Disclaimer: Priest and its characters belong to Scott Stewart.

Claimer: I own Tessa.

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WARNING: This chapter contains mature content.

Chapter #5: Goodbye

He returned to the complex to discover she was waiting for him, having barely touched his fist to her door before it was opening. She stared up at him with wide, anxious eyes, and for a second he debated on whether or not to lie to her—say he was merely going on a simple hunt—but he couldn't. She deserved to know the truth. He stepped into her apartment when she moved aside to give him passage, and the door shut behind them with a soft click. The smell of the candles instantly flooded his senses with a comforting aroma, and he took a moment to close his eyes and inhale a calming breath before turning to face her.

"They want us to hunt down the queen. We'll be heading to Sola Mira at dawn."

He was taken aback when her eyes almost instantly began to glisten, her face tightening as she tried to hold back her tears. She turned her face away with closed eyes, features taut.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stunned at her tears.

"I don't want you to go," she whispered.

He stared at her. "I have to—"

"I know." She made an attempt at a calming inhale. "I'm just terrified you'll…" She trailed off, unable to say the next words.

He was watching her with a mixture of bewilderment and disbelief, at a complete loss for words. This was not something he had been prepared for. Her tears had come as a complete shock to him. He'd been trained in many fields, but emotional women was not one of them. It was obvious she dreaded the thought of him leaving, but what as to why he didn't know. No one had ever shed a tear for him before, so why was she?

"Why do you care about me so much?" he asked finally, unable to fend off his curiosity any longer.

"Honestly?" Looking up, she shook her head. "I don't know. I barely know anything about you. I haven't felt anything towards a man since my last relationship, which ended over three years ago…" She released a quaking sigh. "You know what it is? It's that you're the first man I've met who hasn't tried pushing me into anything. You like me for me, and even though you think you can't have me you stick around. I'm not a toy to you. You see me as a human being rather than someone you can get a good night out of and then leave me flat like a used tissue."

It was true. He saw her as everything he was never able to be, and now that she had said it he was realizing it himself. They were friends, he knew, but now he saw it was more than that. Much more. To him she was his healer—his peace—the gentle touch he now craved and looked forward to every time he saw her. She was the hand that kept him from toppling backwards into his own darkness. Her smile was the light the city lacked, and in her eyes the hope he had let go of long ago.

"Whoever it was that treated you in such a way is a fool," he said at last, shocked at the boldness of his words.

The look in her eyes was incredible. He had never seen such raw emotion in his life.

"Stay here tonight," she said. "Please. I need you to stay."

He nodded, realizing he wanted to stay just as much, if not more. She threw her arms around his neck, face burying itself in his shoulder, and he held her back gently.

"Let me give you a massage," she whispered. "It would do you good to be as loose as possible."

He didn't refuse. His eyes remained closed as her hands glided over him, savoring her touch to the fullest. The part he loved the most was when she gently ran the backs of her nails down his back. It took all he had in him not to fall asleep to her touch. As she gently traced her fingertips over the scar on his shoulder, his muscles twitched under her touch, and then there was a small shift in the mattress before a strange sensation. It wasn't until she did it a second time that he realized it was her lips. Opening his eyes a sliver, he looked over his shoulder at her to see she was kissing his back lightly. The feeling of her soft lips against his skin was alien, as she touched them to each of his scars, counting them slowly. He didn't interrupt her, remaining completely still as she gradually made her way up his back and to the scar on his shoulder. She continued down his body, keeping a slow, soothing pace as her soft lips counted each scar and bruise with gentle intent. Once she had reached the waistline of his pants, she had counted nine in total on his back alone, and that number didn't include the various bruises. A feeling he had never experienced before stirred within him at the sensation of her lips on the old wounds, but it wasn't unwelcomed.

His body was completely relaxed at this point, as she made her way down his form. It thrilled her how much trust she had gained from him. Touching him still felt so unreal. She forced back a smile as she very slowly trailed her lips up the line of his back, and she heard him release a quiet sigh. When she reached the base of his neck, she placed one last kiss between his shoulders before finally looking back at his face. When she lifted her eyes to his, she saw he was watching her with a softened gaze, and that something lingered in his eyes only she was aware of.

"What's your name?" she whispered.

His eyebrows drew together slightly.

"I know I have no right to ask…"

He was silent for a long moment. When he spoke, it was so quiet she barely heard him. "Julian."

Julian. His name was Julian. She said it softly to herself, smiling at how it sounded rolling off her tongue. "Julian. I like that."

He watched her for a moment before rolling over and sitting up so he was facing her. A soft smile graced her features, but he could tell she was saddened. Her dismay at his departure would be something he would never come to understand for as long as he lived, but what she did next was the icing on the cake. Something about her eyes changed, as her hand came up to caress his cheek, and the next thing he knew she was pulling him into a gentle kiss. All he had time to do was widen his eyes before she was pulling away from him, the same calm, fond smile playing her lips. He was left utterly speechless, his mind suddenly taking on a horrible lag. All he could to was stare at her with slightly widened eyes, in a state of disbelief.

"I never saw any written rules saying you're not allowed to kiss." She smiled, but it was halfhearted. "I thought I'd give you one for good luck."

He didn't say anything, still at a complete loss for words. But then again, some situations were better off without speech. Shock was scrawled all over his face, but his eyes told a bit of a different story, and without really realizing it he leaned back towards her a tiny fraction before stopping. His hesitation nearly caused her to smile, and without any uncertainty on her part she moved in. Their mouths reconnected, and she brought her arms up to wrap around his shoulders as she slowly guided him. Before he knew it, he was returning the kiss fervently, his arms coming to wrap themselves tightly around her waist. He wasn't quite sure how long they remained connected, but all he knew was that it was over much too soon for his liking when she broke away for air. He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes tightly shut. He wasn't sure why his body trembled, but when she brought her hands to gently hold his face, shushing him softly, it acted as an instant balm to his nerves.

"Shhh…" She ran her thumb over his cheek. "It's okay," she whispered.

He released a slightly shaky exhale.

"Kill as many of those bastards as you can," she said, voice low. "No matter what happens, I will see you again. If you don't return, I will find you… in life or in death."

Lifting his head from hers, he met her eyes, and she could see the anxiety in his stare—something she had never seen in him before. At that moment he looked so vulnerable to her. Her eyes shifted down briefly, and then she reached back to unclasp the silver medallion necklace around her neck. He was confused when she reached for him, but he made no objection as she clasped it around his neck.

"This necklace belonged to my great grandfather. It will bring you luck."

He instantly went to refuse at hearing this. "No. No, I can't take this, Tessa—"

"Please, Julian."

He fell quiet, eyes burrowing into hers.

"It's a gift," she said. "I want you to have it."

Once again at a loss for words, he eyes drilled into hers, hoping she could understand what he was feeling at that very moment. No one had ever given him anything. Absentmindedly, his hand moved towards the pendant, feeling its flat, smooth, slightly dented surface between his fingers. It was still warm from sitting against her breasts, and for a moment his mind ventured towards tremendously forbidden grounds. Deep down, in his darkest core, he wanted to experience her—more than just her hands and lips. He wanted all of her. He wanted to know what it felt like to be wrapped in her arms—how her bare skin would feel against his….

"What are you thinking about?"

His eyes immediately evaded hers, shame washing over him like a black flood. "Forgive me."

She frowned. "What are you talking about? Forgive you for what?"

"I…" He paused, trying to collect his words. When he found he couldn't think of a way to convey his words without sounding offensive, he just shook his head.

"Oh, I see."

His eyes returned to hers to see she was smiling at him knowingly, and was that amusement he saw in her eyes?

"Priest or not, you're still a man, Julian. I can't get angry with you for being curious… especially with the life you live."

He watched as she smiled before taking his hand in hers and squeezing gently, her other hand lifting to cup his cheek. It was alight in his eyes like a neon sign. He wanted her, and she wanted him, but she knew he would never make the first move. Not only did he fear the consequences, but he respected her. It was then she made the decision, and although it hardly felt real it felt right.

"If you want to… I won't refuse you," she said at last.

His eyes fell.

"If there's one thing I've learned in life," she began softly, "it's that if something feels right… it's never wrong."

His eyes shifted back to hers.

"I won't pressure you into anything," she continued, keeping her voice calm and soothing. "I will understand if you say no, but just let me say this." She nodded towards the door. "That 'go against the Church, you go against God' babble is bull. You can still love and worship God without the Church, Julian. Always remember that. You'd still be a priest without the Church, and you wouldn't be condemned for allowing yourself to enjoy the simple pleasures of making love before possibly walking to your death to defend the lives of God's children. If God is all everyone says Him to be, He will show leniency when it is deserved."

He didn't respond, eyes searching hers silently. She merely stared back at him with those large green eyes, and for the briefest moment he felt transfixed by the intensity of her gaze. Her eyes shifted down fleetingly, before her hand took a hold of his. Blinking, he broke her stare to glance at their hands, and then back up at her as she took a step back, pulling him up with her. To his own surprise, he held her gaze as he stood before her. Her eyes were hypnotizing. As much as his inner self screamed at him to refuse, he just couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. No one had ever harnessed the incredible effect she had on him. It was like she had him under some sort of spell, and the fact she was here now…. The fact she had gotten to know him at her own will knowing it could get her trouble….

"Tessa..." His voice was low but soft.

She only continued to stare, but a blink was his cue to continue.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, unable to restrain himself from asking.

She just smiled at him. She had one of her hands on his shoulder while the other cupped his face. His body was stiff, knowing what was coming but being unable to respond to the loud commands his brain was sending him. He could only watch her, eyes darting to different areas of her soft face. For some reason, he didn't refuse her advances. With gentle eyes, her face slowly drew closer to his as he stared down at her, his eyelids drooping slightly when their noses brushed. She watched his face closely a moment, but he seemed to be studying her just as intently. Then, after another moment, she slid her hands over his shoulders and up his neck, before she pressed her lips to his in a gentle but passionate kiss.

Having braced himself, he allowed his eyes to close, and he began to return her motions, miming her. He moved his mouth against hers, his actions measured and deliberate. He relaxed a little, allowing his lips and tongue do some experimenting as his hands came to rest on her waist, and she responded by running her fingers through his hair and deepening the kiss. His tongue gently grazed hers, and her other hand moved to slide up his back.

His body was lean and muscular, and he could feel her counting each scar under her fingertips. When she moaned softly against his lips, he guessed she was enjoying what he was doing and relaxed, and his hands slid up her back. She must have felt his body loosen up, because she deepened the kiss, and in reply he ran his hands up her curvaceous sides. This gentle exploration lasted for another few minutes before she had to break apart for air, and they found each other gazing deeply into one another's eyes, arms still around each another. Shadows danced along the walls and ceiling from the candles' flames, as their aromas filled the room with a tranquil aroma. He didn't even notice. He was too focused on what was happening. The radiance from the candles made Tessa's skin glow like a pink pearl, her green eyes sparkling. Her cheeks were a rosy shade of pink, her skin like porcelain…. She was a priceless treasure, and she had chosen him of all people. Neither said a word as they stared into each other's eyes, both lost in a daze. It was wrong… but it just felt so right.

He leaned into her, but he didn't kiss her right away. He just hovered his lips over hers for a moment, eyes half-lidded and boring deep into hers as his breath tickled her skin. Then, he closed the small gap between them, and their mouths met again, choosing to ignore the consequences that were sure to come. Their kissing was fervent, but she was taking it slow. She suddenly took a step forward, and he stepped backwards until the foot of the bed hit the back of his legs. Breaking apart for a split second, he looked over his shoulder and down at the bed, caution in his eyes. Her hands on his shoulders, however, caused him to look back down at her. No words were spoken. Her eyes were tender, and, without a word, he allowed her to gently push him down on the soft sheets by his shoulders. He felt his back lightly hit the comforter, and his eyes shifted up to meet hers with a hint of uncertainty. The indecision in him rose when she loomed over him after he scooted back. Then suddenly, he bucked in surprise when she rubbed her hand over him through his pants, and she let her hand rest there before shifting her eyes up to his.

"Can I?" she asked quietly.

Although it was vague, he nodded, and her fingers unsnapped the button before slowly pulling down the zipper. He missed how her eyes glanced to him, too intent on watching her hands, and it was then he realized he was trembling very faintly.

"Do you want me to stop?"

His eyes met hers, the conflict in his gaze clear as day, so she paused in her actions in undressing him and instead loomed over him. Her hand caressed his face, her eyes soft.

"Shhh…" Leaning down, she kissed his forehead where the cross intersected. "If this were casual sex, it could be considered a sin, but that's not what this is. This is simply two people making love and showing their gratitude towards one another. If love is a sin… then I guess I'm going to Hell."

He stared up at her for a long moment before his lips parted. "You must be an angel. How else would I feel so assured?" he whispered.

She smiled softly and kissed him before resuming. With a comforting smile, she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his pants and pulled. He arched his hips a little so she could pull them down until he was able to kick them off. He was a little tense, and he realized he was actually worried she would be disappointed. On the other hand, she was calm as ever, and it was her composure and gentle smile that helped him relax. Once he was fully undressed, she stood at the foot of the bed and crossed her arms at the hem of her shirt. In one smooth lift, her shirt was pulled over her head, revealing a black lace, perfectly-fitting bra. Every move she made held flawless grace, but his eyes averted to the side when he saw her hands move behind her back to unclasp the hooks of her bra.

"You can look at me," he heard her soft voice say.

Hesitantly, he shifted his eyes back to her, and he knew he had never laid eyes on anything more beautiful. He gazed upon her smooth, curvaceous body, transfixed. There was no way this is happening to him. Slowly, she climbed onto the bed with him and straddled his waist. He swallowed, unable to draw his stare away from what was before him. He hardly knew what to think, as his eyes scanned the goddess before him. She hovered above him, her eyes loving and tender. Her hair draped over her creamy shoulders in dark rivers, her plump, full lips begging to be kissed. Skin gently tanned, light freckles speckled her flesh like tiny kisses from the sun. She was beautiful.

His breath caught in his throat when her lips lowered to his and closed his eyes. Her mouth gently covered his, and his brain shut down. He felt her hands slide up his arms, where she softly pinned his hands to the comforter above his head, her fingers interlocking with his. This was the first time he had ever been touched so lovingly, her hands like feathers and her lips of rose petals. When the two drew apart this time, he was looking up at her with half-lidded eyes, and his breathing had quickened a little, but not because he was out of breath. He couldn't describe what he was feeling at that moment.

She then began the task of kissing, licking, and gently, but firmly, nipping along his collarbone, moving up and down at just the right speed; not too slow or too fast. Closing his eyes, he clenched his teeth slightly, as a low moan emitted from his throat. Her smile could be felt against his neck, as she widened her kisses, licking and kissing at his throat. Willfully, his head arched back to give her better access as she teased the sensitive skin. It amazed him how such simple touch could activate a sensation as strong as this. She then proceeded to make the journey back up to his face to capture his lips, and her mouth covered his again in a passionate kiss. Eagerly, he returned the favor, unable to hold back as she teased his mouth with hers. He felt one of her hands snake up his stomach, and he gasped while arching slightly as they began roaming over his muscular body.

She began a path of small, tender kisses from his shoulder down to his midsection, and he stiffened a little, but after a while he grew to like it and released a soft sigh, eyes closed. He never wanted her to stop. It felt… great. Suddenly, he gasped when her hips ground against him, but she silenced him by bringing him into another kiss. It stayed like that for a little while longer, when she became aware of how aroused he was. Breaking away, she met his eyes, and he averted her gaze, clearly embarrassed. He heard her chuckle softly.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's supposed to happen."

He looked up at her.

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

He paused, realizing his answer. "I trust you," he whispered.

She smiled, and then proceeded to slide her hand down his stomach towards his lower abdomen. He was beyond the point of restless now, but he couldn't seem to fight the strange urges overtaking him. Her hand reached down between them, and he felt her gently curl her fingers around him. The next thing he knew they were becoming one.

A gasp left his lips, eyes widening a fraction as she slowly guided him into her. It was the most incredible thing he'd ever felt, as her warmth surrounded him, swallowing him whole. He felt like he'd died and was coming back to life again, all common sense disappearing as he felt the in and out motion in their movements. There was no turning back now, but to his own surprise he felt, not dishonor, but utter contentment, and as she gazed down at him with that devoted stare he knew there was nothing to fear.

She began to rock slowly on top of him, never removing her eyes from his. Her eyes bore deep into his, and for the life of him he couldn't bring himself to look away from her. He'd never seen such... desire. The way she stared down at him with such fierce intent lit him aflame, every slight move she made causing the nerves in his legs to tingle. The electric heat sparking within him was gradually intensifying, spreading from his core to the rest of his body, down his legs, and to his toes. Slowly it rose. Higher and higher it climbed, awakening each nerve with a vicious heat. At one point she had increased the speed of her movements, taking him a little faster, and he lay in blissful submission beneath her.

He could feel his heart pounding, and his chest rose and fell with each breath, which were gradually growing faster and more shallow. The sensation building up within him increased at a steady pace, growing more intense by the moment to the point where he was arching off the bed the slightest bit, head pressing back against the pillows. His hands were gripping her hips tightly, moving with her as she rocked steadily on top of him. Then all at once she dropped down and began kissing his neck, earning a gasp from him as her lips and tongue teased the highly stimulated nerves. It felt so good.

"Let it go, love," she whispered against his skin.

It was as if she had control over his body, because the next second it happened. She watched his face as it became too much, and he let out a heavily suppressed cry as his body gave beneath her. His head threw back against the pillows as an unbelievable pleasure took over his entire being. He felt himself shaking a little as it came in powerful surges, and he could feel Tessa's hands gliding over his chest, stomach, and sides. He never wanted it to end!

"That's it," she whispered sensually in his ear.

Finally, he slowly felt himself lower back to earth, panting and sweating. His chest heaved as he stared up at the ceiling, unable to believe what just happened. That had been… unbelievable. His breathing was deep but satisfied, and his body had taken on a thin sheet of sweat. She had stopped and was now slowly rubbing his stomach and sides with both her hands while he recovered, a loving smile playing on her lips. Eventually, he was able to look up at her. His vision gradually focused, and he saw she had a soft smile on her face as she stared down at him, green eyes warm and kind. It astonished him. A few stray waves fell past her shoulders, framing her heart-shaped face. Her cheeks were a bit rosy, and he noticed she felt very warm. He guessed that was normal. When she leaned down, he remained still when she touched her lips to his neck, gently kissing him.

No rapid, carnal actions were preformed after that. Only a gentle exploration engaged. Their lips moved together softly. His hands slid up her smooth pink pearl back. Hips swayed, still connected. It was like a beautiful dance, their bodies swaying with the rhythm of their most sensual parts. He continued to kiss her as he felt the unusually frantic beating of his heart starting to calm down, and he took her by surprise when he wrapped his arm around her back before slowly rolling them over so he was on top. His eyes never broke from hers, and her back made soft contact with the comforter. It showed in her eyes that she was a little surprised when he took over, but he said nothing as he dipped his head to kiss her neck, and then he moved. They saw nothing and felt everything, as he slowly pulled out and pushed back into her. A small mewl escaped her lips, and her hands came up to clutch at his back. One of her hands gripped the back of his head, and he turned his face to kiss her passionately, eyebrows knitting together.

Their movements were slow and unhurried as they swayed, both lost in their own worlds. At one point he broke from her lips and lowered his head to nuzzle the crook of her neck, pressing his cheek against hers. His steady breathing fell on her ears, his hot breath on her neck, and she moaned at the delightful sensations of him deep inside her. This was all so strange to him, but he was loving every second of it. He had his face buried in her neck, listening to her moans and small cries of pleasure as her hands groped at his back. He knew what sex was. This wasn't just intercourse… it was something more. Much more. He felt her arch and let out a small cry, her nails threatening to break his skin, but he didn't care.

"Julian," she whispered breathlessly.

An unexpected jolt coursed through his body at the sound of her desire-filled voice speaking his name. Her nails formed indents in his shoulders as he picked up speed, her moans having gradually increased in volume. If he kissed her neck or whispered her name, her legs and arms would tighten around him. His eyes never left her face, and he couldn't believe the amount of pure ecstasy he saw. Every sound she emitted sent a thrilling shock down his spine. Never before had he felt something so powerful.

"Julian, I'm coming," she breathed in his ear.

Her words sent shivers down his spine. Just when he thought he wouldn't be able to last much longer, her breath left her as she climaxed. She let out a high-pitched cry as her body shattered beneath him, her entire form shaking as she arched up into his body. Watching her face enchanted him more than anything he had ever seen, knowing it was him causing her pleasure. Knowing he was able to provoke such a sensation in her made his ego expand with dangerous pride, and he would have smiled, but just moments after she had finished his release arrived.

He rolled off her, panting and spent, as she shifted closer to him and laid her head down on his chest, snuggling against his side. His arm wrapped around her, holding her close as they both recovered. Her lips could be felt kissing his chest, and for a long, blissful moment he just lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Words couldn't describe the emotions raging through his system. He'd just broken his vow of celibacy. Normally he would have blanched at the thought of going against the Church, but Tessa had shown him an entirely new perspective. Not once did he feel immoral as they made love. Rather, he had felt at total peace, as she guided him through the complete lapse of ecstasy he had fallen into. The whole thing felt like a blur. He heard her let out a content sigh before shifting closer to him, and he leaned his head against hers.

"Thank you," he said.

She smiled, eyes closed. "My pleasure."

He stroked a hand down her smooth back, over the curve of her hip, and rested a moment against her scar. He had a wondering expression on his face, and she watched curiously as his eyebrows slowly drew together. "Why did you do this for me?"

The sudden question appeared to take her off guard. She didn't answer right away, and then lifted her hand to stroke his shoulder with her thumb. Popping herself up on her elbow, she surprised him when she tilted his head back and kissed him deeply on the mouth. "Because everyone deserves to feel loved." The stare he was giving her could have melted through a wall of iron. When she rested back down against him, he held her close, and she kissed his neck lovingly. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

Tessa wasn't sure how long they had been asleep. All she remembered was awakening to the feeling of a hand slowly rubbing her back. Releasing a soft sigh, she arched into his touch, and she felt his lips make soft contact with her forehead. Letting out a soft moan, her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him through a half lidded gaze. Upon seeing him looking down at her, she smiled sleepily, but it slowly fell as she realized he was fully dressed. He was leaving.

"It's nearly dawn," he said quietly. "I have to get going."

She stared up at him for a long minute, before she slowly sat up. Reaching up, she wordlessly took his face in her hands and pulled him into a deep kiss. He didn't refuse her, and she felt his hand gently caress her neck. He didn't pull away until she had her fill, but she finally did there were tears in her eyes. His face was softened as he lifted his hand and whisked away one of the droplets.

"If I return… maybe one day things will change… when the war ends." His eyes shifted to hers, and she knew immediately what he wanted to ask her.

"I'll wait for you." She took his hand in hers. "You'll always have me."

His eyes were unbelievable, and a distinct shine fell over them. He looked away, but she gently turned his face back to hers.

"Have no fear, love. Even if you find God is not with you, I will be." She tapped the medallion around his neck. "I will always find you… in life or in death. I promise."

What neither of them knew was that he was walking off to a fate far darker than death.

Changes have been made to this chapter such as grammatical corrections, dialogue changes, and altering of the love scene. Nothing too drastic.

Next chapter opens with our blue-eyed priest. After that there will be a time jump of five years. Then enter le favorite vampire. ;) How will Tessa react to him? Read and review to find out!