Disclaimer: Leave me alone you crazy people! They're not mine!

Ch. 39:

Phoebe walked into the bullpen of the Bay Mirror, bright-eyed and cheery.

"Good morning." She told Sophie as she approached. "Any phone calls?"

"Take your pick." Her assistant replied, standing up with a stack of phone messages in her hands. "You've got adulterers, cross-dressers, 34-year old virgins, and – oh, your nephew and niece."

Phoebe grabbed the stack of messages.

"Oh, Chris and Meredith called?" she asked.

"No, Meredith and Wyatt." Sophie replied. "Um, actually, I think Piper did the dialing. But, you have another nephew?"

"Um…no." Phoebe said quickly, turning to her office and backing away from her assistant. "Uh, but-but, you know, maybe someday I will, you know what I mean? Okay."

She quickly turned and headed into her office. Inside, she gasped when she saw Chris standing just beyond the doorway and Meredith laying on her couch with her arm thrown over her eyes. She sighed and closed the door.

"Phoebe, I need your help." Chris said without preamble.

"I have been calling for you all week." She told them, dropping her bag next to the couch. "Didn't either of you hear me?"

"I don't have sensing abilities." Meredith told her, not moving her hand. "I don't hear it if you call me."

"I heard you for the first couple of days, yeah." Chris said. "Then I put you on mute."

"You could put me on mute?" Phoebe asked, surprised.

"I had to." Chris replied. "We were busy. Now, I need your help."

"I'm just crashing on your couch." Meredith added.

Phoebe moved behind her desk and took off her jacket.

"Oh, yeah, and I need yours, too." Phoebe told him. "Because you come here, you drop this bombshell on me, and you expect me to keep this secret and I don't even know why I'm keeping the secret."

"Nobody can find out Piper and Leo are my parents." Chris told her. "I can mess with the whole future."

"Yeah, well, if you didn't want anyone to know, I don't know why you told me." Phoebe told him.

"I told you because you busted me, and I'm glad you did." Chris admitted.

Phoebe turned away and started flipping through her messages.

"I have been so focused on protecting Wyatt, I have completely forgotten about me." Chris continued. "This month is my conception date."

"Your conception date?" Phoebe repeated.

"That's where we've been." Meredith groaned. "I swear, we have seen every oracle, seer, soothsayer, and fortune teller on this planet. If I have to listen to one for clairvoyant talk about conception dates, I swear I'll kill someone."

"Despite Meredith's dramatics, they all gave us the same answer." Chris said. "If mom and dad don't screw this month, I'm screwed."

Meredith grabbed one of the pillows off the couch and whipped it at his head.

"Stop. Putting. It. Like. That. You twisted freak." She ordered. "The last thing I want in my brain is a picture of your parents creating you."

She shuddered and Chris sighed, throwing the pillow back at her. Phoebe, meanwhile, scrunched up her face.

"Okay, I'm just trying to get used to you being my nephew." She told him.

She paused as a thought hit her.

"Uh – " she hesitated. "I never hit on you, did I?"

Meredith covered her face with the pillow and groaned into it.

"What?" Chris exclaimed. "No!"

"Oh, thank god." Phoebe sighed.

"Can we focus here, please?" Chris asked. "Mom and dad need to have sex. Now, who's gonna tell 'em, you or me?"

"No." Phoebe replied. "Nobody's gonna tell them because we're not gonna reopen those wounds."

Chris went quite as he turned around. He walked back to the couch and sat on the arm rest, next to Meredith's head. She removed the pillow from her face and reached up to take his hand. Finally, he sighed and looked back up at Phoebe.

"Okay." He said. "So how do we get them back together?"

"No, 'we' – 'we'?" she said, waving her arms between them. "There is no 'we' here. 'We' don't. You're the one that split them up." She stared at him. "And why did you split them up?"

"Leo had to become an Elder to make room for me as your Whitelighter." Chris replied. "It was the only way I could protect Wyatt from turning evil."

"You're unbelievable." Phoebe told him. "I mean, most kids who are the cause of their parents' divorce actually feel guilty, and yet, you're sitting here like it's part of your master plan."

"I'm sensing some real issues here." Chris said.

Meredith reached up and punched him in the leg.

"Oh, you're damn right there are issues." Phoebe told him angrily. "You can't just pop in from the future and play with people's lives because your big brother picked on you."

Chris surged to his feet and Meredith sat up quickly, reaching for his hand, but missing it as he moved away from her.

"He picked on the world, Phoebe!" Chris shot back, just as angry. "He killed my daughter! Your great niece. Or doesn't that mean anything to you? You do realize that by my being your nephew and Jenny being my daughter, that means that Wyatt slaughtered his own flesh and blood. Your flesh and blood."

Meredith stood up and quickly grabbed Chris' hand, holding it tightly and leaning into his arm as Phoebe sat down heavily.

"It doesn't change the fact that your parents were happy until you split them up." Phoebe told him. "And now you want my help because you didn't think this all the way through?"

They all were silent for a moment.

"Feel better?" Chris asked her.

"Yes." Phoebe replied. "You?"

"Yeah." He answered. "Will you help me?"

"No." Phoebe said.

She hesitated for a second and then sighed.

"Oh, I don't know." She told him, covering her eyes with her hands.

"If I'm not conceived in the next couple weeks, I'll disappear forever." Chris told her.

Phoebe looked up at him and he sighed, looking down at a letter in her tray.

"You're willing to help complete strangers." He said. "How about family?"

He picked the letter up and held it out to her. She grabbed the letter from him and froze as a premonition hit her.

A woman was screaming…

No, no, no, no, no, no! Please!

A demon stood in front of her, laughing. He fired a green bullet of light at her and she fell to her knees as he laughed maniacally.

"What is it?" Chris asked as she returned to the present. "What'd you see?"

"A woman being attacked." Phoebe replied.

"Where?" Meredith asked.

Phoebe glanced down at the letter.

Phoebe led Meredith and Chris into a cave in the middle of a desert.

"Looks like a dig site." Phoebe said, looking around.

"In a desert in the middle east." Chris pointed out. "You sure your scrying wasn't off?"

"Maybe Jinny is an archaeologist." Phoebe suggested.

"Yeah." Chris replied. "Why would an archaeologist in the middle east send a letter to an advice columnist in San Francisco?"

"She said she was with a controlling man." Phoebe said.

"Okay, totally missing the point, but nice try." Meredith told her. "Chris was trying to point out that this might be a trap. Which I happen to agree with."

They looked around and Chris spotted a small roped off area around a set of bones being excavated.

"Hey, what's that?" he asked, bending over to look at them.

"Ouzgal!" came a shout from behind them, accompanied by the sound of a sword being unsheathed. "Mordeh shooret!"

Phoebe and Meredith turned to see two men coming at them. Meredith sent a bolt of lightning at one of them, while Phoebe threw a potion at the other. Both went up in flames.

"Do you think anyone heard them?" Chris asked.

"This is us you're talking about, remember?" Meredith replied. "Of course they heard them."

From the doorway came a green blast, hitting Chris in the shoulder. Phoebe turned and saw the demon from her vision as Meredith ran to Chris' side. The demon was riding on a flying carpet and as he passed some scaffolding, Chris motioned, using his power to bring it and the cave wall down on top the demon. The carpet stopped and, surprised, the demon dropped the object he was carrying.

A bottle.

"NO!" he yelled as it fell.

Phoebe threw a potion on the ground just under the magic carpet. It sent a white cloud of smoke rising up to the air and the carpet reared around. The demon growled at Phoebe as he rode out of the cave.

"You okay?" Phoebe asked, running over to Meredith and Chris.

"Who cares?" Meredith replied, staring after the demon. "Was that a flying carpet? I want one!"

"Thanks for the sympathy." Chris told her dryly. "And the last thing we need is for you to have is a flying carpet."

"Oh, come on." She whined.

Ignoring them, Phoebe looked around.

"What is that?" she asked, spotting the object that had fallen.

She walked over and picked the bottle up. She brushed aside the dirt from the bottle, rubbing it clean. A stream of pinkish smoke shot out of the bottle, a whirlwind that finally manifested into the girl from her vision, Jinny.

"Thank you for responding to my letter." Jinny told her.

"Wait." Phoebe said. "Are you Jinny?"

"At your service, Master." Jinny replied, smiling.

Phoebe grimaced and looked at Chris and Meredith.

"Ah, crap." Meredith muttered.

A/N: Let me know what you guys think! REVIEW!

Abbey