Authors note: Hi everyone, so I hoped you liked the last chapter. Paul is OCC-it means out of character right? But I try to retain his usual hot-headedness. From here on out the chapters are going to be slightly longer. Oh yeah I shoul explain when I said that vamp's had a heartbeat, their heart starts to beat when they meet their mate. –corny?- and Wolves still imprint.
In Paul's POV
Smooth jazzy tunes soothed me as we drove away from the Cullen's residence to the lodge. Logan was driving again and he was upset, I could tell by the choice of music but I couldn't comment on it because I was shaking still, my breathing erratic as the thought of what I had learnt back there. It drove a truck right through me. I was freaking out they knew gods! How is that even possible? I know there's the only one that could have even thought to look for me.. but how did he find out? If he knew.. Why had he been silent all this time then? No he probably doesn't know I mean it's not like Uley would have told him. No.."
"They don't know puppy. Riley's was apologising for his part in the war and for your father's death. Please calm down cub" My Papa pleads with me softly. I frown. Was I that out of it I didn't even realize he was in the backseat with me? He looks at me and nods unhappily, reaching for me to pull me into in a one armed hug. Riley's part in the war? That catches my attention, without looking up, I mumble "What do you mean Riley's part in the war?" Papa looks down at me to catch my eye but I just stare into his white cashmere sweater.
" The Victorian war from what I saw in Jasper's and Riley's mind was how the two met." I looked at him confused What? He continued looking at me intently, I knew he was using his gift to calm the tidal waves of panic in my thoughts and instilling peaceful imagery and words there. I didn't mind because I knew I needed it and he nodded that he continue doing just that knowing that this would be a increasingly more frequent occurrence over the next few days. He continues a little sad smile on his lips. "Riley was Victoria's childe, she blackmailed him into supporting her cause, threatening to kill his family if he didn't obey her. Riley had tried to get Victoria's other childe to abandon her but she put a stop to that by letting the other newborns kill Riley's mother in front of him. Riley passive-resistance waned after that and he was in battle with the Cullens when he and Jasper's hearts started to beat." Well damn, what a way to find your one. Papa chuckled and a slightly relieved smile on his face now happy that he had distracted me from my earlier thoughts.
"Then what happened to the pixie girl? Alice?" I asked, I had thought that all the Cullens were mated.
Papa sighed " The Victorian war, was really a war, it left a lot of death in it's wake I can't discern how many from the pack because his mind is difficult to read being that he is a vampire but I know that Cullens named Alice and Esme died." He said a petulant frown on his face at not getting all the information he wanted. Whoa, mama vamp and pixie vamp are dead? Damn I hope that Bella girl was worth it. Never seemed to be to me, making Jacob run around like a love sick puppy, bitch was heartless the kid didn't stand a chance. Papa nodded seeming to agree. I quirked an eyebrow at him.
" The human girl betrayed them, Jasper's thoughts showed me that this Bella woman had led the Volturi to the coven ahead of time on the promise that she gain immortality and a place in the Volturi if she handed over the Cullens" Papa spoke with disgust in his voice. He'd always been a vampire sympathizer but dear gods even Logan hissed with disgust at the bitch's betrayal. Logan more because he hated traitors and the Volturi even more than that. Shit if the Cullens lost a few members.. how many had..could i have helped stop..
" Stop Paul, you know there was nothing you couldn't done. You know that. You were not in a condition to fight or help lead a pack into battle so stop that train of thought right there." Papa half pleaded, half-demanded, his wolf's papa protective instincts had been tested today for the first time in a long time and obviously he did not take lightly to his cub being upset so I decided to let the subject go and pushed it away and moved away from my Papa and slept on my side of the car.
I felt more than heard the car stop and my door open. I must have dozed for a few minutes because Logan was preparing to carry me out the car like you would a little puppy. He chuckled at me seeing the look of protest on my face.
"Paul don't let my amazingly youthful looks charm you, I'm a 107 years old, you'll always be a puppy to me. Now stop protesting, you're dead on your feet anyway. C'mon your Papa is making that homemade Italian bread I want to marry and smoked river trout, mussels with a turmeric and lemongrass broth" he says dreamily. Yeah Papa makes bread almost as good as Grandma. I sigh and nod allowing Logan to pick me up and cradle me, knowing that he would need it for a while. Jasper's attempt at using his gift on me freaked his wolf out a little bit more than he's used to and this was his wolf way of making sure I was okay. Over the years I had learnt to accept physical contact more and gotten used to the physical affection it was just part of pack life style. I blinked sleepily at my surroundings as Logan carried me up the small flight of wooden steps to the main house after locking the car. The building was a face brick building with wooden accents to it's face. Odd that the house was face brick since most around these parts were wooden due to the availability of wood in abundance but the owners of this house, obviously preferred something unique over affordability and it paid of the building was beautiful because it was different from the monotonous timber built what I could see craning my neck looking around the patio, it was a large double story house with a cosy home feel and kind of made me miss home a little. I sighed again.
Logan chuckled " Keep that up junior and you'll make sighing Professor Severus over there very proud." He chuckled as he opened the door.
" Oh shut up, Greyback" I shot back punching his arm lightly content to not move right now. I was so tired. Logan turned a couple of times towards the heavenly smell of dinner. That perked me up and my stomach growled lightly, not eating on the plane, on the roadtrip or at the Cullens had finally gotten to me. Logan laughed as he dropped us on a comfortable couch. Papa's voice came from what I assumed was the kitchen area, I hadn't really gotten rid of the sleep in my eyes yet.
" Ahh, is Sleeping Beauty awake? Diner's done over here but I need help with setting up" Papa said.
I move away from Logan to stand up and help Papa, yawning out the last bit of drowsiness out of my eyes. Logan was so engrossed in the Sportschannel watching Canadiens versus the Maple leafs on the huge HD flat screen he didn't protest at my sudden movement. I followed the direction that my dad's voice came from.
" Don't worry I'll help you out Poodle, the monolithic throwback over there is glued to the TV screen" I said smiling at Papa's playfully thunderous expression as he turned to me. He was still wearing the same Cashmere sweater and formal black dress pants from earlier only thing different was the Kiss-The-Chief apron over it. There was an open wine bottle and the glass was already half empty. He was stirring something gently, the broth probably.
" You know you're not allowed to use that god awful name, cub. I'll never forgive Tatiana for it ever" he said shuddering.
I smirked. " Aww but it's cute Poodle" I said milking it by poorly imitating Aunt Tats's high pitched voice.
Papa shook his head and chuckled somewhat darkly at me " You know what will be cute? is you on dish duty for a week" he threatened lightly.
I grimaced gods I hated doing dishes. " Oh my what big teeth you have poodle" mocking him one time grinning when he tried to whack me with a wooden spoon but I moved away quickly.
" You're a little gremlin, just take the things on the counter there to the table" He instructed as he ladled out the broth into three individual pouring jars.
" Yes sir." I said and grabbed the lined up plates,bowls and cutlery, laying them out on the white cloth covered table. The table was a medium sized 6 seater which faced the TV but was still close to the kitchen. Once I had finished setting the table, I flopped into one of the chairs facing the window to the backyard though I couldn't see much because everything was covered in snow. I flipped open my phone and checked it. The screen lit up and a picture of Nancy, my dog came on screen. She was a cross breed between a wolf and a dog so sometimes when I phased she walked with me although for her it would be running. The pop-up came up and it read 5 messages and 4 missed calls. I opened it wondering who had tried to get a hold of me so badly, two calls and messages were from Grandma the worrywart. Three others from my friends Keegan and James who were flat –sitting my condo and taking care of Nancy, I replied to them both thanking them and instructing them to take care of my puppy. I texted Grandma promising to call him as I finished, Logan and Papa seated themselves. Logan so he was facing the TV behind me and Papa was seated at the head of the table.
" Oooh was that your lover boy Jamie?" Logan laughs as my cheeks heat-up. The fucker had been teasing me all day . " Yeah, he called an asked about my very available and gorgeous looking uncle" I replied. Logan grimaced then and shuddered. " Neveu we're about to eat, don't ruin my appetite" he says. I smirked Gotcha. Papa places the last pouring jug in front of himself and gestures for us to start eating. Logan moans as he puts a large piece of beard in his mouth, chomping on it greedily. "Honestly, Mala'Khai you have more skills in the kitchen than mama" He says
Papa 's mouth pulls up in self-satisfied smirk at the compliment; he hears it every time he bakes this bread. " Don't ever say that in front of her, you won't live to tell the tale." Logan's mother Mrs. Lauren Hunter owned a bakery to keep herself busy from the boredom of being a housewife and she would skin Logan alive if she ever heard him say that. The Hunters, The Trentons and The Meraz's were all very wealthy people, don't get me wrong I was never really piss poor myself because Joesph used to give me an allowance of $600 dollars per week and the groceries in the house were always stocked up because of his many female guests he had around. So I always had money do whatever I wanted but it was different with the Meraz's they were a whole different league. It took me some time to get used to all the added privileges but I was comfortable in it by now and dare say found it quite natural.
I started to eat and let out my own appreciative moan. Damn Pops you keep getting better at this I thought to him. He winked at me and continued spooning some vegetables in his mouth. Diner was relatively quite after that, each of us in our minds as we ate silently. So the pack had summoned me for the inevitable disciplinary hearing maybe? No it's been too long for them to pull that card but I know Joseph dying is just a front.. don't give a shit about the fucker, hope he burns in hell but what then.. why had they waited so long?.. Probably because they hadn't wanted to see my face, the face of a traitor and coward... It hurt to admit it but that's how it looked or maybe was but I just couldn't bring myself to admit it? All I knew was the heaviness of pain and guilt. The pain of what happened never leaving me, the pain of having abandoned..them... him.. The thought of having to speak about it again made me want to curl up in a ball and die, losing my appetite. I placed my cutlery down and was about to excuse myself from the table.
" Paul, you need to eat, you've barely eaten today and the day before that please just finish your food" Papa softly pleaded-demanded again.
Somewhat reluctantly, I pick up my cutlery gingerly and start to shuffle food down my mouth, not tasting it. I knew I was acting out of character since I usually devour what's in front of me but my thoughts about the next few days' events were off-putting.
"You don't have to go tomorrow Paul, you could have a few more days if you want" Papa offered , his liquid quicksilver eyes looking at me intently, I knew then we were in serious discussion that I really wasn't up for.
" No, Piere we'll go to the funeral tomorrow and see how it goes from there. The faster we get this done the sooner we leave." I reasoned spooning a bit of trout into my mouth.
" Are you sure Paul?" he asks his tone implying everything his words didn't. Was I sure I could face them.. him.. Was I ready to see my father's casket? Was I ready to be judged and sneered at? Was I ready to recount my reasons for leaving? Was I ready for them to force me to stay? Was I ready for my ancestral tribe to turn their back to me?
" I don't know, but I know it has to be done, we all know that Joseph's death is a convenient cover-up. And I have to stop running and prolonging the inevitable" I settled for honesty it was much easier with the two people that I trust most in the world.
" You know there was nothing you could have done Paul, you didn't abandon them, you know you could've have done anything" Logan echoed Papa's words from earlier in the car. I flinched as he mentioned Sam, he looked at me apologetically. They were both right but it didn't help what I was feeling though the guilt that I felt for having left them all just before battle. I hadn't given them a reason either and I know that Uley would have lied to cover his ass so I didn't comment because it was true and I really couldn't say anything to that. I finished my dinner suddenly really tired, the motions of the day just getting to me.
" Yeah well, thanks for dinner Pops, but I'm really tired so Bonne uuit mon uncle et Papa" I excused myself, picking up my plate and cutlery.
" Oui petit chien, you must be tired. Rest well you have a big day tomorrow" Papa bid me goodnight as he watched me leave the table.
" Bon neveu de nuit, beaux reves" Logan added.
I didn't know if it was possible for me to have sweet dreams tonight or even sleep. I ascended the stairs taking two at a time peering into each room until I found the room my bags were in. There were 5 rooms in total; 3 of them had their own ensuite bathroom. Which suited us perfectly; I saw my black leather Ralph Lauren bag and my smaller red Nike backpack. The room was cozy, spacious enough to avoid being suffocating but small enough to feel very homey , the country style theme so unlike my own room I had back home. I closed the oak wood door and tucked myself into the white Egyptian linen double sized bed after a quick shower and brushing my teeth. I put my phone on the charge and set my alarm. Yes tomorrow would be a big day indeed.
Thursday, 15 December 2016
It's so hot, really hot. I'm lying down somewhere; God has someone turned the heater on? I'm boiling alive, sweat dripping down my face, my arms my legs, my whole body is on fire and the pain is slow building, it hurts like someone has placed me in a furnace and placed the temperature up on a molecularly high level. I try to breathe properly but the air around me is suffocating. It's a slow burn from pinnacle of my head to tips of my toes devouring me. I try to open my eyes but there's clouded by the sweat pouring down my face like a waterfall.
Then a sudden musky yet sweet smell.. It stops momentarily but then the slowness of the burning is gone. It's faster now, incinerating my body, I try to struggle away from the fire but my body is unresponsive. I try to speak but the only sounds i'm making a hoarse screams. I can't move, I can't speak, I can't think. All I can do is feel. The pain is excruciating and suffocating, centred around the pit of my stomach and nether regions. I scream, feeling like a weight is being pressed on my chest struggling with it. I move my head to the side and all I see is darkness and shadows of a figure of a shaking man holding his stomach. Then I hear laughing cruel, shrill laughter. It's mocking I can hear but I can't think past the need to survive this suffocating weight and this internal, external inferno. Then I feel hands, unwanted hands touching me, WHO THE FUCK IS TOUCHING ME?, I struggle harder push at the hands " STOP FUCKING-
"PAUL !" Logan's voice sounds close but I can't process that I'm awake right now, the dream still so vivid behind my unopened eyelids but then it stops suddenly, no more imagery of myself struggling in the darkness or sound of shrill laughter. I open my eyes, gasping quick harsh breaths that I wasn't allowed in my dream. Logan's standing beside the bed looking scared and worried. His rugged features set in deep distress the way it used to look when I had nightmares all the time. I look at him confused and disorientated. What the fuck? How did it just stop? And then my mind clicked into action, Logan had been trying to wake me up from a nightmare and I guess I wouldn't wake up so he just shielded the nightmare from like he used to long ago. Papa's standing behind him, anguish on his face, I can see he wants to comfort me but he's not sure if he should.
" Neveu, Paul Are you okay?-" Logan begins
" Chiot s'il vous plait dire quelque chose nous sommes tellement inquiets pour toi..Are you okay cub?" my dad begs me.
I close my eyes and take in a long slow breath like Grandma taught me too, I smile mentally at the thought remembering with sad fondness how I couldn't accept what I had become and what happened to me. God me of all people a submissive.. I had said that's fucking impossible I had growled sure I was dying of a disease but Grandma Nicholas had told me to just keep breathing so that's what I do or at least try to but the air I breathe in is thick and toxic. I frown heavily as I open my eyes slowly" Je suis desole, Je vais bien." I say groggily exhaling slowly trying not to breathe in the air again. I rub my eyes in confusion deepening in me when they continue to look at me dubiously I can see the gears turning in Papa's mind. " I promise I'm fine" but obviously the episode had been worse than I thought because they both just looked at me incredulously.
"Paul you can't be serious, you burnt the bed" Logan says pointing at the ash and soot on my chest, my arms my body I blink looking at the damage. Shit. All that is left of the covers of the bed is ash and burnt pieces of what had been linen and the mattress's spring are exposed, the hole the size and outline of my hand where I had obviously touched. My brain now registers the smell of smoke and thick fumes. Well fuck! How did that even happen, it'd been forever since I had done this and it was only once anyway..
"Uhm, ... desole, je ne voulais pas, I don't know.." I trail off not having difficulty piecing the words together usually I felt it when I used my ability even when it was on emotional impulse I still could stop it, but as I wrack my brain, I had no recollection of being in control of my body.
" Cub, We're going home. The pack's Alpha and I can have a meeting but this is obviously hard for you and you shouldn't have to, you don't have to go-" Papa begins already in planning out how he'll help me.
" Oui puppy this is obviously hard for you and I can't take seeing you like this again" Logan agrees with him
I smile sadly at them, I know they wanted to save me from potential pain but I had to deal with this, getting up and brushing the soot off of me. I look at my Iphone 09:30. Ugh, only an 1hour and 30 minutes to get ready. Papa and Logan look to be in deep debate about what they should do, they had moved away from the bed and were standing at foot of the bed a frowns and looks of concern on their faces.
" You know I can't do that Papa, l'oncle" Looking at them both as I said their name. Papa sighs in frustration his usually immaculate hair, slightly dishevelled and sticking out where he ran his fingers through it. Logan nods but his jaw clenches in frustration as well but by the looks on their faces they both agree.
"Okay cub" he accepts still unhappy with the situation.
"If you want to help me feel better, you can make my favourite breakfast." I say at the same time my stomach growls.
Papa's frown twitches in amusement " Croissants or French toast?"
"Croissants"
"French Toast"
Logan and I say at the same time. He's smiling a little now but the worry hasn't left his face.
"Croissants it is then" Papa says and smiles at me, it comes out weaker than his genuine smile though and he leaves the room.
" He always takes your side" Logan grumbles petulantly.
I smirk as I move to the cupboard to get my bathroom cosmetics. " Yeah well you didn't ask and you're not his cub"
" whatever spoilt-brat " he says, he lingers though and I raise an eyebrow at him.
" You want a strip tease along with my earlier performance?"
Logan's face turn's from concerned to annoyed and lightly disgusted " God your disgusting brat" he says making haste to leave and closes the door behind him.
Shit, this day is not going to be good. But then again, it's not unexpected I flip the light switch on as I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the expansive mirror. There are light circles under my eyes. Jetlag. My face is dirty with soot like my chest which is covered in dark marks from where I had tried to dust the soot off. My hair is longer than usual and curls behind my ears with bits and pieces of the pillow. Damn this was bad. I don't try to think about it because I know it will just be counterproductive here. I clear my head and prepare myself for the day as I begin to wash my face.
Logan's playlist
Breathe- The Floacist
Georgia on my mind- Michael Buble
Del Fuego- Fat Freddy's drop
Sugar Sugar- Baby Bash featuring Frankie J
Wicked Games- The Weeknd
Translations:
Bonne uuit mon uncle et Papa- Good Night Uncle and Papa
Oui petit chien-Yes puppy
Bon neveu de nuit, beaux reves- Good Night Nephew, Sweet Dreams
Chiot s'il vous plait dire quelque chose nous sommes tellement inquiets pour toi – Puppy please say something we are so worried about you
Je suis desole, Je vais bien- I'm sorry, I'm fine
desole, je ne voulais pas- sorry i didn't mean to.
Footnote: Hi everyone I hope that you enjoyed that, I just wanted a little funny scence between the family before everything get's .. well.. you'll see how it gets' in the next chapter.