Explanation/Disclaimer: Oblivious
Quickie #24: Hey, what'd I miss? II
Announcer: "This week on pokemon quickies we thought we'd do things a little different. And by different I mean we're going to do something we've done before. Twelve episodes ago (play along), quickie # 12, we cleaned out my vault of deleted scenes from the past quickies. Now, the vault is filled, so its time to do some spring cleaning again. What will follow will be deleted scenes from older quickies that didn't make the cut for some reason… either that or they will be scenes that I've just made up to fill up an entire quickie. Either or it's all good, I promise. So you might want to have read the last ones before you read this one… or whatever… see if I care. This is not just a throw away episode because all the main characters just up and left to Las Vegas, leaving only Max and Tracey behind… and as we all know, an all "Max and Tracey" episode is the 2nd sign of the apocalypse. Enjoy!
Quickie #15: Do you believe in magic?
(in the first deleted scene we seen an alternate scene of Ash's handyman ineptitude.)
"Jeez" Ash complained, still fiddling with the wires, "What's with you two? Why do you naturally assume that I can't fix this thing?"
"Well…" Misty said, "Remember the time…"
****SCENE CHANGE TO…
Ash pulled himself from under the car and wiped the grease from his face. He grinned at his mom, along with Misty, Brock and Tracey. "Whew," He said, "That about does it mom, the new battery is installed, so she should be running fine."
Ash's mom gave her a son a kiss on his forehead and said, "Oh thank you hunny"
Ash beamed and said, "I told you, no sweat… and you wanted to pay a mechanic to do it."
"Well," Misty said, "Should we start her up?"
At those words, the lights of the car turned on, even though no one was even in the car. Everyone looked at the car in shock, and Ash sweatdropped. "Ash…" Misty asked, "Why did the lights come on by itself?"
"Oh…" Ash said rubbing the back of his head, "I wouldn't worry about that… I'm sure its nothing a little power surge… nothing to worry about."
Suddenly the car's engine started, and it made an unholy roar. Everyone now looked at the car with wide eyed horror. "Ummm." Ash's Mom said, "Why did the car start?"
"Come on guys," Ash said, "You worry too much, this all very normal."
"Ash…" Brock said, "The car is bleeding."
Sure enough, blood started dripping from the headlights, causing them to cast an evil red glow. Ash looked at it and said, "Power surge… happens all the time."
The car accelerated with no warning, driving forward, running over Tracey. Misty shrieked and leapt into Ash's arms. "ASH!" She cried out as the car drove out of the driveway top speed, apparently not caring what it just did to Tracey, and took off down the street.
Misty cried panic stricken, "Ash!!! What did you do to the car?"
"Nothing!" Ash replied, "I swear, all I did was put in a replacement battery I got down at the dump from an old car."
"What car?" Misty asked.
"I dunno," Ash answered, "An old fashion one, red… had a vanity plate on it… what was its name… Carol? Carrie?"
Brock looked at Ash in disbelief and guessed, "Christine?"
Ash snapped his fingers, "THAT'S IT! How'd you know? Ummm… why are you all looking at me like that?"
Everyone walked away from Ash, muttering stuff like, "Dumbass" "Shmuck"
Ash dejected said, "This is the thanks I get for saving Mom 20 bucks." And walked away.
After a minute, we hear Tracey moan, "Hello? Why isn't anyone helping me? Or calling an ambulance? Helloooooo?
****Alternate ending to that joke…***
The car accelerated with no warning, driving forward, running over Tracey. Misty shrieked and leapt into Ash's arms. "ASH!" She cried out as the car drove out of the driveway top speed, apparently not caring what it just did to Tracey, and took off down the street
Brock watched the car drive off and asked Ash, "Ash…, when you put the battery in, that little switch on it, did you make sure to switch the setting from "EVIL" to "GOOD"… right?"
Ash stared vacantly at Brock for a second, then chuckled rubbing the back of his head sweatdropping and said, "Ummm… of course I did… why would you ask such a silly question?"
Suddenly Professor Oak runs like hell past Ash's home, the evil Neo-Prism on his heels, he screams, "Someone get this freaking car away from me!"
Brock watches this happen and replies to Ash, "I dunno… call it a gut feeling."
***END SCENE
A/N: I didn't use the first version because it was either use the Space Odyssey 2001 joke or the Stephen King's Christine joke… so I went with the lesser of two evils. I didn't use the second version because I didn't know if anyone would get the very subtle reference to an old Treehouse of Horror episode of the Simpson's. And without it… the 'evil/good' switch didn't make too much sense. Even worse… I couldn't find a way to tack on the added pun of Professor Oak's fleeing from the car saying that he'll eventually get "Exhausted". A shame… it would have been a real gas. Ok… no time to take a brake, lets accelerate on to the next deleted scene.
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Quickie #16: Don't Bother To Choose.
(this one fits right in at beginning of the episode, as Dumbledore is explaining how he can send our favorite trio back home)
Dumbledore smiles warmly at his guests and said, "You have the power to go home right now… you always did… just click your heels together three times and say 'there's no place like home.'"
The trio stared at the professor for a minute then Brock asked, "You're just screwing with us, aren't you?"
Dumbledore smiled and said, "Oh yes…"
***END SCENE***
A/N: "Too short… not that sweet… it got cut."
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Quickie # 16: Don't Bother To Choose.
(this is an addendum to the ending of this quickie)
With a flick of her wand, the words,
TO BE CONTINUED...
appeared on the screen. "I hope this will teach you a lesson." She said sternly.
Ash looked at the words and dropped down to his knees, and cried out, "Q!!!!! Why have you forsaken me????"
In a bright flash of light Q appeared before Ash and said, "Augh! You keep calling me! What in the seven hells of Tiptock do you want?!"
Ash looked that the alien being for a minute then asked, "In that episode, 'Encounter at Far Point', if you were really omnipotent, how come you got the style of dress for the crew of the Enterprise off by like 4 centuries? I mean… really."
Q shook his head in disgust and said, "Look… why don't you bother someone else? Stop calling me or I'm going to get a restraining order." And in a flash the alien was gone… and Ash could have sworn he heard the being mutter, 'nerd' as he was disappearing.
Ash looked stunned, Brock came up to him and said, "If you can't bother Q anymore… it looks like you're all out of super beings that you can pester."
Ash made a sad face, dropped to his knees and cried "Mr. Mxyzptlk… I need you now!!!"
***END SCENE***
A/N: "I honestly didn't think of this extra ending until it was too late… although I think the story ended fine the way it was and this would have just been tacked on. But it does make a good joke in and of it self I hope."
Ash: "Why do you keep talking after the quotes?"
A/N: "Its kind of like directors commentary… isn't it cool?"
Misty: "Not really, its kind of annoying… please stop."
A/N: Really?"
Brock: "Yeah… you're making an ass of yourself."
A/N: *pouting* "Fine… if it's that bad… I'm out of here then…"
…
…
…
…
Misty: "Is he gone?"
Ash: "Yeah!"
Ash, Misty and Brock: "WOOHOO, *singing* 'we're in charge, we're in charge!!!'"
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Quickie # 17: If its jug band music or rhythm and blues…
Suddenly a giant snake appeared before them, "Excuse me... but it was a snake... hissing."
"Woah, cool!" Ash said, "An Arbok!"
"I am NOT an Arbok," The snake said, "I am the ultimate evil!"
"Hamtaro?" Ash asked.
(Alternate responses by Ash that were considered…)
1. "Naraku?" Ash asked.
Ash: (commenting from off stage a'la directors commentary) "Not as funny as Hamtaro."
2. "Michael Jackson?" Ash asked.
Misty: "Too creepy"
3. "Barney" Ash asked.
Brock: "Been there… done that… WAY too 1995."
4. "Bill Gates?" Ash asked.
Misty: "Didn't want to get sued."
5. "Misty?" Ash asked.
Ash: "That response got me a lump on the head."
6. "Pepsi one?" Ash asked.
Brock: "Now see… that one didn't even make sense."
7. "Anything that has roasted sun-dried tomatoes on it?" Ash asked.
Misty: "Neither did that one…"
Ash: "It did too! I hate sun dried tomatoes… bleh…"
Misty: "Is that why you said Pepsi one? Because you don't like it?"
Ash: "Oh no… its because it really IS evil."
Misty: *sweatdropping* "I see… lets move on, shall we?"
***END SCENE***
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Quickie #19: They Came From The Pumpkin Patch or... Halloweenies
(here are some alternate costumes the gang tried on for the Halloween special)
"So how lucky could we be? We needed a costume, and there across the street was a costume shop. It couldn't have been more convenient if it was written by a writer who didn't know a better way to set up a string of jokes."
Brock comes out dressed like WWE Superstar HHH. He flexes and growls, "I am the game!!!"
Ash comes out dressed like the guy from Operation, "Me too!"
Next, Misty came out in a light pink dress with white gloves, and a blonde wig. "What do you think Ash?" Misty asked.
"I'm sorry… but our Princess is in another castle." Ash responded.
Next, Ash came out wearing a wearing a fake plastic muscular chest and a plastic sword, "BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!!!"
Brock called out, "You have the… worst costume of the day."
"Harsh…" Ash replied.
It's Brock's turn as he comes out dressed like Batman. "Up up and AWAY!" Brock called out.
"That's SUPERMAN!" Ash corrected.
"Hey," Brock said, "Thanks! It's that good?"
Misty's up next, dressed in a yellow dress with a brown wig, along with a talking clock and candlestick. "So what do you think?" Misty asked.
"I dunno," Ash said, "I'd have to say the costume rings a Belle."
Ash took one last crack at a costume, and came out wearing a suit and tie complete with Bill Gates mask.
Misty quickly pulled the mask off Ash and asked, "Geez Ash, you wanna get sued?"
***END SCENE
Misty: "So why did we cut those out?"
Ash: "Because they weren't thought of until this quickie."
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Quickie 20: Mockumentary
(The one genre that wasn't touched upon…)
Professor Oak, "I'd like to pause the action for just one moment, so our characters can break into a very popular genre… song."
Brock picks up the remote and starts to sing,
"Ash went down to Georgia,
He was looking for some pokemon to catch
He was way behind, cause Gary was fine,
Our hero was in a mess.
When he came upon a young Pikachu
Sitting down on top of a stump
He rushed in and tried to grab it
Cause he really was a chump."
Professor Oak, "Alright that's enough… that's just horrible."
***END SCENE
Brock: "Aww man, I cant believe we showed that."
Ash: "Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing."
Brock: "Don't worry, I know how to handle this. Ash, glasses."
Ash and Brock stick on glasses and Brock pulls out a neutralizer, and in a bright flash, we jump to…
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Quickie 21: The Thanksgiving Day Massacre.
(What was Pikachu doing in the supermarket?)
Pikachu ran down the condiment isle and was in heaven. "PIKA!" Pikachu cried happily seeing all the bottles of ketchup. It leapt up to the shelf and opened a bottle and started drinking happily. A clerk saw the pokemon feasting and walked up to it and said, "Hey, put that down!"
"Pika!" The pokemon said bristling its fur clutching the bottle tighter.
"Hey!" the clerk said, "Unless you can pay for that, put it down."
"CHU!!!" Pikachu said clutching tighter still, sending out angry sparks.
The clerk grabbed the bottle from the pokemon in anger. Pikachu looked the man in shock, reached over, grabbed another bottle of ketchup, and smashed it down on the shelf breaking it. It then took its make-shift shive and leapt on top of the man trying to slash him.
***END SCENE
Ash: "We couldn't legally show that one because Pikachu is still in court over it How's that going anyway Pikachu."
Pikachu gave a thumbs up and pointed over to his lawyer, who also gave a thumbs up and said, "If the ketchup ain't free, then innocent he must be!"
Misty rolled her eyes and said, "And on that note, I think we'll call this one a wrap."
"Did you say wrap?" Ash asked.
"Yes." Misty replied.
"Oh good… thought you said something else." Ash said.
THE END
"Hey," Ash said, "Did we clean out the video vault?"
"Yep" Brock said, "Plenty of room for the Inu-Yasha videos now."
"THAT'S what this was all about?" Misty asked.
"Yeah well…" Ash said, "We just got a boat load of them off E-bay."
"Shouldn't we keep Pokemon videos in the vault?" Misty asked.
"Feh." Brock and Ash said at the same time.
Misty looked at the two for a minute, then shrugged and said, "Whatever… I get paid anyway."
THE REAL END
So, that's two dozen (the Christmas one will be up soon, I think, so two dozen is sorta correct… in an incorrect way.) I really do appreciate all the people that read my stories, you really make all the writing worth while. Nothing better then making people laugh, I really mean that. A close second would be getting reviews… hint hint. Seriously guys and gals, thanks for reading the last 2 dozen stories, and I really hope you'll stick around for the next dozen (or more). Thanks, and take care!