I was bleeding profusely, the deep cut in my stomach pooling warm stickiness soaking my shirt from lack of pressure to the wound. I wasn't healing, I was barely breathing and my heart was slowing rapidly. The pain was excruciating. I didn't have enough energy, enough breath, to scream. Where was he? My eyes made contact with his startlingly blue ones as my lids began to droop, he's safe. Relief washed over my pain-stricken body. "Shade? Earla?" Oh how he spoke my real name. He must have noticed the wet pool overtaking the front of shirt, seeping under my vest, and realizing it wasn't sweat but my own blood. He must have realized I wasn't healing. "Earla!" He yelled his voice raw with concern and desperation as I swayed. How was I still standing? My vision was blurring and much to my protesting my eyelids shut. I fell backwards, falling… falling…

I woke up the same way I always do, in a cold sweat, shaking and shortened breathing. My phone was ringing frantically on my nightstand. I grabbed it and swallowed once before answering.

"Rumpel?"

"Ella, Ella! He shot her, he shot her, she fell over the line, he shot her, she can't remember, she can't remember me, can't remember me, she can't remember anything she doesn't-"

"Rumpel!" I cut him off as he started to sound like used to, hysterical and crazed. "Calm down before I strangle you, who got shot?"

I yanked off the covers, striding quickly over to my closet and grabbing the one pair of flat-footed boots I had. I called them my combat boots, while Emma, Snow's daughter, referred to them as my "ass-kicking shoes". I was rather fond of Emma. She was more like me than Snow and even Ruby. I had been avoiding them all lately since the curse broke, afraid they would figure out what I was, I faked sick. But in honor of Snow and Emma's return from our realm I had coffee with them that morning on my way to work, making sure that the topic never slid to what had happened to them in our realm as to not bring up unwanted questions.

"Belle."

I immediately focused my attention back on Rumpel as he began to stutter on about Belle losing her memory. I slid on both boots and pulled the dagger and sheath I slept with under my pillow.

"Are you at the hospital?" He replied yes and I ended the call, snatching my keys and jacket off the counter and slamming the door to my apartment shut.

...

I zipped up my leather jacket upon entering the hospital and realizing I had forgotten a bra under my thin t-shirt in my haste. I was rather grateful I had actually opted for my closefitting, black sweatpants instead of just the nightshirt I wore on hotter nights. I gathered my waist-length hair into a messy bun at the back of my head. Rumpel was waiting in the lobby. Pacing back and forth, muttering to himself in a strained voice one octave higher than usual.

"Rumpel?" I tested.

He directed his focus on me and sanity seemed to be slowly slipping from him. I inhaled a breath and did the only thing I knew would bring him back. I stepped forward and hugged him, knowing this was testing the Shade side of me. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my shoulder.

"She'll remember. We will find a way for her to remember. I-I'll even use magic if I have to." The promise slipped from my tongue before I could think of the consequences that could follow.

He stiffened in surprise for a second and then pulled away much to my relief. I stepped back once and exhaled the remainder of the breath I had been holding before sucking in the air unpolluted by a make scent around me. The crazed look in his eyes had been stifled and I narrowed my brows. If you thought Rumpel could get angry you had yet to see me as such.

"Now, where's the bastard that shot her?" My voice came out cold and haunting.

"That, dearie, has yet to be revealed. Your friend, Emma, has made sure of it." I ignored the way he spat out "friend".

"Where is she?" He waved in the direction of the hall and I stalked off in the direction.

"I swear I won't tell him where he is."

"Yeah, but I know you, you could very well kill him too." Emma was resisting my pleadings with her to take me to the bastard's room.

"Fine, look me in the eye and put that lie detector to good use when I say, I will not lay a hand on him." I met her blue ones with my one green and one blue. She didn't stare for long I knew it could creep people out.

"Alright." She was suspicious but led me down the series of hallways.

I was telling the truth, I wouldn't lay a hand on him, but I did still have that blade I slept with tucked into the band of my sweatpants and hidden from view. She stopped outside a door hidden in a back corridor and opened it partway.

"You have two minutes, Ella." I nodded my head and slid in between the door and frame, she shut it behind me.

I stood in the doorway to the small, white room. My were pulled immediately to the bed before I could check the corners of the room like I usually did. There, on a hospital cot, lay an unconscious man, it was him. I fumbled with the door handle before yanking it open and darting into the hallway. Where I ran to the nearest trash bin and got thoroughly sick. Snow had come in search of Emma and rushed over to me at the same moment Emma did. Snow's comforting hand rubbed my back while the other pushed the stray hairs away from my face. Emma stood facing me. Snow was whispering words of comfort as I stopped and tried to inhale ragged breaths.

"You really were sick." Emma stated.

I didn't respond, I couldn't, I didn't have enough air. Emma went off in search of a glass of water and most likely Rumple. Snow gently pulled me away from the trash can. I turned suddenly and embraced her. She was surprised but her motherly nature took over and she held me close as unwelcome tears seeped out and ran down my cheeks. Him, he- I shook my head and buried my face in her shoulder. Snow led me back to the waiting room, my vision blurry but my tears disappearing, confusion and cool rage began to slip in with the pain and sadness.

I pressed my knees against either side of my head as my panic attack began to subside and I attempted to get my troubled breathing under control. I heard Emma's precise and dictated footsteps and the shuffle of Rumpel's. A glass of water came into view and I wrapped my long fingers around it gripping it hard before tossing my head back and drinking it down like alcohol. I handed the glass back as I took the last swallow. I was still in the state of shock. Rumpel immediately noticed the remnants of dried tears on my cheeks. Anger boiled up out of him.

"What. Did Hook do to you?" His voice was strained again and fast approaching a scream.

My head was down again but my eyes slid up to his face. My own anger filling my expression as my eyes narrowed. I slid off the chair and stood to my full height accentuating the one inch I had on him. My hands were curled into fists and my black nails bit into my palms.

"What. Did Hook. Do to me?" It came out frostily and shaky as I tried to suppress my emotions. "What did Hook do to me?" It came out louder and I didn't stop there. "Captain-freaking-Hook is your nemesis? You're the crocodile?" I was screaming, every emotion sending tremors through me. I spun in direction of the doors, ignoring the observers watching the exchange, and stormed out of the building. Emma held back Rumpel from going after me.

...

I cut the engine to my bike and yanked my helmet off over my head throwing it on the ground. My heavy footsteps echoed off the walls of other buildings surrounding the marina. I advanced up the pier towards the end. My feet stopped at the edge and I held my face up to the salted wind. Deep breaths inhaling the scent of the ocean filtered through my lungs. I often came either here or the woods to think and what with my current situation I felt the wharf was appropriate. My eyes shut and I just was for a moment before my eyes snapped open and I began to pace up and down the slip. He's here. My- he's not your damn Captain anymore- Captain Hook, Kill- don't you dare start calling him that-he's here in Storybrooke. He's here for revenge on his croc-that's Rumpel you idiot- he's Rumpel's enemy, Rumpel's his enemy. He shot Belle. Why did he shoot Belle- Rumpel's love, that's why, but Rumpel took his hand why not shoot Rumpel. Rumpel told me of a pirate who stole his wife from him, who wanted revenge on him after his wife died. I knew hadn't been telling me everything but I didn't press on after seeing the seething hurt in his eyes. Captain- HE told me about a man who had cut off his hand referred to him as a "crocodile" explained how he wanted to exact his revenge. Again I had guessed there was more to the story but I hadn't pressed on. Hook stole Rumpel's wife and Rumpel took his hand for it. What happened to this woman-Milah I think is what Rumpel called her-how did she die she just— I stopped abruptly, shaking hands lifted upward and I held my head in them. Rumpel, he killed her. Hook didn't steal her, she ran away with him- I remembered snippets of a story Smee had been telling one night, I didn't pay much attention because that was the same night I—I shook the oncoming memories out of my head. My sadness was gone, I buried it along with my panic and confusion. Cold rage spread through me like blood and I knew my face formed into the indifferent, bored expression I got when someone pushed me over the edge. How the fucking, bloody hell did I manage to pick the two most terrible, self-centered, enemies in our realm and make them the closest men to me? I marched back up the landing pier to my bike, noticing the sky getting lighter. There was no way I was going to be able to go back to sleep now. I needed a hot shower, and a talk with Rumpel-freaking-stilskin, and he better tell the truth because I cannot speak with him.