Author's note: I do not own anything from Gintama. Please review after reading. This fic is unbetaed, sorry. Btw, this is NOT THE FULL VERSION due to site restrictions. You may check out my tumblr / wordpress / livejournal for the detailed chapters. Sorry for the late update. Work's been super busy lately. And I kinda modified the plot a bit. Kinda. Been checking old episodes and the manga for a bit of help in threading this entire thing together. Crazy stuff. Ch 350/Ep 229 omg Alpha Gin-san! Hehe. And the Gintoki line in Ch 391, "Cause tonight you won't be sleeping". Well, taken out of context haha. He still said it! Replies to reviews will be at the end of the chapter. Thanks for your feedback! =)
I felt
My heart
Melt
Like wax
And you were
The flame.
Burning
Burning
Burning
Devouring,
Merciless.
- whispered-words (tumblr)
6/24/13 - REVISED :)
Chapter 7: It's Easy to Forgive, As Long As You Forget
His only sanctuary nowadays was their ramen house base, which was truly wretched indeed. The place always smelled of that noodle, no matter how much cleaning Shinpachi did. Although, being literally next door to the kitchens was probably the main cause.
Gintoki frowned, checking the fridge for some sweets only to find it empty except for old candy wrappers and a dark bottle he wouldn't dare touch. Somehow, he regretted not taking a strawberry drink from Sarutobi's ref cooler before leaving. She always stocked up on them since he started living there.
But, he told himself, ramen was loads better than having to deal with natto. Not that he had seen or smelled it recently. She also made quite an effort to keep him away from that stinky fermented substance he hated.
The television at this place rarely had reception either. Only Shinpachi knew how to adjust the antenna to clearer channels. The boy was always explaining about keeping the two sticks at an angle but seriously, Gintoki was too damn preoccupied to even bother understanding the mechanics. His TV at the Yorozuya place was easier to fix.
He wasn't even angry anymore, and this surprised him. He was simply tired. Tired of going through the same thing over and over without recompense.
It was probably a dead end. As usual.
And maybe the Sarutobi woman was scrunched dry of information. He spurned that idea immediately, knowing there was still somehing to be revealed about her departure from Edo.
But what of Tsukuyo? She had to be alive. He knew it. He could feel it. Where was she though? Was she well? Or was she being kept in a web of torture?
His heart constricted at the thought of her being hurt or defiled. He was terribly reminded of her previous capture by Jiraia and the way he had harmed her while keeping her trapped in his dangerous threads. That man's revolting outlook in life and twisted love for his student drove him to do monstrosities. Now, whoever was behind this debauchery would pay. He hated the fact that he was unable to protect someone so precious to him. Even worse, he had to resort to his own iredeemable actions for now.
Never, in his life, had he found himself become so active for a cause. The madness within him had awakened, and every step forward only fueled it. It was unstoppable.
His dark thoughts were interrupted by a hairy man climbing through the window. His eyes were completely covered by his bangs, which were light brown, and his chin sported a goatee of the same color. Clad in his royal blue ninja suit, he stood infront of Gintoki with half his attention on him and the rest on the latest JUMP issue in his hands.
"Give me that!" Gintoki grabbed the comic and flipped over the pages. He still needed to catch up on the latest chapter of Naruto.
"I wasn't finished with that," Zenzou Hattori, the ninja, attempted to retrieve his book. He fell back against the wall after Gintoki had planted a square kick on his gut. So much for being a highly skilled member of the Oniwabanshuu.
Kagura entered, picking her nose, and was followed by Otsuu, carrying her portable recorder. "Hemorrhoid ninja! You're finally here!"
"Yep. I received a nice, warm welcome. Very nice, indeed."
"Would you have preferred it if I kicked you in the ass?" Gintoki murmured lazily, turning a page.
"Ha! I doubt you'd have a good aim. Only Sarutobi could target it well, even without her glasses."
Gintoki was silent at that. He was superbly aware of everyone's eyes on him. He tried to ignore them but the persistent prickling on the back of his neck was starting to make him very uncomfortable.
"What?" He screamed, unable to put up with their accusing stares. "What is it? What are you people trying to do, huh? Are you drilling holes into my head with your eyes? I can feel the beams! They may be invisible but they burn. Like hell! What are you trying to accomplish? Huh?"
"Gintoki-san, you sound guilty-boobalies," Otsuu giggled.
"GUILTY? Who's guilty? Definitely NOT ME!"
Kagura kicked his leg, "You're not fooling us, you criminal! Now bend over and keep your hands above your head." She produced a pair of cuffs. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." Twisting his arms behind him, she continued, "Now keep talking!"
Gintoki bawled, "The pain, Kagura! I mean, OFFICER. The pain! Where's my lawyer?"
"I'm afraid Attorney Sadaharu is unable to fit through the door."
"Why is my public defender a freaking animal who only bites people's heads off?"
"That's what lawyers do, Gin-san. It's a common trait of theirs-olicigator."
"Do we always have to go through this crap every time we're here?" He muttered in anguish.
Everyone chorused, "Yes!"
"We still do not agree with your plans regarding Sarutobi." Zenzou had his arms crossed and his head was bowed.
Kagura grabbed his face, her large eyes focused on him, "Sacchan would never try to harm Tsukki! She may be crazy and obsessed with you but she's a good person."
"I've known Sarutobi since the academy and believe me, vengeful jealousy is not her style, despite her persistence." Zenzou sighed, shaking his head. "She is unlikely to be affiliated with the Kiheitai or Jiraia at this point. Remember, Jiraia was also an enemy to her. The other shinobi and I have found no traces of Sarutobi in any of their dealings."
"You guys have been repeating this same shit for the last few years. But tell me, have any of you explained why she disappeared then? Right around the time Tsukuyo was gone?" He was aware of the hatred and intensity of his voice. They always insisted that Sarutobi was innocent, based on what they knew of her. Well, he thought that he knew her too. He was mistaken.
Why did she conveniently drop out of sight during the chaos? She left her friends -even her supposed best friend- behind during a time of crisis. It was despicable.
People who have a common enemy are bound to become friends. He believed that she and Jiraia had a similar target, and that they joined forces. Somehow.
"Well, did she reveal anything to you? Does it seem like she's hiding something-amadoodle?"
He buried his face in his hands, frustrated. "She won't budge. Maybe I need more time." Punching the wall, he growled, "But I don't have any more time!" The longer he took, the farther he was from finding Tsukuyo.
He lost her on that fateful night. Without warning, she was gone. They had plans of taking on the Kiheitai together but apparently, they got to her before they even finalized everything. After searching for so long, he's finally close. They were in the area, the enemy. He also came across the woman who might have aided them in Tsukuyo's capture. It won't be easy to get her back but he knew that whether it be hell or even under the sheets, he'd see it through for his love.
Yes, hell. He knew that place was waiting for him, a demon in his past, even a demon in the present. His future was decided. He employed deceit, lies and seduction as a means for his goals. Fuck it all. He may even have broken a few hearts - those of his friends and comrades, the people who believed in him and the woman he was currently punishing for the events he blamed her for.
Even his teacher would be disappointed, be it him looking down at him from the heavens or above from the inferno. His heart would be shattered at seeing him right now. He was a wretched demon. His old name fit him well. Shiroyasha. A white beast out to destroy.
Driven by love.
It was either painfully romantic or adorably tragic.
A scuffle at the door alerted them to another presence. It was Zura, frantic, hair flying all over the place elegantly.
Gintoki stood, sword at the ready.
"It's the girl!" Zura cried, "The Matako woman. We ran into her buying tampons -or was it condoms?" He shrugged and motioned for them to follow him.
They ran, Zura at the lead and Gintoki at his heels. "Where?" He could feel his heart rate increasing dangerously. His breaths were short and desperate.
The Joui leader guided them across narrow alleys and a few busy streets before stopping near a wooden gate, sniffing and looking up. "There!" He pointed at a figure on the roof.
It was the blonde woman, pink kimono flowing with the wind, and a haughty look in her eyes. She aimed her guns at them and fired bullets, one after the other.
Kagura jumped forward, protecting them with her umbrella. "Stay close, Otsuu-chan!"
Gintoki huffed, "Why did she even come with us? Keep her away from the line of fire!"
Zura grabbed Otsuu and ran from the scene as Kagura returned fire at the Kiheitai member. Gintoki ran up the wall and grabbed the window sill to swing himself up on the roof, continuing pursuit.
Matako jump flipped downward and to Gintoki's dismay, landed on a moving car at speed. She held on to the dome, shooting him occassional glances to check if he was close, as he ran across houses, trying to catch up. Thankfully, she was unable to wield her weapons.
Finally getting ahead, he anticipated the vehicle as it passed under the minimart. He leaped, holding his breath, and landed on top of her. After a quick struggle, they toppled off the car and rolled into the dirt.
He felt a heavy boot make painful contact with the back of his head, blurring his vision momentarily. Crying out, he faced the assailant, ready to fight back. Instead, he only blinked in horror.
The man possessed his face, features eerily similar, but his lips were twisted into a sinister grin. His hair was short and straight, bearing a golden color which shone in the setting sun. His clothes were a swapped version of his own, tidier and smelling like bleach.
Another foot plunged down on his stomach, making him cough up blood. He saw Kagura's older brother with the smiling eyes yet perverse heart. Looking back to his right, he tried to make sense of the other scoundrel's appearance but someone else stood there.
The golden haired copy of himself had vanished. In its place was someone he knew from his past, and someone he had been chasing exhaustively.
Shinsuke Takasugi.
His face was unsmiling, even unruffled. "Do not interfere, Gintoki Sakata." It was all he said before knocking him out, unconscious.
He woke to find Kagura and Zenzou carrying him. They said Katsura took Otsuu back to the hideout while they tried to find him. Unfortunately, when they arrived, he was alone and stupefied.
"I saw them," he said when they reconvened. "Takasugi, Kamui, and..."
Kagura's eyes widened. Only Zura spoke, "Who else, Gintoki? You are lucky to be alive."
"Kintoki," he whispered, still unable to comprehend what he saw.
"Who?"
That thing had been destroyed. It may have been his imagination. After all, he had a bad head injury. "Nothing. There was no one else."
"It also seems they weren't accompanied by ninja." Zenzou mused. "What do we do now?"
"At least we know they're here," Kagura rubbed her chin, "and nii-san's with them. But I won't forgive him for stepping on you, Gin-chan."
"They might leave since they know we've found them." Gintoki was worried, it would certainly complicate things if that happened. He was back to square one. "Takasugi said not to interfere. Like hell I wouldn't!"
"If we're fortunate, they might need to remain in the area," Zura mitigated. "Rumors of their operations imply a longer stopover."
"Then we just have to keep our eyes open," the blue ninja murmured thoughtfully. "I'll definitely be keeping an eye out. It would actually be beneficial if Sarutobi helps us. She-"
"NO." Gintoki refused to have a doubtful presence in their midst. "What if she feeds us right into their claws?"
"Gin-chan!" Kagura reprimanded, "Sacchan could help you!"
"I said I don't want her here!" He was not convinced of her advantage. "We don't need help from her. We need help with her!"
No one argued with him. Instead, they gave each other wary glances.
"Tsunpo-kun wasn't there?" Otsuu asked quietly.
Gintoki shook his head as despair and confusion settled over him.
Feeling more tired than angry, he walked back to Sarutobi's home that night. He slammed the door open and was greeted by a distressed sound followed by a purple blur dashing onto his chest and hugging him.
"Gin-san!" She was bawling and tightly attached to him.
His brain failed him, disabling his ability to move or speak. Strangely, her familiar actions caught him off guard.
"Gin-san! I thought you had left for good." Her voice was shaking in between tearful gasps. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He grabbed the back of her robe, "Sarutobi-"
"Please believe me. Gin-san, I-" she raised her head to look at him, eyes puffy with tears continuously flowing down her cheeks, "I don't know anything else about Jiraia."
He didn't believe her. Of course, she was deceiving him. Right now though, she looked honest and pitiful. He fleetingly thought of what Kagura and Hattori mentioned earlier. Was it possible he was mistaken? Did his desperation result in prosecuting an innocent woman? If he were wrong, where did that leave him then?
Another impasse.
His face probably showed resignation because she gave him a tiny, hopeful smile. Blushing, she inched closer while glancing at his lips. Tentatively, she brushed her mouth against his, only holding back to gauge his reaction.
He watched her quietly, trying to disregard the soft feel of her lips or the widened, eager look in her eyes.
She took this as an assent, boldly kissing him and resting her hands on his chest.
"Gin-san," she murmured provocatively, tilting her head for better access. She glided her lips against his own with a passionate, hypnotic movement.
He groaned, pulling her close by the waist and responding actively. She was willing and she felt so good. Hearing her say his name in that manner had his blood simmering.
He kicked the door closed and pushed her against the wall, maintaining contact. His hands roamed everywhere to feel her some more. Swiftly, he untied her robe and pushed it off her shoulders. They moaned into each other's mouths when his hands rested on her breasts.
She took longer with undressing him when he refused to let go of their kiss. Instead, he shrugged off his own clothes and immediately resumed groping her afterwards.
Crying out his name again, Sarutobi wrapped her leg around his waist, trying to rub herself over him.
He licked the side of her neck and hooked her other leg around himself. "Let's go to the bedroom, kitten."
She grabbed at his hair with both hands and ground herself against him. "No- Please- Gin-san! Just- now! Right here!"
He wanted to comply but instead cupped her buttocks and dashed into the room. He lay her down on the futon and kissed her while taking her slowly.
"Ahhhhh..." Her legs were crushing him. She kept trying to advance her hips but he held her steady.
"Kitten," he cried, pleased with her. He loosened his grip to let her move.
Without hesitation, she moved while chanting his name. She ran her fingers through his hair gently, only hesitating upon feeling the lump on his head, and then moved down to his shoulders and back, running over his wounds.
His body tingled with her touch, adding to the satisfaction of being with her. No longer minding the pain from his earlier injuries, he guided her movements, making her squeal.
"Oh, Gin-san," she sighed, springing to and fro, "you're so good at sex." Her words sent a boost to his ego.
Encouraged, he continued to undulate, a slow and controlled movement until he couldn't hold back anymore.
Later, past midnight, they were lying face to face on the futon, not touching. Gintoki feigned sleep while Sarutobi merely gazed at him, a vacant look in her frameless eyes. She seemed to believe he was unconscious, lacking any visible reaction as he stared back.
Her face bore a melancholic expression and she did not attempt to get closer, except for her hand which reached out to touch his cheek. She barely made contact before she drew her arm back guiltily.
"Thank you, Gin-san," she whispered, so low he barely heard it. "Thank you... For not rejecting me- or pushing me away this time- like you always do." She sighed, "thank you so much, Gin-san. I love you."
He shut his eyes, not wanting to deal with this -with her- right now, trying to remember her faults. He did not open them even as he felt her get up from the mattress. Her words and gestures were tender but he would not allow them to sway him.
Hours later, when he roused to take an early morning leak, his bruises were already covered in smelly ointment and bandages. A glass of water and some pain tablets were prepared for him by his side. Peeking outside, he saw her sleeping on the living room couch, head bent and hugging her knees to her chest.
Author's end note: Hee! I still hate chapter 2 but I don't know how to fix it anymore. *roars* Anyway, go read the next chapter. Go! Btw, I came across Sacchan's line from Ch 321 about her saying she loves him. I'm not sure if she actually tells him that more than once in the manga. It's cute. Dear Guest, sorry for the wait, here are two chapters of payback. Strawwwberrylollipop, I am glad that the shock factor actually worked on at least 1 person. Gin's always an asshole to Sacchan. :/ She will pick herself up someday. And also might revert to her crazier self.