A/N: A little early tonight. The internet at home is acting weird and I wanted to get this posted on the off chance it went down. I hope you'll like it.

It didn't take us long to fall asleep that night, spooned together on Maura's bed. My last thought before dropping off was that it had been way too long since I was the big spoon to Maura's little spoon. We used to fall asleep just like this, and back then, neither of us was willing to admit how much comfort we took from each other.

Maura woke up first the next morning, tugging my arm tighter around her and giving our intertwined fingers a kiss.

"Morning," I mumbled, squeezing her back.

"Morning," she said cheerfully, already fully awake. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept wonderfully," I answered honestly. "I missed sleeping in a bed that doesn't have rails on the sides. But more than that, I missed sleeping with you, like this."

"The nights we slept like this were always the nights I slept best."

"I didn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time for months after we stopped doing this," I said sadly. "We used to fall asleep together what, two, three times a week?"

"At least. Sometimes more," Maura admitted.

"Giving that up was hard for me."

"I missed it too, Jane. I used to get irrationally angry at William for not spooning with me," Maura said with a sigh. "He always said he couldn't sleep unless he was flat on his back. I don't think he ever understood why I'd get so standoffish at bedtime."

"Heh," I laughed lightly, "I guess nothing compares to a Jane Rizzoli snuggle." I meant it jovially, as a means to give Maura something to laugh about, but she was completely serious when she rolled over to look at me.

"You're right. Nothing does. William wasn't even a close second. I kept telling myself just to give him a chance, that we were more compatible than I thought. I kept telling myself I could not compare him with you, because that was unfair to him, but that's all I ever did. I'd spend time with him and imagine how much more fun it would be to do the same things with you."

I looked at Maura sadly. "I spent a lot of time wishing you were spending time with me. I was very jealous, and very hurt, when I realized I'd been replaced."

"I'm sorry." Maura's apology was genuine.

"You have nothing to apologize for. Why would you apologize for falling in love?"

Maura shrugged. "Because it wasn't with you? Because the entire time I was with William I felt like I was cheating on you? Because William knew he couldn't compare with you, and yet I still committed to him and nearly had his baby? Because I let you walk away because we both knew that was the only way we were going to get over each other?"

"You asked me not to leave," I said, trying to console her.

"I let you walk away long before you actually left, Jane. We both know that. I just didn't know how to stop loving you. I thought distancing myself from you would make it easier."

"Leaving Boston was the hardest thing I ever did. Walking away from you that day, in front of my apartment, tore my heart to shreds. I never felt so empty and alone."

"I should have chased after you. I mean, I ran out of the building after you, but I should have gone to you in New York. I should have found you there and begged you to come home."

"I'm glad you didn't see me in New York. I was reckless and stupid. I didn't care about anything anymore. I woke up, went to work, took a lot of unnecessary risks, worked lots of overtime, then came home, drank myself to sleep, and woke up the next morning to do it all over again. I kept waiting for something to give. I kept waiting for the longing to go away. I kept waiting to make a mistake at work that would put me out of my misery. I never imagined how something as simple as a train ride to Boston would bring me to the point I'd been silently hoping for."

"Oh Jane," Maura reached out and wiped away a tear I hadn't realized I'd shed.

"Let's not talk about this anymore," I asked.

"Let's go out for breakfast and then walk around the Common for a while," Maura suggested.

"We could eat here, this way people can't sit and stare at me," I offered instead.

"Jane, if people stare, it's only because they're enraptured by your beauty. You have no idea how gorgeous you are."

"I have an inch of hair on my head, am paler than the snow on the ground, and am covered in scars. Oh, and I walk with a lurch. I'm sure that's going to do wonders for everyone's appetite," I sassed.

"You're ridiculous. Get up, we're going out," Maura said decisively.

"I don't want to. Can we stay here?" I was starting to whine, and was hating myself for it. But there was no way I wanted to go out in public looking and walking like I did.

"Why? I mean, you can't get up and go out to eat in rehab. Why not take advantage of the weekend?"

Leave it to Maura to be logical.

"Because I look like a freak, Maura!"

Maura got up out of bed and stomped around to my side. "That's it. Get up!"

"What?" I asked, in total disbelief. Was she ordering me out of bed?

"Get. Up. We're going out. If you won't believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are, I'm going to show you. Up I said!"

"Maura-" I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't believe how much Maura's voice had risen. Was she actually yelling at me?

"No. Get up," Maura said sharply. "Or go back to rehab."

"What?!" First she was ordering me out of bed, then she gave me an ultimatum? All because I didn't want to go out for breakfast?

"I'm tired of this, Jane. I'm going to show you how beautiful you are. How tough you are. How badass you are. And I don't want to hear, even once, how you don't think you are. Get. Up."

I sat up in the bed, stunned at Maura's words. "You'd send me back to rehab?"

"Do you really want to find out?" she challenged.

And the truth was, I didn't want to find out, so I stood up.

"Wait there, I have the perfect outfit for you," she said excitedly.

Maura dashed off into the guest bedroom, and I stood there, wondering what I'd just gotten myself into, or how her mood could change so quickly.

An hour later, I was dressed in a pair of designer jeans that seemed to hug me in all the right places, a t-shirt and a hooded sweatshirt. Maura helped me into the same pair of snow boots from the day before and my winter coat. The outfit was decidedly casual, yet distinctly more fashionable than what I normally wore. Even with the hooded sweatshirt on. From out of her closet she came up with a Boston Red Sox baseball cap for me to wear. I realized it was the cap I'd given her the first time I took her to a Sox game. My heart melted at the fact that she had kept it, after all this time.

Maura had dressed similarly, in a pair of jeans that I'd never seen before, a cami, an off the shoulder long-sleeved t-shirt, and her winter coat. She'd done her hair up in a loose ponytail.

"You look beautiful. You should wear jeans more often," I complimented as I admired her.

"I thought it would be fun if we matched," Maura replied. "And by the way, you look great, Jane."

I started to shake my head, but Maura gave me a dirty look, so instead I just looked around for my crutches.

We called over to my mother and asked if she wanted to join us for breakfast, but she declined. Maura let Jo Friday out and Ma took her into the guesthouse to watch her while we were gone.

We got into Maura's Mercedes and she drove us to a diner not far from the Common. Maura's expensive car looked a bit out of place in the diner's parking lot, but it didn't seem to even occur to Maura. We walked in and the hostess sat us in a booth toward the back.

"Maura, do you think maybe we can go to a bank today? I have no cash on me at all. As a matter of fact, I don't even know where my ATM card wound up." I didn't like being out without cash, or a means of getting cash.

"I think your mother has your driver's license, credit card, and your ATM card. They were in your pocket when the accident happened and I'm fairly certain they were given over to your mother with the rest of your personal items when she came to Hartford. But for now, I've got you covered," Maura reassured me.

"That's really sweet of you, but the point of me going to a bank is so that you don't have to keep paying for stuff. I can afford to take us out to breakfast now and then."

"We'll worry more about that when you're released to outpatient therapy. For now, let's just enjoy the day on my tab. Besides, you'd have to go in and see a teller without your ATM card, and I don't think your bank has Saturday hours, does it? And they won't let you take out money without valid identification. So just let me get breakfast today, okay?"

I groaned, and slouched a little in my seat. "Thank you, Maura. When I come home, I'm going to take us out on a nice date or twelve."

"Or twelve?" Maura asked, with an amused smile on her face.

"Or thirteen. Or fourteen. Enough to make it feel like I've repaid you, even a tiny bit, for everything you've done."

"I told you, I don't expect to be repaid." This time, when Maura said it, there was no bite in her tone. To her it was just a simple fact. To me it was a huge debt of gratitude.

"I know. But I'll feel better if I can do something nice for you in return for all the nice things you've done for me."

"That's sweet of you Jane. I'm going to look forward to those dates."

"Me too."

We opened up our menus and perused the diner's offerings. Maura ordered a bowl of fresh fruit and some oatmeal, and I ordered chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and hashbrowns.

"You should have some fruit with that," Maura said.

"Chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and beans are a vegetable. Vegetables are healthy like fruit, so I'm good." I nodded as I said this, trying to give myself an air of authority that I knew Maura would never buy.

Maura grinned. "It's amazing how you can justify that meal."

"I'm supposed to pack on calories anyway."

"Not empty calories!" Maura admonished. "You need to make healthy choices if you want to get your strength back."

"I'll have fruit with lunch," I said, putting her off. I had no intention of having fruit with lunch.

"I'm going to hold you to it," Maura warned.

"I believe you," I said with a grin. We'd see about that.

The waitress brought us our coffee, and a little while later our food, and we enjoyed a quiet but comfortable breakfast. Maura ordered us two more coffees to go, and we headed out to the Boston Common.

"I can't carry the coffee and my crutches," I complained as we got out of the car. "I guess I'll leave the coffee here."

"Or you could leave the crutches here," Maura said. "You can lean on me. You're strong enough to walk on your own."

"But what if my pelvis decides it's not going to do what I want it to?"

"You'll have your arms around me. You know I'd support you."

"You already do," I said with a grin. "But I like that idea. If we don't wander too far, we can always come back for the crutches if I need them."

Maura locked the car, and I wrapped my left arm around her waist. She wrapped her right arm around mine, and we set off at an agonizingly slow pace through the Common, me leaning on her heavily, and Maura supporting me without complaint.

"I missed Boston while I was gone. Central Park is beautiful, but it wasn't the Common, and going there made me feel homesick," I remarked as we made our way in.

"I missed you while you were gone," Maura said quietly. "I would wonder, all the time, what you were doing at a particular moment."

"Probably missing you. I did that every waking moment, of every day. And then I'd fall asleep at night and dream of you."

"Did you ever go out, do things with the people you worked with? What about your friends?" Maura asked.

"I purposely did not cultivate any friendships while I was in New York. And I went out with my coworkers exactly once, on the date of your wedding, so I could get ridiculously drunk. When I wouldn't let one of the detectives in my unit into my pants, I never got asked back out again. That was completely fine with me. I was content to sit home and get drunk on other important dates, like the date you met William and your birthday. In the beginning I tried to explore the city a little on my own, just to distract myself, but I kept looking for Boston and getting upset when I realized nothing was going to be like home there."

"Jane, that's horrible," Maura said sadly.

"Yes, it was," I admitted softly.

"While you were gone, I tried to distract myself too. I had been looking at design books and magazines, planning the baby's room. And I became such a regular at yoga that they offered me a part time job teaching a class on Saturdays, but I turned them down. In the beginning I tried to meditate, because I thought it would calm me and teach me to control my thoughts about you and about William, but in the end I could never clear my mind, because all my thoughts always came right back to you."

"What did you do on the date of your wedding?" I asked suddenly.

"Your mother came over first thing in the morning and took me out for a spa day. Half way through I was so upset that we had to leave. The people at the spa thought I lost my mind. I spent the rest of the day in bed, crying."

"I'm sorry Maura." I really was sorry. Maura didn't deserve such unhappiness.

"I'm not sorry I cried. I needed to cry. I bottle up so much emotion sometimes. It felt good to let go of some of the sorrow. If only I'd known how much more sorrow awaited me though. I wasn't prepared for more heartache."

"You must have been so scared when you miscarried," I whispered.

"I wasn't scared. I was heartbroken. I knew exactly what was happening. I'd woken up that morning sicker than I'd been in weeks, and I had been spotting for days before that. I called in sick to work and stayed in bed, trying to relax. Eventually the cramping got so bad that I headed to the bathroom, and I miscarried in there. It was like my emotions had shut off and I looked at it clinically, like I had been trained to. It wasn't until your mother came home early, worried because I'd called in sick, that I really got upset."

"You were home alone when it happened?" I asked, completely shocked.

"There was no one to stay with me, Jane. William was gone, and the only contact I had with him was through my attorney speaking to his attorney, and all we spoke about was custody of the baby once it was born. You were in New York. I love Korsak and Frost but I'd never call them for something like that. Your mother was at work. Frankie and Tommy were at work too." Maura said this all matter-of-factly, as if it hadn't been her that it happened to.

"I just wish you hadn't been alone when it happened," I said, feeling scared for her. I would have been scared in that situation. I couldn't understand how she handled it alone.

"Me too," Maura sighed.

I squeezed Maura's waist and pressed a kiss to her hair. "What happened after Ma showed up?"

"I don't remember very much. I was very out of it. I remember that she got very upset. She saw all the blood and panicked. She helped me to clean up a little, then she drove me over to Mass Gen. I spent a few days there, after my D and C recovering, and then I came home. Aside from your family, Frost and Korsak, I hadn't told many people I was pregnant. I'm sure they knew, since my morning sickness had forced me to alter my hours at work, but I was waiting for the first trimester to be over to officially announce it. It wasn't until I was home again that it hit me, exactly what I'd lost. All of a sudden all of the emotion I'd been bottling up just exploded out of me. Physically I'd been cleared to go back to work, so I went, and for a couple of weeks I tried, but I couldn't function and wound up taking time off to clear my head."

"I can only imagine how bad it was for you, if you couldn't function at work. Work is your comfort zone. It's where you lose yourself when you need to do that."

"After you left, work was just a reminder of you being gone," Maura said flatly.

"I'm sorry," I said for what felt like the millionth time. Would I ever be able to say it enough?

"Your mother was terrific. She wouldn't leave me alone. She went out of her way to make sure I was distracted in any way possible. She listened to me and offered advice. She had miscarried once, between Frankie and Tommy. Did you know that?"

"I do remember it, vaguely. I remember my father rushing my mother to the hospital and Nonna coming to stay with us for a few days. When Ma came home she told Frankie and I that she was going to have a baby but God decided to take the baby to heaven instead. We were just little kids. Frankie wasn't even three years old, and I wasn't quite six yet. We had no idea what any of that meant."

"She had a lot of advice to offer and she knew what I was going through. Your mother is wonderful, Jane," Maura said, the gratitude evident in her voice.

"She is, but don't ever tell her I said that," I responded with a grin.

"Maybe you should tell her, because sometimes I think she wonders what you think of her. She was so upset to learn that you were coming back to Boston to that deposition but you hadn't let her know. She hadn't seen you in half a year and you were going to not see her when you came back. It was irrational, but at first she was more upset about that than she was about your injuries. I think she could comprehend your actions, but she couldn't comprehend how gravely injured you were."

"I didn't tell anyone I was coming because I didn't think anyone would want to see me," I answered morosely. "Frankie wasn't speaking to me. Ma only called to check and see if I was still alive. She was furious with me for walking out on you before your wedding, but even that couldn't keep her overprotectiveness from making her check in. Tommy never called but he'd send pictures of TJ every couple of weeks. I couldn't stand the idea of coming back and seeing you and William as a married couple. I didn't want to hear about how happy the two of you were together, because it probably would have killed me."

I looked over to Maura and saw the hurt written all over her face. "I'm sorry. I had no idea so much had gone on while I was gone. My mother, the woman who can't keep a secret, had managed to keep all of what had happened to you from me because she was so angry with me."

"I think in your shoes I could understand how you felt. I would have been so happy to see you though. I never realized your mother didn't say anything. It's so unlike her."

"She was really angry with me for walking out the way I did. She has always considered you family, and hurting family is one of the worst things that a Rizzoli could do. I think she was afraid I'd find some new way to hurt you after all you'd been through. Truthfully, I don't know how I would have reacted to the news back then. I don't know what I would have said or done. Emotionally I was already a wreck, and I'd probably have lashed out instead of doing the right thing."

"I don't think I would have been able to get through that," Maura said. "In your shoes, I mean."

"I think we're on the right path now, though."

"I think so too. I think if we keep this up, we'll have a foundation stronger than we ever had before."

"Dr. Gilfried will be so proud."

Maura laughed. "Come on, let's go back to the car. It's cold, you're shivering, and we need to go find an outfit for you for tomorrow since I gave you your party clothes to wear today."

"Maura!"

"You look hot, by the way," Maura said with a smirk, doing her best impression of Giovanni.

"Ew, really, don't even go there. I do not, and you sound just like Giovanni, which is gross." I actually shuddered at the idea of Giovanni, but mostly the idea of Giovanni trying to lick Maura's face. My stomach clenched in revulsion.

"Jane, you do look really good. That outfit and that coat look terrific on you. And I've always thought you were beautiful. I think you're probably your most beautiful when you're open and honest with me, like you just were."

I shook my head in disbelief, but smiled at her. "You're the kindest person in the world, Maura, and you're a saint for putting up with me. Thank you. Let's go get this shopping over with. You know I hate to clothes shop."

"I love it, and we're going to have so much fun!" Maura clapped her hands together.

"That's what I'm afraid of," I said, with a laugh. We made our way back to Maura's car and headed to the mall to do some shopping.

By the time we were finished, I had 3 new outfits, a new pair of sneakers, and some underwear I was almost embarrassed to own. Maura really liked the underwear though, so how could I tell her no?

We headed back to Maura's house where Maura made us salads and fresh fruit for lunch while I took a hot bath to calm my muscles. I'd really worked them hard that morning, but I'd gone hours without using my crutches and it was worth it. I didn't even complain about the fresh fruit, either, even though I had planned to at breakfast. I was having too much fun with Maura to say anything.

After lunch we spent the afternoon cutting up vegetables to make stir-fry for dinner. We laughed and joked as we chopped up the ingredients, and I took comfort in the happy domesticity of the activity. I was looking forward to coming home to this on a more permanent basis.

The rest of Saturday flew by, and I found myself wishing it would slow down more than once. As we sat down to dinner later that evening, I said as much to Maura.

"Do I really have to go back to stay at the rehab center? Can't I stay here and do outpatient therapy?"

"Oh Jane. I don't want you to go back either. But you're not ready for outpatient therapy yet. Soon though. I can see you improving every day."

"It's just now that I've been home, I don't want to leave," I said sadly.

Maura positively beamed at me, which surprised me considering how sad I was. "Are you less apprehensive about coming to live here with me?"

"Absolutely!" I affirmed.

"It's going to be upsetting to drive you back to the rehab tomorrow. Especially after sleeping with you last night. Tomorrow night is going to be rather lonely."

"Then don't make me go."

"Jane," Maura pouted. "You know you have to go. You still need daily therapy. We'll just have to enjoy tonight and tomorrow too."

"I know," I sighed. "And I'm going to work my ass off in therapy, so I can come home right away."

"Before you know it, you'll be getting ready for your requalifications for duty," Maura said.

"I haven't even been offered a job, Maura. There's a chance that I might have to look at other cities. Just because Frankie told Cavanaugh to hold a spot for me in homicide doesn't mean that spot will be there when I'm ready to take it."

"It will be. I've already spoken to Cavanaugh, and he's definitely holding a spot open for you," Maura said with a shrug.

"Maura!"

"Well I couldn't have you get better and then just leave again, could I?" Maura asked worriedly, panic evident in her eyes at the mere idea.

"That's- that's sneaky and underhanded and- and- AND JUST LIKE SOMETHING MY MOTHER WOULD DO!" I bellowed.

"I'm sorry, are you angry?" Maura looked terrified that I was really mad.

"No, I'm just shocked. That seems so unlike you. You've spent way too much time with my mother."

"Well, when you come home, your bad habits can rub off on me instead of hers."

"Mmm, you'd like me to rub you off," I said, grinning as I leaned in to kiss her. "Wouldn't you, now."

"Jane," Maura giggled against my lips before kissing me again. "Finish your dinner."

"Somebody's changing the subject!" I sing-songed.

"Well you know I can't lie. So I can't tell you I don't want you to do it. But now is not the time. And I don't think we'll be doing that again until you're ready for me to reciprocate."

"We can do that again whenever you want, Maura. I told you last night I'm not keeping score." I flashed her a smile and batted my eyelashes.

"Still, I'd rather it be a mutual thing, and not something that's so one-sided."

"You don't think I enjoyed doing that to you last night?"

"Not as much as you would have if you'd let me reciprocate," Maura pointed out gently.

Maura raised a hand as I started to object.

"I understand the reasons why you didn't want me to touch you, and I agreed to wait until you were ready. I'm just making a point."

"It bothers you though, doesn't it?" I asked.

"I wouldn't use the word bother. Worries me, perhaps. I'd really like to help you restore your confidence. I'm more concerned about that than I am over how many orgasms we have in a single weekend."

"Thank you for being concerned, but there's nothing to be concerned about," I said quietly. I didn't see this as a problem. I just needed to be ready, and I wasn't at the moment.

"Yes, there is. Ever since this accident you've been almost passive, Jane. The Jane Rizzoli I know and love has never been passive. She is bold, confident and powerful. And before you say that this accident changed you, I know that the person I'm talking about is still there. She was there the day Wilma died at the rehab and you took charge of the situation. She was there yesterday, when you told your mother about us and stood up to her."

"I just don't feel bold or confident. I can't really explain it. I don't like how I look. I don't feel like myself," I argued defensively.

"Well, let's give it some time, and see if you and I can't get that confidence back for you. And I'm sure Dr. Gilfried will work on this with you too."

"Great," I groaned. "When I start outpatient therapy, I don't have to see her anymore, do I?"

"Your outpatient therapy will likely consist of all the same therapies you're getting now, just shorter in duration," Maura explained.

"So that means I still have to see her," I grumbled.

"I thought you liked her?" Maura scowled.

"She's nice, I just hate all the prying she does. She doesn't give up, and it gets on my nerves." I knew I sounded like I was whining, but it was true. I hated all the prying.

"She doesn't take no for an answer, you mean."

"Correct."

"You used to be the same way," Maura remarked. "Maybe she's doing that with you so she can teach you by example."

I sighed and got up, rinsing my plate and putting it in the dishwasher. "Are you done with that?" I asked, pointing to Maura's plate and ignoring her last comment.

"Yes, thank you," she said, handing me the dish.

I rinsed Maura's plate and put it in the dishwasher too.

"I'm going to get ready for bed," I said quietly.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?" I almost snapped. I was tired of hearing about how I'd be back to my old self someday. It didn't feel like that was possible.

"Don't be mad, Jane. Not all of your healing is physical in nature, and it all takes time."

Maura was so sweet when she said that, that it made me feel guilty for how mad I was getting. She wasn't trying to piss me off. It was my own fault, for letting the conversation get to me the way it had.

"Thanks," I answered guiltily as I started making my way to the stairs.

"Wait, I'll help you," Maura said, jumping from her seat to help me up the stairs.

"I've got it." I did have it, but I could hear Maura two steps behind me the entire way up. I got up to her bedroom and pulled out my pajamas.

"I'm going to take a bath, do you want to join me?" Maura asked.

"Nah, that's okay," I waved her away as I started putting my pajamas on.

"Come on, Jane. Don't be so angry."

"I'm not angry." I wasn't. I was frustrated, tired, achy, and upset that I had caused Maura concern. But I wasn't angry. Not anymore, at least.

"Okay," Maura said, unconvinced. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me."

I could hear Maura puttering around in the bathroom while I changed into my pajamas. I considered joining her for about thirty seconds before I realized that joining her would mean exposing myself to her again, both physically and emotionally, and I was too tired for that. Instead I curled up on the bed, on top of the covers, and waited for Maura to come out of the bathroom so we could go to sleep.

At one point I heard the bathroom door open, but Maura didn't come out and didn't say anything, so I didn't bother to look up and see what she was doing. I heard the door close a few seconds later, and then after that I heard the shower running. I guess Maura had been waiting to see if I'd change my mind and join her in the bath. I felt bad that she'd waited for me, but I had told her no.

I'd fallen asleep before Maura came back out of the bathroom, but woke up as she was trying to maneuver the covers out from under me and cover me up.

"Oh hey, sorry," I said when I woke up. "Let me get up."

I sat up and we pulled the covers down. I curled back up under them, and waited for Maura to join me.

"I just need to moisturize. All that walking around we did at the Common today dried out my skin."

"Okay," I said with a yawn. I could barely keep my eyes open. Being home was definitely more exhausting than being at the rehab, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

She sat down on the edge of the bed and started rubbing lotion on her skin. She was still wrapped in a towel as I started to doze off.

"Maur?"

"Yes, beautiful girl?"

I smiled at the term of endearment. I know Maura could hear it in my voice even if she wasn't facing me to see it. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Today. Everything. Waiting for me to be ready," I said sleepily.

"I love you, Jane. That's all part of loving you, and you never have to thank me for that," she reassured me.

"Thank you anyway. And I love you, too."

I don't remember her getting up and getting dressed, or climbing back into the bed, but when I woke up the next morning, she was wrapped up tightly in my arms.