So this chapter took me awhile to write. Kurt kinda "came out" earlier than I planned him to in this story and in a completely different setting. My own characters betrayed me…Because of that I had to rethink this whole chapter and what I wanted out of it. Also they weren't supposed to find out Kurt sang at least like that. Oh well they still don't know how well he can sing so I'll let that one go.
If anyone reads my website for this you'll already know this but for those of you who don't I want to let you know one of my M.O when it comes to stories, I don't want anyone saying they weren't warned haha:
Somebody almost always dies. No matter how hard I try, one of my OC's die.
With that said, it seems I'm keeping it true for this story as well. Somebody will die. I know who already and no, I won't share. I already wrote the death scene and it made me sad.
Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I do want to answer a few things.
dwelian: Why Kurt drove will be explained in this chapter but the simple answer is: He isn't supposed to! I'm glad somebody else caught that. I originally had the reason in the last chapter but took it out since it seemed a little forced, so its explained in this one.
Purpleerana: I keep saying the same thing, can Klaine happen soon haha. I may be writing this story but the characters totally control it.
PencilLootz: there will be at least one more confrontation; I already have the scene written, if not more, between Kurt and his tormentors.
Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! I really hope you enjoy the chapter. P.S this chapter is not Beta'd. She's unable to beta for me at the moment.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee just OC's or 'A boy like that' from West Side Story.
'When love comes so strong
There is no right or wrong
Your love is your life'
"We'll be right there." Was all he heard before nothing. She hung up on him.
He clicked the phone off and looked helplessly up at the rest of the group. Nikel moved first reaching out to feel Kurt's pulse.
"It's really quick for someone passed out." He commented, pulling his hand away. He turned to Loretta, "Go to my car and get my coat so we can lay him down."
She huffed but left to do it. Zach was already shrugging his coat off and folding it to make a pillow. When Loretta came back they laid him on Nikel's coat with Zach's.
"So…what the fuck just happened?" Loretta asked, while they all sat around the unconscious boy waiting for his other friends to get there. They honestly had no idea what to do in this situation though the idea that they probably should've taken him to a hospital came up.
"Well Loretta, obviously Kurt had a panic attack caused by seeing that douchebag inside and without his meds it became so severe he passed out. Apparently his post-traumatic stress disorder got the best of him." Zach said, glaring at the girl in front of him.
Everybody else just stared at him like he grew a second head. Oh…he said too much again.
"H-He-he's on medication?" Blaine sounded shocked, looking down at the boy, "Wait, what do you mean by post-traumatic stress disorder?"
"That's for Kurt to tell you, not this bozo." Santana walked towards them, Brittany moving in front of her to reach Kurt.
"Dolphin? Wake up dolphin?" Brittany looked really distressed, tears in her eyes, "He's not waking up Santana, he's not waking up again."
"Dolphin?" Loretta asked.
"Yeah Dolphins are just gay sharks."
"And Kurt's gay so you call him that?"
"Do we really need to discuss this right now?" Santana snapped, "Come on, pick him up. We need to take him to the hospital. I'm sure his therapist needs to see him."
'Therapist' Nikel mouthed to Zach who just shrugged.
"No. No hospital." Kurt groaned, not opening his eyes.
Brittany squealed leaning down to wrap her arms around Kurt's neck, "You're awake! You're awake, you're awake, you're awake."
"Britt…let go."
She didn't, if anything she squeezed harder, "No. If I let go you might disappear and I'll never see you again."
Kurt sighed and let her hold onto him as long as she wanted.
Santana, however, grumbled under her breath before gently grabbing Brittany's arm and pulled her away from the boy. He continued to lie on the ground, his eyes closed, trying to center himself.
"We need to take to you to the hospital, Kurt."
"No."
"This isn't up for debate. You need to see a doctor, get your meds changed, something. This…this isn't healthy."
"They'll put me in a psych ward." He growled, clenching his fists. The boys around him stared at Kurt shocked, "Dr. Baumer wants to put in the recommendation."
Santana looked startled for a moment before frowning. "Fucking bitch," She grumbled, "Fine, no hospital. Well what do you suggest? You can't exactly go home like this and my parents are home and you know what happened the last time you can over."
Santana's parents weren't exactly tolerant or opened minded. Her mother just yelled a lot in Hispanic as Santana brought him upstairs. It really didn't sound good. It was also why Santana refused to acknowledge her feeling for Brittany.
Before he could ask she continued, "And Brittany's family isn't home so she's staying at my house."
"My parents don't let me stay home alone anymore." Brittany added, with a nod.
Kurt squinted his eyes open, his head was pounding and he was cold. He tried hard to stay focused on the conversation to make sure his memories stayed away. Even though sometimes when Brittany talked it just gave him more of a headache. This was going to be one of those times. His eyes slipped closed again.
"We can take him to Sammy's." Everybody turned to look at Zach, who shrugged, "What? His family lives like 10 minutes away from here."
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Nikel asked, biting his lip. He looked over an extremely pale Kurt Hummel; he really didn't want to scare Sammy's parents.
"I'll call Sammy and ask." Blaine announced trying to find something to do.
"I'll call Burt. He likes me." Santana smirked, pulling out her phone as well. Kurt wanted to snort, no he didn't. "Oh wait, on second thought Brittany call Burt and repeat exactly what I say."
She nodded and took the phone, "Mr. Hummel, its Brittany. Hey we ran into Kurt at Breadstix and Santana and I want him to sleep over. He didn't want to call you because he thought you'd say no but I told him you wouldn't. He can right? He has to help me tell my cat that it is not okay to smoke in the house."
Santana rolled her eyes as Brittany ad-libbed at the end.
"Okay thank you, Mr. Hummel. I'm sure my cat will thank you too when he doesn't get lung cancer. Kurt can stay over!" she squealed, hanging up.
"Sammy says we can come over."
"So Kurt isn't coming to your house?" Brittany looked at Santana, her eyes wide.
"No, Brittany we were lying to Burt."
"So who's going to tell Lord Tubbington not to smoke in the house?"
"I will." Santana replied.
"Oh okay."
"Give me directions to Sammy's house." Santana ordered standing up, "I'll stop at Hummel's and get some of Kurt's shit. I'll just tell Burt I dropped Brittany and him off back to my house already because of her cat issues. Trust me, when it comes to Brittany, he'll believe me."
"What do we do with Kurt's vehicle?"
Santana raised an eyebrow, as if realizing it was Kurt's vehicle they were standing next to, before looking at Kurt, "You're not supposed to be driving when taking all those meds, how did you manage that? Nevermind, I already know, stupid gullible Finn. I can't believe that idiot let you drive. I am so going Lima Heights on his ass."
"Finn's at Pucks. Needs car." Kurt mumbled, starting to drift off. He was exhausted, panic attacks always exhausted him.
Santana rolled her eyes, "Fine new plan. Blondie," She pointed to Zach, "You'll follow me in Kurt's car to Pucks. We'll drop off the car and you'll hop in with Britt and me. You both will hide while I go into Kurt's house to get his stuff and you'll direct me to this Sammy's house. Got it?"
Everybody nodded.
It took Nikel and Zach to get Kurt up and into Nikel's vehicle as Kurt was too shaky still to stand properly. Loretta claimed she couldn't go to Sammy's and took her car to go home. Zach, Santana and Brittany took off to go do their task, leaving Nikel and Blaine to take Kurt to Sammy's.
Blaine glanced back at Kurt from the passenger seat while Nikel drove. He was so very, very pale and he would randomly shake, twitch. He looked like he was asleep, but Blaine couldn't be sure.
Nikel glanced at him as well in the rearview mirror, "What the hell happened to him?"
Blaine knew he wasn't talking about tonight, "I don't know. You heard him didn't you? He asked me not to kill him. I faced bullying at my old school too but never…"
"Don't think about it." Blaine looked up at the raw emotion in Nikel's voice.
"Nikel? Are you okay?"
"When I look at Kurt…sometimes I see…" He sighed, "I see Nathan, at least how Nathan was the last few week he…he was alive. He'd flinch sometimes, get real quiet. He was one of my best friends, Blaine. Zach, him and I were really close and we didn't see it. And Gabriel and Sammy…god."
"Nikel."
He glanced away from the road to look at Blaine, "Sorry. So uh, have you ever been to Sammy's?"
"No, I just know Sammy pretty much lives there. Rarely stays at Daltons, because he feels bad leaving his parents alone."
"Just, um, don't mention to Sammy's parents about Kurt's bullying. They still haven't really accepted Nathan's gone and try not to stare at the pictures. If we see them we'll just say Kurt fell or something. You explained the situation to Sammy right?"
Blaine nodded, "Kind of, I told him Kurt had another panic attack and looked pretty rough and we didn't want to worry his parents."
They pulled up to Sammy's two-story house. It was a nice tan color and had shrubbery all around it. Sammy was already waiting at the door, probably seeing their car pull up. Blaine and Nikel jumped out and Nikel picked Kurt up bridal style. The boy was obvious asleep.
"Wow he is really pale." Sammy commented as they walked inside.
"And light." Nikel mumbled, frowning.
They walked through the kitchen and living room to a door that went downstairs, "We'll go to my room. My parents are upstairs."
They followed him down to the basement and laid Kurt on Sammy's bed. Sammy went into the bathroom and came back with a warm rag they put on Kurt's forehead.
"Zach will be here soon with some of Kurt's things. Two of his friends were going to get it." Blaine said just for something to break the silence.
"So what happened anyways?" Sammy asked, opening up a mini-fridge.
Blaine raised an eyebrow at the beer he pulled out but didn't say anything, "Some homophobe was giving us crap at dinner. I guess he caused problems for Kurt before because he ran out and when we followed, starting crying and screaming. He finally passed out. Zach said he has post-traumatic stress disorder."
Sammy didn't seem shocked that Kurt was apparently gay. He just sat down on the floor leaning against the bed and glanced up to see Kurt's face, scrunched up like he was about to awake. Before he could say anything a beep interrupted him. Blaine glanced at his phone, "Zach's almost here. I'll head up and grab him."
"I'll come with you. I want to ask that Santana girl something."
Sammy watched them go and with that he was left alone with Kurt.
"I'm guessing this is your room." Sammy looked back towards Kurt to see him looking at him with drowsy eyes, but Sammy could see the uncertainty, the fear, behind them.
"Yeah, how ya feeling?"
"Like I ran into a wall." He slowly sat up and looked around him. He flinched when he saw himself in the mirror. He was unbelievably pale and his hair was sticking up everywhere. Ugh, gross.
"Like your worlds shaking but there's nothing to hold onto so you just wait for it to fall apart."
Kurt turned to look at Sammy who was staring straight ahead, taking a swig of beer, "How did you-"
"That's how I felt when Nathan died. Everybody has their demons, Kurt, it's just how do you want to control them. My parents pretend that any day now Nathan will walk through that door and everything will go back to normal. I slowly drown myself. How do you handle your demons Kurt?"
They heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and Zach whining to Nikel about something. Blaine was telling them both to shut up.
"I run." He replied, collapsing back onto the bed.
The boys reached the bottom of the steps and Zach immediately bounded over to the bed, plopped down right next to Kurt causing the bed to shake, "We brought you items!"
"Stop shaking the bed, I'm going to get sick." Kurt moaned, sitting back up.
He took the bag from Zach and started shifting through it. He scowled when he saw the clothes Santana grabbed for him. It was what he used to wear: skinny jeans, a nice white shirt and a black vest, the little bitch. She knew he didn't wear that kind of stuff anymore. At least the pajamas were what could be considered normal.
"Kurt." Kurt looked up to see Nikel hovering near the bed. Blaine beside him, "Can we talk about what happened tonight?"
Kurt sighed and ran a hand over his face, "I don't know where to start or what to say."
Zach snorted and leaned up against the headboard. Nikel took a seat on the floor in front of Sammy and Blaine sat on the end of the bed.
"Maybe you should start with talking in your normal tone."
Kurt shot Zach a dirty look before blowing out a puff of air sharply. He opened his mouth a few times only to close it.
"Do we need to play 5 questions again?" Zach asked, smirking.
He rolled his eyes, "No Zach. With this many people it'd take forever."
Nikel blinked, surprised "Kurt, your voice is-"
"High, I know. It's my natural tone. I took to a lower register to…keep attention off myself."
"It's beautiful." Blaine breathed out too low for Kurt to hear. Sammy turned and raised an eyebrow though.
They were quiet for a moment before Blaine hesitantly put his hand on Kurt's leg, "You don't have to explain everything to us; we just want to understand."
"Right," Kurt looked up at the ceiling, "I use to go to McKinley High. I was in the glee club and we're considered the lowest of the low. We were teased daily. On top of that I was tormented for…being gay." It was the first time Kurt actually confirmed what the jock said to them tonight, "It hit a boiling point about a month before I came to Dalton and I ended up at the hospital. Sometimes the memories become too much and what you saw tonight happens."
"That's what happened to you that morning too, wasn't it?" Sammy asked quietly.
Kurt nodded. He finally looked at Blaine to see tears in his eyes, "Why did you run when you found out about me?"
Kurt felt tears fill his own eyes, "Don't you see Blaine. I use to be out and proud, but there's a difference. People talk to you, smile at you, they want to be your friend and they know! They know you're gay and it doesn't matter to them. They hug you and pat your back, while all the guys I know won't touch me unless they have to. Apparently gay is contagious and none of them want to turn into a freak. How can you be so popular, Blaine? That's not how it works. Not in the real world."
His breathing started to pick up and Kurt could feel himself falling into another panic attack.
"Kurt-"
"NO!" Kurt cried, "How does being gay get you the lead spot on the warblers, all these friends, all these people who look up to you when all it got me was tortured. Beaten so badly I was unconscious for three days." He looked at Blaine was such tortured eyes, it almost took his breath away, "Guys jump to your defense when they think somebody is giving you a hard time for being gay while people pretended not to see or hear when someone did something or said something to me. You got rewards; I got stabbed."
'We don't need to worry about you trying to cop a peek at our junk in the shower. Trying to turn all us normal boys into fags like you. Now we'll make sure of it.'
Putting one hand to his heaving chest, he dug into his bag and grabbed a pill bottle. Without saying another word he jumped off the bed and all but ran to the bathroom slamming the door behind him.
The others all looked at each other as they heard running water. Zach grabbed Kurt's bag and looked into the familiar medical bag with all his pills, "Oh he took the Seredyn bottle."
"Why did he take the whole bottle with him? He'll be okay, right?" Sammy asked, sounding worried. He kept his eyes on the bathroom door.
"I'm sure he will be." Zach replied, with a shrug, "The pills are for his panic attacks."
They were quiet for a moment. Each one going over what just happened.
"When Kurt said stabbed do you- do you think he meant literally?" Blaine voice was nearly a whisper. He was picking at the comforter, still deep in thought.
"I hope not." Was all Zach said.
"Can I talk to Kurt for a moment?" Nikel asked looking at the others.
Sammy sighed and stood up, "Sure. Blaine, Zach, let's get some food."
Nikel waited until they went upstairs before heading to the bathroom door and knocking softly, "Kurt? Can I come in?"
There was a moment of hesitation before a quiet "sure."
Twisting the knob, Nikel opened the bathroom door to find Kurt sitting on the ledge of the bathtub, staring at the floor, rolling the bottle of pills in his hand. His breathing calmed quite a bit, but he was still abnormally pale. Nikel closed the door behind and leaned against the door.
He didn't say anything at first, just looked Kurt over. He spoke just as Kurt was about to question why he was there.
"I wish you could've met Nathan."
Kurt blinked, confused, "Nathan?"
"Sammy's older brother. He would've been 19 in a couple of months, but instead he died a week before he was supposed to turn 17. Because he killed himself. You see, he came to Dalton for the same reason you and Blaine did, to escape bullies. His parents liked the school so much they sent Sammy as well. Everybody liked him; in fact, he was actually one of the soloists for the Warblers."
Kurt continued to stare at the floor, but stopped playing with the bottle of pills. Nikel had his full attention.
"During his Junior year, Nathan started pulling away. Nothing major, just little things like he'd spend a lot of time in his room after Warbler practice instead of hanging out with us. He wouldn't take his boyfriend outside of Dalton on dates. He started flinching at loud noises, but laughed it off like he was just surprised. One day he didn't show up to Warbler practice. Sammy, who was a sophomore at the time, left practice to look for him."
Nikel stopped to take a shaky breath before letting it out slowly, "Sammy found him hanging from his dorm room ceiling."
Kurt let out a gasp, "It wasn't until after he died we found the emails some of his old classmates had sent him, all their hateful word. Apparent little 'meet ups' they had with him at the mall and terrifying phone calls. He took the coward's way out and it just destroyed Sammy. Did you know Sammy was supposed to be a senior this year? He turns 18 in May, but after Nathan's death his parents pulled him out of school for the rest of the year to…recover. He was the only one who received a note from Nathan after his death.
"Now Sammy's parents, well...his parents refuse to acknowledge his death. They live in this fantasy world, Sammy turned into an alcoholic, Zach turned really clinging and Gabriel became an ass."
"Gabriel? He was friends with you guys as well?" The egoistical prick was the unspoken tone.
Nikel caught Kurt's eyes and gave him a sad smile, "Nathan was his boyfriend.
A knock on the door interrupted them, "We brought food if you want to come out now. Or we'll just eat it all. And you can STARVE!"
Nikel rolled his eyes, "Zach doesn't deal well with somber moods. It's best to indulge him."
He opened up the door and pushed Zach back, "Don't be such a fat-ass, Zach, share with the rest."
He turned back towards Kurt, "Come out when you're ready."
"Zach, drop that cookie!"
Kurt sat in the bathroom a little longer trying to absorb Nikel's words. Why did he tell him all that?
"Hey." Kurt looked up to see Blaine in the doorway looking unsure, "We're going to put in a movie. Either Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone or Shrek 2, any preference?"
"Harry Potter."
"Harry Potter wins!" Blaine yelled behind him before turning to Kurt with a grin, "Zach's outvoted again." He held out his hand, "Come on."
Grabbing it he let the shorter boy pull him back into Sammy's room and to the bed. Sammy was in front of the bed leaning against it while Nikel and Zach were lying on the floor next to each other, Zach complaining how nobody ever wanted to watch his favorite movies. Nikel rolled his eyes and lightly cuffed Zach on the back of the head.
Blaine pulled Kurt over to the bed and they both laid down on their stomachs side by side with just a few inches between them facing the T.V.
As the movie played, one by one the boys fell asleep until it was only Kurt and Blaine left. Kurt had his head down barely watching the movie anymore.
"Kurt?"
"Yeah Blaine?"
"Did you mean what you said earlier?"
"Every word."
Blaine was quiet again and just as Kurt was about to drift off Blaine spoke, "Even about…about being stabbed?"
Kurt froze, focusing very hard to will away the memory, "Some of kids at my school…well, hated me for what I am. They beat me, they stabbed me and they left me for dead."
He spared a glance up at Blaine who was looking at him with tears in his eyes, "I'm so sorry, Kurt." He whispered.
"I owe Santana and Brittany my life."
Blaine didn't say anything, he just laid completely down on the bed and lightly touched Kurt's arm. When he didn't pull back, he tightened his grip a bit and pulled Kurt closer so they were lying side by side touching. He, very lightly, wrapped his arms around him. Kurt stiffened for a brief moment before relaxing. He had to remind himself Blaine wouldn't hurt him. With that he drifted off to sleep.
"Kurt!"
He couldn't even open his eyes to see who was there.
"Brittany, call an ambulance." A sharp voice growled as he felt a hand against his good wrist for a second while another pressed into his stomach. Who's Brittany? He felt he should know. There were murmurs for a few brief moments, before a gentle hand began to pet his shoulder while another grabbed his hand, "Everyone always pets my hair to make me feel better, but I know you hate people touching your hair so I'll pet your shoulder. " A soft voice whispered over the dull ringing, "Plus I like your baby soft hands."
He lost consciousness yet again, while someone hummed softly next to him.
Kurt woke up to giggling. Honest to god, giggling. He looked up to see Zach standing over him holding his phone out. It took Kurt a second to figure out he was still wrapped up in Blaine's arms…and Zach was taking a picture. He jumped up –waking Blaine in the process- and went to grab the phone out of Zach's hand.
"Oh no, you don't! You two look so damn adorable!" Zach fake-gushed, pocketing his phone.
"Why are you shouting so early in the morning?" Blaine groaned, sitting up.
"Zach was taking pictures of you guys sleeping. Don't even bother trying to get them deleted. Zach's probably resaved like 10 copies." Nikel stood next to Sammy who was shaking his head.
"You all suck." Blaine grumbled, getting up. He was still in yesterday's clothing but didn't have anything to change into.
"And you look like you're doing the walk of shame." Zach teased.
"You don't have a change of clothes either so wouldn't you be too?"
"Can't walk of shame when you're proud of it!"
"Z, you're proud of everything you do, good or bad." Nikel interjected.
"Damn straight!"
They just laughed. Kurt bit his lip, "I should probably go home before my dad gets worried."
"Go change and we'll head out." Nikel agreed.
Kurt grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom. Wrinkling his nose, he slowly put on the clothes and looked at himself in the mirror. Even without his hair styled, he could see bits of his old self in the mirror. He wanted to throw up.
"Fag"
"Next thing you know you'll be wearing tight pants"
"Kurt? You've been in there for a while now. Are you okay?"
Kurt shook out of his memories and quickly took his medication before walking out the bathroom. He was met with stunned silence. Everybody was gaping at him.
"Damn, Kurt, you look hot! Nice pants, wanna fuck?" Kurt stared at Zach with wide eyes, "Dude, I'm joking, but you do look awesome."
Nikel rolled his eyes, "Oh come on, let's go." He headed up the stairs.
"I'm sorry, Nike, I promise you're the hottest of them all. Don't leave me behind!" Zach yelled bolting up the stairs after his best friend. Kurt refrained from rolling his eyes, the boy wasn't very subtle.
The rest headed upstairs as well. Once at the door, Kurt turned to Sammy, "Thank you, for everything."
"See you at school tomorrow, Kurt."
The drive home was a loud one with Zach singing along to every song on the radio then complaining when nobody would join in. Nikel shook his head, but indulged his stupid friend. Kurt and Blaine sat in back in silence. They kept glancing at each other though, giving a small smile when their eyes met.
Kurt directed them to his house and got out.
"Thank you as well. For listening and well…not freaking out."
"See you bright and early tomorrow Kurt!" Zach smiled.
"Actually I have…uh therapy session so I won't be there until lunch." He mumbled, embarrassed.
"Oh, will you tell your doctor what happened yesterday?"
Kurt looked conflicted, "Yeah, I suppose. Bye now."
He slammed the door to the car and walked into his house. The three boys watched him go before Nikel carefully backed out of the driveway.
"You know," Zach said, a thoughtful expression on his face, "He has a nice ass in those jeans."
Nikel and Blaine groaned, "Zach really?"
"You know sometimes I think you're gay."
Zach grinned, "You're just jealous because I'm awesome. You had the same thought but I'm just cool enough to say it."
"Okay, wonder boy, I'm so kicking your ass in Call of Duty when we get back. We'll see how awesome you are then."
"Whatever, you'll be kissing my ass, Nike."
Blaine ignored the two in the front seat, looking behind him to see Kurt's house fade away with the distance. He really did like Kurt and Zach was right. Kurt looked amazing in those jeans.
Well that's all for now, people. We're heading into Klaine territory now. We'll also be meeting Allina, Sammy's girlfriend next chapter, and a confrontation with Gabriel.
Now I have a bit of dilemma. I originally planned to have a chapter that is a flashback to what happened to Kurt. Now I'm thinking that it will never be fully revealed besides only what is seen in Kurt's memories to allow my readers to draw some of their own conclusions. Which would you prefer?