Things were never quite the same at the McDonald-Venturi house after Nora learned of her daughter's affair with Paulie. It wasn't disgust or loathing that took hold of the family, but complete shock. Whoever expected Casey, with her color-coded folders, and neat, compartmentalized way of living to ever break the boundaries and rules by falling in love with a girl?
Edwin's eyes widened and nearly fell out, it seemed, when Casey made the announcement. Marti didn't seem to care one way or the other. Lizzie's face twisted into an odd mask of emotions—shock and sadness.
Only Derek seemed to be the angriest of the whole family, amber eyes burning holes into its targets; they'd stopped fighting, and it was killing him. Paulie had stolen Casey from him, and instead of being viewed as the occasional good guy who elicited the most fire from her, Derek was reduced to the label of annoying brother.
He wasn't her fucking brother.
Something had to give, and he sure as shit wasn't gonna lose to a girl.
Derek didn't have a plan yet, but somehow, somehow he'd win Casey McDonald back.
Mark his words.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Casey had taken to coming over to Paulie's since the family knew the truth; there was less privacy now. Nora gave her that withering look every time she mentioned going to her place, but there was really nothing to say about the situation; Casey was going to do what she wanted with the girl.
Afternoon romps were common, but not all the pair liked to do. Sometimes they would simply read in the same room together, and nothing needed to be said.
Like right now, for example—Casey watched Paulie as she read a Bronte novel, unaware of anything happening around her. It was times like this when Casey understood why she liked the girl so much; no one else became so involved in a book.
She untangled herself from her yoga position and tiptoed to Paulie's side. The girl didn't even flinch.
"Boo!"
Suddenly the petite girl was all angles, arms and legs as she shot up ten feet in the air and screamed, well, like a girl. She was still shaking away the jitters of being startled as she glared at Casey, informing her of how mean that act was.
Casey plopped backwards onto the bed gracefully, arching an eyebrow of suggestion.
"Hm," Paulie said, a cocky smile sweeping across her face. She sauntered over to her dancer's physique and the romp began.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Derek didn't have time to think about his plan to win Casey back. Because on a certain Friday night, at a party Casey was most certainly at, everything went straight to hell.
The music was loud, swirling up around him, welcoming him in, taking him to the punch bowl that was most certainly not filled of punch, and possessing his hand to take a cup. He saw some people from school, some people from around town, and even a hobo or two. But his heart stopped when he saw Casey. Attached by their hands, Paulie followed.
He scowled, then took a second red cup. It burned as it went down his throat, but he needed the edge taken off, needed the anger quelled before he did something stupid. There were already three blondes circling him like sharks, touching his arm, cooing words of nonsense, and yet he couldn't take his eyes off that damn stepsister of his.
The story starts to get fuzzy after the third cup, but Derek remembers shouting and the telltale sound of a fist mashing against bone. It's a scene Casey is involved in, that much he knows, but Derek is far too gone to stop it.
Then he sees her, walking toward him, hair sweeping across her face as she reaches for another drink.
She's oddly pretty like that, quiet and subdued.
"She's mad," the girl slurs, "Why does Paulie have to get into fights like my idiot stepbrother?"
They leave the party, taking three or four more drinks with them, forcing them back as they engage in drunken conversation. Derek doesn't think he's seen her drink this much before.
Casey leans her head against the window in the car, trying to ignore the echoes of Paulie's anger-filled departure. "Do you hate her, Derek? Or do you hate that I like a girl?" she asks, before thinking about her.
Derek regards her carefully. "I don't hate her, Casey. Or that you're with a girl. Paulie can be cool…" The girl beside him stares skeptically. "…When she's not with you."
"What?" Casey asks in a quiet voice, fully understanding the implications behind those words and yet not believing it.
"When I see her with you…it's not just jealousy. It hurts, Casey. It physically hurts, because I know it's more acceptable to the family for you to date a girl than your own stepbrother. And when I watch you together, it's…I can't help but feel like that could be us."
Casey feels like a bucket of ice-cold water has hit her. She doesn't know what to think, what to do. She just knows what she wants to do.
Derek doesn't know who does it first, but one minute they're talking about how much they hate each other and the next they're kissing, frantically grabbing at each other, needing contact with their counterpart's skin.
This is bad. I can't do this to Paulie, I can't. This is so wrong. Casey thinks.
I need to stop, I need to stop, I need to stop, It chants like a mantra in his head, but he can't stop, because one little part of him knows he's destroying what he's wanted to all along.
Casey stops his hands from going any further up her shirt, trying not to hyperventilate. "I'm sorry, Derek, I can't. I can't do this to Paulie. I'll call Emily. I can't believe—"
She doesn't bother to finish the sentence, just bolts out the door, leaving Derek alone with his thoughts.
When Casey wakes up the next day, and remembers what happened, the panic suffocates her. She feels sick, enough that she doesn't leave her room for the rest of the weekend.
She just cheated on Paulie. With her stepbrother.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Paulie is more than a little nervous when Casey doesn't call her for two days. She's been waiting by the phone, and every time she calls, her mother answers, more exasperated than the last time she answered.
Something's wrong. She can feel it.
On Monday, Casey goes to school. And Paulie smiles at her, but it's a little forced. She sees the black circles around her eyes, and that gnawing feeling in her stomach intensifies. Casey doesn't even say goodbye, she just turns around and heads to class like she hadn't seen Paulie at all.
It's not until the end of the day that Paulie sees her again, and her stare is just as empty and blank as it was during their first meeting. When she finally says something, it comes out as a choked whisper. "I need to talk to you."
They take a walk down to the park, where a trail leads them away from visitors.
"Okay, Case," Paulie says, wringing her hands, "What's going on?"
With that simple question, Casey promptly bursts into tears.
She wipes her tears away fiercely, and stares at the ground while she talks.
"I got really, really drunk Friday night."
"Is this about that fight? It's really not that big of a deal, I mean nothing happened…"
Casey just looks up, sniffling. "Derek got really, really drunk too, Pauls." She's getting weepy again and it's hard to get the words out.
Paulie's body suddenly turns cold, and she already knows what Casey is going to say.
"It's not like we meant for it to happen, we were arguing and yelling and being stupid and then somehow we started kissing and I stopped it before it went too far but I'm so, so, sorry…"
It's odd, Paulie thinks, when you want to take someone into your arms and comfort them, but you want to slap them at the same time. She neglects to do both. By this point she is comfortably numb, and she can tell Casey what she needs to hear.
"I think you need to go home and get some sleep. And when you wake up, you should make an appointment with a counselor. When you've worked that out, then we can deal with us, okay?" Paulie says this in eerie calm, like it really doesn't bother her that Casey is falling to pieces and her stepbrother is the cause of this whole mess.
"I'm going to go home and do some homework." She says gently.
Casey hates that Paulie didn't get mad. She deserves it. She deserves it for ripping out her heart like that.
But Paulie knows Casey better than she thinks, and knows that the girl will be harder on herself than she ever could be. No matter how angry she is, Paulie can't drag Casey further down than she already is. She just can't. Because she loves her.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
She keeps her anger in check until she sees Derek after hunting him down at Smellie Nellie's. An invisible force rams her chest and leaves a hole, and the pain is so great she nearly cries out.
"You." It's a guttural tone, something raw, that rips from her mouth. Derek looks up, paling.
"How could you do that? What, getting all the girls wasn't enough for you, Derek? You had to take her from me too? Do you hate me that much? Do you?" Words spill out, hysteria stringing the sentences together, and she takes steps with every breath.
"It wasn't like that! I don't hate you Paulie, honest."
Paulie's surprised to see how guilty he looks. He's a good actor, she lies to herself.
"Sure it wasn't, Derek! You pride yourself on getting all the girls, so what, you decided to go after the one who wouldn't ever fall for you?"
It's suddenly quiet.
Because it's quite obvious Casey has fallen for him.
Paulie was just second best. She leaves before he can see her cry.
The break up is instigated by a single phone call, in the comfort of her room.
"Case, we're done." Her tone is strong, empowered, like she isn't really falling apart on the other end, fighting back tears.
"I know." Casey whispers.
There's no talk of being friends, no talk of the future. It's simply an end. Her mother allows her to go to another school, one without Casey and Derek and the reminders of what used to be.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
She sees them, two months later, when the pain has dissolved to a duller ache and she can get through the day without thinking of Casey every second.
Casey's wide smile falters a bit when she sees Paulie.
A familiar stab in Paulie's chest begins to throb. She plays it off. "Hey," she says coolly, while picking a box of wheat crackers off the shelf. She doesn't even like wheat crackers.
Casey still has that fake smile on her face. "So, um, what have you been up to?"
Paulie looks at her, eyes locked with the sapphires she loved so much. "Come on, Case. Don't try that small talk shit with me, you know I hate it."
Derek interjects, loping down the aisle with marshmallow fluff in his hand, held up high victoriously. "Told ya I'd find it, Space Case." He looks at her the way Paulie used to, with that sense of wonder and want, something Casey always seemed to elicit.
Paulie is all too aware of the bruise on his neck and the way their hands fit together.
He doesn't see her at first, because Casey can do that to a girl. Or a guy. He opens his mouth to greet her but Paulie interjects.
"Gonna go." She gives some half-assed wave as she walks out the door, abandoning the grocery shopping altogether.
Casey goes after her.
"Paulie! I'm sorry. You have no idea."
If this was a dream, Casey would take her in, and kiss her senseless. If this was a dream, Casey would say I love you.
It's not. It's reality.