Aside from dealing with the Five Dastardly Bombers, Trigger Bomber's presence was a dead give-away to Bill and Lance: the Chaotic Bombers were back. And what of Arctic Bomber, now that she's in jail thanks to Siren Bomber's ruse?
DISCLAIMER: Contra belongs to Konami, whereas Bomberman still remains a property of Hudson Soft as of March 1, 2012. WarioWare, on the other hand, is owned by Nintendo. Any songs "used" throughout the course of this fanfic are properties of their respective owners, along with any characters that aren't within the three franchises listed here, unless stated otherwise.
Chapter 7: A HUGE rainforest in Paris, France
Good afternoon, or evening...or wherever you fellas are, and welcome back to our special broadcast on Contra TV. I'm Tim Shirts, reporting live from the sidelines as best as I can! Over the past few weeks, things had been horrifying as hell: a large army of evil Bombermen with seemingly-impenetrable "Super Titanium" alloy on their bodies conquered some of Earth's major countries and the best cities within! But luckily, on August 28, Aaron and Ami Onuki of the Four Contras broke out of one of Magnet Bomber's death camps, and nearly gave their lives to free Diamond City of his evil reign. Thankfully, they never suffered gruesome wounds, but they had to be in medical care for the next 24 hours or so.
Therefore, Bill Rizer and Lance Bean of the Four Contras took over for Aaron and Ami, as they took off for the polluted seas of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Evil Pretty Bomber, one of the Five Dastardly Bombers besides Magnet Bomber, was behind the pollution, and almost forced us all to bow down before her as, and I quote, the "new and permanent Queen of the Seven Seas", unquote. The battle was fierce, but Bill and Lance got out alive with their friends, Cheerful White and Cool Black...thanks to a highly-trained White Wizard living in Rio de Janeiro.
As the day went by, Blaze Bomber - an honorary Contra, by the way - helped the US Army free the rest of our home country of Red Falcon's evil alien henchmen. As he said, he was proud to fight on the good side, for he felt that it suited him very well. Later, Aaron and Ami were feeling better, and ready for action. Evil aliens beware, 'cause the good Contras are back in good fighting condition! This has been Contra TV, on behalf of one of Konami's finest video game franchises ever. Good day, or good night, to all...
[Interlude BGM: Rukifellth's Theme (Bomberman 64: The Second Attack!)]
Suddenly, the broadcast ended abruptly with a smash to the monitor. It's revealed that Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber were watching the broadcast live on their TV, despite their seething hatred for us Four Contras. Axe Bomber, however, grew tired of sitting around inside the Death Falcon space station, and wanted to kill me, Ami, Bill, and Lance once and for all.
"NOW can we kill them?!" exclaimed Axe Bomber.
"Axe..." sighed Sniper Bomber.
"Don't shush me! They seem to be the only ones capable of piercing through that Super Titanium crap, which Purple Basilisk installed on us!"
"Not unless they got their hands on a Power Star, which is impossible since all of said Stars are usually in outer space. But even with that Star energy, we still have three other Dastardly Bombers supervising Purple Basilisk's Chaotic Bombers."
"Screw this. I'm warping outta here now!"
Just then, a familiar yet sinister voice rang out. "You do have a point, but I wouldn't bother killing them just yet." It was Red Falcon, whose newly-revived head was brought back in his large glass vial on tank-like tracks, now reinforced with Super Titanium alloy. Purple Basilisk accompanied him after having completed the task as told. "The last thing our empire ever need is another loss of my two loyal generals, for as long as Aaron, Ami, Bill, and Lance live, the Earthlings that don't even possess Star power have a chance at victory. But, since they got wounded earlier, it'll be a matter of time. In other words, one of those 'Five Dastardly Bombers' of ours might get lucky enough to kill them...such as Golem Bomber, I presume?"
"Yeah," replied Purple Basilisk. "It was unfortunate that Trigger Bomber - yes, I'm looking at you, Trigger - failed to obliterate Bill and Lance."
"But I didn't know they had this Star energy to shield their bodies from the explosion that big," complained Trigger Bomber, "even when I trapped them in Pretty Bomber's room back at PrettyBase!"
"And yet they somehow cheat death upon killing her. Now the Four Contras are probably already preparing to depart for Europe and Africa, so keep your ears and eyes open! Am I clear?"
"Definitely! I'll make sure to do more than just lock them up this time! Cross my spark and hope to die!"
[End BGM]
Meanwhile, down on Earth, we were flying on the CrygorCopter (with Blaze Bomber as the pilot) alongside the squad of helicopters from the US military's counter-terrorism unit, known as Delta Force. The Contra Cruiser, however, had to be kept at Crygor Labs since it would take some time to reinforce it with Star energy. Cheerful White and Cool Black, on the other hand, rode the other helicopter since ours could only carry about ten passengers aboard. We were headed towards France on behalf of reports indicating an unusually large rainforest dwelling all over its capital, Paris. Furthermore, Arctic Bomber had been recently set free hours earlier, but only on one condition: she could either go straight by helping us take out the Five Dastardly Bombers and the Red Falcon Empire, or she could go straight back to jail to serve out her sentence. For right now, she was on probation with Bill and Lance assigned as her watchdogs. On the other hand, since Blaze Bomber salvaged the "Red Falcon chips" from the evil Bombermen he destroyed to protect to US soldiers, we now had some more Star-powered gadgets to aid us. We were now close to arriving in Paris, France.
Mission 3A: The artificial rainforest of Paris, France
We suspect Mosquito Bomber is behind the sudden rapid-growth of lots of monstrous plants and stuff.
Accompanying us are the squad helicopters, each housing the soldiers of the US Army.
August 30, 20XX
4:07 AM
"It's been a while, hasn't it, Arctic?" Blaze Bomber began, through a PA speaker. "What happened?"
Arctic Bomber sighed in response. "Siren and Mosquito got me thrown in jail...and then Warlock Bomber added insult to injury by melting my entire crystal castle I worked so HARD for! And now, I wanna pay them back! My castle, my treasures, my PRIVATE two-lane bowling alley, everything...completely freakin' gone! All I did yesterday was admire my treasures, practice my bowling, and they came in there! Hey, Rizer! Gimme that Star Drink of yours! I wanna have that Star power you, your buddy, and even Aaron and Ami got!"
"Say please, Arctic," said Bill.
"D'ooh...fine. Please."
Lance nodded. "Good Bomber-girl."
Arctic Bomber took the Star Drink, opened the can itself, and gulped down its contents against Blaze Bomber's warning. "Don't gulp down more than one can at a time in 24 hours," he warned. "Penny said the side effects can be as bad as overdosing on real energy drinks."
"Ahh, pipe down, Blaze! What's the worst that can-EEEYYYOOWWCH! OW! OW! HOT! HOT! HOOTT!" She breathed out a fire, filled with Star energy; Mona giggled.
"What is this, Lava Juice?!" complained Arctic Bomber, her voice being temporarily hoarse from her mouth feeling hot.
"Not Lava Juice," I answered calmly. "Star Drink."
Ami added, "We don't mean to rub it in, but you've just tasted what only the good people can take. Evil ones, on the other hand, will only be rejected in a painful way, such as breathing fire from the Star Drink he or she ingested."
"Oh, thanks for the reminder, Miss Goody-Goody Bimbo!" The Mistress of the Cold huffed in a hissy fit. "Never have I been so humiliated in all my life...especially since that evil girl, Siren Bomber, stole MY bowling ball - the one I call the Glacier Ball!"
"Isn't it obvious as to why the Star Drink tasted so hot to you?" questioned 9-Volt. "I don't mean to brag, but what Ami's trying to say is, you're naughty."
"Naughty?! Why you little-"
Cute Pink stopped her with a stern glare. "DON'T. Touch. 9-Volt."
Arctic scoffed. "Ami junior."
"Ignore her, sweetie." said Phoebe, hugging and kissing 9-Volt affectionately.
"I know, Phoebe. You and Pink are both nicer than her."
Mona had a question in mind. "So how are we gonna get rid of Mosquito Bomber's giant, bug-infested rainforest? Fire burns insects and plants, doesn't it?"
"That works." I answered.
"The question is," wondered Ami, "can we guarantee it?"
[Suspense BGM: Deception (Final Fantasy V)]
When we veered closer to the center of the artificial rainforest, the vines opened up a path as if to invite us over. Blaze Bomber didn't like the looks of this, but decided to proceed with caution anyway. Arctic Bomber, on the other hand, didn't give a care as to whether it was a trap or not. Sooner or later, we all landed and entered the root of the problem: the Palace of Versailles. Immediately, a familiar voice called out: "9-Volt..."
"...Mom?" 9-Volt wondered.
"It's time to come home, where we won't have to worry about anymore alien invasions. I escaped the confines of a dungeon from within Mosquito Bomber's personal fortress." Then 5-Volt suddenly began singing to her son, eventually hypnotizing him into walking away from us.
I know that voice, I thought. But it's not exactly hers at all...
"Come back with me, my son..."
"Yes, mom..."
[Interrupt BGM]
[Dramatic BGM: Surprise! (Final Fantasy IV)]
"TO HELL!"
[End BGM]
[Alert BGM: The Enemy Approaches (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance)]
"I knew it!" I snapped my fingers to emphasize my sentence.
"9-Volt, snap out of it!" shouted Ami. "It's Siren Bomber!"
"It's no use snapping him out of it! He's completely under my control now! Give in, and I'll overlook what you did to Magnet and Pretty."
Bill stared daggers at Siren Bomber, disgusted at what she just did. "You've hit a new low in scumbag history, Siren."
Lance added angrily, "Brainwashing an innocent kid like 9-Volt by impersonating his mother just to get us to surrender. It's sick."
"You're a she-devil!" Mona shouted. "Even worse than Arctic Bomber!"
"You'd think I'd be crazy enough to eliminate all of you without any backup? Hmm, didn't think so. Mosquito?"
The Insectoid Queen herself flew out to face us alongside the Singing Beauty. "Nice to see you again! Siren Bomber and I invited you over as a means of testing your skills in combat against my close friends. Who would like to volunteer?"
Two of the leading soldiers in Delta Force, Sergeants Mad Dog and Scorpion, stepped forth. "No one," replied Mad Dog. "I suggest you get rid of all the unnatural trees and those nasty bugs you've been scattering all around and nearby the Palace of Versailles!"
"Because if you don't," reckoned Scorpion, with a Hispanic accent, "things are gonna get ugly."
Mosquito Bomber mockingly shook her head no. "Okay, then..." She pointed at Arctic Bomber, and continued, "I volunteer you! Couldn't stand being in jail, eh?"
"Mosquito's right," said Siren Bomber. "But taking advantage of 9-Volt's gullibility was only the beginning, just like that sad sack, Cody Travers, before him. As the only artificial representative of the long-gone Sirens, I've come to do more than just lure any unsuspecting sailor with an enchanting song to his impending doom. I'll brainwash every last male on Earth, firstly by playing on their fantasies and feelings, and then converting them into my eternal servants."
"What're you talking about?" questioned Blaze Bomber.
"Of course, my power is only restricted to my current position, but I can amplify it by ordering said servants to find all the other men, and bring them to me. Once that's accomplished, I'll personally sacrifice them as a tribute to Lord Red Falcon. In other words, those who have demonized the proud Sirens from Greek times up to this day, will they themselves be destroyed!"
[End BGM]
[Boss BGM: The Dispossessed Eidolons (Final Fantasy IV: The After Years)]
Arctic Bomber snarled. "You wish. First, you break my pride after I got kicked out, then you get me arrested for nothing, and now you intend on turning all living men, even Bill and Lance, into brain-dead zombies?! That's all I can stand, I can't stand anymore! HEE-YAAAARRRGH!"
While Bill and Lance went with Blaze Bomber, Cheerful White and Cool Black to rescue the real 5-Volt, the angry Mistress of the Cold charged forth with her flailing arms, only to get tripped over by the legs with a pair of vine whips Mosquito snagged from the unnatural trees. She got up, and threw her Bowling Bombs forth like crazy; surprisingly, the fiery blasts didn't even do much damage on Mosquito because of her Super Titanium alloy. Then the Insectoid Queen retaliated by summoning a swarm of locusts and wasps to do her dirty work, attacking Mad Dog and Scorpion's men along the way. Arctic dodged as best as she could, but she couldn't avoid losing the ball-shaped antenna off the top of her helmet from Mosquito's vine whip.
"That's IT! Nobody messes up my helmet and gets away with it!" Arctic Bomber got out her can of Star Drink, opened it up, and gulped it down. "Hey, Mosquito! Have you seen-YEEEOOOOOWWWWW! INCOMING!"
Taking advantage of the way the Star Drinks could tell the good from the bad, the Ice Princess belched out a large stream of Star-filled fire from her mouth. She ran around haphazardly whilst damaging Mosquito Bomber, eventually setting the entire palace-sized jungle ablaze. In a matter of minutes, it completely burned down, whereas Arctic stopped and panted. As for the Palace of Versailles, it remained undamaged.
"Okay...I think I could use some ice water right about now..."
Meanwhile, Siren Bomber maintained her mind control over 9-Volt, her alluring song having summoned a large crowd of brainwashed male civilians and police officers to do all the fighting for her. Phoebe and Cute Pink tried snapping him out of it, while Mona, Ami, and I made every non-lethal effort to disperse the entranced crowd.
"C'mon, 9-Volt!" shouted Phoebe. "I know you can hear us! It's Siren Bomber's enchanted song that's making you see her as your actual mother!"
"It's not working," fretted Pink. "We'll never bring him back now!"
"Maybe we still can." She quickly pulled out her enchanted Super Scope, drank a bit of Pink's Star Drink, and unloaded on Siren Bomber with her makeshift cannonballs, each resembling a different-colored, ten-pin bowling ball. The Singing Beauty was too distracted to even take notice of the Super Scope's low rate of fire, let alone move out of the way before the balls blasted her, disrupting her concentration and scorching her white dress simultaneously. In just a short period of time, 9-Volt was no longer hypnotized, the illusion of 5-Volt vanishing before his eyes.
"No, no, NO!" Siren whined. "My dress was just fixed when Master Purple Basilisk revived me!"
"Serves you right," said Phoebe. "That's what you get for taking advantage of my best friend by impersonating his mom!"
9-Volt, having come to his senses, glanced at Phoebe and Cute Pink. "Wh-where's my mom? And...oh no! I can't believe I fell for that illusion..."
"Shh, relax, 9-Volt. It's not your fault."
"But what about my mom?"
"Bill, Lance, Blaze Bomber, White, and Black are freeing her at the moment, little bro." said Mona. "Let's give Siren Bomber a taste of Nintendo Power!"
9-Volt smiled in response, and nodded. "Right!" He sipped a bit of his Star Drink, giving him the power to harm the Super Titanium-reinforced enemies for a short time. He immediately joined Phoebe in the act of performing a triple jump and stomping on Siren Bomber's head. She threw some bombs at them, which they grabbed and hurled back like baseballs, damaging her dress some more. Mona followed up by grabbing the Chaotic Bomber's legs, and perfectly imitated Wario's Spinning Piledriver for more damage.
Mosquito Bomber, on the other hand, managed to regain control by buzzing around, dodging all of Arctic Bomber's attacks and sending out a swarm of mosquitoes with her Mosquito Bombs. Then she decided it's time to stop the fight, not caring which side was winning. "We did what we came here to do, Siren! Let's go!"
"But what about the Palace of Versailles?"
"There are other fine palaces around the world, which Plasma Bomber should be able to provide for us. C'mon! We'll continue your agenda elsewhere!"
Siren Bomber sighed, and turned her attention toward us. "Fine. But don't think you've won just because you managed to humiliate me! You and your pals are gonna pay for this, Mona!"
[End BGM]
The two Chaotic Bombers retreated, while Bill, Lance, Blaze Bomber, Cheerful White, and Cool Black returned safely with 5-Volt, Yumi, Ashley, and Red. We escorted the civilians and police officers out of the Palace of Versailles, but before 9-Volt and his mother could embrace each other warmly, Blaze Bomber noticed a flaming object passing by. In just seconds, a large fiery meteor came crashing down! It blasted part of the palace, forcing us to retreat back to our helicopters. That's when we realized: Mosquito and Siren intended to hold back from utilizing their Final Smash forms, just so we wouldn't suspect the real oncoming threat until it was too late. We immediately took off and left Paris, France...
[Alert BGM: Emergency in Sector 3! (Metroid Fusion)]
Aaron! Ami!... came Penny's voice, over the radio. ...and everyone else! Can you hear me?
"Loud and clear, Penny," I acknowledged. "We've just cleared the unnatural rainforest in France and rescued more of our missing pals..."
"But suddenly," added Ami, "that giant fiery meteor came and pummeled its way onto the Palace of Versailles!"
Penny gasped. Oh no...
Blaze Bomber questioned in a concerned tone, "Where's it coming from, anyway?"
Hold on... There was a brief pause in our conversation for about 20 seconds. Afterwards, Penny spoke up again. Okay, I've managed to isolate the cause. Guys, it appears the meteors are coming from a volcanic base that happened to appear out of nowhere a couple weeks ago in Cairo, Egypt. According to a news report, it had a large, golden fireball symbol at the entrance.
Phoebe exclaimed, "That sounds like GolemBase, Golem Bomber's pyramid-like hideout in Bomberman Tournament!"
"Then it all makes sense now," suspected Bill. "The easy entry into that huge jungle, no monstrous forms to defeat, and not even a sign of Red Falcon's alien soldiers in sight!"
"Mosquito Bomber wasn't kidding when she said that she and Siren Bomber did what they came here for," said Lance.
Penny interrupted Bill and Lance with a warning: Everyone, you'd better hurry to Egypt and destroy GolemBase before it's too late! Those flaming meteors could destroy all of Africa and Europe in a matter of hours!
"What?!" panicked Mona. "Why Africa and Europe, and not just because they're not too far from Egypt compared to all the other continents in the world? That's crazy!"
I know, but it's likely a trap intended to kill you guys, meaning Red Falcon would have an easier time conquering Earth. We've got about 6 hours before all of Europe and Africa are completely incinerated. We're counting on all of you, especially the Four Contras! Penny hung up, breaking contact.
Arctic Bomber growled. "Those two bimbos used me, I mean us! If I ever find this Golem Bomber bastard, I swear I'm gonna freeze him to his soul!"
Now that the trap was sprung, we were forced to venture all the way to Africa. Since the helicopters of today fly twice as fast as non-military airliners, we would arrive at our new destination in 2 hours instead of 4. Of course, we'd have to watch out for any stray meteors coming from GolemBase in Cairo, Egypt.
[End BGM]
TO BE CONTINUED...
The battle in France was but a diversion, though Egypt thankfully isn't too far from there. The Contras and their allies, now joined by Arctic Bomber, must fly over to Africa and snuff out the source of the erratic meteors: Golem Bomber himself.