Disclaimer: I do not own the Sons of Anarchy.
A/N: Again, big thanks to everyone who has read this. I really love this story and while the updates are slower than I've done in the past rest assured they'll keep coming. Special thanks go to LaughingWarrior and R3-1 M4Y3R for all of their support with this story.
CHAPTER FIVE
"Happy Birthday Sarah," Kozik grabbed her in a hug and lifted her off of the ground. "Holy shit, pretty boy pulled out all the stops, didn't he?" He looked around the banquet room of the hotel, all decorated for her thirtieth birthday.
"He's got a name Koz," she pointed out though she knew that he knew it very well. Jeremy was a really nice guy, she'd been seeing him for nearly a year and a half. "I'm surprised that you came." She smoothed her dress with her hand as he set her down.
"Wouldn't have missed your fancy ass party," Kozik looked around the room once more, it was nice but it wasn't exactly Sarah. "So, do I give you your present now?"
"You didn't have to get me anything," she told him, "but I think that we're doing presents later." Sarah took a good look at him and knew that he wasn't going to stay. The truth was she was surprised that he'd even shown up because this most certainly wasn't his scene. "You're just doing a drop in, aren't you?"
"Yeah," he admitted, "but it's not what you're thinking. I'm riding out, heading to Charming actually." A smile crossed his face. "Aren't you going to ask me why?"
"You weren't just going to tell me even if I didn't ask?" she teased, Kozik liked to talk and knew that he could always talk to her. He probably told her some things that he shouldn't have over the years but his secrets were safe with her.
"Yeah, probably," he slung his arm over her shoulder and guided her away from the crowd, "maybe I shouldn't tell you why but I think that you'd want to know."
"What's going on Herman?"
"Opie's out, they're having a welcome home thing for him and I thought that I should show my face." Kozik rubbed his hand over her arm.
"It's good that he's home, I'm glad," Sarah smiled, she was glad. It would be a lie to say that she hadn't measured the passing of time, she had. "Tell him..." she stopped herself, "no, don't tell him anything from me."
"You ready for your present?" Kozik saw the way that her expression changed, he didn't even think that she realized it.
"There you are Honey," Jeremy walked over to them with a smile. He was a good looking, seriously clean cut guy who looked perfectly comfortable in his suit even though Sarah had insisted that the party would be casual, "Hello Kozik."
"Jeremy," Kozik smiled at him, "I was just stealing your girl away so I could give her a present before I had to take off." He kept his arm around her shoulder as he spoke, partially because he knew that it annoyed Jeremy and the other part because he could see that what he'd told her had bothered her, not that she was going to admit it.
"It is her day," Jeremy reached out and stroked his hand over the side of her face, "when you're done here there are some other people who'd like to say hello."
"I'll be over there in a minute," Sarah told him.
"He's really got a stick up his ass sometimes, huh?" Kozik grinned and reached into the inside pocket of his cut. "Well, I'm not good at wrapping shit so I didn't bother."
"You going to propose to me or something?" The box was clearly one that contained jewelry and she took it with shaky hands.
"You wish, I know how long you've been trying to get at me," Kozik watched as she carefully opened the box. "If you don't like it..."
"I love it," Sarah laughed and slid the skull ring onto the middle finger of her right hand. "It's kind of like yours."
"Little more girlie than mine," he smirked. She'd always liked his rings, even when she was just a kid in Charming, "if you throw any punches with that thing you're going to break someone's jaw, just remember..."
"Don't tuck my pinky in, I know. Jesus, that was one time and I was like seventeen," Sarah protested, "and that bitch shouldn't have pushed up on Opie in front of me."
"Didn't mean to bring up any memories with the ring Sar, I just..."
Sarah shook her head, leaned in and pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love it Kozik and I love you. You are my best friend."
"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself," he said with a wink. "Go on, get to your party. I've got to get on the road, it's a long fucking ride to Charming."
3
Sarah laughed as Jeremy twirled her around the dance floor. She was quite properly drunk, feeling great and having the time of her life. The DJ was playing a song she didn't know but that didn't matter. She'd been worried about turning thirty, it turned out that it didn't really matter. Being thirty felt great, she was doing really well for herself with a decent job and a nice apartment. She even had a really great guy in front of her.
Jeremy pulled her close, spoke in her ear. "Let's get out of here, I've got somewhere that I want to take you."
"Oh?" She smiled at him. "What are you taking me there for?"
"You'll see," he took her hand to tug her towards the door, "I promise that you'll like it, I think you'll even love it."
"Well, if it's what I think it is I do love it," Sarah playfully slid her hand over his stomach, "and I hope that we don't have to go far."
"We're in public Sarah," Jeremy grabbed her hand and pulled it away, "people can see us."
Sarah bit back a sigh, Jeremy was a really nice guy. Sometimes she wondered if he was too nice a guy, especially when he got all prim and proper with her like he was doing now. He never really just let loose with her and she'd tried to get him to do so. "I need to use the facilities before we go," she took her hands out of his, "I'll just be a minute."
"Hurry back," he closed the distance between them and kissed her. She returned the kiss but he kept it light, no matter what she tried because of the people around.
In the bathroom Sarah leaned back against the wall, shut her eyes. "Get a fucking grip," she ordered herself. Now was not the time to start doubting her relationship with Jeremy. He treated her like gold, they were always going out and doing things. It was fun and nice and all the things that she should want for herself, there was no reason to think differently just because Kozik had brought up Opie.
He was the past, she had to leave him there because there was no place in his life for her, he had his family and a wife that he loved and she was glad for that. Glad that he'd be happy. Hell, he probably never even thought about her any more anymore even if she still thought about him more than she'd like.
3
Opie hadn't expected so many people to show up for him, he was a little in awe and Donna was a little pissed. Actually she was a lot pissed that they were spending the first night they had a babysitter at the club house, she stood stiffly next to him. "You want a drink?"
"No," she crossed her arms over her chest, "I'm not thirsty."
He wanted to tell her to relax, lighten up and have some fun like they used to but that would just start the fight that was already brewing between them. It had been building since the first night he'd gotten home when they'd finally been alone. Hell, icy was a kind description of the mood between them. "You want something to eat?"
"I'm not hungry either Opie. I want to go home, now. We talked about this, about more time for us and our family and this isn't what I had in mind."
"We can't just leave Babe, these guys came a long way. It would be rude. Let's just have a little fun, a few drinks and then we can head home to our nice empty house just the two of us." Opie draped his arm around her shoulder, pulled her closer to him. "The two of us, all alone for the first time in five years? That sounds like a good night."
"We'll see what happens when we get home," Donna shifted out from under his arm, "I'm going to use the ladies room."
Opie sighed when she walked away, took a long sip from his beer. It was going to be another icy night, he could just tell. Donna saying will see was basically her saying no. Fuck, he didn't know how to get through to her.
"Hey Brother," Kozik came over with a grin, "good to see you not wearing orange."
"Good to see you too," Opie embraced Kozik briefly, "I can't believe that you guys came down."
"We needed to celebrate, right? Fuck, it is good to see you."
"How's everything?" Opie took another sip of his beer. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask how Sarah was, he didn't even know where the thought of her had come from. He hadn't thought of her in months except for when he'd carefully hidden the pictures that she'd sent him so they wouldn't be found. He just couldn't throw them in the garbage, it wasn't right.
"Good, real good," Kozik told him, "been quiet up in Tacoma, it's nice. How's everything with you?"
"Great, really fucking great," Opie finished his beer, "never better."
"No place like home, right? Five years is a long time to be inside, can fuck with your head unless you're careful. Shit, I was going crazy when I had to do three. The fucking noise never stopped."
"Yup," Opie nodded his head in agreement, he'd eventually been able to drown out the sound some but he'd always heard it on some level. "It's really fucking great to be home. You said it's quiet in Tacoma, that's good."
"Yeah, just some easy runs and lots of down time," Kozik chuckled, "been seeing this one woman for a while so the down time works for me."
"Always a horn dog, some things never change."
"Sarah said that to me just last week, she's doing good in case you were wondering. It was her birthday yesterday," Kozik motioned for a passing crow eater to bring them two beers, "can't believe that she's thirty."
Opie hadn't even realized it was her birthday. "So the two of you made up?"
"Made up?" Kozik frowned and then laughed, "the Lorca fiasco? I was never really mad, she didn't know that bitch was stalking Lorca. It blew over pretty quick. Not that she ever spent much time at the club house anyway, she was more content to sit at home with that damn stationary writing to you."
Opie didn't reply as the crow eater brought over their beers. He watched Kozik flirt with her briefly, the Tacoma SAA was always a hit with the ladies. The woman left with a promise to find Kozik later. "Can't help yourself, can you?"
"Apparently not," Kozik lifted his beer to Opie, "really good to see you home with your beautiful wife Brother. Hey Donna."
"Hi Kozik," Donna stopped next to Opie, "I'm not feeling so great, I'm just going to head home. You should stay, catch up with everyone."
"Give me ten minutes and then we'll go Babe."
"I'm really not feeling so good, I'll just see you at home." Donna didn't wait for a response, just moved through the crowd without looking back at her husband.
Kozik didn't know what to say, who would? He took another sip of his beer and looked around the room.
"I should go and..." Opie trailed off, shook his head, "fuck, I don't know what I should go and do."
"Probably isn't the best time for me to say this but shit, I've never been known for being tactful," Kozik finished his beer, "it really fucked her up in the head the way that she started to feel for you. She was like a zombie for months after, I'd find her just sitting around the house like her dog died. I didn't think that I was going to get her back."
Get her back? Opie glared at Kozik, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? How did he get her back. "She the woman you've been fucking?"
"No Man, that's not it but if it was you'd have no room to be pissed," he pointed out. Opie's reaction told him that clearly Sarah wasn't the only one who'd been affected by the correspondence. Kozik had hoped it was one sided, he'd wanted to mention her to Opie and see no real emotion but the man was about as angry as he'd ever seen him at the idea he was fucking Sarah.
"Didn't say I was pissed," Opie replied.
"Nah, you didn't have to. You look like you're about to knock my head off my shoulders. All that I was trying to tell you is you've chosen what life you want, let her have hers without getting all twisted up over you again. Looks like you don't need to be twisted up over her again either, you've got enough on your plate right now."
Opie just nodded, Kozik hadn't been far off on his guess that he wanted to knock his head off. Just the mere idea that he'd slept with Sarah was enough to make Opie's blood boil. "You staying around a while?"
"Few days, long enough to piss Tig off," Kozik said with a laugh, "go take care of your Old Lady, I'll see you later."
3
"Jer, what are we doing here?" She frowned as he came around the car to help her out. As he'd drove she'd realized their destination but for the life of her she couldn't understand exactly what they were doing at the Tacoma docks.
"We had our first date here, remember?" He took her hand and squeezed, a smile very much like the one he'd worn the first day they'd met on his face.
"Of course I remember," a tight feeling took over Sarah's stomach as suddenly she realized exactly why he'd brought her here. She'd had a few moments like this in her life when she knew for certain what was going to happen. No, she didn't think she was psychic she just had a keep sense of observation and was able to piece together things quickly, "Jer, why are we here?"
"Walk with me," he took her hand and began to lead her towards the water. She stumbled several times on her heels but he always made sure that she didn't fall. "Come on and sit."
Sarah sat because honestly it was too much effort to walk any longer, her legs were starting to ache from too much dancing and her feet were already hating her shoes which were fashionable but killer to be in all night. "Jeremy, I..."
"Wait, let me talk first," he sat down next to her, "I'm not sure how to say this so I'm just going to say it. I love you, I think I fell in love with you the first time we went out, when we came here and ate awful take out while watching the boats come in and out."
She remembered the date, it had been average for her. In fact she'd nearly not seen him again but he'd been sweet and she'd relented because it wasn't as if she had anything else to do with her time. The second date had been better, almost perfect with a night out starting with dinner and drinks and ending with them seeing an amazing indie band at some hole in the wall bar.
"It was the best date that I'd ever had and each once since has just been better and better. I look at you and I know that you're the one for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Sarah," he shifted from sitting next to her and dropped down on one knee, from his pocket he withdrew a small black velvet box, "and there is nothing in the world that would make me happier than if you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me. Will you marry me Sarah?"
Sarah stared at the ring, at him and then back down again. Jeremy was a great guy and she did love him but she wasn't sure that she loved him enough to make the commitment that he was asking her for. "Jer, I love you. I do but I..."
"I know what you're going to say," he took her hands in his, "you're not sure that what you feel for me is strong enough to last and I know why."
"You do?" That was a surprise to Sarah, Jeremy was a lot of things but he wasn't exactly perceptive.
"I know that you were involved with someone before me, I know that he hurt you somehow and I'm sorry for that explained a lot of things, including why you said the name Opie in your sleep. For a while there I thought that you had some sort of old television fetish going on. I can't imagine how hard it was for you to decide to move on from him, I'm so proud that you could. I know that you loved him, I know that you still might but if it's really over with the two of you can you just really consider being with me? Marrying me?"
"It's over with him. It's been over for a very long time," Sarah told him and the words caused her stomach to roll and twist tightly. She might just throw up if she wasn't careful. "I'm just not sure that it's fair to you too take this ring and..."
"I want you to take it, you don't have to say yes right now. I don't want you to say yes right now, I want you to take time and think about it. And I'll even be able to give you some space to do that. I just want you to think about it, to wear this and think about it. Think about us and how great we'll be together."
She should have refused, she knew that she should have refused but he had such a hopeful expression on his face. He had a point they could be good together, they were good together now. She just wasn't certain that it was the right move for either of them. He rubbed his fingers over hers and she looked down at the ring. It was lovely, truly lovely if just a little bit too large for her taste.
"I'll think about it," she said finally even though her gut was telling her it was the wrong thing to do.
"That's all that I can ask," Jeremy was still kneeling in front of her and she met his lips when he shifted up, "I love you Sarah, so very much."
3
Opie was glad that he'd sprung for a couch large enough for him to be comfortable on. He'd arrived home fifteen minutes after Donna left because he'd been held up by Jax coming over to talk to him and he'd found her already in their bedroom with the door locked. No amount of talking on his part had convinced her to come out, even when he'd finally got her to talk to him.
They'd talked for almost an hour, she was hurt that he'd chosen to go to the party at the club house even if he'd brought her with him. Her bottom line was really clear and what he'd feared all the nights he lay awake in his cell. She wanted him to find a way out of the Sons. If it meant leaving Charming, they would leave Charming and find another place to make their lives.
The worst part was that she'd used Kyle Fucking Hobart as her example, he'd left the club and gotten out to have a new life. If Kyle could do it, why couldn't he?
Opie had wanted to rage at her that Kyle had gotten out of the club because he'd been a coward and the sole reason why he'd just spent five years of his life wasting away in a cell but he didn't. He couldn't. It was club business and he'd made the decision to keep Donna and club business as separate as possible because he knew that she would never be able to handle it.
He sighed, shifted to try and get more comfortable. Sarah had been at the back of his mind since he'd seen Kozik and now he let her move to the front. He could picture her face, smell her hair and those were the images in his mind as he was finally able to fall asleep.