Previously: The group is captured by the Amazons who want Dean and Nia to mate and give them a human baby so the queen (the Alpha) can raise it and use it to get her back topside through the door. Since the Amazons don't have the means to restrain Cas, he plays along until the Shadows attack the village then frees Dean, Nia, and Benny. They are trying to figure out how to get out of the fence around the village when Emma shows up, claiming to want to help save her father and she leads them out past the Shadows by means of an underground tunnel. Cas worries Dean will get attached.
Author's note: I just want to explain a little something I don't think I made very clear in the last chapter. The Amazons in the episode Slash Girls did figure out Dean was a hunter before Sam killed Emma but here in Purgatory, the Amazon clan didn't know the male human they had was Dean Winchester. They actually didn't pay him much attention past using him for a sperm donor because they see no value in men at all and Cas never divulged his name or the fact that he was a hunter. They might know who Dean Winchester was and they definitely hate hunters, but they just didn't realize the guy they had was one. The only dead Amazon besides Emma who would recognize him was the one Sam shot in the hallway and she either wasn't there or didn't see their prisoner first-hand. I hope that makes things a little clearer :)
Chapter 11 – Second Chances
The bout with the Shadows had taken a toll on all four of Castiel's companions, this much was clear. Their faces were pale and each displayed its own version of a distraught expression. Even Benny looked unusually sad. Having never experienced it first-hand, Cas was not sure exactly what the after-effects of a Shadow attack, however brief, would be. From the reactions of his companions, he concluded there were definitely some emotional ramifications. It made sense, he decided, since sucking away at one's soul would surely expose raw emotions, tearing away one's natural defenses and leaving one vulnerable to intense feelings. They all moved in complete silence and he glanced down at Nia walking by his side just in time to catch a tear sliding down her cheek.
They pressed on, keeping up a harsh pace for as long as the two human staminas could take. The woods around the Amazon encampment were full of Shadows and Cas had to smite several more before the attacks stopped at dawn. The travelers pressed on through the day and the following night, trying to put as many miles between themselves and the no-doubt furious Amazon queen before her battle with the shadows ended and she turned her attention to retrieving her lost ticket back to the land of the living.
They finally stopped on the eve of the third night with Dean and Nia practically falling asleep before they hit the ground. Emma had been a quiet travel companion, keeping mostly to herself and speaking only with her father on their few very-short rest breaks. She was pleasant and polite and at least on the surface, seemed to lack the open hatred and the lust for killing that most creatures in Purgatory wore on their proverbial sleeves. Cas had no idea whether her aid was born of genuinely good intent or nefarious plotting and kept a close eye on her every move just in case.
He had to admit, she had been useful beyond their escape. She knew the territory, knew which trails were easier to traverse, which ones had more cover, and which ones could provide the best food for Dean and Nia. She explained what she knew of the door and its location and every detail corresponded with the information Benny had come by from the Centaur he had befriended three years ago. Emma was strong, stronger even than their resident vampire, and was quite proficient with a bow as well as a blade.
Her skill with weaponry did no good against the Shadows, however, who continued to plague the travelers at nights. The remnants of Castiel's angel powers were the only effective weapon against the non-corporeal enemy and camps with caves or three-sided shelters were soon being sought out so that he did not have to cover three-hundred and sixty degrees of attackable space around the group as they took turns sleeping. Even in the best of camps, the nights were tense because along with the usual monster attacks, the Shadows slithered in sporadically, trying their hardest to slip by the angel. Emma assured them the Shadow attacks would stop soon because even though not much was known about them, they reportedly remained strictly within a certain area of Purgatory that overlapped the Amazon's territory.
Emma opened up more as the days passed. She and Dean often walked side by side and Cas could see the hunter's growing fondness despite his daughter's monster heritage and murderous history. He had known Dean only a few short years but before arriving here in Purgatory, had inadvertently (okay, often intentionally) overheard many of his thoughts and had felt his baser emotions first-hand as they tended to emanate from him in powerful waves when the stakes were high. Cas had spent hundreds of hours reflecting on Dean and trying to unravel the mystery he often found his former charge to be. The angel may never understand the man's reasoning and he definitely didn't understand the countless movie references or his peculiar and somewhat disturbing affection for his automobile, but Cas believed despite that, he knew Dean well. Better than anyone else - with the obvious exception of Sam, who had the advantage of a shared childhood and an ability to relate. Cas certainly knew him well enough to know the hunter was dropping his guard and slowly allowing Emma to fill that void he had been carrying around since his young brother departed for college only to come back into Dean's life as a grown man, essentially leaving Dean childless. Dean may not be able to clearly identify or realize the extent of the yearning inside him – that need to parent, to have someone to guide and protect and devote himself to… but Cas had seen it.
His concern grew each day as they drew nearer and nearer to the valley where the door was reportedly located. Dean spent most of their down time with Emma at his side. She was tirelessly curious about his hunting life, movies and music (of which she had very little experience having lived only three days), but especially about Mary Winchester. She rarely asked about Sam and it became rapidly clear that her uncle had indeed been the one to kill her when Dean had hesitated.
Dean had hesitated. Having known her for only two minutes and facing her with a knife in her hand and a murderous glint in her eye, he had hesitated. Cas knew what family meant to Dean. He knew that Dean's notion of family went beyond shared isotopes on a DNA strand but he also knew it most certainly included that part too... blood relation. The deeper the bond Dean formed with Emma, the more devastating it would be when he had to leave her behind to a harsh eternity where she was alone and hunted by her own kind.
Cas wasn't certain where Benny stood on the matter of Emma but Nia's position was blatantly clear. In fact, she never failed to mention it at least three times a day. The woman was nothing if not honest. Dean's heartfelt plea for peace had quelled the rudest of Nia's remarks but the smaller woman never let her guard down or turned her back on the young Amazon warrior.
Sitting now on watch with only Nia for company, Cas listened to the even breathing of slumber drifting from the crevice behind them that was acting as their lodgings for the night. Nia had her arm linked in his and leaned against him, the slight frown on her face indicating she was lost in her thoughts.
"Do you trust her?" she blurted finally, keeping her voice low to not wake their three sleeping companions.
Cas knew she was referring to Emma. Nia may have been openly vocal about her lack of trust but so far but Cas had kept his misgivings to himself for Dean's sake. He still had much to learn about social customs but spending the better part of a year in a tight-knit group practicing human interactions had taught him a bit about tact.
He tilted his head and furrowed his brow but didn't answer right away.
Nia took his response as a 'no' and nodded her agreement. "Me neither. So why's she helping us?"
Cas released a slow exhale of breath in a sad-sounding sigh. He had his suspicions about the reason but had yet to voice them to Dean.
"I know Dean," he offered slowly. "I don't always understand him and he constantly surprises me but… when it comes to family, he is… predictable. He has an overwhelming sense of obligation. Emma is his family."
"No we're his family," Nia snorted. "Me, you, Benny and that brother topside that he never shuts up about. Emma's a monster."
"As is Benny," Cas pointed out.
"Benny's different."
"Why?" He arched a curious eyebrow. "What is different between him and Emma? You were quite eager to kill him for the first three months we traveled together, remember."
Her shoulder lifted in a small shrug against his side. "I was wrong."
"And what if we are wrong about Emma?"
"We're not. It's her monster nature to kill. And coz she's an Amazon, mostly to kill her father." Her plump lips drew into a tight line. "If she tries to hurt Dean, I'll hack her into a million pieces like I did to Luthor," she added.
Cas couldn't suppress a smile at the ferocity in her voice. "I will not let Emma hurt Dean," he assured her.
Nia was not appeased and her frown remained. "So what is she after?" she asked again, trusting Cas to have the answer.
Cas decided to come clean about his fears. He felt incredibly at ease with this particular human and his first impulse was always to tell her the truth. "She is hoping he will take her through the door."
Nia tilted her head to peer up at him. "He can't. She'll die."
Cas remained silent, sorting his thoughts.
"She'll get old and die in less than a week unless she kills him," Nia continued. "Dean knows that."
The angel's shoulders slumped. "I know Dean," he repeated. "He is remarkable in many ways but has one weakness."
"Family?"
Cas nodded.
"But…but…he's not stupid." Nia's face expressed her confusion as much as her words. "I know I call him stupid but… he's not that stupid… He can't be."
It was clear she was putting the pieces together, formulating Cas's belief that Dean was being charmed and manipulated into a relationship which would inevitably end in him sacrificing his life for his daughter's. Her mouth dropped open in a silent gasp.
"Emma saw an opportunity and she took it," Cas explained. "She betrayed her queen and stole the ticket through the door. In doing so, she cannot go back to her kind and the queen will never stop hunting her down for what she has done, even long after we are out of Purgatory. Dean knows this. He knows she is doomed here. And he believes he owes her for saving us."
The pair sat in heavy silence for a long minute.
"Are you going to kill her then?" Nia asked finally. "Just in case Dean gets stupid?"
Cas sighed again and nodded. "If it becomes necessary, I will."
"You want me to do it for you?" she offered brightly. "Coz I will… for you. You know, so you don't have it in between you and Dean."
The angel bit back a remark that Nia would be happy to chop Emma's head off for her own satisfaction and simply shook his head. "No. I will wait and see what happens."
He knew he would eventually have to approach the matter with Dean, to make sure the hunter wasn't contemplating the unthinkable scenario he and Nia were discussing, to prevent the undesirable option of having another betrayal hanging between them, weighing on the friendship he valued so dearly.
He broached the subject two days later, bluntly reminding Dean that if he took Emma through the door she would simply age out in a week unless she killed him – unless she chopped off his hands and feet and ate them.
As expected, Dean dismissed his concern. "I know that. Don't get your panties in a twist; she's just with us 'til we reach the door."
"You are becoming attached."
He got an eye roll with his response. "I've got it under control. God, you sound like Sammy."
Cas continued talking, expressing his remorse for the emotional turmoil Dean would surely experience when they left but pointing out that it was the only acceptable option.
Dean simply groaned but his expression grew darker, his facial muscles twitching with suppressed tension.
Cas kept pressing, not yet feeling assured by his friend's response. "My instincts tell me her intentions are not pure, Dean."
At that, Dean snapped at him. "Yeah? Well, last time you trusted your instincts Cas, mankind almost became Leviathan-chow and Sam had Lucifer frying his brain from the inside out!"
Cas flinched at the rebuke. "I thought you had forgiven me for my past mistakes."
"I have, Cas I have." Dean's voice softened a little and he rubbed a hand down over his face as if trying to wipe the tension away. "But that doesn't change what you did. That you were wrong. You just gotta learn to trust me, 'kay?"
Cas couldn't argue with that point. Not listening to Dean and not trusting him to know what was best had cost everyone dearly.
"Look, I know Emma's… a monster, okay? But she's still half human, half mine. I just want to get to know her a little while I can."
Perhaps Cas was wrong. He had yet to see Dean make a judgment error as grievous and costly as the ones both he and Sam had made. Perhaps he should trust the hunter would not do anything rash or… stupid.
~X~X~X~X~
A month passed. If Emma was pretending, her performance was flawless. She was sweet and thoughtful and a hard-working, contributing member of their group. Cas conceded that perhaps her intentions were pure but he didn't miss how protective Dean was becoming, how genuine his affection towards her was and Cas knew the danger that posed. If Dean decided to bring Emma home with them, the hunter would not forgive Cas if he stopped him. He began to see more and more that this could be the betrayal their friendship did not survive and his thoughts grew heavy as they drew closer to the valley with the door.
Nia on the other hand, never warmed up to the Amazon in their midst. Dean had to regularly break up verbal spats between the two young women and Cas could see the hunter's frustration with Nia. But the tiny human that held Cas's heart was simply being herself and Cas could not fault her for it. Nia called it like it she saw it and didn't hold back. It was one of the things Cas found most refreshing with her. He always knew where he stood and he never felt the confusion he often did among other humans with their sarcasm and bending of truths in the name of tact or manners.
Even more disturbingly, the Shadow attacks had not ceased. Despite being well out of their known territory, one or two - sometimes more - managed to find them almost every night.
The group pressed on and by the time they made camp, Cas figured they were no more than two days' travel from the elusive, mystical door to home. The angel was discussing the virtues of locusts with a disagreeing Benny while Nia sat cross-legged in the shade of the large rock formation they had chosen as camp, desperate to get out of the heat this part of Purgatory had surprised them with, a heat that remained even this late in the day.
Dean and Emma were off gathering fruit and water from a nearby stream for the evening meal. Cas suddenly interrupted his own lengthy explanation of the benefits the jagged edges of their hindmost legs offered the locusts to frown at the surrounding trees.
"What is it?" Benny questioned with a friendly smirk, looking decidedly grateful for the interruption. "You sense somethin', Dragonslayer? Are the feathers standin' up on the back of yer neck?"
Cas pulled his lips to one side in a feigned frown at both the tease and the nickname. "No, but it is dusk. Dean and Emma should be back by now."
As he rose to his feet he saw Benny's smile disappear and the vampire's hand tighten around his machete.
"They were headed down to that lil' river, right?" Benny demanded, already taking a step in that direction.
Cas turned, beckoning to Nia so he could follow. He could not leave her alone, not even for a minute. Not with nightfall just moments away and Shadows still finding them on a nightly basis.
"Cas!" Dean's prayer was sudden and full of panic. "Shado…"
"Dean!" he answered out loud, racing forward into the trees in the vague direction from which he sensed the prayer had originated. It had been cut-off before he could derive an exact location.
It had to be a shadow, he thought as he ran. Not only had Dean started to say the word but Dean's first instinct was always to fight himself, never to call for help. The fact that he had prayed to Cas could only mean it was the one foe they had encountered against which he was completely defenseless. If he couldn't touch it, he couldn't fight it.
He ran blindly, aware of the tell-tale sounds of Benny and Nia trying frantically to keep up with him. He strained his angel-heightened hearing for any noise that could help him locate Dean, although not expecting to hear anything because when shadows attacked, they immobilized and silenced their prey while draining them of their soul and leaving nothing but an empty husk.
He was surprised, therefore, when he heard Emma's shouts in the distance.
"Get off him!" she was shrieking, sounding more furious than anything else.
There must only be one Shadow and it had clearly latched onto Dean. Cas steered himself in the direction of Emma's cries and picked up his pace, allowing the urgency of the situation to justify leaving Nia and Benny behind him, unprotected with possible Shadows in the area.
He broke out of the treeline onto the pebbled banking of the river to see Emma swinging her weapon wildly at a Shadow. The black shape appeared to be retreating, gliding swiftly across the pebbles with Emma chasing it, her blade passing uselessly through its nothingness. A quick glance took in the image of Dean lying deathly still on the ground by the stream and Cas felt the sharp pain inside that he had recently identified as panicked fear of losing his closest friend.
He bolted after the fleeing Shadow but it was moving quickly. An alarmed gasp in Nia's voice brought his attention back to the scene behind him and he reluctantly let the Shadow disappear into the almost-dark. He turned back towards Dean and was sinking to one knee at his side by the time Nia and Benny had made it over to them.
Please don't let him be dead. Please!
Cas was surprised to find himself praying to his Father after all this time and from this God-forsaken place but didn't have time to ponder the act because the fingers he had splayed over Dean's chest were feeling life beneath them. Dean was alive!
The Shadow had not drained him fully. It had certainly taken something from the hunter but his soul was intact. His eyes were vacant and his skin pale and drawn, but he was breathing. Cas could not determine the extent of the damage but was hit with an overwhelming sense of relief that his friend still lived.
"Is he….?" Benny stammered from somewhere behind Cas.
Cas shook his head and pressed his fingertips to Dean's forehead, his mouth forming a tight line in renewed frustration at his lack of healing mojo. He would never get used to being so helpless.
Emma knelt down on the other side of Dean. She reached forward and shook him gently. "Dad?" No response. "Dad?" Cas watched her wave a hand in front of his face. "Dad?"
A whimper escaped the hunter and his body jerked. A low groan followed and his long lashes fluttered open and closed.
"Dad?" Emma had a fist wrapped in the front of his shirt and a relieved smile on her face.
Nia squatted down next to her while Benny hung back, hovering just behind them.
"Dean, you okay?" Nia whispered. "You got sucked!"
"I'm good," Dean croaked, waving both women away. "I'm good."
He rolled towards Cas, not touching him but leaning his cheek oddly close to his leg, hunching his shoulders in such a way the angel sensed he was seeking privacy or… shelter. Comfort.
Cas held a hand up to the others, indicating for them to back off. "We must get back to the camp," he said evenly. "It is dark. I cannot protect you all in the open and there may be more Shadows."
He helped Dean to his feet and started moving in the direction of the rock formation they had chosen for this night's camp. The hunter leaned heavily on him and Cas couldn't help find his behavior a little odd. Physically, he believed Dean could walk by himself but the hunter kept an arm around his shoulders, his fist wrapped tightly in Cas's tattered trench coat and his face hung low. He seemed… vulnerable. Needy.
Cas remained silent and gripped his friend tighter.
"What happened?" Benny demanded of Emma as they walked briskly through the trees.
"We had to come upstream because there was a Dilliper nest so we were running a little late but we thought we still had time," she gushed, sounding genuinely worried and apologetic. "But you know how quick dusk comes and goes so suddenly the sun's gone and there's the shadow. There was still a little light so we saw it like a split second before it jumped on Dad. He had a little warning but it didn't matter because you can't stop a Shadow."
On the contrary, Cas thought. That split second's warning had allowed a quick-thinking Dean to send his prayer.
He spared a glimpse at the face of the silent hunter hanging off his shoulder and was shocked to see wetness glistening in the tiny sliver of light the Purgatory night sky offered. A practical river of tears were streaming down his cheeks, overwhelming sadness pouring from his eyes. Dean must have sensed the scrutiny for he tilted his head farther downwards, not bothering to look where he was treading anymore and simply relying on Cas not to lead him astray. His grip tightened.
As Cas ran the disturbing scene back at the river through his mind, it suddenly occurred to him that the Shadow had been retreating when he had arrived. It had already pulled off Dean and started to flee before the threat of an angel had been known to it. He questioned Emma on his observation.
She shrugged. "I don't know," she said as she kept walking a few paces ahead. "I was swinging at it but it wouldn't get off him then it just rose up and started moving away. It wasn't anything I did." She threw her father a distraught glance. "I wish it was but it wasn't."
Deep creases appeared in the angel's forehead as he pondered what this could mean. Why would a Shadow let a fully-immobilized victim go? A human, nonetheless. Quite a sought-after prize…
That was it. The Shadows must know of the gate. Could they too be trying to use the humans to their benefit? Much like the Amazon Alpha had? He didn't know what the Shadows were, in all his millennia he had never come across them on Earth, but he had determined they fed on souls. He could see no reason they would not feed hungrily off the rare pure soul of a human helpless in their grasp until he was completely drained.
This could be problematic. Although vaguely reassuring that the Shadows would attempt to keep Dean and Nia alive if captured, with four members of his group completely defenseless against them, the threat they presented definitely rivaled that of the Leviathan. Fortunately, the Leviathan attacks had been few and far between since Cas had lost much of his mojo - their way of sniffing him out.
They reached the rock formation and Cas ducked to lead Dean into the most sheltered part of it. "Everybody inside," he ordered. "I shall stay out here on guard.
Dean shook his head and dug his heels in. "No," he whispered in Cas's ear. "I'll just stay out here with you, 'kay?"
He kept his head tucked into Cas's shoulder and even whispering, his voice was echoing with sadness. Cas nodded without looking at him and lowered him to the ground at the mouth of the shelter. "The rest of you, get inside," he said, his voice blank.
Dean was taking great care to avoid looking the others in the eye and if any of them noticed the tears, they kept it to themselves and obeyed Cas quietly, all three squeezing into the shelter of the rock formation and giving Dean his space.
Cas lowered himself to the ground in a sitting position by Dean and the two remained silent for a long time. Dean was hunched over with his face buried in his knees, the occasional shudder running the length of his spine and muffled sobs escaping him. Cas knew his friend was suffering the effects of Shadow stripping his soul bare and was touched that Dean had chosen him to trust the most, to allow to see him so vulnerable when he clearly wanted distance from the others. He was moved to know that the deep bond he had always felt with this particular human was in fact returned in kind, even after all Cas had done to test it.
They sat in close silence for a very long time. "Are you hungry?" Cas ventured after a couple of hours, worry finally overcoming his desire to not embarrass the emotionally guarded hunter. What if Dean's soul had been damaged after all?
Dean raised his head and the look on his face did nothing to quell Cas's fears. There were hints of embarrassment and shame but it was mostly a look of utter sadness. "What the Hell's wrong with me, Cas?" he rasped.
Cas tilted his head and gave him a sympathetic look but didn't answer before Dean was speaking again.
"It's like every second of grief and loss and sadness I've ever had is back and… smothering me. I… I can't shake it."
"It will pass," Cas assured him, sounding far more confident than he felt. "It is an after-effect of having your soul stripped and exposed by the Shadow. It seems they draw out the sadness. You remember the last time the four of you got attacked by them? This one had you longer, it is having a more profound effect on you."
He lifted a hand and placed it gently on Dean's shoulder. "I will stay with you until it passes, Dean. It is okay to cry."
If anything, his comment succeeded in embarrassing Dean further but the hunter managed a weak smile and Cas's worries about permanent damage started to fade. Dean even tried to make light of the situation with his trademark false bravado. "Cas, I swear, if you ever tell anybody about this, I'll tear you a new one."
"I understand," Cas said gravely, though he had no idea what new 'thing' Dean was going to tear. His response did earn him a half-hearted chuckle from Dean and silence fell upon them for a pause. "What does it feel like to cry?" the angel blurted, curious. "Does it relieve the sadness?"
Dean dried his cheeks with his sleeve, only to have new tears instantly replace those he wiped away. "Not really. No more than scratching relieves those damn itchy rashes hot redhead Ohio diner waitresses leave you with."
~X~X~X~X~
Dean finally fell asleep, lying back on the ground next to Cas with his jacket bunched up under his head. Cas remained where he was, his eyes keeping sharp watch on the surrounding tree line for any signs of Shadows. Strangely enough, none appeared.
At one point in the middle of the night, Nia stuck her head out and asked in a hushed voice if Dean was better. Cas assured her he would be fine and her head disappeared back into the shelter. A small smile tugged at his lips when two seconds later he heard her relaying the news to Benny. It occurred to him that Dean was the heart of their group, of their 'little family', much like Cas suspected he had been the heart of the Winchester family growing up. There was certainly an inexplicable appeal to the man, an effect he had on those around him that Dean alone didn't seem to notice.
Dean was still slow and sluggish and not quite back to himself by morning but the overwhelming sadness had subsided enough that he managed to pull his usual façade back on and pretend. He did an admirable job, participating in the banter and deflecting any prodding questions with his usual sarcastic wit. Cas could tell it was forced but was relieved nonetheless to see his friend smile and to hear him gripe about the green fruit and the hard ground and the uncomfortable heat this part of Purgatory offered.
As they set out on their daily travel, Cas explained his theory that the Shadows did not actually attempt to kill Dean yesterday but were instead just retrieving information from him. He told them it was his belief they had likely obtained enough of Dean's memories that they knew where the group was headed, that they knew about the door and were somehow looking to 'hitch a ride' topside for themselves as individuals or for a leader.
Nia snorted. "Nobody's getting a ride back with us except Benny," she stated firmly, giving Emma a pointed look. "Nobody. I'll make sure of that."
Subtlety was never one of Nia's virtues. Cas noticed Dean's mouth tighten and the way he averted his eyes at Nia's comment and decided quickly that another conversation was due.
He got his chance that afternoon when they stopped for a brief rest and lunch. He remained with Dean while Benny, Emma, and Nia headed off to scour for food, which had been growing more scarce of late.
"You still cannot bring Emma with us," he said bluntly, coming to stand in front of the hunter, who was perched on a large rock sharpening his blade.
Instead of denying it, this time Dean flitted his green eyes briefly towards the angel before averting them quickly in a manner that implied guilt. Cas knew then Dean had made up his mind to bring his daughter with him and sacrifice himself on the other side to allow her to live.
"Dean, no," he said, his voice coming out more sternly than intended. "I won't let you."
Dean's stare hardened. "It's not your decision, Cas."
"You are my friend. I will not let you die."
"She's my daughter!" Dean was on his feet now. "Her choices are to stay here and get hunted by her own kind and probably sucked dry by a Shadow - which is one of the most horrifying things I've ever experienced and considering where I've been, that's saying something - or come back topside and age out in a week and end up right back here still hunted by her kind. Or… " He shrugged a single shoulder. "Or I could give her a chance at a life. She doesn't want to join her bitch mom and the other Amazons. The way they treated her - she wants to be normal. She's just a kid for Christ's sake."
Cas shook his head, not swayed by Dean's passionate argument. "She is not just a kid."
"No, you're right. She's my kid."
"I cannot let you do this."
"You have no right to stop me." Anger was evident in Dean's words but he bit his tongue and rolled his shoulders in obvious effort to rein it in before continuing. "It'll be alright, Cas. I'm due for an early grave anyway, we both know that. Let me at least do something with my death. We'll be topside when I bite it. I'll go to heaven." He huffed out a poor attempt at a laugh. "You can even come visit me in my best memory recap."
"Dean, no." The angel's insides felt like they were tied up in knots.
"Cas, please," Dean fired back, "just let me do this."
"Benny and Nia will not stand for this. Especially Nia."
"They won't know it's happening 'til it's over. Don't tell them."
"What about Sam?" Cas knew nobody, not even Emma, would ever come before Sam in Dean's mind.
Dean's face sagged and a sadness like that the Shadow had inflicted him with showed in his expression once more. "I'll wait a few days before putting Emma back inside her body. That'll give me time to put my shit together. To find him, make sure he's alright, say my goodbyes."
Cas swallowed, realizing just how much thought Dean had put into this. "Dean, no," he repeated, at a loss for words.
"I'm not asking permission here. This is my right, my choice to make."
Cas shook his head again, refusing to agree to this unfathomable plan.
Dean's rising agitation was becoming more and more evident and he lashed out. "Don't you dare interfere, okay? After all the ways you screwed me over in the last couple of years, you are not gonna do it to me again. You owe me this."
Cas's next words of argument got caught in his throat. Dean was right. It was not his place to take this choice from his friend. Had he not been one third of Dean's 'Team Free Will', fighting for the right to make such a choice and not have fate or destiny or… or Castiel the Angel make it for you?
But this still felt so wrong. He knew it was his personal needs and wants influencing his position in this for he simply did not want to lose Dean. He was at a loss about what to do, what to say, how to react. This entire situation was so unjustly tragic.
His inner turmoil was interrupted by a panicked prayer from Nia. There were no words, just mumbles and fear.
"Nia is in trouble," he said, turning and running into the trees with a brief thought that he should stop letting any of his friends out of his sight. Naturally Dean was right behind him.
He heard Emma's voice before he caught sight of Nia. "I deserve to live too, you interfering little bitch," she was hissing hatefully. Cas ran out into in an area of tall hardwood trees surrounding a large pond with brown, murky waters and was shocked at what he saw. The young Amazon was crouched at the edge of the water with one fist wrapped in Nia's hair, holding her head down forcefully. Nia was thrashing wildly but Emma's far superior strength was keeping her face completely submerged in the water. "I'm not gonna let you stop him," she spat during the two seconds it took for Cas to reach her.
He slammed a fist into her side and Emma flew thirty feet through the air to slam hard against a tree. His attention was immediately diverted to a gasping Nia trying to lift her head and he hauled her up into a sitting position, dropping to his knees in the mud next to her to wrap his arms around her tiny frame.
Dean was already out of the trees, his head twisting back and forth between Emma and Nia. The look on his face was one of devastation and Cas felt a pang of sympathy for him through his overwhelming worry for Nia, who was still coughing and shivering and clinging to his trench coat.
"What did you do?" It was Dean who found his voice first and he aimed the accusation right at Emma.
"She attacked me first!" Emma cried, pointing.
Benny chose that moment to enter the scene but nobody even turned their heads at his arrival.
Dean turned to Nia. "Is that true?"
Nia shook her head, still breathless and leaning into Cas. "I turned and she's s-standing there with her bow drawn," she panted. "Sh-she shot me…" Cas was shocked when he looked down and noticed a dark blood stain on her left thigh, the jagged edge of a broken arrow protruding from its center. He immediately moved to tear the fabric of her pants open at that spot to examine the wound.
Nia kept on talking to Dean. "I moved but she still got me in the leg and then she came after m… ahh!" She cried out in pain when Cas unceremoniously yanked the stub of the arrow out and she paused to catch her breath and while he pressed a palm on the open wound.
"We fought," she continued finally through clenched teeth, waving a hand as if that explained the rest.
"She's lying!" Emma exclaimed, her expression suitably indignant. "You all know she hates me! She threatens me every day! She's lying!"
Dean closed his eyes for a long second before looking back to Emma. "In all the time I've known Nia, she's never lied," he said. "Not once."
"You're gonna believe a crazy chick over your own daughter?"
"She doesn't lie, Emma," Dean said, more sternly.
It was the truth. Nia said exactly what she was thinking, even when what she was thinking didn't make any coherent sense whatsoever to Dean and Benny, but she had never lied. Cas didn't put it past her to attack Emma – especially since she thought Dean might be at risk - but she would have admitted it openly afterwards and told Dean exactly why she did it.
It was apparent from the hurt expression on his face Dean knew this also. Cas could practically see the hunter's heart breaking and his own tightened painfully in response. How much more would this man be forced to endure?
Dean's voice was tight and his fists were now clenched at his sides. "Emma, leave."
Emma looked shocked. "But… Dad, I have nowhere to go."
"That's on you," Dean replied curtly.
The young Amazon's eyes sought out her father's and she gave him an imploring look. "Dad… you told me yesterday you would take me with you…"
"And I would have… Damnit, Emma I believed you! I believed all that crap about just wanting a normal human life. I gave you that chance but this –" he gestured towards Nia, "- this just proves you're… you're not human."
"I'm half human. Dad, please, by sending me away you're killing me," she pleaded.
Dean shook his head, looking stricken. "That's… you can't put that on me," he croaked.
"Dad, don't do this."
Cas frowned. She was really pushing the 'dad' point, rubbing it in Dean's face and tormenting him with it. The angel had his arms around Nia, holding her close with one hand pressed to the wound in her leg, and he didn't interfere. None of them did. This was between Dean and Emma now. The three onlookers remained silent as they watched the heartwrenching scene before them.
"I risked everything for you!" Emma cried.
Dean's voice was thick with hurt and disappointment. "And I was going to give up everything for you!" he fired back. "I was going to die for you."
"She wasn't going to let it happen!" She pointed to Nia. "She told me as much every single day. She would have interfered. I had no choice!" Cas wondered if she realized she was echoing the excuse she had used about trying to kill Dean topside, before Sam had killed her to save his brother.
Dean swallowed and shook his head, clearly not fooled this time. "I thought somehow your humanity had beaten the monster in you like Benny's did. I mean, you're half mine… I really thought you could be good."
"I am good!" Tears were now streaming down her cheeks and she stepped towards her father, reaching out a hand. "Please Dad, please! Don't send me away! Take me with you."
Dean stepped back, maintaining the distance. "Just go."
"Dad…" Emma sobbed, her lashes heavy with tears and the full lips she had inherited from her father trembling.
"Damnit, just go!" Dean snapped, his voice hoarse.
Emma's eyes flashed fierce, ever so quickly, far too quickly for Dean to have seen it but Cas knew right there and then that this was all a ploy. That she had intended to charm and manipulate Dean into sacrificing himself for her all along. He had no doubts she would have spared no remorse for her father's death once topside. In fact, she probably would have enjoyed it.
"Dean!" He barely had time for the warning cry to pass his lips before she was lunging. Swooping down as she charged forward to pick up Nia's lost blade from the mud and swinging it in a wide arc at Dean in one fluid movement. Dean did not have time to pull his own blade from the vines he used to holster it to his thigh or even to duck out of the way.
Benny's machete cut the swing short with a loud clang. She parried quickly and swung back at the vampire, their blades again clashing in mid-air. Her Amazon strength outmatched Benny's and he was thrown back onto his ass on the ground within seconds. Cas slid himself out as gently as he could with such speed from where he was still holding Nia, determined to reach the fight before the scimitar aiming at Benny's head found purchase. He wasn't liking his chances of getting there in time.
He stopped his mad dash short when he heard the distinct zing sound of steel slicing air and the crunch of bone. He watched as Emma's head dropped to the ground, followed slowly by her swaying decapitated body. Dean was standing behind her, blood dripping from the blade still gripped tightly in his hand.
There was a heavy silence during which Cas felt a new sensation, like there was a lump lodged in his throat. It crept over him while he watched the wave of emotions wash across his friend's features as Dean stared down at the daughter he had just killed.
"It is not your fault," Cas stated. Why was his throat so constricted and his voice so heavy?
Benny spoke up for the first time. "It was just her nature, brother. Amazons are born to kill their fathers."
Dean ran the back of his hand hastily across his cheek, leaving a tiny trail of wetness in its wake. His voice trembled slightly. "I thought she could be… she was still my family, you know?"
Nia spoke up, her words delivered softly yet unmistakably heartfelt. "We're your family, Dean."
The hunter managed a smile. "Ya, I know, Nee. I know."
~X~X~X~X~
A/N: Okay, rough chapter for Dean, I know. Next chapter has the Cas-Nia moment that never made it into this one, an explanation of the Shadows and what's going on there, and the final chaos at the gate. Who will make it through? Hope ya'll are still interested in finding out.