Ariana wanted to sleep as the doctors came in. She felt horrible,her head was pounding, breathing had become hard and painful and she felt so heavy. She couldn't be bothered to move, everything was too heavy to move it, even the smallest fingers. Even her eyelashes stayed closed.

She felt the needle in her arm, the heat from the stitch spreading along the skin. And then she felt a fluid stream coming into her veins. It hurt and she moaned, but nobody said anything. But she knew they were there. A bunch full people all waiting for her to get better. She could feel their looks at her skin, her body, her face.

Giving into the tiredness, she tried to blend it all out. The pain, the people, their thoughts, their looks.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw rays of bright sunlight floating through her windows, filling the room with incredible brightness.

She tried to lift her arm to her head. It worked. Somehow her arm felt lighter. Still not as light as she remembered him to be but still. She lifted the other arm two, raising both. Then she tried to touch her hair. When she reached her shoulders and didn't feel the weight of her hair on her shoulders, she got a small shock. Raising both arms even hair, touching her forehead, her head she understood. Apparently the nurses had tied her hair together. She detested that, so she tried to open the dot but didn't manage. It seemed her arms and fingers didn't know how to work anymore. She felt that she had to learn again how to use them. She sighed over that realisation. She felt weak and dependent.

"Honey? How do you feel?"

Her mother came into her room, carrying a lot of flowers in her right hand. She put them on the window board, before coming towards Ariana.

Ariana wanted to say that she felt better. She wanted to do the same smalltalk, she wanted to talk about the same irrelevant stuff, she wanted to express her love.

She just opened her mouth as her look fell onto her wrists. Both were bandaged and there were also some red imprints shining through the material.

That's when everything fell back into place. It all came back to her. The reason she tried to kill herself, the problems with her blood group, Mr Horton.

"Why am I still alive?"

She knew that if formulated this way, her mom would listen to her, though she realised the question sounded very harsh.

"But dear, be glad. We are both so glad, your dad is coming in a short moment. He is trying to find a parking spot."

"Mom. I wanted to be dead. You should've just let me die."

Ariana knew that her mother needed to be forced out of her state of mind she was in. And that was the reason she was acting like this. The truth was that Ariana was glad to be alive. She was glad that they saved her. She never meant to hurt herself. And yet she did. Though she didn't know her intention. She came to think that it was some kind of panic attack, an attack where the only way was to do serious harm to her.

"DO NOT EVEN SAY THAT!"

Her mother bursted out furiously, as her father came into the room. He looked worried. Ariana noticed that he looked to her mom instead of her but then she realised why. He just heard her outburst not the words Ariana said to provoke her.

"Why am I still alive?" Ariana asked calmly.

"See what she is doing? I'm sorry that I screamed at her but she is asking those question since I came into the room."

Her mom turned at her dad asking him for help. And seemingly it worked. Her dad came nearer and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Some time ago, Mr Horton sat there, telling her a lie. And she caught him on it.

"Well, Ari. I would say you had the best doctors there were."

Her dad smiled at her. She felt like a little kid, not getting a serious answer.

"Just because of the doctors?"

Her dad nodded and patted her knee.

"I guess so."

Ariana knew it wasn't the truth. She remembered Mr Horton, remembered that he just came to donate blood, to save her. But she feared that her parents didn't know that he had come to se her. They thought she didn't know. And most importantly, they wanted to keep it that way. But why? What was this all about? Who was Mr Horton? Somehow that were way too many questions for her to think about.

Her dad pulled away from all those questions.

"How are you, dear?"

Ariana decided to play this little game with her parents.

"Better. See. I can move my arms now."

Her dad looked proud and content at her little show. But then he stopped her arms and turned them around. Carefully he opened the bandages around her wrists. His fingers were shaking.

"Why did you do it, honey?" His fingers went along the scars. His voice was troubled, he was probably thinking about the night where she was found.

"I don't know. Honestly." She pulled her arms away, hiding them under the blanket. She didn't look at her parents but at the wall across the room.

The next hour they talked about the irrelevant things, she had expected. Her parents talked about the news, politics, the weather and the 'Get-better-Cards' she was getting.

When her dad started to talk about his work, she knew it was time to put an end to this visitation.

"I am tired. Would you mind leaving me for today?"

"Sure. We'll be back tomorrow."

Her mom kissed her on the cheek. And just as she expected left her parents almost immediately. As soon as she was certain that they had left the hospital she carefully turned around and sat head was still a bit dizzy. She closed her eyes for a second but that didn't help at all, so she opened them again. Step after step she put one foot after the other on the floor. When she stood she looked down at her. She was really wearing one of those hospital dresses that left the backside visible for everybody. Thankfully she wore her underwear.

Ariana looked around. If her plan was supposed to work she needed something to wear. Her look fell on a jacket lying over the chair. She put it on, realising that it wasn't a jacket from her dad she knew.

In the bathroom she looked in the mirror. She looked horrible. Her hair wasn't washed in days, her face was still missing colour, it was so pale. The jacket didn't cover the hospital dress, even closed you could still see the blue and white material showing.

"Well it could be a skirt." She talked to herself. But then she also tried to kill herself. "I am so messed up."

Coming out of the bathroom she went straight to her door. Silently opening it she peeked out. The corridor was clear. She went out of her room, closed the door and turned right. She followed the 'Exit' sign until she stood outside in the rain. As if god knew what she was going to do, he tried to stop her. But she wouldn't be stoppable right now. And if that meant going through the rain barefooted with no real clothes she was still determined to do it.

Sonny was just cutting the bread into slices at he heard a knock on the door. Throwing a look at Will who was just about to place plates on the table he stopped cutting the bread and went to the door. He opened it spirited.

On the other side stood a girl. Sonny had never seen her before though she reminded him of someone. He took a good look at her. Her hair was wet and the drops fell onto the doorstep. Her eyes looked down to her feet. Sonny noticed her missing shoes and the jacket she wore. He had bought a similar jacket for Will last christmas.

Sonny really had to try to keep an relaxed face.

"What can I do for you?"

The girl looked up and Sonny stumbled when he saw bright blue eyes.

"My name is Ariana Grace Fallon and I want to know the truth."