A/N: Posting a bit early tonight as I won't be around during normal posting time. Sorry for any confusion.
I walked back to my room, leaning heavily against the railing along the wall, stunned at my own stupidity and consumed with my own thoughts. I'd walked into Dr. Gilfried's traps more than once during that session.
But more than that, I was angry at how right she was, about everything. Well, almost everything.
I didn't want to take an antidepressant and it wasn't because I was purposely sabotaging my recovery. I didn't like the idea of an antidepressant. I needed to get through this on my own, with the help of my family and Maura. If Dr. Gilfried thought otherwise, too bad.
I was pissed off. I was pissed off because she was right that I was depressed, and I hated that I was. But I was also pissed off at myself because she had been right about my fear of failing. She had been right on the money with it.
I was terrified of failing. But I wasn't sabotaging myself. I was working my ass off in physical therapy. I was grudgingly participating in my psychotherapy.
I was afraid of failing, but I wasn't setting out to fail. Somehow, I had to make that clear to everyone, without actually admitting to them that I was as afraid as I was.
I was wound up in my own thoughts when I got back to my room and found Maura waiting for me.
"Hey!" I said, surprised.
"Hi!" She smiled. "Are you all right?"
"Mmm," I said, even though I wasn't. But seeing Maura made everything better.
"Tough therapy session?"
"Yeah," I said, "I don't particularly enjoy that."
"You'd have a better time if you'd actually stop fighting me every step of the way," Dr. Gilfried said from behind me. "You forgot your crutches." She handed them to me with a smile as she walked in and I took them from her, surprised I'd left them behind and made it all the way back to my room without them.
"She has never really embraced therapy, despite my attempts to encourage her otherwise," Maura said with a smile at Dr. Gilfried.
"Maura, you remember Dr. Gilfried, and Dr. Gilfried, this is Maura Isles, as I'm sure you remember."
"Yes. Dr. Isles, it's lovely to see you again." Dr. Gilfried said, shaking Maura's hand.
I looked between Maura and Dr. Gilfried and started to worry. Maura was gearing up to say something and Dr. Gilfried looked like she was in no hurry to leave.
"Jane, is it okay if we discuss your progress with Dr. Isles?" Dr. Gilfried was closing the door to my room behind her.
"Um…" I looked at Maura, who looked all too eager to hear about my progress. "Okay?"
"Good," Dr. Gilfried said as she sat down on the guest chair.
I sat down on my bed, legs over the side, and Maura situated herself next to me, and took my hand. "Are you all right, Jane?"
"Um… I'm sure that Dr. Gilfried has other patients to see today."
"Nope, you were my last one." Her grin was genuine, but I could tell she knew I felt it was more sinister.
"Dr. Isles, Jane is doing really well," Dr. Gilfried started out. "She's surpassing all of her physical goals, and continues to impress both her physical therapist and Dr. Grossberg, her attending physician."
Maura looked at me and beamed, wrapping an arm around my waist and giving me a squeeze.
"Although Jane is still reluctant to participate in therapy with me, she does participate. And I realize that it's something she neither enjoys, nor actually wants to do. Yet she does it, and I'm impressed with her. For someone who has been through what she's been through, she's very strong. And I'm not just referring to her accident."
Dr. Gilfried smiled at me. "You've every right to be proud of yourself, Jane."
I didn't particularly feel that way, and I shrugged.
"While you're here, Dr. Isles, maybe we could go over a plan for when Jane is released to outpatient therapy. I feel that Jane needs some exercises in confidence building. Or to put it in Jane's own terms, badassness building."
"I agree," I heard Maura say. "I have concerns about her. She seems depressed."
"I'm sitting right here," I muttered.
"Jane, do I have permission to talk about this with Dr. Isles?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, Maura doesn't miss a trick. I'm sure she knows everything you're about to tell her anyway. Talk about whatever you want." I rested my head in my hands. Then I waited. Maura squeezed me with the arm she still had wrapped around me.
"Clinically, Jane does seem depressed. I sense it stems as much from the issues she dealt with when you got together with your fiance as it does her accident and subsequent injuries. But this also isn't an uncommon side effect of a head injury. I recommended pharmacological therapy today in conjunction with her other therapies, but Jane is hesitant to try that," Dr. Gilfried said neutrally.
"Why?" Maura asked, turning to look at me, fixing her wide, hazel eyes on my face in confusion.
"Because I don't like the idea of taking a happy pill. I want to get better and work through this, but I don't want to start taking pills," I explained.
"They are not happy pills, Jane. If you have a chemical imbalance as a result of your head injury, they can help to restore the balance you need. There is no shame in taking them," Maura said gently.
"Look, I really don't want to take an antidepressant. Can I not try to get better without them? At least give me a chance to work through some of this stuff on my own?" I argued.
"No one can force you to take them, Jane. But I would recommend that you try them," Maura encouraged.
"I don't want them." I was starting to get testy.
"I think we'll let this go for now," Dr. Gilfried said, "But Dr. Isles, in a few weeks Jane is going to be released to outpatient therapy. At that time I'd like to see her start a few activities that will help her to gain some confidence back."
"Okay," Maura said.
"Jane, do you still own a firearm?" Dr. Gilfried asked.
"I turned in my service weapon when I left the BPD, and my NYPD service weapon got locked up every night. I do have a Glock that I own personally. It should be in storage with the rest of my belongings."
"Okay. When you are released to outpatient therapy, I want you to go to a firing range and get back into the swing of things. Also, provided that you're cleared for it medically, and I will run it by Dr. Grossberg to make sure, I want you to find an obstacle course of some kind to work out on."
"I can see if Cavanaugh will let me use the BPD's course. He said he wanted to see me anyway." These sounded like great ideas, I was fully on board with them.
"Good," Dr. Gilfried said. "Your goal when you start outpatient therapy is to look for tasks and activities that are similar to what you would normally do when you were working. The idea is to not only prepare you for going back to work, but also to build confidence."
"Does that mean I get to drag people in off the streets and interrogate them?" I asked hopefully.
"NO!" Dr. Gilfried and Maura responded simultaneously.
"Gosh, I was just kidding."
"No, you weren't," Maura said with a smile. "But joking aside, these are great ideas. And I think the police academy still does their tactical driving classes on weekends. We could sign up for one of those together. That would be fun."
"Can we take the class in your Mercedes?" I asked.
"No," Maura said firmly.
"Dammit."
Dr. Gilfried smiled at us. "Dr. Isles were you going to stay for dinner with Jane?"
"I had planned on it, yes."
"Good. Why don't you take Jane to the restaurant down the block, the burger place? And have her back here by eight o'clock. That's the shift change, and I'll just tell the nurses on duty to turn a blind eye."
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Yes, Jane. Eat and come back. No booze, no passing go, no collecting two hundred dollars. And don't ever tell me I don't do anything nice for you," Dr. Gilfried said with a grin.
I got up to get my coat and boots from the closet, remembering to use my crutches this time.
"I'm just going to run down and bring the car to the front entrance," Maura said quickly. "I'll be right back up."
When Maura walked out I turned to Dr. Gilfried. "Hey Doc?"
"Yes, Jane?"
"I'm not saying this because of what you did for me tonight, okay? But I want you to know that no matter how much I don't like therapy, I think you're a good person. Thank you."
She smiled at me. "You're welcome, Jane. See you tomorrow. Be careful out there and don't you dare get hurt."
"I won't. See you tomorrow."
I sat in the guest chair and laced up my boots. I pulled on my coat and grabbed my crutches again. I didn't particularly want to use them, but I didn't want to get Dr. Gilfried in trouble for letting me sneak out for a couple of hours. I made my way to the elevator, giving the nurses at their station a surreptitious glance. Dr. Gilfried was there, talking to them, and one of the nurses made a discreet shooing motion with her hand, and gave me a smile. I pressed the down button on the elevator, and made my escape.
Maura had just parked the car and was getting out to come and get me as I walked out the front doors to her.
"Why didn't you wait for me?"
"I wanted to get out before anyone changed their minds," I grinned.
Maura smiled and helped me into the car. When she got in and closed her door, I leaned over the center console and kissed her tenderly. "I know it's only been two days, but I've missed you."
"I missed you too," she said as she kissed me back, the kiss heating up quickly.
I cupped her cheek and kissed her a moment longer before I pulled away. We were in a parked car in front of the rehabilitation center. That wasn't the time or the place for anything more than what we were doing, but if we kept kissing, I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't try to take Maura then and there.
Maura looked at me understandingly, giving me one last peck on the lips before she put the car in gear and drove us down the road to the restaurant.
We walked in and were seated a little after five thirty. I looked at the menu and decided I wanted one of everything on it.
"This place has awesome food. Ma brought me a burger from here the first day I was allowed solid food."
"They have a salmon dish that's actually quite good," Maura remarked as she looked over her menu.
"You've been here before?"
"I met with Jeffrey Sheridan here to discuss your placement in his facility," Maura said quietly.
"Shit, Maura, we didn't have to come here then," I said, embarrassed for her and the way she surely had to put her pride aside to make the request she did.
"It's okay," she said, shrugging as she continued to peruse the menu.
"I cannot imagine what that meeting must have been like. You are far stronger than I ever will be."
"It was decidedly unpleasant. Although he lacks the penchant his brother has for rubbing salt in wounds, he can be quite defensive of his brother and his brother's feelings. I practically had to beg him to open up a bed for you. It was... mortifying." Maura looked up from her menu. "And it looks like we're going to get to relive it now."
I looked back over my shoulder toward the door, and watched as Jeffrey and William Sheridan made their way in. And because our luck was so spectacular, the hostess sat them at the table directly across from us.
"What do you want to do, Maura? You wanna get out of here?" I asked quietly. Neither of them had noticed us yet.
"No. I will not run from them. We were here first and we're going to enjoy a good meal together," Maura said firmly.
"Yeah, but you don't have to see him," I hissed out the side of my mouth, while I jerked my thumb toward the table across from us. "We can ask the waitress to move us," I suggested.
"That would just draw attention to us," Maura whispered back.
"So what do you want to do then?"
"Order our food and act normal?" Maura asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"That's it?" I asked.
"Yes," Maura hissed, burying her face back in the menu.
"Of all the restaurants in Boston-"
"Jane, Jeffrey works right down the block in the same facility you're staying in. It's not the least bit unusual that he would meet his brother here for dinner."
I looked up over my menu toward the table across from us to see Jeffrey and William staring right at us.
"Don't look now, Maur, but we've been spotted," I said with a groan.
"Maura?" William stood up and walked across the way to us, arms outstretched as if he expected a hug from Maura.
"William," Maura said, a tight smile on her face, clearly ignoring his stance and want for an embrace.
"How are you?" he asked awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels.
"I'm well. And you?" Maura asked politely.
William shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I um, wow. It's been a long time since we've spoken," he said to no one in particular. "Are you uh, all recovered? From the baby, I mean."
I watched Maura's expression harden. She was either on the verge of tears or ready to tear William's heart out. I remembered what Maura had just said about William's skill at rubbing salt in people's wounds, and realized Maura probably wanted to both cry and rip William's heart out.
I cleared my throat and sat up taller in my seat.
He looked over at me, almost as if he had forgotten I was there. His expression darkened. "Hi Jane." He tried to make himself sound friendly, but he failed miserably.
"Hi," I said.
"I heard about what happened to you. It's good to see you doing so well." He hunched over slightly, hands still in his pockets, looking down at his feet as he spoke to me. He sounded genuine, but his body language told me otherwise.
In the past it was always hard to not like William, because he was always so much like Maura, at least at first. He'd had that same awkward inability to have mundane conversations like Maura had in the beginning. Maura seemed to have outgrown that issue though, whereas William's problem seemed to be worsening with time.
I wanted to remember William as the sweet man that had swept Maura off her feet, but instead I remembered how it felt when he'd stolen Maura away from me, and how he'd treated Maura right after I left. It made it easier to do what I did next.
"Thank you," I said politely. "I am doing much better than I was." I looked over to Maura, who sat there stone faced. "We were actually just leaving," I said, standing up.
"What?" Maura asked.
"Yeah, um, I have to get back to the rehab," I said quietly as I put my coat on and handed Maura hers.
"Oh," William said quietly. "It was, uh, nice to see you, Maura. I was hoping we could meet up soon. Just to talk," he added quickly.
I wrapped my arm around Maura's waist. To anyone else, the gesture would have been a clear indication that Maura and I were together, but William's stunted social skills didn't pick up on that.
"I don't think that's a very good idea, William. I'm sorry, but we have to go. Take care," Maura said as she handed me my crutches and we walked out, giving the hostess an excuse about me not feeling well to explain our sudden departure.
"I'll call you," William said quickly to our backs as we walked out. I felt Maura stiffen next to me. I turned and gave him a dirty look, and he readily returned it, rage beginning to cover the contours of his face.
I quickened my pace as much as I could, and was relieved to see that William had sat back down with his brother as we passed the restaurant's windows. Jeffrey looked like he was trying to calm William down, his hand on William's forearm in a placating manner.
"Now what?" Maura asked when we got in the car.
"Are you all right?" I asked, surprised that Maura was so ready to just continue on with our evening after that.
"Yes. I think so," Maura's voice was shaky.
"Do you want to just go back to the rehab and stay there?" Neither one of us had been prepared for that encounter. I was upset by William's desire to be back in touch with Maura, and genuinely worried about how he had reacted to our brushoff.
"No. No, I'll be fine. Let's just get out of here and see if there's another restaurant around," Maura said, turning on the car and taking the wheel with steadier hands than mine would have been at that point.
We drove around for twenty minutes and couldn't find anything but fast food places. Maura was unusually quiet during the drive, politely turning down each fast food option as we passed it.
"Look, just drive through the McDonald's over there and we can eat in the car." I knew I would never be able to get Maura to actually go inside the McDonald's to eat. It was bad enough I was asking her for their food.
"Do you know how bad that food is for you? And if we go through the drive through I can't gauge the cleanliness of the restaurant," Maura argued.
"Live a little," I said, exasperated.
Maura sighed and pulled the car into the drive through line. I ordered two cheeseburgers and a large fries, along with a large Coke, and watched as Maura tried to control her tongue and not hold up the drive through line. Maura ordered a salad and a bottled water.
We got our food and pulled into the back of the parking lot. Maura left the car running for the heat, and we dug into our meals.
"Try not to get lettuce all over the car," I laughed as she tried to balance the container of salad on her lap between the seat and the steering wheel.
"Hold this." She shoved the salad container at me and pushed her seat back as far as it would go.
"That better?" I asked as she took her salad back.
"Yes," she said stiffly. I couldn't tell if she was still upset about the run in with William or if she was just aggravated by the food choice I had made for us.
I ate my first cheeseburger and watched her quietly. Crumpling up the wrapper, I tossed it into the bag our food came in and dug out my fries. "Want one?" I asked, holding the container out to her.
"Well, maybe just one," she said, taking a single fry out and popping it into her mouth. Just by her response, I could tell that she was starting to feel better.
I pulled another fry out and held it in front of her. "Want another one?"
Instead of taking the fry from me, she grabbed it with her mouth, taking my finger into her mouth with her.
"Hey!" I squealed, then realized what she was doing. "Oh." I pulled my finger out of her mouth slowly, but not before she'd had the chance to run her tongue around the tip of it in a circle. "Oh," I said again, blushing. I understood what that meant, and it sent a pleasant chill down my spine.
She went back to her salad without saying anything, but I could see her grinning from ear to ear.
"We should talk about Sara," Maura said suddenly.
"Right, because right after you did what you just did there, I want to talk about my female nurse," I deadpanned.
"She's married. And straight, Jane," Maura said pointedly.
"We were straight once too. And besides, my mother thinks I'm a marriage wrecker anyway," I said with a shrug.
"She doesn't think that," Maura said, scowling at me.
"She automatically assumed it!" I said with a laugh.
"Well, it's not true and that's not where I was heading with this conversation," Maura said, smiling despite herself.
I laughed. "I know. She has another opportunity. I think you should let her take it."
"Are you going to be okay with that?"
"Yeah. I can bathe myself now, and I can get to and from meals and therapy on my own. Someone in worse condition than me would be better off with her services," I said confidently.
Maura smiled at me. "Her new patient won't be ready for her until the week after next. Should we tell her that it'll be okay for her to go work for the new patient then?"
"Sure. I don't want to put her out of work before her next job is ready, but you're the one footing the bill for her services," I pointed out.
"I think it will work out for the best if we let her decide on her last day, but we'll tell her she can stay right up until she goes to work with her new patient if she chooses. How is that?" Maura asked, stealing another one of my fries.
"I think that's the perfect solution." I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Maur, thank you. For hiring her, and getting me into that facility. I can't imagine how you must have felt to approach Jeffrey like that."
"It wasn't easy," Maura said, closing her eyes with a small sigh as she replayed the memory in her head. "Easier, perhaps, than trying to approach William, but still, it was not one of the easiest things I've done. I had to swallow a lot of pride, and he wasn't exactly happy to be meeting with me."
"You are so brave, Maura," I said with conviction. "I don't know anyone else in this world that would have done the things that you've done, especially after all you've been through, to get an estranged friend somewhere safe so she could heal. I am eternally grateful to you for that."
Maura turned toward me and gave me a tearful smile. "Not friend, Jane. I did that for the person I loved most in the world. And I'd do it over again, if I had to."
I leaned over and kissed her tenderly. She cupped my cheek and ran her thumb on my cheekbone as I moved back into my own seat. "I love you, Maura. You are my everything."
She gave me a sly grin as she reached over and took the last fries out of my container and popped them into her mouth. She finished chewing, watching me the entire time, before she finally said, "I love you too, beautiful girl".
I blushed and looked down. "Ma says the place has a long waiting list."
"It does," Maura acknowledged, bringing our conversation back on track. "However a contribution from the Isles Foundation seemed to have created an opening for you."
"Maura, you didn't bribe him, did you?" I asked, completely shocked.
"Of course not!"
"Think of the hives, Maura."
"Okay, technically the Isles Foundation made a donation and then a bed opened up," she said, eyes wide at the implication of bribing someone. Then, finally, she exhaled and acknowledged that it might really have been a bribe. She sighed. "It was one of many, many strings I had to pull for you. By that point, it no longer mattered how ethical it was. I needed to get you somewhere safe, with quality care. That was all that mattered."
"You're amazing," I said, watching her in admiration.
"I'd do anything I could for you, Jane."
"I know. You prove it every day. It's one of the millions of reasons why I love you. And I hope you know I'd do the same for you, too."
"You already have, many times."
"And I always will, Maura."
She smiled at me and leaned in for a kiss. Her lips trembled against mine, and I realized Maura had a lot of emotions to sort out at that moment.
"Seeing William threw you for a loop though, didn't it?" I asked gently, watching her as she got herself settled back fully into the driver's seat.
"Yeah," she said stiffly, staring down at her hands, unaware that she'd even used a colloquialism.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She looked back up at me quickly. "Yes. No. I don't know. I mean, there's not much to talk about. Seeing him was difficult but you got me out of there before we really had to interact much."
"Did you want to talk to him? I thought it was weird that he wanted to meet up with you. Didn't you?" I was suspicious of his motives, especially considering how angry he looked as we left.
"That was strange. I haven't heard from or seen him since I notified his attorney of my miscarriage. He left a scathing voicemail not long after that, and then I never heard from him again," she paused, taking a deep breath. "I wonder what he wanted. I have no desire to speak to him though, so your ruse to get out of the restaurant was very well timed."
"I just didn't want him to hurt you, and I thought getting out of there was the right thing to do," I said quickly. I think Maura understood that my ploy to get us out of there hadn't stemmed from jealousy, but rather from a desire to protect Maura from any further hurt on William's behalf.
"No, I definitely didn't want to speak to him. I can't believe he was going to fight me for full custody of the baby. Even despite the breakup, I would have gladly shared custody with him. He told me I was unfit to be a mother," Maura spat out, shuddering.
"WHAT?!"
"He said I was cold and deceitful and no child should ever be left in my care," she said quietly, looking down at her hands.
"Take me back to that restaurant. I'll kill him! I'll wrap this crutch around his neck and twist it until his head pops off, and I'll shove my other crutch so far up his ass that it'll come back out of his neck where his head was," I fumed.
"He was hurt and lashing out," Maura said lamely.
"Don't defend him! There's no excuse for what he did to you. Maura, it's like he didn't even know you!"
"No," she argued quietly. "I think he did know me. He knew me well enough to say exactly what would hurt me the most."
"It was still wrong, Maura. I was always incredibly jealous of him, and always told myself that I couldn't hate him because you loved him so much, but now I hate him. And if I'm ever alone with him, he's not going to be able to get anybody else pregnant by the time I'm done with him!"
"He also accused me of causing my own miscarriage," Maura admitted, looking up at me with such hurt in her eyes.
I took her hands and held them between my own. "The man is a doctor. Surely he understands the concept of spontaneous abortion."
"I could see why he was suspicious," she replied, looking back down at our hands together. "Our marriage had been called off and he was fighting me for full custody before the baby was even born. I miscarried the day after he served me with papers from his attorney demanding full custody of the child once it was born. Still, I would have never harmed the baby."
"I know that, Maura. And he should have known that too."
"It speaks volumes about his character. And I thought I knew him so well," Maura said sadly.
"Sometimes people don't turn out to be who we expect them to be," I said simply.
"At least with William, that was the case," Maura agreed, taking her hands from mine and grabbing the fork she'd been using to shift some of the lettuce around in her salad. I realized Maura was done talking about William and the baby for the time being, and I let it go. I reached into the bag and took out my second cheeseburger, and started to eat it slowly. The silence between us wasn't uncomfortable, but Maura was definitely trapped in her own thoughts.
I sipped at my soda and belched, just so I could take Maura's attention away from whatever was haunting her.
"Jane," she tried to say seriously, but I could hear the laugh in her voice.
"What?" I said innocently, burping once more.
"Really?" Maura asked, grinning.
"That's my line!" I said to her, and I knew that she was going to be okay.
"That's gross," she pointed out, gathering up our trash and putting it all back into the bag it originally came in.
"Hey, to know me is to love me. Burps 'n all," I said forcefully.
"Burps and all," Maura agreed as she got out of the car to toss out our garbage. She got back into the car and sniffed.
"It smells like fried foods in here now," she complained.
"I guess you'll have to air it out then," I said, dripping with sarcasm. "Just be happy it doesn't smell like my burp," I added with a grin, and she grimaced.
I looked at the clock. We still had almost an hour before I had to be back at the rehab. Maura yawned.
"You must be exhausted, Maura."
"I am," she admitted.
"Do you want to take me back and go home to sleep?"
"Nope," she said firmly.
"Do you want to take me back and sleep with me?" I asked hopefully, taking Maura's hand in my own again.
"As nice as that sounds, I really will need to go home tonight and sleep in my own bed. I'm sorry, Jane." Maura sounded so forlorn. I just wanted to curl up with her and hold her.
"You don't have to apologize for that. I know we still have an hour before I have to be back, but let's go back now. You can get me settled into bed, and then go home and go to sleep. I hate that you're this tired, and it scares me that you're driving around on so few hours of sleep," I said gently, making sure she knew I wasn't trying to get rid of her.
"Are you sure?" She looked at me sadly.
"Yeah. You're exhausted, Maura. I'm so glad you surprised me tonight though. And it was nice to get out of that place for a little while," I said cheerfully, trying to show her that it was okay for her to go home and rest.
"Dr. Gilfried was kind to suggest it," Maura said.
"Yes she was."
Maura drove us back to the rehabilitation center and walked me upstairs, even though I told her she didn't need to do that.
"I want to. I miss you. I have no idea what day I'll be able to come back and see you again this week, and it's upsetting me. So let me bring you back to your room," she argued, arm wrapped around my waist.
We took the elevator upstairs and Maura waited in the guest chair for me to get changed in the bathroom. By the time I came back out, she was fast asleep in the chair, her head leaning to the side in what looked like a very uncomfortable position.
"Baby, wake up," I whispered to her, leaning in close.
"Mmm," she mumbled.
"Maura, you can't sleep there like that. Get in the bed," I said, gently shaking her shoulder.
"I should go home," she said, still half asleep.
"You can't drive like this, Maur. You know you can't. Come on," I said, cupping one of her cheeks. Even half asleep, she nuzzled up against my touch.
She opened her eyes and got up reluctantly, moving over to sit on the side of the bed. I got up and closed the door to my room, then pulled a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt out of the closet for her. "Put these on."
She took them from me carefully, her movements sluggish and sloppy. I wondered how much sleep she'd gotten over the past two days. I was willing to bet the amount was none.
"How much sleep did you get last night?" I asked her.
"None," she said, confirming my suspicions.
"Maura! You didn't have to come here tonight if you didn't sleep last night. I love you, and I miss you terribly when you're not here, but it's dangerous for you to be out driving like this. You know that!" I scolded.
"I just wanted to see you," she said sleepily, as she fumbled with the buttons on her shirt.
"And I'm happy I got to spend the evening with you. I worry about you though. You're working really hard, and it's not easy for you to come all the way here and then go back out to Beacon Hill all the time."
"Mmm," Maura was actually falling asleep while she was getting undressed. It was like the tentacles of sleep didn't want to let her go once she had dozed off in the chair.
"Here, let me do that for you, okay?" I asked, pushing her hands gently away from the buttons of her shirt. Once I got the buttons open it was easy to get her shirt changed.
"Lie back, on the bed," I told her, and she swung her legs up and onto the bed. "I'm going to take your pants off." I realized how ridiculous I sounded.
"Mm, okay, but no hanky panky, Jane," Maura said, half asleep.
"No baby, not here, not tonight," I said with a grin.
I slid her slacks off of her and slid the yoga pants up to her hips. "Butt up," I ordered, and she complied so I could bring the pants up to her waist. I walked around the bed and pulled the covers down on my side.
"Roll over here, so I can pull the covers down." Maura rolled onto her side, and I walked back around the bed and pulled the covers down from where she had just been situated. I flicked off the lights, sent a text to Ma to tell her that Maura was staying with me, and to look in on Bass and Acantha. Then I set an alarm on my phone for four-thirty, so Maura could get up and go home to shower before work.
I crawled into bed with Maura, pulled the covers up around us, and spooned behind Maura. I didn't care what the people working at the rehab thought. That night I was going to sleep holding Maura in my arms, and if they didn't like it, I'd be sure to remind them of where their last giant donation came from.
"Good night, Maura. I love you."
Maura sighed in contentment, already fast asleep. To me it was the most beautiful sound in the world.