Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Sons of Anarchy.
A/N: Thank you for all the reads, reviews, follows and favorites. This story is really dear to me so it thrills me to no end that you're enjoying it as much as I am.
CHAPTER FOUR
It had been three months since she the last letter that Sarah had sent Opie, there were letters she wrote that she never sent because what she was feeling wasn't right, not by a long shot. There was no way to justify the way she felt for her very married ex, no way at all when he was married to a woman he loved with two kids that he loved. There was no place in that for her at all.
She sat at her favorite little diner, a plate of French Toast in front of her and a steaming cup of coffee just waiting to be drunk. Her head was throbbing, she was more than a little hung over. In fact she actually felt like puking at the mere sight of the food so she decided to start with the coffee.
"Excuse me?" A voice said from a table over. "May I borrow your ketchup?"
"Oh, sure." Sarah would have had to be blind to not see how handsome the man was, his eyes were a piercing shade of green and his smile made her stomach flip slowly. "Here you go."
"Thanks," he reached for the bottle, "your food looks good."
"The French Toast is the best here," she was comfortable making small talk because she did it all day long at work with customers. In fact small talk was the only real human contact she had these days.
"I'll have to try it," he set the bottle down and extended his hand to her. "My name is Jeremy."
"I'm Sarah," She took his hand with a genuine smile. It had been a long time since she'd felt a pull towards anyone, the last person had been Matt and that had been a colossal mistake.
"So Sarah, what do you say you share your French Toast with me and I'll share my eggs and bacon with you?"
"What if I'm a vegetarian and don't eat bacon?" She countered to buy herself some time because it was clear that he was flirting with her.
"I saw you eat a burger the other night," he pointed out, "I come here a lot. It'd be a lie to say that I didn't notice you."
She hadn't noticed him, she hadn't been looking. What else did she miss? "I have to admit that I didn't notice you."
"I'm not surprised, you've usually buried in a book or writing something. Are you a writer?"
"Not particularly," Sarah took a sip of her coffee. What was the harm in having breakfast with a handsome stranger? It was just breakfast after all, he was probably just lonely and maybe she was too. These days she was by herself a lot since Kozik started seeing some woman that she'd never asked to meet because she'd made that mistake before. He never got serious and had left a few broken hearts behind him. She'd gotten close to a few of them but it had always ended badly. "Are you going to join me or am I going to join you?"
"I'll join you," he transferred his plate and glass to her table quickly and sat down.
"You forgot the ketchup," Sarah pointed out with a smile.
"Maybe I should admit that I'm a little nervous, I've been trying to get the nerve up to talk to you. I might have even hid my original ketchup bottle just for an excuse to talk to you."
"Why not just say hello?"
"Figured I needed to grab your attention first," he sat back down across from her and smiled at her. "So, do you want bacon or eggs?"
"You said I get both," Sarah replied, she knew that she was blushing and somehow it didn't feel as embarrassing as it should. He was nice, seemed sweet and certainly not hard on the eyes. "I'm going to share all my French Toast."
"How about this? You can have whatever you want," he suggested, smile still firmly in place. He was charming, really charming and the truth was Sarah was really ready to be charmed.
"That's a rather broad offer, I could ask for anything," she pointed out.
"I like to live a little dangerously."
3
Opie hadn't been expected to get a visit and when he walked into the hall and saw Donna sitting there he was floored. She rose to her feet as he approached, a nervous smile on her face. "Surprise."
"Sure is," he embraced her quickly, let go of her long before he wanted to because the last thing that he needed was the guards intervening, "I can't believe that you're here."
"I realized how long it's been, it was time so I asked Piney if he'd look after the kids and Jax let me borrow his truck. The wagon needs new breaks, it would have never made it up here." Donna sat down, smoothed her hands over her lap nervously. "Wasn't sure that you'd want to see me. I've been... I've been a bitch Opie, there's no other way to say it."
"I know that this isn't easy for you and that's on me," he looked down at his hands, "I'm really glad that you're here. You look so beautiful."
"Oh stop," Donna blushed and pushed her hair back behind her ears. She was glad that he'd noticed she'd made an extra effort and it had been an effort to keep her makeup intact on the drive up because the air conditioner in Jax's truck left a lot to be desired but she was happy to be driving it. "You've gotten so much bigger than the last time. Guess you're hitting the weight room pretty hard."
"Got to do something to pass the time," he replied, "it helps the day go by faster."
"You don't have that much longer left," she pointed out, "only two years left to go and then you'll be home. That's not that long at all, it'll be over before we know it and then you'll be back home."
"That's right," Opie felt his heart race as she reached out and took his hand, "I'm going to make every day of the time up to you Donna. I promise. I love you."
"I love you too Opie, I love you so much and so do the kids. We can't lose you again."
"You won't, I swear."
"So things will be different," Donna met his eyes, "things are going to change?"
"What are you getting at Babe?" He was pretty sure that he knew but he wanted to hear her say it, hear her tell him that she was talking about the club.
"What do you think I'm getting at Opie? I'm talking about the club. You're in here because of them, because of something that they asked you to do. Your own kids don't know you because of them!"
"I love you Donna, I love the kids. You know that," he tried to choose his words carefully, he didn't want her to have come all this way just for them to fight, "and you know that I love the club too. I know what you're thinking but I made the choices that ended me up here."
"How can you still love them Op? How?" Her voice rose and one of the guards glanced over. She seemed to remember her surroundings and sucked in a deep breath. "I'm not saying that you need to cut all ties but I need you to come home and have things be different. I need a husband and our kids need a father."
"I'm going to be your husband and be a good father," he told her, "you'll see."
"I hope that I do," Donna squeezed his hand, "I brought pictures of the kids but they said that I couldn't bring them in. I didn't realize. I'll mail them."
"Tell me about them, tell me everything. Is Jax bringing you money?"
"He comes once a week, gives me an envelope." Donna confirmed. "I take it but I don't like it, I don't like it at all. I don't need charity."
"It's not charity Donna, it's the same as the money that I'd be bringing in if I were home." The only way it wasn't the same was that there was less of it, enough for her and the kids to survive but not enough for her to save the way he'd have been storing money away if he was home.
"It's..." she looked around, lowered her voice, "it's dirty money. I don't want it from them or from you. In fact, I've already talked to George over at the mill, there's a job there for you when you get out earning clean money."
Opie would rather cut his hand off with a saw than work one all day long but he couldn't tell her that. She'd made so many sacrifices that it was only fair he made some. "That sounds good Babe, really good." He said instead.
For the first time during the visit Donna relaxed visibly and they passed the rest of the time with her talking about the kids and what was going on in her life. When the guard called for the end of the visit Opie decided a kiss from his wife was worth the chance of getting in trouble. The guards looked the other way.
3
"What's this?" Jeremy asked as his hand stroked over the surface of the box on Sarah's bedside table.
She lifted her head from the pillow to see what he was talking about. "Oh, I just keep random stuff in there, keeps it neater." Sarah laid her head back down but her pulse was racing higher than it had been before. The box that Jeremy had noticed wasn't just to keep things neat, it was the box that held all of her letters from Opie as well as other important papers and things that she liked to keep safe and close.
"That's a good idea," he turned towards her, "so, having second thoughts?"
"About?" she tried to keep a straight face and failed, it was obvious what he was talking about. Six months into their relationship this was the first time that he'd stayed over and the first time that they'd been together.
"What do you think?" He smiled at her, it really was a perfect smile and he was the perfect guy. He had a job, his own place, no serious debts, didn't drink or party to excess and he was kind. He was sweet and he treated her like she was the only woman in the world.
"Hmmm..." Sarah turned to face him, "I don't know if I have enough facts to form an opinion just yet."
"Is that your way of saying that you want to go again?"
"Maybe," she teased and let out a shriek of laughter as his hands found her sides beneath the covers. He'd learned quickly how ticklish she was and would often use it to his advantage. She put up no real fight as he shifted so that he was on top of her.
"Well, let me provide you with all the facts that you need. I'd hate for you to make a rash decision." Jeremy's mouth covered hers and she gave herself fully into the kiss, fully into him.
3
"The bills are adding up Opie," Donna sighed into the phone, "and I don't know how much longer I can keep us above water."
"I'll talk to Jax, get him to give you some extra. It'll be fine."
"No, I don't want another penny of that dirty money," her tone told him that her mind was made up. She could be exceptionally stubborn when the mood struck. "I've talked to Mary, she's willing to watch the kids while I go out and get a job."
"The kids should be with you Donna, not my mother." Opie resisted the urge to bang his head into the wall just barely. "What about the day care?"
"And add on another bill? No. Mary says that she'll watch them and when she can't Piney will."
"The old man? Are you even listening to yourself? He's half in a bottle of tequila most of the time. He loves the kids but he barely had patience for me and he was a whole lot younger."
"Well these are my choices Opie and it's not like you're here to help me. Is it?" She snapped. "I'm sorry, I know that you don't get much time and I didn't want to fight with you."
Opie was pretty sure that she had known that it would cause a fight and was now backtracking to try to smooth it over. "It's only six more months Donna, six more months and then I'll be home. Let me talk to Jax, at least for the money for the daycare." He hated to ask his best friend for anything but he knew that he could and that Jax would take care of it. Most likely the money would come from the club but Donna never needed to know that.
Keeping secrets probably wasn't the best thing to do in a marriage but what choice did he have? It was what was best for the kids, they should be with other kids and not solely with his parents. "Fine, but you make sure that you tell him we're paying every penny back. I mean it Op."
"Alright Babe, every penny."
"I need to get the kids in the tub, I can't wait until you're home and we can do it together or better yet you can do it while I have a glass of wine."
"You can have a whole bottle of wine," he grinned into the phone, "especially if it goes to your head like it used to."
"Opie!"
"What? Come on Babe, can't tell me that you're not thinking about that part of me being home." He grinned into the phone, knowing that she was blushing bright red. Donna was pretty shy when it came down to it.
"Well, I may have given it a passing thought now and then," she admitted. "And that's all that I'm going to say."
"Alright, fine. Tease me," he kidded. "I love you Donna."
"I love you too Opie."
3
"SARAH!" Kozik screamed her name as she walked into the clubhouse. "It's about time!"
"You called me ten minutes ago," she shouted back and waved at Lorca who let out a loud whistle at the sight of her.
"You like four minutes away or wait, were you not home? You were with pretty boy, weren't you?"
"He has a name." Sarah replied with a roll of her eyes.
"Jeremy, fucking pretty boy name too." Kozik replied.
"If you called me to come here just to make fun of Jeremy, I'm going home." Sarah told him, it was no secret that Kozik wasn't Jeremy's biggest fan.
"Hey Cara," he flagged down one of the passing sweet butt's, "bring Sarah a drink. What do you want?"
"Vodka and Red Bull, please."
"Sure thing," the woman replied.
"Look alive Brothers, Charming will be here in two minutes."
"Charming?" Sarah looked over to Kozik.
"Oh yeah, the guys from your old stomping grounds are coming to visit," he grinned, "is that a problem?"
"No, no problem." Most of them wouldn't remember her even if Kozik reminded them, it had been a long time since she'd been in Charming. "Is that why you wanted me here?"
"I wanted you here because I missed you, it's been weeks since we hung out."
"Aw, you missed me?"
"He missed looking at your tits," Lorca let out a snort of laughter, "to be honest we all did."
Sarah wasted no time flipping him the middle finger. They may have had a few rocky moments back when she'd brought his stalker to the club house but now she considered the man her friend. In fact she considered most of them her friends. "Plenty of tits to look at around here."
"Want to see some? I can tell any of them to show 'em to you and they will," he offered with a grin.
"Thanks but maybe later."
"Don't know what you're missing, this one has great tits. Right Cara?" He patted her ass as she passed him and she grinned in response.
"If you say so Lorca," the woman set Sarah's drink down in front of her, "we only had sugar free Red Bull."
"That's the best kind. Thank you Cara." She grabbed the glass and took a gulp, if she'd had realized that Charming was coming than she would have declined Kozik's invitation even though she was sure the odds of them remembering her were slim. It was better not to take a chance.
"Welcome," the woman wandered off towards the door which was no big surprise. When other charters visited they always wanted entertainment and the sweet butts were always looking for a little bit of variety.
"So, when are you gonna bring this new guy around?" Lorca asked. "Dying to meet him."
Sarah resisted the urge to roll her eyes, the grilling that Jeremy had suffered at Kozik's hands was enough for her. She wasn't about to bring him around the rest of SAMTAC especially when he didn't get them or her friendship with them. They were, in his eyes, a group of common criminals. It was one area that they'd agreed to disagree because she had no intention of cutting them out of her life.
Thankfully the sound of bikes outside drew everyone's attention. Sarah knew her place, she followed the guys out the door but hung back as the two groups of men greeted each other. It was like being sucked back into the past as she recognized the faces. Her heart thudded in her chest as she saw Piney get off of his bike.
Damned if the old man didn't look right over at her, out of all the faces in the crowd, for a split second surprise showed on his face but then it was gone. Perhaps he hadn't really even seen her or she was just imagining things. "Shit," Sarah downed the rest of her drink and decided that she needed to head inside and get another. Behind the bar she poured a glass that was mostly vodka and downed it in four long swallows.
"Saving any for the rest of us?" The voice was all too familiar, she'd once been good friends with the owner but that had changed somewhere along the line as they got older and she'd started to date Opie.
"Hey Jax," she turned with what she hoped was a pleasant smile but she suspected it looked more like a guilty one.
"Good to see you Sarah," he replied. "Grab me a beer?" He didn't seem surprised at all to see her.
"Sure. Thought you'd still be outside catching up," she said which showed how flawed her plan of coming inside for a drink was. She should have slipped away, got in her car and gone home.
"Riding is thirsty work," he lit a cigarette and leaned against the bar, "how's Tacoma treating you?"
"Good, really good. How are things in Charming?" Sarah set a beer down on the bar for him. She'd be polite, give him whatever he wanted to drink and make small talk though she had a feeling that the topic wasn't going to be so small.
"They're good," he lifted the beer. "It's also good you stopped that shit with Opie."
"Excuse me?" Sarah decided to act like she hadn't heard him, mentally counted to ten in her head to keep from telling him to mind his own business.
"Writing to each other, talking on the phone," he clarified, "that shit wasn't good for him. No point in stirring up the past. He's got a wife and family and they mean the world to him."
"No one ever said that they didn't." Sarah poured herself another drink. It was clear that the conversation was about to turn less than civil and she wanted to avoid that. No matter what her standing was at the club house it wouldn't do a damn thing for her if she got into it with the mother charter's Vice President.
Thankfully the doors opened and people began to pour in, it didn't take long before someone called out to Jax and he walked away from the bar. It was Sarah's intention to slip out from behind the bar and leave but as everyone began to pour into the bar they started to place orders. Without a prospect in sight she sighed and began to fill the orders, at least it gave her something to do with herself.
Inside she was furious, fuming that Jax would butt his pointy little beard into something that was private between her and Opie. They'd done nothing wrong, even if they were still writing to one another and having conversations it wouldn't be hurting anyone except maybe for her.
"I'll be damned," Piney sat down, his oxygen container made a clanging sound as he placed it on the bar, "that you Girlie?" He squinted through the haze of smoke.
Sarah was tempted not to respond but she couldn't bring herself to do anything but smile at the man who had been one of her favorite people when she was a teenager. She'd often wished that her parents were more like him. "Hey," she replied, "let me guess, tequila?"
"You always were a smart one," he replied, "just make it easy on yourself, bring me the bottle and a straw. You stay away from it though, took me damn near a week to get all the puke off my boots the last time I remember you getting into a bottle."
"I was seventeen Mr. Winston," she reminded him as she felt her face flush. That had actually been the very last time she'd drank tequila because the hangover that followed had nearly killed her.
"Don't start that Mr. Winston shit," he advised as he looked around the bar, "you call me Piney like you always did."
Sarah was suddenly reminded of the few times she'd slipped and called him Pop just the way that Opie always had. "Sorry Piney," she shook away the memory. "How's it going?"
"Just dandy," he patted the oxygen tank, "the world is my god damn oyster." Piney studied her, his expression making the resemblance between him and his son all the more obvious. "Unlike my son," his eyes narrowed, "he's not doing so good."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Are you?" He questioned. "Heard that the two of you stopped writing."
"You going to tell me it's good we stopped?" She really hoped that he wasn't because she could handle Jax being all broody and disapproving but she wouldn't feel as accepting if Piney felt the same way.
"You think it's good?" Piney let out a snort of laughter at her expression. "Don't ever play poker Girlie, you'll lose your shirt."
"I'll keep that in mind," Sarah wiped her hands on a dish towel, "I really should get going but it was nice to see you."
"Yeah, yeah."
Sarah leaned over the bar and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The good thing about Piney was that he didn't require much conversation, this was probably one of their longer ones. She slipped from behind the bar without another word. Kozik was in the middle of talking to Jax so she didn't bother saying goodbye.