Let You Go
Chapter 10
Part 2
…
Mike looked at the scribblings he had down. How Mare was helping him. How she was the only person beside his mother who never gave up on him. Why was this. He knew he could never be fixed. He knew she would move on when things became better. He knew she would end up with a local actor or perhaps a entrepreneur…a man who could give her everything that she needed.
Hearing the two boys come in, he hid the paper under his mattress. Family day was here. And he honestly, he just wanted to fast forward this day. He just wanted to lock himself in this room. No one was coming to see him. They all looked at him to be strong. But he wasn't. Right now he wanted to cry as he heard Luke and Adam chatter about their families. He just needed one person to be there. And he knew who he wanted it to be. But he couldn't depend on Marisol to save his day. He couldn't deprive her of her family today.
She needed them.
No. Today, he would just be the odd one out. He could deal. He had to.
Not seeing his roommates look at him as he left the room, he sat on his steps. Seeing the millions of decorations. The teens hugging their parents. Showing them their cabins and friends. It was already 9 in the morning…and people were already here. Feeling tears drop on his face, he felt someone wipe them away.
"Hey you." Mare tried to brighten his mood. Sitting beside him. Resting her head on his shoulder. He needed this. So much time was spent between the two. So much time that now she could truly seen behind his defenses. Amazing how you could change your face, but you could never change the emotion in your eyes.
And she sorrow when she saw it. But it touched her heart that he was no longer pushing her away. And he allowed her to touch him. Biting her lip, she looked up at him.
"Don't say it…." He stared in her eyes as she nodded.
Resting her head on his shoulder, they watched families arrive today. And her heart went out to him so much. She wished she could take it away. She wished he knew he wasn't this bad guy or this stupid guy that he thought. Looking at his hand, she nervously touched it as she felt him lace their fingers together.
He said nothing as she found herself smiling sadly.
"It's going to be ok Mike….i wont leave you." He said nothing at her response.
He wished he could believe her.
…..
George continued to drive with Audra in the passenger seat. Why they decided to drive in the same car…..Adam was the only reason for this. He was their son. And no matter how he tried to make things make sense to him, he couldn't turn his back on his child. And he didn't want him to burn himself again. He did have a heart.
Audra sipped her coffee as she read her magazine. Seeing the look on his face, he was in deep thought. And looking at the gas gauge, they needed to pull over soon.
"we need to get gas." She alerted him as he ignored her words.
"No we don't. we are at a fourth." He bit back. His eyes on the road.
Audra shook her head. Even now, the two could not be civil with each other.
"I know you are upset about me condoning Adam…but this is not the time to try to prove me wrong. Let's just get through this peacefully." She attempted to reconcile with him. All she wanted to do was to show Adam how much he meant to them. Their son had to know that he was perfect the way he was.
"Audra…." He grew irritated with her. "Why does everything have to be your way? Why do you always have to call the shots?" He slowed down on the road. Memories flashed of the many ways she tried to showed her dominance.
"Because it seems as if I am the only one in touch with reality when it comes to this family….all you do is work late hours. Neglect your family….give religious criticisms….and then when we try to involve you…you found some reason to leave…and then you finally did." She bit back.
"O so it is my fault." He was grateful no one else was behind them as he looked at her.
"Since we are on the subject….yes it is your fault. It is your fault your son feels guilty for who he is. It is your fault that you push him away. It is your fault that he burns." She guessed they weren't going to try to make this work after all. "I shouldn't have let you come anyways."
"typical you. The perfect wife. The woman who can manage it all. Business and children but let's be honest, we know why you so accepting of Adam." His face became firm as the woman waited for his answer."
"Please tell me then." Her sarcasm rung in the car.
"You were trying to spite me. You knew I wanted to give Gracie counseling. It was the only way she could….you should have sent him to the camp sooner…..not after he burned." His accusation made her mouth drop.
"I can not believe I am hearing this now. So that explains it. This was why you agreed with me to send him to camp. You thought they would change him. Get it in your mind Adam is not changing. He never will, you have to accept him for him. And I sent him there because he was burning himself George…not because of him being transgender."
"No you should have stood by me in this decision. It wasn't me who drove a wedge in this family. You did." He directly said.
"Are you kidding me. I am so sick of having the same conversation over and over again. What Adam needs to see is for us get along. Not to hear you scorn me or him. And you know that. Even now you are being so egotistical. This isn't about you. This is not about you. And I am glad we not together, because me and him didn't fit in your plan anyway. After today, you don't even have to remember us. Because we are an obligation to you…now pull over for some gas."
….
Bianca observed Katie placed the scarf around her neck with her white Tshirt and blue jeans, but now she didn't try to hide her scars. Watching her hair glow in the sun, she smiled at her.
Katie heard the chatter outside, and she was more than happy to see Bianca brighten. She had someone who was coming to see her. Staring at her body in the shorts and spaghetti shirt. Her beautiful legs made her blush as she wrapped her arms around the girl's waist.
"Well this is a nice surprise." Bianca felt warm as the girl caressed her stomach. Feeling her kiss her cheek as she turned around giving them both what they wanted. Moving Katie to the wall, her lips found her neck again. Hearing the red head moan in pleasure, she instinctively unzipped her pants…
"Ugh…ugh…." They parted as they heard a loud cough.
Marisol stood there with folded arms.
"Guys could you please cool it just for today?" She pleaded as she saw the two break apart. "Just be grateful it wasn't Ellie who caught you guys." She saw Katie zip her pants back. she wished she could share this with Mike. Smiling as she still felt his hand in hers.
"Sorry about that…." Binaca saw the red head blush harder.
As the black beauty sat on her bed, he mind began to travel to her parents. What would they think of her when they saw her? Would they see her like how she saw herself. A desperate, dependent model who did anything to get what she wanted. She wasn't that person anymore. At least she thought. Being her in the seclusion made it easier for her to abstain, but when this was over. She wanted to be strong like her mother and father. She wanted to stand for morals and fall for the cheap and easy way out. Looking at the picture of the apartment complex they had moved into, she smiled. As long as they were happy, she was too. Placing the picture back in the envelope, she memorized their letter front to back…..
Hey baby girl. I know you are doing well there because you have me in your blood. And no matter how bad things are, we always make it. I know you feel as if you hit rock bottom, but the great thing about that is you can only go up. Me and your father have so much faith and hope in you. We only wished you had it in yourself. Because you didn't need modeling to make you feel beautiful. You are already that and more. And we are doing everything we can to support you….which is why we sold the house. Don't blame yourself. Me and your father thought of this together. This is help pay for your finances for the camp as well as your agent. We are still proud of you because you acknowledged you needed help. And we love you.
Take care baby.
Bianca saw the girl wipe her face, as she handed her the tissue. Sitting beside her, it was odd how now the two were like sisters. The black beauty sniffled as she rested her head on Bianca's shoulders. Never would she have put money on the three of them becoming close. Sharing hardships with each other as the red head looked at them together. Mare definitely had to stop beating herself up. This place taught her that everyone made mistakes. And nothing was wrong with that. The athlete sat beside her as she held her hand.
….
Becky closed the door to her car. So many people were here. And she was overwhelmed by the sight of the cabins. So many teens who needed help. But then again everyone needed help. Even her. She hated how she her father didn't want to come. He was too unconscious to come. But this was her time to be with her brother. Walking to the registration booth, she waited in line.
The long line filled with loved ones. She wondered if they were like her. If they loved and hated at the same time. It was oxymoron that didn't make sence. But she loved and hated Luke at the same time. For everything. She hated how couldn't that she wanted to have a life. She wanted to have friends. But she always worried about them in the back of her mind. She was expected to take care of them both, but who could take care of her. And as the line grew lesser and lesser, she wiped her tears away. But it was no use because more came….
Becky opened the door to the dark room. Her father's room. Correction. Her parents' bedroom. Taking a deep breath, she held herself. A part of her was waiting for her mother to come back to them. To realize that man didn't and couldn't love her like they could. Why didn't she want them anymore? Wiping her tears aways, she grabbed the empty vodka bottles on the floor. Placing them in the trash can, she looked at her father's sleeping face. The scowl didn't go away. He never had a peaceful night anymore. He couldn't escape in his dreams because he only relieved that day when she walked out on them. Correction…..she was gone when they arrived with only a letter. She never thought that this could happen in reality. That life could never get this dramatic…but it was.
Kissing her father's forehead, she looked at the picture he had in the bed on his side. Grabbing it, she bit her lip to keep from crying. It was a picture of them together. And her heart broke….crashed….to the bottom of her stomach. Dropping to her knees, she placed her hands on her face. The tears, the moans, the aches….her voice grew louder and louder…not caring if her father could hear her pain. But she knew the man would never wake up….he was too drunk too.
Thankful it was her turn, she gave her name….and in return she was given a name tag and a map.
"This will definitely help." Her sarcasm didn't make this easier. This camp needed more employees. Looking at the map, she hoped she could find her way. She hoped she didn't keep Luke waiting longer than he needed to be. The millions of people she bumped into. One thing is for sure though, this place does seem to have some healing powers. The crisp clean air made feel more alive. Biting her lip, she glowed when she realized she was going the right….
"Oww….sorry." Her voice made the boy turn around.
"No problem….." Adam looked at the strawberry blonde. He golden highlights gleamed in the sunlight. Beautiful.
"Hi…." She tried not notice the handsome boy with the quiet demeanor. But it was kind of impossible to do. He had a gentle spirit about him. Something she wished she had herself. Biting her lip, she felt the blush upon her cheek.
"Hi…." He repeated his words. He was such a nerd. And his awkwardness only showed it. He could barely look this girl in the eye.
"Ummm…" She regained her composure. She was here for a specific reason. "Ummm….ummm….do you know where cabin 122 is?" She waited as she saw him nod.
"That's my cabin. What a coincidence…you must be Becky?" He saw her nod.
"and I am Adam." He shook her hand as she blushed.
"Nice to meet you. I…..hope he hasn't been to much of a pain." She bit her lip.
"He has his good days and his bad days." He teased as he noticed her fear of the large crowd.
"Sorry about the bad. He really is a good person." She tried to become more comfortable as the millions of people walked past and around them.
"yeah. He talks about you a lot. He really does miss you." He grabbed her hand so she wouldn't be stranded in the crowd. Squeezing his hand back, she smiled at him as they walked inside their cabin.
And the world stopped when the two twins saw each other. Tears in their eyes, they ran to each other. Holding each other for dear life.
"Lukie…" She brightened as she ran in his arms.
"Becks." He held her as she cried.
"I missed you so much…." She sniffled as Adam watched the siblings.
For once, Luke didn't have to be the asshole; he could finally be himself.
…..
Mare couldn't explain the elation she was feeling as her parents embraced her together. One arm around her mother's waist. The other around her father's….they took in each other's touch. They were once whole again. And her tears of loneliness became tears of joy. She couldn't forgive herself for hurting them and herself….but she would do her best to not make the same mistake again.
"I missed…" She began as she looked into their eyes..
"We did too." Her father cut her off as he held her hand. Having his daughter back was….words could not describe it. She was actually smiling. She was not lying….and she was gaining more weight. She was definitely becoming healthy again.
Mike watched the girl with her family. And he smiled as he sat at the picnic tables. She deserved some happiness. He hoped she could keep it close to her. If he couldn't be happy, he would enjoy hers. He didn't deserve her friendship. He wondered if she knew that? He always wondered what she thought about him.
Jordan turned his head as he felt eyes on them. Seeing a light skinned boy at the picnic tables…the same teen that turned his head quickly. Seeing his daughter blush, he didn't know how to react to this. He honestly didn't want to think of his daughter with another teen.
She had already been through so much with men….and drugs…..looking at his beautiful wife, she didn't know how to react either.
Paula knew her daughter better then she knew her own self. And her eyes showed how she was growing. Holding her hands tighter, she noticed her child try not to look at the boy who was staring at them. Poor boy.
He was alone. No family by his side.
Mare noticed his eyes on her, and she didn't want to leave him alone…but right now…she wanted to enjoy her family by herself. Wait. That was selfish of her to think of this. And she did promise that she would not leave his side today. And right now her emotions were all tangled…and she noticed her parents stare at her as they walked together.
"Dear…you alright?" Paula asked as they observed the beautiful scenery.
"Yeah…I'm good." The teen uttered. "I just can't believe the day has come when we are together again." But her heart wouldn't let her forget about Mike. Damnit.
"And the other reason?" Jordan looked down as Mare looked at the muscular man with a deep voice.
"…..My friend….I…he…his parents didn't come…." She paused. "you know what…I will just see him later…this is our time…and I want to talk to you guys now." She took them on a tour of the campus.
"Just invite him dear." She looked at her husband who was wary about her announcement. They knew nothing about the boy Mare was talking about. Hell, she didn't either. They had only spent a month here. And even though Paula knew this, she didn't want any child to feel without. And that was what made him fell in love with her. Her big heart.
Mike tried to go in his cabin as he felt someone tug his arm.
"Go away." He knew it was his affection as he turned towards her. He didn't need to be taken care of by her. But the way she laced his fingers with his…he had a hard time breathing. As many fights and bloody knuckles he had, a simple touch made him blush.
"come on." She pleaded as his stoic demeanor reappeared. A smile reappearing.
"No…this is out of pity." He looked at her. He had to see she meant this.
"No it's out of friendship. I know you don't want to be alone. And I know I you need a friend. I just hope you don't think I am trying to replace Jordan….I am not." He nodded as he dropped her hand. Instantly wanting to grab it again….as they walked up to her parents.
Seeing the eyes of her father. Already threatening him. Already judging him….but if he had a daughter like Marisol, he would too. He needed to protect her from him. Because even now, he found himself wanting to touch her.
This was going to be harder than it looked.
….
The red head saw her creator. Not her mother…more like her surrogate. Seeing the resemblance between them, she folded her lips. The small blue eyes to their personalities, they were the same. Only difference was the hair color. And she could not find the right words…or the right actions. Gripping her scarf, she pretended Bianca was with her. What would she say to her? She would tell her to keep her emotions in check. To not hit the woman before her.
Seeing her daughter before her, she wanted to tell her everything. But this wasn't the right timing. How do you explain to your child, that you are the problem and not her. Feeling her phone vibrate, she looked at the screen. Only Cliff checking up on her. Releasing a breath, Winnie hugged the teen.
"I missed you so much." The grey woman cried as the red head found herself crying. Her real mother was finally here. At least she knew Winnie she didn't tell her about the wedding because she didn't want her to be hurt. But that was too late. She didn't know wheter or not…..
"I missed you too." Gwen interrupted her thought as she embraced her.
She didn't think it would be awkward to hug your own mother. But it was. It was if the girl didn't know how to react around her. And she didn't. knowing nothing about the blonde woman who favored men and work more than her. But she still grinned. At least she was here. At least she mattered somewhat…that was the child in her. The little girl who wanted to forgive her truly…but the woman in her wouldn't let her forget.
Biting her lip, Winnie grabbed her hand giving her assurance. Assurance that she would make it…and she would find joy again. Remembering the girl who grew up before her eyes, she knew she wouldn't give up on her either.
"I told you she would come dear…." The two looked at the woman who was on the phone behind them. Nothing was different after all. Sitting at the picnic tables, the two watched the blonde.
"In other words, you made her." The athlete read between the lines.
"Katie your mom does love you in her own way." The maid tried to relieve the strain.
"Just not the right kind of way." Katie knew the woman could not say anything. "I just wished she could have told me about the wedding." She finally admitted as the woman's face frowned.
"It's alright….I'm not mad at you." The athlete stated.
"But you are resentful towards her." The maid saw the girl nod.
"I just…she hasn't even brought up the wedding yet to me….she's not a shy person at all. I don't even know why she had a child if she couldn't give it the love and support it needed." Winnie nodded at the comment.
"Just wait dear….let her do it on her own pace." The maid wondered how the girl found out. She knew her mom didn't tell her. But that didn't matter now. Right now, Katie felt as if she didn't matter even more.
"In other words, she wont invite me and I will have to watch it from a camera…" the teen bit her lip.
"Lets not talk about that now….." The woman held her hand. "Tell me about your adventures here." Katie smiled at the woman. Winnie always did her best to make things better.
….
Bianca hoped Katie was alright with her mother being there. She was just grateful Serena didn't show up. But she still wondered. Did the woman look the same. Did she still have the same disapproval in her eyes for her. Or the denial in her body language for the truth. Being her made her realize that you may lie to others, but you cant lie to yourself. She had was grateful Barbara was here….holding her hand. She wished she was her real mom.
"Good to know you haven't damaged any property." The woman teased Bianca as she gently nudged her. She couldn't stay for long, but she would do her best to make Bianca know that she was loved. Clutching her purse with her other hand, Bianca noticed.
"I'm not going to steal anything from you Barb." She said bitterly as they sat down at a vacant picnic table.
"O….no Bianca…..I didn't mean to give you that notion." She touched her hand as she opened her purse…pulling out the little white box. "you know…I'm not good with emotions…I don't have any children…but I want you know that I see you as that." The officer gave the gift to her.
"Barbara…I cant accept this." The rebel saw the silver locket with her name engraved on it. Smiling gently, she wiped a tear. Never had she thought she mattered to anyone….until Katie…and now…it was to Barbara.
"This coming from the girl who had a bad case of the sticky fingers." The officer commented on the girl's growth.
"No….o my gosh…I really was that bad." The teen bit her lip. "But I am glad you sent me here. You are truly that one person who cares for me." She thought about her mother.
"And you haven't been cursing as much…good job…." She tried to raise the girl's spirit.
"I'm getting better. I like it here. It's odd how now I seem to fit in. I kind of don't want to go back…Serena may try to…." She began.
"She won't….I won't let her….But I'm not going to let you get caught up in the negative." She smiled as she handed the girl the pamphlet. "It's something that you need…"
"GED programs….it's like you have been talking to Katie….." She saw the woman's confused expression. "Katie is my roommate." She felt herself blush. "She's basically been the only thing here that keeps me thinking straight." She shrugged as she put the locket on. "Looks like I will have little time to get into any criminal activities." She looked at the necklace again.
"You wont." The officer assured.
"So now we can actually talk about the elephant in the room. Barbara I am not scared of dying…or being abused…..but the thought of her just….i cant go back to her….not now…."
"I know that. Remember. I always keep my promises." The woman noticed the girl staring at the red head at the other picnic table. The way her eyes softened. The way the blush on her cheeks spoke to her.
So this was Katie.
"She's stunning." The "mother" smiled at her "daughter's" surprised nervousness.
"Yeah…she is…..i mean…"
"It's alright Bianca…so do you think that if you two keep in touch after this…that maybe I might get to meet her?"
"What?" Binx wasn't expecting to hear that question. Not that she wasn't happy to hear it, but she didn't want to make any plans just yet.
"Never mind. Lets change the subject….." Barbara held her daughter's hand.
…
Adam smiled seeing his parents together. Seeing his father call him Adam for once. He had to be dreaming right now….because this couldn't be real. But his heart wanted to believe it. Could he. His father was actually looking him in the eyes. No disgust or disdain. Watching the man look in his cabin, he only gave a body language of approval.
As they sat in his cabin, Audra held her breath. Hopefully this would keep her son together. Hopefully, he couldn't see that this was only an act. But at least George kept up the act. He was giving his son what he really needed. Real love….unconditional love. Listening to his adventures with his roommates. The "couple" smiled at each other. Adam was finally happy.
"Luke has his moments where he can be decent….and Mike definitely is the coolest guy you have ever met." The boy kept talking as Audra touched his hair. Kissing his cheek. He didn't realize he missed them so much.
"so do they know?" George asked as his mother shot him a look. "What I mean is, have you come out during counseling sessions." He did care for his child's safety. This question wasn't an act.
And Audra hated seeing the look of fear on her son's face.
"…No….."Adam knew this was too good to be true. But then again. Maybe he was overreacting. He was doing his job as a parent. He just hated how evil and close minded people could be.
"Don't worry son…..you don't have to say anything you don't want to." The man reassured as Audra nodded as he sat beside the two of them. He had to look at the big picture here. Adam was actually coping without burning. This would have to suffice for now.
"Thanks dad. I'm just glad to see you two are getting along." Audra kissed his cheek as they embraced him.
….
Becky put her feelings aside for her brother. It was just like home. Being courteous of others. Like she was a mother…..but she wasn't a mother….and Luke needed this more than she did. Taking a deep breath, she followed her brother on the trail. She was grateful she listened to him when he told her to ware flats and bug spray. But this place seemed…magical.
Luke knew his sister, like the back of his hand. And that only made him more concerned for her. She would never tell that she was breaking. And he wanted to know…needed to know. But his heart knew what she didn't have the nerve to say.
"Go on…ask." Becky held Luke's hand as they walked. The beautiful birds.
"Ask what?" She looked at him all knowingly. At his comment. "Ok…you haven't had any bruises have you?" He showed his softer side to her.
"No….Dad only unleashes his wrath on himself." She remembered how she had to take his keys with her until she came back.
"Well that will change in a couple of months." He assured as Becky only nodded. Knowing nothing would change.
"I'm going to help him…and us….." He waited for his sister to say something as she shrugged.
"I don't want to talk about that." She said bitterly. "Just you." She placed a fake smile on her face. "but cant you just put your feelings aside to help me give him what he needs. You are getting help." She took a deep breath.
"Becky I….I don't ever know if I can forgive him for what he has done to me. I'm just now able to talk about him without getting angry. Mom should have walked out on him." He finally admitted aloud as Becky stopped in her tracks.
"I can't believe you just said that aloud. Are you serious? Maybe I shouldn't have come if it would make you say such hateful things." She attempted to walk off as he grabbed her wrist.
"Becky you are just too optimistic as usual. And that is what I love about you…but let's be realistic. Mom left because Dad only put efforts in his work and alcohol."
"That doesn't excuse her for leaving us Luke." She stammered.
"But be honest….if you cold leave you would too…it's ok to admit that Becky…..you don't have to be the rock. Its alright to hate mom and dad…..even me….all three of us are putting you through hell. I know it…I see it in your face now….how you are trying to hide the pain…..its ok to feel it….."
"But I can't do that Luke. I can't…because I don't have the energy to. I have to be there to keep you guys from falling apart…..not once has anyone taken into consideration how I feel. At least Dad gives you attention. He basically ignores me because he knows I am the good one….I'm not the good one…I'm the scared one. I'm scared that dad will leave us….in a casket or through the door."
"I know…I haven't been there to protect you mentally. I'm sorry for that. You have done so much for me….and I have done nothing." He admitted aloud. It was the first time he said those words.
"No you haven't….and mom changed her number….so she doesn't want to be found. I just hate this Luke….and I times I hate you….I'm sorry but its true." Her brother held her in his arms. She had been holding this in for time.
"I'm sorry but it's true….I hated how you made dad drink more….I just needed something too."
"shh….I know." He held her close to him. Her cries got louder.
…
Mare held her father's hand as they toured the campus. She never thought she would be happy talking about this place and the people that coincided with it…but she was. A bright smiled appeared as she told them of their many adventures and misadventures. In her peripheral vision, she noticed Mike walk near them…yet he still distanced himself. Damn her father's evil eyes. With a stature of Michael Clark Duncan, anyone would be scared. And the way he was holding her hand, he wouldn't let her out of his sight for one minute.
"So Mike….umm…I'm sorry your parents couldn't….." Paula began as he understood where Mare got her kind spirit from.
"It's alright….." He walked with them as he saw the longing the model's eyes for him….no…he was just kidding himself. "Umm….Mare is definitely someone special." He saw her blush. "She is helping me to….."
"what he means to say is that we are both helping each other….I realized here I had a great fear of heights." She bit her lip as they looked at the repelling tower. "But Mike rescued me from that…..he volunteered first." She noticed the boy blush.
"O did he." The woman looked at the handsome boy. It was good Marisol was understanding that a relationship didn't have to be fast paced. You had to become friends first.
"I wouldn't say that…..everything I have been through…nothing kind of scares me." He shrugged under the man's unnerving eyes. Why did he have to say that. It was just something more he had to tell about himself.
"So you must have been through a lot then?" The man asked as the mother and daughter looked at him.
O gosh….here it comes.
"Mike…you don't have to answer…" Paula began as the young man shook his head.
"No…it's cool…..I'm an ex-criminal." He shrugged as the man noticed his hard demeanor. "Never mind." He walked away from the man's hard stare, he had to get away from this. So much for giving people a chance. Just because Mare was one way didn't mean her father was the same.
"Dad…how could you? Without Mike I honestly wouldn't be better." She ran off to him as Paula rolled her eyes at the man.
"Mike….Mike…."She called his name as he ignored her.
"I knew this would happen." He felt her grab his hand. "But I can't blame him for protecting you from me. Just go back…..pretend that I don't….."
"no…stop…he had no right." She looked in his eyes.
"Marisol. He had every right. Do you really want to be associated with an ex gang member who can't read. A guy who just got passed along in school because teachers didn't care. Because my parents gave up on me…just give up on me too." He raised his voice.
She was tired of having this conversation with him….damn him….he was so scared he couldn't see straight.
"But I won't give up on you. You have to believe….."She gripped his arms to make him listen to her. Staring in his eyes, she had to get him to see. But he avoided them. And no matter how loud his voice got, she talked to him softly….nurturing….
"Wait till next week." He felt her soft hand on his face.
"You are the most stubborn person I know. Why can't you see….you know what your problem is…" Mare said calmly.
"What's my problem…." He waited.
"You're scared." She announced.
"I'm not scared of anything." He shut her down.
"Liar because for some reason you are scared of me…."
"Now who's narcissistic? Mare you get on my nerves…do you know that? Since the first day I met you…from you prissy ways…to the way you talk…..you just…..just go away." He attempted to walk away from her as she followed him. No way was he going anywhere.
"See that is what I mean….every time we talk about your emotions you run away….why can't you talk to me…."
"Shut up Marisol." He said loudly. Regretting the words as they left his mouth. He didn't mean it.
"Don't tell me to shut up." She made him face her again. "Why because it's the truth…."
"Just stop." He looked in her eyes. Her beauty taking his mind to a dream he wanted to live. He wanted to be near her so badly. Her lips…he had to…
"Make me." She said as she felt his lips on hers. He knew the feel of her lips wouldn't last once she realized what she was doing. But he couldn't help himself. Right now, the numbing sensation of their lips moving together made him feel safe. He didn't want to run away anymore.
Finally, this was happening to her. A guy who liked her for herself. Who wasn't self-seeking. Who wasn't forcing her to do this. Feeling his tongue beg for entrance she allowed them both pleasure. Moaning into his touch, she prayed her parents weren't looking for her now.
"Mike….what was that." She took in what just happened as she placed her hands on his chest. His eyes still closed. Did they both feel the same thing? Couldn't be. Girls like her…didn't like boys like him.
"I…I…just…I'm sorry…." He began to back away.
"No…..no…." she grabbed hold to him. "I wanted it….just as much as you did." She leaned into him once again. This time, he gave into her without the argument.
….
Katie knew Winnie's need to rest in her cabin was just a cop out. There was no other way of forcing them together that would make this anymore easier. Both were trying to avoid the awkwardness of being around each other. This shouldn't be the way a mother and daughter should be. She didn't know why she wished she came after all. This was just proving her point over and over again.
The way she was pretending as if she didn't know the real reason why her mother was here. It wasn't for her…..it was for her fiancé. And she bit her tongue to keep from crying. To keep from telling the truth.
"That is a beautiful scarf Katie." The woman attempted to touch it as the girl backed away.
"Yeah." She touched it. She would not let this woman taint this like she did her. She would not let her tarnish Bianca's memory. This was just another way to not look at her scars or ask about her state of mind.
Gwen knew she couldn't keep this any longer. And her daughter had the right to know about her life. And no it wasn't fair…but she had to speak up….she had to say something.
"…..Katie….I came because I have something to tell you….." The blonde started sweetly.
"What…." The girl was on the verge of running away. Should she just blurt it out herself? What would she do when she heard the secret she already knew?
"I'm getting married…." The woman watched her daughter's face become chillingly stoic. No emotion in her eyes. Only seeing the child grip the wood table, she bit her lip.
"Say something." She waited for a response.
Did she really think that she would react remotely happy for the surrogate?
"What do you want me to say…we barely talk…even have a connection." Beginning as Katie's emotions began to release. "As a matter of fact the only thing that makes you my mom is the fact that your name is on my birth certificate….." The red head stood up seeing the shock on her mother's face.
"I want you be apart of this…that's why I told you. Don't you want a perfect family?" Gwen tried to calm the girl as others looked at the display.
"I don't know what I want when it comes to you…I really don't…you just told me this and not expected for me to explode….you want me to share you with a guy I know nothing of….." the teen released the breath she didn't know she was holding.
"Katie just listen…please….." trying to grab her daughter's hand as the athlete pulled back.
"No….you listen…you neglect me….and because of that I cut….but I never complained because deep down all I ever wanted was for you to notice me…and you never have…you avoid the conversation because you know I am a reminder of your mistakes….you should have stayed home….." Gwen felt the tears in her eyes.
"No I wont. I have been waiting to tell you that for so long….i thought I was the problem…..you are doing this for yourself. Just admit it…you don't want that man to know how bad of a mother you are….." Katie ran towards the cabin as Gwen sat down slowly. She deserved this.
….
Adam could only smile as his father continued to talk to him. Not talk at him…but talk to him. Asking him about the camp….the workers….everything. he didn't sense hate in his voice or in his heart.
"In my group….we have all grown close. Like brother and sister…I like it…I really do….thanks Dad…" He genuinely hugged the man who hugged back.
Audra wiped the lone tear as she touched her son's back. She was always waiting for this moment.
Luke held his twin's hand as walked. The things he put her through. He mentally scared her. This was all his fault. He would make this up to her someway. Looking at her, he saw her eyes on the landscape before them. Parents still gathered around their children. She wished they were them.
"I'm sorry about that explosion earlier. I don't want to play the blame game in this. We are all the same." She bit her lip.
"We are." Luke assured her. "But I need to act like a brother to you." Looking as he saw Adam and his parents by their cabin. Finding her blush at the sight of the quiet boy. She was shocked to see the three of them welcome them into their conversation.
"Luke and Becky…..Adam tells me you are the inseparable twins." Audra smiled at their connection. She also noticed how her son was looking shyly at Becky. "Its nice to see that these days." She saw the way George nodded. Trying to ignore the stares the beautiful twin was giving Gracie.
"So let me guess….as the brother you are the protective one." George asked as Adam looked at the beautiful girl….Audra continued to talk to him with her eyes. Warning him to not intervene. To not be himself.
"from now on I am." Luke stated firmly. He was expecting to see someone different than what Adam described. This man seemed nothing like an over-judgmental, pretentious man. But then again, he wasn't Adam's son. And looks were always deceiving.
Audra noticed her ex-husband posture. He was uncomfortable of the two non-verbally flirting. She only hoped he could hold on for little bit longer. At least until they got by themselves.
"Good to hear. This place seems to be making an impact on everyone's lives….." George couldn't ignore the way Adam was looking at the girl. This wasn't right….this wasn't natural.
"Umm…..Adam." He ignored Audra's eyes. "Can you bring me my sunglasses from the car." The boy looked odd when he was given the keys.
"Umm…sure….." Adam said oddly. Since when did his dad wear glasses? Never…he never wore glasses…..and he made a sigh of defeat. And his heart began to break loudly. Nothing had changed at all. This was just an illusion his parents wanted him to see. His father wasn't different.
His father wasn't different.
And he didn't love him for who he was.
Why couldn't this place help the families of the people who were here? Why did his father put on a façade for him to see?
…..
The rebel waved as her real mother drove off. She was grateful to spend two hours with her. And she wiped the lone tear from her eye. She felt so broken at times. Like she had no lifeline. She knew she had one with Barbara. But could she trust her feelings for the red head enough to depend on her. The answer was no. How could she have what she wanted and needed and still not be assured of it. Biting her lip, she wiped her tears as she walked in the cabin….seeing the grey woman sitting on Katie's bed.
"Hello…" The woman looked at the beautiful young girl.
"You must be Winnie." The rebel shook her hand as she tried to avoid her eyes. She knew her eyes were red.
"Don't worry…." The woman read her expression. "You will see your family before you know it."
"No…I won't." Bianca bit her lip as she walked out the cabin. She didn't want to break so easily. But she couldn't help it. Why couldn't life be so simple?
Sitting behind her cabin, like the first night she met Katie. Looking up she saw the red head standing over her. God did have a sense of humor. The girl of her dreams was here too.
"is it bad that I didn't want Barbara to leave me….everyone leaves me…." She looked up as the girl sat beside her.
"No…..not me Bianca." She rested her head on the rebel's shoulder. "My mom invited me to the wedding after all…..but I don't think I am going. For once…I need to do something for me and not for her." She simply said. "I never thought the moment would come where I wouldn't want to cut….and it has….." She shrugged.
"I know what you mean."
"I hope the guy that she marries is ready to have her as a wife….maybe she could give him happiness that she never gave me." Katie shrugged.
"Do you really mean that? It sounds like you are done with her."
"I am….this feeling of helplessness needs to go away. I've hated her….and myself ….I just can't let her get me like this." The smell of Bianca's lotion soothed her nerves.
"Me either…I wont' let my mom take what I have built for myself…or anyone else for that matter." The rebel looked at the jock. "Katie…I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I used to take beatings everyday and be able to block out the pain….but now…I can't."
"Bianca you aren't weak. You are strong enough to be weak. There is a difference."
"You are so full of shit." The two laughed.
"No….listen…you aren't afraid of being vulnerable anymore….. you aren't afraid to feel anymore." Katie observed.
"I should because I am at rock bottom. I have nothing to bring me back up. Nothing."
"You have me…..you have me." Katie kissed her as their tongues danced together.
…
Looking at the road map, no one was going to keep her away from her daughter. She was determined now more than ever to do the right thing. She didn't care if she was too late in time's eyes….she needed to be there. Why did her GPS stop working all of a sudden? Placing her curly locks in a ponytail, Serena turned on the ignition to her car. She would get her daughter back. If it was the last thing she would ever do.