It's time to finish this story once and for all, with the second half of the conclusion under way! It is perhaps the longest chapter (if not unnecessarily long) I've ever written thus far, but at the very least, I intended for "Return of the Five Dastardly Bombers!" to go out in style. Anyway, Red Falcon has waited long enough for what he sees as the rematch of a lifetime, but the heroic Contras are certain they'll finish him off for good this time.
DISCLAIMER: Contra belongs to Konami, whereas Bomberman still remains a property of Hudson Soft as of March 1, 2012. WarioWare, on the other hand, is owned by Nintendo. Any songs "used" throughout the course of this fanfic are properties of their respective owners, along with any characters that aren't within the three franchises listed here, unless stated otherwise.
Chapter 16: Endgame
It was finally over for WarioWare Inc. For the second time this year, Wario had succeeded in killing both Crasher and Blaster; this time, with the help of Mona, Cheerful White, Cool Black, Cute Pink, and even Yuffie Kisaragi. With the evil warriors and the Five Dastardly Bombers lying dead on the floor, Crasher and Blaster got up to blurt out their dying words:
"We're...taking all of you...with us...we've already booby-trapped this room..."
"Look above yourselves...if you don't believe us..."
Wario and Mona, despite being tired, looked upwards and saw a time bomb hanging down from the ceiling. Then Crasher continued, "When the time bomb explodes...everything in this room...will be incinerated..."
"We'll be waiting for you...in hell...!" croaked Blaster, cackling weakly with Crasher seconds before the villainous duo died once more, this time for good.
Mona gulped at the thought. "I'm afraid they're really taking us down with them! All the doors are locked!"
Wario panicked, "Dang! Can anyone disarm the time bomb?"
"I can," said Blaze Bomber.
"But how? We're freakin' dead!"
"Not yet. I've learned plenty when I came to live with Penny and her grandfather. If I could build a mech or even invent useful gadgets for the betterment of man and Bomber alike, I should be able to disarm a time bomb."
"I'll see if I can't fish something outta Crasher and Blaster's pockets..." muttered Arctic Bomber.
[Danger BGM: Hurry! Hurry! (Final Fantasy V)]
With only 3 minutes to begin with, Arctic Bomber quickly frisked Crasher and Blaster - and eventually found an instruction manual (which just happened to be left intact despite the earlier explosion). She gave it to Blaze Bomber, who read the instructions carefully.
BUILDING YOUR OWN TIME BOMB
WRITTEN BY: BAGULAR, ORIGINAL CREATOR OF THE FIVE DASTARDLY BOMBERS
Step 1: Connect the red wire.
Step 2: Connect the yellow wire.
Step 3: Connect the blue wire.
Step 4: Disconnect the yellow wire.
Step 5: Disconnect the red wire.
Step 6: Beginning at 0, turn the rotating dial all the way around three times - clockwise, and stop at 20.
Step 7: Reconnect the yellow wire.
Step 8: Reconnect the red wire.
After all 8 steps are performed, set the timer at any desired hours/minutes/seconds as you please, then push the big red button. Your time bomb is now armed at this point.
DANGER: DOING THE FOLLOWING 8 STEPS IN ANY OTHER WAY THAN THE PROPER ORDER MAY RESULT IN IMMEDIATE DETONATION!
After carefully reading the instructions, Blaze Bomber figured that in order to disarm the time bomb, he would need to do the following steps in the exact opposite order; in other words, from 8 to 1, instead of 1 to 8. But to see the inside of the bomb, he'd need to open it up first. He fished out a screwdriver from Crasher's pocket, and used it to unscrew the bolts keeping the bomb closed. Once that was done, he had Yuffie read to him the instructions in the opposite order - while he was performing a potential explosive ordnance disposal (or EOD).
"Cut the red wire, Blaze!" whined Wario. "The red wire! It's always red like from the movies!"
"Calm down, Wario!" said Blaze Bomber. "Simulations, much less movies, aren't always exact. It takes a good engineer's intellect to get the job done. Which wire, Yuffie?"
"Cut the red wire first," she replied, "then yellow."
Following Yuffie's directions, Blaze Bomber cut the red wire, then the yellow wire. Next, he turned his attention towards the rotating dial - which looked similar to the one usually seen on combination locks in real life. Since the manual said to rotate clockwise, he figured that he would need to rotate the dial counter-clockwise from 0. After rotating it all the way around three times, he moved it to 20 and stopped there. Then he reconnected the red wire and the yellow wire in order. He took a deep breath, and asked Yuffie which wires to really disconnect in order to shut down the time bomb. Upon hearing her response, he cut all three wires in the designated order: blue, yellow, and red. Finally, the time bomb was shut off just as it reached the 10 second mark.
[End BGM]
Wario wiped some sweat off his forehead. "Whew...that was too close for comfort!"
"I know, right?" asked Mona.
Arctic Bomber sighed in relief, as if to admit something. "I don't think I've ever said this before, Blaze...but, good job."
"Thanks, Arctic," said Blaze Bomber. "All that's left for us now, is to pray for the Four Contras' safe return..."
"Not the both of us alien Bombermen. We're sticking with them to the very end as honorary Contras, or die trying. Yuffie, can your Star-powered Conformer break a hole in the barrier?"
"I think so," said Yuffie, "but I've already used up a lot of energy for my All Creation attack. Attempting to cut it open for just the two of you would risk tiring myself out..."
"What?! C'mon, Yuffie! I know you can do it just one more time, especially for 9-Volt! There's no way I'm letting Aaron, Ami, Bill, or Lance die in front of either of us! I'm only asking you this because...you see, I've been a bad Bomber-girl lately, and I wanna make it up to those I've wronged in the past. If this also means I gotta learn to control my anger, let alone my thirst for vengeance...I'll do it. Just do your part, and Blaze and I will do ours."
The ninja teen pondered Arctic Bomber's words, whilst worried she might faint. She didn't plan on dying tonight, but if it was the only way for Arctic and Blaze to catch up with us Contras for the final fight, she decided to go along with the plan. Focusing with all her might, she charged her Conformer once more, firing a Star Beam at the force field. Blaze Bomber helped out by throwing a series of fire punches and kicks; Kat and Ana jumped in by sending out Star-powered sword beams from their katanas; and Phoebe followed up with her enchanted Super Scope. Though the combined powers of the energy beams, Blaze's holy flame, and Phoebe's makeshift cannonballs weren't enough to destroy the barrier, the blasts opened up a hole for the two Bombers to move on at the very least. With a quick nod at each other, Arctic and Blaze jumped through before the hole closed up. Yuffie fainted, prompting Kat, Ana, and Phoebe to help her pull out a Hi-Potion, which could heal a moderate amount of health upon consuming it. Though Yuffie was healed a bit, she needed to take a rest until our safe return...
[Stage BGM: Go Forward Under Fire (Contra III: The Alien Wars)]
Mission 8: Red Falcon Redux
Awaiting at the Death Falcon space fortress's alien core, is Red Falcon himself. Even after his previous death two months back, he's not willing to die again without removing the one obstacle to the galaxy's ruin...the Four Contras.
Aaron, Ami Onuki, Bill Rizer, and Lance Bean...
September 2, 20XX
2:30 AM
Meanwhile, we Four Contras were near the center of the Death Falcon, its interior resembling much less of a mechanical base than before. We were inside the alien organic hallway, similar to what was usually seen in the final level of just about every Contra game Ami and I have played together. We fought off the zombie clones of both the Nazi and Japanese soldiers that perished long ago during World War II. Most of the hallway was littered with mouth-like cracks on the floor; Ami and I were quick to judge them suspiciously. Like from Neo Contra on the PlayStation 2, coming near those cracks would make the Xenomorph heads pop out and bite anything they see. Fortunately, though, they can't extend out of the open mouths just to eat us alive, and they were susceptible to fire. In other words, Ami disposed of those worm-like monsters with her Fire Bombs. Bill and Lance, on the other hand, pulled out the Spread Gun and Flamethrower power-ups for their M16 machine guns from Blaze Bomber's satchel, while I picked the Laser Beam and Ice Breath for my Contra Rifle. The actual Xenomorphs that aren't hiding in the mouth-like holes came charging forth with their flailing claws and sharped tails in a suicidal effort to keep the final defense line afloat. But rather than kill them on the spot, I froze them first with the Ice Breath, whilst Ami backed me up with her pumped-up Ice Bombs. Once they were flash frozen, Bill splintered them to pieces with his Spread Gun, preventing their acidic blood from splattering around our bodies.
Eventually, we came face-to-face with a boss gauntlet, which Bill and Lance found to be familiar from the Alien Wars incident. First up was the alien heart, flanked by facehugger-spewing eggs. However, the heart wasn't the only thing barring our way through. Joining it were two Beast Kimkohs like the one we already wiped out earlier, and most of all, the winged dragon-like beast known as the Metal Alien - the very same one we fought a few months ago deep under Dinosaur Land. Ami and I held off the three mobile alien monsters, while Bill and Lance unloaded on the rather immobile alien heart itself. Though the facehuggers clung themselves onto our faces, we were thankfully strong enough to shake them off by their tails before they could completely hold themselves in place. After forcing them off our faces, we killed them from a safe distance to avoid their acidic blood spewing out of their dead bodies. Then with careful movement and teamwork, despite taking some hits, we eventually blew all of the big monsters to guts. Finally, we reached the core of the Death Falcon with Red Falcon's head inside the glass vial; Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber stood beside him.
"Red Falcon...at least that's what's left of you," Bill began, "die now, and leave this galaxy! You don't belong here!"
"Once again," said Lance, "your alien underlings have fallen before us, the Four Contras!"
Red Falcon cackled, bearing his malicious smile before us. "Heh heh heh...it doesn't matter anymore. Like the Phoenix, the three of us will return again and again until the end of time. On the other hand, you can't exist without me or my two loyal generals. Arctic Bomber and Blaze Bomber might have, as you'd say, seen the light...but it hardly matters now."
Sniper Bomber added, "Now your friends are all suffering because you ran off on them!"
"No!" retorted Bill. "They were as strong as we are, risking their lives to hold off the last of your generals!"
"Purple Basilisk and his five Chaotic Bombers," summarized Lance, "along with Crasher, Blaster, and even the Five Dastardly Bombers. But they're the cowards and not us!"
Ami asked next, "Now then, Red Falcon...why have you come back? We saw you disintegrate into nothingness before the black hole!"
"True, but I didn't just come back to life by Sniper Bomber, Axe Bomber, and Purple Basilisk's hands. Your world invited me over for a resurrection ceremony, thanks to the destruction, sorrow, and despair inflicted upon your kind!"
"You lie, alien scumbag!" I shouted. "You're a monstrous space pirate who steals men's souls, their freedom...!"
Red Falcon chuckled deviously. "Freedom is always sacrificed to faith, isn't it? On top of that, why do you fight? Surely you have your own reasons."
Axe Bomber pounded his interchangeable fists excitedly. "Yeah! So fess up, you cowards!"
Bill ignored his remark. "Hmph. We fight not only for our country, but for our fair planet."
Lance agreed, "For might and for right! It's our destiny to defend mankind when need be."
"What do you know about all this?" demanded Red Falcon. "You fought aggressively in an effort to kill me over the years, to satisfy your own thirst for vengeance. You couldn't stand to see me or my brethren inflict destruction, sorrow, and despair any longer...so that's why you decided to take matters into your own hands. Think about it. You say you're here to kill me, but really...the four of you want to be me. The essence of the Crimson Stone within your bodies, along with my own, doesn't lie."
I gasped in surprise. "No! That's not true!"
"Oh, no? Well, since you seem unaware, I'll explain anyway. You see, when you killed me last month, I shot out a round sweep full of laser beams as a last-ditch effort before I died. You had indeed shielded your friends with your bodies, taking most hits for them...all without knowing the beams were filled with the Crimson Stone's energy. You just didn't feel anything unnatural because the damage inflicted upon yourselves was weak. One might say this is the curse of Red Falcon, but that's not the best part. We wanted you to come and get us all along! By releasing your negative emotions in an effort to kill my followers, you've done your part in my resurrection. Yes, we owe it all to you because the stone's essences are channeled directly to me. Still thinking it's not true? Heh heh, don't worry. You'll slowly end up dead on the ground before long, should you resist the curse's power to turn you against your own kind. Even your holy power and Star energy won't prevent the inevitable."
"There's no escaping the fact, Aaron!" taunted Sniper Bomber. "Not you or your other fellow Contras, or even Arctic and Blaze!"
Ami stood up for me. "You're just trying to corrupt our minds with your heresy! Curse or not, we'll come out fighting and destroy this entire hellish fortress along with the three of you...and ourselves, if we have to..."
"So be it," said Red Falcon. "Go ahead, deny it all you want! You declare yourselves saviors of mankind, but on the contrary, it's time you died for your sins!"
"Red Falcon!" I shouted. "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit..."
Ami added, "...We will defeat you again!"
[End BGM]
[Boss BGM: Sigma 1st - Reaper (Mega Man X4)]
Sniper Bomber scoffed. "Have it your way, then. It's time you saw our biggest surprise yet! On second thought, let's see how well you fare against your precious Konami Code! Up, up, down, down!"
Axe Bomber did his part next: "Left, right, left, right!"
Then the two Hate Bombers finished up in unison: "B, A, Select, and Start! Hate Bomber Fusion, BEGIN!"
"Bwa ha ha ha HA!" cackled Red Falcon. "Who says piracy is bad? Aaron, Ami, Bill, and Lance, meet the combined forms of Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber..."
Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber, having stolen our Konami Barrier incantation for their own personal gain, commenced with said incantation; only now, they're fusing together into one killing machine of mass destruction. When the fusion was done, Red Falcon called out the name of the heavily-armed android: "Snipe-Axe, the Heavily-Armed Terror!" Snipe-Axe stood at 7 feet tall, with Axe Bomber's armor for the body, and Sniper Bomber's head atop. The right arm had Sniper Bomber's sniper rifle arm, whereas the left arm had Axe Bomber's axe hand. Altogether, Snipe-Axe's body was dark green, and had the Red Falcon insignia up front on his forehead.
"Holy crap!" exclaimed Bill. "We've never seen anything like this before!"
"How are we gonna beat Sniper, Axe, and Red Falcon now?" asked Lance.
Ami replied, "What we do best: go out in style, with holy-and-Star-powered weapons blazing!"
"There's not enough time to use our Konami Barriers and wait an additional half hour just to use our Final Smashes," I warned. "It also doesn't help we're nearly exhausted from everything we've been through within the past 30 minutes!"
"In other words, we only have one shot at using our Final Smash moves!"
Then Snipe-Axe spoke, with Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber's voices combined, "Go ahead, use your precious Final Smash attacks! You know it won't work this time! When we said we were ready for you, we freakin' meant it! Mwa ha ha ha ha HA HA HAAA!"
"When we're through with you, we'll be invincible!" Red Falcon hissed momentarily to emphasize his threats. "Did you think we were just another bunch of your typical B-movie villains?"
"Hmph!" I remarked. "Well, if Ami's bomb fits..."
"...You're mocking us, aren't you?" With that said, Red Falcon generated four holographic disembodied claws with his brain-power, and sent them hurtling after us. Bill and Lance held them off, while drawing Snipe-Axe's attention. As for me and Ami, we focused on our strongest attacks possible to inflict damage on Red Falcon's glass vial. It wasn't too long before we managed to break it. The explosions reduced Red Falcon to his giant-sized, one-eyed brain from last time. Suddenly, Ami had the strangest feeling, as if Red Falcon wasn't even pulling off all the stops to kill us. Even when he fired a bunch of laser shots and spiked balls, we were able to avoid taking moderate damage. Eventually, we defeated Red Falcon and Snipe-Axe...
"Graaaargh! No...those accursed Contras! Not again...!"
"They're too powerful! Looks like it's back to hell for us..."
Bill wondered if we actually won. "Did we beat 'em?"
Lance placed his left hand underneath his chin. "I think so..."
Ami, on the other hand, felt otherwise. "Hmmm..."
"What is it, Ami?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"
[End BGM]
Something definitely wasn't right about the fight we just won. It seemed that we managed to defeat Red Falcon, Sniper Bomber, and Axe Bomber with little trouble, and yet the entire Death Falcon space fortress wasn't on the verge of self-destruction. We came closer to see what was going on, only for a ceiling-mounted turret to come down from behind us. Without warning, it blasted us with a barrage of missiles before we could even return fire, destroying Blaze Bomber's satchel and our unused power-ups inside in the process. And just in case we'd miraculously avoid taking more damage, Red Falcon shot out some lightning bolts in a wide arc from his eye, sending us screaming in agony as we were brought down on the ground.
[Danger BGM: Boss Intro III - Sthertoth's Revival (Bomberman 64: The Second Attack!)]
"GWA, HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!" uttered Red Falcon. "Stupid Earthlings! Foolish, unknowing, innocent Contras!"
Snipe-Axe added, "You let your guards down! We're only getting started!"
"Now begins the true horror! If the pieces of the Crimson Stone's essence won't corrupt you right away, then adding your souls among everybody else's should do just fine!"
"Not if we can help it!" shouted Arctic Bomber, who came charging in alongside Blaze Bomber only for both of them to be knocked over by a lightning strike from Red Falcon's eye. In the meantime. Snipe-Axe brought forth a metallic vat full of human souls...the souls of those who perished throughout the entire Five Dastardly Bombers campaign, including Sgt. Billy "Droidman" Hill, Mad Dog, Scorpion, and even the Blue, Red, Green, and Yellow teams of Delta Force! Red Falcon began absorbing every last soul, eventually ending with 9-Volt's soul.
"Ohhh, YEESSSS! I even feel the little Earth boy's soul! But that's not all, for the best part has yet to be revealed! Observe..." As Red Falcon's brain became enveloped by a purple aura, out came no less than 60 Power Stars, which were obviously stolen (and behind our backs), given their darkened appearances. "While you were held prisoner, I even had Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber raid what you bipeds call the Mushroom Kingdom. Luckily, its security was just as pathetic as it can be, from what we've seen in our research. We were gonna give it to Magnet Bomber so he could expand his Magnet Metropolis beyond your Diamond City, but I digress."
"Anyway," added Snipe-Axe, "in addition to the souls we've stolen to prevent them from going to heaven, we've also amplified the negative feelings they bear in death with the Crimson Stone's essence within Lord Red Falcon! Sorrow, despair, hatred...Of course, we also corrupted the Power Stars into Power Ztars with just that, but you get the picture. The Crimson Stone corrupts anything it touches."
"Oh, how I long for my ultimate form capable of killing you Contras...right about now! And this time, I mean it! You've cheated death for the last time! May this ultimate transformation be the final image to burn in your eyes! GWA, HA HA HA!"
As Red Falcon finished his speech, he had absorbed all 60 Power Ztars into his brain-like body. The transformation sequence had begun, for we could only watch as he changed into his ultimate, yet true form. Within minutes, he turned back into a giant-sized, hulking monster with sharp teeth, red eyes, and even sharp claws and feet. His body resembled that of a cross between a skeletal dragon and a chimera, with demonic wings on his back and two additional horned heads for snake-like arms. It may have been about the same as before, but only now, he's virtually invincible as he claimed.
"With your little friend 9-Volt's soul absorbed unto me, plus the Power Ztars I fused with the Crimson Stone's essence inside, not even your holy and/or Star-powered gadgets can faze me anymore! Oh, but you're probably thinking: what's the point of all this when I already hold the Crimson Stone's power within me? It's actually simple, as in it's all part of our little insurance policy to guarantee that my new body - in addition to the invincibility - would last forever. But getting back to the subject at hand: now we know for real the reason you fight with hope for a good future, is because certain innocent Earth children you know well - and cherish as close friends, as if they were part of your little family - still live to see the future of Earth! But, with your friend gone, your hope is truly crushed! And when you die, everyone on Earth will feel crushed, too! Observe, for we've programmed our security cameras to broadcast this entire battle all over the Earth!"
"Sadly, you won't live to see the end of Earth," said Snipe-Axe. "But enough...the time for talk is over! The time has come to obliterate the six of you, and fuse your souls with Lord Red Falcon! DIE!"
I grunted weakly. "Ami...I guess this is it...we're done for."
Ami coughed twice in response. "Yeah...We've really cheated death for the last time, haven't we..."
"We have to...destroy Red Falcon..." groaned Bill, "but to do that..."
Lance was close to passing out from the injuries. "We'd...need to...get 9-Volt's soul out...ughhh..."
As we lay unconscious and near death, Red Falcon was about to kill us by stomping on our battered bodies, as if we were a bunch of downed flies to him. But before that, he took a moment to lecture us one final time. "Heh heh heh...still twitching, I see. But, why bother? It doesn't matter anymore if you so happen to magically come back to life in order to kill me, just like you did about two months ago..."
"In other words," summarized Snipe-Axe, "you can't cheat death anymore! Now, you may be heroes to your close friends..."
"But, what about the people - children, adults, and elderly alike - whom you've been risking your lives for? Just think about it: the more powerful you've become, the more likely they fear you. Even if you do kill me, that won't save you from being tossed out of your home like the outcasts you are! They fear you've become too powerful for your own good because you pull out all the stops to kill me and my loyal associates, all to the point in which they want you out forever, one way or the other - Crimson Stone or not."
"It's not true..." groaned Blaze Bomber. "None of us would ever go rogue..."
"Save your breath, Blaze," interrupted Snipe-Axe. "Your silly 'with great power comes great responsibility' moral won't cut it anymore, because your people fear you and your four fellow Contras will eventually wind up just like us and exterminate them! You want to be us!"
I grunted weakly, "You're lying...we're the good guys..."
Ami croaked, "We're not...outcasts...just because we do our heroic job..."
"Not to mention...they set me free early on..." added Blaze Bomber, "before things could take a turn for the worse...on Dinosaur Land..."
As we responded weakly, Red Falcon had something else in mind to debunk our words. "Oh? Then I'll ask you this: why do you think the Belmont clan were forced to leave the European village they once called home, way back in the late 15th century? The reason was simple: the people feared their supernatural powers. I know your world's history..."
"Yeah..." muttered Bill, "but that didn't...stop them from coming back...well, mainly Trevor Belmont..."
"To slay Dracula and his minions..." added Lance, "when he returned..."
Red Falcon mockingly shook his head no, albeit slowly. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Still in denial. You want to know why I'm telling you all this? I, too, was once a well-respected warlord back on my home planet centuries ago. Long before your ancestors' time, my people were an advanced race - technologically advanced beyond anything you Earthlings could possibly begin to imagine. We all stood tall as one of the strongest forces ever. Unlike any typical alien that would age faster than you like bugs could, we actually age slower than you...just like your average dragon does. But then one day, when I rose to be the next warlord of our planet, the people had begun to fear me and my followers, including two of my loyal generals you now know as Sniper Bomber and Axe Bomber. Of course, they only didn't age one bit like I did during my banishment because your ancestors had obliterated their bodies during my attempted invasion on Earth, leaving them for dead.
"As I was saying, the people feared that with my great power, it would bring about the end of all our kind. Henceforth, they left me and my loyal followers for a higher world; I tolerated no cowardice! They say they hoped that someone would rise and stop me, so that they would return to the planet in peace. Bah! They're just jealous of what I could do! And so, I had begun to show them what I could do, starting with terrorizing one of the nearest planets I could find: Blaze Bomber's homeworld! Sniper, Axe, and I led the assault as we wiped out everything...all whilst I brainwashed Blaze into my own general by pretending to be a god of the one planet I just devastated. Now, for Arctic Bomber...well, she wasn't too difficult to recruit. In other words, the only "mercenary" of the original four Hate Bombers was Arctic Bomber herself, whom I paid to be one of my generals.
"Today, after I had given my generals another life in their new bodies, we attempted to invade your world again. Sure, you've succeeded time and again, much less during the Alien Wars, but...I must admit, I didn't expect you to be able to weaken my control over Blaze Bomber each time you defeated him. That must've been exactly why he turned on me and joined you. Arctic Bomber, on the other hand...well, she had the right idea of tormenting your not-so-ordinary little friend, 9-Volt...though it's an embarrassment she was immature for her own good! Now you see how I felt when my own people feared me and my powers...but who cares? Too bad for them! I'm still the most powerful warlord you'll ever know, anyway!"
I grunted in response. "That may be so...but probably because they don't like...egomaniacal monsters like you!"
"Your invincibility's only fueled by the people of Earth who died..." said Ami.
"...and whose souls you've stolen, including 9-Volt's!" finished Bill. "Lance and I may not look it, but we're like his father figures ever since you and your scumbag henchmen killed his real dad..."
Lance then said, "Without the innocent kid's soul...you're nothing..."
"And secondly..." I recalled. "There's a bit of what I remember Blaze Bomber telling us one time...before you came back with the Five Dastardly Bombers...leading the invasion."
"I yearned for freedom because I hated the idea of killing innocent people," said Blaze Bomber. "Mihaele help us all..."
Ami joined, "Yeah, what he said. You lied to him when you showed up on his world...and you've been lying to him ever since you brainwashed him...!"
"So I lied to him. Big deal! You Earthlings lie, too! You lie, cheat, steal, harass, bully, plagiarize...and even kill! And let's not forget that, like I said once before, you selfishly start wars all over the planet just to show everyone your godly powers! In case you forgot, I feed off of everything negative as long as the Crimson Stone's essence remains in me! Of course, I don't plan on overlooking the opportunity to absorb your souls too, once I've finished killing you..."
Snipe-Axe mockingly shook his head no. "While your kind has the ability to band together, much less for the sake of stopping us, as soon as you've done the big job, you all go back to committing such heinous acts on each other! Then in due time, we'll come back again! In fact, there might even be a World War IV, and we sure as hell would be ashamed to miss out!"
"...Bull..."
"...CRAP!"
Red Falcon taunted Bill and Lance's remarks. "I laugh at your feeble attempts to stand tall! Not even your planet's Savior, nor other deities like Bahamut the god of all Eidolons, or perhaps the goddess Mihaele can help you now!"
[End BGM]
[Hope BGM: Boss Intro IV - Before the Angel (Bomberman 64: The Second Attack!)]
Just then, a voice was heard. Oh no? Even we Four Contras were surprised to hear that, although it sounded familiar. When we looked up, we saw the astral projections of Mihaele and our friends that stayed behind to kill Crasher, Blaster, and the Five Dastardly Bombers. However, everyone was in "cosmic spirit" form, possibly due to Mihaele's magic. Aaron, Ami Onuki, Bill Rizer, and Lance Bean...have no fear. We've fought hard to penetrate the evil barrier while you were fighting Red Falcon to your last breath, thanks to Bahamut's assistance. And now, we will free 9-Volt's soul, and strip Red Falcon of his invincibility. I heard everything when they prayed for my arrival, thanks to Cheerful White, Cool Black, and Cute Pink.
Cheerful White's voice came up next. Don't worry, Contras! We're not gonna let you die like this! Red Falcon, Sniper Bomber, and Axe Bomber must pay for their war crimes!
Yeah! Yuffie added. Stealing an innocent child's soul just for the sake of invincibility is lower than low!
"Oh yeah?! Eat plasma!" Snipe-Axe shot the cosmic spirit forms with both the sniper rifle arm and the axe hand, but to no avail. "What the?! Aw, crap..."
The cosmic spirit forms of our friends eventually went inside Red Falcon's body, while Blaze Bomber and Arctic Bomber stayed behind to distract Snipe-Axe from attempting to kill us. With Mihaele leading the way, they had fought and destroyed the antibodies in the form of Xenomorphs, and eventually extracted 9-Volt's soul from Red Falcon's body. Unfortunately, they didn't have enough power to do the same for everyone else; thus they were forced out. We didn't have enough power to hold off the rest of these antibodies, said Mihaele, but we've saved 9-Volt's soul. Red Falcon's invincibility is no more! I'll use the last of my magic to restore you before we retreat back to our bodies...When she finished speaking, she began restoring us to full health without delay.
"Thanks...but what about...?"
Us? interrupted Phoebe. Hey, don't worry, Aaron! Once we get back to our bodies, Mihaele's gonna guide us back to our helicopter, so we can await your safe return. You and your fellow Contras finish the job and come back alive for us, okay?
5-Volt spoke up next, Until we return to Earth in peace, it's all up to you to destroy Red Falcon and his two loyal generals for good. More importantly, ignore their lies about people fearing us and casting us out. My son is safe with us, and we're with you all the way.
No matter how powerful they've become, said Mona, they're just another group of greedy bullies with a lust for power.
So keep your chin up! said Wario. You Four Contras never gave up when you pulled out all the stops to kick Arctic Bomber's butt, whether it was to save 9-Volt, or to get yourselves out of a sticky situation! Face it, Red Falcon's an even BIGGER coward than she'll ever be!
Red Falcon hissed angrily. "WHAT?! You just wait until after I kill those meddlesome Contras! I'll squash you like the bugs you are for that reprehensible remark!"
Just then, we Contras stood tall again, including Arctic and Blaze. "Hey, PANSY FALCON!" called Bill.
"Who dares to mock the almighty warlord, who just so happens to be ME?!"
"Leave our friends alone," answered Lance. "It's us you're after!"
Ami requested. "One more round. That's all we want..."
"Let's go one more round," I added. "The six of us, against the two...or three of you. All or nothing."
"If it means we must die in the end," said Blaze Bomber, "then at the very least, Earth and its denizens will live for years to come. We're prepared to sacrifice our lives to destroy you and your two Hate Bombers."
"Grrr...hmph! Fine by me! If it's one more round you want, it's one more round you'll get! I don't need the Earth boy's soul to kill you anyway! I'll just go with plan B and absorb yours instead, then I'll be truly invincible once again!"
"Boy, I never even knew for a second the whole time, that you are the KING of the evil-hearted cowards!" taunted Arctic Bomber, as she stood between me and Blaze Bomber. Red Falcon and Snipe-Axe were enraged at this point, but we weren't afraid to stand up to them once more. On top of that, we're not buying their lies and deceit about being "cast out for the fear that our powers are too great."
[End BGM]
[Final battle BGM: King Boo Battle (Luigi's Mansion)]
With all six of us Contras recovered, we were about ready for one final round - all or nothing. Firstly, Ami and I took the opportunity to use our Final Smashes, regardless of whatever Red Falcon and Snipe-Axe told us. I unleashed my Charge Shot, while Ami hurled her Holy Bomb at both Red Falcon and Snipe-Axe. While the combined version of the two Hate Bombers took massive damage...
...Red Falcon wasn't fazed one bit! "Well? Got anything else you can throw at me?"
I felt flabbergasted. "But...but you should be severely damaged like Snipe-Axe is by now!"
Ami wasn't any different from either of us. "Yeah! We stripped you of..."
"My invincibility by extracting little 9-Volt's soul? True, but I still have the souls of everyone else who died by our hands! As long as I hold them and the Crimson Stone's essence within my veins, it'll take more than your powers to silence me - and you've already reached your Final Smash limits! And like I said, we're still going to absorb your souls after I kill you anyway!"
"I expected as much..." grunted Bill, "but either way, we're able to damage you again!"
Snipe-Axe chuckled deviously. "That may be so, but as the old saying goes: you can't keep a couple of good alien warlords down!"
"And you can't keep a good Contra down!" retorted Lance.
"Though I was once a criminal like you bastards, I stand tall as a Contra now!" shouted Arctic Bomber.
Red Falcon hissed in response. "We shall see! In fact, I hope your memory's just as good as your combat skills!"
The giant alien warlord roared as he lunged both his arm-mounted heads toward our direction, each spewing out flames and shooting laser beams. Then he followed up with something that even Ami and I wouldn't expect in a Contra game: firing heart-shaped energy bursts. In other words, he apparently acquired the ability to use Evil Pretty Bomber's "Heart Bombs." Each pink energy burst let out a chain of explosions, inflicting damage on us.
"HA, HA, HA! What? You didn't expect me to use that? As you can see, I've acquired the powers of the Five Dastardly Bombers during my resurrection! What you saw just now was Golem Bomber's flamethrower, Plasma Bomber's laser beams, and Pretty Bomber's Heart Bombs! But that's only the starting point, for you can never tell which of the five special attacks I'll unleash until it's too late! So go ahead, guess the order...if you can!"
"Now it's our turn!" blurted Snipe-Axe, earning themselves a stern glare from each of us. "Hey, don't look at us. It's your own fault this happened. Seriously, your brains must be playing tricks on you."
Snipe-Axe wasted no time charging at us, following up with firing a burst of energy from his visor. Then he extended his fingers from his axe hand like metallic cables, and ensnared us for a few headache-inducing smashes on the ground. In the end, he threw us at the wall to inflict more damage, thus leaving us open for gunfire from his sniper rifle arm. However, we got up at the last second and pounded Snipe-Axe real hard. Due to the massive damage from both my Charge Shot and Ami's Holy Bomb, he was weakened.
"And now, as you'd express crudely, for something completely different!" Snipe-Axe grabbed us with his retractable fingers again, only this time, he pulled us towards him! "How'd you like to be fried to death by laser visor? Medium well, or well-done!"
The combined Hate Bombers charged up another devastating ray from the visor, but not even his grasp could stop us from breaking free. At the very last second, we broke his hold and kicked him down. Then we quickly stomped down on his face really hard, so that when he discharged the ray, it only backfired; in short, he was completely blown to pieces by his own attack.
"Your two loyal generals are dead once again, Red Falcon!" shouted Bill.
"We're coming for you again!" added Lance. "No alien scumbag is gonna destroy our home planet while we still live!"
Red Falcon hissed once more. "Prolonging the inevitable will be your undoing, for you'll soon be cast out due to your powers!"
"Only black-hearted cowards would even think about expelling us for doing our heroic job right!" retorted Blaze Bomber. "I normally don't say this, but you are merely a prisoner of your own twisted delusions!"
"Oh yeah?! I'll show you 'twisted delusions'! Let's see how quickly you can memorize this order!" He let out a deafening roar, and the astral projections of the Five Dastardly Bombers' respective emblems appeared in a roulette fashion. Because it was going so fast, we could barely notice Magnet and Plasma's emblems flashing before our eyes for a split second. When it was over, Red Falcon lifted one of his legs to magically pull us closer to himself with a magnetic force, followed by clenching it like a fist and knocked us backwards. Then he fired the electrified laser beams from both his arm-mounted heads and the two red eyes on his main head, stunning us momentarily for yet another attack coming up: the heat-seeking cluster missiles (powered by Brain Bomber's emblem), causing us to double up in pain.
Afterwards, he spewed a blast of fire in a wide arc, followed by two Heart Bombs which released wider explosions. Despite such injuries, we managed to stand tall, still intent on sacrificing our lives to end Red Falcon's reign of terror once and for all. Unfortunately, though, we still couldn't put much of a dent on his body with our strongest attacks possible, let alone the red core on his forehead. Even destroying both his extendable head-like arms didn't help much, since they regenerated periodically after. That's when we concluded: without the stolen souls and the corrupted Power Stars, he would be stripped of his true form again. But to make that happen was another story. In fact, we'd have to let him eat us, and hopefully land on the source itself.
"Aww...are you getting tired? Here, take a nice long rest...IN MY BELLY!"
We began our move by playing dead, so Red Falcon would have an easier time swallowing us in one gulp. Afterwards, we ended up inside his body, where the souls and Power Stars were bound by his heart. Of course, we expected to face - and destroy - the facehugger-spewing eggs flanking the heart. But during that part, an astral projection of Red Falcon's brain appeared before us, intent on making sure we'd get digested before long. Bill, Lance, and Arctic drew the brain's attention to help minimize the damage from the "Five Dastardly Bombers" special attack Red Falcon pulled on us twice earlier. Ami, Blaze, and I, on the other hand, blasted the facehuggers and cloned Xenomorphs threatening to kill us, and with enough effort, we unloaded on the heart until it burst to guts. Upon the destruction, the force of the souls and Stars being set free of the Crimson Stone's corrupt essence expelled us from Red Falcon's exploding gargantuan body!
"Huh? Eergh...wh-what's happening...to me? Th-they were supposed to be..."
For once in his life, eating people like us was his own undoing. The six of us Contras were spat out of his mouth, just before his giant body began exploding into lots of pieces, the remaining bits of the Crimson Stone's essence dissipating from either opposing faction. The Power Stars, on the other hand, were eventually free of corruption and merged together into the Grand Star, bearing a resemblance to the one usually seen in Super Mario Galaxy. While it grabbed ahold of us for a one-way ticket to safety, the entire space fortress was exploding due to its core being severely damaged beyond repair. Upon being reduced to a big one-eyed brain again, Red Falcon could only utter his last words before dying: "It doesn't matter..." As for the souls of the humans who were either killed or gave their lives so we could live on, they had departed for heaven.
[End BGM]
Meanwhile, at the room Crasher and Blaster attempted to kill us with the aid of the Five Dastardly Bombers, a chain of explosions rocked their location, and eventually set off the time bomb meant for us. The following explosion took out the entire arena, completely incinerating Crasher, Blaster, and the Five Dastardly Bombers' dead bodies. Not a single trace of their DNA nor their souls was ever seen again since.
A few minutes later, our friends had escaped to safety aboard the CrygorCopter, along with everyone else who kept the Death Falcon's outer defenses at bay. At the last second, the Grand Star whisked me, Ami, Bill, Lance, Blaze, and Arctic back to our Contra Cruiser to make our final escape just as the doomed space fortress detonated in a huge, blinding, nuclear-esque explosion.
[Victory BGM: Final Victory (Contra 4)]
"World War III has come to an end, whereas we stand tall," said Blaze Bomber. "In other words, we did it."
Arctic Bomber jumped for joy. "Yeah! The honor of Mad Dog and Scorpion has been avenged!"
[End BGM]
[Ending BGM: End Credits (Contra 4)]
The following two days later...
Good morning, fellow viewers! This is Contra TV, reporting live from the sidelines on behalf of the Four Contras' victory over Red Falcon and the dreaded Five Dastardly Bombers - that's Magnet Bomber, Golem Bomber, Pre-I mean, Evil Pretty Bomber, Brain Bomber, and Plasma Bomber. On account of their victory, Arctic Bomber turned over a new leaf and reformed herself by helping them - and Blaze Bomber, honorary Contra - take out the forces of evil. However, despite the efforts to bring about the end of World War III, many innocent lives had perished along the way, approximately a million or so in comparison to the aftermath of World War II. Even the Blue, Red, Green, and Yellow teams of Delta Force had been killed in action, including Sergeants Mad Dog and Scorpion.
Now, with Red Falcon dead, the souls of those who died during the war would go to heaven in peace. What shocked us, however, was that Aaron, Ami Onuki, Bill Rizer, and Lance Bean appeared to have sacrificed their lives to kill Red Falcon. But, at the last second, the recovered Grand Star used its last ounce of energy to revive the Contras, before disappearing out of existence.
Oh, and speaking of Arctic Bomber, formerly one of the Hate Bombers, the charges against her were dropped, due to her role in overthrowing the Red Falcon Empire for good. In other words, she is no longer considered a threat to mankind, although Bill Rizer and Lance Bean are keeping a close eye as her watchdogs this day. This is Contra TV, signing off...
"YEAH! Take that, you slithering jerk, Red Falcon!" Arctic Bomber cheered, before glancing over to me, Ami, Bill, and Lance. "Don't ever go dyin' on me like that again, alright? I don't wanna lose you like I...I mean, we, lost Mad Dog and Scorpion."
"I know, I know," said Bill. "But there's just one detail that still bugs us..."
Lance nodded. "Red Falcon kept saying something about us being cast out just because our holy and Star energy alike are powerful."
Ami sighed. "In short, 'our powers being too great.'"
"I hope not..." I muttered.
The three young Bombermen stood before us, with Cheerful White saying, "Don't listen to that ugly-looking gargantuan monster, fellas!"
Cool Black agreed, "White's right. You did your heroic job real well."
"Most of all, you saved 9-Volt by freeing his soul!" beamed Cute Pink.
9-Volt smiled. "Yeah. I'm glad to be alive again."
Phoebe walked next to her best friend. "And so am I, along with your mom and my dad, and Mona as well."
"I know." Then 9-Volt noticed Yuffie thinking about something. "You okay, Yuffie?"
"Yeah. It's just that...well, I dunno where I wanna stay at this point, with Wutai destroyed and all that..."
Phoebe thought momentarily. "9-Volt and I know a good place where you can stay. How about, say, the Diamond Dojo, where Kat and Ana live and train with their sensei? It's here in Diamond City."
Yuffie spent a few minutes pondering 9-Volt and Phoebe's recommendation. She had indeed lost her old hometown ever since it was destroyed during the Alien Wars. Despite yearning for its revival, she admitted that she couldn't find a better place to live...one that reminded her of Wutai. Ever since she befriended us and helped out in defeating the Red Falcon Empire forever, she came to a conclusion in which living at Diamond Dojo wouldn't hurt...at least, for a time. Then she glanced over to 9-Volt, knowing how he felt about lacking the experience his mom had in regard to inheriting his family's ancestor Rydia's summon magic, that he'd rather live his normal life alongside Phoebe and his other close friends than bear the burden while he's still young. That's when Yuffie came up with an idea.
"Here's something I wanna give you, 9-Volt," she said. "I had Ashley enchant this crystal ball yesterday so you can use it to summon me whenever you need my help, like if there's trouble and all that. And you don't have to worry about using up your energy. All you gotta do is shout: 'I call forth the Single White Rose of Wutai! Go Yuffie, go Yuffie, go!' I know, it sounds silly, given my obnoxious personality at times, but it's super-useful!"
9-Volt giggled. "Aww, thanks, Yuffie! You're funny, you know that?"
Yuffie grinned slyly. "Oh, is that so? Well, here's something I heard from your big sister Mona." She began to tickle his sides playfully, starting up his laughter. "Never fear, the Great Ninja Yuffie's here to cleanse you of the nightmares you've endured with the power of positive feelings!"
"Ack! Ha ha ha! Stoppit, Yuffie! That tickles!"
9-Volt's guardian angel continued tickling him for about 20 seconds, and stopped there to give him a warm hug. "Ahh, I wish there were plenty other nice guys like you, sweetie. But aside from that, I'm very happy to hear that Mona and your mom raised you right."
"Tee hee hee!" giggled Phoebe. "9-Volt's as sweet as he can be. Silly sometimes, but sweet and smart."
Meanwhile, Blaze Bomber was in a conversation with me, Ami, Bill, Lance, and Arctic Bomber, assuring that everything was going to be okay for all six of us Contras. "Before Mihaele left for outer space again, she said thanks...and also to forget all of Red Falcon's nonsense about people casting us out and stuff."
"That's good to hear," said Ami.
I nodded in agreement. "On top of that, we're proud to have good friends...which Red Falcon, Sniper Bomber, and even Axe Bomber don't have."
Wario barged in to add his own two cents. "Don't forget those jerks, Crasher and Blaster! They had it coming for stealing 9-Volt's soul. When evil messes with us, it gets the horns - Wario-style!"
"Yep," said Arctic Bomber. "Red Falcon and his intergalactic goons are finally gone for good."
Henceforth, we all went our separate ways once again. Cheerful White, Cool Black, and Cute Pink had gone back to planet Bomber, their homeworld (but not before Pink hugged and kissed 9-Volt affectionately); Yuffie moved to Diamond Dojo to assist Kat and Ana's sensei in helping them to hone their ninja skills; and Arctic Bomber returned to the forest at a country road where her pure crystal-wrought castle was being re-constructed. Ever since she met - and lost - Mad Dog and Scorpion, she promised to be a better Bomber-girl from now on. She's still greedy though, just not as much as before. However, since it would take a while, she thought about renting an apartment for the time being, though not without having some help firsthand.
As for WarioWare Inc. itself, the staff members temporarily went their separate ways to design their own microgames, intent on bringing forth the next WarioWare game onto the Nintendo DS upon reuniting with each other. That game came to be called WarioWare: D.I.Y., its main focus on the players making their own microgames, songs, and even 4-panel comics with the aid of Dr. Crygor's patented "Super MakerMatic 21." Additionally, the WiiWare counterpart, WarioWare: D.I.Y. Showcase, would allow the player to play the microgames - pre-made and user-created alike - on the Wii console. As usual, Cheerful White and Cute Pink would visit Diamond City to try out these two games prior to the release date, and were specially impressed with the idea of designing their own microgames, even though Penny and Blaze Bomber recommended coming to Crygor Labs for a tutorial on how it's done. Within a whole month or two, WarioWare Inc. would make a great comeback in time for the Nintendo 3DS, which Nintendo confirmed to be released by holiday season...
One night, Wario and Mona invited 9-Volt, 18-Volt, Phoebe, Yuffie, Kat, and Ana for a family-friendly bowling session at Wario Park's bowling alley, although 9-Volt's mom and Phoebe's dad didn't mind tagging along to watch. Ami and I, on the other hand, met up with Bill and Lance at Pearl Square to gaze at the starry-night sky. While we were well-aware that evil still lives on, we were glad not to worry about being cast out of Diamond City just because of our holy and Star powers. In fact, we imagined our own parents - standing alongside Mad Dog, Scorpion, and the other US soldiers of Delta Force - being proud of us in heaven.
"A peaceful time will come for sure..." I said happily.
Ami smiled. "Yeah...at least for now."
THE END
(Ending Credits)
Aaron (me) - MYSELF
Ami - JANICE KAWAYE
Bill Rizer - BOB BUCHHOLZ
Lance Bean - SYLVESTER STALLONE
Blaze Bomber - SCOTT MENVILLE
Arctic Bomber - GREY DELISLE
Wario - CHARLES MARTINET
Mona - LESLIE SWAN
9-Volt - TARA STRONG
Phoebe - HYNDEN WALCH
Cheerful White - TARA STRONG
Cool Black - VERONICA TAYLOR
Cute Pink - JANICE KAWAYE
Yuffie Kisaragi - CHRISTY CARLSON ROMANO
Penny Crygor - JANICE KAWAYE
5-Volt - GREY DELISLE
Mad Dog - KEVIN MICHAEL RICHARDSON
Scorpion - PHIL LAMARR
Red Falcon - RICK MAY
Sniper Bomber - SCOTT MCNEIL
Axe Bomber - ALVIN SANDERS
Purple Basilisk - STEVEN JAY BLUM
Metamorph Bomber - STEVEN JAY BLUM
Volcano Bomber - SCOTTIE RAY
Plasma Bomber - SCOTT MCNEIL
Brain Bomber - BRIAN DOBSON
Evil Pretty Bomber - RACHAEL MACFARLANE
Golem Bomber - GARY CHALK
Magnet Bomber - MICHAEL DOBSON
Warlock Bomber - JOHN DIMAGGIO
Boxer Bomber - BOB CARTER
Siren Bomber - RACHAEL MACFARLANE
Trigger Bomber - DONALD BROWN
Mosquito Bomber - LAUREN TOM
Crasher - CHRISTOPHER SABAT
Blaster - MIKE JUDGE
Yumi - GREY DELISLE
Kat - GREY DELISLE
Ana - TARA STRONG
Ashley - CHRISTINA PEYSER
Young Cricket - SCOTT MENVILLE
18-Volt - CHRIS RAGER
Jimmy Thang - JEFF BENNETT
Sgt. Billy "Droidman" Hill - PHIL LAMARR
Air-Droid 612 - MICROSOFT SAM
Air-Droid 613 - MICROSOFT MIKE
[End BGM]
[End Credits]
"Contra" is the name given to those elite warriors with an indomitable spirit and superior guerrilla tactics.
That's about it! I hope you enjoyed my entire revamped fanfic overall, as much as I enjoyed rewriting it in style. It's never easy, I'll admit, but then again, careful writing and proofreading counts most of the time.