NOTE: Long chapter is long!
Chapter Eleven
"You have to give me the box if you want to talk about what's inside."
"No way, Doctor." Amy said as she held the box out of reach.
"What happened to trusting me?" The Doctor asked with an innocent smile.
"Just tell me how to open it."
"It's coded to me, it won't open for you."
Amy made a sound of frustration and begrudgingly handed over the black enamel box. Rory was doing his best to stay out of the situation and just be a casual observer. The Doctor took the box like a child receiving a Christmas present. He sat down cross legged on the floor of the main console room and put the box in his lap. Amy sat down in front of him and tugged on Rory's pant leg to get him to do so as well. The Doctor opened the box and peered inside. His initial excitement instantly turned to a look of exasperation.
"You are just like your mother." The Doctor sighed to himself.
"Doctor?" Amy asked confused. "What's inside?"
"A ransom note." The Doctor replied as he held up the journal page with Gallifreyan script.
"Isn't that how River writes to you?"
"Old High Gallifreyan." The Doctor nodded.
"So when you said that 'someone' left you something on Nezrine, what you really meant to say was River left you something." Amy said with a touch of ice in her tone.
"No sense in hiding in now, yes, River has been helping me collect the pieces I need. Although technically she didn't leave me anything this time around. So I almost got killed over a note."
"How did that Dalek get there?" Rory asked.
"Still working on that." The Doctor replied.
"I'm more curious about this whole 'Time Vortex Storm' keeping us from seeing our daughter," Amy said coldly "was that all a lie?"
"It was." The Doctor admitted freely.
"You knew I wanted to..." Amy stopped as she realized something. "Wait, if River has been helping you on these treasure hunts that means you've seen her since the Minyans."
"She happened to be on Abydos."
"And she didn't want to see me?" Amy asked hurt.
"No, I mean yes, I mean she did, but I..." The Doctor hesitated. "I told her you were on Earth."
"So you've been lying to both of us?"
"Yes."
When Amy raised her hand to strike the Doctor he just closed his eyes to peacefully accept her anger. Seeing that he wasn't even going to flinch cooled Amy's temper somewhat. Feeling more betrayed than anything else she managed to bring her hand down without actually lashing out physically. Sensing that she had changed her mind about striking him the Doctor opened his eyes and looked at her once more.
"Why are you lying to us?" Amy demanded.
"It's complicated."
"It doesn't have to be, Doctor. The truth is often so simple. You always say the First Rule is 'The Doctor lies', and I know that at times you need to lie, but more times than not I think you lie when the truth will do. I don't know what your excuse was this time but you had *no* right to keep me from my daughter."
"You're right."
"Then why did you?"
"Because I was afraid that you'd tell her what I did."
"Wha...I...I don't know what you're talking about..." Amy stuttered.
"Now who's lying?"
"Rory..." Amy growled.
"I didn't tell him anything." Rory said with his hands held up in a sign of surrender.
"I'm psychic, Amy." The Doctor explained. "I never invade your thoughts uninvited, but the memories from your time shared with Aleena in the Zero Room were so powerful that they transferred to me the moment I touched you. So I know everything. Through you I saw myself lose control, torture a ship of innocent people, and then purposefully stretch them out across time in a violent retribution for what they had done to me."
"You can't blame yourself for what you did."
"Of course I can, I just haven't decided yet if I should yet or not."
"What?"
"You've probably already chosen to forget most of what you saw, one of the blessings of being human. I've been going over and over it, there is so much that happened that doesn't make sense to me. I am still struggling to understand my own actions. Once I feel like I have proper grasp on what happened I will determine how it plays into my Lemkin Factor."
"Will you factor in the fact that you saved the Minyans in the end?" Amy asked hopefully.
"If the people I save never got to be part of the equation I wouldn't get very far." The Doctor replied with a sad smile.
Forgetting about the Doctor's injured shoulder Amy leaned forward and hugged the Doctor. Bitting down on his lower lip to keep quiet the Doctor just accepted the sudden affection despite the flare pain it caused. Rory gave him a concerned look but the Doctor shook his head slightly to let him know he didn't want to make a fuss. Amy pulled away and the Doctor quickly composed himself.
"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" Amy asked apologetically.
"No, I'm fine."
"How long did you think you could keep this up?" Amy asked, trying not to sound like she was demanding. "Why didn't you tell me you knew?"
"Would you want to talk about it if you were me?"
"No, but..."
"Why didn't you just tell me what you'd seen in the first place?" The Doctor asked with a knowing smile.
"Fine, you're right." Amy gave in. "I should have. I was going to ask River to remove the memory because I know she can do that. Wait...now that I think about it you can do that as well."
"I can."
"So why didn't you?"
"What?"
"If you were afraid that I would tell River what you had done, why not just erase the memory from me so that I couldn't tell her?"
"I would never tear a memory from someone unless their life was at stake because of it. It is painful, and dangerous, worst of all it is a slippery slope, Pond."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's too easy. Once you start solving your problems by erasing people's memories it becomes hard to stop."
"So...it's a lot like lying then?"
The Doctor took a breath to respond but found himself at a loss for words. Amy let him off the hook by getting to her feet and offering him her hand to help him up. The Doctor thought about Amy's wisdom for a few more seconds before accepting her offer and getting to his feet. Still sitting on the floor Rory reached out and took the note that was still sitting in the open box.
"What does this say?" Rory asked?"
"The bottom line are standard Space/Time coordinates." The Doctor answered.
"And the top line?"
"Oh...uh...yeah..." The Doctor flushed as he snatched the page away. "That's personal."
"Is River sending you love notes?" Amy chuckled.
"Something like that." The Doctor muttered uncomfortably as he stuffed the page in his pocket. "Let's just go."
"Go?" Rory asked confused. "Go where?"
"To get River of course." The Doctor said as he trotted over to the console. "And your daughter knows how to choose a good meeting spot!"
"Where are we going?" Amy asked with renewed excitement.
"Eylsiandia, the two thousand five hundred twenty second Wonder of the Universe! The main city is trimmed in gold and looks as though it was carved of the purest ivory, it wasn't of course, that would be unacceptable, can't have billions of elephants dying just to build a city. However it gleams and dazzles in the sun, and the flowers, oh Amy, the flowers of Eylsiandia. They pride themselves in their flowers, the streets are lined with them, they have endless fields devoted to their growth, there isn't even a balcony that doesn't over flow with them. The whole world smells of their perfume."
"I take it hay fever doesn't exist among the natives?" Rory asked as he joined them at the console.
"Never thought of that." The Doctor mused as he adjusted the switches and dials. "No, I guess not. At least no one has ever complained to me about it."
"I might." Amy said honestly.
"It will be worth it, trust me." The Doctor threw the last lever.
The TARDIS jumped into the Vortex and whisked them to Eylsiandia in mere moments and they landed with the usual noises. The Doctor went to the doors and waited for Rory and Amy to catch up. Amy knew from the smile that twitched across his lips that he was proud of the world that lay on the other side of the doors.
"Get ready for an unforgettable scent." The Doctor beamed.
The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors and the main chamber was instantly filled with the rich floral scent of Eylsiandia. Amy automatically closed her eyes to focus on the smell as she took in her first deep breath of the amazing odour. She had been afraid at first that the world was going to be over powering like stepping into a department store full of chemical perfumes. However the light warm breeze held a fresh honeysuckle, lavender, and rose that danced pleasantly in her air passages.
"Some worlds are beautiful to look at, others have something for the other senses as well." The Doctor noted. "Come along, Ponds."
The Doctor had parked the TARDIS on the outskirts of the gleaming ivory and gold city. As they walked through the bustling city Amy stared in wonder at the multitude of flowers that poured off of ever balcony and filled the pots that lined the streets. The natives themselves wore plain white with gold trim like the buildings and adorned their hair with flowers much like the buildings as well. Rory kept wrinkling his nose, from what he felt was a suffocating smell of roses.
"How are we going to find River in a whole city?" Rory asked.
"I suspect she'll be at the Palace." The Doctor replied.
"Of course."
The streets all seemed to converge towards the centre of the city. The centre palace was surrounded by a high white wall studded with alcoves that spilled more wild looking vines of bright flowers. Every twenty feet the wall was interrupted by a golden gate. The gates were open and everyone was free to walk in and out.
Inviting themselves into the large open palace the trio stopped for a moment to appreciate the grander of the front room that felt like it had been influenced by ancient Romans with its massive carved columns and high ceilings. The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again and leading them off to the right. Amy was about to ask him how he knew which way to go when she caught the sound of River's laughter herself.
After walking down a hallway pitted with alcoves they came to a sitting area that held a large marble balcony. Out on the balcony River was lounging on a backless couch with a small group of adoring young male natives. She had a shallow bowl of small fruit that looked somewhat like grapes but rounder and brighter purple. Tossing them one at a time into the air the men were holding some kind of contest as to who was best at catching them with their teeth without breaking them. River tossed another of the colourful fruits to one of her admirers who caught it, but he bit too hard and it broke open with a royal purple spray that lead to more laughter.
"Should I be jealous?" The Doctor ask as he stepped out on the balcony.
"Hello, Sweetie." River smiled as she looked up. "Catch."
The Doctor made no move to catch the fruit that River had tossed at him. The round fruit bounced harmlessly off his chest and fell to the floor.
"Hopeless." River sighed.
"River, what are you doing?"
"You're late," River accused as she waved the men away "I had to keep myself entertained."
"River?" Amy asked as she stepped out on the balcony.
River jumped up from the backless couch and threw her arms around Amy. River gasped sharply and jerked away from her mother and stared at the Doctor. Amy looked at them both in confusion.
"We'll talk about it later, River." The Doctor assured.
"Talk about what?" Amy asked.
"Nothing, Dear." River regained her composure and turned to embrace Rory. "It's so good to see you two."
The Doctor hung back and allowed the family some time to reunite. It didn't take long before Rory came and joined him by the balcony rail to give the two women a little space to catch up. They sat together on the couch and talked like school girls. They were careful not to talk about anything that might disrupt time, and yet they still found plenty to talk about.
Although it was bothering him the Doctor didn't dare muck with his shoulder in view of River. It was bad enough having Amy and Rory worrying about it, there was no need to bring River in on it as well. Eventually Amy and River seemed to slow down on their conversation. The Doctor took the chance and stepped in.
"Amy, can I borrow River for a little while?"
"Of course."
"The Palace is open to all, so you and Rory are free to explore." The Doctor informed as he offered River his hand. "We will meet you back here in an hour."
"Make it two." River corrected.
The Doctor gave River a confused look, but didn't argue. She took his hand and got to her feet. The Doctor allowed River to guide him through the palace since she knew this world better. He was surprised when she brought him into what appeared to be a guest bedroom. She closed and locked the door before she turned to him with a predatory smile.
"River?" The Doctor asked nervously.
River backed the Doctor up until he was against the bed. He tried to stop her as she stripped him of his jacket, but she was not easily dissuaded. The Doctor took a breath to protest but was interrupted by a surprisingly aggressive kiss. Before he could react she brought her hand up onto his injured shoulder. Instinctively jerking back the Doctor fell back on the bed and took River with him.
Landing hard on his back the Doctor arched his back in pain, a move that River easily mistook for him seeking to pressed his body against hers which encouraged her further. Concentrating on not being physically ill from the throbbing in his shoulder the Doctor was just grateful when River released him from the kiss and allowed him to breathe once again. She sat back on his hips and reached down to dig her fingers into the front of his shirt, she didn't tear the cloth but the look in her eyes told him that she had plans to. Unsure of how to react the Doctor froze as he stared up at her.
"Ri...River, what are you doing?"
"This is how this is going to work: if you want any hope of making good use of the two hours I got us away from my parents you're going to tell me what is going on."
"Have you absolutely lost your mind?" The Doctor asked in shocked confusion.
"No, I'm just using my power to get what I want."
"Are you...are you seriously trying to barter information for sex?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Because that's all you seem to want thes..." River stopped cold. She looked down and noticed that the Doctor was panting more in terror than passion. "...you're not enjoying this, are you?"
"Not really." The Doctor admitted. "Actually, not at all."
"You've gone all innocent on me again. I wasn't expecting that."
"What?"
"This is embarrassing." River forced a smile. "I'm so sorry."
River released her hold on the Doctor's shirt and crawled off his hip. She sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her arms over her stomach. The Doctor sat up and gently touched her shoulder to get her to look at him. When she turned to face him he flashed her his brightest smile to try and make her feel better. River smiled as well but turned away as her eyes stung with tears.
"River, are you okay?"
"Me? I'm fine. You're the one who was just molested."
"I'm tough, I can take it." The Doctor assured her with a light chuckle.
"I don't know what I was thinking."
"Neither do I, but I want you to know that you don't have to use your...um...feminine wiles to get me to talk, traditional torture works just fine."
"I miss this side of you." River smiled.
"This side?"
"Things between us have changed lately. It's been a lot of fun and very athletic, but it doesn't seem right. I'm worried about you."
"I haven't seen you in months."
"It may have been months for you, but I've seen you practically every night. However, now that you mention it, I honestly don't understand, your future seems to..."
"We really can't talk about that."
"You're right, spoilers." River agreed with a frustrated sigh. "What we do need to talk about are artifacts you've been wanting and what is in Amy's mind."
"It transferred to you the instant you touched her, didn't it? The scene of me wrecking retribution upon Aleena and the others for hurting me."
"It did, and more." River confirmed.
"I thought it might, it did the same thing to me."
"That memory can't be real, it just can't be." River said firmly. "That wasn't you, you would never act like that."
"I honestly don't know."
"I do."
"River, I know you want to think the best of me, but I suffered so much at the hands of the Minyans. I have no memory of the events myself, however I can't just dismiss what is in Amy mind as an illusion or a trick just because I don't want to believe it."
"There were children on that ship, Doctor. If the only way to punish the adults responsible for anything that happened to you involved harming children in anyway you would let them all go instead. I know that. I know it for a fact."
"If that's true then how did the Minyans end up stretched out across time? Why weren't they there when I dragged that ship five billion years into the past?"
"I don't have those answers."
"I need those answers. And I can't get them without that copper ring."
"What is that ring?" River asked in growing desperation. "It certainly isn't just the relic of the ceremonial award for the Tarick Holy Games from the Yestral System. In fact if I didn't know any better I'd say it was Gallifreyan in origin."
"It's the core of the Crown of Rassilon."
"Oh my God..." River breathed in horror. "Doctor, you're not doing what I think you're doing are you?"
"I have to."
"Doctor, no." River said firmly. "You can not rebuild the Matrix supercomputer. I won't let you. It's too dangerous."
"I already have, well, not me personally, but some very dear friends of mine." The Doctor admitted. "It is a *lot* bigger this time around, takes up almost the entire insides of a good sized planet."
"A planet?"
"Don't worry, I own it." The Doctor assured.
"Why are you doing this?"
"The Matrix was special, it could be entered and interacted with. It stored all the knowledge of the Time Lords, but it could also store memories like scenes from a movie that you could go into. I can use the Matrix to access all of my missing memories, reconstruct them, study them from every angle."
"Doctor, this is madness. Even if you had enough of the physical components to make the circuits you can't possibly have the code to run it. The Matrix was practically a living thing, a micro-universe, you would need a copy of the soul software."
"I have more than a copy of the software, I have a full back up copy of the entire Matrix, the knowledge, along with the memories and personalities of every soul it ever held."
"What? Where?"
"In my head."
"In your head? You have *got* to be kidding."
"No, it's all there, downloaded, compressed, and tucked away waiting for a computer powerful enough to hold it. I have the computer, I'm just missing one piece now."
"The Crown of Rassilon."
"Exactly."
The Doctor watched River as she thought over the information he had just given her. He had rediscovered the Matrix information in his mind while resting in the Zero Room. The white cube that he had tripped over in the library of his mind was the image his imagination had used to represent it. It had been downloaded into his memory shortly before the destruction of Gallifrey, but he had never really thought about it since then. River suddenly got to her feet and stepped away from the bed.
"No." River shook her head.
"No?"
"I don't believe you."
"You think I'm lying?"
"I think you're hiding something, something very important." River clarified. "You would not be going through all of this trouble just to study a lost memory, no matter how terrible that memory."
"I may have murdered an entire ship of people." The Doctor pointed out.
"Yes, but you fixed it, you brought them all back. You undid the time stretch, you even helped them with their Age Lock problem, gave them a new planet and a new start. What you are doing now is recklessly dangerous and not worth the 'rewards'. You might use the matrix to find these missing memories as a secondary, but it is not the real reason you're going to all this trouble."
"Rive..."
"I want the real reason or I am not handing over the Crown."
The Doctor was about to repeat the reason he had given River already, but he could tell that she wasn't going to believe it. Closing his eyes the Doctor bowed his head in weary defeat. Seeing that she had clearly upset him River came back over and sat on the bed next to him. The months of pain from the wound that wouldn't heal, the multiple attempts on his life from the unknown foe, and the stress of keeping Amy and Rory from River finally broke him down. He opened his eyes and tears slipped down his face.
"Doctor?"
"I've seen the future, River. I've seen the future...and it is haunting me."
"You see the future all the time."
"No, I *travel* to the future. This time I *saw* it. When I brought the Minyan ship back into its present I exposed myself to the Schism and I witnessed the future." The Doctor corrected. "And not just any future, my future...and if I know it, that means it can't change it, fore knowledge is dangerous. I've created a fixed point that I will never allow to happen, but since it is a fixed a point it must happen, but I know myself and I will never travel to that spot knowing what will happen there."
"A paradox."
"A powerful one."
"Doctor, you will not allow a paradox. You will face the fixed point and let it happe..."
"No!" The Doctor snarled as he jumped to his feet. "I *need* to remove the memory of what I saw and I can only trust the Matrix to do it. I simply can not let anyone inside my head to the degree that it would take to slice this away from me. With the Matrix I could do it myself, the Matrix stores Time Lord memories, I could leave it there, I could get rid of it, and if I could get rid of it, then it wouldn't have to happen."
River sat quietly for a moment while the Doctor paced anxiously. He winced as he brought his hands up to drag them through his hair. River hated seeing him fall apart, it usually meant that he was fighting between what he should do and what he wanted to do. Knowing that he feared his own death above all other things she had a good idea of what he had seen.
"I know what you saw and trust me you don't need to do all of this, even knowing what you know about it you'll find the courage to go."
"Never."
"Sweetie, I know you fear Trenzalore..."
"It's not Trenzalore that steals my courage, it's New York."
"New York?"
"I should have said that, I can't tell you more or else it will be written in stone." The Doctor stopped pacing and took River's hands in his own. "River, please, I need that Crown. My only hope of changing the future is to first forget that it ever happens."
"The Matrix is so powerful, and as much as I shouldn't say this your time line hasn't made much sense lately. Maybe this is how it star..."
"I don't care."
"Doctor..."
"Time can be rewritten, River, and I *will* rewrite what happens in New York."