Not the Décor

Comeuppance for my mischief came soon after Sirius and Tonks realized I masterminded their pranks. I suspected something from them when all of clothes were folded inside out, even my unmentionables. I felt slightly uneasy at the idea of Tonks and Siriur going though all of my clothes. I could see them trying on my robes over their clothes and doing a mach fashion show. Then, much to my surprise, they changed out all of my underwear for lacy panties. I went without that day. When I got home that evening they were in peals of laughter. I didn't have to ask why. "Thanks for the panties, but blue and lacy doesn't go well with my masculine physique."

Tonks was red from laughing. "Maybe not but it'd go wonderfully with your eyes." She raised an eyebrow inquiringly and said, "May we see them?" She managed to keep a straight face. "Sirius and I spent a while picking those out for you. It's so hard to catalogue shop for people." Judging by their expressions of barely contained glee, they spend quite a few late nights to orchestrate the Panty Plan. Perhaps if I had responded to turning my clothes inside out they would have been contented.

"Tonks and I got to talking while you were at work and it was interesting to hear that you told her where I kept my reading material. Not to mention you all but told me how to exact my revenge." Sirius had a proud look on his face. He always respected people that could pull off jokes undetected. "So, ante up, we want to see your knickers."

I smiled benignly. "I would have to be wearing some in order to show them to you." Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. One good thing about our intrigues was that it kept Sirius' spirits up. Grimmauld Place seemed larger and happier when the three of us were together. Tonks and I had an unspoken goal while at Grimmauld Place. We wanted Sirius to be happy. She felt horrible that he had to stay in there. She said that was one of her reasons for visiting all of the time. Sirius teased that we only hung out with him so we could chaperone.

The thought of Tonks purposefully flirting with me made me wild, which came across as mild indifference to most on-lookers. She would do small things like read curled up next to me on a couch; idly have her hand on my knee. I made a point of walking her out every night, but I didn't go for a kiss. I desperately wanted to envelop Tonks in a passionate… well, moment, but I forestalled. I had some half-formed ideas. I just needed to decide when and where to make my romantic move. We had a 'just friends' pretext to our relationship. There were times where that seemed to annoy Tonks where it helped keep my conscious clear. We were just friends who were a bit into each other.

Despite my decision to try my hand at love, I was still wrestling the application. I knew that I loved Tonks; I'd be a fool to say otherwise. I ached for her on days she was gone. I worried about her when she had duty. Saying that her smile was divine or that her eyes were brighter than several stars would be an understatement. She was, in a word, wonderful. I wouldn't call her perfect; she had faults and some rather strange quirks, but I found her quirks to be rather endearing.

I was spurred into action by a comment, or lack of a comment Tonks made during my next transformation. I was unusually eager when she entered my place. I jumped up and licked her. I blamed it on the moon's hold on my brain. Her talk that night turned towards men and her relationship with them. I got the impression that she had dated her share of guys. That wasn't a surprise; she seemed to draw everything and everyone to her, hence the constant tripping. The comment that forced my vague plan into a definitive idea pertained to kissing. She was telling me about her first kiss then she said as side comment, "Not too many men are really good kissers. I think I've had four really good kisses. Well, five" I lifted my head off her lap with interest. I wondered if I was one of those five. I guessed that I wasn't one of them after Tonks yawned loudly instead of indicating my place on her list.

I followed Tonks into the bedroom and got on the bed. I was pulling back the covers when she started to undress. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. Tonks was smiling when she crawled into bed. If I hadn't been wolfish that night, I would have done my best to seduce Tonks. Then I realized that if I weren't wolfish, she wouldn't be in the bed with me. I debated if that was my doing. I had told her we couldn't be more than friends. I regretted saying it, especially when moments came up that reminded me how much I'd like to be in a relationship with her.

The next morning I decided to enjoy my time in bed with Tonks. I woke up to her eyes taking in the details of my scared body. She looked at me with a curious expression, it wasn't disgust or revolt, but intrigue and, though I hardly believed it, desire. "How do you feel?" Tonks asked in a low voice.

"Better than usual. Having you here… it makes waking up easier." Tonks smiled at me causing my stomach to squirm pleasantly. "Nymphadora," She looked daggers at me. "I can't have you in my bed and call you by your surname." I kissed Tonks' forehead and continued before she interrupted me. "You have no idea how much your presence helps me stay more… human when I transform." I pulled Tonks close, keeping the blanket between us. I thought I heard a sigh but I couldn't tell if it was of relief or exasperation.

Our eyes met, I wanted to kiss Tonks, but I thought it'd be inappropriate at that moment. "I would do anything for you." She said in a wispy voice. "I always want to be your- friend, Remus." Her hand was on my back rubbing it idly. Then, as if on its own volition, Tonks' hand ran down my bare side and up towards my chest. I let out a moan of desire. I couldn't believe my body was behaving so… primal. Then, as if suddenly realizing the intimacy of her action, Tonks slipped out of bed like a wet bar of soap.

I knew that I wanted to ask her out, but I wasn't sure if this was the time or place. The wolf in me kicked my mouth into gear. "Do you want to go out with me on Friday?" I asked in a rushed voice.

Tonks, who was topless, glanced over her shoulder at me. "You mean on a date?" She clarified.

I wasn't sure if she'd want a date. "On a friend-date." I said decided that a neutral term would be good.

I heard a laugh rise in Tonks' chest but it didn't escape her lips. "Can't Friday. I have duty. How's your Saturday?" I can't believe she had to ask. My schedule was as open as the top of a Quidditch stadium. I said Saturday would be great. We agreed to meet up at the Leaky Cauldron around seven. I wanted to try my hand at time advancement spells to make our date…friend-date come faster. I was beside myself as Saturday approached. I couldn't believe my audacity. I knew that the wolf had been an influence in asking her out, but part of me knew that, for once, the wolf in my was acting for the best.

Sirius was excited to hear I asked Tonks out on a date. He had been low on things to meddle with and a date was just what he needed to feel involved in someone else's life. "We're going at as friends." I explained for the hundredth time. "Just drinks, maybe dance, then we'll go our separate ways." I had plans to work things so she'd go back to Grimmauld Place with me, but that was quite uncertain. I thought I should mention it to Sirius before the time came. "Would it be bothersome for you if she came back here with me?"

I knew that Sirius would have a snarky retort and I wasn't disappointed. "Counting your Doxies before they hatch?" I threw a pillow at him. "Of course I have to make sure that you only have the most noble of intentions." A smirk was playing on Sirius' face. "I can't have you taking advantage of dear Nymphadora, can I?" Sirius goaded me for the better part of the night making comments about my intentions and protecting the family honor. I tolerated his jibes with ease. My mind was a bit more concerned with how the night would unfold.

I was almost late for our date. Sirius insisted that I model my selection of outfits. He spent a good two hours trying to talk me into leather pants. "How do you expect her to know you have such a nice bum if you don't flaunt it?"

"I'm not wearing leather pants." I smirked impishly. "What makes you think she hasn't seen my bum before?" I usually refrained from such jocular remarks, but Sirius' reactions were always worth shedding a bit of dignity. Thinking of shedding reminded me of a critical subject. "If Tonks comes back with me, please don't come barging in, Padfoot." I didn't always mind the large black dog running into my room, but the idea of him doing that in the middle of a potentially romantic or passionate situation made me squirm in ways that were not connected with pleasure.

Sirius promised to bugger off if Tonks came back with me. "I don't think you need the 'if' though." He was smirking at me. "She's been hankering for you. Why do you think she hangs around? I don't think it's for the décor." I muttered something about not making assumptions. "Well, I hate to bring an end to our fun but it's already seven, mate."

I swore and stood up. "Padfoot, you're scum." I said looking at my watch. It was a quarter till. I smiled at my best mate and left. The Leaky Cauldron was packed but Tonks was easy to spot. Her pink hair called out to me like a white spot on Snape's robes. I went unnoticed by Tonks until I slipped my arm around her waist. She was caught off-guard and knocked over a bowl of some sweets. I was extremely flattered when Tonks eyed me and said that I looked good. "I'd be lying if I said you looked good." I smiled vaguely. Tonks raised an eyebrow. "You are the most beautiful flower in the field. Good wouldn't do you justice." Apparently, Tonks wasn't use to such blatant flattery. She mumbled an 'oh thanks.'

At my suggestion, we went to Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. I knew that we were adults and could go anywhere, but ice cream seemed fun, light-hearted…it was Tonks. We ordered a banana split to share. Watching Tonks eat was quite hypnotic. Her mouth had the beauty and elegance of a swan gliding on water. Tonks' lips brought the topic of sex to mind. "I couldn't help but notice that… that you change the subject when you start to talk about your dating history. Well everything past your sixth year." The words came out without first checking with my brain for approval.

Tonks' reply was ambiguous. "I guess there are things that should be discussed, when both people can talk." She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I feel a bit self-centered, always talking about myself. I wanted to reserve some conversations for a time when you'd be able to tell me your stories." Tonks' eyes were expectant. She wanted me to share… my mind started to swim in the implications her statement held. Reciprocating that kind of information was very intimate, very common when dating.

I took a bite of ice cream to allow myself time to think. In a moment of grace, the ice cream dribbled down my chin. I laughed at myself good-naturedly. "I was worried that you were scared to open up to me." That wasn't quite right as she had opened up to me a great deal. I blustered on. "Or thought I would be too judgmental if you told me things you considered…private." I took in a deep breath hoping this didn't sound as awkward spoken as it did in my head. "I accept you wholly, and your past- including your sexual past is just that. The past. I mean I wouldn't expect you to be a virgin." If there were a point in my life where dying was a preferable route to living that would be the point right there. "I mean…" I had to salvage this if I wanted her to even talk to me after this. "I wouldn't think any more or less of you either way. If you were a virgin or had slept with…" I tried to think of an absurd number. "Fifty men."

This conversation moved from awkward to excruciating. I loved my ability to muck things up. "I'm not sure what you want me to say." Tonks admitted. "Next time it comes up in a conversation, I won't skate over the subject. I do prefer a quid pro quo approach to sharing." I was getting somewhere. She wanted me to divulge, vulnerable. Great. I told her to ask me something. Tonks bit her lip for a moment then asked, "Have you ever been in love? If so, who was it?"

Tonks' eyes were on me sparking with intensity. Her question in and of itself was revealing. She didn't care about sex, only love. "The first woman I fell in love with, where it wasn't just infatuation-" This was an important distinction for me as I had been fascinated by Lily Evans for most of my school days. "Was named Farah." I sighed. It had been so long since I said her name. Sirius extracted the story from me after he and I were reunited. My relationship with Farah had been quite pleasant, most relationships are. It was the break-up that had been hard. Hearing that she was with me for so long out of pity mingled with shame made me question the entire basis of our relationship. I didn't tell Tonks all of this, I gave her the Wizard's Digest version. I finished with an unintended tone of self loathing as I said, "I think she was better off without me."

Watching Tonks' eyes grow in disbelief and hearing her say "Don't say that. Any woman would be lucky to have you," made my heart rate jump to that of a hummingbird. Other parts of me stirred as she said, "You're the type of man that women spend their nights awake fantasizing about, doubting they exist. You're the type of guy that they write those trashy romance novels about." I stammered a quiet response saying that women couldn't possibly fantasize about me. Tonks smiled earnestly and said, "I can't speak for other women, but I know one woman who does." Florean Fortescue came to usher us out a few moments after that. I paid and pretended not to hear his comment on inviting him to the wedding. Tonks and I walked back to the Leaky Cauldron hand in hand, my heart skipping as we chatted about different aspects of Diagon Alley.

Dancing with Tonks was almost too much for me. She was a sensual dancer; albeit, she did manage to trip more than once. I think the second trip was intentional as her hands managed to find parts of me she usually didn't touch. Most of our dancing was quite exuberant as the music playing that night was jazz. After a few songs, the exact number was lost to me as I was caught up in the feeling of Tonks' body against mine. We sat down out of exhaustion and I went for drinks. My mind was buzzing and I was quite sure that alcohol had little to do with the nice sensation going through my body.

It took me a few moments to notice that Tonks was talking to another man as I approached our table. I couldn't see her face, but her anger was palpable. The vaguely familiar man had short hair that did not suit his round, pudgy face. He was a broad man, quite larger than myself. I set the drinks down on the table and slipped an arm around Tonks' waist. "Anything I can help you with?" I said in the calmest voice I could muster. The man opened his mouth with a vicious look on his face. Tonks pulled away from me and punched him dab smack in the jaw then she turned to me saying thanks. Her thanks was in the form of a kiss on the cheek. "I think you handled that on your own." I said benignly.

Tonks shot me a look and said, "Dawlish was being rude." I had a sudden 'oh' moment and connected the dots. He fit the mental image I had of him. Then I remembered him hanging around with Macnair; they seemed to be friends. I mentioned that it had also been rude to break into her apartment. I smirked slightly until I noticed the ashen look on Tonks' face. "Remus… can I…" Her voice trailed off as if she couldn't bring herself to utter the thoughts tumbling through her head.

I put my hand on Tonks' hand in a reassuring way. "Of course you can. Anything to keep that creep away from you." We finished our drinks in a bit of a rush. Dawlish had run off to the bathroom, but I had a feeling he'd be out soon. I leaned over to Tonks and whispered, "Let's go to Hyde." She nodded her head once and we left hand in hand. Going to Hyde Park wasn't part of my initial plan for the evening, but it turned out to be an interesting adventure. We sat together and watched the people, the stars and… the streaker. We returned to Grimmauld Place in high spirits.

Sirius tried his best to make thing awkward. He first asked Tonks why she was there. She was still going on about the streaker when she seemed to remember that she had a legitimate reason to be there. "Dawlish." She said simply. Sirius then went on to offer her a spare bedroom. "I'm staying with Remus." Tonks said in a determined voice. I went upstairs before things got awkward… more awkward that is.

I figured that I had two or three minutes to put things in place. I was thankful that I prepared… two nights beforehand. I waved my wand to light some candles I dispersed through the room. I double checked the record on the player. I knew Sirius well enough that he'd find it hilarious to switch something around like that. I had the perfect song picked out. Por Una Cabeza. It was a song that Farah loved. She grew up speaking Spanish and introduced me to a lot of music and poetry that originated from other countries. I felt a twinge of guilt for recycling a song like that, but it hadn't been a particularly important song for us, she merely introduced it to me.

I pressed my ear against the door listening for footsteps coming up the stairs. I heard a set that wasn't heavy enough to be Sirius and was too heavy to be Kreacher. I dashed across the room and leaned against the mantel hoping to appear calm, relaxed, debonair instead of nervous and extremely unsure of myself.

Tonks knocked at the door and I flicked my wand so it'd open for her. She stepped in with an expression of wide-eyed shock etched on the heart-shaped face I longed to kiss. After shutting the door she said, "You planned this." It wasn't an angry accusation, merely a statement of fact. I didn't answer her. Explaining that I had this moment, this night in my head for over a month seemed a bit over the top. I started the record player and pulled Tonks into my arms leading her in a slow dance.

I didn't need my wolfish instincts to know Tonks was aroused when I kissed her. Our lips locked in kiss that redefined my idea of passionate. I didn't think it was possible to simultaneously forget one's name and know with striking clarity one's identity. For the first time since my childhood I didn't' identify myself as a werewolf or as a human, but as a lover. The name Remus John Lupin meant nothing unless to me it was passing through Tonks' sweet lips. In those precious hours I couldn't tell you who the Minister was or even quite remember that we had one, but I could tell you how many freckles Tonks had on her nose… how many little scars she had on her hands…how her lips felt against my body. All thoughts I had of my desire for her being unrequited flew out the window faster than an owl out of Hades. We were unbidden and raw together. Exploration and tenderness occupied the night and a good part of the morning. There were a hundred moments where I could have confessed my love for Tonks, but I withheld. Sexual exploration was one thing…but confessing my love might have driven her away. Falling asleep with her in my arms and content was better than a climax, better than any good feeling I had up to that point in my life. I was home.