Heeyy so thank you so much to Chey21 for your review and your time (: and also thank you so much for alerts and fav.. This chapter also still short but i had planned in the next Chap I could make it longer. And just like before don't kill me if there are wrong words, typo etc on this story. I've tried my best. Also you can say anything about this story I'd love and appreciate it (:

And here we ggoooo ..

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush )':

CHAPTER 2 : Tears and Lies

Kendall was sitting alone. His vision was spotting at the floor. His mind was everywhere. 2 months, most of people probably thought it was a short time, but not for Kendall.

2 months are very meaningful for him. Mama Knight, yeah a 'Mother' who loves him so much by all of her heart. Katie, his baby sister she always helps Kendall. She known all about Kendall, knew what Kendall wanted and needed even he didn't tell her. Jo who always fills his days with her smile, her laugh, with all her attention and the most important is her love. And his three best friends who always be there for him and which comprehending him. What a perfect life. His old life who feel so perfect until he received that bad news.

He can convincing Jo to keep loving him, convincing his mom that Kendall wasn't a kid anymore, and could convincing his three best friends to not fighting within 5 minutes. But for this he couldn't convinced his disease to make his life to feel right and good again. The perfect life. The happiness. Life before that disease came to him.

In fact he doesn't want to say what kind of his disease. He wanted to sleep for a while and when he woke up, he'll realised that it was just a stupid nightmare. And his life back to normal, the perfect one without that ridiculous things.

He wanted to reveal all his burden to James, Logan and Carlos. But he doesn't want that his three best friends would be too worry and keep their eyes on him then treat him like overthinking or babying on him. He couldn't admit it. He doesn't want that everybody knows of his hardship. Even doesn't want if everybody takes care of him a lot. In the other hand he didn't know how to tell this to everybody about his disease. He wasn't ready for it, yet. He misses his old life.

A few minutes later James, Logan and Carlos came. Followed by Camille.

"Wazza!" Carlos came from outside then closed the door as he walked towards Kendall.

"Hey dude, you know what? We all agreed to throw a party to celebrate our Tour. Tonight will be an epic night ever!" James threw his hands on the air which nobody was really didn't know what those meant and what was that for.

"Yeah, and guess what? I don't know man it's like a MIRACLE that Gustavo said yes for this. Hhoo .." Carlos added, hit his helmet.

"Really.." Kendall convinced it with sluggish.

"Yeap, and every single of people in Palm Woods are inviting at this party. I can't wait for that!" again James said it with his coolest style.

"And I've asked Camille.." Logan cut his statement as he pulled Camille closer to him, "to be my date. And you have to ask Jo too, dude!" he said then raised his eyebrows towards Kendall.

"Yeah, and our job's as the security committee. Uhuk..! Uhuk..! right James?" he nudged James' shoulder.

"Yyeeaahh ..." James replied excitedly but it was gone when he saw Kendall.

Kendall just stayed still in the spot like he didn't really take any attention from his friends.

Carlos, James, Logan and Camille shared their eyes with their curious faces.

"Hei, are ya okey buddy?" Logan asked Kendall gently looking at Kendall' eyes deeper. He knew that something wasn't right he known Kendall since they were 6 years old.

Kendall looked at Logan and all his friends who looking at him back with puzzled face and widened eyes waiting for the answer to come from Kendall' mouth.

"Yeah, im good."

"You're not." Logan said quickly.

"You know to be honest you're a bad liar, Kendall. So, tell us what's wrong." this time James who spoken.

"I-I'm just...thinking." he raised his eyebrows.

"About what?"

Kendall closed his eyes for a while and sighed, "Jo.." he was hoping that they would believe him about this. His mind was screwing up.

"Oh, so you're thinking about how to ask Jo to come with you for the party tonight?" Carlos guessed.

Kendall relieved little bit but still kept silence and looked at the floor. He couldn't face to face with them. He nodded his head as 'Yes' answer.

He could heard their sighs and laughs as a hands touched his shoulders.

"Huh man, You're a such romantic boyfriend ever!" Carlos said with his excited face as patting Kendall' shoulders.

"You're so confuse how to say it to Jo and stringing for a good words for her then let me, your Super Friends help you.." Logan said firmly while enforcing his chest.

"Oh, come on not again!" Carlos and James, they both said at once. Logan looked at James and Carlos with the face what's wrong dude? This what Super Friends does!

"So, I think Jo is waiting at pool, Kendall." Camille looked at Kendall with puzzled face. She heard Kendall sighed softly and his face looks very lethargic.

"Ok. I will meet Jo. Thanks guys." Kendall smiled then he stood up and went out to see Jo.

He left his friends and walked out of Apartment 2J towards to elevator. His heart was beating so fast. His thought was still in nowhere. He wasn't sure what should he do. Sometimes he couldn't keep it by himself. He wanted to tell and share it, he was afraid. But if he even telling anything, everything to his mom, his youngest sister, his girlfriend and his best friends it make worst. They don't deserve to this, this isn't their responsibility. He wanted to cry but he couldn't, he have to be strong. Now and then.

For the last time Kendall sighed and says softly for himself, "Guys, I have a disease... "

So, what do ya think? I've had a plan for the next Chapter even honestly I'm not too satisfied with this Chapter but I hope you would like it and give me a feed back (:

And about Kendall's disease? I'll tell you in the nexh chapter.

Feel so free for Review. Love ya..