Disclaimer: I do not own the Kamen Rider Kabuto TV show or franchise, nor am I profiting from these materials in any way. This fic was written solely for pleasure.

Chapter Notes: 2 years before canon.

The Butler and the Worm

By fieryrondo

12. Brother's Letter

Tetsu,

I assume that if you are reading this letter, you haven't completely given up on me. You also must be at least somewhat interested in my welfare. Not that I ever doubted your affections, but I know you have resented the decisions I have made.

Here is another one to add to the list—and yet, I do not find myself regretting it the least.

I remain, ever still, the butler to the Discabil family and its only living heir.

At this point, I can imagine you wringing your hair and gnashing your teeth. Tsk, tsk, Jiiya, have you finally been broken down? Lost your mind?

Though there are moments when I do indeed question my sanity, I am confident that in regards to this decision, my mind is perfectly clear.

The scar on my chest is nearly gone now, much thanks to your excellent care. Bocchama noticed it the other day and was immediately concerned. I told him it was a war wound from long ago. He did not seem to believe me entirely but let my explanation slide.

Bocchama is most gracious indeed!

I see you shaking your head now.

I know the master I serve is not human. However convincing its façade, however deeply buried the Worm's psyche is, he will always be a Worm.

But that does not mean he is not Bocchama.

I have learned a lot about Worms from my experience. Scorpio Worm, though he did not know it at the time, was a most first-rate teacher.

Did you know that Worms, for all their alien strength and mimicry, cannot do so many things that we humans take for granted? They cannot dream, emote, or empathize. The extent of their natural feelings is driven by the instinct of survival. The need to feed and defend—those are their sole motivations. In this sense they are little better than animals, not unlike their smaller, Earth counterparts. They are neither good nor evil.

I believe that any evil that comes from Worms originated from the humans they have copied. Did you know? When a Worm copies a human, the transformation is not just a physical one. They copy everything—memories, perceptions, judgments—all the things that make up one's personality and sense of self.

Can you imagine how overwhelming that must be for a Worm, that knows nothing of fears, hopes, and dreams?

I would imagine that they would panic and shut away as much of those troublesome and unfamiliar feelings as possible. I do not have a firm understanding of how a Worm's mind works but I can hypothesize that Worms can compartmentalize their victims' personalities to some extent, and absorb them over time.

Locked inside the Worm's mind, forced to bear witness as the Worm takes the lives their families and friends, how can the human mind bear to continue living? In despair, the human personality can only languish and fade.

The power of mimicry is a Worm's greatest weapon. By taking on the form of our loved ones, they can hurt us all where it hurts the most.

It can also be a Worm's greatest weakness, if the human mind is strong enough.

You have asked me a long time again, when I took my vows to serve the Discabil family, why Bocchama? Why, out of all the people in the world, did I choose Kamishiro Tsurugi?

Though few recognize it, I acknowledge Kamishiro Tsurugi as a rare soul graced with nobility. I don't mean the kind of nobility in the sense of one's lineage (though Bocchama certainly fits under that as well). I mean, the nobility of the soul—a lordly one with great courage and generosity, compassion and strength.

I see you are laughing now. I admit Bocchama has much more he needs to learn before he can truly lordly in spirit. But he learns quickly and improves in leaps and bounds.

I can never forgive Scorpio Worm for what he has done to Bocchama. I can never forgive myself for not being there to protect him and Mika-sama from harm.

My servitude, perhaps, may be a kind of penance for my actions. My punishment for my failings. I mourn for Bocchama and Mika-sama. I could not save them.

But I am still alive and that alone is a tremendous gift. Scorpio Worm could have easily killed me. But he did not. It has been a long time since I have remembered Kami-sama, but I cannot help but think that this turn of events was fated, somehow.

How else can I still be alive? How else can things have turned out this way?

It is hard for me to discern, who was the extraordinary one? Scorpio Worm for being the first Worm capable of true human empathy, or Bocchama for being so strong in spirit that he was able to find a way to defeat the Worm from within, to return from the dead and live once more.

I am inclined to believe that they were both exceptional.

Bocchama is well enough, though his emotional wounds have yet to heal. He blames himself for Mika-sama's death. It has given him a new drive—a drive to kill all Worms.

I knew you would appreciate the irony.

Though Bocchama is hardly aware of his less-than-human physique, I live in fear that he will be found out. He has expressed interest in joining ZECT, though the idea of working under someone chafes him immensely. He even considered inviting them to the mansion. Luckily I was able to persuade him from doing so—I do not know how much ZECT knows about Worms—they might be able to identify them and Bocchama would not take it too kindly to be called a Worm.

I hope he never finds out—the truth could devastate him.

You must find me pathetic to think of serving what one would call a monster. But the world has yet to lose its strangeness. There are just too many things that cannot be explained. And one must be careful in making generalizations. There is too much that we do not know yet. Perhaps we will know more. Perhaps we will see a day when Scorpio Worms become the norm rather than the exception. What an astounding day that will be!

I am not saying that Worms should not be destroyed. They should be—the ones who prey on humans—not out of necessity but of a cruelty that is both inhuman and terribly human at the same time. It is this very quality that makes them true monsters, not their claws, fangs or armor.

For the ones that take humanity and find themselves drinking so deeply they drown in it, I believe in mercy rather than justice. For when they reach this state, they are only monsters biologically. Should I be damned eternally for this, I will not hesitate to draw the same conclusion.

The Kamishiro Tsurugi that greets me in the mornings, that cries in his sleep at nights—he is my bocchama.

Of this, I am certain. And I will protect him until the end.

Next Time- Epilogue: Heaven's Sword