Quinta Finestra: Cuore di Pioggia

"I like you."

The words came out all at once. No hesitation or shame could be guessed in the speaker's voice. Although it could be argued that the silver-haired boy was much more embarrassed than he let in, given how he wouldn't take his eyes off the floor.

The taller black-haired boy in front of him, blinked, perplexed. "Uh… I like you too, Gokudera. You're really cool and super smart! I've always wanted to be friends with you."

The smaller boy clenched his fists. "Not that kind of 'like', you moron!" He raised his face to glare at Yamamoto, his pale cheeks colored a deep red. "The kind of… you know… like when people hold hands or something."

An awkward moment of silence.

Yamamoto chuckled nervously. "Oh! Like that… Uh… I-I'm flattered but… you know? We're both guys so it's kind of... weird? Sorry."

Gokudera lowered his gaze and choked up a bit. "W-whatever. Not like I care!" He burst and dashed away from the scene as fast as he could, leaving a very confused Yamamoto behind.

Yamamoto had first met Gokudera Hayato at the age of ten. The Italian boy had transferred to his fourth grade class for unexplained reasons but never really made any friends. Even back then, he was really jumpy and had this unfriendly aura about him that kept people naturally away from him.

Yamamoto himself didn't pay much mind to Gokudera back then. The snarky boy would sit in the back of the classroom and take notes in silence all the time. He'd nap during lunch time and he always got the top scores in tests. He didn't join any club and never spoke to anyone. Some other kids tried to ask for his tutoring, but he'd just snap at them and tell them to fuck off.

With that given, it was a big surprise for Yamamoto to see the moody genius confess to him. He'd just turned eleven and their fifth year of elementary had barely started. Yamamoto had never been confessed to, but many girls gave him chocolates in Valentine's. He didn't quite know how he felt about the smaller kid, since they'd barely exchanged any word, although on second thought, he remembered seeing the Italian boy watching his baseball practices from afar.

Still, he didn't feel right about how he'd rejected the other boy. He'd been thinking on it over and over on the way home and decided that telling him his feelings were "weird" was really awful. Thus he decided he'd apologize first thing on Monday and maybe even try to become friends with the silver-haired kid.

But when Monday came Gokudera's seat was empty. When Yamamoto asked if he'd gone sick, the other kids simply told him that Gokudera had moved back to Italy.

Everything would've been fine and dandy, except that now Yamamoto couldn't take his mind off Gokudera. It occurred to him that maybe he shouldn't have rejected the boy like that. So okay, two guys holding hands sounded weird alright, but when he thought of Gokudera's angry blushing face he thought it was… cute? Or how he tied his hair up and put on a pair of glasses when he was studying and managed to look really pretty?

Okay, so maybe he'd been paying Gokudera more attention than he'd initially thought. By the time he graduated from elementary, he'd spend a considerable amount of time reminiscing how beautiful those fierce green eyes had looked up close. And when he realized this, he knew there was no going back.

"So today we have a new transfer student, he just arrived from Italy, so please everyone be nice with him."

Yamamoto's world seemed to come to a halt when he saw the silver haired teen in front of the class. It had barely been two years since they parted, yet Gokudera looked completely different and all the same at the same time. He was a lot more beautiful than Yamamoto remembered: his pale skin, clear green eyes, shiny silver hair… the baseball player was in a daze.

It was just his luck that the Italian boy was sent to sit beside him. This would be a perfect chance to apologize and start over. Maybe they could try to be friends and see where it went from there. Yamamoto was already fantasizing about it when the other teen reached his seat.

"Hey, Gokudera! Long time no see!" he called, grinning.

School ended and Gokudera left without ever replying.

That night, Yamamoto touched himself for the first time.

He imagined how it would feel to hold Gokudera's hand. To kiss him and hug him. To… touch him. He was already 14; he knew babies didn't come from cabbages. He wasn't quite sure of how it was supposed to work between two guys, but he imagined that, so long as it was Gokudera, it would definitely feel good. He imagined it was Gokudera touching him, and how he'd touch Gokudera in return. He thought of those bright green eyes glazed with desire staring at him, and how his milky skin would turn a deep shade of red. What kind of face would he make? Would he make any sounds?

When he thought of Gokudera calling his name in the throes of passion, it was over.

If things weren't bad enough with Gokudera ignoring him, the Italian boy also seemed to have become infatuated with another guy from their class. Sawada Tsunayoshi, he was called, and Yamamoto had always thought he was a weird but funny guy. At least until the object of his affection started tailing after him with puppy-dreamy eyes all-the-time, which caused Yamamoto's opinion about him to change drastically overnight.

And then Yamamoto broke his arm. His game had already been awful lately as it was, what with being distracted thinking of Gokudera, and now he also had a broken arm. Not only had Gokudera become unreachable, he'd probably be unable to play baseball in a long time –if not forever-. Clearly, living wasn't worth it anymore, so he climbed to the roof of the school and decided to put an end to his own misery.

There was something sort of embarrassing in being saved by Tsuna, mostly because it made him realize he couldn't hate such an honest and kind guy even if he was stealing Gokudera away from him. Many years later, Yamamoto would always feel awfully embarrassed when he recalled the situation and had to admit to being a very special kind of idiot for wanting to jump off a building over a little jealousy and a broken arm.

When Yamamoto and Tsuna landed safely on ground level with the help of Reborn's special bullet, Gokudera Hayato's heart -which had altogether stopped beating for three minutes straight upon seeing the familiar figure on the edge of the building- slowly regained a normal rhythm. When he was sure that person was uninjured, he fled the scene, hoping nobody had seen him there.

Things started to go substantially better since then. Tsuna seemed to be playing a mafia game with Gokudera and a funny baby, and they wanted him to play with them, which meant he could spend a lot of time with Gokudera. They also started walking home from school since they lived in the same direction, and often hung out at Tsuna's place to study (Gokudera was really smart as always, and tutored them both) or at his old man's restaurant. Yamamoto soon learned that Gokudera was struggling with money, so he invited him over for dinner all the time, to the Italian boy's dismay.

Then one day, people at Nami-Chuu had started to appear beaten up and injured and the baby had told them they had to put a stop to it. Even if it was dangerous and he ended up hurting his arm even further, Yamamoto was happy that he was able to fight along Gokudera and protect him.

When everything was over and they were sitting in a hospital room getting their injuries treated, Yamamoto decided this was his golden chance. Gokudera was acting more accepting towards him, and he even seemed to have grown a little fonder of him.

"Uhm… Gokudera?" he started, hesitantly. "Can we… talk?"

The silver-haired boy turned to look at him with a blank expression on his face, which prompted Yamamoto to continue.

"Ah… you know when we were kids and we were in the same class? That time you… you said you liked me?"

Yamamoto paused for a second when he noticed how the other boy seemed to freeze, his pupils shrinking into slits and his fingers tightening rigidly around the bed sheets.

"I… I was very mean back then. I said horrible things to you and hurt your feelings. I'm… really sorry. I know there's no excuse but I… I just wanted you to know how sorry I am and that I hope I can make it up to you someday. I… I really hope that Gokudera and I could… become friends."

"Friends" was actually an understatement of what he truly wanted, but he thought it would be best to take it as a starting point and work from there. It was already a miracle that Gokudera was willing to hear him out in spite of what had happened in the past, and he hoped he could slowly make his way back into the other boy's heart and get a second chance with him.

Gokudera looked up at Yamamoto scowling, with a light pink blush on his cheeks. "Hah? Are you so stupid to get hung up over something like that? Like I remember something that long ago, let alone care about it!"

Yamamoto smiled gleefully. By now, he'd known Gokudera long enough to know that at least, he'd earned forgiveness.

"Awesome! Let's go to my old man's after we get discharged, I'll treat you to a special meal to celebrate!" he chirped

"Idiot." Gokudera mumbled, turning his back to Yamamoto.

As he heard the other boy chuckle, Gokudera hoped against all hopes that the baseball idiot wouldn't hear the frantic beating of his heart, which threatened to burst out of his ribcage.

By the time Yamamoto realized this was most certainly not a mafia game, it was just a bit too late. He'd always sort of known, but he'd liked to fool himself into believing he didn't and that Gokudera throwing dynamite at people was totally normal, but he couldn't keep doing that when Superbi Squalo had been so close to actually killing him.

"You're gonna fight, aren't you?" he asked once Tsuna left, fiddling with the Rain Ring he'd just received and glancing at Gokudera.

The other boy didn't reply, but slid the ring into his finger with a determined look on his face. Yamamoto sighed and shrugged. He didn't need to think about this any deeper.

"Hey, Yamamoto? Your mom… what happened to her?"

The question was sudden and unexpected. As they walked together on the way to Takezushi, Gokudera's voice cut through the silence like a knife. Yamamoto took a moment to answer, it was a sensitive topic and not something he particularly liked reminiscing, but he thought if it was Gokudera, he could trust him with the truth.

"I don't really remember. I was very little when she passed away. My old man says she had a weak heart from the start. There was no helping it. My old man had it really tough."

He'd always been able to notice how hard his father struggled to split up between taking care of him and making sure they had food on the table. The old man was terrific, and Yamamoto knew he owed everything to him. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to pay him back, but he wanted to try at least.

"But Gokudera is awesome too. Being able to live on your own at this age… I'd never be able to do something like that!"

Gokudera was smoking. Yamamoto had noticed that the other boy did that a lot. He'd tried to talk him out of it ('it's bad for your health!') but it had always been a waste of time.

"It's not like I chose to be like this… I-I had no other choice… My father killed my mother… what was I even supposed to do?"

Yamamoto didn't know what to say. He stepped closer to the silver-headed boy and brushed their fingers together, comfortingly. Gokudera didn't say anything, but Yamamoto thought he felt him lean against him.

Gokudera was going to die.

No matter how much Yamamoto tried to convince himself otherwise, the image in front of his eyes was too powerful to be ignored. The building was blowing up in a matter of seconds and Gokudera was still there, wrestling for a stupid ring god damn it all. It was already bad enough that he'd been horribly injured throughout the fight and Yamamoto had cringed every time one of those knives cut through Gokudera's milky skin, but now he was seriously going to die if he didn't let go of that fucking ring.

Yamamoto felt like crying. His hands balled up in fists angrily. What had been the point of all that training if he couldn't protect what was most important? He'd already lost count of how many times he'd called Gokudera's names frantically, or thrown himself against the cage that kept him from saving the boy he loved and now he was stuck, completely powerless, watching him die.

BOOM. The machines went off and the screen's signal disappeared. Gokudera was gone.

Tsuna was screaming. Doctor Shamal and Bianchi too. But everything seemed kind of muted to Yamamoto. He couldn't save him. He couldn't do anything but stand there and watch. He couldn't even tell him how he really felt. He should've jumped from that building.

"I'm sorry… I-I wanted to see the fireworks again"

Gokudera was lying on the ground right in front of them, his body covered with cuts and bruises. Yamamoto suddenly remembered how to breathe and rushed to his side. The defeated boy grabbed onto his collar and forced himself to stand up, his gaze fixated on the ground and his breathing shaken and ragged.

"I'll… leave the rest to you" the whispered. "N-not like I trust you or anything, it's just that I have no other choice!" he pointed out quickly.

Yamamoto smiled. "Got it."

As Gokudera collapsed and the Cervello announced his upcoming match, Yamamoto's fists tightened once again. He would not disappoint Gokudera. They'd go to see the fireworks together again and he'd come clean about his feelings with no regrets.

Yamamoto took a deep breath and held on tightly to his sword. Today was the day. He'd been meditating in the dojo all day long, holding back the impulse to visit Gokudera at the hospital. He wasn't going to let down his friends who'd fought so bravely. Not Tsuna and definitely not Gokudera. He was going to win.

When he arrived at school he was surprised to see Gokudera leaning against the entrance. He was covered in bandages from head to toe and was using one crutch to keep himself steady. It hurt Yamamoto seeing him like this.

The silver-haired boy looked at him intently, with a deep scowl on his face.

"You have to win this."

"I will."

Gokudera tried to turn away and start walking but he only managed to trip with his own feet and he would've hit the ground face-first if Yamamoto hadn't caught him by the waist. He winced when the pain of his injuries resurfaced but managed to pull back some self-composure and stand up on his own feet.

"Gokudera?" Yamamoto whispered into the silver-head's ear, noticing how close to each other they were standing, his hand still resting gently on the smaller boy's hips.

The Italian boy shivered but gave no reply, instead waiting for Yamamoto to continue. The swordsman took a deep breath trying to fill his chest with courage. He felt he needed more of it for this than for the fight against Squalo.

"I… there's something really important I need to tell you before the fight. Would you… listen to what I have to say? Please?

Gokudera raised his face to meet his eyes. Yamamoto could briefly see bewilderment and a bit of worry in the other boy's emerald eyes, but it was soon replaced by a flush of anger.

"What are you saying now, talking like it's the last chance you'll ever have to say whatever crap you're thinking?! I'm not hearing any of it! Go there and win that fucking fight for the Tenth's sake and then I'll listen to you. Got it?! I don't want to know anything about it until you come back so don't you fucking talk like you're going to die!"

The ill-tempered boy squirmed free of Yamamoto's grasp and managed to take a few steps away from him without staggering too much. Yamamoto looked at him and smiled, then caught up to him in two long strides.

"It's a promise then." He said, extending his pinky towards Gokudera. "When I've won, I'll come back and you'll listen to what I have to say."

Gokudera stared at Yamamoto's pinky for a moment, his cheeks lightly flushed. He bit his lip and looked away as he laced his own finger with the Japanese boy's.

"W-whatever!"

Gokudera wasn't sure of how long it had been since he'd stopped breathing. The last five minutes, or the whole hour of the battle, he had no clue. But the moment he saw Yamamoto stepping out of the building, it seemed to him like he was breathing for the first time in ages.

The taller boy was limping and covered in blood. He managed to reach Gokudera and the others with a triumphant grin as he showed the Ring of the Rain proudly. The Italian boy allowed himself a tiny smile, forgetting for a moment about the pain in his body. Instants later, Yamamoto collapsed from blood loss.

It took a while to convince everyone that he was okay and that his wounds were not as terrible as they looked. Tsuna had been particularly reluctant to leave, but Reborn had finally dragged him out saying they all needed to be well-rested for tomorrow's Mist battle.

Which left only him and Gokudera in the room.

The Italian boy was leaning against the wall, as far from Yamamoto as he could be, his gaze fixated on the ground. There was a long, tense silence and Yamamoto wondered if it would always be like this between them.

"Thanks for… worrying about me. You should go take some rest, your wounds haven't healed yet." He commented chuckling.

Gokudera looked up at him angrily. "What the fuck?! Weren't you the one who said they had something important to tell me? You even made a stupid promise, are you going to swallow a thousand needles now? I don't know why I even bothered with-"

"Are you really going to hear me out then? Will you hear what I have to say honestly, without running away?" he cut him off with a stern face.

"I already said I would, didn't I? Are you not only stupid but deaf also?"

Yamamoto smiled softly. Truthfully, he'd started to get second thoughts about this. What if Gokudera started hating him and avoiding him again? He'd worked so hard until now to become friends with the dynamite boy and he was scared to lose what little he'd achieved. But he didn't want to keep lying to himself and Gokudera, he didn't want to keep his feelings hidden any longer. He decided the risk was worth taking.

"Gokudera, I like you."

The smaller teen tensed up, flushed beet-red and looked away in an instant.

"W-well that's no s-surprise. I mean y-you're an idiot, you even liked that Squalo j-jerk. S-seriously getting worked up over something s-so stupid." He stammered, turning his back to the baseball player.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt the warmth of another body behind him, and the taller teen's lanky arms surrounding him.

"Not that kind of 'like'." He whispered into the boy's ear, feeling him shiver. "The kind of 'like' when you hold hands and those kinds of things." He rested his hands on top of Gokudera's rigid ones.

Gokudera didn't look at him. He was tense like a stick, as if he didn't dare to move a muscle.

"S-stop making fun of me, asshole. I'll shove some dynamite up your nose."

"I'm not. Please don't underestimate my feelings. You said you'd listen to me honestly and without running away."

"And w-what do you expect me to d-do then? You're acting really weird, y-you must've hit your head in that fight."

Yamamoto leaned his forehead against the back of Gokudera's head, breathing a heavy sigh. His body hurt all over, but he was able to ignore it by focusing all his attention on the boy in his arms.

"The only thing I 'expect' is that you take my feelings seriously and give me an honest answer. It would also be great if Gokudera wouldn't hate me for this; even if I get rejected I wish we could still be friends."

Gokudera struggled a bit as if trying to free himself from Yamamoto's grasp but not really wanting to do it.

"Don't play dumb on me… y-you already know… about my f-f-feelings…"

"How could I? Gokudera's so complicated…" he suddenly spun the smaller teen in his arms, making him face forward. The Italian boy's cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were shimmering with emotions Yamamoto wasn't smart enough to understand.

"I-I'm not going to say it!" the bomber stated firmly, leaning his head on Yamamoto's chest.

The swordsman smiled and hugged the shorter teen by the waist. This was more than he'd ever hoped for, and he wasn't going to force Gokudera to say he liked him if he wasn't ready for it. Before really thinking about what he was doing, he grabbed the green-eyed boy's chin and tugged it upwards before leaning in to steal a kiss. Gokudera stood there rigidly until he was finally swayed by the warmth of the other teen's body and leaned in to kiss him back. It was short and clumsy but Yamamoto was too busy trying to keep his heart from exploding in ecstasy to care.

Even after Gokudera snapped out of it and started flailing about Yamamoto taking his first kiss, the Rain Guardian could only smile and pray he could stay like this forever.

-Finito-

Easily the clumsiest confession scene ever written. Sorry, pulling the "deredere" out of Gokudera's "tsuntsun" was harder than I expected.

I kind of wanted to write a short story about how Gokudera and Yamamoto fell in love and started going out. I tried to lace it with canon as much as I could, but of course I had to take some liberties here and there. I think it goes without saying that this is a sort of prequel to the previous chapter.

Also, I don't know if it was very clear, but Gokudera confessed to Yamamoto because he knew he was moving back to Italy, he didn't move because he got rejected or something. I dunno why, but I think it's important to mention it.

Dera's statement about Yama swallowing a thousand needles is because Japanese children sing a song when making pinky promises that goes "I promise with my Pinky Finger and if I lie I'll swallow down a thousand needles". Adorable children songs.

And now I'm definitely tuning up the rating one notch. Although the chances of there ever being explicit smut are close to none I'm not entirely opposed to the idea, I'll see where it goes. For now, I've already written four more chapters, but I won't upload them all at once because I'm a little stuck right now.

I'm on the verge of falling asleep so I'll leave it at that. Hope you like it. Please R&R.