Author's note: I do not own anything from Gintama. Please review after reading. Just so you know, this story is in draft mode. Sorry, don't have time to let my fics be betaed. Please bear with me. It's presently 2:24 AM, I'm still on hospital duty. Lucky for this story, the referrals have stopped. But I'm sleepy. Sleep vs fic writing. Yeah, life decisions... ;P
UPDATE 5-9-13: This story has been edited to a less graphic version. It's in danger of getting deleted. Ack. You'll find the full version in my tumblr or wordpress account.
5-11-13: I've been editing this since yesterday. I am so tired. Some major revamping has been done. Enjoy!
Chapter 2: When Proposing to a Girl You Like, Grab Her and Kiss Her Senseless
Sacchan slipped on her glasses as she walked to her dressing room, smiling with satisfaction. Tonight's performance went well, she thought. The crowed seemed to enjoy her show and she didn't trip onstage at all. It's been five years yet she couldn't shake away her nervousness during performances. It was still a different place and bunch from what she was used to.
Taking a seat in front of her dresser, she fluffed her hair and examined her appearance.
Her purple hair was shorter and twirled at the ends. Each strand looked to be in place. Pleased with that, she adjusted her glasses which were rimmed pink and had two clips to secure its place. They were rarely lost nowadays.
She chuckled at the irony of her reflection. On the outside, she was different, with a new style and a calmer disposition. Her inner self remained, nurturing feelings from years ago, when she was livelier and infatuated. Her present emotions conflicted with her supposed vitality in love. She tried daily to distance herself from the past and move on. Still, there were times she ended up somber, recalling that painful night which caused her to leave Edo all those years ago.
She plopped down on her sofabed and berated herself. She constantly struggled to let go of the past. It was pathetic to remain emotional over things that occurred a lifetime ago. A few new friends advised her to go get herself a boyfriend but she was never eager to comply. There was still one man she found herself wanting and dreaming of. She was convinced that there was no one like him.
He was unique, all right, a man of passion and power. She admired him from the beginning, her heart drawn to him despite his roughness. People claimed he was lazy and disgusting but she knew otherwise. He kept up a front of being nonchalant and useless but his true self was reliable and responsible.
She knew him well from spending her free time observing and following him around. Proof of this was her being labeled as his stalker. Her eyes had memorized every detail of his face and the way his body moved.
She found him handsome, even charming. He was so... masculine, not merely in looks but also in deed. The man of her heart was protective of his friends and loved ones. Even new acquaintances were defended by him. He tried to reach out and understand everyone, even his own enemies. There was simply something about him that made him special and caused her to fall in love. All those nights she spent on his roof had given her insight to his character.
But there was a specific night she would never forget.
She also found herself wanting him physically. It was a different kind of lust, driven by her emotions and his callousness.
He never let her get as close as she wanted, constantly refusing her advances. There were times though when he had actually spoken to her with tenderness. He even offered to take responsibility for his own mistakes. She recalled hoping for more when he saved her a few times, even handing her a present he picked out himself. But she realized those rare moments were most likely false and out of duress. He had always regarded her as a nuisance. He was just that good of a person to do nice things for anyone, even stalkers he disliked.
A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. She opened it to see a bar staff. "What is it, Yusuke-san?" She asked.
"Aya-san, a customer wants to speak with you now," he explained the reason for his disturbance.
She frowned, "You know that I don't entertain guests here."
"But Aya-san, he's very insistent!" Yusuke looked a bit miffed. "He said you knew him. Patsu or something. He also handed me a lot of money. You know how much I need it for my family! Please Aya-san. He looks harmless. A young boy with orange crew cut hair. Pathetic, really."
Sacchan sighed, wondering who it was. She failed to recall anyone with that description. "Oh all right. Just send him in. I'll only speak to him for a few minutes. I need to rest."
Yusuke nodded and walked to the far right. "You can go see her now!" He yelled. "Bye Aya-san! Thanks!" Then he left.
She waited a few minutes but no one came forward. The boy probably chickened out, or Yusuke was playing a prank. Shrugging, she stepped back inside her room and shut the door. She was about to lie down when brisk rapping sounded on the wood.
She swung it open to reveal the person from her thoughts moments ago. It was someone she never expected to see at this time or place.
Gin-san.
"Gin-san!" She couldn't tell if she had voiced it out loud. Her blood was pumping fiercely from her heart into her brain, clouding her hearing. Unable to move, she merely stared at him.
He looked exactly as she remembered. Tall and imposing with large muscles visible through his shirt. His eyes had the same bored and red expression. His messy silver hair was pointing in all directions looking a bit wet like he just shampooed. His jaw had a slight stubble which she found incredibly sexy.
She realized he was also staring at her. He studied her for a moment, looking at her eyes, her nose and downward, lingering on her lips. His eyes moved lower and he licked his lips as he surveyed her breasts. Shocked and tickled by his actions, Sacchan's nipples hardened. She moved to cover them but he had already seen her protruding buds.
Smirking, he stepped wordlessly into the room and locked the door behind him. He was making her confused and nervous. What was he doing here? How did he find her?
After silently observing his surroundings, he spoke. "How long have you been here?"
Sacchan bit her lip, detecting a coolness in his tone. She anticipated a different question. "Five years. Ever since I-"
"Ever since you left Edo." He interjected.
"Y-yes."
He regarded her intensely. "What else have you been doing since then?" He asked evenly. "Still taking on jobs as a Shimatsuya?"
She wondered of his sudden interest in her activities. Why was he here, far from Edo? Did something prompt his unexpected visit?
"No. I... Stopped working as a ninja five years ago. I wanted to do something different," she said reluctantly.
"So that's why you came here?" He was still staring at her and she felt like his eyes were boring through hers, trying to read her mind, her secrets. "Why haven't the Annihilation Punishers come after you?"
"I don't know." She had waited for them to eliminate her after going rogue but they never showed up. "I never saw them since the last time they came for me."
He sighed, clearly irritated, and faced her dresser, his back to her. She could see him watching her from the mirror's reflections. Their eyes met and Sacchan felt her face heating up. Why was he looking at her like that?
"Did something happen back in Edo, Gin-san?" She was uneasy.
"There's something I need to ask you." He said quietly, not breaking his gaze on her.
"What is it?" She whispered, unable to relax.
"Are you-" He hesitated. "Are you in love with me?"
"What?" Sacchan squeaked, surprised by his bluntness.
He rounded on her and grabbed her shoulders, dragging her to him. Startled, she tried to keep distance by pushing her palms against his chest. He was too strong though. They ended up within inches of each other. Trembling, she tilted her head upwards to find him glaring down at her.
"Don't pretend you didn't hear what I said." He growled.
She couldn't stop shaking as she looked at him. Five years of not seeing or speaking to him and now he was so close to her, asking about her feelings for him. "Gin-san..."
"Stop acting naive." His hands tightened at her shoulders. "Answer me."
She swallowed thickly. There was no reason for her to admit her feelings. That clearly needed to remain in the past. Right now, he was furious and she knew that if he discovered the truth, he would do what he always does: push her away. Or throw her out the window.
She didn't want to provoke him thus, intending to tell him that she had no more feelings for him since they had faded a long time ago.
"Gin-san, I-" she started but he pulled her closer and planted a soft kiss on her lips. She gasped. Gin-san just kissed her!
He removed her glasses before repeating the gesture. "Tell me how you feel about me," he whispered against her mouth. "Do you love me?" He kissed her again, taking her lips into his. "Why did you leave?" Kiss. "Don't lie to me, Sacchan. I just want to know what you've been up to." This time, he kissed her longer and pushed his tongue to enter her.
Sacchan closed her eyes. She felt dizzy and she would have fallen if Gin-san did not have a tight hold on her.
She pulled away from him, trying to explain. "Gin-san... I-"
She was interrupted by his mouth returning to hers. He planted small kisses against her lips and then switched to licking and sucking them. Shivering, she let out a small moan.
"Tell me, Sacchan," He repeated.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked into his own. Her vision was imperfect without glasses but she thought his eyes looked darker than usual and his breathing was faster than normal. "Gin-san," she whispered, unable to form a coherent thought.
"Do you love me? Say it," he urged, pulling her closer.
She stared into the depths of his eyes and breathed out gently. "Yes."
She barely got the word out as he captured her lips into a more passionate kiss. He nipped gently on her lower lip, causing her to moan. He opportunistically slid his tongue inside her to caress her hungrily. Sacchan moaned again, sliding her own tongue against his. She craved to feel him some more.
Every inch of her body was extremely sensitive. She was hyperaware of his hands gripping her waist. They moved slowly up and down, caressing her torso. She mirrored his gesture by running her palms vertically on his chest, making him groan in response. Sacchan pressed closer, no longer thinking but only doing what her body wanted to. She needed every part of her body to be touched by him.
Planting her chest against his, she fervently wished he would grab her breasts. She was starting to feel really hot and needy. Only his touch could satisfy her. He cried in assent, hands travelling upward to squeeze her.
His kissing slowed. She knew he was concentrating on his hands, squishing her enthusiastically. It was all she could think about, his hands on her breasts.
He squeezed each breast alternately through her thin dress, going from rough to gentle. He touched every part of them save for the tips dying for his touch. He avoided brushing against her taut nipples, thumbs circling her areolas, only reaching the borders of the sensitive spots.
Sacchan was frustrated. She was about to demand that he stop teasing her when he lightly brushed his fingerpads against her wanting buds.
"Gin-san!" She gasped, feeling the pleasurable sensation travel from her nipples to her center. "Don't stop," she begged as he repeated the movement. She wanted more of it.
He stopped instead, letting go of her and stepping back. He was breathing heavily and before she could react, he slipped his hands under her dress and grabbed her breasts, pinching both her nipples. He squeezed firmly, rolling them between his fingers.
It was unbearable and driving her to moan loud and long. "Ahhhhh!" Sacchan felt like thrashing about. She was losing it with just his teasing touch.
Almost reaching her limit, he took his hands away and pushed her back to lie on the sofabed. She felt exposed, with him positioning her arms above her head and gathering her dress above her breasts.
Gin-san was staring at them like he found a hidden treasure. She breathed deeply, chest heaving. She knew he was overly fascinated by breasts and that he liked handling them. Vaguely, she recalled the time he attacked Tsukki's own with much vigor. Now, his attentions were on hers.
His lips hovered over her left breast, tentatively kissing a nipple lightly. Sacchan closed her eyes and shuddered. "Please..." she moaned, asking for more. He continued planting light kisses on the hardened peak. Then he licked it long and slow. She grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him closer, on the edge with his teasing.
Ignoring her movements, he continued with his sly actions. He sucked on her teat harshly for a few moments, followed by lapping while making delicious sounds. He then transferred to her other breast and lavished it the same way.
Sacchan was in heaven. She couldn't contain the energy building inside her for any longer. Gin-san was suckling on her like a baby that hadn't fed for days. Each tug he made on her nipple sent waves of tremors to the area between her legs. She wanted him so badly. He was so good at turning her on. Unwanted memories flooded in her mind, reminding her of his skills at pleasuring a woman.
With a change of heart, she pushed him off her. As he fell to the ground, she righted herself, pulling down her dress. She smoothened her hair as she stepped away, grabbing her glasses in the process.
He stood up, grumbling, hair even messier than usual and attractive. His eyes were flaming and his lips were bruised from all the kissing. Briefly, she wondered if she looked similar.
She stepped back when he started towards her.
"What's wrong?" He asked gruffly, panting.
"I can't, Gin-san." She said firmly yet short-winded. Apparently, she hadn't recovered her breathing.
His eyes narrowed, "Why not? You said you loved me, right? You shouldn't be holding back!"
"It's not that easy," she trembled, exasperated. "I haven't seen you for five years. This is all so sudden! You never even wanted me this close before!"
He grabbed her arm. "What's sudden is you disappearing all those years ago without warning. You didn't even try to contact anyone. Not even Hattori or your friends from Edo."
"We don't work with each other anymore. What I do is my business."
His grip tightened, "Why did you leave then? What have you been involved with? I know you're hiding something." His eyes bore into hers.
Before Sacchan could respond, the door exploded and Kagura ran inside followed by a coughing Shinpachi. They looked a bit taller and older than before.
"Gin-chan! What's taking so long?" Kagura roared, irritated. She turned to Sacchan. "Oh, hi Sacchan! It's great to see you. Gin-chan's been looking for you everywhere." She was chewing on a sukonbu.
"Kagura." The samurai said abruptly.
"Sacchan!" Shinpachi greeted, adjusting his own glasses. "You were great out there! But why are you at this place? We haven't seen you in years! Gin-san's been stressed over finding you."
"Enough talking, enough questions!" Gintoki barked, obviously irritated with the interruption. "Get out, you two. I still have something to discuss with her. Alone. Give me a few minutes."
"Gin-chan! I wanna go home and sleep! I've eaten so much tonight." Kagura pushed. "And we found Sacchan! That's good, right?"
Gin-san shooed them away impatiently. "Get out of here."
The two Yorozuya sidekicks walked through the hole where the door used to be. "We'll wait not more than fifteen minutes," Shinpachi threatened, "and then we'll leave you out here. See you, Sacchan."
"Like I care," Gin-san muttered, "after five years, I'm still stuck babysitting you kids."
Sacchan wondered what else there was to discuss. They should just forget this night ever happened. She would resume her usual routine and Gin-san would return to Edo, with Shinpachi and Kagura, back to Tsukki and they would never speak again.
Gin-san turned back to her, "I'll get straight to the point." He said, voice and expression serious. "It's as Kagura and Shinpachi have mentioned, I've spent years looking for you, Sacchan. I rummaged through every city and befriended the most suspicious people just to find out where you were all this time and what you've been up to."
Sacchan tried not to be affected by her name from his lips. He always called her 'stalker' but now he addressed her personally. He meant business.
"I'd almost given up, you know, searching. All my efforts have been futile... until tonight. It's been long days of working my ass off trying to find clues and nights of no sleep or rest with thinking. It wasn't easy. Hell, it's been one of the hardest and most frustrating endeavors of my life. I'm glad that tonight I was finally lucky."
"Why have you been looking for me, Gin-san? What do I have to do with anything?" Sacchan failed to understand his motives. There was no indication whatsoever for his desperation to find her. She had been lying low for the past few years. "I don't think there is anything I could help you with."
He shook his head, expression pained and appearing to struggle internally on whether or not he should explain. After taking a few deep breaths, his face hardened, jaw set, eyes piercing and frightening. Grabbing her hands, he drew them to his chest and held them there. "Why have I been looking for you? What do you have to do with it?" He repeated.
Sacchan nodded. "I don't have any information to offer. Not if it's related to my old job. I couldn't possibly be of use. You don't need me. You never needed me. I don't think you even care-"
"Because I missed you." He said, harshly, stepping closer to her until her face was only inches from his. "You left, things happened and it drove me mad. Your absence, I couldn't take it. I've been craving your presence, imagining your reasons. I needed to find you because you're the only one who can help me."
She stared at him, shocked and disbelieving. He was lying, she was sure, saying that he missed her. Without fail, he would always reject her presence. She was rarely useful to him, always ending up to be an annoyance.
The old her would have rejoiced upon hearing his revelations but right now, it didn't feel right. She severely doubted his sincerity. More importantly, she had changed, especially regarding the way she understood him. He didn't want her, he never did, and she knew that with all her heart. He never cared for her romantically and it was impossible for him to develop some feelings for her during her absence. He even had someone else, another woman he declared his love and desire for during their own heated lovemaking. He swore to protect and marry Tsukki, while she declared her love for him in return.
Which is why this entire situation was preposterous. Him supposedly going through so much trouble to find her and make such unbelievable declarations. She wasn't naive. She knew him well and so far, his words and actions were extremely contrived.
Dragging her hands back and turning away from him, Sacchan bent her head, "You're lying," she spit out. "I hate it when people lie to themselves."
"I am not lying," he countered.
"You don't want me, you never did. And... What about Tsukki?" She inquired woefully.
He did not answer for a few tense seconds. "What about Tsukki?" He asked, his voice menacing, voice strained.
"I know about your feelings for her," she revealed. "Aren't you two..." she paused, "together?"
"I am not with Tsukki right now," he bit out. "Stop changing the subject."
Sacchan could feel his anger increasing. "Just tell me the truth," she pleaded. "What do you want, Gin-san? Why are you here?" She could hear him exhaling with force.
He moved closer to her, his body pressed against her back. Placing his hands on her hips, he bent his head forward to whisper in her ear. "I want you," his voice was hoarse. "I want to go home with you tonight."
He wanted her? "Gin-san, I don't understand-"
He moved closer, lips grazing her ear, "The reason I came here was to find you. I plan to stay with you, to live with you. I just want you to be mine, Sacchan."
"You want to marry me?" Her heart skipped a beat. A proposal? He'd done this before, when they first met, but it wasn't as unfounded as this.
"No," he chuckled meanly, "I want you as my lover."
Sacchan gasped at his words, awakened by them. So he wanted sex. "That's- that's-"
"Perfect. What you've always wanted. I know you want me, Sacchan," he moved his lips to her neck, attacking it with slow, open-mouthed kisses. "Now I intend to have you too."
Sacchan was unable to concentrate on their conversation. He was kissing a very sensitive spot. "No. I meant- what I meant was that- ohhh!" She held tight on his arm.
"I won't take no for an answer." He growled. "Tonight, I'm coming with you. And just so you know, Sacchan, I'm a very eager and demanding lover." He emphasized this by rubbing his pelvis against her rear.
She gasped. "Gin-san, we should talk about this first."
"I'm too horny to continue talking. I wanna fuck soon." He was being so forward. "We'll deal with it after."
Resisting, she tried to speak firmly, "Let's discuss things tonight and rest then we'll see how it goes another time. Maybe tomorrow, all right?"
He turned her to face him, maintaining close contact. "I'm afraid you won't be getting any sleep tonight, or any other night, for that matter." Gin-san warned. "Mornings, we'd probably be busy too, and afternoons aren't an exception."
Biting her lip, Sacchan pushed away from his embrace. "I don't think we should! Not right away..."
"I think we should." He declared. "You've always acted like you wanted this to happen. Have you forgotten your tempting offers in the past? Well, right now I'm agreeing to it. I'm granting your requests. You should be happy and cooperate."
She felt cornered, unable to explain her hesitation. "This is very complicated."
"It's actually not," he smirked. "Just think of it as two people engaging in their mutual lust for each other."
Heart pounding, she asked, "But what about Kagura and Shinpachi? They're coming with us, right?"
Gin-san crossed his arms and took slow, measured steps towards her. His eyes were full of promise, glued to hers. Smiling slowly and mischievously, he said, "They already left."