Disclaimer: I don't understand. Of course it's fiction. Why on Earth would that mean it isn't real?

Ch. 21:

Piper stood at the sink, trying to get the goo out of her clothes, as Phoebe stood behind her, wrapping herself in a robe.

"Maybe you should just take me out back and hose me down." Phoebe said as Piper wiped her hands.

"Oh, my god!" Paige exclaimed as she orbed in. "I'm so sorry I'm late. Did I miss the vanquish?"

"Ask her." Piper replied, motioning to Phoebe.

Phoebe put her dress next to the sink and bounded over to her sister.

"Hi." She said excitedly, grabbing Paige in a hug. "Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi."

"Hey!" Paige said, returning the hug. "Oh, my gosh, Phoebe, how are you?"

"Great." Phoebe replied.

"How's Jason?" Paige asked.

"He's great." Phoebe told her. "How's Richard?"

"Ah, he's fabulous." Paige said dreamily as Piper turned around to face. "He was taking his sweet time getting out of the house this morning. That's why I couldn't orb."

"What, you don't orb with him in the house?" Phoebe asked.

"She's asked Richard to not use his magic." Piper told her.

"Yes." Paige agreed. "I'm trying to be supportive and, you know, not use my magic in front of him."

"Wow." Phoebe said. "A magic-free life. You're the last witch in the world I'd expect that from."

"It's not magic-free." Paige protested. "It's just…magic-lite."

"Yeah, it's still a lot to give up." Piper said.

"What I get from him kind of more than makes up for it, I think." Paige said as she sat on the counter.

"Eww." Phoebe complained.

"How's Hong Kong?" Paige asked, changing the subject.

"It's fascinating." Phoebe said happily. "I'm studying numerology and the Chinese zodiac. But you know, 'Distant waters doesn't quench the immediate thirst'."

"Huh?" Paige asked.

"Ancient Chinese proverb." Piper answered.

"It's just that I miss my family." Phoebe clarified.

"Well, that's good, 'cause your family misses you, too." Piper told her. "I mean, I don't have a lot of people to hang out with aside from my baby, who doesn't really say much, a really neurotic whitelighter, and an elemental who's about ready to go out of her mind."

"Yeah, how is my buddy Chris and our future adoptive niece Meredith?" Phoebe asked. "Last time I saw them, they weren't in such good shape."

"Chris is trying his best to hide it, but he's still really shaken up." Piper answered.

"Well, he lost his fiancée, you know, I don't blame him." Phoebe said. "It's huge."

"Yeah, and there's something in the future that's really freaking him out." Paige said. "Him and Meredith."

"Yeah." Piper agreed. "And now he's split his protective obsessions between Wyatt and Meredith, so between the demon hunts every day, and the nearly daily blow ups between him and Meredith, he may actually not be long for this world. If he doesn't let her out of the house soon, Meredith may actually kill him."

"I feel like such a bad sister, leaving you guys alone to handle all this." Phoebe said.

"No." Piper told her. "No, we're fine. For the most part, Chris and Meredith stick to P3 or the attic, so Wyatt and I are enjoying having the manor to ourselves."

"Really?" Paige asked.

"Yeah." Piper assured her. "I mean, we have room to spread out. And life is very quiet and calm, and best of all, everything stays clean."

Phoebe laughed as Piper turned back to the sink, grabbing the clothes, and headed to the utility room.

"Well, if I'm gonna hang out, I better change my clothes." Phoebe said as she slipped off her stool. "I think I left some here."

"I'll go with you." Paige said as Phoebe head for the door.

Piper went to the washing machine and put the clothes in the water. She turned her back to get the soap, a coalesced glob of the green goo slid out of the washer and down its side. It hit the floor and sank into a vent.

"No, being born under the year of the ox is a good thing." Phoebe was saying as she and Paige walked upstairs. "It' means you're a natural-born lea…" They turned the corner and stopped. "…der. What happened to my room?"

Instead of her room, Phoebe found a completely different room. Looking around, she realized that the room held all of Meredith's stuff now.

"Holy…I guess when Piper said they were gonna spread out, she wasn't kidding." Paige said.

"Well, where's all my stuff?" Phoebe demanded. "Heh. I mean, I have stuff, you know, lots and lots of stuff."

"Well, being an ox, I can take charge of this." Paige told her. "You can borrow something from my room until we straighten this out."

They walked down to Paige's room and opened the door to find a new nursery. Leo was holding Wyatt and sitting in a chair as Meredith sat in another chair, studiedly ignoring Chris, who was leaning on the arm of the chair.

"Oh, hi, baby!" Phoebe said, forgetting about her things as she rushed over to Wyatt.

"This one, too?" Paige asked.

"Yeah." Phoebe told her. "You move, you lose it in this family."

"Yeah, sorry about your room." Meredith told Phoebe. "I missed my room, and well, you didn't live here while I was growing up."

"Yeah, well you could lose a lot more than an bedroom when this is over." Chris said.

"Hi, Chris." Phoebe said sarcastically. "I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

"Oh, he's fine." Meredith said crossly. "Happily making the rest of us miserable."

"It's his job to offer his opinion." Leo rebuked.

"You know the only reason why she's even here is Paige missed the vanquish." Chris told him.

"Another one?" Leo asked.

"Yeah." Chris said. "That makes what? Five in a row now?"

"At least she gets to leave the house." Meredith muttered.

"I let you leave the house!" Chris protested.

"Chris, letting me shadow walk to P3 or go out with you as a chaperone doesn't count." Meredith told him.

"He's just trying to keep you safe." Leo told her.

"I've told him, I don't want to be protected." She replied.

"It's not going to stop me from doing it." Chris told her.

"When did you three become so chummy?" Phoebe asked.

"We're not chummy." Leo said. "It's just, they've gone through a lot protecting Wyatt, and I figure instead of doubting them, I…should help him a little."

"So, what do you guys think?" Piper asked as she walked in. "You like Wyatt's new room?"

"I like it." Paige said gruffly. "I just liked my room, too."

"And I like it." Phoebe added. "I just liked my room, too."

"Sorry." Meredith said sheepishly.

"Oh, it's alright, honey." Phoebe said, getting up and wrapping her arm around the girl. "Can someone just tell me where my clothes are?"

Paige and Phoebe went through the boxes tucked away in the corner of the attic as Piper watched.

"Ah, god…" Paige said, "this really…kind of hitting home."

"What's that?" Piper asked.

"Well, that I don't live here anymore." Paige replied.

"Ugh, I know what you mean." Phoebe said.

"Yeah, Richard's just doesn't feel like home yet, you know?" Paige said. "I don't know. I guess I just had more fun here."

"Yeah." Piper said, smirking. "'Cause this place is a riot."

"YOU STUPID OVER PROTECTIVE MORON!" they heard Meredith scream from the other room.

"Ah, and so today's fight starts." Piper said.

Meredith came stomping in and threw herself into a chair.

"If I kill him, would that be a problem?" she seethed.

"Well, it seems like that would be counterproductive." Piper replied.

"Right." Meredith said. "What if I just seriously maim?"

"What did he do?" Paige asked.

"I wanted to go track down a demon that specializes in time travel." Meredith said. "He threw a conniption fit!"

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but, which demon were you looking for?" Piper asked.

"Tempus." She replied.

"Uh, didn't we vanquish him?" Phoebe asked.

"He was seriously injured by resetting time when Prue died, so he's basically in a coma, but I was hoping I could find him." Meredith replied. "My next try was going to be Clyde, but he mainly deals with the past, so he's not as helpful. But since he can move people to the past and back to the present, he might know something that could help. I just thought finding Tempus might be easier since he can't actively fight me."

"So what's the problem?" Paige asked.

"Mr. Over-Protective in there won't let me out without a guard." Meredith grumbled.

"How can he even stop you?" Piper asked. "Can't you just shadow walk out of here?"

"Unfortunately, he has access to a spell that you guys developed to keep me in the house when I was grounded." Meredith said. "He's capable of keeping me trapped in here indefinitely."

"Can't you write a counter spell?" Phoebe asked.

"I haven't been able to so far." Meredith said, sinking further into the chair. "Right now I'm biding my time. Eventually he has to sleep, then I'll get my revenge."

"Okay." Phoebe said slowly as Piper sat down next to her to look through the boxes. "That's slightly frightening."

"Oh, wow, Phoebe." Piper said. "These are some boots."

She pulled a pair of bright red go-go boots.

"No." Phoebe said, looking at them. "They're not mine, but I wish they were 'cause they're hot!"

"The box says 'Penny'." Paige said, looking at the side of the box. "Penny as in 'Grams', Penny?"

"No way." Phoebe protested. "I refuse to believe that Grams ever wore anything this hot."

"Yeah." Piper agreed. "I figured her more for steel-toed orthopedics. You know, the better to kick you ass with."

"They're your size, Paige." Phoebe said, holding the boots out to her. "Try 'em on."

"I don't know." Paige groaned.

"Oh, come on, Aunt Paige." Meredith said, chuckling. "Live a little."

"They're kind of sixties." Paige said, removing her shoes.

"So, what's wrong with the sixties?" Phoebe asked.

"The sixties was like the worst fashion era." Paige complained as she slipped on the first boot and zipped it up. "Hello? Bad clothing…bad hair, and extremely questionable personal hygiene."

"Oh, come on." Meredith told her. "You don't like bell bottoms, head bands, peace signs…awesome music?"

"Hey, they fit." Paige said, surprised, as she put her other foot on the ground.

With a magical poof, she disappeared.

"Hey." Phoebe said, turning to Piper. "Where'd she go?"

"Christopher!" Meredith yelled, running from the room.

Paige appeared in a bedroom and looked around to find a strawberry-blonde haired woman glowing in front of a mirror.

"Um, pardon me." Paige said.

"Hold on." The woman replied. "I'm adjusting my aura. You know how those blocked chakras can get." The colors around her slowly shifted to match. "There."

She finished and turned to Paige, noticing her boots.

"Oh, you brought my go-go boots." She said happily. "Right on."

"Actually, they brought me." Paige replied.

"That's because I cast a return-to-owner spell on all my favorite stuff." The woman told her. "I'm always taking my clothes off and forgetting them somewhere these days."

"Excuse me." Paige said. "Um, who are you?"

"Penny." The woman replied.

"Penny." Paige repeated, amazed. "As in…Penny Halliwell, Penny?"

"Yeah." Penny replied. "Who are you?"

"I'm Paige." She told Penny. "I'm your gran-" Paige stopped herself. "I'm your grandest fan. I heard so much about you."

"Far out." Penny said, smiling.

"Far out." Paige agreed as she turned to look at the calendar on the wall, which read January…1967. "You have no idea how far out."

A blonde woman poked her head into the room.

"The whitelighters are putting on a light show." She told Penny.

"Oh, come on, Paige." Penny said, grabbing Paige's hand. "You don't want to miss this."

She stepped out of the room, pulling Paige along.

"What do you mean you lost Paige?" Chris demanded.

"Well, it was really weird." Phoebe said. "I mean, one second she was here, and the next second, poof."

"It kind of happened after she put on a pair of Grams' boots." Piper added.

"Grams used to cast spells on her clothes when she was young." Leo said.

"Wait, you knew Grams when she was young?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah." Leo told her. "We crossed paths once or twice when I was a young whitelighter."

"Eww!" Piper said, scrunching up her face.

"Well, I barely remember it." Leo said, obviously embarrassed.

"Huh." Piper replied.

Phoebe and Meredith looked at each other for a moment before turning back to Leo.

"Eww." They both said at the same time, making Piper laugh.

"Well, if the boots did belong to your grandmother, then we better summon her from the dead." Chris said. "Maybe she can tell us what happened to Paige."

"Okay." Phoebe agreed. "Let's get the candles."

"But you-" Piper said, looking at Leo, but Phoebe grabbed her and tugged her away.

"Outta sight!" Penny said as she and Paige stood in the stairway.

In the sitting room, a group of witches watched as a group of whitelighters cast orbs above their heads in different patterns, the first being a peace sign.

"I'm Robin, by the way." The blonde told Paige. "So what do you think?"

The whitelighters shifted the pattern into a heart and Paige got a good look at one of the whitelighters.

"Oh, my god!" she exclaimed. "Is that Leo?"

"You know him?" Penny asked.

"I thought I did." She replied.

The whitelighters shifted the pattern again and the heart became an infinity symbol before the orbs burst into a shower of white light that rained down on the audience's heads, who burst into applause.

"What are all these people doing here?" Paige asked as she, Penny, and Robin made their way towards the group.

"Oh, they're not just people." Robin told her. "They're witches. With a few whitelighters thrown in."

"I don't suppose any of them know how to open a time portal, do they?" Paige asked.

"Anything's possible when you free your mind." Penny replied as they passed a magicked brush pained designs on a witch in a bikini. "It's why we're gathering here tonight, for a magical Be-In."

"Oh, like a human be-in." Paige said. "When Timothy Leary said, 'Tune in, turn on, drop out'."

"No, there's no acid allowed in the manor, Paige." Penny told her seriously as she walked towards the whitelighters. "We're all on a contact high."

"I'm not on drugs." Paige said as she and Robin followed Penny. "I'm just having a bad trip."

"How do you know what's gonna happen at the human be-in?" Robin asked. "It's tomorrow at Golden Gate Park."

"I just kind of know things." Paige replied. "Like I know I wanna go home."

"Do you have an active power?" Penny asked.

"Yeah." Paige replied. "I can orb."

"Groovy." Penny told her happily. "Hey, everyone! We have a witch here who can orb!"

This caught Leo's attention and he made his way over.

"Right on." He said. "Lay some orbs on us, sister."

"Fine, if it'll help me get out of here." Paige agreed.

She looked around the room and saw a stack of 8-track tapes next to a player.

"Uh, big fat tape thingy." She called, but nothing happened. "Oh. My powers must be down. Must be the past." She quickly covered. "Past few minutes. This patchouli oil. It's really making me light-headed."

"Performance anxiety." Leo said, moving to wrap his arm around Paige. "Listen, if you want some private coaching, there's an empty room upstairs. You dig?"

"Aah." Paige said, weirded out. "No, I don't dig."

She removed his arm from her and pushed him away. He smiled and moved on to the next witch.

"You okay, honey?" Penny said, glaring after Leo.

"Yeah." Paige said. "Ugh, I don't know how I'm gonna get home without my magic."

"Oh, come on." Penny said as a guitar began to play.

She turned Paige around and they saw that a witch was sitting on a floating cushion as she played in the center of the room.

"Wow!" Paige marveled. "I've never seen so many witched just hanging out."

"Wait till the magical be-in." Penny told her. "This house was built on a spiritual nexus. We're gonna tap into its power tonight and ride the magic wave."

"Are you sure you're Penny Halliwell?" Paige asked, glancing at her.

Suddenly, the whole room froze and a warlock appeared next to Robin, who was the only one still moving.

"Everything on schedule for tonight?" he asked her.

"They're lining up like lambs to the slaughter." She confirmed.

"Ah, it's gonna be a massacre." The warlock said, inhaling deeply.

"Mm, I wish we could take 'em out now." Robin complained. "I can't stand these peace lovers."

"Just keep it together a little while longer." He told her. "We want this place packed." He turned and saw Paige. "And I see a few new arrivals since my last visit. This one's dressed a little strange, don't you think? Where's she from?"

"I don't know." Robin replied. "She just got here."

"Well, keep an eye on her." He ordered. "The attack takes place on schedule tonight. And if you need anything, I'll be close by."

The warlock left and time resumed.

"So, what do you say, Paige?" Penny asked, not noticing the time stop. "Join us tonight?"

"You know, as much as I consider myself a free spirit, I really can't." Paige said, sighing. "If there's any way that you could help me write a spell so I can find my way-"

Outside, a car horn beeped loudly and Paige broke off as Penny gasped and smiled brightly.

"Oh, Allen's back!" she said, rushing out of the house.

The man, Allen, hurried out of a VW bus and ran up the front steps, straight towards Penny.

"Hi!" Penny called, laughing.

"Oh…mm…" Allen murmured as Penny jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissed him soundly.

"Where's Patty?" she asked as he set her down.

"I dropped her off at my sister's." Allen told her. "She's gonna crash there tonight."

"Patty, like 'mom' Patty?" Paige asked, having to quickly cover again. "I mean, you're a mom."

Penny laughed as Allen stared at Paige.

"Janice?" he asked.

"Excuse me?" Paige asked.

"I just came back from my sister's pad, and for a second, I thought I was looking at her again." Allen told her.

"Paige, this is my old man Allen." Penny told her. "He's not a witch, but he's cool with it."

"Allen…your first husband?" Paige asked, surprised.

"My first and only." Penny said, laughing slightly. "I'm not that into free love."

"Listen up." Allen said. "I passed this groovy drum circle on my way here. Who wants to check it out?"

"Count me in." Penny said.

"I think I'm gonna do some light reading." Paige said. "Is your Book of Shadows in the attic?"

"I swear, it's like you could be my sister." Allen said, still staring at her.

"Or your granddaughter, if you had a granddaughter, that is-" Paige said, muttering, "which you won't, unless I get home."

"You can't leave now." Robin said. "We need as many witches as possible tonight."

"She's right, Paige." Penny said. "Come with us. Who wants a ride in the Rainbow Bus?"

A/N: Sorry it's been so long, guys! Holidays are such a hectic time. Anyway, shereelouise60 gets a shout out for being the 50th reviewer, and FishluvsJasperCullen gets one for being the 60th. Congragulations, guys! So, for the next chapter, same deal, first to 70 gets a shout out! Let me know what you guys think!

Abbey