Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
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If it were not for training with Team Gai and specifically with Tenten, Sakura would have been turned into swiss cheese by all the kunai and shuriken her pursuer was throwing.
She leapt from tree to tree, narrowly missing the sharped edge weapons aimed at her torso. The man trying to kill her was catching up with each mile of forest she covered and soon he would literally be on her heels.
"You guys better be ready or I swear this target won't last much longer." Sakura hissed into her earpiece.
Regardless of the fact that Sakura served time in ANBU and became the renowned Neo Copy-nin, she still ended up playing bait to capture their target. Sure, no one knew the face behind the mask of her title but it was still annoying to act like an inexperienced Chunin fumbling through the forest.
She gritted her teeth and jumped out of the trees into the previously designated capture spot. Holding her ground in front of a small creak, Sakura waited as the man that had tailed her for over 6 miles dropped in front of her. She finally got her first real look at the target that had been at her back for so long.
Supposedly he was a dangerous S-class criminal that acted as a runner of information from one subversive faction to another. Having the ability to communicate between rebel groups is a considerable advantage over the hidden villages and while they did not like to work together, this was a nuisance that needed to be taken care of. Thus the reason Naruto had deployed herself, Kakashi, and Genma on this assignment.
Sakura sized up the target in front of her and honestly she only thought young and cocky. The man continued to grin from ear to ear as he raked a disgusting look over her body. She desperately wanted to punch his lights out. But he was so very important and had information they needed to extract, so she must not do that, yet.
"Looks like this is the end of the road." He said in a dark voice.
Great, he's a talker. Sakura cursed her misfortune and hoped her team would be there soon so they could dispatch of the scum of the earth that eyed her like easy prey. He's distracted enough to chase her through the forest without thought that she might have backup. It was a wonder he had never been caught or killed.
"Right. Try saying something less predictable. Perhaps the locations of the men you work for." Sakura spoke sweetly.
Her voice seemed to amuse the man further. He took a step toward her and Sakura followed his movement by taking one step back.
"Scared of me? That's alright because all I really want is to hurt you. Hurt you bad."
She glared and tried to suppress her revulsion at the way his words seemed to reach out and wrap around her. Many men would act this way towards her and some like this creep really got under her skin. At least now she didn't have to resort to seduction to take out her targets.
"You can't hurt me. A poorly thrown kunai doesn't exactly yell danger. But it doesn't matter much because my team has arrived and you are out of luck."
In the surrounding forest, Sakura could make out silver hair and the telltale glint of a senbon. She smiled broadly at no longer having to hold a conversation with him.
The man glanced around him and took in the same sight but when he turned back to her there was a smirk on his face. "Five seconds, Cherry."
She froze in place at the nickname. Without hands signs as an indication, two streams of fire came hurtling towards Sakura at an unbelievable rate. Sakura's eyes widened in shock before her body's reflexes responded by violently twisting around and diving into the water behind her.
The creak as most creaks go wasn't deep enough and she felt the scorching heat of flames lick her back right before her side smacked into a rock protruding from the bed. The pain momentarily engulfed her conscience and Sakura briefly thought that this might be the worst pain she'd ever had the displeasure of feeling and how nice it would be to pass out right now.
But these thoughts ended when she was pulled out of the water and brought back to the reality of the situation. Arms held her up and shifted Sakura until she was slung over a very familiar shoulder.
Kakashi made sure not to place his hands over her back. Before he went into the creak to retrieve her, he saw the fire touch her skin and knew it was serious. Genma had already subdued their target and while he interrogated him, it was up to Kakashi to set up camp and make sure their medic wasn't severely injured.
Sakura watched from Kakashi's back as he made his way into the forest. She didn't take her eyes off of the detained man. Genma had him on his front with his hands tied behind his back and suspiciously the senbon was absent from the Jonin's mouth this one time. Sakura paled to think where he had stuck it to start the interrogation.
From underneath her, Sakura felt Kakashi jump up into the tree branches. She took one last glimpse at the two on the ground. The man turned his head at that moment and looked straight at her through the branches. Even caught his eyes sparkled with triumph. Sakura forced herself to look away and shifted her focus on Kakashi as he began to move through the forest.
After a few miles Kakashi decided that a small area between the large overhanging trees would be as good a spot as any. He was also concerned by the lack of moving on Sakura's part since he picked her up.
He carefully set her down on the ground next to one of the larger tree trunks with her back to the air. She sighed, in pain or exhaustion he couldn't tell. Now up close Kakashi could see the damage done by that fire jutsu. Her back was a mix of dried blood and blisters that invited infection. Sakura chose to look away from Kakashi's probing eyes but even she couldn't ignore him indefinitely.
"How do you want me to help?" He asked.
The pain was blurring into numbness and Sakura couldn't focus her mind. She regretted coming on this mission the instant their target spoke those three words. Things from the past were meant to be kept there. She shouldn't have to be reminded of the things that happened during her ANBU career.
"Sakura." Kakashi gently shook her shoulder. She banished those thoughts from her mind and went into medic mode.
"Well… I need to remove my shirt but I can't tell if it's burned on."
Sakura waited with bated breath for him to respond and hoped that for once fire defied logic and didn't burn through everything it touched. "It is."
She sucked in a breath. The only way to remove the material would be to rip it away. "I guess you know what I need you to do." Sakura joked with a tight lipped smile.
One look at the Copy-nin said he was not amused and Sakura instantly sobered. She tried to ignore the giddy feeling of adrenaline that coursed through her body.
"Sorry it's my nerves. I'll need water to clean the wound as well."
Kakashi nodded and made a few hand signs. With a poof of smoke Uhei, one of his dog summons appeared. He fished out a container from his bag and tossed it to the pup.
"Grab some fresh water from that stream nearby and be careful not to spill or contaminate it." He commanded. Uhei picked up the container with his teeth and quickly took off in the direction of the water source.
From the same bag Kakashi took out rubbing alcohol and some bandages. He set them down carefully next to his side and pulled off his gloves. Sakura focused on the foliage in front of her and idly wondered if there would be new scars added to the ones already there.
"Kakashi you'll need to pull off the shirt in strips. There's no way it will come off in one go. I'll try my best to focus chakra out through my pores, which should stop the skin from coming off with the fabric…I hope." She murmured the last part.
That was the part he was most concerned about, that and he knew how painful this was going to be for her. But there was no choice. If the wound got infected then there would be a lot more problems to deal with later. With that in his mind, Kakashi braced an arm across her shoulder blades to keep her still. Sakura tensed at the feel of his arm and took deep breaths to calm herself.
Without any more buildup, Kakashi grabbed a bit of fabric and pulled back swiftly.
Sakura let out a small cry.
Hearing it killed him.
But he didn't want to pause for a second and soon another strip of fabric came off. This time Sakura only whimpered and somehow managed to keep up a steady stream of chakra to her back. A few more times this continued until the wounds were completely bare and fabric had piled up.
Sakura remained perfectly still and focused on breathing through the pain even as tears pooled in her eyes. Her only saving grace was the chakra providing relief from the pain but she needed to conserve it too.
There was a soft patter of paws approaching them and she turned her head toward Uhei as he set the dish of water next to Kakashi's leg. He came up real close to Sakura's face and rubbed his nose against her cheek then plopped down on his stomach next to her. She raised her hand to pet his head.
"Such a good boy. If you're around later when I'm better I'll give you a treat."
The ninkin barked in acknowledgement before settling down. Kakashi watched her from the corner of his eye while he began the process of cleaning the wounds.
"You know you aren't supposed to feed the dogs or treat them like pets." He commented before sweeping a damp cloth down her back.
Sakura shivered at the cool feeling of water on her bare skin. The outside temperature dropped along with the sun on the horizon. "But they're always so helpful and of course strong. And you spoil them all the time by letting them sleep in bed with you." She reminded him.
Kakashi continued to clean the wounds without responding to her barb. The skin was already looking much better since the initial injury since Sakura's chakra had it already starting to scab over. With a little more healing there was sure to be no scarring. He was relieved.
"Should I dress the wound?"
"No. It needs air to heal." Sakura replied.
"The sun is almost completely gone. It'll be freezing soon." He stated, worried about her wellbeing.
"If we set up camp quickly and a fire, I will be fine for the rest of the night and by morning the burns will be gone."
Sakura smiled and proceeded to sit up. As she moved a pain radiated down her side and spread towards her chest. She doubled over and grunted from the unexpected jolt. Kakashi was by her side and supporting her in a second. He peered at the right side she clutched with one hand and saw the almost completely dark blue and black bruise covering a large expanse of skin.
"Sakura, your side."
She also looked at her right side in shock by the damage present there. If it wasn't for the burns on her back she would have felt this sooner. The dive into the water had to be the cause and from the pain of it she fractured a rib. "Damn, I can't believe I didn't notice it." She reprimanded herself.
Slightly embarrassed, Sakura brought her hand to her side and began mending the injured rib. Kakashi remained seated behind her, supporting her weight to keep her sitting up right. Sakura focused on her healing and tried her best to forget that she was topless on a mission with Kakashi.
They had been together for only four months and this was the first time they had been assigned a mission together. Naruto only allowed this because it was an A-verging-on-S-rank mission. Otherwise the Hokage was a stickler for the rule about people involved not working on the same team.
So despite their outgoing personalities this was very new territory for the both of them. It was discussed before the mission that at all times they would be professional and not acknowledge being anything other than teammates. If Sakura were her younger self, she doubted she could keep composure for the sake of the mission.
But she knew how easily an enemy could use a personal relationship against you. Or sometimes they just broke you down physically before delving into the psychological.
When the bruise finally became a yellow-greenish colour, Sakura stopped her healing. It would be enough so she didn't waste chakra and let natural healing take over.
"Wow Sakura, you're looking perky." A seductive voice echoed in front of her.
Her hands flew to cover her chest and she glared daggers as Genma appeared out of the trees. There was a senbon back in his mouth and he didn't look at all like he interrogated and disposed of a criminal. Sakura tore her eyes away from his figure to look around for something to cover her front. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing in sight, at least until she eyed her pack nestled on Genma's shoulder.
Discarding her previous embarrassment, Sakura jumped up to her feet and appeared in front of Genma before he could mentally prepare himself. Uhei, roused by the movement around him got up with Sakura and followed obediently behind her.
"Genma how sweet of you to personally deliver my stuff. Now if you'll just hand it over." Sakura used her overly sweet and menacing voice reserved for people like him and Naruto.
Genma smiled happily at the angry kunoichi barely able to cover her chest. Nothing he quite enjoyed more than a topless and flustered woman.
"And why would I ever want to do that Sakura?" He teased.
Uhei growled at his tone and Sakura wanted to bathe him in treats for being protective of her. She glanced back at Kakashi who hadn't moved an inch since Genma showed up and didn't even seem concerned that his overly friendly friend had seen her topless. She suddenly wished to be in a certain Kazekage's office instead in this similar situation.
But then again Sakura wasn't weak and certainly not afraid of stupid Genma. She stepped up close to him, almost enough that her body touched his and with the hand not covering her front, touched his cheek. Sakura leaned her mouth toward his ear as she caressed his face.
"If you don't stop looking at my breasts and if you don't give me my bag, I'm going to take your favourite play toy and use it to make an unwanted piercing on your other favourite play toy." She threatened.
Sakura pulled away to smile at the frightened shinobi. His hand moved on autopilot and handed over her bag immediately. She graciously accepted it and rummaged around before pulling out one of her long sleeved shirts and tying it around her front. This way her wound wouldn't be covered but her important bits were.
"There we go. And now-"
Sakura swayed on her feet as the chakra drain from healing hit her in a wave. Jokes aside Genma went to steady her only to be cut off by Kakashi already doing just that.
"I'm fine. I just overdid it a bit with my chakra." She tried to wave Kakashi off but he insisted she at least sit down. Grudgingly, she deferred to her superior and did as told.
"Genma start a fire. Uhei stay here and make sure Sakura doesn't do anything to make her condition worse. I'm gonna go hunt down dinner." He doled out the orders automatically.
Kakashi took off into trees, leaving the other two in each other's company. Although Genma was a pain in the ass most of the time he still took his job seriously and set about making the fire. Within minutes a warm heat filled the small space they occupied and Sakura was grateful for not having to do it herself. Uhei settled next to her when she moved to the fire and idly she began to pet his fur. Genma followed suit and sat next to her and made sure to keep his eyes at face level.
"I'm assuming since you're the medic that you'll be fine?"
"The only thing hurt is my pride. I would've liked the chance to pay him back." She grumbled, referring to a completely different mission involving that man.
"After I was done, there wasn't much left to work with." He stated then pulled out a cigarette. Secretly the thought of Genma carefully using a senbon on the man's smirking face excited her.
"Did he give anything away?"
With Genma's shake of the head, Sakura cursed the already dead man. The man didn't lie, he did hurt her, bad. And months later she acted as bait and again found herself being violated by his eyes and probably his thoughts. This should've at least earned them some tidbit of info. Then again maybe Genma's interrogation technique wasn't very good.
"So the mission was a failure." She stated more than asked.
"You of so little faith, of course I didn't fail."
Genma pulled a scroll from his vest and chucked it towards her. As Sakura unravelled it, Kakashi arrived back at camp with fish in hand. He set about putting the food on spits and laying them above the fire.
"The boy was cocky enough to think it unnecessary to seal the scrolls he was delivering. Damn amateurs." He let out a slow exhale of smoke.
Sakura read the scroll quickly and was surprised by the amount of details it contained. He worked for some powerful people but she already knew that quite well.
"We may not have got loads of information but we have something important here and best of all we disposed of their runner." She nodded along but it didn't feel like a victory. Not to her. Not this time.
Kakashi watched Sakura's expression change from surprise to distant as Genma assured that their mission was a success. He didn't want to mention it because he knew how capable Sakura was, but she froze in front of the enemy and that's the reason she was injured. Nothing would come of telling her that fact, something she probably was already well aware of. The thing that he was more concerned about was why she froze when the target called her 'Cherry'.
He continued tending to the fish to not appear overly observant of her. After a few minutes he pulled the spits off and handed one to Genma and Sakura. She took one look at the fish then passed it to Uhei who greedily devoured it.
"You should eat." He insisted.
She smiled kindly before shaking her head. He knew it wasn't an honest gesture. "No thanks, with this injury I think it would be too painful to eat right now."
Sakura made the lame excuse and knew it wouldn't fool Kakashi, he was the master of poor excuses after all. With the mission coming to a close and her adrenaline high long gone, a small ball of anxiety was forming inside her. She really wanted not to be here with him because it made everything worse and she couldn't control the panic rising in her mind.
Kakashi made no effort to pry or question why she was lying, instead he ate his dinner and talked about the trip home and sending word ahead of what they learned.
Eventually, Genma left camp to take first watch and Sakura fell asleep immediately to rest as much as she could before taking watch after him.
-X-
The splintered wood was a reminder of where she was and that she was alive. It scraped her skin when she moved even the slightest bit and if she focused on that little tug of pain, really focused, then she could drown out the other pains. She could forget about the chakra inhibitors and the way they used her forehead protector as a blindfold. Everything else could be pushed out of her mind except that she was sitting in an uncomfortable chair.
But her will power wasn't enough to escape from reality when she heard his voice through the open door.
"Five seconds, Cherry."
It was said with excitement and smugness from the guard at the door. And it was always followed by the echoing sound of footsteps making their way toward her prison cell. In her head she counted down the time, trying to steel herself mentally against whatever was to come.
Part of her mind, the part that was losing touch with sanity, thought about how the guard knew she had pink hair and not the black it was currently dyed. Or maybe it was only a nickname used to demean and belittle her. It didn't really matter she supposed and perhaps that's why the insane part of her mind was thinking about it instead of the footsteps that had stopped outside the door.
If you became good enough, a shinobi could detach themselves from their body for a period of time. But Sakura wasn't good enough or maybe because as a medic feeling anything was considered better than nothing at all. It didn't matter. All thoughts flew out of her mind when she felt the cool tip of a scalpel on her skin.
"ANBU-san, it's been a waste of time and this pretty flesh to still be keeping silent. So let me say it again, if you tell me something about your village then I would be glad to let you leave. Even though it's in less pieces than you came in with." Sakura could almost imagine her captor smile as he said the last sentence.
She didn't need to see his face to know that right now it looked dirty and sickening. Silence deafened the room because staying silent was the best thing you could do when taken prisoner. At least that's what the academy had taught her. But all too quickly she realized it didn't matter if you talked or kept quiet, no matter what, you were always hurt.
It was no surprise when the blade cut with measured force around her right knee, as if he were trying to carve out the bone. There was no point holding back screams, they tore through her throat, almost as if the sound itself wanted to get far away from the agony.
"Tell me why you were watching this base?"
Honestly, after the fourth day of torture Sakura had resolved to tell them all they wanted to know in exchange for her life. To stop the deep cuts on her arms and back and the drugs they poured into her system.
She felt ashamed for having broken so quickly but to her credit she hadn't said a single thing. In her mind, Sakura knew they wouldn't let her live once she told them and that was the only reason she had remained silent.
But that didn't stop her interrogator from coming back every day and finding some part of her body he hadn't already cut apart. Without a viable escape option, she knew that with the amount of blood loss only another day, if that, stood between death and her.
Knowing what was coming gave her a weird sense of calm and confidence. Sakura thought of how she would miss Naruto and that her greatest regret was the promise he made to her when they were genin.
The man grew impatient and stabbed straight through the inner muscle of her thigh, mere centimeters from the femoral artery. She managed to bite back a cry by grinding her teeth together.
She hoped Naruto would be able to clean up the remains of Konoha's history and be the only Hokage who didn't keep secrets from the citizens. And also put a cap on the amount of dangerous missions Kakashi did.
When her thoughts turned to the Copy-nin, her calm began to slip and her ability to cope with dying on these bastards terms slipped with it. Would he think poorly of her having been caught by the enemy? For not escaping? Maybe if an afterlife existed for her she could properly explain everything. That she endured the hours of torture without uttering a single word and how every time Sakura thought of him she desperately wondered what Kakashi would do in her situation.
But she knew the answer to that.
Her voice came out rough from lack of use. "The reason I came out here…was because…I got lost…on the path of life."
For the first time since she had been captured Sakura spoke and for the first time she cried.
Sakura opened her eyes slowly, tears still streamed down her face with the last dredges of her dreams. But dreams eventually are forgotten, it was memories that you couldn't escape from.
The flickering fire in the camp reminded her that those memories were in the past. The calm breathing coming from Kakashi asleep beside the fire comforted her haggard thoughts and raw feelings.
A whoosh of air almost smothered the fire as Genma flew into camp from his shift on watch. Sakura hastily wiped away her remaining tears. Slapping on her medic's pouch she got up from her bed roll and shot off towards the perimeter of their camp before Genma could report.
He sat down on his own sleeping area and lit a cigarette. After a long first drag he released a string of curling smoke toward the night sky.
"She has ghosts. We both know how bad it is to have something at your back that you can't escape from."
Genma didn't need to look at his old friend to know that he was awake and listening. It was up to Kakashi what he did to help her and depending on what he did would show how much he actually cared about the medic. Genma could easily believe that Sakura loved his best friend but he couldn't say the same for Kakashi based on how long and how well he has known him.
He wasn't going to pretend to understand their relationship, what he cared for was whether they were happy and still strong shinobi together.
Genma smothered the rest of his smoke on the ground and flopped down to rest. In ten minutes, he had relaxed to the point of sleep and just before he dozed off he heard his companion get up and follow the direction Sakura had taken.
-X-
Chakra was life. Sakura always felt that way and as she grew to understand all the intricacies of this energy, the more she believed that statement.
She sat cross legged in a tree and released chakra into the large plant and soon she felt everything as an extension of her own body. This was the secret to her ability to copy techniques. Every jutsu required chakra, so theoretically having perfect chakra control and the proper training could allow you to copy other ninja's techniques.
For her with no bloodline limit or being born with a Jinchuriki, this was a unique ability and unexpected from a regular shinobi. But the technique still had downsides. Depending on the jutsu, large amounts of chakra were sometimes needed. That's why she limited copied jutsus to defensive only or in worst case scenarios.
Using what she learned from Gaara's sand jutsu, Sakura moved and stilled the leaves of the tree she sat on. It was a relaxing feeling. Like she alone could control nature and could be the wind.
An ebb in her chakra alerted her to a person's presence at the base of the tree. She knew that chakra well. Breaking her concentration, she pulled back her chakra from the tree. Peering down below at the ground, Kakashi's silver hair made an identifiable outline in the pitch black night.
"Your watch is not for a few more hours. Unless you're here because you feel bad about me taking the middle shift?" Sakura joked.
When an answer was not forthcoming, she slipped off the branch and landed in front of Kakashi. His covered face was barely seen in the dark but she could just make out where his mask ended and where the one solitary eye stood out. And his brow was scrunched, something she always took to mean he was worried.
"What is it?" Her voice serious.
"There's something wrong. I thought it was because of your injuries. But it's not. The target, he said 'Five seconds, Cherry' and you froze. Why?"
Sakura wasn't prepared for a confrontation with him about her actions. She got injured but she took care of the wounds and they were still able to complete the mission, he had no reason to be asking about that other stuff. However, he was still her superior and she had to report to him like any other subordinate.
She took a step back to maintain a professional distance. "I apologize for not maintaining composure, Captain. I ran into our target before on another mission. Unfortunately, my interactions with him were unresolved."
Kakashi hated her calm and detached voice. She answered his question but he hadn't meant for it to be in a subordinate capacity. The step back she took he made up for with one of his own. To show he was here for her not as team leader but as himself, Kakashi pulled down his mask. When it was on he could never be truly honest or dare ask for her to be. It was a barrier for him as a shinobi, an elusive and lazy person, but without it he was only a man.
"Sakura, you can tell me. Whatever it is."
A lump formed in her throat. His face was comforting and definitely unexpected out here in the forest. She felt compelled to tell him everything. There was nothing she wanted to keep from this man. But her heart started beating double time as shame and fear took over her mind. She ran a shaky hand through her hair then rubbed her arm in an attempt to warm herself as a cold dread came over her.
"Six months into ANBU and I hadn't made a single mistake, every mission I accepted ended in success. As a result, I was over confident and aiming big. I went after a group of S-rank rogues and instead of reporting back to Kazekage and arranging a large group assault, I went in alone. That's when I was caught."
Sakura's eye shifted towards the ground before she told the next part.
"I wasn't prepared at all. They were able to trap me and completely shut off access to my chakra. I knew what to expect as a prisoner but really…I would never be ready for what came. They blindfolded me, so I didn't see the man that tortured me but I always knew when he was coming. Our target he was the guard there, he would give me five second warnings before the interrogator arrived and then he would call me that name." Her voice shook as it came out.
"I tried my best to resist and didn't say anything. But by the fourth day I was ready to give in. What they had done and planned on doing to me was too much. I wanted to tell them everything, about me, about Konoha. There was nothing I wouldn't say to have them stop." She whispered the last part.
Hearing this information, Kakashi was torn between anger with her for giving away things about their village and anger with those people that had tortured her endlessly. The latter quickly won over the former though. How could he blame her in that situation or anyone who had to endure the cruelty dealt to a prisoner? "So you told them everything?" His voice matching hers in the same low octave.
Sakura looked up at his face finally and saw pity there. Anger bubbled up at being pitied, like it was inevitable that Sakura would give in. He could yell at her and be disappointed in her but she refused to be pitied.
"No. For almost two weeks I didn't say a single word. I knew those promises of my freedom were lies. They would just dispose of me quicker and I selfishly wanted to live as long as possible even if it meant torture every day. But the anger and hopelessness I felt continued to grow and I snapped...I ended up telling them I had gotten lost on the path of life." She smiled grimly at her comment.
Kakashi, at a loss for words and confused beyond them remained silent as she continued her story.
"Gaara sent out a team when I didn't check in. When they found the base everyone jumped ship but Temari was able to take down the majority of them. She found me in the basement, blindfolded, restrained, and close to death. I was rushed to Suna and eventually my wounds healed and the entire incident became a classified file that at my request the Kazekage never told Naruto about it."
He didn't understand why she was upset. By not telling them anything under duress Sakura had gone above and beyond her job as a Hidden Leaf ninja. It was not an easy thing to have shinobi risk their lives absolutely for their village.
"You managed to survive and didn't give in to the torture. Sakura, you did everything right."
Her eyes blazed flames and she forgot all about being quiet.
"I didn't! I became a traitor. It may not have been in words but in my heart I betrayed the village, I betrayed Naruto…I betrayed you!"
Chakra flared around her fists and for the first time in a while she felt weak and wanted to prove she wasn't by hitting something. Hard. After that incident, Sakura had vowed never to let those kinds of thoughts in again, no matter the circumstance. But the guilt of the first and last betrayal refused to leave.
Kakashi stood still, unsure of how he should help her. He should not dare to touch her when she couldn't control her chakra. What could he say to her even? That it wasn't a betrayal? It was but it didn't hold the same meaning as going to the enemy and telling them everything.
But for her he was willing to absorb some risk. He leaned in toward her and extended his hand around her small frame. Sakura resisted as Kakashi pulled her close to him in an uncharacteristic display of intimacy. His body exuded heat but she wasn't about to be comforted into silence.
"You can hit me if you want and fight me if you have to but just listen to me for a bit first." Her body remained tense but she stopped fighting against his hold. "I can't blame you for what you felt. I've been in that situation before."
Sakura eyes squeezed shut and knew the time he was referring to. Recently, she had discovered two long-since healed knife wounds on the back of Kakashi's ankles. Like most of the scars he carried there was a story behind them and she asked to hear that one.
Every shinobi makes a life or death mistake in their career, sometimes several of them. Kakashi had been captured by several S-class ninja's hoping to gather intel on Konoha from a young boy who knew many of its secrets. They sliced the tendons in his ankles partly to keep him from escaping, partly to get him to talk, and partly for the sick pleasure of breaking him down.
She was reminded of her own experience when Kakashi had told the entire mission from start to finish without reservation or any other strong emotions. At first anger filled her at hearing how truly disgusting people can be and to a teenager no less. However, Sakura felt great admiration for her partner, the infamous Copy-nin, who had survived torture. He was noble where she was weak.
Kakashi pulled back from her, their eyes met and he tried to convey what he wanted her to realize about herself and him.
"Sakura, listen to me. True strength comes at the cost of being broken a little."
Silence. A tear splashed against her cheek. "But I'm so broken…" She whispered.
His thumb smoothed away the moisture from her face. The same hand caressed her cheek with his rough palm. "No, love, you're very much strength."
Her barriers gave way from his gentleness. "Kakashi!" Sakura vaulted towards his chest, his arms caught her small form and kept her close to him.
Her slender hands tightened around his flak jacket. She knew he was right, of course he was. For the pain she endured, Sakura became a different person. And not just from that one time.
She began to talk fast and almost incoherently. "I'm sorry! I just couldn't escape it. The room I was held in, the feel of the chair I was tied to. When the cold metal of a scalpel was drawn across the skin. And his voice. Taunting me, scaring me for what was about to come. I wanted to forget! But you never forget."
In Sakura's past everything that happened contributed to the kunoichi she was. Knowing this it became easier to let go of her pain. She had endured.
Sakura's hands on his jacket pushed back slightly allowing her some room to breathe and let the last of her emotions run their course. Deep breaths helped her emotionally and physically exhausted self calm down. Finally, she found resolve.
Kakashi remained silent and chose to watch her actions. Darkness made it difficult to really see her and without the use of the Sharingan, but he could see the subtle puffiness of the skin under her eyes that indicated her tears. The cool air came out in long puffs from Sakura as she forcefully took long breaths. She was only wearing the long shirt tied around her front from earlier, she must be cold.
He thought of how much she changed. Shadows or remnants of her past self remained but were altered. Her smiles a little more guarded but sometimes when only Kakashi and Sakura were together she would smile like she had when she was sixteen. Tinged by only the briefest pains but full of hope. It remained the only thing he coveted more than the woman herself.
"I'm in love with you."
Sakura froze mid breath and her eyes widened a fraction. The gears in her head turned at a snail's pace trying to process his words. Then it hit her. "You bastard! Don't say that kind of thing now!" She yelled.
Kakashi could only muster a smile in response. Despite her words, a pretty blush covered Sakura's cheeks and the smile he so loved was barely concealed.
.
.