Video Games

Chapter 14

Lana Del Rey/Lizzy Grant

…..

It didn't matter if it was 6 in the morning. Or that he barely got any sleep last night. Here. With Marisol. In her home. With her generous family. The family that he wanted to be apart of. With her. Staring at the ceiling, he sat up grabbing the phone on the coffee table. His fingers itching to dial, he listened to the dial tone. No one would answer this early. But his heart still beat fast. Still expecting to hear his mother's light voice. But no one answered.

"You need to rest." Mare sat beside him on the couch as he laid his head in her lap. Feeling her cheeks redden. Folding her lips, rubbed his head gently.

"How long have you been awake?" His eyes closed at the wonderful sensation of her rubbing his head.

"Not that long. I was so worried about you." She quietly stated. Afraid to truly express herself.

"I'm a born survivor. So what does it feel like to be home for a little bit?" He looked up at her. Her beauty still amazed him.

"Different and yet the same. At least I don't want to throw up every hour. At least I am not having my withdrawals." She bit her lip. "And I can look in the mirror at myself. That is what I am most proud of myself about. It is like I finally found what I was looking for?"

"what's that?" The boy sat up listening intently.

"Self-awareness. Self-assurance. Faith in myself. That I am stronger than before. that I actually love myself. And that I don't have to hurt others to succeed. Caring for others doesn't make me weak. This is what I want to show others. Help others understand." She was under his surveillance as he touched her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm glad that you finally know that. And that you don't need modeling to make yourself feel pretty. It's like me with fighting. Winning them doesn't make me strong and stealing doesn't make me in control."

"Neither does sleeping with random men. I took joy in being taken advantage of. It made me feel loved oddly. Like someone wanted me around long enough. That for one moment, a guy chose me." He tried to slow his heart down. his eyes capturing hers as she began to shake a little.

"Everyone wants to be wanted and loved." He rubbed her arms as he sat up. Wondering if she was thinking what he was. How she was so close to him right now. How she was helping him so much with his life. how he didn't feel angry when he was around her. How she was so beautiful. And right now, he was dying to tell her something that he felt so deeply in his heart. "You deserve that Marisol." He could only say that as she nodded.

"You do to. I mean." She paused at his deep eyes. Her words stumbling. "You are actually realizing what a great strong man you are becoming. You are getting better at reading everyday. You are learning from Jordan's death." She bit her lip as he tilted her chin up with his thumb.

"You are too pretty." He began to shake as the model rubbed his arms. Concern in her eyes. "I don't know why you are so patient with me Mare. How you are able to still be here with me now."

"It's easy."

"How is it?"

"Because i.." She paused as she looked down. his eyes searching for hers again as he found them. Kissing her gently. Laying her down on the couch. Making sure his weight was not oppressive. Hoping her parents were still sleep. Making circles in her back as their lips collided. Pure electricity. He never felt this for anyone. His tongue in her mouth, they parted for air.

"I love you." Her eyes told him what he knew already. He just needed to hear it.

"I know." Mare smiled as she pecked his lips. "I love you too."

…

Laying her in the bed, George pulled the covers over her. Tired was an understatement. But this strong, beautiful woman deserved to be tired. She was the best thing he ever had. Adam was the best thing he had ever had. and now he had nothing. Kissing the woman on the forehead, he knew she would erupt if she knew his actions. But she needed this rest. And Adam needed his rest to. Away from his madness.

Looking at Audra one more time, his heart continued to shatter.

…..

Becky watched Katie and Bianca kiss Adam's forehead. The boy was still sleeping. Sitting beside him, she sipped her coffee as the couple looked at her concern. Gently touching her shoulder as she shook her head. For the last time, she was fine. But she knew the bags under her eyes told them other wise.

"Becky, you have to eat something." Bianca chastised as the twin continued to drink.

"Luke will bring me something back from the cafeteria."

"Becky. We are all concerned with Adam's livelihood. But you have to take care of yourself. He would want you to as well." The twin knew they were right, but nothing could take her away from him. especially since Audra was gone, she had to watch over him.

"I will be there in 10 minutes." She assured them as they could only nod.

Rubbing his hair, she looked at his handsome face. The boy who saw himself as less than a man, but if he only knew. He was the only one who deserved her. The only boy who was able to show all his sincerity in one day to her. She could never forget those eyes that lay hidden to her at the moment. His sweet voice that made her smile. Kissing his lips, she folded her lips at her prince. Like he would magically wake up. But there must have been some truth to the fairytale because his eyes began to open slowly.

"Adam…." She whispered as he looked at her. Her brown eyes were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And they did not deserve to look upon him. The abomination.

"Am I dead yet?" He could only muster as the strawberry blonde folded her arms. Anger rising.

"Don't joke like that." She warned as she avoided her eyes. Her presence was still unnerving to him. he wanted her so close and yet so far away.

"I know. Wishes aren't granted to everyone." He sat up. His sarcasm stinging her little bit. Doing her best to not cry.

"Adam….."She could only muster. Rubbing his hands in her hair.

"Becky…" He tried his hardest not to cry in front of her. But they wouldn't stop. Wiping his eyes, the girl impulsively joined him in the bed. Holding him.

"I'm not going anywhere Adam. I'm not like your dad. I am here now. If that is what you want." He could only hold her tight. The beautiful, caring girl who was everything he wanted. Yes he just met her. But how did he know this. Because of the look in her eyes for him. Listening to the song she was singing for him, he was hypnotized.

If she could take his pain, she would. They all would. Sitting back on the bed, he laid his head on her chest. Her heartbeat relaxing him. comforting him. laughing at the growl of her stomach. After everything he had been through in three days, he still found the strength to laugh.

"Go eat." His tone soft yet serious. Hating that he worried her so.

"I am not hungry."

"You are a bad liar. I am fine. Physically at least." He shrugged as he kissed her forehead. Both surprised at his forwardness. Shaking her head, she obeyed. Walking slowly to the door.

"Adam. By the way. It doesn't matter what your body says. It is your mind." She faced him as he slowly opened his mouth. Summoning up the courage to ask. Knowing she had the right to know this.

"Why haven't you asked me Becky?"

"Asked what?"

"How do I know I am boy? Why aren't you angry at me?" He wiped his tears away.

"Because Adam. I know you are a boy. You have to believe that." Walking back to him, she kissed his forehead again.

…

Winnie hugged the counselor. She didn't know what to expect when the young woman told her that they were at the hospital. And for once, she had to convince Gwen to not come. Katie didn't need more damage. Biting her lip, she saw the red head sit with the gorgeous curly haired brunette. And by the look in her eyes, she saw her too.

"Winnie." The red head could only say as the woman held her closely.

"I am here child." Bianca pulled out the chair for the caregiver. "Ellie thought this would be a good surprise for you. And since your friend is going through a lot, I hope you taking care of yourself."

"I am. I haven't relapsed" Katie stated as the woman held her hand. "Binx is really looking out for me." The two laced their fingers together.

"I see that." The woman smiled at the blushing brunette.

"We are taking care of each other." Bianca still felt shy under the woman's surveillance. "I've never met anyone else like her." She blushed as the jock grazed her hand with her thumb.

"Nor has she met anyone like you.. you two have nothing to be shy of. I have always known Katie. Always. I was just realizing you would realize for yourself. I was afraid that you would hate yourself more for it though. I just hate how I can't shield you from this world."

"Winnie. You have given me the world. You are my real mother. I don't care about Gwen. Or what she thinks. She has never been there for me like you have…"

"But I know you do dear. And I know you want to be apart of her life. You don't have to pretend with me. You don't have to be strong all the time. You should not be ashamed to be human. A daughter naturally wants to be with her mother."

"So when will it be….." The jock could only ask.

"She postponed it until further notice."

"That's good." Binx interjected. "I mean that is the first sign that she cares for you. That she is attempting to make amends."

The grey woman hoped the child knew how lucky she was to have this strong girl in her life. who had been through hell and still saw the good in it. Looking at the two together, she smiled at them.

"Will mom be uncomfortable with us together?"

"I can honestly say that I don't care. And neither should you. You two make a beautiful couple. And if no one else can see that. then at least you know that I can." The two girls hugged the grey woman.

…

The daughter looked at her father begin to work. Who would have ever guessed that the muscular man loved to cook. Looking at the eggs and various vegetables, Mare's mouth nearly watered. Ellie defiantly would be proud of her for actually wanting to eat. And she was proud of herself. watching her father cut the tomatoes and bell peppers as she and Dallas sat at the kitchen counter.

"I didn't realize how much I missed this." She thought of the millions of times she pretended to eat as he father cooked for her.

"good to hear." The father began to slice onions. "So Dallas? What do you want to in your omelet?"

"Everything." He eyed the bacon and sausage Paula put on the counter.

"Well you are welcome anytime. And feel free to use the phone at any hour." Dallas folded his lips. "It's alright. When you were in the shower, Camille called back. They will be here in a little bit." The boy's face saddened.

"I just don't know what to say to them when I see them? Right now, I am calm, but when I see their faces, I may explode. I don't want to do that, but sometimes when I get mad I say things I don't mean. I don't want to push them back even more."

"Do you want us with you?" Jordan asked the boy as he shrugged. He wanted to prove to this man that he strong enough. Not only for himself but for Marisol. "I know we started off awkwardly but you two have to remember that parents are the adults. We are the ones who are supposed to protect you. It is alright to be scared to see them by yourself."

"Please?" He could only say as the man nodded handing his daughter the knife. Blushing as Mike watched her. Hours ago, they admitted their hearts to one another. And they both didn't regret it. Not one bit.

"Want to help?" She asked as the boy joined her side as she showed him how to cut. The parents watched their happy daughter.

"Sure." He imitated her movement as she snickered. "Is there nothing you can't teach?"

"Is there nothing you can't learn?" He nudged her gently as they laughed.

…

She thought he was a guy. She knew he was a guy. She was making him have faith in this world again. But was it enough to kill this bitterness in his heart. This void he knew that would be forever there. Were his friends strong enough to not let him go? With Luke at his side, he figured they must have been. For once he saw the family resemblance between them. They would do everything in their power to protect a friend.

"You're sister is the most stubborn girl I know." He looked at the reformed asshole. Both boys laughing at the truth.

"That is Becks for ya'." He announced knowing the connection between the two. Grateful that Becky finding joy. Grateful that she was living. Grateful that Adam was the one she had chosen. But the eyes of the quiet boy told him he was waiting for something to come. Something to be said.

"What is it?" Luke saw the boy's hesitation.

"So now that it is just you and me. Let me have it." The quiet boy saw the boy's face jerk.

"What do you mean?" The twin asked to rhetorical question. This wasn't the right place to speak. He was still recovering. Since when did he become compassionate for other's feelings.

"Luke you are the only person here who I count on to be honest. No matter how it sounds. Just tell me. I already know. I have had this conversation with myself in my dreams and to myself."

"Adam I don't…." The athlete paused himself.

"Luke cut the bullshit. I don't need a friend. I need something real now." The seriousness in his eyes told Luke he was ready.

'That was fuckin stupid what you did. You didn't think about us at all. How we would change without you here. And not only that, you didn't tell us the truth. After hours of counseling. All the things I shared about my parents and you couldn't tell us that. I am supposed to be the selfish one not you."

"but how was I supposed to know how you would react." Adam said with defeat.

"It's called trust. I know how others acted in your past but this is different. This place is supposed to change us. Not keep us the same way. I know I have no idea what you have gone through, but I just hate how you didn't trust me. and I hate it how I didn't deserve your trust."

"No Luke it had nothing to do with you. Or any of you. This was all about what I wanted to do. I use to think that I would never let anything bring me to this point. And now I am here. I should know by now death wouldn't just happen to me but the people around me. and I can never forgive myself for putting us through that. "

"Adam I forgive you without question, just like everyone else. But I hope you know how important you are to us. That I am never going to change. Neither will the rest of us."

"So you say. But what will happen when I am not the boy who attempted to drown himself. What will it be like when I become Adam the freak. The girl who doesn't know if he wants to be a boy or girl."

"Adam…."

"Don t patronize me. right now I am your friend, but could you be my friend outside of here? Could you seriously see me hanging out wit your friends? Around Becky. See us kissing and not think that that is really two girls."

"Shut up Adam….you know what. I understand why you feel what you feel. And you have good reason to, but you don't give us enough credit either. Everyone here has something they are ashamed of. But instead of running away from it, we face it head on. And that is what you do Adam. Face this. I know you care for my sister. And she for you, but stay away from her if you are going to say these stupid things to her." Luke glared at the boy as his twin overheard their conversation from the hallway. Biting her lip, she began to question herself. If she couldn't save her father, what if she couldn't save Adam?

…

Camille could only keep her eyes straight as her husband put the address in his GPS system. How could they have not told him this? Their son lost one of the most important people in his life and they disregarded him like trash. Her eyes on the road, Michael held her hand. Squeezing it gently.

"We did the right thing." He pleaded with her.

"For who though. Us or him? He has changed so much. I want to change with our son too. He was supposed to find out with us. Not at some hospital. " She said with defeat. "I mean when he sees us, he is going to hate us. And he should. We should have thought of him finding out…..all the possibilities." Michael knew he was right.

"What's done is done Camille. We can't change what is. I'm just glad that Marisol and her family were with him to help."

"But that is the thing. Everyone has been able to help our son but us. I feel so useless. I can't help it. It's like I don't even know what is best for my son. I want to be a good parent. Don't you?"

"You know I do baby." He agreed with her. "But I am not going to let you beat yourself up. We both made mistakes. Whether intentional or not. But we need to learn from them. And stand together." he continued to drive.

"Do you think he is really serious about Marisol?" Michael only nodded as his love.

"What do you think? The woman analyzed her own question.

"I think he does. I noticed he is very protective of her. She's a gorgeous girl, but it is more than her looks. She's different than the other girls he has snuck in and out of our house." The two laughed. "But he is your son. Remember how you were like in high school."

"But it took a strong woman to make me change." He looked at her as he stopped at the light.

"Damn right." The parents laughed hoping they were strong enough to handle this.

….

Bianca still felt shy around the woman. She wanted to prove to her and herself that she wouldn't mess her and Katie up. That for once she cherished this relationship. This was the first thing she held value in. feeling the grey woman hold her hand, she was forced to look in the woman's eyes. And she saw the love she had for the jock.

She hoped this woman would love her too.

"How are you child?" The grew woman asked the rebel as she eyed her love go back to the salad bar.

"Good. I have to be good. I have to be strong." She shrugged under the woman's eyes.

"Because you are so used to being forced to be strong. And to take care of the yourself." The woman finished for her.

"I just. I guess I am still curious about you. I just wish I knew what you thought about me. what Gwen thinks about me. and that I know she treats Katie like shit. I mean like crap. I just wish I knew. I just want to be close to the people who are close to Katie."

"I understand child. As do i. and somehow you have slipped into her heart." Winnie saw the girl blush.

"You just love her unconditionally. Her and her mother. How do you do it?" the teen inquired.

"I must tell you that It was not simple for me. To love others or myself at one part of my life. In your eyes I am this 60 year old maid but my life was nothing different from yours." The girl's eyes glowed at the revelation.

"Full of beatings. My mother was an alcoholic who had boyfriend who constantly put her in the hospital. "The woman paused as she reminisced. "No matter how many times or how severe the beatings got, she went back to him until she couldn't wake up anymore. Then it was foster home after foster home."

"I didn't know." Bianca realized everyone had a past.

"Because I learned that I can't be the victim anymore. It wouldn't be fair to myself. I didn't want to be like my mom. I knew she wanted to love me but she didn't know how tp. She couldn't help herself so how could she help me. I spent a lifetime being angry at her for it, but I had to let it go to survive." The rebel nodded.

"Katie never told me this."

"Because Katie still tries to save those around her. Despite how terrible she feels, She will go out of the way to make others feel good about themselves."

"That's why I love her." She blushed as the words escaped her lips. Why did she just say that. "because she is the exact opposite of my mother. Who keeps calling Ellie. And apparently she will be coming to the camp everyday until I speak to her. But at least my probation officer will be there with her."

"I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don't. but don't worry I wont tell Katie." The woman winked as the girl could only nod as Katie joined them once again with the big salad on her plate. Eggs, tomato, cheese, cucumber, and turkey, Bianca could only snicker at her love.

"Want some?" The red head placed the lettuce on her fork as she fed her love. She would forever enjoy these simple pleasures. There was nothing like being around the two most important people in your life.

…..

Adam couldn't believe what the sweet girl had told him. she would be at his side. They could help each other. Learn from each other. Becky waited for the boy to register her words. She laughed as she saw a smile form on his lips. And he wiped the tears from eyes as Luke rolled his eyes at the two.

"Are you really coming back to the camp?" Adam looked at the gorgeous blonde who only nodded as she squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. It is where I need to be. I have so many issues its ridiculous." Luke watched the two laugh. It was nice to see his baby sister not worried about being the awful daughter.

"don't we all." Adam folded his lips as the twin noticed.

"You still don't feel comfortable around me." biting her lip, she understood. "It's alright, you have been through a lot. I won't be sensitive abput it."

"Becky. It has nothing to do with you. I swear. One thing I can say is that I like you for being sensitive." Adam could only assure her with this.

"This is girl who cries during the Lion King." Luke interjected. Doing his best to lighten the mood he hoped his words didn't push his friend over the edge again, but at least he knew he had them.

"Everyone cried when Mufasa died." Adam did his best to make the girl feel as if her attempts weren't futile.

"Even Dallas." Becky looked at her brother for the comment. Adam had enough to worry about. She didn't want him to notice that the two were gone.

"Where is Mike?" the quiet boy realized he was gone. "Wait. Where is Marisol?" He looked at the two avoid his eyes as he waited.

"Come on. Tell me. I was going to notice eventually. Where are they?"

"Sorry that you are sharing the spotlight with them, but they…."Luke began.

"they ran off…."Adam finished the sentence as they could only nod. "That is so badass, to be honest I would think that it would be Bianca and Katie before them."

"Its not that simple though. Mike's friend died. And he feels as if he lost limb. I mean Mare went with him to keep him safe, but can she?" Becky asked.

"What do you mean?" Luke asked. "If anyone can keep Dallas from insanity it is her."

"but what about her insanity? I mean with her withdrawal symptoms and everything else. I guess I don't want more harm than good done." She shrugged.

"I guess we will just have to wait. I just hate how I have a couple of more days here." Adam stated. "being closer to dad in the city. I just can't right now."

"But eventually you are going to."

"Becky listen to me. nothing will ever make me talk to him again. I'm sorry it is not what you want to hear, but it is true." The twins could only accept his words for now.

…

Marisol wanted to hold his hand, but she didn't know how both of their parents would take their relationship. Holding her breath, the two teens sat on the couch as his parents sat on the other sofa. Facing him. Their eyes mirroring their pain at the situation at hand.

He couldn't do this. He could fight. And steal. And yet he couldn't talk to his parents about this. It was as if they were back at step one. Folding his lips, he grasped Mare's hand. He needed her their with him. he insisted. Which was why she stayed as her parents went to the other room to give them privacy. Opening his mouth, he watched his mother avoid his eyes. They knew they were wrong. And they were expecting him to yell at them. Even the look in his dad's eyes hurt him.

"I just can't believe Jordan is dead." Mike looked at them. Tears in his eyes. "Why couldn't you call despite what you were afraid I would do. Or you could have sent a letter. You knew I would have let someone read it for me." He voice was hoarse from defeat. And tears.

"Because son." Michael began. "when you become a parent, you have to…." Looking at his child who had all of his characteristics and facial features.

"Don't give me that dad. Just cut the bull." He stood up as he watched their faces "Was it because you were happy he was dead. I chose to make those decisions. It had nothing to do with him. I am my own person. I didn't even go to his funeral." His voice raised as he didn't let go of his love's hand.

"We know that." Camille stated. "You cant possibly believe we would want a child dead."

"I really don't know what to expect anymore. You two didn't trust me. I bet you to didn't even go to his funeral. And if you did you probably did to make sure he was dead." Mike stiffened as Mare called his name. Calming him down. touching his shoulder as the boy did his best to keep himself in check.

"We did go to the funeral. It was an indescribable feeling. Tears and screams and yells. For their son. Who couldn't come back to them. We didn't want you to witness that. even if we didn't like Jordan we wanted you to keep the memories you had for him safe. We didn't want them to change." Camille was grateful the girl made him listen to them.

"Mike. You have to believe us. We do trust you. We don't want to go back to how we were. We don't. but you have to understand the position we were in. it seemed like keeping it from you was the less painful route. We were going to tell you. But when we saw you again. After all that time. You were so happy. We didn't want you were angry at the world."

"I know that. and as much as I want to hate you guys for doing this to me. I cant hate you. I just wish he were here. I wish he could have been with me. To meet my friends. To meet Ellie."

"she is a good counselor." The parents remembered her urgent call. "So good that she jeopardized her job for you."

"For all of us." Mare informed as she got quiet quickly. Their curious eyes on her still. Hoping they had no questions.

"Thank you Marisol for looking out for our son."

"No problem." She shrugged. "Helping him helps me to. We both learn from one another."

"How so?" Michael asked as Mike looked at his father with chastising eyes. That the father ignored.

"He teaches me to enjoy right now. And take care of myself. And I teach him how to not doubt himself. He has a good heart. I have never met anyone like him. the minute I met him, I knew he was someone special. He has a strong spirit." She blushed as her boyfriend kissed her forehead.

"Marisol is really special. Any girl who can teach me how to read is definitely worth having." He noticed their eyes widen at the revelation. "She was the one who tackled withdrawal symptoms and made me stop feeling sorry for myself. She has so much fight in her." Their fingers laced. "I really care for her. She taught me that there is still good in the world. And everyone makes mistakes." The teens looked at them.

"I know you haven't fully forgiven us for this, but thanks for understanding. It's inevitable son. And when you get married and have children. You will know what it is like to protect someone with all your heart." Michael stated.

"I think I already know." Camille noticed her son's eyes on the gorgeous chocolate girl. Finally, he was learning to live with his pain.