Heil Heidi I'm in the Room Also Birdemic

by Tommy's Crack is My Crack

A convergence of the greatest films of our generation as well as one TV show, this fic asks the question "can you really trust any dog?" If you haven't seen The Room, Heil Honey I'm Home, Heidi 4 Paws, or Birdemic, it will make the same amount of sense to one who has.

6. Chapter 6

CHAPTA SEX: (WARNING: DID CHAPTA DEELS WIF SRS ISSHOOS. AWKS :p. PS FLLAMMMERS STOPFLASSING!)

The next morning (and of courtse by 'next morning' I mean 'next Christmas," but is was the next morning that the Furrer and his future wife were free of each other's genitlulz), Tommy went to work, leaving Lisa to clean up the considerable mess they had left in the wake of their fuckaderby. Halfway through her Herculanean task, Lisa decided it was too much for her and called her mother over to help.

Instead of helping to clean up the vomit (which remained in The Room for forever more) they had a conversation.

"I don't love Tommy anymore."

"Whoa, wait, we were just talking about licking genitals, that's a pretty big subject change! In any case, Tommy is a good dog. He supports you! He is the Fuhrer!"

"I don't care."

"Why don't you love him? Tell me!"

"He's so boring!"

"He's killed 6 million pomeranians! That's pretty interesting!"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"K."

They then cleaned for a little while longer, but were nowhere near done before they had to take a break as the stench was drawing them dangerously close to the pointwhere they would need to be cleaning up their own vomit, which seemed counter-productive.

"You should listen to your mother" Lisa's mtoher arfed. "Nobody listens to me, and I'm dying!"

"Your not dying, moim" Lisa grumbled, so used to her mother's constant hypochondria. One week it's "i'm dying" the next "I'm really dying" the next "I have lyme disease" then "I have AIDS" then "help, he, help me, I was mauled by a puma!" the next "fhkdlhsdfhkdhks" which Lisa later learned meant "I have rabies!"

"I got the results of the test back" Lisa's mother replied nonchalantly. "I definitely. Have. Breast cancer."

Lisa took this disgustingly well. "you're going to be fine. Just take a salt tablet."
"K." her mother said, and her cancer was never mentioned again, so presumably the tablet worked.

"AnyARRROOOOO, I don't want to talk about it." Lisa arooo'd.

"he got drunk last night." Lisa barked, continuing to talk about it. "And he hit me."

"LE GASP!" Claudette exclaimed, her monocle dropping off her face in shock! "TOMMY DOESN'T DRINK! HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH HIS CHARACTER WITH THTESE SLANDEROUS LIES YOU WHORE!"

Then she left, NEVER TO BE HEARD AGAIN. (Because bitches should be seen, NOT HEARD.) lulz jk she comes back, don't worry, wouldn't want to loos THAT character!