I have a firm belief that "If I can't make fun of myself, then what can I make fun of?" So I have a fondness for self-depreciating humor.
Sooooooo this chapter is mostly 'Issei training montage' chapter, or rather just shows what our demon boy wonder has been doing since he woke up. Which can basically be summed up as 'getting the ever loving shit kicked out of him' while explaining a few things. No pain, no gain, no ultimate powar amirite?
Annnddd, as one reviewer pointed out Issei would be effectively useless for a majority of the fights in the series. I'm quite happy they did this, actually, as I was able to incorporate answers to the question within this chapter. Props to them.
To another reviewer, yes. Issei was just a single piece when they got him. He was normal before he got a kick in the nuts with MAGICAL HOLY POWER. Now he's abnormal even by Devil standards.
I'm also dicking around with the Devil's ranking system, as in 'everyone gets a boost for my shenanigans fic'. Because it's not fun if only Issei gets a power boost (through whatever means). Also because I think Japanese ranking for things like this is amusing and I simply want to toy around with it.
And one last thing that I forgot in the last chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Anyone who says I own anything is lying through their teeth and you should smack them with a rolled up newspaper.
So then, let the story begin...
LIFE 1
PART 1
When Issei became a Devil's Saint, everything changed.
Becoming a Devil's Saint, while technically possible for any resident of the Underworld, was still an incredibly rare feat to accomplish. The sheer amount of insanity one would have to possess to consider this ritual an option, knowing full well of the agony it'd cause them, and succeeding anyway would forever label them one of the Underworld's 'Greatest Idiots'. So Great, that they went straight from idiocy into brilliance than full circle back into idiocy. They were a walking legend, a reminder of what a Devil could be, and of by all intents and purposes in the realm of evils was a lesser being.
Of course, the reality behind the romanticism of Devil's Saints was an entirely different matter. For all the hurrah over holy immunity, no one was truly impressed by a reincarnated devil accomplishing it. Compared to a pure devil, reincarnated devil's got off easy with the ritual. If a reincarnated devil felt like a human being dropped into a vat of boiling water for several months on end, a pure devil felt like a human being dropped into a vat of boiling liquefied metal. The difference in pain was significant enough to pay an ascended reincarnated devil no mind outside of the occasional politeness required for meeting with one of the Saint's station.
Funny how the ritual they'd worked so hard to complete had become a greater tool to the devil's pawns, than the demon's them-selves.
The court proceeding was simple enough. They gathered some of the elders, those willing to appear out of duty to observe a lord's toy being raised in status. 'Marriage to the Gremory', one whispered to the other while eyeing Issei on the stand. 'The family of kindness wants that holy power pretty badly, huh?'The other devil would turn to his friend and answer, 'Wouldn't you marry off your daughter if you thought her children could have holy destruction?' To which the previous devil would grumble about game breakers and unfair genetics.
It was true that the power of destruction was dangerous, an obliteration of existence, and those who acquired it were given the title of 'Extinction', or a variation of such. As her mother before her, Brunette Madame the Extinct, Rias Hyodo Germory, as she was now called, had been given her own title Daughter of Extinction. Her brother, Extinction's Providence, said to be the greatest destruction user in devil's history, was proof of her potential; or rather, her genes potential.
A great deal of Devil's had been curious of what the combination of Gremory and Pheonix would be like, the power of destruction and immortality placed into a single being. One might even say eager to witness such a brand of super devil brought into existence. So when a shabby fake devil had put a stop to it, many were found displeased with what had happened. A few had even petitioned the family to continue with the marriage anyway, or at least have their daughter bare one of the Phoenix's children.
That nonsense had been put to rest when the Madame herself stepped out of the castle and politely told everyone to quit their bitching. And like that, the cowards had scurried off as fast as demon-ly possible, back to safety of their shadows to continue their scheming.
As said, the proceedings had been relatively simple. They needed to only confirm his immunity. Test it in front of trusted witnesses. But while it might have been 'simple', nothing with devils was ever easy. So when Issei reached for the cross that'd been carried in a titanium box covered in dark seals and placed before him, the head Countess hit a lever and sent the boy down into a vat of holy water. If he lived, he was a devil saint. If he died, they got to see a fake devil melt. It was a win-win.
It took him a minute, to adjust to the sudden drop he'd experienced but Issei had eventually found the ladder provided and climbed out of the vault filled with divine power. This was the undeniable proof they needed, and while Issei stood there shivering and glaring at the court, the Countess clapped. As one the people of the court followed suit, most giving a half-hearted tap of the hand. It was court procedure to applaud the rising of a Devil's Saint; but that didn't mean they had to be enthusiastic over it.
"This court acknowledges Issei Hyodo Gremory as a Devil's Saint." The countess leaned back and crossed her legs. "Congratulations, Lord Gremory." And that was that.
Then, within the span of two months since his initiation into demon-hood, Issei was raised from low-devil rank to the highest rank, Ultimate-class, the greatest accomplishment for a Devil. Though if one were to look close enough on the paperwork regarding this suddenly elevation of class, they might just spot the label 'fake' before the Ultimate-class title…
Honestly, if he hadn't been a member of the Gremory house himself, they might have tried to cheat Issei out of the Saint's legal rank. Maybe that was why Sirzechs had him sign the certificate before tossing him into divine generated misery?
"Have at you, Issei-dono!" Said the griffin headed demon butler before slamming his fist where Issei had just been seconds ago. The ground cratered, cracks shooting along its shattered form. Issei's brow twitched at the sight of such destruction.
He was really starting to miss his training with Rias.
He'd been 'put through the paces' as it were, since the day he was officially declared a Saint. It was said to be one of the ultimate goals of Devils, to become immune to that which was their absolute bane. It was a sign of power, or so they say. What it really was, was a sign of endurance and a willingness to do something crazy. Self-inflicted torture for a new branch of powers wasn't for the reasonably sensible, he'd been told. Not that Issei had much of a choice at the time.
But regardless, he was expected to have the kind of power people assumed Ultimate-class devils had, so his newly found brother-in-law had set him up a program. The 'work-Issei-till-his-whole-life-is-about-ultimate- power-even-if-it-causes-him-to-meet-a-gruesome-dea th'! And it nearly had. Repeatedly.
The schedule was simple in theory. In the mornings he had physical training, in the morning to afternoon he had demon power instruction courses, in the afternoon more physical training, afternoon to evening demon power application, evening rounding off with 'ultra-extreme-supreme physical testing'.
When night came around, he spent it meditating, and by meditating Issei would mean wishfully thinking of his wife's perfect body, further practicing demon powers under someone's instruction, or every few days getting to enjoy a few blissful hours of sleep. It'd been four days since he last visited the ever evasive land of dreams and two since he tasted anything more than a pile of dirt. Such luxuries as daily meals and sleep were for Ultimate-class powered, they'd told him.
To Issei's surprise, his body had adapted pretty well to the new found schedule. Sirzechs, ever helpful, explained that his 'ascension' to Saint's body had increased his body's endurance to absurd levels, even by devil's standards. Apparently being near melted for a full month had given his body amazing tolerance.
Being a Devil was weird.
Admittedly, this kind of training plan was only possible because he was a Saint…and because they had Asia, barer of the Twilight Healing. The ability to patch Issei up from nearly any form of injury had allowed Sirzechs a wide berth of opportunity that he was most eager to act on. The Saint was being nearly killed daily. And it worked; having the ever loving shit kicked out of him was making him stronger.
Issei stopped just under the punch of his opponent "D-does that make me a Sayjin?" He asked just in time to take a knee to the face.
There wasn't much they could do with him on such short notice, Sirzechs had explained to him. Martial techniques and skill were something developed over time, which was something he was gravely lacking. So they worked on his raw potential; physical might and magical reserves. A strong enough force could knock away any opposition. The greatest dragon, 'Big Red', was proof of that. But he was a mind-boggling ancient dragon of conceptual realities and Issei was a formerly ordinary high school student turned super demon. Kind of a difference in strength there.
Twisting under the assault of the bird man he'd been sparring with for the last few hours, Issei spun into an elbow strike to the griffins gut. Blocking the attempted kneeing, his fist homed in on his opponent's face. The griffin butler caught it with a single, impeccable glove hand. While the Saint had been worn ragged from the hourly battle, his opponent's dress suit was still crisp and clean.
The feathery man twitched his beak up into a smile. "Marvelous form, Issei-dono." And then he sent Issei flying with a solid kick to the chest.
Thus continued the morning beating of Issei Hyodo Gremory.
Part 2
"Pay attention!" Issei once more found himself scolded.
Sitting in a desk within the Gremory castle's courtyard, Issei was being tutored on the conceptual potential of demons powers; by his wife no less. It didn't feel real, though, being married to Rias. Kinda like they'd skipped all the important parts of the marrying process: the confessions, the dating, the kissing, the se-
"Hyodo-san," Rias stressed, wanting his focus. She was standing in front of a blackboard, teaching pointer in hand. Framing her face were a lovely pair of glasses, which she wore whenever she was serious about explaining something. Sporting a blouse and flowing skirt, topped with her hair pulled into a no-nonsense pony tail, the Crimson Tempest was entirely into her role as a strict instructor.
"As I was saying." Rias tapped the board with her pointer. "A Devil's power comes from their imagination. Firestorms, hurricanes, black holes, even the powers of destruction, 'The Great King', were once nothing more than simply 'a devil's perceived special laser'." She moved her pointer down the board, "Of course, over time it'd gained a conceptual connection to the Bael family through the observations of those around them. The thought process of "Bael+Demon powers=Lasers", or alternatively reasoning, such as "Demon powers+Lasers=Bael" had led to the family gaining their infamous power of destruction and it becoming an inheritable trait passed down the line."
Rias adjusted her fake glasses. "Of course, right now the Bael family is in a crisis over their heir's lack of inherited destruction power but that's another matter entirely." Shifting the pointer on the board, she landed on the bottom. "While lasers are, in theory, nothing special as any demon with enough focus could craft their own energy skills, the recognition that the 'powers of destruction' are the strongest kind of laser abilities has led to them retaining their immense capacity despite the best efforts of other Devils."
Issei, cheek palmed and elbow resting on his desk, was admiring the way Rias's form fitting clothing shifted whenever she moved her tool across the board. Or just moved at all.
"So one must be thinking, 'if imagination and perception are so great, why don't the devils just make something that can slay god'?" Rias slapped her pointer against the board, startling Issei. "Because they can't!" She reached over to the side of the black board and flipped it over. What had once been simple mathematical concepts and written notes had turned into a giant 'X' over what looked like a rather crude drawling of a demon firing lasers at a god.
"A demons skill is more than just imagination and what those around them perceive it as!" She smacked the board again for emphasis. Or maybe to just get him to stop eyeing her. Issei wasn't sure.
"A demon must also rely on their personal magical stores." She moved her pointer to a section in the far corner. "All a Devil's non-physical power is fueled through their inner spirit, their essence. This internal source of energy allows a Devil to accomplish amazing feats. Willing environmental alterations, condensing energy into a modifiable form, changing their physical appearance – it all depends on the Devils inner capacity to 'do the impossible', as it were."
"Usually it'd be near impossible for a modern day Devil to craft abilities on par with one of the household powers. New Devil's are considered too un-creative and under-powered to formally craft such a skill…Which is more the bias of the Elder demons to younger generations if anything." Rias pointed her teachers prop at him, "However, you Hyodo-san, as a Devil's Saint, have gained access to variety of powers from which to mold your potential."
Rias flipped the board again, revealing another drawling, this one being of a humanoid with an aura surrounding its shape. Wait, when did she-
"A Devil's Saint," she started, once more hitting the board with her pointer, "are those blessed with 'the gift of divines'. It's something that all Devils are capable of acquiring but few actually achieve. It immunizes the Demon body against it's greatest threat, provides the user with exceptional endurance and grants them the capability of learning skills usually inaccessible to those of the evil alignment."
"One of these skills is the power of light; the tool of the Gods to protect humanity from the Devil's manipulations." Rias flipped the black board yet again, and this time it had several drawings on it. An angel, fallen angel, dragon, god, human and devil were all on the board with all but the devil crossed out. There was an 'Okay!' and an arrow pointing at the devil. "While you might have gained the power to wield light itself, it's mostly useless against anyone not a Devil. Most of our potential enemies are either outright immune or aligned with the power of light. This makes holy powers against them little, if at all, effective."
She moved the prop up to the dragon, then to the God. "However, contrary to popular belief, not all Dragons or Gods can naturally block holy powers. Some of these are Evil aligned, usually mythical tricksters or world enders. On the other hand, sometimes an Evil aligned God or Dragon is immune to holy for one reason or another. It's not entirely impossible so you have to take it on a case by case basis."
"Still, you shouldn't get into the habit of relying solely on Holy warfare to handle your battles." Flipping the board once more, this time back to the drawling of the humanoid with an aura; to which multiple notes and smaller drawings had been added on to it. How is she doing that? "That is the purpose of this class, to familiarize yourself with your other potential sources of power," Rias narrowed her eyes, "and to make you aware of the danger you cause to those around you."
Issei blinked, "Eh?"
Rias pointed at some of the smaller drawings on the board. "Besides the inherent immunity and great endurance gained through the ritual, the user also acquires the ability to use holy powers with little thought and at a reduced cost of energy. Because it's become a natural part of the Devil's body, almost akin to breathing." She moved it along the drawings, which Issei had only just realized were made in conjunction with one another. "Due to this, a new Devil's Saint runs the risk of accidentally 'discharging' their holy powers and hurting those around them. So they must be trained early or run as risk of becoming a hazard to their fellow Devils."
"…Is this why I've been forced to sleep outside all this time?" His inquiry was rewarded with a swift slap on the desk via Rias's pointer.
"No questions until after the lesson!"
"Y-yes, Buchou!" Another slap.
"Call me Ria-, I-I mean Gremory-sensei!"
"Yes, Gremory-sensei!"
Part 3
"Ara ara, Master," Akeno clapped her hands and smiled, "You're doing so wonderful today~." Issei looked towards his senpai turned mistress and gave her a hesitant grin. He'd have completely forgotten that she was, in fact, a member of his now legalized harem if she didn't have a need to remind him every moment of the day.
While a mistress in the Human World would have to have been kept a secret, a mistress in the Devil's World was a legally claimed and acknowledged 'second wife', as it were. They were protected by laws and granted certain privileges that were usually only found with the spouse. Not to mention the ludicrous amounts of money they were said to be paid and were given more 'lee way' as it were. They could meet and greet with any kind of nobility at their leisure, their finances were considered separate from their masters, had it far easier with removing themselves legally from their significant other than the spouse, and more.
In exchange, the master was gifted with an (assuming) talented individual under their employ. While a mistress was often used as a means to sate ones carnal desire, they were just as likely to be used for other roles, such as instructor of an art. In devil society, while a mistress could be seen as having gained a certain social status for having become the secondary wife of higher ranking nobility, a Devil could be seen as having risen in worldly status and power by having possession of certain kinds of mistresses.
They were just another form of politics and entertainment to alleviate the kind of boredom expected of creatures that lived for thousands of years, really.
So naturally, Issei, now a Devil's Saint married into the Gremory family, was flooded with requests to be allowed entry into his personal harem; most of them from men. Turns out the title mistress were just as much a gender correct term as Kings were in the Rating Games for Devils.
Issei was not amused.
"Master?" Akeno tried to break him out of his thoughts, leaning down to look at the Saint. "Is something wrong?" Issei kept his eyes on the glowing green ball of magic in his hands. He'd quickly discovered two things. One, anything related to holy powers came nearly instinctive, and two, anything that wasn't holy related he was having severe difficulty grasping.
The Saint wasn't sure why, honestly. He'd read enough manga to be familiar with this sort of training in the magical arts. It was essentially crafting skills through your own imagination, and with someone who'd spent their life surrounded by super heroes and hot-blooded men he should have had an easier time making 'super special amazing powers', as Lord Maou had put it.
It was said that becoming a Saint opened doors to abilities that Devil's were once incapable of…but did that mean some 'doors' were closed in the process?
"Mas-ter." Akeno pronounced, hoping to have his attention. Issei averted his eyes. Akeno was casually garbed in a Victorian cotton blouse skirt and laced apron. The headdress on her head topped off the entire maid outfit. When he first spotted her waltzing around in it, he felt a tingle of blood drip down. Cleaning himself, and approaching his second mistress Issei asked why she was walking around in such a get up.
"It's because your porn stash had a lot of maids in it, so I started dressing this way to please and entice you."
"…Just kidding~."
He most certainly did not have maid-porn-with-large-breasted-long-haired-women-in -graceful-uniforms-working-to-please-their-masters -in-the-sexiest-ways-imaginable!
"Master," She stressed, growing impatient. Issei finally dared to look at his 'personal maid', as she'd been calling herself, to find her giving him a sly glance, mouth curled into a tiny smirk. "Is there anything wrong, Master~?"
"N-no." He denied, looking away from the priestess. Akeno giggled behind him, more pleased with herself than Issei liked.
"Very well~." Akeno tapped his shoulder with the ruler she'd brought with herself, "Please produce another spark of lightning."
Issei nodded, turning his focus from friend-turned-maid to the energy he'd kept in his hands…and it was only now that the saint realized that he'd managed to keep a ball of magic going without paying attention. But how did he-wait. Had Akeno been teasing him the whole time to keep him distracted? Take focus off his magic gathering? In the beginning it took the center of his concentration, even with holy powers, to keep the magic flowing. But now…now he'd just completely forgotten the essence in his hands.
Issei glanced out of the corner of his eyes at the maid wannabe, and saw that she was still smirking to herself. She was smugly pleased with his reactions, at least.
And he couldn't help but want to be teased by her more.
Inhaling, exhaling, Issei felt the forces of nature gather into his hands; small pieces, barely noticeable by the greater powers which held the worlds together. His gathered essence shifted, turning from a translucent emerald ball of power into an energized dynamo of electrical discharge. It lit up the Saint's face, sparking little bits out of his hands.
Compared to all the other kinds of magic they'd tested, earth, fire, water and other forms of natural magic; lightning was the most responsive outside of holy. Akeno had explained to him that holy and lightning powers held a certain connection, being unofficially registered under the element 'Heaven' –being considered its sub-elements. Often the two were combined to form 'Holy Lightning', a stable attack of Fallen Angels.
Issei wasn't sure how to feel about that.
"Holy power, the 'Light of the Gods', changes depending on the person," Akeno started explanation, "While the core characteristics remain the same, the form of the holy power tends to shift from person to person." She lifted the ruler up from his left shoulder and placed it on his right. "Some light powers are brightly colored, some darker, some have alternative affects to them, like tossing 'embers' or 'static' even without adding such an element to the affinity." Then she lifted the ruler off his shoulders entirely. "The later is very rare, however. And you're not likely to see it unless dealing with individuals who've 'strayed from the righteous path' or those who gain light powers through external means."
Akeno walked around to Isseis' front and pointed her ruler at the sparkling lightning ball in Issei's hands. "When you're not adding lightning your Holy power seems to be wavy, kinda like the heat that comes off fires." She stated, leaning in to get a closer examination, "It also seems that whatever you do, your powers have a green tint to them. Isn't that great, Master? You're holy powers are shaded the same as my favorite color."
"R-really?"
"Of course," She closed in on Issei, sly smile gracing tantalizing lips, "my favorite colors whatever tint Issei-kun's power is, after all~." Issei felt his cheeks heat up. S-she didn't really mean that, did she?
Akeno leaned back and coughed. "Now, how about you split it into multiple balls?"
"Multiples?" He copied, looking back at Akeno.
"Yes," She lifted her hand and produced several small balls of magic, each one hovering in a set patter around her palm, "a true master of demon power can reflexively duplicate their powers on multiplex levels while sustaining the spells degree of power within each copy. This allows them to build up a far more substantially potent attack." The maid lifted up the hand holding the ruler, a single finger sticking up. "You've never seen me do it before, but I could level a mountain with one spell casting." She noted, smiling.
A m-m-m-mountain!?
"So go ahead Master, give it a try." She urged him, and Issei set out to accomplish his task. Twisting the static ball with his hands, it corkscrewed. First it turned into an oval shape. It tried to pull itself apart, pieces of it stretching away before cartoonishly snapping back into the original ball. Then he tried to corkscrew it, twisting the ball in hopes of ripping it apart. It simply unfurled itself.
Issei gave it several more tries, all utter failures, before Akeno sighed and told him to stop. Issei let the energy disperse as commanded. "It's okay," She consoled him, "not everyone gets it on the first time."
"…And by 'everyone' you mean…"
"Three percent!" She offered cheerfully. "Even Koneko and Kiba got it on their first times. But don't let the fact you're considerably less talented than them stray you from the path of magical enlightenment!~"
"N-not even…" Koneko he could understand. She seemed like the type that could do something if she could put her mind to it. But Kiba? Kiba. He'd never accept that. Not losing to Mr. Perfect Bishounen Fancy Pants.
Akeno lifted up her wrist and checked her watch. "Master, it's time for your evening beati-training. How about we pick this up next time?"
Issei, determined to excel, and not just single minded wanting to one up his fellow male comrade, totally not the case, rose to his feet. Taking hold of the Priestess's hand, the Saint got right up in Akeno's face, catching her by surprise. "Please!" He begged the blushing maid, "Let me stay with you a little longer!"
He wasn't going to stop until he could do just as go-no, better than Kiba!
"I-I, th-that, Mast, Isse, ah," Akeno, always the aggressor and never on the defensive, found herself timidly spurting out replies. Her demeanor had turn a full one eighty from the confident young woman she'd been moments ago.
"Please, Akeno-senpai." He pleaded earnestly.
"..O-okay." She squeaked, and Issei awarded her with a smile that made the Priestess catch her breath.
"Thank you!"
Part 4
"Kill…me…"
Clothes tattered and wounds scarring his body, Issei crawled away from what'd become the most terrifying part of his day. He'd just let him-self plop down on top of the nearest hill he could find and enjoy his small respite.
This part of the day was filled with training in what was an ever changing sentinel labyrinth. Able to shift it's form on a whim, and capable of categorizing every map it's ever created, it was said that the Labyrinth, Stray Man's Odyssey, never used the same layout twice. It was a walking alternate dimension, the 'living adventure', it could supply any kind of monster or creature, terrain or environment, hazard or event, depending on the adventurers rank and memory. It was an endless expansive of epic journeys, and many paid ridicules amounts of money to traverse inside. Over half of the Gremory's funding came simply from setting up appointments with other demons looking for a fun time.
Issei had squeed when he realized it was essentially a living game simulator.
It was considered to be one of the three greatest familiars in the underworld, to the point where it'd surpassed the usual rank ceiling of 'Ultimate' and given it's own rank of 'Supreme', and Issei had been running through its courses every day since he'd been declared Ultimate-class Devil.
And it belonged to none other than Lord Gremory himself. It was actually the subjugation of this beast that had earned the Lord the rank of Ultimate. How he accomplished this, Lord Gremory wouldn't say. Some assumed he'd earned its respect by going through a thousand floor marathon and fighting a Super Bonus Supreme Ranked Boss at the bottom, others whispered that he bested the labyrinth itself in single combat. Colossus Mythical Construct vs. The Legendary Abstraction…a title Lord Gremory was proud of, apparently.
He sad down and flinched with pain road up his side; if the Lord had actually gone through some super trek through the living maze then Issei held a new respect for the man. Issei could just barely manage the lower settings on it; smaller adventures, lasting nothing more than a few hours. It usually consisted of him running through what was essentially a stereotypical role playing games Demon Lord's castle and fighting the boss at the end. Sometimes he met Sirzechs in the throne room, sometimes, well...
Heels clicked through the room as step by delicious step the Crimson Tempest made her way down the staircase from her throne, hips swaying. From her collar bone to her bellybutton of her dress, all was revealed, with the only thing keeping her 'modesty' were a pair of simple coverings over her teats. The bottom half was more proper, a silken black gown trailing behind, wisps of ebony smoke coming of the end. She was wearing what was seemingly impossible – but that didn't change the fact that the way it flaunted her luscious curves was amazing.
There was also the fact that it was made entirely out of her power of destruction.
Somehow.
With a single swoosh of her cape the red headed beauty extended a hand to Issei.
"Be mine, hero!"
"Yes! Oh god, yes!" There was nothing in this world that'd make him happier! To which his wife-turned-demon-lord answered with a suffering sigh.
"Issei-kun…" She started, distressed by his antics. "You know that's not the right answer."
"It's the best answer!" He said with all the confidence in the world.
"We have to do this right!" She scolded, hands on her hips. "You know what the scenario requires!" He did this every time. But could anyone blame him? A beautiful woman asked him to be hers. What was he supposed to do? Refuse?
Apparently so.
"b-but…." Issei gave her a mournful look, "I want to be yours."
"…I-I know," Rias looked away from her husband, cheeks shaded. It always ended up like this, too. "But we have to go by Stray's work or we can't proceed. So, please," She glanced back at him, adding on "For me?"
'For me', one of the most, in Issei's opinion, unfair lines a significant other could say. In was the one hit KO that had Issei on his knees and waiting to please his lovely master.
Adjusting his hero head band and lifting his sword, Issei uttered the words that'd let them proceed with the adventures final showdown. "I refuse!"
Whipping out both her hands, the dark powers of destruction gathered in her palms. With one, deep voice, Rias muttered "Pity."
Issei wasn't quite sure how many times he'd faced his wife in a 'duel to the death'. Stray Man kept its adventurer's from dying when inside its walls, dispersing them not unlike that from the Rating Games. The battles never went well either. He had an absolute zero success rate when fighting against Rias. At first it had simply been from any lack of desire to harm her. She'd grind that out with the first dozen losses via laser to the face. Now he actually tried to best her, with varying degrees of failure.
Apparently, even with how significantly less powerful she was than her older brother, the Daughter of Extinction was still considered on the level of Ultimate-Rank class demons – their weakest, as it were. At least until the Saint got a boot up the rank ladder.
Rubbing his neck, Issei groaned to himself. Getting hit with concentrated beams made to burn away your very existence was not fun. The Saint wasn't quite sure how the powers worked outside of 'conceptually best lasers ever' but he was thankful its users could turn down the juice whenever they wanted too. Otherwise he'd be lacking a head several times over by now. And an arm. And a chest. And a-
"Issei-san?"
Snapping out of thoughts, Issei turned to greet his visitor, "A-asia, how long have you-"
"I just got here," Asia smiled. The ex-nun had, like Akeno before, her switched from her usual attar into that of a…maid uniform. He could barely handle having one mistress-maid running around and tried to get her to switch back to the nunnery. Instead of an innocent compliance to his demands like Issei wanted, Asia had instead refused to switch. It had to his shock, after a bit of escalation, led to a rather loud argument in the hallway over the get up. Issei never knew Asia had it in her. Neither did her, probably.
When things had eventually calmed down, thanks to a timely intervention from Grayfia herself, the former nun outright declared that she wouldn't change out of her outfit. Issei, fearing a sudden plummet from the blood loss he'd lose over watching the adorable nun walk around as a mei-maid, begged for her to change out of it.
Asia bit her lip, distressed, but still gave a final 'No' before slamming the door shut on that conversation by walking off. It was mind-boggling how Asia, their Asia, could suddenly be so stubborn?
"Are you hurt?" She asked, smoothing out her skirt and apron before sitting behind him. They both knew the answer to that, obviously. He was always hurt. But it was a way of easing into meeting one another after Issei's daily beatings.
"Y-yeah," Issei scratched his check, glancing to the side. Then he felt a sudden rush of healing energy enter him, "Ahhh," The Saint closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth that flooded him. Asia moved her hands across his back, hands glowing green with magic. He got to see her three times a day, after each beating to get a quick patch up before moving on to the mental training sections. Each time she'd greet him with a smile and a form of 'good work'. A may have been a small thing to others, but to Issei it'd become one of the things he'd look forward to.
That and…
Chugging on by the two, little puffs of smoke coming out of its stack, was a toy ship. Its wheels turned in the air, effectively useless but still utterly adorable. Issei smiled at the sentinel toy.
"Hey, Yoshitsuna." The toy ship puffed some more smoke, slowly floating its way up to its master. One wouldn't know by looking it, but this was a living ship, the Skioblaonir, one of few legendary Norse ships crafted by a long lost tribe. He'd been given it as a 'wedding gift' by one of Sirzechs's Rooks. They'd actually planned to give this to him later, but, well, the ship according to them could change shapes depending on its master's growth; so the moment they began his training they had him accept it as his familiar.
The name has been Rias's idea.
The ship tooted up to its master, a single biscuit riding on its tiny bow. Issei grinned and swiped the morsel. He didn't care to savior the meal, quickly shoving it into his mouth and after a few bites swallowing it. The Saint feared that if anyone stumbled across this little heresy they'd rob him of his meal. While he hadn't had any 'official' meals, he got snacks like this thanks to the efforts of his little boat. How it was managing to get a hold of the food, he didn't know or cared. What mattered was that he had something nice and toasty filling his stomach.
"Suna really likes you, doesn't he?" Asia kept running her hands up and down Issei's back. Issei glanced over his shoulder to look at the devil nun, wondering if the damage had been worse than he thought. Asia grimaced but kept her silence.
"I guess." The boat circled around its master, happily spinning its wheels as it went. "Wonder when he'll get bigger."
"What do you think he'll turn into?" Asia inquired innocently.
"…A space ship," Issei finally declared, "The greatest space ship that ever existed."
"A…space… ship?" Asia tested the foreign phrase, and gave Issei a questionable glance.
"Yeah! Its…Its, uh, a ship. T-that travels…through space." He added on lamely. Of course it went through space. That's why it was called a space ship.
"I-I see." Then the conversation came to an awkward close; Asia, running her hands along her masters back, and the Saint staring up at the bleak purple sky of the Underworld. From the feel of it she was almost done. Issei glanced at his arms and could see the wounds visibly close. Asia had over time gained the ability to heal a person's injuries, regardless of location, with just a touch. It was something she'd developed while patching him up. If he heard correctly from Sirzechs, she was learning how to do it at a distance. Than game mass heals, than stats removals, than revivals…
She was almost like a white mage. That was kinda neat.
"Issei-kun," For the second time that day she caught him off guard. Issei glanced back at the nun, still hard at work to put him back in one piece,"I-if Suna can really flying into space," She started, "T-then…"
"Then?"
"…Will…will you show me the stars?"
"…Asia?" Issei questioned softly.
"I-I…" Asia had stopped healing him, hands balled in her lap. Issei glanced over his shoulder at his friend, and saw her head hung low. Whatever expression she might have had at the moment, it was hidden by her bangs. She seemed to be stuttering a bit, trying to justify her wish. Issei, unsure, could only listen to the nun babble to her-self.
She wanted to see them, huh?
"Yeah," Asia stopped mid word, blinking, "I'll show you the stars, Asia." Come to think of it, Issei didn't actually know that much about the nun did he? The Saint knew of her past, all the horrible things that'd happened to her but…what about all the happy things? The wonderful, warm, fond memories and dreams she must have had, even if they were few, he still wanted to know. Needed to know.
"R-really?" Asia asked hopefully, Issei nodded, still facing away from the girl.
He wouldn't ask right now why it meant so much to her; but someday he'd find out. Either she'd tell him herself or the Saint would pester the nun enough to reveal her secrets.
That's what friends did, right?
"T-then, um," Asia continued, raising herself "Would you like if I g-gave you a shoulder rub?"
"...Yeah, sure. Thanks Asia."
Part 5
Rias was not pleased.
Standing by the entrance to her home, leaning on the side of the door, the Crimson Tempest could see what was happening. She'd been watching them the entire conversation, like she'd done yesterday, and the day before that, and before that, and so on and so forth. Her heightened ears couldn't pick up what they were saying at this distance, being that they were to the human eye nothing more than specks on the horizon, but she could see them. And read their lips.
"I'll show you the stars, Asia."
Rias bit her thumb in frustration. It wasn't fair.
"Lady Rias?" The red head looked back to see her brother's wife, Grayfia, making her way up to the entrance.
"Hello," Rias looked away from the silver beauty, dropping her hand and staring blankly off in the distance. With luck, she wouldn't-
"They're a lovely couple, aren't they?"
Tch.
"Who?" The Daughter of Extinction feigned confusion, hoping the head maid would drop the subject.
"Issei and his mistress," Grayfia zoomed right in on the two, still chatting on the hill. The maid frowned when she saw Issei, who should have been training at the time, was in fact receiving a back massage. She'd let it go. For now. "They really are adorable."
Rias's mouth quivered and she took a quick glance over at the hill. Still there, still talking, still lovey-dovey.
Ever since Issei had woken up and put before the court, he'd gone through nothing but training. Nothing. Every waking moment he was supposed to be training with someone or working on something. The path to Ultimate-class was supposed to take hundreds of years of slow bodily grading and mental preparation, both on part because of the Devil's stupidly long life-span and the honest need of that much time to train their bodies.
But since Issei was a Saint, which meant he was now one of the most durable individuals in the Underworld, and because of Asia's Twilight Healing, they were trying to push him to at least high-ranking demon power within the span of months. And it was working. Through the combined efforts of her family, their resources and his own personal hardship, Iseei had gained more strength then she could have imagined.
Her husband was nothing like the powerless little boy he once was.
But still.
"It's not fair," She finally relented, staring longingly at the two.
"It's entirely fair." Grayfia stated, to Rias's shock. "She's a legal part of his harem, Lady Rias. She's just as entitled to time with him as you are."
"But I don't even-"
"You don't, no." Grayfia continued, cutting off her sister-in-law. "But there's a reason for that. He has to get stronger, Rias, and time with you would be…distracting." She emphasized. It was true; Issei was more distracted when she was around. The Crimson Tempest didn't honestly think he'd remember half the things from this afternoons lecture – he'd been too busy admiring her, uh, 'beauty'.
Not that she was any better. Most of the time he came to class drenched head to toe in sweat and she was…admiring of the way the training was working his muscles. And the way his sweaty clothes clung to every inch of his body after training was-
Rias shivered.
Grayfia pulled out a silver pocket watch and clicked it open, peering down at the tiny hands. "Hmm," The maid snapped the lid shut just as quickly as she'd opened it and coughed to get her mistresses attention. "Lady Rias, I've a message for you from Lord Sirzechs."
"…Yes?"
"It was "You get twenty minutes. Have fun Ria-tan,"." The silver beauty felt a smile tug on her professional stoicism when she could see her sister-in-laws eye's light up. "Of course, this was meant to be delivered four minutes ago so..."
Rias blinked. "B-but, you-your the one who…!"
"Do you really have time for this?" Grayfia cut off the girl's complaints and tapped her pocket watch, "tick tock, Lady Rias."
And like that, the Crimson Tempest was gone.
Part 6
As the night sky churned, clouds twisting into a greater storm, a figure sat perched on a high-rise building. They were pelted with droplets of water, uncaring of the inevitable downpour. Their cloak flapped as the elevated winds picked up, and in the farthest distance one could see a single flash of lightning gracing the darken sky.
Peering over the edge, the figure could see them; the innocent people of Kuoh, those who'd been plagued by a great darkness. Plagued by evil. It'd become a festering hive of foul and villainous creatures, that which would pray on the people's good nature, their hopes and dreams and pull them from the righteous path.
Demons
But the figure would not stand for such injustice. Not while they still breathed. They'd slew hell's agents and free the populace from their secret tyranny. No one had to know what lay beneath the surface, what horrors walked among them. And when the evil existence was removed, she'd be gone. The unknown savior, an enigma of righteousness, the light that vanquished the shadows themselves!
Like a real super hero!
"Chun chun bah dah, chun bah dahba~ Chun chun bah dah, chun bah dah~."
Another flash of lightning struck the skies. If one were to look up at that moment, they'd see the shimming ruby of the figures full plated body armor. Rising from her position, the figure drew forth their sword, a Japanese blade, the infamous katana, and twirled it in her hands.
"Irrinnnna~ Sentai~ Shiii~doo~ooooohhh~"
Twirling the blade one final time, the figure placed it on her shoulder and smiled to her-self. The once drizzle had started to stir. What was once a mild annoyance had become a moderate rainfall splashing against the armor and dripping off her cloak. But that didn't bother her. No. For the figure was far too long gone in her fantasy world of infinite justices and heroism.
[Hey, partner]
"Yes, Ddraig?" The figure perked up. It wasn't often that the Welsh Dragon spoke to her without being spoken to first.
[Justice and Heroics are fine and all] The imprisoned dragon whispered into her mind. [But how about we get out of the rain?]
"Ah," She expressed, taking notice of the newly arrived downpour for the first time. Lifting a gauntlet up she watched the rain splatter in her palm. "Yeah, let's go home Ddraig." De-materializing her sword and storing it in her gear, the figure left with a single swoosh of her cloak.
The vanquishing of evil would have to wait for another day.
Preferably when it was sunnier.
With a nice breeze.
…And maybe after a nap on the roof.
Life 1
When I was writing all the exposition this chapter, I was essentially thinking 'I am so full of shit'.
While I tried to grant some coherent understanding to lolmagic for demons, who apparently run off 'I think I can and thus lasers', It was a sort of slapped together thing that I'm not entirely happy about.
I think of everything I've planned out for the fic, Stray Man's my favorite character. If only for the sheer potential of funny I can produce with it. Originally it's section was going to be nothing more than a simple obstacle course, with Issei running through while having lasers shot at him by the Gremory's (And demonic bears on his heels). Then I started adding on more traps and conditions, then I thought 'Why not just make it a labyrinth then if I'm going that far'. Then I remembered that strong enough familiars could be their own dimension in this series and one thing led to another...
Let's just say I'm pleased with it.
The entire scene with Asia I wasn't particularly satisfied with, felt pretty forced, but eh. It had adorable toy boats in it. You all should be happy anyway.
Why yes, I did make Irina a hero of JUSHTISH. Why do you ask?
A final note, personal life with be hectic for the next few months, so I may or may not get another chapter out for awhile. Or maybe I will. Who knows?
till next time fic reader~