Hi! So is anyone actually still reading this? Please review or follow/favourite or PM me so that I know that I should continue if you are. Thank you! I left the last chapter on a bit of a cliffie didn't I? Heheheeheh well this chapter is by far my favorite so far. I don't know why but it was just extremely fun to write...

Disclaimer: would I really be writing fanfiction on a ferry if I owned either NCIS or Torchwood?

As I stare at the screen in front of me I refuse to believe it. I cannot believe it. If I am to stay sane I cannot believe it. He is there. Right there. The man I loved, the man I married, the man I thought I could never see again is right there in front of me. And pictures do not lie.

DiNozzo grabs my hand and I snatch it away.

"Take it away" I whisper the tears welling in my eyes "take it away"

"But Ziva it's evidence" Jack replies he uses my real name instead of that nickname as he knows how I feel.

"I do not care. Get it out of my sight and if you show that to Sarah I will personally hunt you down and kill you" I say and run to the bathroom.

I feel Tony try and run after me but I guess Jack grabs his arm or something similar to prevent him as nobody follows me.

I am alone.

I finally let the tears fall down my cheeks. My body starts shaking from the force of the tears and I slide down the wall my hands covering my face.

I remember.

8 years ago.

There is the usual banter in the hub as everyone gradually arrives from the morning coffee run. Nick and I are late as we have had to drop Sarah off with the nanny.

"Ah look the couple have finally arrived!" Jack shouts up at us "Sprog. Mr Sprog." He bows his head in mock recognition.

"I am going to go down to the lab" Nick announces and gives me a peck on the lips before he leaves.

"Morning Ziva"

"Good morning Ianto" I reply and sit down at my desk.

"Have you heard about that thing that Jack found the other day?"

"No. What was it?"

"I do not know. Some kind of thimble which can change the way that people see things?... I do not understand really but it sounds pretty cool!"

1 hour later

"Let's go" Jack walks across the bullpen summoning us all to follow him in his footsteps. He grabs his coat and I go grab Nick from downstairs.

"Hello?" I call into the lab

"Hi" a voice yells back "have we got a job?"

"Yes so get yourself over here so we can get going"

"I am coming" he turns the corner. His dark hair looking nearly black in the dim light from his desk lamp. A smile breaks on his face and I know what he's looking like that for. "When shall we tell them?"

"Later" I reply "after this job is over"

We leave the hub and join Jack and Ianto in the car. As we make our way to the scene something does not feel right. Something is wrong.

"Maybe I am just being paranoid" I tell myself "this job can do that to you!"

We arrive at the scene and soon all my fears disappear. It all looks normal (well as normal as a Torchwood case can get!). There is tape cordoning off the section of the scene which we will need. The body.

It hangs half in and half out of a manhole leading to the sewers way below us. It appears as if the poor person was trying to escape the sewers to get into freedom. Nick goes up to have a closer look and we follow him.

We are all stood directly behind him when all of a sudden out of nowhere. I begin to feel dizzy.

"Maybe it's just the smell" I reassure myself.

But then everyone else starts to sway and I know I am not the only one. The Purple Shoulder. Nick grabs my hand as I collapse. The last thing I see before I fall into a hazy sleep is a man who I know all too well placing a bag over my head.

I do not know how much time has passed once I open my eyes. The smell is what hits me first. The smell of sweat and fear. I open my eyes fully and let them adjust to the lack of light in the room. I can make out a person beside me. Jack. I can tell from the blue army coat that he always wears. He is in the same predicament as me. Tied to the ceiling by our wrists. Only the tips of our toes touching the floor. Agony. Suddenly fear rips through me.

Where is Nick?

Where is Ianto?

Are they even still alive?

Two men enter the room. They give me a stare and I spit at them.

"Why are you doing this to us?" I snarl "what have you done with the others?" The man slaps me around the face making it sting as if 1000 little flies are inside my cheek.

They only continue to stare at me and go to a door in the wall that I had not seen before. As they tug it open I catch a glimpse of Nick's face and I know deep down inside that this is the last time that I will see him. A single tear rolls down my cheek as the door closes once more. All Jack and I can hear are the torchured screams and wails of the two people we love being punched and kicked.

This continues for a very long time. A week? A month? Maybe.

Suddenly the screaming stops and we know. We know that they have died. We know that they will never leave this place and it makes us stronger. Gives us a reason to survive. For them.

Days pass, weeks pass, maybe. There is still no hope of a rescue. We are too weak to fight them.

Suddenly there is a single gunshot. A single yelp. A single cry for help.

Officers from Mossad run into the room guns drawn. We must look as bad as we feel as it takes the highly trained officers a second or two to realise who we are. Once they have realised the quickly take us down from our positions and carry us out of where they have been holding us for what was apparently two and a half months. The harsh sunlight burns my eyes and I have to shield them as we are lifted into two of the four ambulances waiting. Four. Only two ambulances were used that day.

After a thorough medical at the hospital I am discovered to be all-in-all in good condition. Malnourished and dehydrated but other than that fine until I ask the question I had to ask.

"How is the baby?"

"I am extremely sorry officer McKinley but there is no baby"

In that second all the world around me comes crashing down. Then Sarah runs into the room accompanied by Liat, a young pretty and capable officer who has been looking after Sarah whilst Nick and I were in that hell hole.

"Ima!" She runs and gives me a giant hug. I hold in the tears. I never cry in front of Sarah. Never. "Hello tetelah! I have missed you!"

"Ima?"

"Yes sweetheart?" I look deep into her watery eyes and all I can see is her father.

"Where is papa?" She asks so innocently.

"Papa is-" I choke "Papa is in the sky. You will see him again but not for a very very long time"

She starts crying and I pull her close to me and kiss the top of her head. We stay like this for an hour or so. At nightfall I lift her up and place the three year old on my sore hip. I carry us toward the window of the hospital room.

"Sarah do you see that bright star?"

"Yes Ima I do" she says tiredly

"Well that star is your papa. He will always be there following you and looking down on you. He will always be there" I poke her in her chest just over her heart. Her fingers come up to my cheek and wipe the stray tear off they then move to her chest and cover over her heart and I hear her whisper.

"I love you papa. See you soon" and she drifts into sleep on my shoulder.

The next few weeks passed in a blur. Funerals. Speeches. Celebrating Sarah's 4th birthday was hard but I put up a front for her. My first mission afterwards, to kill my brother, went smoothly and I was soon back in Israel.

A few weeks later my father calls me into his office. I walk in. I can tell from the way that he looks at me that he has something important to say.

"Ziva. Take a seat. " he beckons to the two chairs in front of his desk. I pick the one on the left and take a seat. "Ziva. I know that these past few months have been hard but we need to think ahead"

"Excuse me?"

"Ziva the recent trip to America was a success was it not?"

"Yes sir"

"I have organised you to be placed onto special agent Gibbs' team next month"

"With Jack?"

"No. Captain Harkness will be placed on a different team in Ohio"

"What? No. I am not leaving Jack"

"Ziva. This is an order. You will be placed on special agent Gibbs' team. You will become the Mossad liaison with NCIS. We need this connection Ziva"

"Send Liat. She is extremely capable"

"Of looking after a 4 year old. Ziva, I know that you do not want to leave but I believe that it would be good for you to have a fresh start. You start next month. Get packed Ziva. Goodbye"

"What about Sarah?"

"What about her?"

"Is she to come with me?"

"Yes I believe so"

"What do I do with her whilst I am at work?"

"Ziva she will be starting school soon. She will be there for the majority of the day" he cups my cheek in his palm "this will be good for you Ziva"

Present day.

"This will be good for you Ziva" his words ring in my head as I sit on the floor of the bathroom. It has been good. And I have been a good mother to Sarah haven't I?

"Mom?"

I look up and Sarah looks at me an expression of fear and shock on her face. She has never seen me cry before.

"Come here" I say to her and she joins me on the floor. I wrap my arms around her and, for the first time since that night in the hospital, we cry together.