Explanation/Disclaimer: How do you type with boxing gloves on?
Pokemon Quickies #23 "I do, I do!"
Authors Note: "Sorry its been so long since I've posted a new quickie, I tried to get a Christmas one up, but I just didn't have time to finish what with work and everything. Then, I got a new computer a few weeks ago, and what was written OF the Christmas one. So when I get that computer up and running I'll take it off it and finish it. Well, I have a new computer buzzing around, I'm back so lets get to business."
Ash: "Yeah… right, we all know the real reason there hasn't been a new quickie. You've become addicted to Neopets.com."
Author's Note: "Damn dirty lies!!!"
Misty: "A better question would be why is this one numbered the 23, when it's only the 22nd one?"
Author's note: "Good question Misty, I knew there was a reason why I have replaced you with May yet. The Christmas one is the 22nd one, and when it goes up, it'll eventually go into it's proper place, so I don't want to rename all these, so I'm just going to call this one number 23. Alright, enough all this, get to work guys, its about to start!"
START EPISODE…
Ash and Misty walked down the isle together, all dressed up this glorious wedding day. The bells were ringing, the birds were singing. Then halfway up the isle, they turned and took a seat. Brock also took his seat.
Oh sorry! Did you think it was those two getting married? Oops. I don't know why you got that idea.
"Maybe because that's what you wrote as a teaser to get people to read this story." Ash said.
That was a typo, now shush!
"Thanks guys" Misty whispered, "I appreciate you guys coming to my cousin's wedding, I'd have hated to come alone."
Ash pouted and said, "I don't mind coming, but why did you ask Brock to come as your date and not me?"
"It's nothing personal Ash," Misty said, "But this is my cousins wedding, I want to make a good impression, and well… how can I put this…"
Ash however wasn't listening, he was holding up the Hymn book and asked, "So if this is a Hymn book… what kind would a female use?"
Misty whispered to Brock, "So how can you put that into an adjective."
"Shmuck." Brock replied.
"Yep, that's the word." Misty agreed.
"Hey!" Ash said, "I can't help it if I come from a long line of shmucks… all the way back to my great great great great great great great great grandfather, King Osirash Ketchum.
***SCENE CHANGE TO ASH'S ANCESTOR SITTING ON A THRONE…
King Ketchum was reading a scroll and asked the bishop, "So if this is a hymn… then what does a female read?"
"This is the middle ages," The bishop replied, "they don't read anything."
"Excellent!" King Ketchum replied, then yelled, "Bring me Jell-o!"
"It hasn't been invented yet sir." the bishop replied.
"It hasn't?" King Ketchum yelled, "I need a time machine! Bring me H.G. Wells!!!"
"He hasn't been born yet sir." the bishop replied.
"Stupid past." the king muttered.
"It's the present sir." the bishop corrected.
King Ketchum glared and snapped his fingers, and two guards dragged the bishop away.
***SCENE CHANGE BACK TO THE MAIN STORY…
After Ash finished his flashback, Misty glared at him for a minute then said, "And you wonder why I asked Brock here instead of you?"
"Shuddup." Ash muttered and folded his arms.
Misty continued, "You should just be glad I invited you and Pikachu here at all…, hey.. Where's Pikachu?"
"He heard they had an open bar at the reception, so he headed over there already." Ash explained.
"He's not old enough to drink…" Brock said.
"Actually," Professor Oak replied, "Much like dogs, Pikachus age seven years for everyone of human year, so that would make Pikachu older then all of you.."
"Fascinating," Ash said stroking his chin then asked, "What are you doing her Professor?"
"Oh, I'm just passing through…" Professor Oak explained, and he continued to shuffle down the pew, down the isle and out the door.
Ash and Brock just shake their heads. "What really should be pointed out," Misty says, "Is that the reception doesn't start for another 2 hours…"
***SCENE CHANGE TO THE RECEPTION HALL…
"Pikachu pika pika chu." Pikachu told the bartender.
"And which wedding party are you with?" The bartender asked.
"Pikachu pika pika." Pikachu explained.
"Oh," The bartender says, "The Waterblossom wedding isn't until 2pm."
"Pika? Pika, pika chu pika pika chu." Pikachu said pointing to a gentleman in the corner.
"You're with that guy's wedding?" The bartender asked, eyeing him suspiciously, "Oh yeah? What's that guy's name."
After a moments pause, Pikachu replied, "…pika?"
The bartender stared at the pokemon for a moment then said cheerfully, "Alrighty then, you're drinking scotch?"
"Pika!" Pikachu nodded.
***SCENE CHANGE BACK TO THE MAIN STORY…
"Oh," Ash said, "I don't know where he is then, but I'm sure he's staying out of trouble. He'll probably only drink some ketchup at the bar anyway."
Misty made a shushing noise, because just at that moment, the music started to play, and the bridesmaids started to head up towards the altar. Ash watched them head up, and whispered, "Why do they call them bridesmaids when they don't really clean up?"
Misty made another shush noise, then whispered.
Ash made an "I'm sorry" face and quietly sat and the wedding. All the way up to the point where the priest asked, "If anyone has any reason to object to this wedding, let them speak now, or forever hold thy peace."
Misty immediately shock a nasty look to Ash, and said, "Don't you dare!"
Ash flushed a bit and whispered, "Misty! I'd never…"
"I've never known you to pass up a straight line…" Misty accused.
"Jeez," Ash said, "It's a wedding, I wouldn't ever interrupt it with a joke…"
Misty made a shushing noise and said, "Ash, jeez, be quiet, I mean, we haven't heard a peep out of Brock, look at how intently he's watching the wedding."
Brock stairs at the altar intently…
***SCENE CHANGE TO THE THOUGHTS GOING ON INSIDE BROCK'S HEAD…
Brock sits in a chair blushing and drooling over Gary's cheerleaders, who are dancing and singing, to up tempo 80's beat, "Oh Brocky your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind, hey Brocky! Hey Brocky!"
"oh Brocky, such a pity you don't understand, would you take me by the heart, would you take me by the hand"
"Oh Brocky your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind, hey Brocky! Hey Brocky!"
***SCENE CHANGE BACK TO THE MAIN STORY…
Brock grins absently . "See?" Misty whispered, "Perfectly behaving,"
"Umm," Ash said, "He's drooling."
Misty looked and swore under her breath and punched her date in the arm.
"Ow!" Brock whispered, "What was that for?"
"You were having that stupid day dream again, weren't you? The one with Gary's cheerleaders and "December of 1963"
"Mickey was playing this time," Brock said.
"You mean that song by Taco?" Ash asked.
"No, Toni Basil did Mickey, Taco did Putting on the Ritz" Brock corrected.
"Hmmm." Ash thought, "I could go for some Ritz crackers… how much longer until the reception?", Ash asked Misty.
Misty just glared at Ash, "Why are you glaring at me like that? I didn't do anything! Besides, what about Brock and his fantasies?"
"At least he's being quiet!" Misty scolded.
Ash started to open his mouth to protest, then thought better of out of it, pouted and folded his arms and looked up at the altar.
"I do."
"I do."
"I now pronounce you man and wife," The priest said, "You may now kiss the bride."
"Brock…" Misty asked, "Are you crying?"
Brock (sniffling): "I am no good at weddings"
"That's very sweet." Misty said.
Inside Brock's head we hear a voice say, "There goes another woman I have no chance with." Brock bursts into flowing tears.
***A LITTLE WHILE LATER… (At the reception)
Ash Misty and Brock headed into the large reception hall. "Wow!" Misty said, "This is beautiful!"
Ash, even though still a bit grumpy from the wedding incident, had to admit the place was decorated really elegantly, "How many people are here for this wedding?: Ash asked, looking at all the tables.
"Over 150, I think," Misty said.
"Closer to 188" Professor Oak said coming up behind them, "Just count all the chairs, then you have to adjust for the people that didn't show up and…"
Ash interrupted, "What are you doing here?"
Professor Oak shrugged and said, "I like answering questions." Then walked off.
The trio sighed and shook their heads. "Well," Brock said, "let's get our seats."
After finding their seats, Ash wasn't happy. "Hey," Ash said, "How come you and Brock sit next to each other at table 5... And I'm by myself over at table 8?"
"Uh oh," Misty said, "I guess cause Brock and I are here together, they stuck us together… and you got lost in the shuffle."
"Nice…" Ash muttered, "I'm going to go find Pikachu, ok?"
***AT THE BAR…
Pikachu, slightly slurring its words, "Pikashhhhu, Shu… pika!"
The bartender said, "Look, I think you've had enough, why don't you?"
"Pi." Pikachu replied.
The bartender replied, "Oh, you don't? My mistake, Whiskey or Scotch this time?"
"Pika." Pikachu answered.
"One mixture of both, coming right up." The bartender replied cheerfully.
"Oh!" Ash said, "There you are. Have you been behaving?"
"PIKACHUUUUU!" Pikachu stood up and yelled loudly.
"Yes yes," Ash said, "I missed you too, you missed a nice wedding."
Pikachu spun around on it chair trying to catch its tail every time it went around it would go "Pi, pi, pi"
Ash, not paying attention, "except of course Misty read me the riot act. I don't know what I did wrong this time!"
Pikachu caught its tail then fell off the barstool giggling uncontrollably. "Maybe I really oblivious at times," Ash pondered out loud. Suddenly a large smoke bomb went off filling the room up with smoke.
???: "PREPARE FOR TROUBLE, I KNOW YOU'RE DREADING…"
???: "AND MAKE IT DOUBLE CAUSE WE'RE AT A WEDDING!"
Pikachu stopped giggling and lifted its head up and said, "Pi?"
Ash continued to think out loud, "But then, if I was oblivious, wouldn't I be oblivious to being oblivious?"
Jessie: "to protect the world from devastation."
James: "to unite all peoples within our nation."
Jessie: "To denounce the evils of truth and love"
James: "To extend our reach to the stars above."
Jessie: "Jessie!"
James: "James!"
Jessie: "Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light…"
James: "…surrender now or prepare to fight!"
Meowth (leaping from off screen): "That's right!"
Wobufett, "WOBBOFETT!!!"
"QUIET YOU!!!" Jessie yells kicking the blue pokemon off screen, "You cheap Grimace rip off."
"Now hand over pikachu, or we'll have to get rough with you too!" James commanded.
Ash put his head in his hand at the bar and said, "But then, if I really was oblivious, I really would be oblivious to being oblivious but I wouldn't realize I was oblivious about being oblivious and think I wasn't being oblivious about being oblivious… hey… do you realize when you say a word like oblivious enough times it starts to sound weird."
"What the hell is that oblivious twerp going on about now?" Jessie asked.
"I dunno," Meowth said, "But Pikachu is soused, lets grab it!"
Pikachu stood and said "PIKA" menacingly, but when it tried to do a thunderbolt it just tipped over on its side and started to giggle again.
"Oh yeah," Jessie said, "I've been there before, let's grab him before…"
Pikachu suddenly stopped laughing and its eyes got wide, "Pika… pika! PIKA!!!!"
And then in a loud noise it released a large involuntary blast of electricity, more then enough to send Team Rocket flying away.
In the air, "Oh no! I forgot about uncontrollable discharge!" Jessie complained.
"We were so close its shocking we didn't win this time!" James said.
"But at least the reception was a blast!" Meowth said.
Suddenly Ash snapped his head up, "TEAM ROCKET!!!… uh team rocket?"
Ash looked around, "I could have sworn I heard something, oh well…, come on Pikachu, let's go check out what's going on at the reception."
Just as Ash stood up he was greeted by a familiar voice, "Hey! I didn't know you were here too!"
***BACK IN THE RECEPTION…
"Hmmm…" Misty said her head in her hand, she asked Brock, "Where do you think Ash is?"
Brock didn't respond, he was just staring off into space.
"Brock?" Misty asked.
Suddenly Brock started to hum , Misty sighed and punched him in the arm again.
"What? Huh?" Brock said snapping back to reality, then he looked at Misty and said, "Oh… its you."
"You were back in you're oldies place, weren't you?" Misty asked.
"This time it was La Bamba and Ash's mom." Brock confessed.
"I don't think I have to tell you how disturbing that is, do I?" Misty asked.
"No…" Brock responded, "No, I think I have some idea…"
"So can you believe that Ash is annoyed at me?" Misty asked, "After what he did?"
Brock looked confused, "What did he do?"
"When the priest said, speak now or forever hold your peace, Ash was going to say something." Misty explained.
"That's pretty bad," Brock said, "What did he say?"
"Well, its not that he said anything its that he might have said something, uh oh." Misty said realizing, "and oh my god, he really didn't do anything did he and I'm a bitch, aren't I?"
Brock took a sip from his glass and said, "Not really my place to say anything."
"I guess I really should apologize to Ash… I mean I really cant get mad at something he MIGHT do… especially if he didn't do it." Misty said looking around for Ash.
"Not until your married at least…" Brock muttered.
"What was that?" Misty asked still looking around to see if she could find Ash.
"Nothing never mind… uh oh…" Brock said noticing something, "This… might not be the best time to go apologize to Ash."
"Why?" Misty said, "Did you spot him?
Brock pointed to the dance floor. "The dance floor?" Misty said, "It's a slow song, why would Ash be out there during a slow song?"
Misty looked out to the dance floor and was horrified to what she saw, Ash out on the dancing floor, dancing with MAY!!! "What the hell is going on there?" Misty asked furiously.
Professor Oak walked up behind Misty and said, "Well, they're doing a quarter-time waltz to the 1978 love song classic…"
"WOUL D YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?" Misty snapped to the roaming professor.
Misty stormed out to the dance floor and said, "What are you doing here?" Misty asked May.
"Oh hi Misty!" May said not stopping her dance with Ash, "You're cousin married my second cousin, isn't that a pretty cool coincidence?"
"Well," Misty said, "Maybe you should go congratulate your second cousin, and I'll finish this dance with Ash."
"What are you? Jealous or something?" May asked, "I mean, if what Ash told me is correct, you took Brock to the wedding, not Ash."
Misty made a small low growling noise, "Alright May, fine, I'm jealous ok? NOW may I cut in?"
May thought about it for a second and then said, "You know what? I'd still rather not, besides Ash is having more fun dancing with me, right?"
Ash stammered looking for the right words. Fortunately for Ash, the right words came when Misty tackled May. Everyone watched the two wrestle on the dance floor and everyone backed away. The fight spilt over onto a table spilling soup on the two fighters.
Meanwhile, now that the dance floor is now cleared, out runs pikachu, three sheets to the wind and a lamp shade on its head. It slides across the floor, and starts to break dance. It goes into a spin, goes out of control and takes out the table with the wedding cake on it, falling on top of the drunken pokemon.
Soaking wet in soup, the two girls then proceed to roll around on the floor each trying to get into the dominate position. All the while Ash stood next to Brock watching this. "Um… Brock…" Ash asked.
"What Ash?" Brock replied.
"Is it wrong that this is turning me on slightly?" Ash asked.
"Ash, my friend," Brock said, "If that's wrong… then I don't want to be right."
Ash nodded, "Truly a moral for our viewers…"
***A LITTLE WHILE LATER…
Ash Brock Misty and May stood of the corner of the room while everyone filed out of the reception hall. The fight had gotten a little out of control. That and Pikachu had another drunken 'discharge' setting fire to the best man.
"I cant believe we nearly killed the best man." May said embarrassed.
Ash shrugged, "At least they have a 10,000 dollar winner for America's funniest home videos."
"True." Misty agreed, "May… I'm sorry, I made a complete ass of myself. I just got overwhelmed by jealousy."
"Yeah…" May agreed, "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have pushed your buttons."
"And I'm sorry for being oblivious," Ash said, "oblivious… oblivious… he he, funny word."
"Are you done?" Misty asked.
"Yep, think so." Ash replied.
"And I'm most sorry of all." Brock said.
"Really?" Misty said, "What are you sorry for?"
Brock started to cry, "I'm sorry Ash had two girls fighting for him and I cant even get one! Well… if you will all excuse me."
Brock stared off into space…
***INSIDE BROCK'S HEAD
Music plays: "WHO YOU GONNA CALL???
GHOSTBUSTERS!!!"
Brock comes on screen in full Ghostbusters attire, accompanied by Sailor Moon, Kagome, and Ash's Mom, dressed in less then Ghostbusters's attire. The four romp together as the hit 80's theme song plays, and we slowly fade to black.
THE END
"Happy Valentines Day, guys," Ash said, "Good quickie guys."
"Yeah, not a bad one," May said, "So… am I going to be a regular now?"
The regular trio shrugged, "I dunno." Brock said, "Depends on fan reaction I guess."
"And what about my brother Max?" May asked.
"Nobody likes him." Ash explained.
"Fair enough." May replied.
"So?" Misty asked Brock, "Any plans for Valentines day?"
"I have a date with April O' Neil." Brock answered, "We're going out for pizza."
"Classic April, or new April?" Ash asked.
"Classic."
"Nice, man." Ash answered, and gave Brock a high five.
Misty elbowed him, gently, "Hey now…"
"So…" Ash asked, "How should we end this one?"
"There can only be one way." Brock said.
Everyone nodded, then spun around and sang, "Hey Mickey your so fine, your so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey!!!"
Pikachu, apparently drunk for real, staggers on stage and has another involuntary discharge taking out all four bad singers.
Ash sat up singed and said, "Man, since this is valentines day… does that this a heartburn?"
*everyone else just rolls their eyes*
THE REAL END
Alright, the sabbatical is over and the quickies of 2004 have begun. I know this is belated but I hope everyone had a merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate), and a very Happy New Year. (And a happy January too.) I will get the Christmas quickie up as soon as I can, promise. And hopefully the next quickie will be up soon. Thanks for everyone that read this after such a long break! I really do appreciate it. Happy Valentines Day!