Author's Note: I figured I've let things develop long enough, so... here's a treat for you. Or, I hope it's a treat, anyway. Little change of pace and setting to establish conflict and such.

#05: It can't be helped

"… as a result, a thick fog is expected to form in the Inaba region later tonight…"

Yue Narukami sat back against the sofa in her room and put her hands over her eyes, remembering the faint crackle that had come when the television downstairs was switched off right after she'd heard the news. It had sounded like a flat-lining heart monitor.

She hadn't offered an explanation to her younger cousin at dinner as to why a mere weather forecast bothered her so much. But then, she was too weary to explain anything at the moment. And now she sat in front of her own TV monitor, seeing in the dark reflection the ghosts of the blurry yellow images that had been appearing without fail on rainy midnights.

If you really think I'm worth saving, you're going to have to prove it. That was what Shadow Kajiko had said every night for the past few days, staring accusingly into the camera like she could see the frozen Yue helplessly watching on the other side, while the water drops drummed against the window pane, like drowning moths hoping to dry their wings on a false sun, while time dripped out of the rain gutters. You still haven't saved me yet, the Shadow's eyes said. And you're never going to. In the end, it had been right.

No wonder this Shadow had been one of the most uncomfortable to face for all of them. It knew just what to say to dredge up the worst in you, bring out all the dirty buried desires that lusted for anarchy and rebellion and corruption.

In a numb trance, Yue stood and brushed back the curtains. Haze hit her vision like chloroform – the fog was rolling in, swamping the streets, smothering all sound in a quiet shroud of gloom.

There was a buzz against her leg and a muffled ringtone. Yue clamped a hand over her pocket. Deep down, she didn't even want to answer, but it felt like she had no choice.

"Hey, uh… partner…?" She heard the phone shift on the other end of the line. "It's Yoshiko. So… you saw about the forecast, huh?"

"Yeah. I saw." With the hand not holding the phone, Yue plucked a half-folded paper crane from her desk and examined it before slowly crumpled the bird in her fingers.

"I don't know if I can go to sleep tonight," Yoshiko murmured. "Knowing that any second now they'll find a—" She broke off. "It's so awful…"

Yue let the broken bird fall out of her fist to the floor. "I know. It can't be helped."

"'Can't be helped'? What's gotten into you?" Yoshiko sounded on the verge of tears. "It shouldn't have ended like this, Narukami, we're supposed to be rescuing people!"

"We gave it our all," Yue said hollowly. "That's the best we can do."

"No… you and the guys, you gave it your all." Yoshiko sighed heavily. "This is my fault. I'm the one who let you down. I'm the one who chickened out on warning Kajiko straight up, remember? If I hadn't been making up all those crazy theories about... well, you know… she might not have even ended up in the TV in the first place!"

Yue wanted to protest, to dispel this notion from Yoshiko's head, but couldn't find the words. "I… Yoshiko…"

"I bet I know what my Shadow would be saying if she was around," said Yoshiko. "She'd say that I let this happen to Kajiko because of some stupid notion that she might have been involved with… what happened to Senpai. And when I saw what her Shadow was like I just let that convince me I was right… You should have kicked me off the team then and there."

Yue said nothing, and Yoshiko took this as silent assent.

"I get it… You didn't want to make me look bad in front of the others by calling me out on it," said Yoshiko glumly. "A good leader's got to keep morale up, right?"

It hurt to hear Yoshiko put it like that… like the lot of them were teammates, comrades-at-arms, anything other than a bunch of nosy teens looking for kicks. "Forget it, Yoshiko," muttered Yue. "I'm not a good leader. I'm not any kind of leader at all."

She closed the phone on Yoshiko's tinny words of protest, let her hand drop, let the cell phone slip through her fingers and clatter to the floor. Let her friend believe what she wanted about whose fault it was. They all knew the truth.

Yue was a fake. It made sense now, why she hadn't been strong enough to save Kajiko, why her powers had failed her. She hadn't earned her Persona the way the others had; in fact, she'd been lying to herself this whole time, pretending that they could really make a difference with this charade, that they were all going to be heroes at the end of the day. It was no wonder that her Arcana, her super-special wild-card Arcana of the chosen one, was that of the 'Fool'.

At her feet, the phone began to ring again. Wanting to ignore it but not wanting to wake up her sleeping cousin, Yue knelt down and picked up the cell so she could silence the calls, maybe turn it off entirely. Expecting it to be Yoshiko again, she glanced at the caller ID. Then, after staring at the name, she opened the phone and put it to her ear.

"Yo! Yue-chan!" the voice said. "It's me, Chiyuu! Boy, am I glad you gave me your number all that time ago! So… is your aunt around?"

"Sorry, she's out," answered Yue, a little confused. "You want to talk to her?"

"No, what I meant was… D'you think you could sneak out and go someplace? Like, without getting caught?"

"I'm flattered but… I don't know if this is the time," Yue told the boy weakly. "It's a little late for an evening out." She didn't add that the mood would be rather dampened by knowing that somewhere out there, a girl was being murdered by her own inner thoughts made monstrously manifest.

"No, no, I… that's not what this is about!" Chiyuu clarified frantically. "I wouldn't do something like that, not tonight! Sheesh! Just what kind of jerk d'you take me for?"

"Oh… I don't really follow you, then," admitted Yue. "I'm sorry, what did you want?"

"Well, what do you think, you dope? You heard the forecast, right? It's already starting to get foggy! We don't have much time left!" Chiyuu began to earnestly babble out a plan. "I was just thinking, couldn't Yoshiko get us into Junes even though it's closed? Her family does run the place; she's got to be able to get her hands on the key. And don't worry, I've got tons of energy drinks for everyone so we stay awake for this! Just tell me how soon you can be there so we can get inside that TV before it's too late!"

Yue shut her eyes and shook her head. "Chiyuu… It's already too late."

"Whaaat?" exclaimed the boy. "You mean they already found a body?"

"No, I haven't heard anything yet, but—"

"Then we still have a chance! Come on, Narukami, someone's life is on the line here! We can't give up until—"

"Until one of us gets killed, too?" Yue finished. "We nearly didn't make out it last time, and we're in worse shape now than we were going in then."

"Well, I'm going in anyway!" Chiyuu said, shrill and severe. "I didn't think you'd punk out so easily, but I guess I was wrong about you! You know what? I'm calling up Yoshiko right now and asking her for the key!"

"No… Chiyuu, please…" Yue clutched the phone to her ear. "Don't do this. You'll never make it out alive. I don't want to lose… any of you."

She thought she could hear a cry of anger, which was followed by the distorted thump of a fist striking wood. Then Chiyuu was back, his breath coming in heavily. "I know…" he muttered. "I just can't stand the idea of sitting back and letting someone die! It's not fair! But if I go in on my own… that's just as bad, isn't it? I'm letting myself get killed. And then if I start pulling the rest of you into it…"

"Promise you won't go in," said Yue in a very distant sort of way. "You have to do that for me."

"I… ugh… fine, I promise I won't go in tonight without you. You're the boss, after all. I trust you." Desperately, Chiyuu added, "B-but… if you change your mind about going in together, just say the word! Call me, okay?" Then, after some fumbling, the phone went dead.

Immediately afterwards, it began to ring again. Someone must have been waiting on hold while Yue spoke to Chiyuu. "Is… is this Yue Narukami?" asked a tentative male voice. "Do I have the right number?"

Yue sighed. "Yukihiro… you don't need to check every time. It's still my number."

"I-I know, it's just…" The boy gave a nervous, breathless laugh. "Well, I did call the wrong number this one time. Isn't that silly?"

"Yes," agreed Yue quietly. "It's very silly… What's this about?"

Yukihiro's voice became more sad and serious. "I just wanted to see how you were holding up," he said. "I heard the weather report on TV… Does it mean that it's too late to save Kaji-chan?"

Again, Yue found herself tongue-tied. She managed a brief syllable of acknowledgement.

"It's pretty upsetting, isn't it?" Yukihiro said glumly. "She used to be such a nice girl… But you know, thinking about it… made me want to thank you. For saving me. I know it's not much good to hear right now but if it wasn't for you, the same thing that's going to happen to Kajiko would have happened to me."

He was quiet for a few seconds, and Yue didn't use the chance to speak.

"Maybe it was fated to be like this," Yukihiro's sad voice went on. "I'm not so sure we can save everyone anymore… but that doesn't mean we should give up on the next time! I know you really did try your hardest to save Kaji-chan, just like you tried your hardest to rescue me. And since we know how to predict who will be targeted, we're still the best hope the killer's victims have got."

"I'm a little tired right now," Yue interrupted, as the skin on her face prickled with the icy needles of anxiety. "It was nice talking to you, Yuki-kun. Thanks for calling; I'll see you at school." Swiftly she closed the phone, turned it all the way off, and then stuffed it in her school bag. Only after all this was done did she slowly let out the breath of air she'd been holding.

The time on the wall clock told her it was after ten. Perhaps something would still appear on the Midnight Channel; Yue didn't want to know what it would be. She draped her gray jacket over the screen, just in case, and, fumbling, turned off the light.

So I mean I guess the treat was a sad, contemplative picture of despair but the point was here come the rest of the genderbends! Do let me know what you think of them.