A/N: Wow, the vast majority of you loved chapter 41. Thank you for the great responses! Thank you also to CharlietheCAG for the beta of this chapter. Good luck tomorrow, Charlie. You know what for. ;)

It took us both a little while to get our breathing back to normal, and we spent that time completely tangled up in each other on the couch. Maura finally lifted her head from my shoulder and looked at me with a sheepish grin.

She was so beautiful in that moment. She looked so proud of herself, but she also looked a little uncertain, as if she was afraid of my reaction. We had finally crossed that line, and I'd finally let her in, and I wanted her to know that I didn't regret anything.

"That was… fantastic," I said to her as I leaned in to give her a languid kiss. "Better than I imagined it would be, and what I had been imagining was already pretty amazing."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure."

"I'm glad. I can't wait to do it again," Maura said with a huge grin.

"You're insatiable," I groaned in mock exasperation.

"You have no idea, Jane."

I giggled, a pure, spontaneous giggle that I hadn't done in years. A weight had definitely been lifted off of my shoulders that afternoon. Maura stood up, off of my lap, and held her hand out to me.

"Let's go to bed. We both need to sleep," she said, yawning.

"I never thought I'd hear of the day when you actually volunteered to take a nap," I answered her with a yawn of my own.

"Some studies have shown that short naps during the day actually help productivity and help to boost the immune system," Maura said as she gathered our shirts and bras with her free hand. "Besides, I'm completely exhausted."

"Me too," I agreed as I followed her to her bedroom.

I closed the door behind us, and watched as Maura removed what little clothing she still had on. I was expecting her to change into pajamas but instead she just pulled the covers down and got into bed.

"Are you going to join me, Jane?" she asked with mock innocence.

I hesitated for a moment, loathe to remove my clothes in front of Maura, but then I realized that I had nothing to hide from her. She'd seen me time and again since my accident, and we'd just had sex on her couch. If she could stand to make love to me in this condition, I could sleep naked next to her that way too. I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled my yoga pants and underwear off, and joined her under the covers.

As I spooned around Maura, I heard her sigh in relief. It dawned on me in that moment that she was just as nervous about all of this as I was, maybe just for different reasons. I kissed the back of her head.

"I love you, Maura."

She squeezed my hand before bringing it up to her lips and kissing it gently. "I love you, too."

We spent the next several hours curled up around each other on Maura's bed, both of us falling into a deep sleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillows. While our lovemaking that afternoon had initially left me feeling energized and so damn happy, I couldn't keep my eyes open, and neither could Maura.

It was Maura's cell phone that woke us.

"Dr. Isles," she answered, her voice perfectly schooled to hide the fact that she had just been fast asleep.

"Yes, she is here, Frost. She got discharged to outpatient therapy today," Maura said in response to whatever Frost had asked her.

Maura rolled over to look at me as she spoke into the phone.

"Let me ask her. Hang on."

Maura muted the call before speaking to me. "They need a statement from you about what happened today at the rehab. Frost wants to know if you want to go down to the precinct to give it, and then the four of us can go have a late dinner at the Dirty Robber together."

"Um…" I wasn't crazy about the idea of going back to the precinct. I didn't want people to see how far I had fallen. Although my confidence had been bolstered by the events of the day, I wasn't ready to face my former colleagues. I wasn't sure what it would be like to walk back into the Boston Police Department after the way I'd left it.

Maura seemed to sense this. "We can be in and out before the eight o'clock shift change if we leave now."

"I don't know, Maura."

"Jane, Sean said he wanted you to come see him when you started outpatient therapy. You were going to have to go back there at some point. Why not bite the bullet and just do it tonight?"

I sighed. She was right. I had to go back at some point, and it would make sense to go now, when things were going so well. If we got in and out before the shift change, the likelihood of a lot of people seeing me would be slim.

"All right."

Maura smiled at me and unmuted the phone. "We'll be there in a half hour."

She disconnected the call and leaned in to kiss me.

"I'm proud of you. Come on, let's get dressed."

Maura got up and walked, stark naked, to her bathroom to freshen up, but stopped in the doorway and waited for me.

"Are you coming?" she asked playfully.

"If I follow you in there, yes, probably," I said with a huge grin. "But since we're short on time, I'll just go freshen up in the guest bathroom and put on some of the clothes you have for me in the guest room."

"Suit yourself," Maura shrugged, but she blew me a kiss as she walked into the bathroom.

I made my way into the guest room and found a pair of jeans hanging in the closet. It reminded me that I should ask Maura to drive me over to the storage unit so I could bring some of my own clothes home. It wasn't that the clothes Maura had picked up for me weren't wonderful. They really were. It's just that it would be nice to wear something of my own, that I wouldn't be too afraid of ruining because it wasn't super expensive. I cleaned up in the guest bathroom, and put on the clothes I'd found.

When I walked back out a few minutes later, Maura was waiting for me at the top of the stairs.

"Where are your crutches?" she asked, finally realizing I wasn't using them.

"Probably in evidence bags. I used one to smash William in the face," I said with a grin.

"Oh," Maura said, raising an eyebrow.

"The whole psychopath thing aside, it felt really good to hit him. It was payback for what he did to you."

"Jane," Maura admonished.

"Well, that and the whole psychopath thing," I added again, to make it sound better.

"Mmhm," Maura said, not quite convinced.

We made our way down the stairs and Maura found a coat for me to wear in her front hall closet.

"Tomorrow morning we'll go out and get you a new coat and new boots. I have no idea when they'll release your room at the rehab, but your coat was ruined anyway."

"We could just go to the storage facility and pick up some of my clothes from there. I was going to ask you to do that anyway," I suggested.

"We'd have to go get the key from Walter, and I'm sure we have to make an appointment to do that. I'll call him Monday from work and see if he can squeeze us in next week for an evening appointment. I'm interested to hear about the progress he's making on your case as well." She paused to look at me. "I mean, only if you want me to."

"Of course I want you to. You probably know more about this stuff than I do. Besides, I can't drive so you're going to have to drive me over there," I said with a wink.

"As much as it pains me to do this, I think I'm going to have to call Dr. Pike in part time for the next several weeks, so we can make sure you're settled in at home and have everything you need," Maura said, thinking out loud.

"No way, Maura. Ma is home, and she'll take me to and from therapy. You need to work. You've already missed too much work because of me anyway. I'll be here every night when you get home, no matter how late it is," I said resolutely.

"Now that I have you to come home to, I'm going to try even harder to get home at a decent time every night."

"Murders don't wait for decent times, Maur. There's nothing decent about murder. You know that," I said with a grin. "But no matter what time you get home, I'll be there."

Maura leaned around me to open the car door for me, but stopped and kissed me. "Welcome home, Jane."

"Thank you for giving me a home," I whispered to her after our kiss.

Maura beamed at me as she walked around to her side of the car and I got in on my side. When she closed the door and started the car she looked over at me. "I'm so glad you're here. This house was so empty without you in it." She paused, and gave me a sheepish grin as the garage door opened up behind us. "I really always felt like this was where you belonged, and it's like a dream come true for me that you're here to stay now."

"I always liked your house better than my apartment," I deflected, but smiled at her.

"It's more than just the quality of the dwelling," Maura said as we began to drive toward the precinct. "Without you here, this was just a place to stay. A house, but not a home. Now that you're back, this feels like home again. Two years without you here was a long time, Jane."

"But you had William living with you for a while," I reminded her.

"It wasn't the same." Maura glanced at me as we approached a traffic light. "I loved him, Jane. I won't lie and say I didn't. But he was never you. When I finally gave up on the idea of us, he seemed to be the next best thing. I made it work with him. But with you, everything has always been pretty effortless. I don't have to make it work with you, because it works without trying. We were apart for so long, but we can still finish each other's sentences. I still know what you're thinking before you ever say anything. I never had that with William."

"It makes me sad that you gave up on us. I don't blame you for doing it, I just regret never telling you how I felt," I said sadly.

"I told myself that I gave up on us ever becoming a couple, but that day you told me you were leaving, I realized that I didn't want a life without you in it. I would have done anything to get you to stay, but I felt like anything I could have said or done at that point would have just driven you further away. I let you go, Jane, and I regret that as much as you regret never telling me how you felt," Maura said quietly, the regret she felt obvious in her voice.

"We both have regrets, but what's important now is that we have each other, right?" I asked.

"Yes," Maura said with a smile.

"Um, so I was wondering. Since I can't get into my stuff that's in storage until we pick up the key from Walter Laffler and we're going to go shopping anyway… maybe I could take you out on a date tomorrow night?"

"You want to go out?" Maura asked, thrilled.

"Yeah, if you don't mind being seen with me," I said uncertainly.

"Jane, you don't look nearly as bad as you think you do," Maura reminded me sternly.

"So, maybe we can pick up an outfit and a new coat and I can take you someplace?"

"I'd love that. Where would you like to go?" Maura asked.

"No, where would you like to go, Maura? I'm taking you out."

"I don't think you can do heels yet, can you?" Maura asked out loud while she was thinking. "So we should rule out somewhere fancy, for now."

"I can buy a pair of flats, Maura. We can go wherever you want." I really wanted her to pick someplace she would enjoy. I wanted to thank her for what she had been doing for my mother and I for so long.

"Oh, Jane, I have the perfect idea. I'll have to make a few calls to see if tickets are available, but I know there is a preview of Wicked tomorrow night at the Boston Opera House. We could go see the show and then have dinner afterward!"

"Maura, that sounds wonderful, but I really wanted to do this for you, and make it special for you. If you have to make calls to pull strings to get tickets, then I'm not doing it for you," I said gently.

"Okay," Maura said slowly. "But I'd be glad to do that. You could still take me to dinner."

"What if we saw a show that has publicly available tickets? I could try to surprise you," I offered.

"That sounds like fun. There are a few shows I haven't seen yet that I would love to see."

"Such as?" I asked.

"Surprise me, Jane," she answered with a happy grin.

"Okay."

And just like that, I'd asked Maura out on our first date. I think the fact that we were already living together and we'd had sex on her couch earlier in the day took some of the pressure off of me. I chuckled at the thought.

"What?" Maura asked. "What are you laughing at?"

"Well, I was just thinking that we're living together now, and we've already had sex… so it's about time I asked you out on a date."

Maura laughed too. "We've never actually done things in order, have we?"

"Nope."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she said to me as we pulled into the precinct's parking garage.

My laugh at her remark got lost somewhere in my throat as I realized where we were.

"Jane?"

Suddenly this felt like a really bad idea.

"Jane?" Maura asked again.

"I, um, I don't have my crutches," I blurted out nervously, not really voicing my fears but trying to answer Maura's question.

"I'm here, Jane. I won't let you fall." I knew she meant more than just trip up the stairs. She was going to be with me every step of the way, from the statement I had to give that night to the day I returned back to work.

I looked over to Maura and she was watching me closely. She put her hand out to take mine.

"You can do this," she said, and again I knew she wasn't just talking about this statement tonight.

I put my hand in hers and squeezed it. "You're right. Let's do this."

We got out of the car and she put one arm around my waist, pulling me close to her. I adjusted the hat on my head and squeezed her waist. Slowly, we made our way into the lobby of the BPD.

It hadn't changed. The officer on duty at the front desk gave Maura a polite nod, and it took him a second to recognize me as we approached.

"Detective Rizzoli?" he asked.

"Yes. Hello Officer-" I didn't recognize him. I didn't recall ever seeing him on duty while I'd been with the BPD.

"Walters. And I'm still a cadet. Jeez, it's great to meet you, Detective. My brother works for NYPD and he told me you were a legend down there in just the short time you were there. One of the instructors at the academy here mentions your work in class all the time!"

I blushed. He held his hand out and I shook it. "Did I work with your brother?" I felt Maura squeeze my waist as she watched our conversation.

"No, he is in organized crime and rackets, but one of the perps you took in wound up falling under his jurisdiction. He got the file after your, um, departure. Said you did all the hard work on the file, like a real pro," Cadet Walters gushed.

"Wow. I had no idea," I said, smiling.

"It's great to see you doing so well. I've heard rumors you might be coming back here," he said conspiratorially.

"That's the plan, but it's still a ways off yet," I said, not letting him get his hopes up, or mine, for that matter.

"Well, it will be great to have you back here. I can rub it in my brother's face," he said with a smile.

"It would be great to come back here," I replied truthfully.

Cadet Walters handed me a visitor sticker. "Sorry, Detective. It's just protocol. I could get in trouble for not giving it to you," he said sheepishly, wincing as he handed it to me.

I looked down at the sticker and took it. "I understand." I put it on my hip, where my badge normally would have been.

"Get well soon," the friendly cadet said as Maura and I walked over to the elevators and waited.

"See?" Maura said quietly. "Nothing to worry about."

"Let's make it up to homicide before we decide that for sure," I responded, but I kissed her cheek to let her know I was okay.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened for us. Two men I didn't recognize got off first, and Detective Crowe got off behind them. Maura felt me stiffen, and she squeezed my waist again. Her arm never left me.

"Dr. Isles," Crowe said with a curt nod as he walked away. He didn't even spare me a second look. He obviously hadn't recognized me. Part of me was relieved that he hadn't noticed me, and part of me was incensed that I had worked with the man for years and he walked right by, but a junior officer I had never met before was able to recognize me.

"It's a reflection on him, not you, Jane," Maura said as we got on the elevator.

"How did you even know what I was thinking?"

"I always know what you're thinking," she said with a sly smile. "Detective Crowe probably wouldn't even recognize his own mother if she wore a wig in a different hairstyle. He's too wrapped up in himself to pay attention to anyone else. It's why he's such a crappy detective."

"Maura!" I said, pretending to be scandalized by her word choice. She grinned at me. "He really is such a pig."

The doors opened on the third floor and we walked out together, slowly, toward the Homicide unit. Part of my slow speed was simply because I couldn't keep my balance if I walked too fast, but part of it was also because I was terrified of walking back in there.

Some of the happiest moments of my life took place in that room. They were moments filled with success and pride. My departure from there had been filled with nothing but sadness though, and it was too much for me to think about. We were about halfway between the elevator and the doorway to BRIC when I felt my pelvis start to give way.

"Easy," Maura commanded quietly, holding me even tighter. "We're almost there, and you're all right."

I watched as Frost spotted us and jumped up, running to greet us. Korsak wasn't far behind him.

Together the three of them walked me in, and sat me directly down in my old chair at my old desk. Frost handed me back my cell phone. "I had to wipe it clean, Jane. I'm sorry. I put all the contacts back on there that I could think of for you, but you may need to ask a few people for their numbers again. You'll need to reinstall your apps, too. We took a complete image of the phone so we could use the malware he installed as evidence against him, but you may actually have to turn the phone back in as evidence if Captain Crazypants' attorney is a stickler about it."

"Captain Crazypants?" I asked, amused. I missed nicknaming suspects with my old partners.

"William Sheridan," Korsak clarified. "They had to sedate him in the emergency room. Instead of keeping him in lockup, they're putting him in a lockdown psych ward until his arraignment. If his attorney wants to go the insanity route, he won't have too difficult a time."

"Jesus," I whispered.

"Yeah but you've got nothing to worry about. No judge in his right mind would set bail for him and he's got at least seventy-two hours of psych hold to deal with. Whether he goes to Walpole or some padded room somewhere, he's not seeing the light of day for a long, long time. I don't care how good his attorney is," Korsak said.

"His brother would do well to convince him to just plead out, so it doesn't make the news," Maura added. I didn't add that if he were to plead out, there wouldn't be a trial for me to attend either.

"So Jane, welcome back," Frost said, changing the subject. "As you can see, we kept your desk for you," he smiled at me broadly.

I tried not to freak out. I really tried to stay calm and realize that all I was doing was sitting in my old chair at my old desk in the bullpen. There was no reason to panic.

But I was panicking, and thankfully Maura noticed it.

"Hey, hey, what's the matter?" she asked quietly as Frost and Korsak blabbed on about how great it was to have me back there and all the stuff they couldn't wait to do when I came back to work.

"I don't know," I said, putting a hand against my chest. "I can't calm down." It was getting harder and harder to breathe. My chest felt like there were straps tied around it, keeping me from inhaling. The harder I tried to inhale, the more difficult breathing became.

"You're all right Jane," she soothed.

"I know, but I don't feel all right."

"Rizzoli, is that you?" Cavanaugh called from outside of his office. "Jeez, it is you. Get in here! I can't believe you're here!"

Cavanaugh seemed to provide enough of a distraction for me to calm down, and the group of us made our way into his office. Once again, Maura's arm never left my waist as we walked, and she was sure to take the chair directly next to me when we were seated in Cavanaugh's office.

Frost and Korsak pulled their own chairs in from their desks and Cavanaugh sat back behind the desk. At first everyone was talking at once.

Frost and Korsak were talking about William and how he already had a high-priced criminal defense attorney, likely arranged for by his brother Jeffrey.

Cavanaugh was asking about my stitches on my forehead and congratulating me on taking William down earlier that day.

Maura was whispering in my ear to just calm down, I was among friends and I was going to be all right.

It was Maura's breath on my ear and her hand in my own that convinced me that I was all right, and my panicky episode from a few moments earlier finally passed.

I was calmer, ready to give my statement, but I wanted to get out of there.

I gave my statement to Frost, whose case this had become officially. But Korsak, Cavanaugh and Maura were all still in the room with me. Their reactions to my telling of the events varied.

Maura's demeanor went from shocked to horror and swung around to fear. She had pulled her chair so close to mine that at one point I thought she was going to try and crawl into my lap. I would not have objected.

Korsak cheered me along during my statement, going so far as to yell "That'll learn 'em!" when I spoke about striking William with one of my crutches.

Cavanaugh interjected with a "That's my Rizzoli" a few times.

Frost, for his part, just took the statement, giving me encouragement to continue and ignoring the reactions of everyone around us. I was glad when it was over.

Frost wrapped everything up and went back to his desk to take care of some paperwork. Korsak went out to help him, presumably so they could speed up the process and we could all go to dinner. That left Maura and I behind with Cavanaugh.

"So how are you, Jane?" Cavanaugh asked, smiling at me.

"Doing better every day sir," I said truthfully.

"That's good to hear. When do you think you'll be available to come in part time to do desk duty?"

"Oh, um, I'm not sure yet, sir. I just got released to outpatient therapy today, and I'm still doing therapy five days a week." I was surprised at how fast he offered me desk duty.

"Did they give you a timeframe for when you might be able to do desk duty?" he asked, concerned.

"Not yet, sir. I actually wasn't slated to start outpatient therapy for another three weeks, but after the incident today, I told them I wasn't spending another night in that facility."

"Back to speaking your mind, that's good, Rizzoli," Cavanaugh said with a smile. "Ultimately I'd like to have you come back two or three days a week for four hours at a time, doing desk duty. That will get you back on our payroll. I know you'll hate doing paperwork, but it will help keep your skills sharp and your face fresh. Plus your partners can't wait to have you back, and you'll give them a break with the paperwork so they can spend more time in the field pursuing suspects," Cavanaugh said, almost unusually cheerful.

"I imagine it'll be another month to a month and a half before they reduce the number of days I'm in therapy. I'll ask about it on my next follow up visit with my doctor." The idea of doing nothing but paperwork sounded horrible, but being back to work in some capacity, even on a part-time basis, sounded wonderful.

"Lieutenant, Jane is going to need access to an obstacle course, so she can start practicing for her physical qualifications. Would it be possible for her to use the BPD's when she is cleared medically?" Maura asked sweetly, changing the subject.

"Absolutely. The sooner you physically requalify, the sooner we can have you back out on the streets catching dirtbags."

"Thanks. I'm excited about all of this, but it's all still months away. I just want to remind everyone of that. I'm trying really hard, but I won't be ready to come back to work for a long time." The last thing I wanted was for people to get impatient with me.

"We know, Jane. And we're all real proud of you for the progress you've made so far. Come and see me again sometime soon though. It's good having you around here with us. Now, did I hear something about dinner at the Robber?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, would you like to join us?" Maura asked.

"I could go for a burger," Cavanaugh said, nodding.

"Wait till you see it, Jane. There's a whole new organic menu at the Robber now!" Maura effused.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't worry, they still have the good stuff on the menu, too," Cavanaugh said when he saw my look of horror.

"The Robber went organic?" I asked as we made our way out of Cavanaugh's office.

"Yeah, I have no idea what Murray was thinking," Cavanaugh said morosely.

Murray practically jumped over the bar when he saw me walk in with the rest of the gang a little while later. I was so busy staring at the new interior design of the place that I nearly missed it. Before I knew it though, he was right there in front of me, giving me a hug.

"Detective Rizzoli! So good to see you! Come in! Come in! You want me to open up the back room so you can all sit back there?" he asked, leading us along.

"That would be a good idea," Maura said, watching me look around at the people who were staring at Murray's outburst, and subsequently staring at me.

Once we were seated in the back room that was usually reserved for private parties, I took a moment to look around. The Dirty Robber had changed a lot since the last time I was here. The interior was brighter and looked more spacious, even though it still consisted of the same amount of space it occupied the last time I was there.

"What happened in here?" I asked when Murray had walked away.

"Murray went on a health kick. Decided to incorporate some healthier fare into his menu. He wanted to use organic food and locally sourced foods, but the backlash at the idea was so huge that he relented and kept most of the old menu too. Once he changed the menu though, he decided the old wood paneling and teak bar didn't fit in with his new persona," Korsak answered.

"You're kidding me," I said, astonished.

"No, look at the menu. He's got two parts, one labeled 'good stuff' and one labeled 'bad stuff'," Frost answered.

He really did. I went right for the menu page labeled bad stuff and I heard Maura chuff next to me.

Cavanaugh laughed. "I'm havin' a burger, Doc. You should try one too. Maybe they'll make it with organic beef for you."

"I think I'll just have a salad," Maura replied, not even realizing that Cavanaugh was playing with her, or that she was the only one at the table that had her menu turned to the 'good stuff' page.

Murray came back while we were looking at the menus with a tray full of tap beers for all of us.

"This round's on me folks. Can't tell you how good it is to see you, Detective Rizzoli. This is a sorry bunch when you're not with them."

"Hey!" Korsak yelped, clearly insulted.

"On the other hand, Korsak's beer intake has nearly doubled since you've been gone, so I can't complain," Murray added as he walked away.

I quickly grabbed a mug of beer as did everyone else at the table.

"To Janie," Korsak said, raising his mug, already over the insults Murray had slung at him.

"To all of you," I said raising my glass, but making sure to catch Maura's eye.

I had the mug almost to my mouth when Maura grabbed it gently and pulled it away from me. "You can't have alcohol yet."

"Oh come on, Maura. One sip isn't going to hurt me. It's rude not to drink after a toast!" I protested.

"Yeah, Doc. Let her have a drink. Just one," Frost said. "Don't you think she deserves it, after today?"

"Please?" I asked, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Okay. A few sips. But that's it! Your body can't process alcohol the same way it used to. A little alcohol will go a long way. You can't be hung over. We have plans tomorrow," she reminded me.

"Okay. I promise," I said.

We all raised our glasses once more and I took a sizeable chug out of mine. Goddamn, but that was the best beer I ever tasted up until that point. I was tempted to drink all of it, but even after a few sips, I could already start to feel a buzz building. My alcohol tolerance at that point was apparently non-existent.

Frankie showed up just as we were about to place our orders, and I handed him my unfinished beer, which he gratefully drank. Maura looked pleased when I ordered my burger with a side salad instead of fries, and a water. I didn't really want to push my luck.

Conversation at the dinner table flowed pretty nicely. I didn't have much to add, considering I'd spent the last three months trying to put my life back together, but I listened intently to their stories about work while I enjoyed my burger. For as anxious as I had become sitting in my old seat in the bullpen, I was eager to get back into work. I wanted to be a part of their team again in the worst way. I tried not to think about the fact that even though everyone there wanted me to go back to work, my body may have had other ideas for me. It really was still a matter of wait and see at that point.

I wondered suddenly what would happen to our group dynamic if it turned out I could not return to work. Would I still be welcomed to dinner like this? Would Murray still call me Detective Rizzoli? Would Cavenaugh still welcome me into his office with open arms like he did today, even just to visit?

What about Frost and Korsak? What would it be like to disappoint them again and would they be able to forgive me again as easily as they had when they found out I'd been hurt?

And what about Maura? Would she still love me the way she promised me she would? What if she didn't? What would I do and where would I go if she broke up with me? How could I live without her?

How could I live with the disappointment if I didn't qualify for duty? How long would the BPD even give me, before they decided their need for another body in the homicide unit was greater than their need to wait for me to get better? What if they needed someone before I could even try to take my physical qualification?

What would happen then?

I had more questions than I had answers. I hated feeling so unsure of myself and the uncertainty of it all. I hated that I had even found myself in this position to begin with. Why did this all have to happen to me?

Everyone around me was laughing at a story Frankie had just finished telling, but I sat there looking like someone had just slapped me. Frankie had elbowed me gently, trying to get me to laugh too, but I hadn't heard a word he said.

Maura picked right up on it. "I think it's time for us to call it a night. Jane's had a very trying day, and she needs to rest."

"You okay, Janie?" Frankie asked quietly.

"Um, yeah. Just tired," I said to him, then repeated myself louder for the rest of the table to hear. "I'm just tired, guys. Thanks for a great dinner!" I tried to sound enthusiastic, and I think it sounded that way to everyone but Maura. Everyone stood up to give us both kisses on our cheeks as we made our way back out.

Murray waved at us as we left, yelling a quick "Come back soon, Detective!" at us as we passed by.

Come back soon, Detective.

I wanted to turn around to Murray and tell him that was exactly what I'd been wishing for since the day I opened my eyes nearly three months ago.

Come back soon.

Detective.