Explanation/Disclaimers: Pound for pound, puns are you're best comedic value.



Announcer: "Last time... on pokemon quickies"

*SCENE CHANGE TO FIRST FLASHBACK REMINDER...


Misty: "How will we know who shot Mr. burns... everyone in town is a suspect!"

Ash: *chuckling* "Well I couldn't possibly figure out this mystery... can youuuu?" *points to the screen*


We back the camera up to see he's pointing to Officer Jenny.


Jenny: *sweatdropping* "Well... I'll give it a shot..., its my job... you know..."

*SCENE CHANGE TO SECOND FLASHBACK REMINDER...


We last left young Pikachu charging up his Kamehameha, to fire at the evil Meowth-And-Boo. Will he finally be able to fire off this powerful attack before the end of this episode, or will Meowth-And-Boo dodge it during the 30 minutes that it takes? Find out, right now...


*SCENE CHANGE TO THIRD REMINDER...


When we last left Brock, and his sidekick, Geodude, the boy rock wonder, he was in the clutches of the evil villain Catwoman, about to buried alive under the world's largest sandbox.

Geodude: "Geo... Geodude, dude, geodude." (Holy Sands of time Brockman!)

Brock: "Indeed, talk about your loads of shBleep, we have to find a way out of this evil trap old chum so I can go get myself some pussy. A pussy with a sweet tail." (We are pushing the PG-13 rating as far as it will go)


*SCENE CHANGE TO FOURTH REMINDER...


Good Old JR: "If you want to know why this match is going down tonight, just look what happened last week!"

***A Lugz boot of the week replay***


Just as Kane lifted Misty into the air about to chokeslam her through a table, Ash quickly slides into the ring. Kane drops Misty, and turned to face just in time for Ash to kick Kane in the gut and follow it up with a STUNNER!!! The crowd goes wild.

But as Ash turned away to leave the ring, he walked right into a steel chair, swung by Gary, along with his henchmen men, Tracy and Todd, the new and 200th members of the NWO.



*SCENE CHANGE TO THE FIFTH REMINDER...


Misty: "Oh my gosh! We're trapped in another dimension? Filled with wizards and magic? Seemingly based on an extremely popular series of books and movies?"

Dumbledore nods gravely. The trio look horrified, and the dramatic music plays... stopping suddenly when Ash says, "Aw, snap..."

*END SCENE REMINDERS...


And now... the exciting continuation...
Quickie # 16: ..dont bother to choose.


"Woohoo!" Ash cheered, "That has to be the best opening ever!"

"Yeah!" Brock says, "I got to meet Catwoman! I even got to touch her!"

"Yeah..., So when's the lawsuit?" Misty asked.


"Next Wednesday," Brock replied, "But I think if I we give her royalties for this quickies, we can settle out of court."

"Sweet."

The wise elder wizard Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Ahem."

The trio turned to him, and the wizard continued, "It seems that you three are stuck here, while three of my students are in your world."

"No offense sir..." Ash said, "But... well... duh!"


Brock nodded, "Yeah... I think most of our readers have figure that out by now..."

Dumbledore smiled and said, "Agreed... but do your readers have any idea how to correct the situation?"

"Knowing our readers... I'm sure they've got a few suggestions..." Misty replied.

"Anyway..." Dumbledore went on, "I think I might know a way to get you back to your own time..."

"World." Ash corrected.

"Huh?" Dumbledore asked.


"Our own world... you said, 'our own time'." Ash explained, "We have to go back to our own world."


"Ah... yes, I see..." Dumbledore said, "At any rate, I think I know a way to get you back to your own... WORLD, better?"

"Much, thank you."

"No problem," Dumbledore continued, "But, the spell to send you back will take 24 hours to complete."

"Twenty four hours?" Misty asked.


"Twenty four hours or three or four pages... which ever comes first." Dumbledore explained.


Ash stood up, "Wait... I think I know what's going on here..."


"Really!" Brock asked, "What?"

Ash stepped into the center of the room and yelled out, "Q!!!! We know your behind this! We're tired of your games!"

Everyone else just glances at each other uncomfortably. Misty rested her head in her hands and muttered, "Oh jeez, not this again again."

After a long pause of Ash staring upwards waiting for an answer, Dumbledore finally spoke. "Well... Since you are our here for a day... I'd like to invite you three to be our guests."

Hearing these words, the candlestick sitting on Dumbledore's mantle hops off and starts singing, "...be our guest, put our service to the test, its been..." *ZAP!!!*


Dumbledore blasted the candlestick halfway across the room with a flick of his wand, knocking the candlestick into the fireplace. It screamed and cursed in french, "Je verrai vos âmes brûler dans les puits de l'enfer encore"

Ignoring the look of shock on his visitors, Dumbledore picked up his wand and talked into it like a walkie talkie, and said, "Hagrid, the poltergeists are back. Please take care of them at your earliest connivence before we wind up with another sequel."

"Where were we?" Dumbledore asked when he sat back down.

"In the seventh circle of hell..." Misty muttered.

"Actually, that's located on the basement." Dumbledore replied.

Misty shook her head in disbelief, "Why would you keep something like that on school property?"

"Well, when we were building the school, it was either an indoor pool or a portal to the netherworld, and it seemed like every other magical school had a pool... so in an attempt to be different..." Dumbledore trails off... then spoke up again, "Anyway, you're welcome to anywhere on school grounds..."

"Even the basement?" Ash asked.


"Sorry, seventh years only down there." Dumbledore replied.

"Damn..." Ash muttered.


"Actually, we made that rule to prevent that." Dumbledore responded, "Alright then, why don't you go visit Hagrid, our groundskeeper and Care of Magical Creature professor. I bet he'd be very interested in these... "packy...men?, of yours."

"Pokemon." Brock corrected.


"Look..." Dumbledore said sternly, "I'm like 200 years old, ok? Any glimmer of knowledge I have to anything remotely popular by kids today should be considered a miracle., agreed?"

"Fair deal." Brock agreed.


"Now, you can find Hagrid in the small cabin just outside the castle. I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding it, but if you have any..."

Ash interrupted, "Q!!!! We've grown tired of this game, and we're not going to play for your amusement anymore!"

"Oh lord..." Misty moaned in fustration.



****ONE HOUR LATER...


Our trio have finally made it outside the castle, looking a little frayed. "A bloody funhouse..." Brock complained, "Trap doors, moving stairs, a flamboyantly gay poltergeist. I didn't think we'd ever find a way out."

"Well, we may be in another world," Ash said, "But, I can think of worse places to be stuck for a day."

"Yeah!" Misty agreed, "Nice weather, beautiful grounds, charming accents... not so bad at all. Hey Ash... I meant to ask you... where's Pikachu?"

"Hmm..." Ash said just realizing for the first time that his best friend wasn't with him, "I guess he didn't get transported with us... oh well, I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere..."

***SCENE CHANGE TO...


The blue guy from TRON racing down the cyber track leaving a blue wall of energy behind him. Just as it looked like he was going to escape, the red car swerved out of nowhere in front of him. In the last seconds of the blue guy's life he saw a little yellow mouse inside the red car grinning like a devil and flipping him the bird.

***SCENE CHANGE BACK TO MAIN STORY...


"In 24 hours everything will be switched back to normal, so there's no sense in worrying about him, I'm sure with his kind nature he's making all sorts of friends where ever he is." Ash continued.

"Well, this must be the place." Brock said as they came up to the door of Hagrid's cabin. He knocks a few times. The man that answered the door took all three kids by surprise. The man was massive in height and size, bigger then any man they had ever seen before. Hagrid looked down at the kids and said in a gutteral accent, , "Well, 'ello, and who might you be?"


Ash opened his mouth to answer but Hagrid quickly interrupted, "'oy, never mind, I know who you must be! You must be those kids from another world, right? Dumbledore told me to be expecting you... well come on in then..."

After everyone entered the small hut, (which seemed smaller due to the large built man sitting in the room with them), there was a long pause of silence. After a few minutes of silence, Ash spoke up, "Excuse me...?"


Hagrid blinked a few times, and said,, "Oh sorry der, I didn't formally introduce myself. I forget things sometimes. My name is 'agrid."

"Agrid?" Misty asked.

"No, what are you daff? Not Agrid, it's 'Agrid."

"A-grid?" Misty asked again.


"Ah, cant you understand English... 'Agrid, with an H!" Hagrid said frustrated.


Brock leaned over to Misty and whispered, "Oh why cant the English teach their children how to speak."

Misty elbowed him in the ribs.


Ash went for diplomacy, "We're sorry, but we're not from around here, I'm Ash, this is Misty, and that's Brock."

"Nice to meet ya." Hargrid said offering his hand, "Now then, Dumbledore tells me ya got some beasties that I might be interested in?"


"Beasties?" Ash asked.


"Sounds like some kind of breakfast cereal." Misty chimed in, "Beasties are a part of a complete breakfast."


"OH!" Brock said realizing, "You want to see our Pokemon."

"Yes, I'm very interested, its kind of an 'obby of mine taking care 'o magical creatures." Hagrid explained.


"A what of yours?" Brock asked.

"Lets not go there again, ok?" Misty pleaded.

"Fair deal." Brock agreed.

"Well if you want to see our pokemon," Ash said proudly, "Lets step outside so we can show you what they can really do!"

***Outside***


"FLAMETHROWER!!!" Ash cried out.

Ash's Cyndaquill leaped back, cried out, and sent out a powerful blast of fire into the air. The fire came a little too close to Hagrid, who's beard caught on fire. He screamed loudly and rolled on the ground until the fire was out.


"Jeez!" Ash apologized, "Sorry, sorry! I thought you were out of range."

Hagrid got up and brushed himself off, "Well... its ok... its still not as bad as that bubblebeam to my testicles from before."

"Yeah... sorry about that." Misty said once again.


"Well..." Hargid said looking up, "It looks like its starting to get dark, so you three should head back to the castle and have a bite to eat."


"Food!?!" Ash exclaimed, "Hot damn! See you later Hagrid, nice meeting you!" Ash took off running.

"He gets excited." Misty said, and her and Brock too off after Ash yelling at him to slow down.


***Inside Hogswarts***


Ash should have listened to his friends about slowing down, because no sooner had he entered the school before he crashed into someone. Both kids were knocked on their backsides. "Ash!" Misty yelled, running up to him, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah... fine," Ash muttered, "Sorry about that... I guess I should have looked where I was going."

The blond kid just sneered at Ash, as he was helped up by two very large kids. "Muggles?" the boy said, "Here on Hogwarts property? Just when we got rid of that rotter potter, we end up with garbage like you." (any guesses on who this is?)


Ash glared at the boy while getting up, "Hey look, I'm sorry I ran into you..."


"I am Draco Malfoy!" Draco declared, "A name that would impress you if you weren't a filthy mudblood."


"You don't happen to know a kid from pallet town named Gary... would you?" Ash asked.


Draco just sneered.


Ash looked at Draco's face and asked, "You're not getting enough fiber in your diet, are you?"

Draco wasn't amused, he pulled out his wand and cried out, "Levioso lifta upa to the ceilinga."


Ash was zapped right off his feet and twirled through the air before crashing to the ground in a painful heap. "HEY!" Brock and Misty yelled helping Ash up.


Draco laughed and said, "Welcome to the world of magic muggles."

"The world of Magic?" Brock asked, "I didn't bring my cards with me."

Ash gritted his teeth and reached for one of his pokeballs, "I didn't bring any cards, but I did bring something else..."

Misty grabbed his hand, "Ash! No!" Then leaned in and whispered, "Ash, we're only going to be stuck here for 12 more hours, don't start fighting or we might get in trouble."

"Yeah..., Ash was it?" Draco said to him, "Listen to that skinny ugly little muggle of yours. Just walk on away before I zap off all her hair... not that anything could make her look worse."

Misty leered at Draco and then said, "Alright Ash, kick his ass."

Ash grinned and pulled out a pokeball, "Bayleaf... VINE WHIP!"

The green leaf pokemon leapt out and fired a fierce vine whip and Draco knocking him clean off his feet.


Draco gritted his teeth and pulled out his wand...


***15 minutes later***


"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE???" Professor McGonnigal cried out. The headmaster of Gryffindor looked at the scene splayed out before her.


Draco was hung upside down by Bayleaf's vinewhip, Ash was hanging upside due to Draco's spell, Crabb was soaking wet and laying through a broken table thanks to Misty's Staryu watergun, however Misty's hair was bright green now, Brock was stiff as a rock (insert own dirty joke here) and Goyle was being wrapped up by an Onix. Oh... and somehow during all this, Jerry Mathers as the Beave was killed.


"ALL OF YOU" the professor yelled out, "Will report INSTANTLY to the nurse to be treated, and then you will IMMEDIATELY come here for detention, in all my years here I haven't seen such carnage, and just look what you did to the beaver!"

"He had it coming..." Ash said.

"Yeah!" Misty said, "Draco started it!"

"Oh, not him, Jerry Mathers... it was a little revenge from Dennis the Menace... he had it coming..."

"I don't care!" The professor yelled out, "Detention for ALL of you! AND YOU!!! (turning to the camera) You just stood there and WATCHED all this! I'm VERY disappointed in ALL of you readers... Just for that, you're in a time out..."

With a flick of her wand, the words,

TO BE CONTINUED...


appeared on the screen. "I hope this will teach you a lesson." She said sternly.


Ash looked at the words and dropped down to his knees, and cried out, "Q!!!!! Why have you foresaken me????"


*FADE to Black...



OBLIGITORY TEASER: Announcer: "Oh no! Detention! In Hogwarts! This cant be good for our young heroes! Will they be able to survive long enough to get home? And will there be nudity? I hope so! I cant get enough of the naughty! McGonnigal is the flames that light my loins afire. Don't judge me. Just tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!"



(Alright, I know i said this was going to be a two parter, but there's a bit more i want to do with this, so bear with me, the last chapter will be the last then it'll be back to normal quickies... or as normal as they ever get! I just hope everyone is enjoying this. Thank you all for reading, and I hope you'll keep reading, and keep reviewing, I appreciate it. Oh, and those of you that are following the other part of this quickie miniseries, will be interested in knowing that the last part of Harry Potter's adventure will be coming to an end. Don't miss it, it'll be up soon in the Harry Potter section!)

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(...knick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone...)