The Boat That Rocked (Rocketshipping Fanfic)
Part Six
His blue hair was a cerulean halo spread on the pillow around his face, his green eyes clear, his gaze unfaltering. James stared back.
"J-James?"
Meowth shifted, his eyes blinking open. "What's goin' on?" When he saw James he jumped up, his paws on the man's chest.
"James! You're awake!"
The man turned to look at the cat Pokémon and then back to Jessie. His hand was still touching her wrist.
"Did you hear me reading?" she asked, her voice quiet, her heart beating so loud she barely heard her own words.
"You stopped." His voice was hoarse and broken. It was to be expected after two years of silence yet it was so clear to her.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "You heard me…" she bowed her head, her forehead resting against the hand at her wrist.
"We need to get the doc!" Meowth exclaimed, leaping off the bed and rushing out of the room, the door swinging shut behind him.
The two sat there, Jessie's entire existence suddenly revolving completely around their touching hands and the warmth they shared in that moment. "You're awake…"
She felt his hand being pulled away and she looked up. He was watching her, his eyes unreadable. She wiped her tears away and straightened in her seat.
"I'm sorry – it must be confusing for you, right?" she smiled. "You've been in a coma for the past two years. You collapsed after we were rescued and they found you ha-" she stopped herself. She couldn't tell him about the tumour – not the second he woke up. "But everything will be okay now, yeah?"
James looked down at his hand, as if fascinated by the lingering warmth he felt from her touch.
"James?" she said, a sense of concern edging her voice. "Are you okay?"
He looked at her. "James?"
She went cold.
"Y-yeah."
"Is my name James?"
Jessie's mind went numb, her tears stopping. "Yeah, d-don't you remember?" she pointed to herself. "I'm Jessie. And the Pokémon – that was Meowth."
Maybe he was just disoriented, like she had been when she woke up after being told of James' condition. Yeah, that must be it. He's just confused. He's been in a coma for so long.
The door opened, the doctor and nurse entering the room, relief obvious on their faces. "James! How am glad to see you finally awake!" the gentle smile had widened into a grin – something Jessie had never seen on the doctor.
Meowth was back on the bed, his paws on James' chest, his face close to the man's. He was purring.
But James turned away and instead lifted his head to look at the doctor. "Where am I?"
"You're in hospital…." The doctor explained the situation, his collapse, his coma, and his tumour.
"A brain tumour?"
The doctor nodded. "The operation was a success but even after you leave the hospital, you'll have to return for tests. Just to make sure."
James was quiet, looking down at his hands again. Meowth had retreated to sit beside him, a paw on his arm as if to keep constant contact, as if to make sure James didn't disappear.
Then he spoke again, the coldness in his tone sending a chill down Jessie's spine. "Who are these two?"
The nurse's expression changed from relief and happiness to utter shock. The doctor's face paled, his gentleness hardening, turning serious.
"James? Can you explain what you mean?"
He looked up. "I don't know her. Or the Meowth." He paused, licking his dry lips. "Who am I?"
-#-
It was the day that James was being discharged. He stood at the desk, tugging at his shirt collar as the nurse organised his papers. She smiled up at him. "Everything's ready now. You can go home now."
He nodded, "Thank you for everything."
He turned to leave and spotted the red-haired girl standing at the end of the corridor, waiting for him at the elevator. James bowed his head and walked towards her. Home? I don't even know where that is . All I can do is rely on what others tell me.
Reaching her, James halted, pressing the elevator button for them. I should probably say something. "Thanks for picking me up."
"No problem," she replied. "You don't know where we live anyway."
We? He ground his teeth. I don't know you, why is it expected that I live with you?
He sighed as the elevator doors opened. He stepped inside, the girl following him. As they descended, he studied her. Her name was Jessie and apparently they had worked together for years. They were friends and had always been together. They were part of a trio – him, Jessie and Meowth.
Thinking of the cat Pokémon, he glanced around. Meowth was normally always by his side and it was strange for him not to be. "Where's the cat?"
Jessie blinked, a faint flicker of surprise on her face at his question. "He's at home. He wanted to get everything prepared for you."
"I see." He stared at the metal sheen of the elevator door, wishing it would open soon. He pulled at his shirt collar again.
Noticing the movement, Jessie turned. "Is it too tight for you? I tried to get your size, but I suppose it's no good if you're not there, right?" She reached up, meaning to straighten his collar for him. His eyes widened slightly and he grabbed her wrist, taking a step back.
"James?"
Ah. He released her, turning away. "Sorry."
"No, am sorry – I shouldn't have done that." She looked sad, her eyes downcast, watching her feet. She probably wants the doors to open aswell.
Their hopes answered, the metal doors slid open and they stepped into the lobby. Jessie led the way towards the front door, greeting people on the way. It was the same outside. People called her name, waving. They seemed surprised yet happy at his presence but didn't approach them. It was like they all knew who he was and knew not to put pressure on him.
I hate this.
People knew more about him than he did himself. These people were strangers both to him and his past self yet they still smiled at him.
"Here we go." Jessie had stopped before a three-storey building. She pointed to some stairs that were at the side of the building. "We're on the third floor."
They ascended the stairs and upon reaching the third floor were greeted by a grinning teenage girl.
"Lisa!" Jessie exclaimed.
The girl giggled somewhat sheepishly. "Am sorry. I know you told me that you would introduce me when he settled in, but I just had to see him!"
James shuffled uncomfortably, raising his head higher. He glanced at Jessie who was watching him from the corner of her eye. She turned back to the girl.
"Just a quick one, yeah?"
Lisa nodded. She stepped around Jessie, offering her hand to him. "My name's Lisa. I'm your neighbour – I live on the second floor with my aunt. I've heard a lot about you!"
James stared at the hand. "Heard a lot about me?" he repeated.
The girl opened her mouth, then shut it again, realizing that she had made a mistake. A few moments past and when it was obvious he wasn't going to shake her hand, she lowered it.
"Where's the apartment?" he asked Jessie.
"Ah, um…"she retrieved a key from her bag. "It's the far end one."
He took the key and walked past the two girls, hearing Jessie mumble "sorry" as she followed him.
Damn it. Don't apologize for me.
He unlocked the door and stepped inside. Jessie came in after him, closing the door behind them. Glancing around, he saw that the apartment was pristine, as if someone had only just finished cleaning. It was large enough for two people and the furniture seemed prepared for two – the two-seater sofa, the two chairs at the small dining table…
A click of claws against tiled floor warned James of the incoming cat Pokémon that was rushing towards him. "Ja-!"
He caught him mid-leap and carefully placed him back on the floor. The cat looked disappointed for a moment but the happy glint in his eyes seemed to sparkle as he spoke, "Welcome home!"
James glanced around again. "Yeah." He mumbled.
Jessie walked past him and beckoned him to one of the closed doors. "This is your room."
He looked in to see a single bed pushed against the wall, a bedside table, a set of drawers with a few photo frames decorating it. The walls were painted a pale blue, nearly white, and the bed covers were a grey and red pattern. Was this what I liked in the past? Or is it Jessie's choice?
Jessie moved to the wardrobe and opened it. "I brought a few shirts and there are more clothes in the drawers," she flashed a smile. "I got them before you woke up so they are bigger than the one you're wearing now."
She closed the wardrobe, her hand remaining on the wood, her eyes down as if suddenly finding the ground very interesting. The room was silent. Then, "This is your home, James."
"Yeah." He put his hands into his trouser pockets and leant against the doorframe.
"No," she was shaking her head. "This is your home. It always will be, okay?"
James didn't reply. He pushed away from the doorframe, peering closer at the photos she had placed in his room. There was one of him and Meowth, the Pokémon attempting to reach something in his hands, James laughing. It didn't look like him. There was a photo of all three of them, stood together, looking at the camera with fixed smiles.
Then the third one. He picked it up, wanting a better look at it. It was of him and Jessie. He had her arm around her shoulders and she didn't look too happy about it. It was the way the James in the photo looked at Jessie that drew his attention. His green eyes were gentle, a small smile on his lips. It was as if he had found his purpose, as if he held the world in his hands and he loved what he saw.
Love?
James replaced the photo. Had he loved Jessie? He looked at her now and felt…nothing. Perhaps not then.
He sighed, trailing his fingers through his hair. It was longer now than the James of the photos and the messy locks tickled his chin.
"I could cut it for you."
"Huh?" he glanced up.
"I could cut your hair, if you'd like?" Jessie was smiling.
He considered it but then shook his head. For some reason since he had woken up he couldn't bear having people close to him, couldn't bear people touching him. When she had reached for his shirt in the elevator fear had risen in his chest. The thought of having her near him, cutting his hair, having him in a vulnerable position scared him. The doctor had suggested it was due to not being able to trust someone who you knew nothing of yet seemed to know everything about you.
"No, thanks." He touched his neck. "Can I have a shower?"
Jessie seemed to have a spark of energy and she straightened, "Yeah, of course, yes…" she disappeared from the room then returned, towel in hand. "Here you go."
He kept a distance from her and reached to take the towel, nodding in thanks.
"There's some soap and everything that you should need beside the sink."
She showed him to the bathroom and then left him. After a while, he looked back out, his face at the door. Jessie was stood in the kitchen, hands planted on the dining table, her head bowed and her hair covering her face. Meowth was standing on the table, a comforting paw on her shoulder.
I'm breaking her.
He turned away, closing the door and started to undress, grateful to remove the confining shirt. After his shower, he stood in front of the mirror. He stared into the green eyes, not recognizing himself at all. Who am I? But the eyes maintained their clear gaze, so empty that it terrified him. There was nothing. He had nothing.
Looking down he spotted a man's toilet bag beside the sink. Unzipping it he found an electric razor, shaving foam, a comb, toothpaste and a toothbrush.
He took out the razor and checked to see if it contained batteries. It did. He looked at the James in the mirror. He touched his face, the James in the mirror following the action. Who are you? But the face didn't tell him.
Picking up the razor, he spread his fingers in his long wet hair. He then started the razor and brought it to his head, his blue hair falling.
Returning the razor to the toilet bag, he looked in the mirror. His hair was now a fine blue, cut close to his skin.
Who are you?
"I am me." He whispered, the mirror James' lips forming the words silently. His fingers felt the scar that ran across the top of his head, once hidden by hair but now clear to see.
Who am I?
"I am James." He whispered back. And I am no one.