LEMON WARNING! I put it in capitals :)
"Neji, it's been four days!" Hinata sighed crossly, folding her arms as she watched her cousin sitting on his bed watching bad day time soaps, "You can't hide forever!"
"Please don't lay that down as a challenge, because I will happily accept," Neji snapped back, eating a fistful of grapes since Hinata had refused to let him have any more chocolate ice cream.
"You're being a girl about this," she rolled her eyes as he glared at her.
" –I just proved to the world that if Hyuuga Design falls through, I can make a hefty fortune as a stripper," he growled back, "I've seen the video; I was good!"
"Gaara sure liked it," she smirked and he glowered at her, his face flushing as he returned to his TV show in sulking silence, "Oh come on, Neji, I was just joking around…" She sat down on the bed with him, "Are you ever going to come out again?"
"No," he snapped, "I am going to sit here and wallow in my humiliation forever. Tell room service that I will be requiring ice cream."
"Neji –"
"Go away, Hinata; Jessica's about to tell her boyfriend, Brady that she's actually pregnant with his brother's baby!" Neji sniffed, turning up the TV so he could better ignore her. She just stomped her foot in annoyance.
"Order your own ice cream," she snapped, and stormed from the room to meet up with Kiba and Naruto.
Naruto, however, was in a situation that he didn't like one bit. He had been dragged by his mother into going shopping with Mikoto and Sasuke while Fugaku and Minato went golfing. Of course, he'd tried to say he wanted to go golfing, but of course, Kushina was having none of that; and so to the mall he was forced to venture.
The four of them were sitting in the food court; Sasuke and Naruto moodily picking at their food while their mothers ignored their sulking enemy sons. Finally, Kushina, sick of the glares the two were giving each other, held out a handful of coins and demanded that the two of them go play at the arcade. This was met by a, "the arcade mom? I'm eighteen" from Naruto and a sigh from Sasuke; but their mothers' stern glares sent them on their way despite the protests.
Sasuke paused at the air hockey table and gestured at it. Wordlessly, Naruto pushed some coins in and picked up the puck. For a few minutes there was only the sound of the puck hitting the walls of the table and the chorus of sirens and beeps from the machines around them. After what felt like an eternity, Naruto looked like he was saying something.
"What was that?" Sasuke scowled at him.
"…Sorry for pushing you into the pool," he muttered, loud enough to be heard. Sasuke was genuinely surprised; of all the things he had expected to hear from the blonde's mouth; an apology was not one of them.
"It's fine," he shrugged, "…Same here…" They both chuckled a little, and the air hockey began to get a little more competitive.
"Why'd you blow off Sakura?" Naruto inquired curiously.
"Not my type," Sasuke replied simply. The blonde's mouth fell open in astonishment.
"…What? She's got beautiful eyes, and those legs…and her skin…" he began to rant off.
" –Too female," the raven interrupted, and that cut Naruto's speech short immediately.
"You're gay?" he remarked in surprise, earning him a flat look from his opponent, "Oh. Wow. Then why were you buying her drinks."
"The look on your face was priceless," was Sasuke's response with a smug smirk.
"Bastard!" Naruto growled, and redoubled his efforts to win. Unfortunately, this resulted in him conceding several goals to Sasuke; causing the raven to win the game, "Rematch, you asshole!"
When their mothers came to pick them up from the arcade an hour later, they were yelling directions and insults at each other from a shooting game. Gleeful that their work was done, the two mothers grinned like cheeky schoolgirls and decided to reward themselves with a bit more shopping.
Back at the pool complex, Shikamaru had decided that this was really quite troublesome. Trust Kakashi to make him change jobs to being a pool waiter when the room service quietened down; the only orders kept on rolling in from the same room, ordering ice cream, cookie dough and a large amount of grapes.
The bastard, Kakashi himself, was over on the other side of the pool; being perfectly charming to the holiday-makers; none of them really knowing what kind of mischievous, conniving, scheming –
" –Are you going to stand there all day?" a familiar, annoyed voice remarked reproachfully from somewhere beneath him. Shikamaru blinked several times and looked down to discover that Temari was lying there on the sunbed in a sexy black bikini with her eyes closed and her hair down. He didn't respond for a moment; just looked her up and down; drinking in her perfect legs and figure; his eyes settling on her breasts, which he had almost seen once before…
"My face is up here," she remarked without moving; her eyes remaining closed, "I believe I ordered a drink."
"That you did," Shikamaru replied with a small sigh and another yawn, placing it down on the table beside her and getting a fairly good view of her chest from the angle he was at.
" –Stop staring," she snorted, "And maybe do your job instead of just standing around like a lazy asshole?" He straightened up, insulted, and skulked away in his normal slouch, cursing girls and their ability to practically see with their eyes closed. He managed to make it to the bar, which he promptly slipped behind and hid underneath, getting a strange look from Kankuro.
"My sister not bothering you, is she?" he smirked.
"Sister?"
"Temari –don't worry man, she's a bitch," Kankuro laughed.
"She's so troublesome," Shikamaru sighed heavily, "Cover for me, will you? I'm going to have a nap. And if Temari comes looking for me –"
"How do you know she'll come looking for you?"
" –Just a terrible, terrible feeling I have," he offered as an explanation, "Say I'm busy working. She won't believe it, but it might buy me time to get out of here. Don't let Kakashi find me." Kankuro just laughed and slipped a drink under the bar for the lazy teenager to enjoy while he slacked off.
Temari was just musing to herself about how annoying that Shikamaru guy was; every time she saw him around the resort he seemed to be having a nap or slacking off; heck, she'd even seen him taking a nap on one of the sunbeds the other day; with the tray of drinks in one hand! (If she hadn't been appalled by his lack of work ethic, she might've been impressed that he hadn't spilled anything.) And to make matters worse, every time she ordered something from room service; it was always him that brought it to her! He would always look at her with that tired, lazy-ass expression and say she was 'troublesome' and then leave with a yawn. It was infuriating. It was even more infuriating because he managed to make laziness look so damn good.
While the eldest Sabaku ranted in her mind, Itachi and Deidara shared some drinks at one of the picnic tables; both fully clothed since they didn't feel like swimming. Suddenly, someone planted themselves down beside the blonde, who instantly flinched away in annoyance.
"You? What are you doing here, yeah?" he snapped aggressively at Hidan, while Itachi sipped on his straw in amusement.
"Oh, I'm hurt," Hidan feigned wounded, "I was just hoping for a repeat performance…" He grinned seductively.
" –Fuck you, yeah," Deidara growled, sidling away from him, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Itachi and Hidan actually exchanged glances and Itachi laughed, "Itachi –this guy's pissing me off, yeah. What are you laughing about?"
"Um, Deidara; you made out with him at the Hawaiian party," oh how Itachi felt such glee at being able to inform his friend of this. Deidara's eyes widened in disbelief and then he shivered in pleasure as he felt lips against his neck, "Wow, Dei, you must've been pretty drunk…"
"…He remembers this," Hidan remarked mischievously, sucking hard against a patch of skin on the blonde's neck before tracing the remnants of a hickey nearby, "…And this…" Itachi grew even more amused at the sly grin on Hidan's face, "And maybe this –" He was cut off but a small squeal as he gripped Deidara's crotch tightly and ground his palm against where he knew the blonde's cock lay.
"We're in public!" Deidara hissed, feeling those lips moving across his throat and feeling hid breath hitch.
"…Then we best take this to your room before some of these fucking kids see something they shouldn't and I end up with another indecent exposure complaint," the older man whispered softly. Deidara stood with gritted teeth and stepped away from the picnic table, showing as much displeasure as he could; despite both Itachi and Hidan knowing that the blonde was eager as anything. Hidan, just to be cheeky, snuck up behind Deidara, and grabbed his hand; swinging it flamboyantly and giving Kisame the thumbs up.
"Hey, Kisame, I'm going to fucking go have sex now, okay?" he hollered across the pool, causing people to turn and stare at them in astonishment and horror. Kisame waved and roared with laughter and Deidara stalked off into the building with his head down, dragging the gleeful maniac behind him.
"If you weren't so fucking hot, I would be cutting off your dick and jamming it up your ass, yeah!" Deidara huffed angrily as he led Hidan to his room; hating his body for betraying how much he really did want the older man.
"…I know you like the sound of that second part," Hidan murmured lustfully in his ear; making him shiver in anticipation.
As soon as they were alone in the elevator, Hidan turned on the younger man and instantly wrapped him in a searing, brain-addling kiss. Deidara instantly responded, pressing his body up against Hidan's toned one and running a hand up under that shirt to touch those sculpted muscles that he craved. He barely made it to his navel before deciding on a different path and sinking his hand into the waistband of Hidan's pants, grabbing at his length and beginning to stroke it.
"I'm not fucking waiting until your room," Hidan snapped, pushing one of his hands down the back of Deidara's pants and hitting the emergency stop button with the other before returning to his ravaging of the blonde's mouth. He let himself thrust against him as he worked his hand lower, until two of his digits were circling Deidara's puckered entrance. He felt the muscles twitch in anticipation as his fingertips swirled around them.
He was a little surprised when he didn't even hear a gasp as he pushed his first digit inside the blonde. The muscles greedily ate up his finger; pulling it in deeper, so he forced in another. This time, Deidara groaned into the kiss, not breaking pace on his pumping of Hidan's cock.
"Bit of a cock-whore are you, blondie?" he smirked, pushing his fingers in deeper and being just a little satisfied with hearing the blonde groan a little. He ground his body up against the smaller man's and was excited to hear an already-needy moan after so little contact. He could feel Deidara's arousal against his, and estimated how long they had until maintenance arrived.
Not long enough.
"Knees," he commanded, unbuttoning his pants, and Deidara obeyed; with a small amount of pressing down on the top of his head from Hidan. The blonde took a deep breath as he pulled the slacks down to Hidan's ankles with his briefs and a huge erection sprang forth to meet him. He looked up at the older man in disbelief, but Hidan simply laid a hand on the back of his head and guided it forward. "…You're gonna have to be quick about it, blondie."
Deidara was well aware that they were in a public elevator, so instead of wasting time, he simply slid Hidan's cock deep into his mouth and gave a hard suck. Hidan let out a short breath as the blonde below him started bobbing his head, struggling to take in more each time. He could see those eyes looking up at him and watering slightly and smirked, pushing that head down even further onto his cock and groaning at the sensation. The blonde pressed the flat of his tongue against underside of his cock and he bucked his hips forward; almost choking him.
"That's…enough…" Hidan panted after he heard Deidara moan around his cock; the vibrations driving him wild. He dragged him to his feet and spun him around to face the wall, swiftly yanking down his shorts, "…Do you need…"
" –Do it…" Deidara whispered, stroking himself and closing his eyes; knowing the pain that was going to come with something so large entering him. Hidan, with his cock now slick with saliva, pumped his fingers into the blonde a few more times to stretch him and then placed the blunt head of his cock at Deidara's entrance, "I thought you were going to fuck –fuck!" he yelled out, his body snapping forward as he felt the older man push inside him in one sharp thrust. He panted heavily, blinking back tears as he felt strong hands grip his hips.
A few moments later, Deidara pushed backwards with need and almost immediately regretted doing so as Hidan took that as the signal to begin pounding into him rapidly.
Skin slapped against skin as Hidan thrust deep inside him at different angles, trying to quickly locate the bundle of nerves that would send Deidara wild. By chance, he happened to brush against it, and Deidara lurched forwards with a moan. Smirking, Hidan began to aim all of his thrusts in that exact spot, and relentlessly pounded into the blonde, enjoying the way he writhed and trembled each time his prostate was struck. The blonde, lost in the sensation of being stretched and filled; combined with the friction against his inner walls, grasped his own cock and began pumping it as rhythmically as he could with the distraction of being impaled so heavily. Doubling his force and speed to finish quickly, he yanked Deidara's hips back against his thrusts; penetrating him even deeper and sending him into a mass of moans and gasps as he rapidly approached orgasm.
Gaara was exiting his room for the first time in several days –due to having to remove any possibility that he would come across Neji; and was heading down the corridor towards the elevator when he saw that the emergency stop button was lit up. As he neared it, swearing and moaning were two of the audible noises that could be heard; and quite a bit of begging. The entire elevator sounded as though it was shaking.
Deciding that he had had enough mortification for a lifetime, a red-faced Gaara decided that the stairs were the correct option.
Itachi had finished his drink and was a little eager for another, now that his friend had run off with his horn-dog to go have wild sex that Deidara secretly enjoyed a lot of. With a sigh, he stood to venture back to the bar.
Kakashi had been lingering near the raven, waiting for this exact opportunity. Now, as said raven walked casually along the poolside; fully clothed, he couldn't help but give him a bit of a strong shove, so that he went sailing through the air and landed deep within the pool with an almighty splash.
"Kisame!" he hollered, waving over to the lifeguard, who did not look at all impressed, "Your future lover is drowning!" With a sigh and a facepalm, Kisame dove into the water and reached the struggling raven in a few strokes. He instantly hooked his arms under knees and back, bridal style, and using only his legs, swam the two of them to shallower water, where Kisame could stand.
"Am I dead?" Itachi coughed, spluttering out water as he opened his eyes to discover that his cheek and his hand were pressed against a very strong, very muscled blue chest. He looked up, wide-eyed to see that his rescuer was none other than sexy Kisame Hoshigaki; lifeguard extraordinaire.
"Maybe don't jump in in your clothes, next time?" he suggested with a toothy grin, although in Itachi's mind, he was really saying; you should take off your clothes. He just managed to nod a little and the blue giant chuckled and Kakashi began making wild, crude gestures with his hands from the background, "Well, since I've got you like this…" His left hand tightened on Itachi's upper thigh, " –And you're not going to run away…how about you repay me for saving your life by having dinner with me tonight?"
"What?" Itachi was so surprised that he wriggled and promptly fell from the lifeguard's arms, back into the water. Kisame sighed heavily and fished him out; brushing the hair out of his eyes for him.
"Itachi, I'm asking you on a date," he repeated; a little more bluntly this time.
"Oh." Kisame resisted the urge to burst out laughing again. Itachi was resisting the urge to ask Kisame to hold him underwater and never let him up. He'd never been so mortified; and he had lost his Uchiha composure!
"Seven-thirty? I'll meet you in the dining room?" Kisame offered to the blank stare of an Itachi wondering how to best kill everyone in sight that had seen his embarrassing fall(s) and his inability to respond to simple questions, "Got that?"
"Seven-thirty. Dining room. Got it," Itachi repeated back robotically, blinking himself out of his trance-like state, "What do I wear?"
"Preferably nothing…" he could've sworn the other man remark under his breath, " –Anything you like is fine." This time, Kisame really did start chuckling as he laid a hand on Itachi's shoulder and then hoisted himself out of the pool, "…You can get out of the pool now, Itachi…" Bystanders giggled, and the Uchiha glare was back! That was it; they were all going to die – and then he remembered that he had a date with Kisame. He was about to burst into a grin before realising that he had embarrassed himself enough in public for one day, and that Kisame was still in sight. He managed to drag himself out of the pool rather smoothly (in his opinion) and said a stiff, "I'll see you later then," which sounded perfectly distant and uncaring. And with that as his exiting line, he proceeded to squelch back up to the room he shared with Sasuke to change and decide what to wear for his date; whilst hiding from his mother the fact that he had a date.
Despite the fact that he was trying to be very Uchihan about this, he couldn't help but let a small smile dust his features as he headed back up to his room, and when he was sure he was completely alone in a hallway, allowed himself a brief fist pump and self-congratulations before a redhead rounded the corner as he was about to call the elevator.
"Don't do it," he advised in a serious tone, "I'm pretty sure there are people having sex in there."
Itachi could only snigger and speculate who the culprits might be; before annoyance took over in the knowledge that he now had to walk up to the third floor.
Poor Deidara. Or not-so-poor Deidara. And Itachi managed to hold it together long enough to agree to a date with the sexy lifeguard!