Notes: The Doctor catches up with some old friends. He shares his loss and learns that he made a mistake.
Chapter Three
The Doctor occasionally had to sleep. His Time Lord brain needed to defragment his thoughts and memories and file them away. He didn't like sleeping, he felt it was a waste of time and, it was the time when his demons came to visit him.
The Doctor watched in horror as her grip started to fail. He was helpless to save her. She was achingly close, but if he let go to try to reach her, he would immediately be sucked in to the rift.
He thrashed about in his bed, his jaw clenched tight.
"ROSE, HOLD ON. HOLD ON," he shouted to her. He was mumbling in his sleep, his head tossed from side to side.
Time seemed to slow down as the last finger gave up its hold on the lever and she fell toward the rift between universes. "ROSE! NOOOOOOOOO!" He looked on in utter disbelief as the woman he had come to love like no other, headed towards oblivion.
He shot bolt upright in bed, sweat soaked his pyjamas. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head until he was fully awake. Putting on his slippers he got out of bed, left their bedroom and went to the kitchen
It was still 'their' bedroom and always would be. They had become lovers while on holiday on Risa, and Rose had shared his bed since. He often fell asleep hugging her pillow, her scent filling his whole being.
Without thinking, still in the twilight of sleep, he made two mugs of tea and put the one for Rose on the table.
"Oooh a brew, cheers," she said.
He looked around to her chair, expecting to see her warm smile beaming at him. It was empty again, just a single mug of tea with a sole finger of steam twisting upwards.
The hallucinations were becoming less frequent now as his brain came to terms with his loss. According to a book in the library, hallucinations were quite common when people suffered bereavement.
He really thought he had lost it when Donna Noble appeared in a wedding dress. Fortunately for his sanity, she was real and for a time had distracted him from his grief.
He had saved Donna and the Earth from the Racnoss, but he didn't have Rose acting as his conscience and felt himself reverting to his dark, vengeful ways that had been forged in the time war.
Out of control, he had watched and gloated over the death of the Racnoss until Donna had told him 'that was enough.'
Drinking his tea, he set about balancing the neurotransmitters in his brain; lightening his mood and making him feel better. Tea always made him feel better.
He decided he would go to see Will and Deanna get married. He and Rose had met them on Risa and had become good friends. Rose and Deanna were like sisters, and the Doctor was sure Deanna had something to do with Rose seducing him, but she would never say for sure.
The pain of his loss had subsided over the last few weeks and he had some comfort in knowing that Rose had been reunited with her long-lost father and that her 'real' mother was also there with her. They were a family again.
He would be eternally grateful to Pete Tyler for catching Rose at the last second before she fell in to the breach with the Daleks and Cybermen. The thought of that fate always made him shudder.
He stood at a distance and watched the ceremony. He didn't want to spoil their big day with the sad news about Rose, so he thought of their time on Risa and smiled.
He sent Deanna feelings of his love for Rose and thoughts of congratulations on their marriage. As a wedding present he sent her the knowledge that they would eventually be very happy parents (he may not be able to look into his own future, but he could look into others).
He saw Deanna look around, whisper to Will and then both look around the guests, searching for a pair of familiar faces.
The Doctor turned and walked away towards the TARDIS, still smiling at his memories of that wonderful holiday.
After all, they would always have Risa.
He approached the TARDIS and reached in to his pocket for the key. As the key slipped in to the lock he heard footsteps running up the grassy bank towards him.
"Doctor? I thought it was you. Not many people I know with two hearts," a voice said breathlessly.
The Doctor turned to see the smiling face of Geordie La Forge, chief engineer of the USS Enterprise.
"Hello Geordie. I didn't think anyone had seen me," he told him. "How did you know it was two hearts at that distance," he asked him, frowning. "Who takes a tricorder to a wedding?"
Geordie tapped his temple and said. "Augmented vision, remember? I don't need a tricorder. When I saw Deanna and Will looking for someone, I scoped the area and saw you up here."
The Doctor nodded. Geordie had been blind from birth, but had always had optical aids to help him see. Recent advances meant he could have ocular implants inserted in to his eye sockets.
"I'm not good company at the moment Geordie and didn't want to spoil their big day," he told him.
"Are you kidding?" Geordie replied. "Will and Deanna would love to see you both. Where is Rose? Is she inside," he asked, nodding towards the TARDIS.
Geordie saw the momentary flash of sadness in the Doctors face. "Oh no, don't tell me… Oh God no. Doctor I'm so sorry." Geordie was distraught.
The Doctor quickly reassured him. "Oh no, it's not like that. She's not dead. She's in a parallel universe with her family and a friend. It's just that I can't get to her." He looked down at the grass, up at the sky and back to Geordie, his eyes stinging. "Ever," he finished.
Geordie cleared his throat. "You look like you could use a drink and a friendly ear," he said.
"What about the wedding?" the Doctor asked him, nodding past his shoulder.
Geordie thought about it and said. "Well, if you can fire that old box up, I know a quiet bar where you can tell me all about it and have me back here before I'm missed."
"I don't really want to talk about it," he told him, turning back to the TARDIS.
"Then let me do the talking," Geordie said. "There are some developments that I think you would like to catch up on since we last met."
The Doctor turned to look at him, raising a questioning eyebrow.
The bar Geordie mentioned was in San Francisco, near the Starfleet academy. It was quiet and had a friendly atmosphere. It also sold a great home-brewed beer.
They sat opposite each other in a corner with the aforementioned beers in front of them. Geordie was bringing him up to speed on what had happened since they had last met on the Enterprise.
"Data and I worked on an automated delivery system for the Borg signals. All Starfleet vessels carry them now. We nicknamed them Borg Bots," he explained. "The ships fire on the Borg and disable them. The Borg Bot is beamed to the computer core and connects itself to the mainframe, delivers the new base code instructions, reboots the system and we wait for the call for help," he said with a proud grin.
"Very impressive," the Doctor said. "Well done." He took a gulp of the beer.
Geordie sipped his beer and said. "Yeah. What wasn't so impressive were the Yautja." The grin had disappeared. "They took the offer of the holo-ships. We thought they'd seen the advantages of hunting virtual prey. Turns out they saw the advantage of practicing their hunting techniques in the holo-ship ready for hunting in the real world.
The Doctor's eyes were wide in disbelief. "What?!"
"We started getting reports of raids on various remote colonies about six months after the Yautja disappeared with the holo-ships. A nearby research ship, the USS Everett was sent to investigate one colony and found all 400 colonists were dead."
Geordie stared at the glass on the table as his thoughts drifted back to the report he had read. "They lost the away team that had beamed down to the colony. The place was overrun with those raptor-like parasites. They torpedoed the place from orbit before being attacked by an unidentified ship."
The Doctor was horrified. It had been his idea to give the Yautja the chance to change their ways and hunt virtual creatures. It was his fault.
Geordie continued. "They're like terrorists without an agenda. They've attacked Cardassians, Andorians, Romulans and many more. The only ones who don't seem to mind are the Klingons, they relish the fight."
"It's my fault," the Doctor said quietly. "It's all my fault. I had no idea they would do that. I'm sorry."
"Hey, nobody's blaming you Doc," Geordie told him. "You weren't to know."
The Doctor looked at him. "I should have considered the possibility though," he said.
"Don't beat yourself up about it," Geordie said comfortingly. "It sounds like you've got enough to worry about without this." Geordie took another sip of his beer. "What am I going to tell Deanna and Will about Rose?" he asked.
"You can't tell them anything just yet," he started. "If they heard about Rose on their wedding day, it will affect their future behavior and the choices they make. Those choices will have big implications for many worlds and civilizations," he told him.
Geordie whistled through his teeth. "Phew, you have to think about this all the time?" He shook his head. "I'm surprised it hasn't driven you crazy."
The Doctor gave a single laugh. "I know a few people who will tell you it already has."
The TARDIS materialized in the same spot where it had been before. Inside, the Doctor checked and rechecked the chronometer. He remembered being late after his first journey with Rose. That was a lifetime ago.
"Exactly one minute, 13 seconds after we left," he told Geordie with a hint of pride in his voice. Geordie was heading down the ramp towards the doors.
"Now remember, we were busy saving the universe and didn't have time to say hello," the Doctor told him.
Geordie laughed. "Hell, even I believe that, and I know it's not true," he said. "And you'll come to talk to them on the Enterprise after their honeymoon?"
The Doctor smiled. "I promise. I'll see you in a couple of minutes," he said as Geordie stepped outside and the TARDIS started wheezing.
The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS in to Cargo Bay 4. It was almost the exact same spot where the TARDIS had landed before. He was immediately assaulted by a fierce hug from Deanna and Will.
"Doctor," Will said with a grin on his face. "It's good to see you again. Is Rose coming out? She's due a big hug too," he laughed.
Deanna felt his defenses slip momentarily and could feel his loss and his pain.
"Oh no! Not Rose! No, no, no. Please tell me it's not true," she pleaded. Tears were running down her cheeks.
"Deanna, what is it? What's wrong?" Will asked her, concern written on his face.
The Doctor hugged Deanna and gave Will a pained look. "It's not what you think," he told them. "She's alive and well and living with her family in a different universe, one that I can't get to."
Deanna became professional and looked at the Doctor through her councilor eyes. She didn't like what she saw. "Let's go to Ten-Forward, we can get a drink and you can tell us what's happened."
The Doctor stiffened. "I,.. I don't really want to talk about it," he told her.
"Rose became like a little sister to me," Deanna said soothingly. "I need to know what happened to her…. Please."
The Doctor sighed and his shoulder slumped in defeat. "Yes, you're right. It's selfish of me to keep it all bottled up. I'm sorry."
Deanna reached out and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. Will patted the Doctor's shoulder and said. "Come on, let's get that drink."
They sat at a table in Ten-Forward and the Doctor slowly and reluctantly told them the story of their return to Earth and the battle of Canary Warf.
Data entered Ten-Forward and joined them as the Doctor was describing the attack on Earth by the Cybermen and how the Daleks had emerged from the void ship.
"I have examined the historical records from 20th and 21st century Earth and I am puzzled by the absence of any mention of Daleks, Cybermen or alien incursions in mainstream news reports," Data stated.
The Doctor ran his hand through his hair and tugged at his ear. "Ah, yes, well, that would be down to Torchwood," he told him.
Deanna leaned forward in interest. She had wondered about that also. "Torchwood? The people at the center of the battle of Canary Warf?" she asked.
The Doctor continued. "One and the same. A shadowy organization outside of the government, charged with the task of protecting the Earth from alien threats and to investigate alien technology." He gave a laugh. "I was the alien that started it all off," he told them.
Data spoke again. "From my research, Torchwood operatives sound like the 'Men-In-Black' mentioned in conspiracy theories surrounding the phenomena of unidentified flying objects," Data informed them.
The Doctor thought about that and chuckled. "Y'know Data, you're right, their operatives did wear black.
He continued his explanation. "21st century Earth had a global network of computers and media broadcasts. Torchwood introduced subliminal, perception modification signals in to social network sites and news channels. People started to believe that it was all made up and was just stupid conspiracy theories. It was so successful that some people even believed that Neil Armstrong never made it to the moon!"
Deanna was shocked that an organization would be able to do that. "That sounds very sinister," she said.
The Doctor reassured her. "You'd think so, but their intentions were good. They managed to keep society from worrying about alien invasions so people could get on with their lives."
He continued the story, up to the part where he and Rose had opened the breach. He fell silent at that part.
Deanna was expert at listening and asking the right questions at the right moment. She managed to get the Doctor to open up and give them the whole story, so they could visualize it as if they had been there.
When he finished his story, they sat in stunned silence. Deanna wiped tears from her cheek, while Will shook his head and rubbed his beard.
"At least I managed to say goodbye," the Doctor said, smiling. He told them the story of the beach at Bad Wolf Bay in Norway. "And I finally told her that I loved her."
Deanna reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Well, that's certainly an improvement for you," she said encouragingly.
The Doctor nodded. "Only, I don't know if she heard me. The connection failed as the breach finally closed."
"She knew anyway," Deanna told him. "We all did." He raised his eyebrows at her.
"I told you we were like sisters," she laughed. "And sisters love to gossip."