Skyscraper

Demi Lovato

Chapter 5

….

Bianca felt the sun shine through her window. Why did the day always contradict her mood? But as she sat up and ran her hands through her thick curls, she had noticed Katie still laid beside her. And a light smile graced her face. Yawning, she still felt redness on her cheeks. Since when had anyone made her feel uncomfortable in a good way? The clock on her nightstand told her they had 30 minutes until the bell rang. A long day this was going to be. The day they all dreaded.

The first counseling session.

Laying on the bed again, she noticed Mare stood up as the model began to stretch.

"How can you be a morning person?" Bianca asked as the girl shook her head. At least they were all getting along together. For now.

"Well Bianca you are a nightwalker. You couldn't possibly understand." Mare grabbed some clothes and her toiletries.

"I prefer body sales consultant." The two laughed at their morbid sense of humor. It had been a while since the two had laughed nonchalantly.

"Come on. Before the others wake up." Mare watched the rebel shake the red head.

"No…not now…." She tightened her hold on Bianca's waist. Mare definitely noticed the blush on the badass' cheek when the tomboy began to pull her closer.

The model looked awkwardly at the sight of the two girls. One girl awake. And one girl asleep. Yet the other was pulling her close as if Bianca were a teddy bear. Folding her lips, she watched the brunette wake up the other girl.

"What?" Katie asked seeing the two girls stare at her as she sat up….getting out of the bed. That was the best sleep she had gotten in a while.

"Nothing." Mare ignored the elephant in the room. "We need to go to the bathroom." She rushed them as Katie shook her head in her annoyance.

The girls undressed as Katie bit her lip. She couldn't hide anything. And the fact that three were naked made her blush even harder. Of course the model and former prostitute had perfect bodies. Bianca with her scars couldn't be anymore beautiful.

"Take a picture why don't you Matlin." Bianca made the girl blush as they stepped into the three showers. Not that she minded the beautiful girl's eyes. At least she stared at her like she was perfection rather than a piece of meat or a sex toy.

Katie hated showers. They were never a happy moment for her….

Katie pulled her soap and deodorant out of her bag as she turned the locker room shower on. Taking off her shirt, she held her breath as her other team mates came inside. Their snickers. Their gasps at her body. The numerous cuts on her arms. How could she forget to put her concealer on? And why did she take her bandages off so soon. Biting her lip, she stepped inside as one of her teammates pushed her bag on the floor.

"So it's true…you do cut?" The tall black-haired girl asked as Katie adjusted the towel over her body. Proceeding to take her shower as a hand clutched her shoulder.

"you can't ignore the statement." The older girl watched the tomboy pick up her things as she helped. The other girls could be so vindictive to each other. Though they all wanted to professional they forgot they needed each other to get there. And the captain had to admit that she needed Katie on her team.

"Why do you care anyways Bethany? Someone is definitely jealous that I have a chance for the national team." Katie saw her teammate hush the other girls from making fun at her. She was a spectacle…no matter how good she was on the field, they didn't want to be her. She didn't want to be her too.

"No…but as captain….." Bethany began to undress as Katie noticed the girl's small figure.

Why couldn't she look like this? Why couldn't her hips curve? Why couldn't her stomach be flat? Why did she have too much muscle?

"As Captain….I…" Bethany felt Katie's eyes on her. "Are you checking me out?" The girl grew uncomfortable as she put the towel back over her body.

"No…." Katie kept her stature as she didn't back down. "But as least you know what it is like to be observed under your eyes. I'm not on display for you all to laugh at. And you can't prove anything. See you at the tryouts." The red head took her shower.

Katie made sure she kept her eyes on herself this time. Her lingering eyes always got her in trouble and placed her in a moral dilemma. And she hated how Bianca took advantage of that. It was like the girl was in her head or something and she knew it. Biting her lip, she still couldn't believe the two shared a bed last night. And it's odd how she wasn't as ashamed of her arms.

…...

Ellie felt as if she were in an out of body experience. Once she was one of them. Wondering and waiting for death to take her. A lifeless soul. Looking at her revealed arms, she smiled bittersweetly at the healed cuts. Though many thought they were hideous, it oddly gave her pride. Like a war veteran. She was a survivor of her life. And here she was. Helping them. Her job was the most tiresome task. You had to have a passion for it. You had to love children even when their parents didn't love them. Even when they didn't love themselves. The many times she wanted to run into traffic…but she was glad she didn't. Seeing the teens leave for their counseling session, she pulled Adam aside.

The kid who had problems that she didn't know exist. Seeing his content face, she smiled warmly…..

"Do you like your arrangements?" She asked indirectly seeing others walk passed them.

"I love it…." He felt Luke and Mike's eyes on him. "I just….what about….my…."

"Don't worry about that….just come to me…we always have some in stock." She didn't let him finish as she walked ahead to find a vacant room.

Adam was more than grateful that his mother worked out bathroom arrangements for him. Though he had to wake up extra early for a shower, at least it was by himself. He didn't know if he could say it today in counseling….and luckily Ellie told him he didn't have to. Bathrooms were a torture chamber for him…and with a guy like Luke…who knows what he would do if he found out. He persisted him mother let him sleep with guys rather than by himself to her dismay. But she had to learn to let go. Some people could be trusted.

"What was up with you and Ellie…I wouldn't mind having a one on one with her." Luke naturally said as the boy rolled his eyes.

"What…it's not like you didn't think of it." The boys couldn't disagree as they huddled around the girl. Waiting for her to open the door. Bianca noticed how Katie's red hair flowed. It was so beautiful. And she found it unnerving how she could find anyone beautiful anymore. Boy or girl. Being used and abused by both, she figured she forced herself to be asexual.

Laughing at her pessimism, all of them sat in the cold chairs of the small room. Ellie sat at the head of the circle, making sure she had all of their eyes.

Adam. Katie. Bianca. Marisol. Mike. Luke.….

"Welcome to your first day of counseling…..this isn't rushed…or forced….when you are ready…please talk…any volunteers?" The ginger asked as the teens looked at each other.

"I want to talk." The prissy girl held herself. "But I don't know what to say." Mare felt eyes on her. She couldn't hide. And as much as she didn't want to, she needed to. She needed to feel protected.

"Say….what you feel….." Ellie heard Luke's snickering as Mike nudged him.

"Have any suggestions Luke?" The ginger saw through the teen's defense mechanism.

"Nope…this is so hilarious…..I just can't believe that you guys think there is a magic button to make this go away." He saw them stare at him.

"I never said that…you did…so maybe you do have something to say…but why is it that you have nothing to say when you are asked directly."

"Whatever sick of this shit." He folded his arms as he noticed Katie and Bianca stare blankly at him. So he was becoming a show in front of them again.

"I'm pretty sure they are sick of you too….." Every head nodded as Luke sighed.

"I'm used to it…..I have a personality that is hard to get along with." He mentally pushed them away.

"If that is code for you are an asshole, then yeah…." Mare said proudly…not noticing Dallas' eyes on her.

"O and the pill popping, anorexic wanna-be model's opinion matters because…" He said condescendingly.

"Everyone's opinion matters here." The woman affirmed.

"Then why did you open it up for everyone to gang up on me….." the boy began to crack as Adam shook his head.

"We are all victims here Luke." Adam stated. "But the way you come at us. We get shitted on by our parents…by everyone at school. At least here I thought I could fit in." He shrugged.

"Well at least you can run back home to your mommy and daddy." The obnoxious boy stated. "Be grateful…not every parent wants their child…wants their family….my mom left us for the next door neighbor. She didn't even blink. She used to call and check on us…now she just stopped…and back then when my dad was remotely nice, he tried to hide the fact from us…but me and my sister already knew." The teen looked at the floor. Avoiding their eyes.

"and how does that make you…."

"O hell no…I will not be evaluated or be experimented on…" he folded his arms as the others looked at him still. Katie especially. To not be wanted by anyone, but it didn't give him an excuse to take things without regard. Seeing Bianca in her peripheral vision, she bit her lip….she wondered if the girl was glad to know he suffered.

"….you have no idea what being watched feels like." Bianca began their mouths opened. "To be always watched….to be expected or forced to "put out" because I had to. Luke you aren't the only one who was left behind." She exclaimed, her face becoming red at his stubbornness. "Do you know what it was like to be abused for 3 years of your life? And no matter how many times you tried to tell…your mother didn't believe you….my mom doesn't even hate me….because she doesn't even care. I was a roadblock in her life. She didn't even know who my father was….when I ran away, she didn't try to find me….she didn't try….she didn't try at all." The girl cried as she covered her face with her hands. Feeling Kate rub her back, she flinched away from her.

Mare looked at the hardened girl. Her mouth dry.

"It just sucks. I am so jealous of you all. You know where you come from even if you don't want to. No one wanted me. I thought there was someone…but he turned out to be my pimp. He found me hiding in an alley from drug addicts…he told me he would take care of me…..and it was good." Bianca saw Mare look at her strength. "He fed me….then he said that if I loved him, I would sleep with his friends…"

Ellie watched the complex girl break down. Bianca always jumped back and forth. One moment, she could be delicate and sensitive…and the next, she could break you without thinking. Seeing her unleash her faculties gave the ginger hope. This was only the beginning of for them all. And everyone was exhausted….and as usual Mike kept his stature.

What he thought was his greatest strength was his worst. He just couldn't allow himself to feel anything. And seeing Bianca breakdown like this made him think of his own trials. This girl was the only one in the group beside himself who had a taste of the gutter part of the world. The people in this world whose memory died along with them. Fidgeting with his hands, he sat back as he wiped his mouth.

"Why is it that everyone is trying to compete? It doesn't matter who had the hardest life." he asked without hesitation.

"That's not true Mike." Mare stated as the cocky boy huffed.

"It's not like how it feels to me…it's hard to explain…."

"Would you like a sheet of paper to write with? You could write a letter to the group about how you….." Ellie stated as the others forgot she was there. One thing about these sessions was that the teens controlled it. It became more effective when they listened and talked to one another.

"No…." He cut her off. "It's just…I'm not trying to offend anyone but no one is better than the other. And everyone's situation means something to them…." Mare listened as she held Bianca's hand.

"I don't get you." Mare looked him in his eyes. "how can you just hide your emotions like this. Its like you are afraid to feel how you feel. This isn't some street corner. No one is going to hurt you for it. Even Luke has said something but you haven't….you pride yourself on being in control….and it is something that you don't have here. None of us do…this isn't survival of the fittest…this isn't like a fight that you and your friends….."

"You shut up. You have no idea what I do." He said firmly.

"Well someone is angry now." Mare folded her arms. "At least that is something…you guys make fun of me for my dependency but at least I choose to go through this the right way. It's not something I can just run away from. You love to talk about society but everyone in here knows about that. And what's crazy is that you don't want to prove society wrong. You want to a stereotype….a thug who wants cars, clothes, and women…."

"You don't know what I want." Dallas stated.

"Probably because you don't either…you don't want to be here remember." Ellie noticed the effect Mare's words were having on Mike. So did everyone else.

"It's not that…I just don't want to forget where I come from…and the minute I step back in the real world I am going to have to let that part go….."

"Why don't you want to Dallas?" Eli inquired.

"Because…I can't leave him….I can't leave…" Mike repeated himself softly as the model bit her lip. She didn't mean to throw mental punches at him.

"Tell us….." Ellie waited for the boy to collect himself.

"Jordan is my best friend. Where he goes, I go. He has no one. No family…and my parents just want me to drop him. I can't do that to him. He was the one who stood up for me when I was picked on for…..I just couldn't abandon him like that….its my responsibility…I am his keeper. If I were to leave him behind, I would be disappointed in myself." The born leader admitted as Mare held his hand with one and Bianca's with the other.

Katie listened to everyone's story as it became harder and harder to breathe. The way they were letting their emotions run free. She hated that feeling. She was so use to letting them run free on her flesh. Rather than with words. But she did need to talk. Everyone opened up. And it gave her a little courage to do so.

"I get it Mike. I know what it's like to disappoint someone. And I know what it is like have someone who doesn't want you Bianca." The red head looked at the girl whose lip was fully healed. "I mean…it's the reason why I cut…the reason why I do my best to achieve in sports….I want to be noticed…to be loved by her…but my mom doesn't care. At all. I hear what people say about her in town….about me…the athletic voo-doo doll. I should be used to pain but I am not.…just like she wants me to be taken away from her. I know she does. The only letter I got was from Winnie my maid. The woman who took time out of her life to teach me…love me….and I see the disappointment she has in her eyes. How my mom took her life away...to look after me." Her tears poured down as Adam wiped them away gently.

"My scars don't make it better. The cutting doesn't….and yet when I did it, I thought it would every time." The red head saw her damaged flesh.

"It's true…scars don't make problems go away. Burning doesn't make your parents love again. It doesn't make your dad grateful to have a kid who hardly ever lies. All I ever wanted was to be me…but he can't see that. He can't….and I hate how my mom tries to make me forget….." Adam's pulse intensified. "I can't forget…I can't make my father love me anyone…."

"I just wish my parents hated me more." The room looked at Marisol as she removed her hands from Bianca's and Mike's. Wiping away the sweat. Becoming conscious of everyone's eyes on her. Ironic, she dreamed of people's eyes on her when she walked down the runway.

"The fact that they forgave me for sneaking out…going to parties….lying to them…they knew I was lying….and I wasn't who I used to be….my personality…I was changing with the drugs…they put my needs before theirs and this was how I repaid them….and I hate myself for it…..my parents had to sell their home….to pay my expenses….and you are right Mike….there may be a competition…because I feel as if I deserve this. This is my punishment for being so selfish…..and no matter how many times I throw up, it wouldn't go away….it wouldn't…so many times I wanted to grab the trashcan relieve myself…..I did and I still do…I can't help it….I'm not strong like you all…." She began to feel a more dizzy as the room became silent.

To Ellie's liking. The teens were taking this seriously. And no scowls could be seen. Only exhausted faces. But in their eyes, she swore she saw a little hope. She knew they weren't miraculously changed, but this did prove growth. Seeing the girls hold hands, she noticed their bond was becoming strong. And yet, the boys were still divided.

Luke knew he was the problem as he noticed the girls rest their head on each other's shoulders. He knew he had more problems then he wanted to say at the moment. He knew he was a freak, but everyone here was in their own way. Taking a deep breath, he wondered how Becky was without. him He hoped she wasn't waiting for him to answer her back. He wasn't ready yet…..and seeing Ellie's eyes on him….he knew she got what she wanted. To prove he needed help. And he did….

And as they left the room, he didn't know what it would be like when they made it back. To eat lunch.

Adam watched Katie eat slowly. Seeing the marks on her arms like him. He wondered what clique she would belong to at his high school. Probably the popular crowd because she was so beautiful…all three girls were gorgeous without words…Mike would definitely be an athlete…especially Luke….and Bianca would be the girl that Katie and Marisol terrorized. Laughing at the mental picture of the three girls fighting, they all looked at him crazy…

"Sorry…." He almost choked on his juice.

"What's so funny?" Mike tried to involve the boy.

"I was just thinking that if we went to the same school, we would never cross paths…especially you three girls….."the flawless girls blushed as the boys laughed aloud. Uncontrollably…louder and louder.

"Excuse me….We just left like a 3 hour session, and you guys are laughing like we are at a party." Katie informed them all.

"Maybe it's a sign." Bianca shrugged. "I mean…for once I feel like I can breathe. And to be honest…it is pretty funny…..I could definitely whoop you and Mare's ass…for sure." She flipped her hair as Mare playfully hit her.

"I would disagree." Luke drank as he still felt Katie's grip on him. "as we know Katie is a UFC fighter."

"She's alright." Bianca stuck her tongue out at the red head as everyone noticed her dark blush.

The tomboy didn't know why this girl loved getting under her skin. And it was getting on her nerves….at least that was what she told herself. It seemed as if part of her loved the attention….damn…..no…why? She had to find some way to break away.

"Umm…I'm done with this." She stood up as Mare shook her head.

"I can't believe I have to wash these dishes…." She watched the red head leave her.

"Just be grateful Ellie didn't do worse." Bianca followed Katie as the boys left.

"Looks like it is just you and me Next Top Model." The two grabbed the plates from the different tables.

Mare was actually kind of glad for this. She needed to stay busy. Keep her mind off of the fact that she had to get in touch with her parents. Placing the dishes in the kitchen sick, she hoped the 50 plates, 50 forks, and 50 glasses would keep her mind….

"sorry to hear that about your parents…." Mike tried to speak as he observed the black beauty turn on the water.

"I…." The boy began.

"Can we just wash dishes please…..thanks…but right now….things couldn't be worse. I am hundreds of miles away from them and I need them the most."

"They need you stronger. Focus on yourself." He looked at her as she took a breath.

"All of our parents need that…please can we change the subject…" the boy nodded as they continued their chores together.

Though he wouldn't admit it aloud, but something fascinated him about the girl. The fact that she chose to keep fighting…even without strength. The way she battled him mentally and cut him down. He noticed her eyes on him as he continued to add soap to the water.

"What?" He asked as she bit her lip.

"nothing." She shrugged as she washed away. "I guess one plus of this place is meeting different people from different backgrounds…its nice to not be surrounded by none superficial people."

"So Top Model doesn't like the limelight anymore." Her eyes dropped at the offense.

"Don't be so sensitive….being a model has it perks…everyone wants to be adored and privileged." The delinquent saw her dimples again.

"That's like saying every thug wants to end up like Al Pacino in Scarface….." She shot back at him as he smirked. "Sorry…I can't keep using my dependency as an excuse for me being bitchy."

"I got tough skin…."

"It's just that…I know what it's like to be told everyday you aren't smart enough. You aren't pretty enough. You aren't the right complexion. I wish the modeling business could see me like my mom does. Sure there are black models…but it would be so good to see more like me….."

"I don't get it Mare…why do you want to be a model. You can do better…why do you want to be valued for just your body….I mean you are a smart girl…." He inquired as he saw her expression change.

"Never mind….let's change the conversation again." The two continued their task.

…..

Bianca noticed how Adam was sitting next to Katie in the camp's open area. The two at the wood table as others talked on their steps. And as much as she wanted to join them, she shook her head at the silly boy. She should be used to being discarded anyways….

"Go away Luke." The girl sat on her steps as the obnoxious boy made his way towards her.

"I actually come in peace this time." He put his hands in pockets. He was still getting use to this grass. He was a city boy at heart. "I just….I just do things and I never think about how I make others feel."

"I should be use to it by now…people have been shitting on me for years now." She shrugged him off as he noticed where she was staring. "I'm sorry." He stated.

"Good to know….but I honestly don't need your apology." She said simply as she smiled seeing Mike and Marisol join them.

"Looks like Adam is trying to get himself a girl….." The black boy smirked.

"I doubt anyone in this group needs a relationship now." The black girl sat beside Bianca on the top step.

"I don't know Mare…" Luke looked as Adam shyly blushed. "One thing I know is when a boy wants a girl….."

"That's because you are like a rabbit." The model pushed the sandy blonde who laughed as Mike noticed their interaction.

"Are we actually getting along now?" Bianca tried not to focus on the table afar of the two.

"For now….until Luke tries for one of us again." Mare bit as the boy shook his head at their teasing. There was nothing like being teased by two hot girls.

…..

Katie blushed feeling his eyes on her as they sat together. She also felt Bianca's eyes on her. She just couldn't understand why Bianca was the way she was. She lied to herself because she did know why the girl acted out in many ways. But there was something about the rebel. Katie found herself…

"I'm glad my scars don't freak you out." Adam showed her his. The impressions on his flesh as Katie wanted to cry to boy. So this is how others felt when they looked at hers.

"Why should they?" she showed him hers as they compared. "They are a part of who we are now….this is our life….whether we stop or keep going."

"you sound as if you want to keep going…." Adam observed.

"More of….I'm in purgatory. I don't want to inflict more damage…but I still want to feel that same adrenaline rush." The girl admitted as the boy nodded.

"It feels so good that I am not the only one who thinks that's odd." Katie saw Bianca's observant eyes again as Adam spoke. He noticed how the two girls acted around eachother.

"No…it's actually kind of normal." She stated as she noticed the boy calling the girl over. "What are you doing?"

"Bianca keeps looking over here. It wouldn't be right to exclude her…"

"It also isn't right for her to make me feel uncomfortable the way she does me." The red head bit her lip.

"She's just crude…." Adam stated.

"Well you hang out with her." Katie didn't want to be near the girl as she held herself. Rolling her eyes, she walked passed the girl.

What did she do now?