I finally finished another chapter! (sob) I'm so touched! (Now go finish your f-ing essays!)
But I think I sort of screwed this chapter up. ;( Arisu-chan is sort of paranoid... I never meant to make her look like that...
Oh well, guess I'll have to try harder on the next one to explain why she felt this way...
And hurray! Makoto's finally here! (clap hands)
Arisu looked at the washed out boards of the front porch, a finger placed gingerly on the doorbell and a lump in her throat.
Oh God, she was HERE.
Iwatobi.
Her dad.
Home.
Somehow, she just didn't have the courage to press the doorbell. She wanted to turn and run, catch the next train to Tokyo and stay in her haven where she knew she would be safe. But she couldn't, could she?
Earlier she had told Midori, who was tagging along, to go home first because 'that would be unnecessary, I know the way, you don't need to tag along, seriously'; but now she deeply regretted it. At least if Midori was here, she could comfort her, do all the talking and back her up. Instead, she was left to fend for herself, defenceless and that made her felt weak. She hated feeling weak; it made her feel like a 5-year-old all over again. And she was already 17 for God's sake.
Come on girl, Arisu thought to herself, stop whining you bitch! You made this decision to come here, you take the responsibility. So just PRESS-THE-FUCKING-DOORBELL-IT-WON'T-BITE-
Riiinnnnnnnnnnggggg~
Arisu paled.
Fuck.
In her annoyance with herself, she had pressed on the doorbell, hard. As the ringing sound echoed in the still summer air, Arisu took a step backward, bracing for whatever that was to come. She wasn't ready, nuh-uh, hell she would never be ready to face her birth father. Never ever ever ever! Her legs felt like jelly and for one split second, Arisu considered the option of running away. Maybe it didn't really sound so bad after all…
Just then Arisu heard the sound of footsteps from inside the house and as she tensed, the front door swung open with a creak. A pale man who looked as if he was in his late-thirties stood in the entrance. He was tall but frail looking and had jet black hair that fell to his hazel eyes; he wore a plain white t-shirt which was splattered with paint and a pair of baggy trousers with similar results. But more importantly, he had a shocked look plastered on his face.
Right, so he wasn't expecting her…
Somehow that thought made her felt as if her heart was stabbed.
"Yuuko…?"
She nodded her head cautiously.
"Yuuko…" He, her father, Hayabusa, took a step forward with his arms and outstretched… and she took another step backward. Her father froze and blinked for a few times before retracting his arms and scratched his head. "Oh, um… Hi. It's been awhile."
He may have hid it well but she could still see the disappoinment in his eyes. And then it hit her. He was planning to hug her and she had backed away from it. No wonder he looked disappointed! Way to go girl, Arisu thought dryly to herself as she mentally facepalmed.
I'm already screwing it up, aren't I?!
"Yeah… um… It has really been awhile since I last saw you…" Arisu answered. She was never really a speaker and so was her father. She racked her brain for something to say to end the awkward silence, but couldn't think of any.
"Yuuko…why don't you come in first?" In the end it was her father who broke the silence. "Don't stand in the porch. Here, let me help you with your suitcase."
"Oh, nononono!" Arisu quickly held her suitcase tightly. "It's alright, I can carry it. You're sick, don't strain yourself."
"I'm not really that sick, you know." She heard him close the front door behind her. "You can put your things in your room. Or do you need me to show you the way?"
"No, it's ok. I…I know."
"Oh and your boxes are already in your room, call me if you have any problem." He smiled at her.
"Thanks…D-d-d-a…" Arisu winced, trying very hard to pronounce the word "Dad" like she used to. Her mouth formed the correct shape for the words to be voiced, but no words came out.
"I know, Yuuko." He gave her a sad smile which broke her heart. "I know everything, Yuuko. No, I mean, Arisu." Her name suddenly sound so wrong to her ears. "Just call me Hayabusa."
"Thank you… Hayabusa." She tried her very best to smile but her voice quivered. She turned at once as the tears were threatening to fall from her orbs, grabbed her suitcase and dashed up the stairs. It wasn't until she was safely locked in her rooms did she permit herself to relax. The tears fell down her cheeks at once as if it was a faucet turned on and she sat on the floor in a heap.
Damn! Why was she crying?! Because the old man was dying? Because she pitied him? If so, why did she have this feeling of betraying him?
No. Sakamoto Arisu. You've got to pull yourself together.
She took a deep breath and wiped her now wet face.
No more crying from now on. You're not a 5-year-old anymore, Sakamoto Arisu.
After calming down, she shifted her mind away from her father. Instead, she looked around her room.
It was still the same as she had left it 7 years ago.
The posters of her favourite anime was still there stuck on the wall, the little white lamp Hayabusa had bought for her from the antique store was still there, even her plushies and dolls were still there. The floor was clean and the sheets just changed, someone must have cleaned up her room before she came.
I wonder if he did all these for me.
Her cat ornaments reminded her of Nene and Koko who were still in her bag. She quickly dropped to her knees as she opened her bag, out sprung Nene and Koko. She smiled, the very first she gave since arriving.
It was then that something caught her eye.
A photo of her and a boy propped in a frame on her desk.
The boy had hair that resembled chocolate and eyes that were the colour of the finest emeralds. He had the sweetest smile she had ever seen and his personality matched his smile. He was the sweetest boy she had ever come across in life.
Makoto.
She smiled sadly at the photo.
He was doing very well in school, this she knew from Midori. In fact, she had made Midori help her with stalk- no, sleuthing Makoto. Makoto and Midori were in the same school, heck, even in the same class, so it wasn't really that hard. From what she gathered, Makoto still hangs out with his swimming buddies from elementary school; Nanase Haruka and Hazuki Nagisa. She had known Haruka through Makoto when they were still toddlers and Nagisa from the swim club.
I bet he's doing great. Probably so popular that every girl in school has succumbed to his cuteness and sweetness.
He was better off without me from the start…
A small voice popped up from within.
Arisu cringed at the thought and buried her head into one of her cats.
God, she was so messed up… She… she hated herself.
"What are you doing again?!"
"Hey, Hayabusa."
Arisu said as she walked into the living room where Hayabusa was currently lounging in. He was seated on the sofa and being the artist he was, he was working hard on his sketch book.
"Don't touch my things, Yuuko!"
"I want to go for a walk if you don't mind."
Hayabusa perked up from his seat and looked out of the window, frowning. "Well I suppose you can. Just don't get lost. Dinner's at 7."
"So now you'd rather lock yourself in that room of yours than eat dinner with your daughter, huh?"
"No, I won't."
She stopped in her tracks and turned.
"Throw them out. I said-"
"I brought two cats with me. I hope you won't mind? I swear they won't be a trouble to you, they're really good."
"THROW-THEM-OUT!"
"No problem. That is as long as you feed them and clean them and don't let them come into my workplace."
"Right, got it."
"GET OUT!"
With that, Arisu walked out of the living room, through the hallway and out of the front porch. As soon as she was out of the range of her house, she sprinted as if she had never done so before. All her previous façade was gone and she was once again agitated and fidgety.
She thought of the things she saw in the house. Every single god-damn-it item was the same as she had left it, the ornaments, the lights, the frames, the books… The only slight difference was that there were more artworks now on display than before, 7 years ago. The familiarity made all those memories came back. She didn't want to remember! God dammit! She was here to forget, to get over everything! Not become all upset again! She had dreaded coming back but she never thought the effects could be so… so overwhelming…
She couldn't breathe, she felt like she was drowning in the ocean. It was as if someone was strangling her, forcing all the air in her out. She was like a fish out of the water, suffocating in an alienate environment.
Arisu covered her ears as she fell to the cold hard ground. All the memories coming back to her at once.
Please… make it stop… make it all stop….!
Somebody…
Anybody…
Makoto-
"Onee-chan what are you doing crouching here?"
Arisu looked up to two pairs of eyes, one lake one brown.
A pair of twins?
"Oh. It's nothing."Arisu stuttered. "I… my ears were painful so I crouched to rest for a bit."
"Oh." The boy said. "Onee-chan, you're not from around are you?"
"What? How'd you? I never said anything…"
"Because you look pretty and we would've recognize you if you're from around." The girl giggled.
"Oh." Arisu replied stupidly. "Oh."
"My name is Ren and this Ran. What's your name, onee-chan?" The boy asked cutely.
Somehow the twin's cuteness must have infected her for she forgot all of her previous thoughts for the time being. She patted Ren on the head and smiled affectionately, they remind her of her twins, Bree and Benji. Oh, how she missed them.
"My name's Arisu. Sakamoto Arisu."
"Ren! Ran!" Just then, a voice bellowed from afar. "Where are you guys?"
"Oh, it's onii-chan."Ran giggled again.
"You guys better run along back to your onii-chan."Arisu laughed. "Or else someone's going to be punished!"
"Then we'll see you around onee-chan!" The twins chorused before running towards the source of the sound.
Arisu smile despite herself. Kids, she shook her head. Ah, how she wished she was still a kid sometimes. Them being carefree and everything.
She shook her head again, her mood lightened a bit by the encounter as she started to head back to the place she had ran away from previously. Maybe she had just overreacted, paranoid, everything's gonna be fine.
It had to, right?
"Onii-chan, onii-chan!" Ren and Ran ran to him and each hugged a leg of his.
Makoto laughed. He loved the two sincerely from the bottom of his heart, they could be so childish and yet so sweet at times like this.
"Now where were you guys just now?" He said in a false accusation tone.
"We met a very pretty onee-chan!" Ran whooped. "Are you sure that's not your girlfriend, onii-chan?"
Makoto chuckled. Kid nowadays…
"Hm… I don't know. Try describing her so I might guess."
"Well…"Ran scrunched up her brows and thought hard. "Onee-chan said her name is Arisu. Sakamoto Arisu. She has really long hair, a bit curly towards the end and her bangs sort of covers part of her eyes. It's a bit reddish… orange? And she has these really big pretty eyes that are brownish golden colour. She was very thin too."
"But she looked sad too." Ren added softly.
"Oh?" Makoto raised an eye brow. "Sad you say?"
"She looked as if she was about to cry."
Ren's words immediately made him think of someone, a friend of his; though he often wondered if they were truly friends, why would she leave without a word. She had long hair, a bit curly towards the end and bangs that would always get into her eyes. However, her hair colour was not reddish or orange, 'it's called strawberry blonde' she used to tell him. Her eyes were of a beautiful hazel colour, brownish with golden and green flecks.
And she always looked so sad.
Yuuko.
Nakamura Yuuko-
"Onii-chan?!"
He felt a poke on his left leg, he looked down to see Ran pouting at him. "Can we go home now?" Ran said still pouting. "I'm hungry."
Makoto immediately snapped out from his thoughts. He held his siblings, one in each hand and chuckled.
"Alright, let's go home then!"
As he escorted the twins home, he couldn't help but think of that girl again.
How he wished that girl was Yuuko.