Sharon sat down in front of the monitor and cleared her throat, already knowing that the video would be hard to watch. It was one thing to see a dead body and it was another thing entirely to see the death – even on video. The video started up and Brenda's interview began, there was a knock on the door and Brenda got up from the table, scolding the suspect as she left. Then, alone in the room, Kyle removed the gun from his pocket and checked the clip.

Brenda and Buzz chose that moment to enter the viewing room. Sharon didn't look up at them.

"Kyle!" Brenda called from the other side of the door on the video.

"This bullet was meant for you." Kyle slumped down into the chair and fiddled resigned with the gun. He put the barrel of the gun to the underside of his chin.

"Kyle? Kyle!" Brenda shouted.

The gunshot resounded from the monitor and Sharon stared stone-faced at the gruesome image.

"Thank you." Sharon nodded to her underlings to leave. As they left the room Sharon pulled her glasses off and looked up at Brenda with red eyes that were trying really hard not to cry, "are you okay?"

In that moment, Brenda was so much more focused on the intensity of Sharon's concern that the fear and grief she'd felt moments before seemed trivial. "I-I think so, yes."

"From what I just saw you nearly died." Sharon cursed that Buzz was there, more necessity to remain professional. She cleared her throat and put her glasses back on. "Okay. Who else in your division was with you?"

"As you could see from the recording, I was alone."

Sharon tilted her head at Brenda with skepticism. "Someone knocked on the door to your interview room and pulled you out."

"I did that, Captain, Chief Johnson didn't have her earwig with her and I had breaking information from Lt. Provenza." Buzz piped up and Brenda looked relieved.

Sharon glanced from Buzz to Brenda and then back to Buzz, "would you mind leaving us alone please?" Buzz looked to his superior for confirmation that he should go. He looked back to Sharon and then exited.

Sharon got up from the desk and Brenda pushed the door shut and turned the lock. "Chief, you know it's always risky to leave a suspect alone in an interview room." Sharon said, needing to get the official statements out of the way before she could allow herself to get more personal.

"I know procedure wasn't properly followed," Brenda's voice cracked as she spoke and looked down, "and it's a bad day to have it happen. I wish I'd done better but…"

Sharon pulled Brenda against her. Any view of them from outside the room was obscured by the door that they were standing directly in front of. Brenda knew she was getting this hug because no one else could see them, but on the other hand it was in the middle of an investigation; Sharon wasn't going to change in a day.

Brenda held fistfuls of Sharon's blazer as she pressed herself as hard as she could against the older woman, drawing strength from her. Sharon slipped her fingers into Brenda's hair. "I'm just so glad you're okay. It's one thing to hear about what happened," she whispered, still fighting tears, "but actually seeing the real danger you were in…"

"Please… I'm trying really hard not to cry again…" Brenda pleaded, "it's been a long day already and it's only eleven."

"I know." Sharon said softly, nuzzling her blonde waves, still holding her tight. "I just… I love you. And I'm always going to worry about you."

Brenda squeezed her eyes shut. "Seriously, shut up." Her bottom lip quivered and as she pulled away from Sharon she pressed her lips tenderly to her cheek. "I'm lookin' for someone who's a lot worse than me and I'm just askin' for this day to see if I can find him. Just this day, that's all I'm askin.'"

"I can absolutely do that. I've got seventy-two hours to file this report. So I will just resume this part of the investigation after that and in the meantime I will interview…" Sharon had to pause to make sure her anger was in check, "every single officer who had charge of that suspect between the crime scene and your interview room and castrate them. Where can I find the Deputy Sheriff who took Mr. Hayes into custody?"

"Uh, Commander Taylor's keepin' track of him." Brenda wiped at her eyes.

"Okay." Sharon nodded, preparing herself to reenter the room full of people.

"Thank you, Captain. Thanks… I love you, too." Brenda smiled adoringly at Sharon.

"Okay." Sharon ducked her head shyly as she pushed the door open and stepped out into the bullpen. Brenda had always managed to make her feel like a blushing school girl and now that their relationship had come to an end, she was back to being a giddy mess.

Sharon was ready to find everyone in the chain of custody and pull their balls out through their throats for putting Brenda in danger.

Brenda stood in the doorway watching Sharon's swinging hips walking toward Commander Taylor.

"So… you didn't give the suspect the gun he shot himself with, did you?" Gavin demanded with frustration as he marched up to Brenda. The hour and a half that had passed had done nothing to calm her nerves and Gavin's sarcasm only succeeded in twisting the knife.

"Gavin, that's not funny!" Brenda pouted, trying not to let a fresh wave of tears get the better of her.

"You know what else isn't funny? You having another in-custody death without informing your attorney." Gavin's eyes were narrowed in annoyance

"Turrell Baylor wasn't an in-custody death."

"Well, that's not what Goldman is saying and thirty minutes ago he requested a continuance based on relevant new information which he possessed and I did not."

"Goldman know about this already? How?"

Gavin rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. "From the leak in the division which you refuse to believe exists. Oh my god! I was on the verge of having this entire case thrown out. Now it's up in the air! Where's Captain Raydor?"

"She's back in her office. Why?"

"I have to talk to her before another lawsuit is filed against you by the family of your newest dead suspect. You know, if you could afford it, I could drop everyone else in my practice and defend you for a living."

"You know that man was going to kill me!" Brenda choked up.

"Maybe he thought he'd end up representing you in court." Gavin deadpanned as he walked away. That woman could bat her eyelashes and tear up all she wanted but Gavin was not playing into it this time. He needed to go and talk to Sharon and have a much needed reality check.

Up in IA he weaved around the milling personnel to get to the far end of the room of desks in the little darkened corner that Sharon Raydor called home. He knocked on the doorframe.

Sharon looked up from her computer. "Gavin, come in." She smiled.

"Back at the office sometimes I go to Angela's door and knock on it and she tells me to go away, so this is a refreshing change." He sat down across the desk from her. He scrutinized her for a moment before announcing, "you've been crying…"

Sharon took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. "Would you mind shutting the door?"

"Sure…" Gavin got up and shut the door and went around to Sharon's side of the desk, kneeling down in front of her and rubbing her shoulder. "What's wrong, Sharon?"

"I know I'm being ridiculous…" Sharon tried to play it off with a chuckle. "I just… I've had to see that video three times. I have a really hard time with the deaths of young people. I always find myself thinking 'their poor mother,' which is really just my own insecurity with my children's mortality."

"That's understandable." Gavin sympathized.

"And that compounded with the fact that he only killed himself because he didn't kill Brenda. The ethical dilemma is torturous; I feel glad that Brenda's unharmed which implies that I'm glad it was him instead of her." Sharon reached to her desk to grab a kleenex, "which I know is a completely normal response and Brenda is someone very close to me so it's natural that I'm glad she's alive. I just can't help but think… oh, his poor mother! She'll never see her son's face again… and I'm happy right now."

"The more you talk the more family resemblance I see between you and Angela."

Sharon laughed, "I shouldn't be burdening you with this. This was inappropriate and unprofessional of me."

"Hey, enough of that talk, we're friends, aren't we?"

Sharon nodded.

"You're an extremely compassionate person and you don't let a lot of people see this side of you which makes it your cross to bear alone." He stood, "I think you need a hug."

Sharon leaned into him, resting her head against his chest, the hug made somewhat awkward by the fact that she was still seated. Gavin wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

After a long moment of embracing Sharon pulled back, "thanks." She wiped at her eyes and nodded, "I needed that."

"Come on, let's go get a coffee."

"I can't, I have work to do."

"So do I, this is a working coffee. We need to talk about a report that officially washes Brenda's hands of the whole debacle. Obviously, in the interest of justice I can't ask you to just make it go away if there was fault on Brenda's part and you can't just say 'we used to sleep together, she wouldn't hurt a fly,' you know, considering she did shoot someone to death just last year."

"You're not that good at pep talks." Sharon huffed.

"What I was trying to imply is that we both care about her and you being the FID Captain and Professional Standards Officer your credo is objectivity whereas mine is keeping the feisty little blonde out of trouble by any means possible." Gavin smiled charmingly, "even if it means treating you to a venti caramel macchiato with whipped cream and an extra shot of espresso for a little oomf."

Sharon chuckled, standing and grabbing her blazer from the back of her chair, "alright, you've convinced me."

Gavin was lingering outside of the courtroom waiting for Sharon. The brunette startled when she almost ran into him. "Something wrong?"

He shook his head, "just wanted to ask you how you were doing. I know this could be hard"

"Shouldn't you be giving this speech to Brenda?" Sharon sighed.

"I think Agent Howard's taking care of that for me…" Gavin said pointedly, knowing that Fritz Howard was a bit of a sore spot for Sharon. Upon seeing pain pass through her eyes he immediately regretted it. "Besides, I may be paid to care about Brenda but I care about you for free."

"You're a very sweet man, Gavin."

"All the anxiety, all of the sleepless nights, all of the build-up… it ends now." Gavin continued, "and no one knows better than me that knowing can be harder than not knowing."

Sharon squeezed her eyes shut. "I can't have this conversation right now."

"Just as well, the judge is delivering his ruling now." Gavin pushed the door open and Sharon walked in. Brenda was already seated at the defense table, Fritz behind her. Sharon squeezed by in front of Fritz and took her seat next to him.

Sharon looked over at Fritz and caught his eye and they sat there with their eyes locked defiantly. It was one of the first times they'd set aside their differences in favor of a common interest in the six years since Sharon had stolen Brenda right from under Fritz's nose.

"Please be seated. The Family of Turrell Baylor vs. the City of Los Angeles, Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson et al. we're back on the record." The judge announced, causing everyone in the room to hold their breath. "Before my ruling, I'd like it known that whatever crimes Mr. Baylor may have committed, he was entitled to be tried in a court, not the streets of L.A. Mr. Goldman, the lack of evidence supporting a central thesis behind your pleading leaves me no choice but to grant the defense's motion for summary judgment. Case dismissed."

The gavel banged and Brenda felt her whole body relax. She turned around and locked eyes with Sharon. Sharon was overcome as she gazed into Brenda's blue eyes. In that moment, Sharon wanted to throw out everything she ever thought of as 'professional' or 'appropriate' and leap over the divider and pull Brenda into the most passionate kiss ever.

Brenda turned her attention back to Gavin and the moment was lost. Fritz and the members of Major Crimes stood to congratulate Brenda and Gavin and Sharon slipped out of the room.

Sharon was leaning against a desk in the bullpen, feeling out of place at the Major Crimes victory party when Flynn came up to her and handed her a plastic flute of champagne. "Hey."

"Hi." She said as she accepted the flute.

"We haven't always seen eye to eye… and it's not really anything personal… it's just in a cop's blood to be distrustful of IA." Flynn shrugged.

"I'm a cop, too, you know."

Flynn smiled, "sometimes we forget that. Thanks for reminding us you're on our side."

"Alright, don't go getting emotional on me." Sharon sipped the bubbly liquid and made a face. "Oh, cheap champagne. Is there anything worse than celebrating an amazing triumph with really bad champagne? What are you drinking?"

"Sparkling cider."

"That sounds good… can you sneak me some of that?"

"You rebel." Flynn teased as he went to his desk to grab her a glass of cider from his reserve.

Brenda and Gavin entered the room. "Told you I was going to win." Gavin grinned.

Brenda hugged him gratefully. "Might've told me how."

"Well, then you would have just told the leak and then where would we be?"

Sharon grabbed a champagne cup from the table and brought it over to Brenda. Their fingers brushed as the cup changed hands and Brenda smiled adoringly at Sharon.

"Everyone, to Gavin!" Flynn announced.

"To Gavin!" Brenda smiled.

"Congratulations, Chief." Sharon turned to Brenda.

"Listen, I just wanna thank you for… standing by me, I know it hasn't been easy." Brenda sipped her champagne, trying not to show her ear to ear smile.

"Well, if my job was easy they'd let Will Pope do it." Sharon joked and Brenda almost spat out her champagne. "Besides, I have a lot of practic putting up with you."

"Well thank you, Sharon…I'm very grateful to you, I really am."

"You're welcome." Sharon and Brenda locked eyes and Brenda let out a slightly shaky breath. The events that had led to the strain on their relationship and their resulting break-up had finally reached its end. Brenda didn't want to share the victory party with anyone other than Sharon and a bottle of Merlot.

Pope approached and looked at Brenda wearily. "Will, what's the matter? Something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but, uh, I need you to talk to someone without losing your temper. Think you can do that?"

"Well, I can't make any promises but I'll try." Brenda glanced back at Sharon before following Will down the hallway to the conference room.

Sharon leaned back against the desk again and Flynn nudged her shoulder to hand her the cider. Sharon smiled, "thanks."

Sharon watched Flynn walk away and looked over at Gavin talking with Fritz and she suddenly felt conspicuously out of place. She downed the cider and took her leave. She had a report to write anyway.

After a couple hours she emerged from her office, having finished the report and emailing off her final draft to all of the higher ups, she looked out into the row of desks and was surprised to see one occupied. The staff of IA tended to knock off on time anywhere between five and seven and by seven thirty if there was anyone still around it was usually because they had just come in for a night investigation.

As Sharon's office door closed the person at the desk turned and Sharon almost laughed. "You made me think one of my people was working late. I thought hell must have frozen over and I'd have to do all those things I'd only do if hell froze over."

The closer Sharon got she realized Brenda had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Sharon leaned on the desk and looked into Brenda's reddened eyes. She reached for her and tenderly tucked a curled lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "Why aren't you at your victory party?"

"Because there's nothing to celebrate. I think I'm really done for this time." Brenda sobbed.

"Sweetie… come here…" Sharon held her arms out for her and Brenda pushed herself out of the chair with a sigh and folded herself into Sharon's arms. "What happened?"

"I want to get out of this building. I've been waiting for you to come out…"

"I've been out since 1985." Sharon teased.

Brenda snorted and held onto Sharon tighter. "Can we go somewhere?"

"Where?"

"I just wanna go home. Take me back to the house."

"My house?"

"Our house." Brenda sniffled.

"Okay, sweetie," Sharon turned Brenda around but kept one arm around her as she led her toward the exit.

Once through the door Brenda pinned Sharon against the door and captured her lips in a bruising kiss. Sharon moaned into the kiss and Brenda took her by the hand and led her over to the stairs and they ascended, beelining for the master bedroom.

They fell onto the bed and Brenda was immediately working to divest Sharon of her clothing. As she pushed open Sharon's blouse, bearing her lace bra-clad breasts to Brenda's gaze her eyes welled with tears.

Sharon had been waiting for Brenda's emotional break as soon as she'd taken in her reddened eyes. "It's okay," Sharon said in a soft voice, "we don't have to do this."

"I want to." Brenda pouted, burying her face in Sharon's neck and raking her teeth over the sensitive skin.

Sharon shrugged her off, pushing her back until she could look into her eyes. Brenda wiped away the tears and looked away as they started falling harder.

"I don't have sex with crying people, it's a personal rule." Sharon ran her fingers through Brenda's hair. "Here's what we're going to do, we're going to get naked and take a nice, long, relaxing shower and we're going to get into our comfy pyjamas and we're going to talk about it."

Brenda sobbed, "I don't even have pjs here anymore."

"I'll lend you a set. How about the pink plaid cotton pants with lacy black cami?"

Brenda sniffled but nodded, "okay."

"Okay," Sharon said soothingly, coaxing her up and towards the ensuite.

Brenda awoke in the middle of the night and smiled against the bare shoulder that she was pressed against to. Her body was molded around Sharon's sleeping form and she couldn't help but feel like maybe everything would be okay after all.

Brenda gave Sharon a gentle squeeze and Sharon pushed back against her and let out a soft mm. Brenda smiled and drifted back to sleep.

In the morning Sharon got up, peppering sweet kisses all over Brenda's face before disappearing from the room. Brenda grinned and stretched out, waking up leisurely as she breathed in the delicious mingling scents of Sharon Raydor. The slight undertones of lavender, the expensive shampoo, the understated but intoxicatingly sensual perfume and a hint of sweat.

Brenda didn't ever want to wake up anywhere other than Sharon's arms ever again.

Taking the stairs two at a time, feeling ready to take on the world again, she found Sharon cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Brenda stepped up behind her and pressed into her. Sharon grinned, "I'm making pancakes."

"I see that." Brenda purred, "anything I can do to help?" Her hand snaked around Sharon's hip and slid under the waistband of Sharon's pyjama pants and plunged into the dark curls.

"Oh!" Sharon exclaimed, gripping the handle of the spatula. "That's… going to make me burn the pancakes…"

"I love this, I love you," Brenda murmured into Sharon's shoulder. Her hands both slid over the brunette's taut stomach and up over her ribs before she hugged her tightly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Sharon shifted in her arms, "would you like to set the table?"

Brenda grabbed two plates from the cupboard and set them down on the table, turning back to Sharon, distracted from her task by the bubbling emotions. "Yesterday when Buzz stopped me from opening the door and I realized that the only person I wanted by my side was you and it was a big mistake to ever have doubted that. After I almost got shot in that house… I was rattled… and when you showed up you didn't hug me or ask me how I was and I was just upset. I overreacted. I know that if there's one person in the world who would always love me and always care about me… it would be you and I'm sorry for the last month… breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I've made in as far back as I can remember."

"Then you have a short memory. Turrell Baylor?"

"I did not kill him. I did not care what happened to him. If it hadn't turned into a legal nightmare I'd do it again every time." Brenda stepped closer to Sharon, "did you hear what I said? Breaking up with you was the worst thing I've ever done and I wish I could take it back."

Sharon shrugged, "but you can't." She slipped another pancake onto the plate next to the stove. "What you did and what you said hurt me. The first near death experience made you realize you couldn't be with me, the second made you realize you couldn't live without me."

"The first one was a fluke… and I wasn't able to put us behind me, I'm always going to be drawn to you."

"I just feel like I can't live my life waiting for you to have the near death experience that tells you you can't be with me again."

"I'll take an administrative job. The city's dying to get me off the streets anyway."

Sharon shook her head, "you don't have to be on the job to have a near death experience and, besides, you'd end up hating me for taking your job away from you."

"I wouldn't, the only thing I want in the whole world is you!" She insisted, feeling tears taking over her eyes again.

"You're just overwhelmed. The outcome of the trial, the threat of federal lawsuit, sleeping in our bed, the smell of pancakes… you just think you want to come back to this… because I take care of you."

"That's not why I want to come back. Fritz takes care of me and I don't want to be with him. I want to be with you." Brenda insisted, "and I'm not even going to get jealous or broody about the fact that you've been going out with someone else because I broke up with you and I'm coming to you with my hat in my hand, Sharon, I love you."

"Brenda, stop, please." Sharon transferred the pancakes to the kitchen table. "Why don't you have some pancakes?"

"Don't try to distract me with food." Brenda took Sharon's hands. "Are you listening to what I'm saying?"

Sharon nodded, looking away when her eyes welled up. "I'm listening, Brenda, I just… you're the most schizophrenic lover I've ever had. On again, off again, on again, and on and on and on… forever."

"So what? You're going to marry Josh Lewis just to spite me?"

"Not going to get jealous or broody, my ass. I thought we agreed never to use our lapd access to check up on each other."

"Gavin gabbed."

Sharon rolled her eyes, "I'm not interested in getting married again and I certainly wouldn't marry someone just to spite you."

"Sharon, I can't imagine my life without you. Please."

"Stop."

"Please, please!"

Sharon held her hands up in resignation. "I'm not doing this with you anymore." She pulled away from Brenda and grabbed her keys from the side table on the way out the door.

"Sharon, wait!" Brenda ran after her but by the time she reached the driveway Sharon's crown vic was already pulling away. Brenda heaved a heavy sigh but resolved not to let her morale drop, even in the face of all the recent adversity.