Disclaimer: Priest and its characters belong to Scott Stewart.

Claimer: I own Tessa.

Chapter #7: Damage Done

The pod burst as the vampire broke free, claws reaching for her as it snarled shrilly. She recoiled as the head burst through, fangs snapping in her face, before it fell from the pod to the floor in a slimy heap. She scooted back hastily, but when she went to reach for her swords she realized they were missing. Her head snapped back towards the vampire as it rolled over onto its feet. She had been training, but without her katanas she was practically defenseless, and she hadn't faced the real thing in years. Then right as it was going to lunge, the door to the basement flew open as someone kicked through it, and a second later someone was grabbing her and yanking her up. To both her confusion and relief, the vampire backed down with a growl, and it slunk away to another part of the basement as the arm secured around her waist held her protectively. She didn't have to look to know it was Julian, and she backed up with him as he lead her out of the basement, slamming the door shut behind them. She struggled against him, and he practically had to drag her to a different bedroom, the other not being an option because of the broken lock.

"It was you! How could you? You MURDERER!" she screamed at him. Both her legs left the floor at one point as she kicked wildly in the air, bucking back against him.

"ENOUGH!" he barked.

"THAT—WAS—A—VAMPIRE! YOU HAVE FUCKING VAMPIRES IN THE BASEMENT!"

"Would you calm down?!" he yelled.

With an exclamation of disgust, she managed to wriggle from his grip, and he let her go after he shut the door. She backed away hastily, nearly tripping over herself as she put as much distance between him and herself as she could. When she turned back to him, her eyes were wide with a mixture of horror, anger, and betrayal, and in one swift motion she pulled a dagger from her cleavage and held it up to him threateningly.

"What is wrong with you? You're supposed to be a man of God!"

"What good is being a man of God when God does not exist?"

"What?!"

"You thought I was dead, because I was. I was dragged to the hive's heart, where I was pinned and bitten over and over again. I crossed the brink between life and death, and do you know what I found? No God, no Heaven—no Hell! I found nothing."

She was gaping at him with amazed disbelief in her wide eyes. This was not Julian. This was not the man she knew. He was someone else—a dark twin. "That doesn't tell me why you are one of them! That doesn't tell me why you killed entire towns!"

"All this time we've been praying to an empty sky. When I prayed for death to be quick, I was given nothing but silence and agony. Then she came."

"Who?"

"The queen."

Her eyes widened.

"She gave me the mercy no one else would. She turned me into something that had never existed in this world," he continued.

As she stared at him, her voice was shaking as she whispered, "A human vampire…"

He motioned to her as if to say "exactly".

"And you accepted?" she exclaimed.

"I didn't have much of a choice, but I do not regret what's been done to me. This has been a gift."

"A gift? You're the very thing you used to hunt! You've been turned into a bloodsucking mutation by the bitch who set her army on the human race!"

He frowned. "The Church teaches us that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Because the vampire race evolved without eyes, it is believed to be a soulless creature." He took a step closer to her. "I have seen the soul of the vampire with my own eyes… and I have found that it is much more pure than that of any man."

She nodded, but her expression held incredulity. "You're insane."

His eyes darkened.

"You've gone completely batshit insane. Literally. I don't even know who you are!" she shouted.

"To you, I'm still the same."

"The hell you are! The man I knew was loyal, kind, considerate…. You've been killing people, Julian!"

His eyes darkened a couple notches. "Tessa." He tried to reach for her again, but she just backed away and held the dagger up.

"Don't come any closer."

"Stop this—"

"You traitor!"

"ENOUGH!" Hand shooting forward, he grabbed her wrist and knocked the dagger from her grip before grabbing her. She put up a brief struggle, but he was able to turn and shove her down onto the bed with little to no effort. He pinned her down as she struggled beneath him, fear flashing in her bright eyes as she fought to free herself from his grip. This wasn't how he had thought she would respond, and frankly he was a little shocked. She had always been so calm, and to see her so fearful of him was not a welcome change. "Stop it, Tessa! Calm down!"

"Don't hurt me!" she cried.

He paused. She was breathing heavily, breasts rising and falling with the motion, and her hair was slightly frazzled from the brief struggle. Her eyes were widened, looking much like a frightened doe that had been pounced by a tiger. Not an ounce of the love and kindness she had once looked upon him with could be seen in her fearful gaze.

"Tessa, I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly. "Please, just calm down." His golden eyes searched hers for a moment. "I'm going to release you. Just relax." Slowly, he loosened his grip on her wrists and backed off. She sat bolt upright instantly, scooting backwards on the bed until she could step off the opposite side so the bed was now separating them.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Tess. Will you just come sit down, so I can explain all this to you?"

"You... you've been killing people? Innocent men, women, and children? Please tell me you haven't been killing children, Julian," she breathed.

His eyes were solemn. "Tess..."

"Tell me!"

His shoulders slouched a bit with an exasperated sigh. "I can't do that, because I would be lying to you."

If she hadn't already appeared beyond horrified, she certainly did now. "No..." The word died as soon as it hit the air. "This isn't happening..."

"Tessa-"

"You stay away from me!" she snarled at him, her fear suddenly being replaced by spitting anger. "I don't know what that bitch's venom did to your brain, but you are not my Julian! You're a demon!"

"At least I'm not the one covered in slime."

"Seriously? At least I'm not the one with fangs in my mouth!"

He grabbed her by the arm and began leading her across the room. She was confused as he opened a door to reveal a bathroom that was built into the room. Pulling her forward, he pushed her in. "Clean yourself up. I'll be back in an hour." Before she could respond, he stepped back and slammed the door shut.

"Hey!" She banged on the door with an angry fist. "Let me out! Julian!"

"If you break that door down, I'm making you sleep in the basement," he said from behind the door. "Now take a damn bath. I'll get you some clean clothes."

"Julian! Wait!" She continued to call after him and bang her fists against the door for a few more minutes, kicking at the solid wood. It wasn't until her knuckles and toes were throbbing that she finally stopped and released a shout of frustration. Huffing, she turned towards the tub. The bathroom itself was lavish, she'd give it that. If there was anything good about her situation, it was that she had been kidnapped to a mansion. The downside was that there were vampires in the basement, and everyone else around here was either a bloodsucking mutation or a Familiar. Although she hated to admit it, Julian was right about one thing. She was filthy, and she needed a bath. After another few minutes of stubborn refusal, she finally stripped down and turned the water on before getting into the tub. Picking up the bar of soap, she began slowly rubbing it along her skin, lathering it in her hands and forcing herself to relax. It was scented like lilac, she realized, and without her control it brought back memories of the apartment. She had always had a lilac candle going, but she had stopped using them after she had learned of Julian's "death". All the smell did was bring back painful memories.

She hadn't realized she was crying until she saw a droplet fall into the water. Whimpering quietly, she lifted her hands and covered her face, her eyes stinging. She had been torn apart at finding out he would not be returning from the hunt. She had kept herself together as best she could for Priest's sake, but once he had left she had broken down into a fit of uncontrollable grief. For days, she had cried. She was forced to keep it all in while she was at work, and then she would spend her nights crying herself to sleep. She had loved him. It tortured her constantly for years thinking she would never see him again—thinking vampires had once again taken someone away from her—and they had. They had taken him away in the worst way possible. The man she had fallen so deeply for had been turned into the very thing that had caused her so much pain. It was the cruelest of jokes. He was alive, and he was with her, but he was fraudulent. His presence alone was a relentless taunt. He looked like Julian, smelled like Julian, and sounded like Julian, but he wasn't the same man. Not really. He had been taken from her, and there was nothing she could do, yet she couldn't hate him. She just couldn't—no matter how horrified she was at what he had done. But she couldn't be with him, either.

She sat in the tub as the water gradually cooled, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. Her body felt numb. Her mind, body, and soul had lost all feeling. He was a vampire. There was nothing she could do-nothing to reverse what's been done to him. Did he really believe what he had was a gift? Had his mind been so corrupted that he honestly didn't see the reality of his situation? His eyes had not displayed a single flake of remorse when he admitted the murders. Feeling nauseous, she closed her eyes and sunk a little further into the tub so the water reached just below her chin, and she released a shaky exhale. What was she supposed to do now?

Black Hat returned to the room roughly an hour later, clean clothes held on one arm. He unlocked the door and entered the bedroom, locking it again behind him, and trekked over to the door leading to the bathroom.

"Tessa." He knocked his knuckles against the wood. He didn't receive an answer and felt irritation beginning to bubble within him. He sighed. "If you don't answer me, I'm coming in."

No answer.

Sighing in annoyance, he brought the key up and unlocked the door. He stepped in without any further warning, before coming to an abrupt halt at the sight before him. She was completely submerged, and she wasn't moving.

"TESSA!" Dropping both the keys and the clothes, he rushed over. His arms plunged into the water, when suddenly she lurched to life in his arms.

"What the!" Startled, she pushed him away and retreated back into the water to hide in the frothy bubbles. "Julian, Jesus Christ!"

"I thought you were dead!" he snapped. He didn't mean to snarl at her, his heart still racing in his chest as he realized she hadn't been drowning.

"What? I was just wetting my hair!" She ducked a little further into the sudsy water, feeling highly uncomfortable as his eyes seared through her. "Please leave!"

He slammed the door shut behind him. Although he wasn't particularly sure why he was so anxious, he waited until she was decent, listening through the door intently to make sure she really wasn't trying anything. Eventually she emerged, and she was fixating him with the same cautious stare, but she wasn't anywhere near prepared for what he did next. Practically lunging at her, he grabbed her and pulled her into a constricting embrace. A small, frightened squeak escaped her, but before she could struggle against him his words stopped her short.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were trying to kill yourself..."

She didn't speak at first, too confused and in shock to move. At least she wasn't shoving him away or trying to kill him at the moment. What she didn't do was return his embrace, and a minute later she lifted her arms in attempt to gently pry away from him. Although he wanted nothing more than to keep her in his arms, there was no point in forcing her, so he released her. His eyes watched her closely as she backed up a few steps, still eyeing him with distrust and betrayal. He sighed.

"Please stop looking at me like that."

"I don't know how to look at you." And it broke her heart. "I don't trust you. I can't trust you. Do you really not understand why I'm so scared of you right now?"

"No, I don't," he said. "I know you don't understand why I've done the things I have, but you don't have to fear me, Tessa."

"You killed children! Children, Julian!"

"I'm trying to create a new world! You think I specifically hunt down children? I can't control who the vampires kill once they're released."

"Are you listening to yourself?! Who the hell do you think you are? Hitler?" she exclaimed.

He frowned at her.

"Just leave me alone!"

He growled. "Fine!" Releasing her, he retrieved the keys from the bathroom before striding from the room. The door nearly snapped off its hinges at how ferociously he slammed it shut, but at least he was gone. It wasn't until hours later that he returned again with food for her. She could feel his foul mood before even looking at him, which only encouraged her to keep her distance as he set the tray down on the desk.

Black Hat turned to face her, at a loss. He wanted her to snap out of whatever it was she was suddenly caught in. He hated the fact she was distancing herself from him even more than when she fought against and screamed at him. This was not the woman he knew. This woman was a distrusting, guarded clone of the one he had come to know. He did not know what had suddenly caused her to reject him, but he wasn't going to just let her slip away if there was something he could do about it. After setting the tray of food down on the nightstand, he attempted to approach her, but she just backed up again.

"Tessa, for the last time, you don't need to be scared."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You're keeping me locked up in this room like a prisoner!"

"Prisoner? I'm trying to protect you! I could have left you to be killed by the vampires with the rest of that miserable town!" he exclaimed.

"This wouldn't even be an issue if you hadn't attacked it in the first place!"

"Give me a break, Tess!"

"I sacrificed everything for you!" she shouted. "I gave you my time… healed you…. I let you into my world… into my soul! I gave you my trust—my body! And you've literally crumpled it into a giant ball and thrown it back in my face! Vampires killed nearly all the humans. They killed my family! They killed your brothers and sisters! And what do you do? You join them because you were scared!" Utter disgust dripped from her voice. "You've betrayed all of us! We cried, bled, and fought for you, and you join the enemy team?"

"They left me!" he snarled. "They didn't come for me! Not a single one of them dared to reenter that hive after I was dragged away! I was dead! I saw the afterlife, and there was NOTHING! So yes, I joined the queen. She chose to spare me! It was either her or nothing. Just darkness. No one was coming for me!"

She had nothing to say, but it was mostly because she didn't know what to say. All she could to was stare at him with the same look of disbelief. Deep down she wanted to empathize with him, knowing how terrifying it must have been to be in his position the night of his demise. But every time she wanted to sympathize with him, she could only think back on all the people he'd killed, and she shut down again.

"That's no excuse for murder. Maybe you had no choice when you were turned, but you had a choice when it came to what you did once you were released," she countered.

"I'm making a better world! You haven't seen the soul of a vampire. I have. You would see the world the same way I do if you had."

"What about babies? Are you telling me they are born evil and impure? Tell me, what sins did they commit that earned them their deaths when you exterminated those towns?" she spat.

He said nothing. She narrowed her eyes at him in contempt.

"You didn't see the soul of a vampire. You saw your own fear reflected back at you. That's what people do when they're scared. They see what they want to in order to make it less frightening—to make excuses for their own sins!"

He appeared nothing short of exasperated and angry, but he still did not say anything.

"What makes me so different?"

He looked back at her. "You are different."

"I'm no different than anyone else!" she exclaimed incredulously. "There are other people like me. I've sinned. Let me name some off, shall I? Let's see, I've had premarital sex, I've lied, I've envied others…. Oh, and I took a priest's virginity, which was also premarital. That one has got to be the icing on the cake."

He rolled his eyes at her words. "You might not understand now, Tessa, but you will."

Her eyes closed. "Julian... I'm sorry, but you clearly don't know me as well as you think you do."

"I wouldn't say that."

She paused, catching his tone. Her eyes narrowed when she could have sworn she saw a trace of self-satisfaction in his eyes. On reflex, she dove into the defensive. "If you're referring to our night together, don't flatter yourself. I did practically all the work."

"That didn't stop you from having a good time. I still have claw marks on my back."

Her outrage showed in her eyes clear as day. She couldn't believe his nerve! "Oh, please! It was your first time, and you were leaving to your death!"

"So?"

"So, I faked it, you moron!" It wasn't true, of course. Not a word of it. She just couldn't stifle the anger and nausea settling churning in her stomach as images of dead bodies and screams echoed in her head like a never ending horror clip. "Unlike men, women are capable of faking orgasms. I've had better, stud," she said bitterly.

She was a little shocked when she saw his eyes. If she didn't know better, she would have said he looked hurt. A long, pregnant silence drifted between them, and then he suddenly turned away. He left without a word, and when he didn't slam the door it hit her that her words had actually caused damage. Despite her anger, she felt guilt bubble deep within in her stomach, but she made no move to call after him. She thought long and hard after his departure, and she knew that she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.

Some changes have been made to this chapter, such as the removal of the attempted suicide scene. Tessa is a little more civil than she was previously. I've made her more timid and fearful of him rather than a hateful hellcat. I decided to keep in the strike at his skills in bed, as much as I feel terrible for doing so. Poor Julian. Tessa feels like she's been used, and it horrifies her she gave herself up to someone who would dare harm innocent children and babies. She gets over it, and she still apologizes later. Other than that, that's all the changes that were made to this chapter.

I feel bad for being so mean to him, but you gotta keep people in character! Next chapter in progress. Thank you for the reviews! It makes me so happy reading them. xoxo