A/N: Sorry for the weird posting schedule this week. I was away on business all last week and this weekend I have family obligations that have prevented me from posting at my usual 8pm New York time schedule. At least I was still able to do the Wednesday/Sunday updates, even if they were earlier than normal. This coming week, I should be able to post at 8pm again. Thanks for bearing with me.

"I don't care if they think it's inappropriate, Maura. You're my girlfriend. We slept on the same bed together last night. It's not like we had sex in the rehab center!" I argued with her as she got changed back into the clothes she wore the night before.

"Jane, I just don't want them to tell me I can't come and spend the night here anymore. It's not appropriate for us to sleep crammed into a tiny hospital bed together like that. Especially all wrapped up in each other," she said rationally back to me.

"What was I supposed to do, let you drive home in your sleep?" I snapped back.

"No. But it would have been better to call up for a cot," Maura said gently.

"I wasn't sleeping on a cot last night," I huffed.

"No, but I would have."

Maura was right, of course, but I wasn't giving up on this argument. "You couldn't even put your pajamas on yourself. How was I going to get you into the cot, if they'd brought one up? Besides, I liked sleeping with you," I said, quieting down. "You said yourself you don't know when you're going to be able to come back this week. At least last night gave me something to hold me over until you can come back again," I said contritely.

Maura sighed, realizing it wasn't a conversation worth pursuing. What was done was done, and I knew that she knew it. Instead, she folded the clothes I had given her to wear the night before and placed them in the hamper in the corner of the room. She walked back over to where I was sitting on the bed and gave me a chaste kiss.

"Thank you for setting an alarm for me. You should go back to sleep. You need your rest too," she said quietly.

"I slept really well last night, wrapped up with you. I don't think I'll be able to sleep again without you." I hugged her to me and held on to her. "I wish you didn't have to go," I whispered against her lips as I kissed her once more.

"I wish I didn't have to either. Will you call me tomorrow and let me know that you've gotten to the hospital safely? And again when you're back here?"

"Sure," I said. It would be nice to have an excuse to call her, even if I didn't really need one.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Maura offered again.

"No, but thank you. I managed to go to the gynecologist all by myself before my injury, I'm sure I'll manage now," I sassed.

Maura smiled, but her tone was serious. "You know that's not what I meant. I could go with you to make sure the doctor runs all of the appropriate tests and answers all of your questions."

"I know you could, and that's sweet of you. But thank you anyway. I am sure everything will be fine, and it would be better for me to talk to the doctor in private," I added.

"You know you can tell me anything, right Jane?" Maura looked a little disappointed. "I mean, I'm a doctor too."

"I do know that. And I'm not hiding anything from you. I told you how I felt and what was keeping me from being intimate. That was the honest truth, Maura," I said sweetly.

"Okay," she said, kissing me on the top of my head. "I'll talk to you later."

"Have a good day at work, Maur," I said with a tinge of sadness as she got ready to leave me.

"Have a good day in therapy. Work hard."

"I will. You work… less hard than you have been," I said with a grin.

"I'll try."

I knew she wouldn't give anything less than one hundred percent of her effort at work, no matter how tired she was, and that was what worried me.

"Be careful getting home, okay?"

"I will. Don't worry, Jane. Don't forget this is normal for me," she reminded me gently. There had been a time when that was normal for me too.

"I know, but I still worry. I love you, you know."

"I know," she beamed at me. "I love you, too." She blew me a kiss as she walked out.

I laid back in the bed, resigned to watching the hands on the clock tick closer to six, when I'd get up and start my day. There was no way that I wanted to stay in this place for four more weeks. Not with knowing that Maura was waiting for me at home.

I went off and did therapy with Derrick. He was neither impressed nor unimpressed with me. At least he didn't yell at me for not concentrating. I thought I did a good job, consciously working on my walk, but compliments from Derrick were always few and far between.

I walked back to my room after therapy to find Sara waiting for me. I'd decided to carry my crutches instead of using them. I balanced using the handrail along the wall. I figured if I got tired along the way, I could just use my crutches. I didn't need them though, and was proud of myself.

"Hey Jane," Sara said with a smile when I arrived back in my room.

"Hi Sara, how are you?"

"Good. I spoke to Dr. Isles this morning," she said.

"Oh. Did you two work out your schedule?" I asked, already sorry that Sara would be leaving.

"Yes. My last day with you will be a week from Friday. Are you okay with that?" she asked, gently.

"I'm going to miss your company, but I am okay with that," I said, giving her a smile.

"My new patient would benefit more from my services than you can right now. You're just doing too well to have a private nurse," she explained.

"I guess that's a good thing."

"It definitely is, Jane."

I decided to take a shower instead of a bath, and went off to lunch in the dining room. I'd noticed that since I was back from my weekend pass at home, that there were fewer patients here. I hadn't seen Amanda at all since I'd been back, and found out a few days later that Amanda had been discharged home. She had reached maximum medical improvement, one of the nurses told me. I realized that was medical speak for "she's not getting any better and there's nothing more we can do for her".

I really hoped they'd never say that about me.

I made my way back to Dr. Gilfried's office after lunch, dreading whatever emotionally turbulent topic she was going to make me talk about that day.

"Hi Jane."

"Hi," I said. "Thanks again for last night. It was so good to get out of here for a little while, even though I had just gotten back from my weekend pass."

"It's good to see you gaining more independence. Though I have to say the director wasn't pleased with me this morning. I didn't think I'd get caught by the director, of all people, letting a patient escape for a couple of hours," Dr. Gilfried said with a shrug.

"I'm sorry about that. He and his brother walked into the restaurant after we'd been seated," I said sheepishly.

"He said the two of you didn't stick around?" Dr. Gilfried questioned.

"No. Maura was engaged to his brother, and his brother was with him at the restaurant. Maura was visibly upset by their appearance, so we left and had McDonald's instead."

"Wait, William Sheridan was Maura's fiance?" Dr. Gilfried asked, surprised.

"Yes. That William." I tried to keep the snarl out of my voice, but wasn't completely successful.

"Oh my," Dr. Gilfried said. "How on earth did you come to be here if she was engaged to that William?"

"Maura made a sizeable donation to the rehab and a bed magically opened up. In my defense, I had no idea what she was doing. Had I known, I would have asked to be placed elsewhere," I added quickly.

"You wouldn't receive the same level of care that you're getting here, elsewhere," Dr. Gilfried replied proudly.

"I know, but if it would have saved Maura even an ounce of hurt or embarrassment or even the money she donated, I would have gone elsewhere anyway."

"How did Maura handle seeing her ex?" Dr. Gilfried asked.

"She was surprised to see him. He was somewhat creepy. We didn't stick around long enough for them to converse. She told me later that he had accused her of causing her miscarriage. I was always jealous of the man, but never hated him because Maura clearly loved him a lot. Now though? Now if I'm ever left alone in a room with him, I'm going to personally make sure he is physically incapable of impregnating anyone else, ever again."

Dr. Gilfried smirked.

"What?" I asked.

"That right there? That's the Jane Rizzoli I've been waiting to see for almost a month now."

"Yeah, well, you don't mess with the people I love," I growled, my hands in fists on my lap.

"Good to know," Dr. Gilfried said with a smile. "So are you ready for your doctor's appointment tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Do you plan to discuss your intimacy issues with the doctor?" Dr. Gilfried asked me gently.

"Unfortunately yes," I grunted.

"There could be a physical reason behind some of this, Jane. I'm not saying this to bring up a sore subject again, but your feelings of unattractiveness and your lack of sex drive could all stem back to the chemical imbalance we talked about yesterday."

"Let's see what the gynecologist says tomorrow, okay?" I asked her, trying not to get my defenses up.

"Okay. I'd like to order some blood tests while you're there, is that all right?"

"Sure, they can do that while I have my MRI," I quipped.

"You can't draw blood during an MRI," Dr. Gilfried looked at me like I'd really lost my mind.

"I know. You doctors are all the same. Always so literal!" I joked. "Maura would have reacted exactly the same way," I said, when it was clear Dr. Gilfried was confused.

"Oh. I see," she smiled. "Well, we're going to run some tests and then maybe, based on the results, you'll reconsider the antidepressant?"

"We'll see. I'm not promising anything," I said. I really had no intention of taking the pills, and I'm sure Dr. Gilfried could tell that too, but she let it go and I was thankful. We spent the rest of the session talking about my plans for the immediate future, when I was released to outpatient therapy, and I was grateful that we didn't touch on anything that was too stressful. Dr. Gilfried seemed to try and pace herself, keeping to less sensitive subjects during sessions that immediately followed sessions that had been stressful. It took me a long time to realize that. She really wasn't the villain I had made her out to be in my head.

The following morning I got up at my usual time, showered, dressed, and waited for them to come and take me down to the ambulette. Since I was having bloodwork done, I had to fast, so I didn't go to the dining room for breakfast.

The ride over to Mass Gen was quick and the receptionist that greeted me in the outpatient clinic was friendly. They set me up with the phlebotomist first, who seemed to want to draw all of my blood. By the time she was finished, there were five vials with my name on them next to me. Apparently Dr. Grossberg had gotten in on the blood testing along with Dr. Gilfried. I didn't know whether to be nervous about all of these sudden concerns, or grateful that they were covering all of their bases.

From there I got taken down to an examination room, where I met with a gynecologist after I'd been given the customary paper-towel robe to wear. I sat there shivering, waiting for the doctor to come in and start the examination. Once the examination started, I wished I was still sitting there shivering.

"Sorry, Jane. Sometimes penetration is a little painful after a hysterectomy," the gynecologist said as she inserted the speculum gently, "but you're healing well." She continued with the internal exam and finally let me out of the stirrups. "I'd like to do an ultrasound, just to be sure of everything."

A nurse lead me from the examination room to the ultrasound room, where the ultrasound tech told me she needed me to drink twenty-four ounces of water before she could do the ultrasound. She explained that when the bladder is full, it makes it easier to see the other pelvic organs on the ultrasound.

I drank a few glasses of water and then had to stop, because it was making me feel too full. I also really had to go pee by the time the tech came back, so I was thinking my bladder was already pretty full by the time I had gotten down to the ultrasound room. The tech did the ultrasound and then, thankfully, let me go use the restroom before I went back to meet up with the doctor in her office.

"Everything looks good, Jane," the doctor reassured me. "Your internal exam was normal and your ultrasound results looked good."

"Thanks," I said, slightly relieved, but still nervous. "I um, I'm a little embarrassed, but I have a couple of questions."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Ask me what you want to know," the doctor said professionally.

"Well, Dr. Grossberg, the doctor at the rehab facility, gave me a tentative okay to uh… you know." I was blushing so hard that I'm sure the doctor did know.

"Engage in sexual activity?" she asked.

"Yes. That."

"And?" she pressed.

"Well, the thing is, I just wanted to make sure I was all healed up and that it's okay for me to do that. You know, kinda like I'm ready for it. Physically."

"Do you feel ready for it?" the doctor asked me.

"No," I answered honestly. "I feel all weirded out by my own body. I mean, I've recently been in a situation where I really wanted to, you know, do it, and I just couldn't bring myself to because I feel so ugly and broken."

"A lot of women experience that after a hysterectomy, Jane. What you're going through is totally normal. Physically you're well enough to engage in sexual activity if you want to. Emotionally it may take some time. You and your partner are going to have to work on this together. Have you spoken to him about it?"

"Uh, her. Yes. I've spoken to her about it."

"Sorry, my mistake," the doctor smiled. "What did she say?"

"That we'll go at my pace and there's no rush, and she thinks I'm beautiful and that while she doesn't think I have anything to worry about, she'll wait until the time is right for me."

"You're very fortunate to have someone that understanding. My recommendation is to take things slowly. Do what you feel comfortable with. Over time, you'll feel more confident. It'll happen when you're ready. Physically you're good to go, though."

"That's good, at least," I said.

"The less you worry about it, the easier it will be," the doctor said.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Jane, when you're ready, you'll know it. Just because you're physically healed enough to take part in sex doesn't mean you're emotionally ready for it. With injuries like yours, sometimes it takes the emotional healing a little longer to catch up to the physical healing. Just take it one day at a time. Don't pressure yourself, and don't let anyone else pressure you."

"Thanks," I said, partially relieved by the doctor's advice, but still a bit frustrated at the idea that I still didn't feel ready.

I parted ways with the gynecologist and went back to the waiting room, before they brought me down to give me intravenous contrast and do my MRIs in the radiology department. By this point I was starving, but it was going to be a while before I could eat anything. I wished I had some cash on me to raid the vending machines I kept seeing in the waiting room. My stomach growled incessantly and was beginning to get embarrassing.

The MRI took a little over an hour, and the technician told me the radiologist would read the films and then forward the results to Dr. Grossberg. All that was left for me to do was sit around and wait for the ambulette to bring me back to the rehab center.

By the time I had gotten back I had missed both breakfast and lunch, and it was going to be at least another three hours until they started to serve dinner. I'd had to fast for my bloodwork, so needless to say I was absolutely famished. When I got back to my room though, that problem was already solved.

Maura had sent me a chocolate covered fruit basket. I sat down on the bed and pulled the card off of the basket itself.

I thought you might be hungry after all that fasting and all those tests. Here's a snack that's good for you, and just as sweet as you are. See you soon. I love you.

I was so thankful to her. I was starving, and the snack was so perfectly Maura. I ripped open the cellophane covering the basket and took a bite out of a chocolate-covered pineapple. I moaned in delight, swallowing it quickly. I was far hungrier than I had imagined. I ate about half of the basket's contents. Most of the fruit wasn't chocolate covered, but I indulged myself and ate all the chocolate covered pieces first. Then, as if Maura were there and staring at me disapprovingly, I ate some of the regular fruits too, just to appease her.

Not wanting to spoil my dinner, I wrapped up the rest and put it on my bedside table for later. I flipped on the television in my room, resigned to spending a quiet, lonely Thursday afternoon with nothing to do. Sara was off, Maura was working, and Ma was out doing whatever she was doing. After a few boring minutes of some random daytime television game show, I yawned. Since I had the afternoon free, I thought a nap would be in order. I turned the television back off, and curled up on the bed. Going to the hospital and having all those exams and blood work had been exhausting. Since I had no therapy scheduled for the day, I didn't think it would be a bad thing to sleep the afternoon away. It had been a long time since I'd done that.

When I woke up a little while later though, I thought I'd woken up into a nightmare.

"Hello, Jane." William Sheridan sat in the guest chair, facing my bed. "I see you're making good use of your time here," he smirked.

A/N: *shiver* William Sheridan gives me the creeps... and I created the guy.