NOTE: According to the TARDIS Wiki one of the Time Lord traits that River has is that she has two hearts...so keep that in mind, it just might become important at some point in time.

Arrrrggghhhhh...this chapter was so difficult to write! Whos idea was it to write a Valeyard, time-twisted, time line shattered, paradox story anyway?

Chapter Fifteen

Reeling from the announcement the Doctor had made to her about having supposedly regenerated and his desire to change his title River found herself at a loss for words. Still pinned under him on the bed she tried to sit up. Assuming his confession had cleared everything up between them the Valeyard mistook her action for her bringing herself up for a kiss and he was more than happy to meet her half way on that. Eyes widened in shock River make a muffled sound of protest as the Valeyard amorously engaged her.

"No, wait," River laid back to break off the kiss "Doc...sorry, 'Valeyard', can we talk about this some more?"

"What's there to talk about?" The Valeyard asked as he started a search for a weakness in River's clothing to exploit.

"Let's start with why you still look like the Doctor I know if you're the 'next Regeneration'." River replied as she twisted under him to keep him away from the buttons that ran down the side of her black jeans. "Shouldn't you look different?"

"I know you like this look...so I kept it." He chuckled. Enjoying what he thought was a new game he gave in on the pants went to attack the defenses of her shirt instead.

"It doesn't work like that." River said as she pulled her shirt back down.

"So you're an expert on Time Lord physiology now, are you? Last time I checked I had been doing this a *lot* longer than you had." The Valeyard abandoned his current tactic for getting under River's shirt and tried to get it off her shoulder instead. "You should have seen the forms Romana used to choose, she was blue once. She looked ridiculous."

"I bet." River replied without interest as she wriggled her shirt back up onto her shoulder. "How did it happen? What cause you to Regenerate?"

"I don't want to talk about that." The Valeyard snarled as he suddenly pulled at her multilayered shirt with enough force to tear it at the shoulder this time. "Never ask me that again. Never!"

The Valeyard's dark tone along with having her clothes violently torn kept River silent for a moment. With her hearts racing painful River thought carefully on how best to continue. She knew from the way he had held her against the bars at Stormcage that he could be a formidable physical opponent if he wanted to be, at the same time she felt he would never truly hurt her. The Valeyard forgot his brush with anger as he tenderly tangled one hand in her long hair, leaning down he took advantage of the newly exposed skin and explored it with his teeth.

River gasped sharply as the Valeyard slipped his hand down her side and aggressively went for the buttons on the side of her pants again. She reached down and grabbed his wrist to stop him. This time the Valeyard didn't treat her protest as a game. He released his hold on her hair and propped himself up on his elbows so that he could look down at her.

"River," the Valeyard sounded truly concerned "what's wrong?"

"Where do I start?" River replied honestly.

"How about you start with the part where you're acting like I'm trying to rape you?"

River just stared up at the Valeyard silently.

"I see." The Valeyard said icily.

River tensed and prepared to defend herself as best she could in what she felt was about to become a truly violent encounter. The Valeyard leaned down and kissed River's cheek before he shifted his weight off of her. River stayed motionless in surprise for a moment as the Valeyard moved to sit on the edge of the bed so that he could stare out towards the balcony. He sighed heavily and raked his hands through his hair before bowing his head. Suddenly feeling guilty River sat up. Her shirt wasn't too badly damaged, the sleeve simply hung down off her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not used to our new situa..."

"This is not our first night together, River." The Valeyard interrupted calmly. "From the ice cliffs on Talutia 8 to the glowing caverns of Gemina we have been having the time of our lives together."

"That was differ..."

"Haven't I been everything you *ever* wanted? Haven't I been everything the Doctor *never* was?"

"I..."

"No." The Valeyard smiled. "Don't answer yet. Think about it. I can wait."

The Valeyard didn't give River a chance to respond any further. He tapped on his Vortex Manipulator and vanished leaving River alone. After getting off the bed and taking a few deep breaths to try and collect herself River still wasn't sure what to think of what had just happened. Part of her did want to tear at the Valeyard's clothing just as he had hers, the other part of her wanted to punch him in the throat and then find some way to force him back into his 'Doctor' persona, despite the shy behaviour that came along with it.

"We have been having an amazing time together and I do like the look..." River reached up and slapped herself. "Stop it, River! Pull yourself together. There is no 'Valeyard', no 'next regeneration', that makes no sense. The Doctor is simply...having a mid-life crisis. There we go, that makes more sense. He's been traveling alone too long and this time he's truly lost it."

River shook her head sadly at the fact that she was talking to herself, but she wasn't so sure that she wasn't far off from the truth. Deciding to take action rather than just hang around the bedroom waiting for him to return River headed for the balcony to take a look at the world she was stranded on. River looked out over the city that lay far below nestled in the curve of a vast bay. The balcony she was on was much to high up to consider climbing down. The golden moonlight reflected brightly off the glass windows of the stone buildings making it difficult to tell if there were any actual lights on below from habitation or if the city was dead.

A far as she could tell from her perch she was in some form of palace or perhaps a Temple that was built looming over the city below. River ran her hand along the smooth marble edge of the balcony ledge and inspected for seams between the stones. She looked over the side of the balcony for any kind of ornament work and found none, the outer stone work was simple and minimalistic.

"Hmmm...somewhat primitive civilization look, but stone cut with micron-laser technology. Constructed well, but quickly with no real humanoid pride in the stone work. Mechanical attention to detail, but not artistic. Whoever built this place certainly has far more technology than they want to admit to."

Having gleaned what archeological knowledge she could from the exterior River headed back inside. Getting to the door she fully expected it to be locked, but it opened for her without any trouble. River cautiously looked out into the hall, but it was empty. The interior had the same mix of ancient and advanced architecture. The appearance was one of a place that should be lit by torches and fire, however the soft glow that illuminated the area came from self sustaining fusion domes set in the ceiling.

Stepping out into the hall River started to explore. The stone hallway walls had a gritty film on them that rubbed off on River's hands easily. Giving the dust a quick taste she decided was chalk residue. She tested each door she came to and each one opened without protest. Of the six rooms that River discovered all of them were empty, they didn't even have furniture. It was like someone had built the place with the intention of people living there, but either had never moved in or had abandoned it. One thing River did notice is that all the rooms had the same gritty film on the walls. It wasn't until she came to a large set of double doors that she came across her first locked door.

"Now we're getting somewhere."

Reaching into her hair River pulled out a few pins that had been doing their best to keep her tight curls in check. Using the pins she easily picked the simple lock. Pushing open the doors just enough to look inside River made sure that no one was on the far side. Satisfied that she was still alone River stepped inside and looked around with her brow knit in confusion.

"Okay..."

River found herself in a large chaotic library that was completely out of place with anything else she had seen so far. More than half of the books had been taken from the rows of shelves, torn to shreds, and then discarded on the floor. River walked among the tattered pages and torn covers trying to find a pattern as to which books had been destroyed and which ones spared. However as far as she could tell not only was the order of the books fairly random, but the books themselves were also random. Books in all languages from all over the Universe were scattered about and shoved onto the shelves without apparent rhyme or reason.

Picking up a random text from the shelf in front of her River leafed through it and found it to be a textbook on the many deities of the Vi'oth tribe of the Tresi System. Putting it back she took the next one in line which ended up being a picture book on different models of John Deere lawn tractor over the years. River couldn't imagine any kind of cataloging system that would put those two books on the same planet with one another, let alone the same shelf.

River dropped the large glossy picture book when she heard one of the bookshelves falling over and crash noisily to the floor. She flattened herself against the shelf she was nearest to as a cry of rage rang out through the cluttered room followed by the sound of someone tearing at the pages of the defenseless books. Keeping low River made her way towards the disturbance.

Coming around the corner River found that the Valeyard had returned. It was still difficult for her to not just see him as the Doctor and leave her hiding place to greet him. However she decided that she might learn something by watching. He had shoved over a shelf and was on his knees in a pile of books. River noticed with alarm that his hair was matted to his skin with sweat and he was panting for breath like he'd just run a hard mile. Picking up a book he frantically tore the pages out and scattered them among the rest.

"No, no, no!" The Valeyard cried in panic as he destroyed another book. "Not again! Please! Stop! Leave me alone!"

The Valeyard gave up on his book mutilation and grabbed his chest over his left heart as he doubled over. When he cried out in a mixture of terror and pain River could no longer stay in the shadows. Reduced to his hands and knees in the tattered pages the Valeyard gasped and retched terribly.

"Doctor..." River said as she knelt down in front of him.

"River? River, help me!"

"What's happening?"

"I can't breathe..."

River was sharply reminded of the night in the museum when he'd had a similar panic attack, but this time it was infinitely worse. When River put her hand on his shoulder the Valeyard reared back like a spooked horse. His jacket opened breifly revealing that the marks in his chest that he had earlier claimed as a 'birth mark' were now glowing a brilliant gold through his shirt. He tried to scramble back away from River, but quickly tripped over himself and fell to the floor again. Landing hard on his back he arched back as he cried out at the top of lungs until his voice cracked. River rushed up to his side again and put her hand on his cheek.

"Try to calm down, look at me." River instructed.

"Stop! Please!" The Valeyard wailed desperately. "Aleena! Help me! Please, Jackels please stop, mercy!"

"What's happening to you?"

The Valeyard looked up at River with tears streaming from his eyes as he clawed at his chest. River took a hold of his wrists to keep him from injuring himself. He was still wearing the Vortex Manipulator and although River didn't notice the infection under the strap was starting to radiate gold as well. River's attention was too focused on the his rapidly degrading condition as he trembled and kicked at the floor in agony.

Now unable to use his voice for anything other than strained screaming the Valeyard cried out continuously as the marks in his chest seared into his skin. River ran her hand through the Valeyard's sweat soaked hair as he convulsed sickeningly. When the Valeyard broke down into a heartbreaking sobbing River gathered him up in her arms as best she could. Supporting him in her lap she held him close as he shivered and whimpered .

"How can I help?" River asked in a whisper feeling helpless.

River hadn't really been expecting an answer and she didn't get one. Holding him tightly she nuzzled against him in hopes of offering him psychological support if nothing else. The Valeyard clutched onto her in return as he gasped for breath between his tears. Although he seemed to find some comfort in their embrace the Valeyard still writhed and trembled violently in the grips of his unseen tormentor.

Gripping River tighter the Valeyard continued to battle for each breath, most of them he only caught as strangled gasps and released as agonized moans. Rocking him gently River closed her eyes and desperately willed him to be released from the mysterious pain. Doctor or Valeyard at this moment River didn't care she just wanted him to recover from this, they would sort the details out later. As he jerked in her arms with a weak cry she wondered how many times he had laid alone on the library floor in a similar condition.

"Why do you always have to solve things on your own?" River lamented.

It felt like hours before his lean frame began to calm because it was hours. River was so exhausted that she was afraid that she was going to pass out. The change in the Valeyard was subtle at first. He was still shivering uncontrollably but he was able to release the tension in his muscles that had previously been threatening to tear them from the bone. River had been leaning over, holding him to her chest, but as she felt him relaxing she carefully released her hold so that she could take a look at him. Resting on her lap still panting heavily the Valeyard looked up River with his eyes still filled with fear.

"Ri...River..."

"Relax," River soothed "just breathe."

"River, help me, please." The Valeyard whimpered in misery. "Please, help me."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know. Ju...just don't leave me..."

"I'm right here."

"Don't leave me...everyone always leaves me..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sweetie."