Ritual

Part 2

Chapter 4

….

Winnie wiped the plates clean in the sink…placing them in the plate rack. So many years here. Looking out for this family. Hoping her words of wisdom could help. But they did not. She took off her gloves as she saw the blonde woman sit at the kitchen table. The worry lines on her face. Her thin lips folded…her hands laced together as her mind drifted off to another place. And then….silence became the loudest noise. And every mistake made flashed before her eyes.

Sitting down beside her, the grey woman waited for her employer to say something. Anything. She hoped the woman would take a hint about Katie….her dear Katie. No the woman didn't need to take a hint. This was not a game…or a guess. This was about a beautiful, smart girl who was so underappreciated till it hurt her. The sacrificial lamb of all the mother's constant distractions. No she wasn't her child, but blood couldn't make her closer to her. It couldn't make her heart grip any less. The day she found her. Laying in her own blood. So cold. Not dead…yet not alive. Her eyes glazed….Flashbacks from that day plagued her mind…..

The woman shook her head as she heard the loud noise blare from Katie's room. The usual. How could anyone study with such racket? And be on honor roll for that matter. Even the vacuum couldn't drown it out. Finishing her work, she checked the mailbox.

She found it odd how she loved being outside as compared to being inside the Matlin home. It was cold. Lonely. Dead. No hugs. Or kisses. The only chatter that could be heard was Gwen on the phone talking to an "client." She knew the girl could sense it too. Which was why she drowned herself in sports. No one wanted to be reminded of loneliness.

Smiling at the manila envelope, she ran back to the house. The day she had been waiting for. It was the day she hoped the teen would allow her to be happy for herself.

"Katie!" The woman screamed. Rushing through the halls.

"Katie!" The woman screamed again. That was odd. The girl always came immediately. And the volume from her music never stopped her from before. Maybe she was in the restroom.

"Katie…its here." The woman paused again as she knocked on the door. No response. Walking to her room, her excitement couldn't be contained.

"Katie your scholar….." her words stopped as she saw the girl laying lifelessly on the bed.

Blood on the bed sheets.

Her flesh pale.

The horizontal slits on her wrist.

Only her heart could be heard and the package falling on the floor as she rushed to the girl's bed. Hoping it wasn't too late. Why didn't she see this coming? Why couldn't she have reached out to her better? Why couldn't her mother be here instead of her.

"Katie…wake up!" The woman put her ear on her heart. Hearing a light heartbeat. Not caring about the blood on her hands. Feeling her cold skin as she prayed.

And God must have heard her as the girl opened her eyes with little strength.

"…win….nie…" The desperate girl whispered. "I….i…."

"Don't talk." The grey woman grabbed the house phone by the teen's bed without pause.

"Hang on baby…." The woman pleaded with the dispatcher. Hoping she could be understood through her panic.

Gwen looked at the woman. Afraid to speak. Knowing the woman was accusing her with her eyes. She had too much on her schedule. But nothing should be more important than her daughter. And yet it always seemed opposite. Work. Work. Work…..

"Go on say it." The blonde said blandly. Waiting for disapproval.

"You already know the truth. What's the point?" The maid handed her some coffee. Even though she wanted to throw it on. She would even throw it on herself if it meant the girl could be at peace.

"I just didn't think it was to that much extent….I just….." the mother exclaimed seeing the woman stand up….determination in eyes…..

"And yet you haven't apologized to her. You should be grateful the girl didn't make vertical slits…..she's a smart girl. She didn't mean to kill herself. She wants you to notice her…not….." The older woman said softly. "Parent day is coming up soon…and I am sure it would mean the world to her if you showed up. All that matters is that you start again…" The woman tried to comfort the blonde. The woman did love her child even if she didn't know how to show it.

"Katie has always been strong. Independent. She seemed as if she never needed me….and I didn't prove her wrong." The woman heard her phone ring as she looked at the text message.

Winnie rolled her eyes at the woman who never learned. She knew who it was calling. It wasn't an office. At least not this time.

"When are you gong to tell her?" The maid inquired.

"About what?" Gwen knew the woman saw through her lie.

"About the new man in your life? How long will this one last?" The woman began to clean to keep herself from strangling the woman.

"Winnie don't start." The mother chastised.

"I have been working for you and your family for 20 years. I know you in and out. Business trips…romantic trips….none of them involve Katie…and I did my best to protect her from all of them…."

"I don't bring men around my daughter…." The blonde stood by her at the sink. "Stop cleaning dishes damn…..talk to me.!"

"well congrats for doing one thing right with you daughter….and you should tell Katie to talk to you…I'm done with this conversation." The maid dried her hands as she continued to clean the house.

…..

Mike looked at the paper in front of him. The chicken scratch urked his nerves. Crumpling the paper in hands, he threw it away. He didn't have to read it to know what it said. He still heard his father's voice in his head. It wouldn't go away. The man who thought he was a fighter. Who that he was a menace. And he was, but trouble always came to him. How could he blame him for not running away from it? Real men handled their business…..

Mike looked at his friend in the alley. His best friend Jordan. The boy who taught him how to play video games. How to shoot a basket. Every moment he had, the boy was there. Which was why he couldn't leave his friend who was laying on the ground. His nose bloody. His white wife beater stained. His knuckled bruised and busted.

Placing his hands through his hair, Dallas didn't think his friend was involved to this severity. He would stick with him no matter what…but... But this was just supposed to be fun. Sitting his friend up, he was glad to hear his groans of pain. At least the boy was alive. But a bottle of pills that fell out of his friend's pocket…

"Dude….are you serious? What are you doing with these?" Dallas panicked as he threw them against the ground. This had gotten them in enough trouble. Its not as if he could just run home and hide underneath the covers.

"I was thinking about adding to my revenue" The dark skinned boy laughed cynically as he coughed. "They look convincing don't they?" he found strength to smirk.

"Jordan…where did you learn to make these?" The light skinned boy inquired.

"From around…." Jordan's hoarse voice still had strength. Looking him in the eye.

"Who did this to you? How?" The best friend looked around the area with his eyes.

"A crack head with a habit." He simply said. "I wasn't quick enough." His friend coughed.

"Why not? You taught me how to fight…." Dallas read through his lie. "High again?" he knew his friend.

"…and what are you my father now. What would yours do if he found you here…with me….again…."

"I have always stuck by your side." Dallas adamantly stated.

"Then do it now….help me up….." Dallas placed his arm around the boy's waist.

"Let's get you to the hospital…" Dallas grabbed his phone. Damn. His father was right. But he couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing that. He was in over his head. They both were.

Luke laughed seeing the boy read their letters. He was the smart one. He wouldn't open his. Placing it on his nightstand, he walked to the trashcan throwing away his banana peel.

"Someone has issues." His comment made Mike ignore him more.

Laying on his bed, Mike wasn't good with writing. Expressing his feelings. He was better with numbers. And he hated how Jordan thought he left him. But deep down he was just conflicted. He didn't want to change, but he knew he had to if he wanted to live. But he believed in loyalty. His family didn't understand. And it seemed as if his logic was becoming more twisted. There was something about this place that made he want to run away from…

"Adam where have you been?" Luke asked the boy as he casually walked in.

"Had….a…phone call." Adam laid on his bed.

"Aww….mommy how I miss you." The obnoxious boy teased.

"Lay off." Mike wished he hadn't burned his last bridge with his parents.

…

Katie couldn't believe that counseling started tomorrow. To tell the story of how she began cutting. She didn't even remember anymore. It was like an addiction. It was her addiction. An addiction that she used to hide because she didn't want to admit the truth to herself. She wasn't worth having. Sitting on the floor, she didn't know why she couldn't go to sleep. She did a great thing today. She conquered her fear and was able to repel. But she was still restless.

Laying on the floor, she was glad to know Marisol was breathing evenly now. But Bianca stayed mumbling.

"No…stop." Bianca ran from the car that was following her in the alley.

"Bianca…." The tomboy shook her.

"No..no…I don't want to go….don't make me." The rebel saw the man get out the dark SUV. Windows tinted….she held herself as she made it to a dead end.

"Bianca…" The prissy girl shook harder. Hoping to wake her from her prison.

"no….." The girl sat up. Wiping her sweat from her forehead. Seeing the beautiful girl once again save her from herself. The two looking in each other's eyes. Both blushing at their faces so near.

"Ummmm…you were having a nightmare." The gorgeous tomboy stated.

"Umm yeah that's what happens when someone suffers something traumatic." Her defense mechanism charged again.

"I thought we were over this." Katie began as she sat down on the girl's bed. "I thought we were all in this together….friends…."

"Katie…your mood swings are so amusing to me... you pushed me back today…when someone does that, that means they don't want to talk….." Bianca knew she sounded weak.

"I know…I know….and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. It's just that…."the girl began as she saw Bianca look at her.

"Let me guess it finally dawned on you that you are surrounded by psychotic freaks…..and you yourself are one of them."

"Why do you have to be so blunt all the time?" Katie attempted to get off the bed as the other pulled her by the wrist.

"O come on Katie…you still have the life…" the two girls laid by each other.

"Because I have a maid…and a nice house….."

"no because you have someone who cares. Someone who thought enough about you to write you a letter from home. If you haven't noticed I don't have that. No one cares about me. My mom…I might as well say I am an orphan." Bianca admitted.

"I know the feeling. I honestly wouldn't know my mom if I didn't have pictures of her around the home. Its crazy when you have to find out things about her from her office clerks….Winnie tries to protect me…but I'm older now…" The two looked at each other.

"Where have you been Matlin?" Bianca looked at the red head. "I mean….you seem to be the only one who puts up with my shit. And who isn't scared of touching me. When I go in the bathroom. The other girls just look as if I give off STDs by just looking at them?"

"Umm….have you ever…." The red head began…..

"No…my pimp Ben made sure of that. "

"Your pimp…."Katie asked. "How did you escape him." She became fascinated at the girl.

"By default….he was killed….two bullets in the head….he owed money….he had been well overdue…..I have to thank whoever did that." She realized the morbidness of her comment. "You can go back to bed now."

"You're doing it again…pushing me away….is it so bad to have a friend?" the two girls looked at one another.

"Friends don't do this. Talk about traumatic experiences….scars, anorexia, rapes…." The two stared at Mare as she slept. Her occasional mumbles. They were used to it now.

"Those who trust each other do." The sporty girl rubbed her arms. "Maybe its for the best…I mean…" she looked into the girl's dark eyes.

"Katie…go to bed…I don't want to hear your Mr. Rogers philosophies." Bianca smiled as the girl with blue eyes bit her lip. The two laughed as Katie hit her with a pillow.

…..

Mike grabbed the paper from the basket. Placing it underneath his pillow, he made sure the others were sleeping. He didn't want them to see him like this. He felt weak. So many emotions in his mind. And the tears in his eyes. The façade he wore. He didn't want people to see how scared he was. Of life. He was scared for his life. The things he put his family through. And how it broke his heart every time. But it was something about his life that he couldn't let go.

The power. The confidence. The girls.

People wanted to be him. To be around him. But if they knew his secret, they wouldn't.

…

Mare woke in a cold sweat. Shaking back and forth on her bed, she was grateful the girls were sleep. And she was so lost, she didn't even notice they were in the same bed together. Breathing harder, she stood up as she put her shoes on. Biting her lip, she walked out the door. She was asking for a death wish….especially from her mother who she knew would kill her if she was caught. But she had to shake this feeling. She would never touch pills again….or drugs for that matter. This was a living hell. And the fact that she still had her robe on as she walked through the grass made her realize how wigged out she was.

Apparently, they didn't have too many watchers out tonight. And she was thankful. Sitting behind her cabin, it surprised her to see Mike outside too. Both noticing, they didn't know what to say. But both didn't want to be alone right now.

Holding her robe tighter around her, she looked to see Mike sit beside her.

"Sneaking out Miss Priss." He observed her tremors. She was definitely taking this like a trooper.

"More like…not wanting to embarrass myself with my withdrawals." Her hands shook.

"Yeah…it gets like that." He remembered Jordan's symptoms. Yet that couldn't be taken into account considering that the boy always went back to it.

"don't…." She felt his eyes on her.

"don't what?" He observed her.

"Don't give me any special treatment. I am the first one to know that people don't care about your problems or your ambitions. At least your snarky remarks remind me of that." She looked at the grass. The ant beds that were around the trees.

"So in other words you like being talked down too." He analyzed. "It's not like you don't talk down to me either." He observed the night sky.

"I know….I'm just…so tired of people overlooking my true potential. And I did it the right way…and I did it the wrong way…..and I am still not where I want to be…." She was frustrated with herself.

"And why do you want to be famous? Dealing with eating disorders? Sleeping with agents to land a gig?" He wanted to find out more about her.

"For a thug…..How are you so intuitive?" She teased. She knew there was more to him than he let on.

"I'm not dumb. I just…..never mind…" Mike kept his eyes on the stars.

"I'm just so cold right now….and I want to throw up so badly." Mare held herself tighter. "I wish I could be like you. Turn off my emotions…." She observed.

"How did you know that?"

"I was just making an observation. But I think about my mom…how I lied to them so badly. How I disappointed them. How I am not worthy of being their daughter. How I am not worthy of being a model…how I mess up everything I touch…and I hate myself for it." She hugged her legs to herself as she stood up slowly.

"You have too much compassion." He looked up at her soft face. "I use to be like that….but after a while people's opinions don't phase you anymore." He pulled some grass from it's roots. "I guess I use to regret my decisions but now it's too late. People at home only see me one way….why not prove them right."

"that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard." She looked at the boy with anger as his stoic face didn't show his shock. Even with her symptoms, she had the strength to express herself.

He only responded with a huff as she found herself growing angrier.

"You are the most ungrateful person I know..." She watched him stand.

"You forgot about Luke." His humor made her frustrated to his liking.

"Even Bianca wants to change…and yet you push every one away with your sarcasm and smart comments. How can you be so happy and content not wanting more for yourself. Not wanting to better yourself….taking from others who worked so hard for what they have…"

"well aren't we Ms. Congeniality?"

"spell it…" She folded her arms as she began to feel a little dizzy.

"Whatever…you are still pretentious. After how I helped you out….."

"O so that means I am supposed to tolerate your cocky attitude. Hell no. I have taken criticism from almost everyone in life…the token black girl….the oreo….the stuck-up snob…and I will not be looked down by a …criminal…"

"Well, well, well…the real Marisol comes out. I knew that helpless little girl was an act. See what I mean….."

"but I don't want to see you like that Mike….." Mare stated firmly. "You are the one who wants others to see you like that…why?"

"None of your business." He stood up noticing the letter fall out his pocket.

….

Bianca looked at the clock on her nightstand. 12:45 in the morning. And this was her second time waking up in the middle of the "night." But this time was different. This time she was surprised she could not remember her dreams. Or that she felt comfortable sharing a bed with someone else. Her back to the girl, she felt herself blush seeing Katie's arm was around her waist.

And for once in her life….she was speechless.

…

Luke turned on his lamp, as he grabbed the envelop .It was on his mind, and he wanted to read it so badly. But he wouldn't get his hopes up over his father. And he didn't want to hear his sister's voice in his head. Looking at her handwriting, he was glad the girl wasn't tortured by their father's wrath. She was the perfect child and she was the only one he spared from his own obnoxiousness. The many times she healed his cuts from their fights. Or sing him to sleep. Opening the letter, he heard the quiet boy mumbled.

"O God…it's one in the morning." Adam sat up as he looked at the other. "Could you turn the light off?"

"No…I cant…I'm a little busy." The teen looked at the envelope as he gathered enough will.

"No you're an asshole." The brunette teen attempted to get comfortable again.

Placing the letter on his nightstand, the dirty blond got out the bed. Did he just hear the other right? He wouldn't let anyone talk to him like his father.

"What did you say?" He approached the boy's bed.

"You heard me…" Adam sat up looking at the boy attempt to threaten him. He dealt with bullies all his life. And never backed down. He wouldn't start now. Even without his mother.

"Say it a little bit louder." Luke challenged as the other laid back down on the bed. He wasn't worth it.

"You heard me the first time. Maybe if you put your energy in conquering your anger problems you wouldn't be so hostile."

"Don't think just because Mike isn't in here to intervene that doesn't mean….."

"I don't need Mike to take up for me. I can do it myself. You think just because I am not in your face I'm scared….but I'm not." Adam grabbed his pillow as he put it over his face…trying to block out the boy's voice.

"You just aren't worth it….I pick and choose mine…and right now I could give two less shits about you. Go away….." Luke shook his head as he got back in his bed. He didn't want to be here anyway. He didn't know where he wanted to be, because no where was good enough.

…

Mare saw the boy quickly grab the letter as he stuffed it in his pocket. And though his face was still, his eyes weren't….and they seemed panicked for some reason. Nothing new. Problems at home. Just like hers….

"Let me guess. You haven't been able to open up your first letter yet. You were so angry you bald it up." The boy began to think the girl was psychic. But then again, they were all the same here. They acted out the same way. And there was no way to avoid it.

"My parents had to move out their house…into an apartment….I guess expenses for me are just too much." She pressed her head against the cabin. "I forgot the other main reason I went into modeling was to help my parents with the expenses."

"I'm….." The boy began as he heard someone come from around the corner. The light from the lantern could be seen as the watcher came from around the corner.

"Look what we have here." The gorgeous ginger saw the boy and girl look red handed. Their faces with shock as the counselor folded her arms as the two let out a sigh.

Mike didn't know how women could speak without talking. They had the ability to convey their emotions through their eyes. And the counselor was more than furious. But Marisol looked scared more than anything. Feeling the girl grab his shoulder to support her self, he decided to be the bigger person.

"Look I tried to run off…Mare stopped me. She heard me from outside her window. She tried to talk some sense into me."

Ellie knew this boy was lying to her face. They definitely didn't realize that she had eyes too. She could see the panic on the gir'ls face. The sweat on her brow. Her tremors as she refused to look in her eyes.

"Bullshit….." The woman stated.

"It's the truth." Mike hated how the woman could see through him.

"I'm sorry ok…it was me." Mare admitted to the woman as she noticed Mike look down at her. "I just had to get outside…I was so hot….and I felt trapped…my mind was making me dizzy….I just thought the air would make me feel better…my symptoms…I'm so sorry…Just don't tell my mom and dad. They are going through so much….I just can't…." She pleaded to the woman. It wasn't a lie.

"And where do you factor in all of this….." The woman asked the boy as Marisol bit her lip.

"He heard me outside his cabin…and he came to help…he tried to tell me to go see you….I didn't want to. I need to do this myself….just don't tell my mom…please…"The girl pleaded as the boy became grateful.

Ellie looked at the two together. It didn't seem as if she had been taken advantage of…but something still wasn't right with Mike's body language.

"How about this. No seclusion….but you will wash dishes for a whole shift…until I say so."

"That's like for 50 people." Dallas exclaimed.

"That's not my problem. Help bring Mare to her cabin with me." Ellie looked as the girl held her head down. Feeling them both place her arms around their necks. This wasn't needed. She could walk for herself. This was so embarrassing. One day she would show them, that she was stronger than this.