"Kelly I can't tell him..." I sob into my friend's shoulder.
"You've got to tell him... It has to come from you sweety." She says in a soft tone. She's got a firm grip around me and her hands are rubbing on my back.
"I feel like shit." I grumble, pulling away from her. Hastily I wipe the tears from my face, only to have them replaced by new ones almost instantly.
**Earlier that morning**
"I can't... I can't take it anymore you need to drive me to the hospital." I tell Kelly. I'd been having some horrible back stabbing like all morning, but recently the craps turned into a sharp, stinging pain that I couldn't handle anymore.
"We'll take my car, come on." She nods, her face full of concern. We get to the hospital a few minutes later, "Do you need a hand?" She asks, shutting the door behind me.
"No, I can walk." I murmur, making my way up to the front doors.
"What can I do for you?" The man behind the counter asks.
"Uhm, I'm having terrible pains in my lower back and kind of around my stomach. I'm 16 weeks pregnant." I tell the guy.
"Alright, lets get you back right away. We can take care of paperwork in the room." He nods, motioning for me to follow him to the back. "Is she coming too?" He questions, glancing at Kelly behind me.
"Yeah, she comes." I tell him.
"We're going to do an ultrasound right away, see what's going on inside." A nurse says, walking into the room behind us. "Go ahead and lay down in the chair." She smiles. I do what I'm told, and lay down across the chair. "Lift up your shirt." She tells me. I lift my shirt and she oozes some gel across my stomach, before running the sonogram over it.
"I don't see anything..." I say, looking on the monitor for the little jelly bean.
"Baby is right here." She tells me, pointing to a darker area on the screen. I can tell by her face that something isn't right. "Let me go get the doctor for you." She says, offering me a small smile.
"Something is wrong." I tell Kelly, shaking my head.
"You don't know that..." She says. She reaches over and rubs my arm.
"Why else would she need the doctor?" I ask. A few minutes later she returns with the doctor. He greets me and takes the nurses place next to me, running the sonogram over my stomach again. He hits a button on the monitor and I narrow my eyes at it, trying to see the buttons he was pushing. After a moment he pulls out his stethoscope and places it on my stomach, then to another spot.
"Miss Shepard, I'm sorry to tell you... You've had a miscarriage." He informs me sadly. Kelly's grip on my hand tightens and I bite down hard on my bottom lip.
"What caused it?" I ask in a shaky voice. The tears would start soon, and I really didn't want to be in the hospital for that.
"There could be a number of things." He starts to explain. "There are women who miscarry on their first pregnancy because their body can't handle it yet. Stress is always a common factor. My opinion is your body wasn't ready for it." He tells me. "You haven't passed the tissue yet, I'll give you a prescription to help speed that up. You shouldn't feel it."
**Present moment**
"He's home." She warns me softly. It seemed like it took no time at all for Jon and Colby to come walking in the house, their loud laughs filling the house.
"Sweet pea!" Jon calls. "What's goin' on?" He asks, walking into the kitchen. I had my back turned to him, and I was still trying to wipe away the tears. He spins me around, and his face turns to instant panic. "What the fuck is going on?" He asks in a low tone.
"I had, a miscarriage." I tell him, sobbing between words. He sucks in a deep breath and only stares at me, like he heard what I said but didn't understand why I said it. I noticed at that moment that Kelly and Colby had left the kitchen, leaving us to deal with our own situation. "Jon... Say something." I beg him. My hands find the closest dish towel and I dry my face, my blood shot eyes meeting his cool blue ones.
"The baby is gone?" He asks. What worried me at this point is I couldn't read what he was thinking. Usually I could read Jon like a book, but there was nothing on his face.
"I'm sorry." I nod, reaching out to him. I just wanted him to hold me, and tell me everything would be alright. What he did I wasn't expecting. He pulled away from me, so forcefully that I thought I might have the plague. "Jon...?" I murmur, disappointment in my voice.
"Why? What did you do?" He growls at me. The question felt like whip last, he may as well have just slapped me across the face. How could he assume I did something?
"What?" I ask astonished. "I didn't do anything Jon. The doctor said it was natural, my body wasn't ready for a full term pregnancy." I say. I reach for him again, and again his pulls away from me and takes a few steps back. "What's wrong with you? God Jon, I lost something too. I hurt too. And I can't believe you'd think I'd did anything that would intentionally hurt our baby!" I basically shout at him.
"This is your fault." He tells me, in that same growl he used earlier. I scoff, unable to believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. "You need to leave." He adds. His face was now a deep red, and his jaw was twitching, sure signs that he was close to losing his cool.
"Leave?" I ask, wanting him to clarify.
"Yeah, ya know what leave fuckin' means don't ya?" He snarls at me.
"Hold on. I didn't want to get involved, but this isn't her fault man. You guys need each other right now and you're turning you back on her." Colby says, walking into the kitchen. "And you can't kick her out, she pays to live here too." He adds, like Jon was about the dumbest guy here.
"Fine, then I'll go." He shrugs as if this was no big deal.
"No." I say smally, shaking my head. "You really want me to go?" I ask him, furrowing my brow and hoping the answer was no.
"Did I stutter?" He asks, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Jon." Colby scoffs, looking at his friend skeptically.
"She killed our baby!" He snaps at Colby who looks at him astonished. I knew he was upset and hurt, but that was way out of line.
"I'm gonna go." I say, retreating into the bedroom and trying to hold back my tears. Without looking at anything I was grabbing I shove clothes into one of my old duffle bags. I could hear Colby ripping into Jon in the kitchen, before I hear him storm out and slam the front door.
"You don't have to go." Kelly says softly from the doorway. I chose that moment to let the tears I'd been holding fall, and cry as I finished putting stuff into my bag. She comes up behind me and runs her fingers through my hair. "He's not seeing straight, he'll come around..."
"I can't. I can't stay here knowing that he thinks the things he does." I tell her.
"Where are you going to go?" She asks, chewing on the side of her cheek.
"I'm going to Joe's. Please don't tell Colby and please god don't tell Jon." I say, before swinging the bag over my shoulder. I wipe the tears from my face for the 100th time that day and grab my keys. Jon's blazer was gone from the driveway, and i waiting until I was on i95 before I pulled out my phone and texted Joe.
"Can I stay with you for a while?" Text to Joe.
"Uh oh. What's wrong?" Text from Joe.
"Lost the baby. Don't want to talk about it right now. Jon doesn't want me there." Text to Joe.
"I'm sorry... I'll be home around 5. House code is 6546." Text from Joe.
"Thanks." Text to Joe.
**Later that night**
I'm sitting on the far end of the couch when Joe got home, my bag sitting next to me. He retreats into the kitchen first before he appears in the doorway. He doesn't say anything, just watches me from the door frame. After a moment he walks over and grabs my bag, taking it into a room down the hall.
"Come and eat something." He says in a soft tone. He reaches down and pulls me up by the elbow, basically dragging me into the kitchen. "Mourning is fine Annabelle, but you still have to eat." He says, handing me some Chinese.
"Thanks." I tell him.
"What'd he say?" Joe asks, raising his eyebrows.
"You don't want to know Joe." I say to him. Joe was never very good with handling Jon's harsh words.
"Tell me." He says a little more sternly.
"He blames me." I sigh, pouring some soy sauce over my rice. "Thinks it's my fault."
"He's an idiot." He mutters shaking his head.
"Then he told me to leave." I shrug. By this point I was numb, everything felt like a movie to me. Just a big screen that I was watching the events happen on.
"I don't even know what to say." He tells me honestly.
"Joe, you really don't need to say anything." I chuckle, not in a happy way. "It's just enough that you let me stay. You sure your cousins won't mind?" I ask him.
"Nah, I already called them. They know you're here." He replies. "Do you want to do anything? Take your mind off of things?" He questions.
"I'm sad Joe." I admit, setting the container of orange chicken down on the counter.
"I know Annabelle... I'm sorry." He sighs. We both look down at my phone as it vibrates on the table, but it's not Jon, only Kelly.
"Did you make it to Joe's alright?" Text from Kelly.
"Yeah I'm here. Is he home?" Text to Kelly.
"No... We haven't heard from him." Text from Kelly.
"I'm gonna hang out with Joe. I'll talk to you later." Text to Kelly.
"Jon's out at some bar somewhere." I tell Joe in that same sad tone of voice.
"Hey, how about you just don't think about him right now?" He tells me, giving my pony tail a tug. "How about we go to the bar for a change?" He suggests.
"I could use a drink." I agree after thinking about it for a moment.
"Lets go." He nods, putting the leftovers into the fridge and grabbing his keys.
A/N: Not sure what I'm going to do in the next chapters to come... Your guess is as good as mine right now lol