Author's note: I do not own anything from Gintama. Please review after reading. This fic is only semi-revised, because I have little time to spare. Btw, this is NOT THE FULL VERSION due to site restrictions. You may check out my tumblr / wordpress / livejournal for the detailed chapters. I had to rewatch the Shinsengumi Rebellion arc to get a feel of a certain character that will appear in this chapter. Ugh, I don't really like Gin in Shinsengumi uniform. It doesn't suit him. Hijikata, however, *hearts*. Replies to reviews are at the end of the page. Arigatou, readers! ^v^

Chapter 10: When a Rival Appears, a Man's Resolve is Strengthened

Sacchan needed a few drinks to make herself relax. She was uneasy, her muscles were taut and her usual performance smile was unnatural. It showed onstage, her voice cracked and she missed the entrance to at least two songs. Even her dancing was a bit uncoordinated. Her entire body was rigid and her feet seemed to weigh a ton. Taking in some alcohol would make her loosen up. It only took a few shots of sake to make her feel bolder, disinhibited even.

Fortunately, management didn't notice her discomfort, nor did the audience. There was no way to confirm this since she barely saw the bunch she entertained nightly. They simply appeared as a blur. From what she'd heard, smaller crowds appeared nowadays, probably due to the rumors of local trafficking of Amanto. Several of them have been disappearing for years but it was only recently that it had come to the attention of the government. It was when a young female of their species, the daughter of a prominent figure in office, had gone missing. No bodies have turned up, but there were news of sightings involving bones and severed body parts.

Surely, it was a rebellion. One against the administration set up by the aliens decades ago. But who was behind it? Sacchan recalled a handful of groups with an agenda against the Amanto, but none of them were known to operate on that big of a scale. Yet.

Sighing, she entered her dressing room and automatically reached for her glasses. She usually set them on the nearest surface from the door to decrease her trouble with finding the pair.

"Oh!" Her eyeglasses were gone. Gliding her hands across the flat board, she noted an empty space. Where could they be?

"Good evening, Ayame-san," a baritone voice spoke from her left. "Come over here and take a seat. You must be exhausted, I daresay." His tone was formal. She knew this man, he had shown up a few years back and introduced himself as a producer. Stepping forward cautiously, she felt her way to the dressing chair and rested on it.

He moved behind her and slipped her glasses on, hooking it slowly to her ears and setting the clips in place. Blinking, she focused on the mirror before her. The man at her back was statuesque, more than a head taller than her, as she noted during their previous encounters. His teal hair in upward spikes made him appear even bigger. He maintained a quiet and serious disposition. His head was accentuated with eye and ear shields. They added to his mysterious appearance. Strapped to his trunk, he carried a musical instrument, which he called a shamisen. He claimed to use it for "extra business".

"Thank you, Kawakami-san."

"Please call me Bansai." His hidden gaze seemed to remain on her reflection. She was surprised he could even hear her with those large headphones covering his ears. There were times when music boomed from them. Right now, they were silent, used only as an accessory. "Contact lenses would suit you better, I daresay."

He had asked to meet her years ago, when she started out at the bar. Introducing himself as Tsunpo Kawakami, a music producer, he informed her of his interest in her talents. He even offered a so-called "healing" process for her myopia. "Your tune intrigues me," were his cryptic words. But Sacchan had declined his proposal, wanting to keep a low profile. Kawakami wasn't deterred by her constant refusal. Instead, he patiently showed up every now and then to see if she had changed her mind.

Sacchan insisted on referring to him as Kawakami-san. She never felt comfortable in using the name "Tsunpo". It was like calling someone disabled, and it only reminded her of her own visual defect. "Bansai", which he revealed to be his given name after a few encounters, was a bit too informal for her. They maintained a professional relationship, after all.

"Contact lenses never really worked out for me," she admitted. "That's why I stick to using glasses." The small plastic substance irritated her eyes. Her rapid and repeated blinking only caused her to lose them, more often than her glasses. She even fell asleep wearing them and the results weren't pretty. Since she was a child, she had dealt with her need for visual assistance. Her ninja training had also helped in heightening her other senses. In a way, things worked out eventually, though imperfectly. She remained clumsy at times, facing the wrong direction when addressing someone or mistaking identities and objects. No wonder people found her annoying.

He tilted his head, apparently studying her. Stepping closer, he lay his hands on her shoulders. His touch was light, but she could feel an intense heat emanating from them. "You seem tense lately, Ayame-san. Something is bothering you, I daresay."

She laughed good-naturedly, brushing off his comment. "Really? I guess I'm just a bit tired. It's nothing." Glancing at her own reflection, she surmised that she looked no different than usual. Hair straight and in place, face made-up, even her dress was unruffled. She adjusted the garment to cover the sides of her breast. His hands on her shoulders held the thin straps in place. The style formed a V over her upper torso, both at the front and back, ending at her waist. Her sides were bare, making the short dress loose and revealing. She wore nothing underneath, which wasn't really a surprise.

"You can't fool me, I can feel your tune. It's unstable, I daresay." His hands started to move in place, massaging her shoulders. "Here, I will help you get rid of the tension."

Breathing slowly, Sacchan silently took the bait. His touch wasn't unwelcome. In fact, it was somehow comforting, relieving her of worries. He was good at it, his fingers reflecting a skill at strumming an instrument with expertise.

A tiny movement of his lips upward showed his satisfaction with her response. He glided his hands to her neck, easing the rigidity of her muscles, and afterwards, he roamed his fingers through her hair and rubbed her scalp.

His ritual was hypnotizing and effective such that Sacchan decided to forego her plans of drinking. She was on the verge of falling asleep.

"That's better, I daresay." He returned to her shoulders and dug his fingers deeper, focusing on her back. "I am pleased with your tune right now. Just... Let go and give in, Ayame-san." His voiced cracked, accompanied by louder and rapid breathing through his nose. He shifted his hands forward to her clavicles, tracing them deliberately.

Sacchan gasped with an abrupt twitching of her shoulders. Giggling, she turned her head to him. "I'm sorry, that tickles."

He looked down at her with a smirk, "So... That part of yours is quite sensitive, I daresay." Keeping his hands in place, he continued to stroke the area with his fingers.

She laughed again and grabbed his palms to stop him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?" A menacing question came from the doorway.

Gin-san was in an aggressive stance, his wooden sword pointed forward. His eyebrows were drawn together, eyes narrowed dangerously. Seeing him breathing with force, there was no doubting his anger.

"YOU!" He and Kawakami growled at the same time.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Gin-san started towards them, keeping his eyes on the other man.

"I should be asking you the same question, I daresay." Kawakami remained in place, arms at his sides. He made no move to grab a weapon.

Sacchan was confused. They knew each other? There was an obvious hostility between them.

"We have a score to settle, you bastard! And stay the hell away from her!"

Kawakami chuckled, "You are in even worse shape than I remember. Everything about you is threatening to burst into chaos, I daresay."

"Your face is gonna burst, I'll make sure of that."

"No need to get cocky, Shiroyasha." He stepped forward without threat. "I am not in the mood to fight you right now. Moreso, Ayame-san needs to rest. Witnessing this kind of terror will only cause her distress, I daresay."

Gin-san's eyes widened a fraction. He looked suspicious.

"I shall be on my way, then. Good night, Ayame-san." He gave her a nod. "Expect a visit from me again soon, I daresay." He walked past Gin-san without looking at him. "Gintoki Sakata, the next time we meet... I'll be ready for you." The door closed behind him, leaving them in a strained silence.

Sacchan looked away from him, hiding her face with her hair. She should ask him to leave, but she couldn't speak. He still flustered her, firing up her nerves. Why was he here?

"What did that bastard want?" He sounded furious. He was.

Still not looking at him, she shook her head. "Nothing, really."

"Nothing, eh? So, what? Are you fucking him now?"

She turned to him, glaring daggers. "HOW DARE YOU!" She screamed as she stood and faced him. There was so much fury building up inside her that she wanted to hit him. But she didn't risk getting closer to him. He was still Gin-san, after all, and he continued to have a distinct effect on her. She hated him though, for what he tried to suggest. How dare he accuse her of such a thing. It was clear to her now, what he thought of her. She never did anything right in his eyes.

He stared at her face, which she knew was twisted into a disgusted expression. His eyes shifted to her breasts automatically, her sudden movement causing her them to shake vigorously. Swallowing, he snapped his head to the right and let out a breath. His hands raked through his curls with frustration. He shook his head and chuckled before looking back at her.

"You're right. I'm an idiot. A bastard, even." He curled his hands into fists and opened them, then repeated the gesture. "Sacchan," he sighed, "I'm sorry. I really am. I just-"

"You don't have to explain anything. Everything's clear to me." She didn't want to hear his excuses. Ultimately, his actions had already enlightened her. His apology was even worse. There was no need for him to put up a front.

"It is? Well, I-"

"Kagura-chan and Otsuu-chan have told me things. Even Zenzou clarified a lot. A-and I already know from what you've told me."

"Oh..." He nodded. "Then-"

Looking him straight in the eye, she whispered, "I think you should go now."

"What?" He asked dumbly.

"Please leave," her voice was steady. The longer he stayed, the more her resolve faltered.

He approached her without looking away. "Sacchan... Wait. We still need to talk."

"There's really nothing more to talk about." She watched his feet shuffle, his weight moving from one to the other.

"There is!" He tilted her chin up. "First of all, stay away from Bansai Kawakami. He is the enemy."

"What do you mean?"

"He belongs to the Kiheitai," he explained, "along with Shinsuke and the others." He lowered his arm now that he had her attention. "That man is dangerous. I've fought him before. He uses strings to wound and disable his opponents. That piece of wood hanging from his back is his weapon."

"He- Kawakami-san is with them? But he's a music producer. He does not seem to have a hidden agenda."

"Don't call him that," he snapped. "That bastard's no producer of stars. Well, he is Otsuu-chan's but it's obviously a disguise. What did he want with you? When did he start coming here?"

"Gin-san, he only wanted to create a musical career for me." She felt embarrassed at revealing this to him. "He's been around for years. He's never tried anything else."

"Years?" He cursed under his breath. "Be wary of him. We still don't know what they're up to."

"Maybe... Maybe I can talk to him and try to get information on Tsukki's whereabouts." Even after everything, she still tried to please him. "If I could follow him-"

"No," he said firmly. "Don't! It's not safe to do that. They'll be alerted to our intentions. There are other ways."

She nodded, feeling useless somehow. Since she joined their search for Tsukki, she had not contributed anything. Gin-san must be even more irritated with her.

She looked at him, prepared to face his resentment and was rattled by his steady, solemn gaze at her. He was subdued, despite her mention of Tsukuyo. His red eyes were darker, barely blinking. The intensity was unbearable yet she couldn't look away. Her heart threatened to tear out of her chest.

"I don't really know how to say this, Sacchan..."

"Gin-san..." she shook her head, afraid of his words.

"I should, you know, explain things." He looked drained, even sad. "I owe you that."

"It's okay Gin-san. I don't really expect you to." She knew she was running from the situation but hearing the truth from him would destroy her. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"So- Then- We're okay now? Just like that? Everything's all right between us?"

"You'll be fine," she assured him.

He smiled, still appearing unsure. "Well, does this mean that you don't hate me anymore-"

"I don't hate you, Gin-san."

"-and maybe that you still love me?" He was still staring at her, unnerving her.

"W-What?" She gasped, surprised by his bluntness. She could feel herself blushing, despite her vows to remain unaffected.

Holding her arms lightly, he drew her to him. "I know you heard me," he whispered, his face inches from hers. He was still looking in her eyes and Sacchan felt like he could read her soul. He pulled her closer, crushing her body to his. Their lips were almost touching. "Sacchan." The movement brushed his mouth against hers, accompanied by his tickling breath. His chest was hard against her breasts and she felt the rumble of his voice with them.

He snaked his arms around her waist, keeping their contact. Her entire body was aware of his touch. Her nipples hardened through the thin fabric of her dress. She tried to keep her breath steady but that was close to impossible at this moment.

"I still want you, you know," he murmured as he kissed her lightly, rubbing circles on her waist with his thumbs. Her lips trembled but she didn't dare move or speak. She was reminded of their first meeting here.

His mouth moved to her cheek, planting feathery kisses on her skin and gliding towards her neck. "You want me too. I can feel your body's reactions." He accentuated this by adding pressure with his chest.

She gasped again, overwhelmed by his touch. His simultaneous attentions on her neck, breasts and waist were awakening familiar sensations within her. Her rational mind was slowly shutting down, giving way to her body for control.

"Sacchan." He was face to face with her once more, now staring at her lips. Within seconds, he was kissing her.

His touch wasn't rough even as he pressed against her with an underlying urgency. Engulfing her lips with hunger to his own, he created sensual noises of wet flesh gliding against one another. His tongue coaxed her mouth to cooperate and he released a gratified sound from his throat when she started to kiss him back.

She had no chance against him and he knew that.

"I missed this," he told her. "I've been wanting to do this for weeks."

She didn't reply, instead focused on his lips on hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and played with the curls on his head. His presence filled the emptyness brought about by their parting. Her heart soared, elated by their reunion. Being in his arms and loving him with all her heart, it simply felt right.

They continued to kiss, only stopping at times to take in a few breaths. It seemed like hours, with the two of them clinging desperately to each other. No one spoke or dared to break off.

Sacchan didn't care anymore. Right now, she only wanted to remain in his arms and show him how much she missed his embrace. She poured all her love and frustration into their kiss. She belonged only to him. She cupped his face and smoothed his cheek as their tongues dug deeper in all directions. No matter what happens, Sacchan would give herself to him and no one else.

She moaned as he pulled back, hands on her shoulders. She followed his gaze to her chest, amazed that he had dragged her top to the sides without her noticing. The material had gathered at her waist, completely exposing her torso to him. The tips of her breasts jutted outward as if they were calling for his touch.

Instead of grabbing them as he usually did, he cupped her cheek with his hand, and heaved her forward with the other. He resumed their kiss, still tasting her with much gusto. At this moment, she was defenseless. She had lost her case against him, all her troubles had flown out of her head. What simply mattered to her was the undeniable passion between them. It made her feel wonderful and she was ready to give her all once more.

His fingers touched the underside of her breasts, barely grazing them. He drew back to gauge her reaction. "Sacchan, may I?" He waited for her permission, only going as far as to trail his fingerpads under her breasts. Her breath hitched as his thumbs mildy ran up and down the sides, making her anticipate his next move.

But he didn't go further and he only watched her face as he patiently continued to tease her. He was waiting for her approval, she realized. Biting her lip, she hesitated, feeling a remote uncertainty. He was Gin-san, she loved him and she wanted to be with him. Her body and soul were his. Still, this seemed wrong. It was rooted from lust and revenge, a determination built from the wrong reasons. His heart was someone else's and she had no right to thwart that love.

She grabbed his shirt, wanting to end her frustration, but he took this as mild consent to his actions. Boldly, he moved his thumbs to trace the skin around her nipples. "Do you want me to?" He was so close to crossing the line and she wanted him to do it. Her body was willing to jump at him but her mind, though almost turning irrational, was still fighting.

"Just say yes, Sacchan. I need you to say yes."

Her eyes pleaded with him. She didn't really know what she was begging - for him to stop or to go further. But as he drew closer, his body heat embraced her and sent her over the edge.

"Yes," she finally agreed. "Please, Gin-san. Yes!"

Wasting no time, he brushed the peaks, groaning along with her. He pressed them, massaging wayward circles and flicking every now and then. Sacchan tightened her hold on him, feeling more aroused than ever. She could hear herself moaning nonstop, enjoying his hands on her.

"You're still so sensitive," he whispered.

"Gin-san!" She screamed as he pinched moderately, making her writhe. With each grasp of his fingers, she could feel her center tightening in response. When he proceeded to lick a tip, blowing at it afterwards, she had officially lost it.

Sacchan leaned against him, unable to keep steady. Her long cries of "ohhhs" and "ahhhs" were reflexive.

"Not so much noise," he breathed in her ear. "Someone might hear. I don't want to be interrupted."

She bit her lip and nodded. She had no desire to be interrupted either.

"Brace yourself, Sacchan," he said before clamping his mouth on a breast and sucking deeply.

She had grabbed at his hair to release her extreme stimulation. There was no way to stop the satisfied sound from her lips. "Gin-san! N-not too s-strong!"

He ignored her and carried on. His tongue stroked her in all directions and swirled lazily against her breast. Lifting her, he moved to the couch and set her down, never letting go of his attachment to her nipple. He positioned her arms above her head, making her breasts swell towards him. Without pausing, he transferred to the other mound.

Being in that position, Sacchan was once again reminded of their first night together at the same place. Every little thing that had happened so far, was a repeat performance of that time. Gin-san, arriving out of nowhere, demanding that she confirm her desire for him. He persuaded her by kissing her and stimulating her breasts, even saying that he missed her. Though he was much forceful back then, there was still a strange feeling of deja vu in her veins.

She had given in then, believing his need for her. Now, look where that had gotten her. She was framed and used. What had she done to deserve it?

No matter how delicious it felt to be in his arms, Sacchan knew it was not the right place for her. She was a temporary replacement, used to fill the void of Tsukki's departure. It hurt, it hurt so much to admit but she had to face and accept the truth. Loving Gin-san was never easy, but even a small gesture of caring from him was completely worth it. But did he even have a care for her? His intimate actions were a facade, a ploy to get her to cooperate.

As he spread her legs and slipped his fingers in between her tender flesh to rub at the apex, she thought of his treatment of her at the hideout when he caught her spying. He displayed raw emotion, fury because of Tsukki's fate. Everything was about Tsukki for him. She recalled her conversations with Kagura, Zenzou and the others. They all confirmed her fears.

Gin-san blamed her for everything. Losing Tsukuyo changed him. He was devastated by her loss. They were in love and everyone around them was witness to that. A ceremony was planned for their union, a few weeks before Tsukuyo disappeared. He had gone mad tearing through Edo and Yoshiwara searching for her. There was no trace of his beloved. Only later did he realize Sacchan's own absence and instinctively linked her to the crime.

The wounds were fresh in her heart. She doubted they would ever heal. The pain had overcome the pleasure he was giving her. His touch made her feel nothing but regret. Regret that she had allowed things to get this far tonight.

Pushing him off her, she sat up in misery. The madness had to stop.

"That's enough, Gin-san. You don't have to do this anymore."

He panted. "What do you mean? Sacchan? What's wrong?"

"There's no need to convince me in this manner. It's all right. I've already decided to help you with getting Tsukki back. I've also told you everything I know." She covered her breasts, ashamed of her submissiveness to him.

"Don't start misunderstanding, Sacchan."

"I know you miss her, Gin-san, but please, don't take it out on me. Or is this because of Kawakami-san? I never helped him in any way. He's been gone for months. This is the first time I've seen him for so long-"

"You're completely missing the point-"

"Gin-san, please, I understand more than you think. All this is because of Tsukki, I know that. I promise, we'll get her back. I'm trying my best-"

"Sacchan, shut up! You're completely wrong!"

"I don't want to be used anymore. It's not right- For either of us..."

"I just told you I wanted you. I still do! Is that so hard to-"

"No! I don't want to do this anymore," she lied. It was for his sake. She knew his loneliness made him crave for physical affection and company. That made him desire her, the only one available. "You'll get through this. We'll find her soon enough and you can go back to her and reclaim your life."

"Sacchan..." He reached for her but she pushed him away.

She grabbed his left wrist and held his hand in hers, angling it towards the light. The hair on his ring finger shone in the brightness. Bitterly, she touched it, just to make sure it was truly there. He drew back this time.

"That string..." She couldn't remain clueless about it. "It's connected to Tsukki, isn't it?" Sacchan knew that much. Kagura and Shinpachi told her about a promise, a vow which the strand signified.

Gin-san nodded, staring at his finger. "It was a promise to return," he said. "A promise that no matter what happens, we'd come back to see each other." His voice was soft and a tender look appeared in his eyes.

She cupped his face with her hands, defeated. He had to remain strong, even if it was for someone else. She needed to be strong too. He needed her help. "Then wait for her, Gin-san," she whispered to him, feeling her insides crushed and aching. "Wait for her but don't get lost along the way."

Author's end note: *Evil laughing* Thanks for your feedback! kurasuchi, why yes, bwahahaha... stranger things have happened. Maybe there's a reason. an. co. xx, cool! :D Well... I think it's safe to say that we're only about halfway through the story at this point. F1-30 Neptune, he can't help it. ;) His brain is on overdrive. Mikishami, yeah, the result of taking things for granted. Maybe the tables have turned.