Chapter 1 of DCC #5 is up and running. As always, enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: Contra belongs to Konami, whereas Bomberman still remains a property of Hudson Soft as of March 1, 2012. WarioWare, on the other hand, is owned by Nintendo. Any songs "used" throughout the course of this fanfic are properties of their respective owners, along with any characters that aren't within the three franchises listed here, unless stated otherwise.
Chapter 1: The beginning of a World War III...
[Opening BGM: Sector 1 (SRX) (Metroid Fusion)]
JULY 13, 20XX...
"You're doing well, but why continue this pointless conflict? We'd just end up killing each other, anyway."
"What do you want, Red Falcon?" I demanded, keeping my guard up cautiously.
"To bestow upon you the power of the Crimson Stone that Purple Basilisk recreated for me, under my supervision. You've shown us your great strength, your pure intellect, and even perseverance. Think about it: we could rule the universe together, and none shall ever think about killing you anymore, let alone stage a petty rebellion. Take it in your hands, and you'll have everything you've ever dreamed of: power, riches, an eternal life in paradise..."
"An eternal life in paradise with the likes of you?" Cute Pink scoffed. "As if!"
"She's right. It's obviously not what 9-Volt, Phoebe, and all our close friends would have wanted," agreed Cheerful White.
"You would dare to decline what the Crimson Stone has to offer? You two are obviously not born on planet Earth, but think of it this way: you and your friends could live forever, and not worry about anybody coming to kill you, much less slit your throat."
Mona shook her head no. "That stone is evil. It offers nothing but the curse of a vampire. Mathias Cronqvist let himself be swayed by the power he created to have eternal youth, and became Dracula willingly so he could curse our Heavenly Father for 'stealing' his beloved Elisabetha from him. It wasn't just the Belmont clan and their blessed Vampire Killer that did him in time and time again; it was also his own twisted delusions that led to his repeated downfall. Even his own son, Alucard, disagreed with his plans to cover our world in eternal darkness."
"In other words," said Wario, "you can take that stone and shove it where the sun don't shine! We don't trust you and your bullcrap!"
"What ails you?! Have you no ambition?! Your own people selfishly start wars, you kill each other just to show the world your self-proclaimed godly power! Because of everything that's happened, your pathetic kind have grown sick of what your planet has become today. Take the Crimson Stone that Sniper Bomber and I intend to share only with you now, and we'll change everything by building a new world where crime, poverty, pollution, and all such heresy no longer exist."
"That may be so," said Bill, "but unlike you and your scumbag followers, we humans are capable of learning from history overall, so that we wouldn't repeat the potentially devastating mistakes we might have made years, decades, even centuries ago."
"What we're saying is," added Lance, "we'd rather destroy the Crimson Stone than join the likes of you. I mean, that's why you always lose. You don't want to unify Earth, you want to conquer it!"
"No! Wait! Hold on! It's cool! Everything's cool! Th-think about what you're doing!"
"Just the right thing," said Ami, "and that's by destroying you, Sniper Bomber, and the Crimson Stone!"
"NOOOOOO!" Red Falcon cried out, his body disintegrating from our combined attacks that broke through his own. "DAMN YOU, CONTRAS! I...WILL...NOT...DIE!"
On that very day, we, the Four Contras, had finally succeeded in destroying the vile Red Falcon to save the universe. Though we considered ourselves the heroes of Earth, we had an uneasy feeling that Sniper Bomber and Purple Basilisk were still alive. In fact, they are...just lost somewhere in space. Little did we know they made a crash-landing onto a distant, icy planetoid within the Freezeflame Galaxy, that one might recognize from Super Mario Galaxy...
"I don't believe this!" Purple Basilisk complained. "We go from being trapped in the underworld to being stuck in the freakin' ice! What more could go wrong?!"
"The fact that we lost our leader, in addition to Axe Bomber and the other Hate Bombers," snarled Sniper Bomber.
The Chaotic Bombers, despite being wounded from the crash, were able to stand up. Boxer Bomber said, "Hey, don't sweat it, master Basilisk! It could be worse, you know."
"But just remember," interrupted Sniper Bomber, "you and your Chaotic Bombers work for me now. Don't even think I have forgotten about the day you willingly usurped Lord Red Falcon's throne."
Purple Basilisk sighed, not wanting to hear what Sniper just said to him. "Yes, yes, I know that! You don't have to keep hammering it in!"
"I'll do it however I want, until you really learn your place and start obeying us again! Right now, we need to fix our ship, get off this planetoid, and search the far reaches of space for reinforcements...even if we have to bribe a bunch of intergalactic soldiers to join our cause! And then we can come right back at the Contras, only ten times as worse. I personally guarantee it."
"Sniper Bomber is right on one thing," agreed Warlock Bomber, "but how can we be sure they won't kill us so easily?"
"I have an idea on how we can turn the tables," said Sniper Bomber, "and before anybody asks, I know just how to do it. It is unfortunate the Crimson Stone has been utterly destroyed, but mark my words: we are not to let the incident occur again!"
As the days of hard labor went by, the leader of the Hate Bombers was updating the ship's computer's log entry time after time...
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.2
JULY 31, 20XX AD
2230
SNIPER BOMBER
July 31, 20XX...it sure as hell had been around two weeks since we lost badly to Aaron, Ami, Blaze Bomber, and all of their friends - especially Bill Rizer and Lance Bean. Oh, how I despise those meddlesome Contras with a vengeance! We never imagined that even a pair of Bomber-children like Cheerful White and Cute Pink could assist in giving us so much trouble. It's unbelievable that they wrecked our plans, obliterated three of my fellow Hate Bombers, and killed Red Falcon at the same time! Worst of all, they destroyed Pandaemonium, formerly the Devil's castle of hell, and sent us careening into the Freezeflame Galaxy, leaving us with little to no power left to escape! Despite our efforts to repair our escape pod and convert it into an actual warship, it's freezing as hell. To quote Purple Basilisk: we go from being trapped in the underworld beneath the Earth's surface, to being stuck in this icy prison of a galaxy in outer space!
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.3
AUGUST 1, 20XX AD
0915
SNIPER BOMBER
I still remember the olden days, where we, the Hate Bombers, were a gruesome foursome to those who opposed us. Arctic Bomber, Mistress of the Cold...Axe Bomber, Heavy-Duty Chopper...Blaze Bomber, Pyro-Maniacal Fiend...and finally, me - Sniper Bomber, King of the Snipers. We were an unstoppable force that served Red Falcon as his loyal generals, even to this day. Our old bodies were destroyed centuries ago, leaving our souls trapped in the netherworld until now. We arose again in our new Bomberman-like bodies, taking on the title of "Hate Bombers." Still, that didn't save us from being killed by Bill Rizer and Lance Bean...though I am aware Blaze wasn't anything like us to begin with. I just know I should've killed him myself while I had the chance before the Contras eventually discovered the truth about his well being! But, I digress...
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.4
AUGUST 1, 20XX AD
1210
SNIPER BOMBER
Five years have now passed since we started - and lost - the Alien Wars against the Earthers. We have a new breed of enemies to deal with besides Bill and Lance: Aaron, Ami, Wario, Mona, 9-Volt, Phoebe, Cheerful White, and even Cute Pink. Even that 9-Volt kid's mother got in the act of saving their skins just before we killed them when they were down at the ruins of Castlevania - in Romania, no less. And when they recovered from their injuries, they attacked us at Pandaemonium, severed our offer to make them our new followers with the Crimson Stone, and killed Lord Red Falcon in the end! As for Arctic Bomber, she left the Red Falcon Empire after having been fired from the Hate Bombers, for she wished to pursue her own goal. What her goal is, we don't know for sure, but it doesn't matter, as she was useless due to her overwhelming immaturity and sick obsession with making Aaron her "slave boy." Because of this, the Hate Bombers were pretty much crippled, leaving only me, Axe Bomber, Volcano Bomber, and Metamorph Bomber...
Another hour since Sniper Bomber's recent log entry, the escape pod was finally repaired and converted into an actual warship. Sniper and Purple Basilisk, with the Chaotic Bombers at their side, departed the Freezeflame Galaxy without delay and began the search for the worst kind of scum in the galaxy to add to their crippled army.
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.5
AUGUST 1, 20XX AD
1400
SNIPER BOMBER
We were finally in luck. We managed to fix our escape pod, mostly by modifying it into a warship of our own. We were very fortunate to have downloaded Red Falcon's DNA onto this computer in case of emergency. Right now, we began working on the resurrection of my second-in-command, Axe Bomber. He will be back in full power in a matter of hours. Of course, the revival of our Lord Red Falcon is another story, but our main priority is finding the deadliest of intergalactic warriors worthy of joining our cause in dominating the forsaken planet Earth.
A few hours since Sniper Bomber's latest log entry had passed. The Red Falcon Empire wasted no time reviving Axe Bomber, while debating as to whether they should also do the same for Volcano Bomber or wait until later. They had other plans, for they received intel about a certain group of alien cyborgs that were destroyed years ago, prior to the Alien Wars.
"According to what we've researched so far," Purple Basilisk explained, "there lies a group of alien Bombermen on a small junk planet, all dead as an old flashlight battery. In other words, they were decimated long ago by the same brat, Cheerful White, whom we crossed swords with before. But he didn't do it alone; he was accompanied by Cool Black, said to be his former rival this day."
Warlock Bomber added, "These alien Bombermen go by the title 'Five Dastardly Bombers'. It's said that an alien entity named Bagular created them not long before he and said creations were wiped out by White and Black. Now, our moment of triumph is here! Once we revive the Five Dastardly Bombers and then regain our full power, we'll ensure total victory!"
Axe Bomber had doubts about this plan. "But we can't just march all over the planet! Aaron and his friends will kill us in minutes! Seriously, they're no slouches, y'know!"
"Rest assured," said Sniper Bomber, "this won't happen again!"
"But how?! Their Contra pals still got those holy weapons to back them up! They just know we're gonna come back for them!"
"With all due respect, Axe Bomber, you're wrong. What we're planning to do will surely turn the tables in our favor. All in good time..."
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.6
AUGUST 1, 20XX AD
2140
SNIPER BOMBER
Hours after Axe Bomber's revival, and recuperating from our past failures and defeats, we departed for a small junk planet. On the way, we learned from intel that the planet contained a large pile of wrecked machinery, along with defective or destroyed robots. However, buried somewhere within the planet lies five strange, space helmets with an antenna on top of each. They are said to have belonged to a group of alien Bombermen, known as the "Five Dastardly Bombers." Hoping they could be of help to our plans on revenge, we departed without hesitation. If what Purple Basilisk mentioned is true, they shall make fine additions to the Red Falcon Empire without fail.
"So this definitely is the space junk planet Bagular visited one time, isn't it?" Trigger Bomber questioned.
"Yes," answered Warlock Bomber, eyeing the five helmets that belonged to the dead Dastardly Bombers. "He returned his Five Dastardly Bombers to tip-top shape long ago. And what a surprise that their helmets survived, but not their bodies. I think we know just what to do!"
Purple Basilisk grinned deviously. "We'll not only restore them, but reprogram them to serve us, the new-and-improved Red Falcon Empire! Sooner or later, Red Falcon will return to us!"
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.7
AUGUST 2, 20XX AD
0025
SNIPER BOMBER
As it turned out, the five aliens we salvaged - and resurrected - ARE the Five Dastardly Bombers, with the help of Red Falcon's DNA. I guess Purple Basilisk was in the right after all: according to our warship's data, the Five Dastardly Bombers were created by an alien entity known as Bagular. Two years ago - and three years after the Alien Wars - he sent them to conquer Cheerful White's homeworld, Planet Bomber, and do away with his existence if necessary. Unfortunately, the attempted invasion ended in failure, resulting in the Five Dastardly Bombers' deaths. One month later, Bagular stepped out of the shadows and revived the Bombers himself, in order to mount another invasion; this time, towards 5 planetoids, not far from the Bomber planet. Once again, the invasion ended in failure as Cheerful White and former rival Cool Black, joined forces as they killed the Five Dastardly Bombers again, along with Bagular himself for good. As the years went by, the Bomber planet was at peace despite Bagular's occasional returns from the dead. Now, thanks to our efforts, the Five Dastardly Bombers are whole again - no longer affiliated with Bagular, but rather Red Falcon. I'll be supervising them personally as we get things ready for another invasion on Earth...
"Yes...yeeess...YEEEESSS!" exclaimed Purple Basilisk. "Arise, Five Dastardly Bombers! Return to us!"
Axe Bomber, on the other hand, suspected something odd about one of the five fiendish Bombers. "Hey, wait a sec...isn't that her? I thought..."
"Just as I surmised," said Sniper Bomber, "there does exist an evil version of White's best friend after all."
RED FALCON LOG No. 10.312.8
AUGUST 2, 20XX AD
0100
SNIPER BOMBER
The confusions were among us, if not entirely. The "Pretty Bomber" we saw was right in front of us, alongside her other male comrades of the Five Dastardly Bombers. Last we checked, Pretty Bomber (or rather "Cute Pink", in this case) was on the Earthers' side. It turned out not a moment too soon, that there actually exists an evil version of her, whom we just revived along with Magnet Bomber, Golem Bomber, Brain Bomber, and Plasma Bomber. We even did a scan on both the good and evil versions of her with our warship's database, and the results came positive. Although both wear pink skirts and gloves (not to mention a yellow neckerchief), the Pretty Bomber on the good side is a human like Cheerful White and Cool Black are, and goes by Cute Pink. Her eye color is red; her face looks round with her helmet on; her boots are red; and most of all, she's kind-hearted, helpful, strong, and also one of 9-Volt's bodyguards along with his girlfriend, Phoebe.
Now, the Pretty Bomber we have on our side - in this case, evil - looks a little familiar, albeit a few differences that distinguish her from the goody-two-shoes Bomber-girl White and Black have on their side. Her eye color is blue; her boots are pink; and her face is square with her helmet on, despite being slightly-slanted as with the other Dastardly Bombers and all five of Purple Basilisk's Chaotic Bombers. Finally, she is evil, and knows damn well how to put on a show by relying on her charm to confuse and trap foes. This gave us an idea as we are about to mount a new invasion on Earth: we kidnap goody-two-shoes Cute Pink, and replace her with evil her, thus making all the foolish Earthers think she's their real friend turned evil! Death to Aaron, Ami, Bill, and Lance! Death to all their good friends who helped cripple our plans! Glory to the Red Falcon Empire, the Five Dastardly Bombers, and the Hate Bombers!
[End BGM]
The Red Falcon Empire immediately jumped into hyperspace from within their large warship, all the way to Earth without delay. Their plan went well for the next two or so weeks, for not even Earth's military bases could even scratch Red Falcon's army of killing machines. During their campaign to instigate a World War III, Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber turned their attention towards Diamond City on August 10, 20XX. Wario, Mona, 9-Volt, 18-Volt, Phoebe, Kat, Ana, Cheerful White, Cute Pink, Bill, Lance, Blaze Bomber, Ami, and I were visiting Pearl Square, accompanied by five of White and Pink's close friends from Planet Bomber: Cool Black (formerly White's rival), Acrobat Aqua, and even "Team Gold" themselves: Giant Gold, Bookworm Green, and Kid Blue. However, our peaceful visit was cut short when all of a sudden...
[Alert BGM: Dark Terror (Advance Wars: Dual Strike)]
"Guess who's back? The Mighty Axe King and Heavy-Duty Chopper, Axe Bomber, that's who!" The heavyset of the Hate Bombers teleported in alongside Sniper Bomber.
"You thought you got rid of all of us forever?" taunted Sniper. "Well, too bad!"
Wario chuckled, as if he were not intimidated one bit. "Coming back for more beatings, I see!"
"You alien scumbags never learn!" added Bill.
Lance joined in. "Let's do this, guys!"
"I'm with you, Bill and Lance!" Ami acknowledged. "Don't forget our training, Aaron."
"Don't worry, Ami," I said. "On this day, we swear to protect the innocent and uphold the law!" We got out our weapons to fend off the two Hate Bombers. Surprisingly, none of our strongest attacks even laid a dent...
"What?! I'm not doing any damage...?"
"Me neither! What's going on?"
Blaze Bomber stepped in front of me and Ami. "Let me try!" He unleashed a jet of flame from both his hands at the hostile attackers, only to no avail as Sniper and Axe still didn't feel anything!
"Well? Got anymore tricks up your sleeves?" Sniper Bomber snickered maliciously.
"This time, we were ready for you," boasted Axe Bomber. "We knew you'd come out fighting strong!"
Sniper Bomber aimed his gun arm directly at us. "In other words, we came prepared. Now, kiss your asses goodbye!" In just seconds, he and Axe Bomber wailed on us without mercy. While they didn't intend on killing us, they had easily succeeded in subduing us for their reinforcements to take us all prisoner.
[End BGM]
As we passed out, I could only express my grief weakly. "What...? My...my Contra Rifle has no effect...on them..."
"Same with...my bombs..." Ami croaked.
TO BE CONTINUED...
With our heroes taken prisoner, it seemed as if there was no hope this time. Only by sheer luck can they, let alone quite a few, escape alive...