The Unfortunate Misadventures of a Willing Hostage

by Nekogigi

Yukino is your above average medical ninja working under the employment of the Akatsuki as their new medical specialist, however, life in a notorious criminal organisation isn't what people believe it to be. Join Yuki as she attempts to stay at least half sane among all the crazyness that is the Akatsuki in this random and cractastic story. Rated M just in case

16. Chapter 16

The Unfortunate Misadventures of a Willing Hostage.

Chapter 16

Journal Entry: 12. Oct 30

Dear Diary,

I have a new friend.

The bijuu extraction went faster than expected, and most of the members of Akatsuki are now fast asleep in the common room in various positions. Deidara is on the coffee table with his ass in the air, Kisame's hanging halfway out the fish tank. Pein and Konan are quietly snoring on the couch. Kakuzu fell asleep in the rocking chair with the chainsaw known as Hidan in his lap. Tobi's out in the backyard with Zetsu building a tree house or whatever. Itachi's wherever the hell he is (probably masturbating to rock music or something) and Sasori is in Geppetto-mode down in his workshop, so here I am keeping our new prisoner company. He wishes to be referred to as 'Frank' and I'm assuming he may have sustained brain damage during his brief encounter with death.

Usually extracting a tailed beast from its host results in the death of said host. It's different with 'Frank', who somehow managed to stay alive. It seems a little suspicious.

We're keeping him under observation for a couple of days until Leader gives Zetsu the order to eat him.

While I was making photocopies of Itachi's diary, which I plan on publishing as a novel or selling to a morbid heavy metal rock band, I found a permanent marker on Leader-sama's desk and will be using it to draw ridiculous doodles on everyone's faces and/or masks. I shared this idea with Frank and he told me to shove a certain ginpatsu kusottare's hands in boiling water while I was at it and document the loud-mouthed motherfucker pissing himself. Hidan does a lot of pissing. Whether it's pissing on plantmen or pissing people off or just pissing on the furniture coz he feels like it. He's like a fucking untrained circus orangutan. It's about time someone pissed him off, but considering Hidan's high pain tolerance and his affinity to masochism, the wet patch on his pants was most likely something a little more viscous than urine. Frank is a fun guy, albeit a little mentally incapacitated. I hope we can keep him, it's been a while since we had a pet. Gladys doesn't count because there are still pieces of her in the freezer.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the permanent marker and my OCs.

Yukino: Yo!, this is my first disclaimer invasion. I'm so thrilled to finally be umph…

'Frank': Shut your pie hole and get back in your box, we're not there yet.

Yukino: kuso kurae no shin bonkura!

'Frank': Did you just call me a dumbass? Gigi! Yuki-chan is being mean to me, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Nekogigi: Gigi janai, Gigi-taichou da!