Chapter 7 – A Host of Golden Daffodils
The monsters of Purgatory were coming at the traveling foursome in herds and packs. They still came across the odd solitary wanderer but more often than not, the monsters they met were groups out specifically hunting for the hugely sought-after humans and their angel companion.
As Cas pressed his hand to the forehead of a terrified Djinn and sent the lights of its soul exploding beneath its skin, he heard a now-familiar cry beside him. Turning his head, he watched as Nia used a fallen tree trunk to launch herself onto the back of another Djinn, plunging her blade deep into its back. She leapt off quickly, scampering out of reach to watch with a pleased smile on her face while it staggered around, screaming in pain and trying frantically to reach the blade and pull it out. The angel wondered briefly why Dean and Benny seemed to think of her as a child when she was clearly anything but.
Benny rose up stiffly from where he had been knocked down and gave her a thankful nod before putting the thing out of its misery by decapitating it with one clean sweep of his machete.
"Much obliged, Lil' Bit."
She beamed back at the vampire. If he hadn't been so weary from a day full of smiting, Cas would have smiled at the exchange as he moved away to kill his fourth monster.
Dean finished off the one he was fighting with a tired grunt, stepping back quickly as a spray of blood shot up towards his face. He looked over at the others, panting while Cas dropped the last of the Djinn. "Everybody still standing?" he queried.
If Cas thought life in Purgatory for his human friends had been violent and savage during the first few months, it had become far more so in the ones that followed. Word of not one but two flesh and blood humans plus a real life angel roaming free in this land of twisted, dark souls was spreading at an exponential rate. With nothing but an eternity of ageless existence and pointless fighting among themselves to look forward to, more and more monsters were trying their luck at getting a piece of the three novelties. The two or three fights a day had turned into six or seven then increased to more than a dozen, always with multiple foes. Getting sufficient sleep was becoming more and more difficult for the three who needed it as nighttime attacks became more frequent also.
Even through the brave faces they put on, Cas noticed the effect the constant state of peril was having on his friends and grew increasingly concerned. They were on edge almost all the time with very little chance to relax. Even during rest breaks and in the evenings around camp, they were tense and jumpy and always ready to spring into action. Weary lines and dark circles appeared beneath their eyes and their unguarded expressions were often ones of exhaustion.
Despite the situation, the angel also observed with great admiration that all three of them managed to remain in good spirits much of the time. Nia walked and even joked with both Dean and Benny, her delightful smile frequently lighting up her face. Cas often found himself watching her as they traveled without even realizing he was doing so, looking forward to hearing her infectious laughter and hoping for one of those brief moments when she would turn her head to catch a glimpse of him and flash him a private smile. He couldn't explain the feeling it gave him other than calling it a pleasant warmth inside his chest.
He was pleased to see Nia's comfort with the other two men increase dramatically over the months that followed the incident with the Kahn worm, but was privately (and perhaps a tad shamefully) satisfied that the tiny human still seemed to favor him over Dean and Benny. Despite the hunter's friendly teasing and the vampire's pet-name of 'Little Bit' that had now been affectionately shortened to 'Bit', it was still Cas she hovered near during fights. It was still Cas she spent most of the long days walking next to. It was still Cas she curled up next to at night whenever he was able to sit within the camp and keep watch at the same time, pressing herself right up against him for warmth.
The foursome had been traveling together for four months before she extended that same trust to Dean. It had been a particularly cold week and one night Cas stood watch at the far edge of camp in a spot that made a suitable vantage point but was exposed to the bitter wind. Despite his powers still not having fully returned, the angel was not affected by the weather but Nia huddled as best she could in the shelter of an uprooted tree, hugging her knees for warmth while Dean griped out loud about the cold where he lay on his back under the low-lying leaves of a fruit-bearing bush. It was with great surprise that Cas watched Nia crawl over to the hunter and curl up next to him. Shock registered on Dean's face but he didn't say anything and simply lifted his arm to let her snuggle closer against his side. Both were asleep within minutes.
Cas had watched them that night with mixed feelings. He should be pleased at the bond they were forming – he knew this. It was clearly platonic. With Nia, Dean did not act like he had with attractive women back in Earth's realm. He did not give her lustful looks and his temperature did not rise when she was in his 'personal space'. Dean's heartbeat did not speed up when Nia took her jacket off in hot weather and traveled in the tank top she wore beneath it. Nia also did not show any signs of interest other than friendship towards the hunter.
Not that it should matter, he reminded himself.
Cas knew enough to see that it was not Dean's affections aimed elsewhere that bothered him, but Nia's. Cas felt great love for Dean and felt a closer bond to him than he ever had with another with the possible exception of God, but he did not find himself craving the hunter's touch. He relished conversations with Dean and would die for him without a second's thought but did not find himself dwelling on memories of the times he had seen his friend with no shirt on. The teachings of the Pizza man did not drift into Cas's thoughts when he was thinking of Dean.
He could not say the same for the times he was thinking of Nia which, much to the angel's disconcertion, were quite frequent. He wondered if the attraction he was feeling was being intensified by the fact that his grace had not fully repaired itself. He knew it was not his vessel's doing because Jimmy had been completely dormant and utterly lost to awareness ever since Cas had taken in the souls from Purgatory and been taken over by the Leviathan. Though he would never admit it to Dean, Cas had felt a strong attraction to Meg the demon back in the psychiatric facility, both physically and on a spiritual level. It was unlike any he had felt before and it had perplexed him because he did not believe angels were susceptible to such feelings. What he felt for Meg had been similar but not nearly as overwhelming and distracting as what he was feeling these days for the smallest human in their ragtag group.
~X~X~X~X~
It had been over eight months since Cas and Dean had arrived in Purgatory and almost six months since they had begun their travels as a group of four towards the land where Benny had been told contained the door back home. It was midday when they arrived at a well-known Purgatory landmark commonly referred to as the three-forked waterfall. Nia stood at the edge of a steep drop-off, her hair wet from the heavy spray and plastered to the side of her face.
She threw her arms in the air and squealed in delight, tilting her head back and spinning in the heavy spray. "Cas!" she hollered, loud enough to be heard over the thunderous roar of the giant falls. "Isn't it beautiful?!"
Cas smiled and nodded as he peered past her at the majestic sight beyond. "It certainly is."
Dean chuckled and elbowed the angel in the side. "She's talking about the waterfall, Romeo."
Cas shuffled his feet uncomfortably, fairly certain he was being made fun of. "So was I," he defended.
Benny was smiling as he came to stand next to Nia, his hand tousling her wet locks. "Ain't you a treasure," he said fondly.
Nia hooked an elbow through the vampire's and turned back to look at the waterfall with him. "I've never seen anything so beautiful," she said excitedly.
Dean let out a quiet snort from where he and Cas stood behind the other two. "Kinda makes you wonder why God would make something so spectacular and dump it here, in frigging Purgatory," he remarked sourly.
"There's beauty in all of God's creations," Cas answered simply. "It's a matter of perception. You just have to know where to look."
The hunter rolled his eyes. "You in a philosophical mood, Cas?" he chuckled. "Just lookin' for a heads up coz if you are, I'll move on up and walk with Benny and you can ramble all you like to your lovestruck girlfriend."
Cas frowned. "Nia is not my girlfriend. It's true she clearly favors me over you or Benny, but…"
Dean let out a burst of genuine laughter. "Yeah, I still haven't figured out that one yet."
The four stood in silence for a moment, taking in the sight and enjoying the brief, peaceful respite from Purgatory's ugliness.
"Upstream or downstream?" Nia asked finally, directing the question to Benny.
"Neither, Bit," the vampire answered, pointing to the shallow water beyond the huge pool at the base of the falls. "We gotta go across."
Her eyes widened and she gasped. "No! We can't go over there! That's… that's Luthor's territory!"
Cas recalled some of the information he had dug up while he had been searching for Nia all those months ago. "Luthor rules the lands from the three-forked waterfall to the plains," he supplied out loud.
Nia nodded. "That's right," she said, sounding panicked. "So we can't go over there."
"We have to, Nia," Dean told her, his voice full of sympathy and understanding. "If we wanna get out of Purgatory, we have to."
She shook her head again, the look on her face reading pure terror. "No," was all she said. "No. No. No."
"We ain't gonna let him get his hands on you again," Benny tried to assure her.
She remained adamant. "We go around Luthor."
Cas shook his head. "To the left of Luthor's territory is a vast expanse of water with such multitude of deadly creatures in its depths we wouldn't last a day if we tried to traverse it by boat." He frowned before adding sardonically "If we were even able to build such a boat. The lands to the right are the very heartlands of the Leviathan. There would be far too many of them and we'd all be slaughtered in a matter of hours."
"Better than going there!" Nia fired back fiercely, pointing across the wide river.
"Nia," Dean took a step towards her, his tone soft. "We need to get out of this place. The way things are going…" He shook his head and exhaled slowly. "We're not going to last much longer if we don't get the Hell out of Purgatory. Don't you see that? You want Benny to get killed? Or me? Or Cas? Coz that's what gonna happen if we stick around here. It's just a matter of time, sweetheart. Please."
Nia was visibly trembling but she stared in turn at Dean, Benny, then finally at Cas. The angel remained silent as he watched a hard swallow make its way down her throat and the welling up of the water in her lower eyelids spill over. She was looking directly at him when she nodded.
"Okay," she whispered.
"Atta girl," Benny grinned, ruffling her hair again.
"Don't worry, Nia," Dean assured her. "We'll be across Luthor's turf before you know it. That bastard won't even know we were here."
Cas doubted his friend's words but remained silent.
~X~X~X~X~
At least first few days within Luthor's territory went without major incident. Most of their attackers were vampire, however, and it was a given that if Luthor didn't know they were here yet, he would very soon. The group traveled closely together and tried to leave as little trail to follow as possible. They moved quickly, stopping only when necessary and pushing themselves to near exhaustion every day.
The celestial powers Castiel had lost as a result of possessed Dean performing the angel banishing spell on him were almost back in full swing. He had recovered most of his smiting ability and his capacity to heal himself, but his angel-transport powers had not yet returned. Cas was inclined to believe they never would. It made scouting ahead and watching for approaching enemies much more difficult and he worried he would let his friends down. This was a dangerous place to be for all three of them, even by Purgatory standards.
Benny was, as Dean had phrased it, 'on Luthor's shitlist' for attempting to steal Nia over a year ago. The vampire in their little group had somehow rediscovered his humanity before being beheaded and his soul sent to Purgatory. As a result, he had found Luthor's pack far too violent and savage for his liking and had not made many friends among them even before his act of treachery in trying to rob the head vampire of his human prize.
Dean would presumably not hold any sexual appeal to Luthor, though Cas did not know for certain this was the case, but the hunter would be considered quite a trophy nonetheless. Word had spread quickly that the identity of the new human in Purgatory was none other than Dean Winchester. Luthor was a fairly recent arrival in Purgatory, his rise to power being a result of his impressive lineage and savagery more than a matter of 'putting in his time' and working his way up. In unfortunate irony, the vengeful leader had been sent here by John Winchester with Samuel Colt's infamous supernatural gun. This made Dean a highly sought after target for more than just the taste of his blood.
Then there was Nia. Cas had seen how close she was to losing her tenuous grip on sanity when he had first found her. The horrors she had experienced at Luthor's hands had caused her to withdraw into herself so completely she had almost lost herself in there, a savagery of her own surfacing to protect her both physically and emotionally. The angel shuddered at the thought of the vampire getting his hands on her again and made a silent vow he would not let this happen. She had trusted him enough to follow him in here and although he did not understand her faith in him, he would not let her down.
It was just a few nights into Luthor's territory that the young woman surprised the angel with a confession of feelings and unexpected physical contact. Dean had teased relentlessly about Nia's 'crush' on the angel but Cas had simply ignored him, realizing the type of physical relationship he was jokingly implying would not be possible. After all, Castiel was an angel trying to repent for an enormous multitude of sins – it seemed only fitting he try his hardest to remain above such debasing, primal urges that humans engaged in. Also, though Nia had never spoken of what had happened to her when she had been held captive by Luthor, it was clear she was not comfortable with intimate displays of physical contact as a result. It had taken her weeks before she was able to hold his hand and months before she would even allow the other two to come close to her without lashing out. Granted, she had come a long way since and was now willing to curl up next to any of the three men for warmth as she slept, but she had seemed to draw the line there.
It was a warm night and Cas was on lookout with Nia while Dean and Benny slept, all four sheltered by a grassy hill and huddled in close to each other for protection. Cas and Nia sat on the ground with their legs stretched out before them, enjoying the silence and the rare peace this night had given them so far. She had her head tilted and leaning against his arm when she suddenly straightened up to give him a curious look.
"Is there anyone in there with you?"
"Are you referring to my vessel?"
She nodded.
He shook his head. "My vessel was fatally wounded and wants to pass on. My grace is the only thing keeping his body alive. His soul is still in here but it's dormant. I used to feel him but since I let the Purgatory souls and the Leviathan inside, he has completely shut down. There is nothing of him left. His soul is tucked away in oblivion within this body, simply waiting for me to vacate it so he can move on to Heaven."
"What's his name?"
"James… Jimmy Novak."
Nia looked thoughtful for a long minute. "So he's not awake and he's not ever taking his body back?"
Cas shook his head, sympathy and guilt welling up inside him for all he had cost the devout young man his vessel had been. He was shaken out of the melancholy train of thought when Nia suddenly rose to her knees and lifted one leg over his, straddling his lap and sitting down on his legs with her face just inches from his.
"That means this body is yours then," she said, not phrasing it as a question.
"Uhh…" Cas stammered, not sure why he was so flustered. "Yes, I suppose so," he managed. "Nia, what are you doing?"
Her small hands cupped his face softly. "Can I kiss you?" she asked bluntly. Nia had never been one to dance around her point.
Cas was at a loss for a reply. He remembered kissing the demon Meg and how much he had enjoyed the sensations but… but Nia was everything Meg wasn't. "Why?" he asked, not even realizing at the time that he was nodding his head.
She didn't reply but simply leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. Ever so lightly, ever so tenderly, and just for a single heartbeat before she withdrew.
Cas felt his breath quicken. "That was nothing like the pizza man's," he whispered, instantly regretting his idiotic choice of response for such an intimate occasion. He could almost hear Dean's sarcastic words berating him. 'Smooth, dude. Real smooth.' It was true, however. Nia's kiss had felt nothing like his 'pizza man kiss' but strangely, it had even more affect on his physical state than the forceful tonguing he had given Meg.
"I just wanted to see what it was like," Nia breathed, sounding shy though still sitting in his lap with her fingers resting lightly on the sensitive skin beneath his ears.
"And?" Cas wondered aloud, his insides still fluttering. How was one tiny touch of the lips having such a profound effect on him?
She smiled timidly. "I like you, Cas. I like us." She jerked her head towards the sleeping pair lying a few feet away to include them. "I like all of us… together." She smiled at him. "But I like you most. I like you… different."
Cas floundered for a reply. Should he admit his feelings also? He was an angel. He could love - he had figured that much out already with Dean - but could he love in a romantic sense? Some inner part of him was yelling that this was not fair to Nia, reminding him that he wasn't going back topside and that they would be parting soon. He decided to stop this before it went any further but his words betrayed him. "Could we do that one more time?" he heard himself saying.
She nodded but made no move so Cas leaned his head forward, slanting it slightly to press his lips against hers, his arms wrapping around her small form.
This time was even more magnificent than the last. His insides caught fire and his mind reeled, blocking out all thoughts that didn't involve the tiny human on his lap. He parted his lips ever so slightly and felt her tongue running along his lower one. She moved against him and pressed more firmly, finally slipping her tongue inside for a delightful flicker or two before pulling away again.
He was surprised to find he had closed his eyes and he opened them now to find her smiling, her amber eyes sparkling at him. Her chest was moving with fast breaths and her hands gripped his shoulders tightly.
Cas was about to thank her and tell her how much he enjoyed that when a groan sounded from the sleeping hunter just a few feet away. "Oh God, tell me I'm not going to have to chaperone you two from now on," Dean grumbled. "No hanky panky when I'm in the vicinity, capishe?"
Cas cleared his throat and Nia hopped off his lap instantly, sitting back on the ground next to him and using his larger body to hide bashfully from the hunter. She linked her arm in Cas's and rested her head against his shoulder, a small giggle escaping her lips.
"Sorry," Cas mumbled, feeling his cheeks flush.
Dean just snorted and rolled so he was facing the other way.
~X~X~X~X~
It was two days later before the hunter brought the incident up. He was sitting next to Cas in the camp they had selected for last night. Benny had gone hunting with Nia since they had a rule now that nobody was to ever be alone.
"About the other night," Dean began, clearly uneasy about the topic. "That thing with Nia…"
"I apologize," Cas said quickly. "It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable."
Dean shook his head. "Nah, Cas, I'm alright with it. I mean, I don't get it but… well it's not like I'm her dad or anything."
Cas frowned, finding that an odd thing to say. "She is an adult, Dean."
"I know, I know, I'm not saying she isn't. I mean, she's probably more… more grown-up than you in some ways." He sighed. "I'm okay with you and her… whatever you're doing," he continued. "I'm just saying that she's been through a lot and you gotta understand this would hurt her if you, you know, if you don't feel the same way back."
The frown still on Cas's face deepened. "I do," he admitted truthfully. "I like her very much. She is less complicated than most humans. She says what she means and I understand her. But…" He pursed his lips. "But I'm aware that I am not good for her. I've brought much pain and hurt to those who have befriended me and when…" He cut himself off, catching himself before he let slip that he was not returning through the door with the rest of them.
Dean apparently didn't catch the near slip-up. "Cas, you screwed up, alright, but that was yesterday. Blank page here, man. If there's one good thing to come out of this hellhole, it's that things are clearer and the shit from the past got wiped away in all the blood we've seen here. I forgave Sam for Ruby and Lucifer and I forgave you for breaking that wall in his head and for the whole 'I am God' thing. That's what family does, Cas. We argue, we fight, but we have each other's backs and we forgive each other when we screw up."
"Thank-you, Dean." Dean's forgiveness meant a lot to Cas and the fact that Dean just called him family was not lost on him. He thought perhaps he finally understood the meaning and power in that word.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, lost in their thoughts though listening intently to the forest around them for sounds of enemies as always. But it was clear Dean hadn't said his piece yet for he brought up the subject of Nia once more.
"Uh, if you two, you know, take things further," he blurted awkwardly, "don't do what the pizza man did, 'kay?"
Cas gave him a puzzled look. "I thought women liked what he did. Especially what he did with his tongue in her…"
"Dude!" Dean cut him off sharply. "That's a mental image I don't need to associate with you and Nia." He shuddered visibly. "What I'm trying to say is, in that movie, the pizza man was a little... rough, and some women like that, eventually, but…"
Dean shifted in obvious discomfort but Cas was eager to hear the advice so he remained silent and waited for the hunter to continue.
"Just go slow with her and let her lead," Dean finally explained. "And be gentle. No matter how bad you want to… take it up a notch, just be gentle."
"Don't order off the menu?" Cas offered, remembering Dean's words of advice before sending the angel off with Chastity.
"Definitely don't order off the menu. Unless she asks you to."
Cas nodded though he was still confused as to what constituted 'the menu'. "Thank-you for the advice, Dean," he said solemnly.
"Don't mention it."
There was a pause.
"I mean seriously, Cas, don't mention it. As in don't ever mention this conversation again or I'll kill you."
Cas was about to assure his friend he wouldn't when a prayer from Nia sounded in his head.
"Cas!"
He jumped to his feet. She was terrified. He concentrated for a second to figure out which direction she was in and started running, Dean close on his heels.
"What's goin' on, Cas?" Dean asked urgently as they ran.
As if in reply, Nia's prayers explained what was going on.
"Vamps!" she prayed, her voice panicked and her fear hitting Cas like a sledgehammer. "Twenty, maybe more! They got Benny. There attacked us but there were too many and we ran but there were more and he told me to hide and he led them away but I can see down the hill and they got him. They got him! I don't know what to do! There's just too many! Please come quick!"
Frustrated he couldn't pray back to answer her, Cas picked up his pace and hoped Nia would do as Benny had instructed and stay hidden until he and Dean could get there.
"What the Hell's going on?" Dean repeated, even more urgently.
Cas didn't bother to look back as he answered him. "The vampires have Benny."
~X~X~X~X~
A/N: Hope you are liking Cas and Nia together – odd pairing I know but the two of them are both very worldly and yet very childlike in their own ways.