That night, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend Bernadette after five hours of doing it all night.
"I have to tell you something." She said softly.
"What is it?" I asked sadly, afraid that she would break up with me.
"I am cheating on you with Leonard." She whimpered.
"OMG THAT'S FANTASTIC!" I screamed. Now, Leonard, Bernadette, and I could have threesomes without it being awkward.
"So you're not mad?" She asked.
"No, I think it's cool that you cheated on me with my boyfriend because now we can have threesomes!" I exclaimed happily. Bernadette and I started jumping up and down with excitement and then we called Leonard.
"Hello?" A woman answered the phone.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"Leonard's girlfriend, who is this?" She sneered.
"Do you wanna have a foursome with me, Bernadette, and Leonard?" I asked.
"No you sick perv! Keep your slutty hands off of my boyfriend!" She exclaimed. I gasped how dare Leonard cheat on me with someone who isn't my girlfriend and then refuse to have a foursome with us.
"What is your name?" I asked.
"Leslie Winkle, I am Rip Van Winkle's granddaughter." She said proudly as if that made her something special.
"Well Leslie, you better watch your back!" I threatened before slamming down the phone. I was so pissed that I started cutting myself with Bernadette's glasses.
The next day at school, Leonard and I ignored each other.
"I heard that Penny made it into America's Next Top Model, she will be like the youngest contestant ever." Amy said.
"That's fantastic!" I smiled, I was happy for her; Penny is so pretty and nice! My happiness was soon dashed when I saw Leonard and Leslie making out, ugh, they were more disturbing than Wil Wheaton and Howard who were having full blown sex on the table.
"I can't believe he cheated on you with that prep Leslie." Amy said shaking her head.
"I know right? What a bitch!" Bernadette yelled before throwing a knife at the kissing pair. The knife landed in Leslie's butt and she started to cry. Leonard glared at us and he and Leslie walked off to go to the hospital.
Amy, Bernadette, and I started cackling meanly, hopefully the knife would give Leslie a bad infection and she'd have to get her butt cut off!