Nerves ran high as Fenrir ushered his followers into a small room and locked the door. No one appeared to be at their ease so I did not feel as anguished at not being able to force my face into a calm expression. I meandered toward the back of the room with McMann next to me and Whitmore just a few people away. Exchanging a brief glance with both of them, I carefully tucked my wand into the sleeve of my jacket. The others had abandoned their wands and last protection. Would I raise my wand to protect my two friends? I did not know if I would even raise my want to protect myself.

"We have a traitor in our presence," Fenrir announced to the room at large. "One of you is not our ally." From the center of the crowd, Fenrir started to slowly turn as if looking for a crack in fine china. His rotation came to a stop when he got to my section of the room. "You," he said with a dangerous growl. I did not stir. Acknowledging him would lead to automatic assumption of guilt. At least if I died just then it would be right after a glorious evening with Tonks.

The crowd parted in front of me as Fenrir scowled at each person he passed. He stopped right in front of me with his eyes narrowed. "I was sure I'd be doing this to you, Lupin," Fenrir said with slight disappointment in his raspy voice. Instead of the blow I had been anticipating, his claw-like hand grabbed McMann by the front of his shirt. "I expected much more out of you, McMann."

Dragging the stunned looking man towards the center of the room, Fenrir said gruffly, "This scum thought he could return to civilized society." There were jeers from the crowed. "Remember what I said when you came crawling here, you piece of bilge?" There was a pause, just a short one, where Fenrir seemed to wait for some response, a plea for mercy, but none came. There was a blow, then Fenrir growled, "Loyalty or death, that's what it was."

The groans from McMann were alternated by cracks and thuds from where Fenrir made contact. After several hits, McMann tried fighting back. A burly man, he would have done well against most in hand-to-hand fighting but Fenrir was an animal. Once the first retaliatory blow made contact with Fenrir's jaw, the beating changed to an execution. I couldn't tell if Fenrir would have settled for maiming McMann before he tried to defend himself. I would never know. The crowd swelled with excitement at the increased violence until –

None of us were expecting to see that much blood spurt from McMann's neck. A collective gasp came from the mass as Fenrir sunk his teeth into the shorter man's throat and devoured him like an afternoon snack. The first to recover from the gore managed perfunctory cheering and hooting. The disgust on my face was unnoticed by those around me. The blood trickling down Fenrir's chin dripped onto the ground as he gave those closest to him a threatening stare.

When the door was opened, we all filed out. Whitmore made his way towards me but his path was blocked by Fenrir. "Lupin," he said flecking blood on my face. I tried not to scowl. "Try not to get visitors too often. I'd hate to have to send someone after your bird while she's protecting the kiddies at Hogwarts."

"I set that bird free some time ago – I can't help it if she keeps flying back for more," I said with a lopsided smirk. Fenrir approved of insinuations about Tonks and patted my shoulder in an almost approving way. Oh how my insides squirmed as I watched him walk away. How did a werewolf have knowledge of Tonks' assignment for the Ministry? I wanted to run to Hogsmeade and tell her to be on her guard but I imagined my movements would be watched.

Whitmore finally made it to me and gave me a look that said he wanted to talk. "Tomorrow," I said quietly. He nodded curtly and walked past me towards a fire where others were drinking and keeping warm. I found my makeshift bed and stared at the night sky. The idea of Tonks' location and her relationship to me being known by none other than Fenrir was causing my entire body to tense. Why did I let her stay? If she were hurt because of her visit, I would be to blame.

The next day was a subdued affair. Whitmore and I were told to try our hand at panhandling again. It was the full moon that night so no one was up to much in terms of difficult assignments. When we were safely nestled in a spot next to noisy traffic, I turned to him and growled, "You're a damned fool. You had no right."

Whitmore didn't object to my accusation but offered, "I was only trying to help," as his sole defense. "She really does love you," he added meekly. I refused to engage in that conversation again so I did not respond. "Are you going to stay after what happened to McMann?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Are you dense?" I asked in an angry undertone. "Don't trust anyone here with any plans you might have – not even me." I accepted change from a passing car with a nod then turned to face Whitmore. "If you're going to do it, don't tell anyone, just disappear and hide." It was the only advice I could give without divulging too much.

Whitmore had a frown on his face. "Is that your plan?" he asked in a sharp voice. "I've never really understood why you're here."

I was running out of feeble excuses. I had thrown every reason I gave the larger group but Whitmore wasn't buying into those lies. "It's personal – I don't have to explain myself to you." I was seething and felt the combined emotions from the violence the previous night and my anxiety for Tonks bubbling to the surface. "What did you expect when you came here? A fraternity with your furry friends?" I scoffed at the hurt look on Whitmore's face. "If you were, then you are a fool. I at least came here with eyes wide open."

Alienation, it was my tool when I needed to create a safe emotional distance. My cruelty worked too well. After that harsh conversation, Whitmore kept a distance from me. I lost my only thread of protection in this gang of miscreants. It was for the best.

That month was the longest torture I ever experienced as my time as a werewolf. Fenrir was on the verge of violence at every turn and was often pushed over the edge. Thankfully, he did not escalate to the horrifying violence that ended McMann. Many in the group were becoming just as feral and vicious as their leader. For the first time I was eager to meet with Kingsley. In previous months it had been a necessity and a pleasantry – but this time I was in desperate need for information and news.

I arrived at our usual pub a quarter of an hour early. The barkeep looked up and asked, "The usual?" I nodded and took a seat at the table I had occupied with Kingsley for several months now. I looked around hoping that he would also be early. My knee hopped under the table in the long minutes until Kingsley entered the dark bar with a nod to the bartender and headed to our table.

"Remus," he said by way of a greeting. Kingsley's eyes swept over my anxious exterior and gaunt face before asking, "What's the matter?"

I didn't immediately respond. Despite my urgent need to know if Tonks was safe, I didn't know if I should start with the reason or just get to the point. When I opened my mouth, the words that streamed out were of Tonks and her wellbeing. "I just need to know if she's safe in Hogsmeade," I finished with a pleading look to Kingsley.

"What makes you think she's not safe in Hogsmeade? I know she's there with that pig Dawlish but the other two aurors will watch out for her." Kingsley wore a look of deep concern.

I sighed knowing that I'd have to start with her visit. "Nymphadora came to Leeds and sought me out before the last full moon." Kingsley's face dropped to one of slight disbelief. "A person I had discussed my personal life with took it upon himself to visit Tonks and tell her, well, I don't know what but it spurred her to come here."

Kingsley put his hand up to stop me. "How did he know where to find her or who she is?" My face reddened slightly which was all the information he needed. "Fool! How could you trust the people here? You're lucky she hasn't been ripped to pieces."

"I was doing my duty – making headway with some of the lot Dumbledore sent me to live with." I let that thought sink in for a few moments before going on. "I didn't tell you this to get a lecture on how I'm carrying out my mission. She came and stayed an evening with me. I couldn't make her go. Have you ever tried making her do something?" I asked with my brow raised.

Kingsley smiled and let out an almost sinister laugh. "Even as her boss it wasn't the easiest task," he conceded.

"I did manage to have her visit go mostly unnoticed. Two blokes, neither I'd trust more than a niffler with gold, managed to see her and likely ran off to tell Fenrir. I thought I was going to get it the night afterwards…" Telling Kingsley about the attack on McMann and seeing his reaction was nearly as bad as living through it the first time. "Fenrir approached me afterwards and warned me about having future visitors. He knew she was watching Hogwards, Kingsley. I… I don't know how," my voice broke and I felt less than masculine tears well in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I shouldn't have been harsh before. I never imagined your mission would be like this," Kingsley's voice trailed off then he cleared this throat. "I can assure that Tonks is safe and I'll see that she knows of your safety as well. There is another matter I must discuss with you. Dumbledore will be calling you to Hogwarts to protect the castle. He didn't give me a date but said when you get the message, bring everything you care about and head to McGonagall's office."

I nodded curtly feeling glad that I had an end in sight to the miserable lifestyle of recent months. "Will he send Fawkes?"

"That's what he lead me to believe," Kingsley smiled again, "He's never exactly overt with his messages." I laughed, perhaps the first laugh since spending that evening with Tonks, and agreed heartily.

The best thing I can say about Dumbledore's message was that I was not around many other people when his patronus, in the corporeal form of Fawkes, told me to leave. In the few moments Smith and Whitmore had to exchange looks of confusion, I stunned them both and obliterated their recent memory. I left the alley with a pop and arrived in the familiar streets of Hogsmeade. Deciding that my personal effects weren't necessary for the night, I tapped my backpack and sent it to my house. The gates of Hogwarts were sealed against visitors. I was only there for a matter of minutes Hagrid came to me from the other side of the fortified wall.

"'ello Professor Lupin," Hagrid called to me. "Professor Dumbledore said you'd be by tonight to visit the castle." The gate opened and I passed through with a quick nod to thank Hagrid.

Professor felt like a part of my life long-abandoned. "Evening, Hagrid. How are you?" I asked knowing that Hagrid could fill the remainder of our walk with a recount of life at Hogwarts. He seemed to know something of the mission I had been on because he avoided asking questions about what I'd be up to. Hagrid left me in the Entrance Hall and said he had to attend to bow-truckles he found earlier that day.

I took a hidden staircase to make it to McGonagall's office undetected by students. Some, I knew, would remember me from three years previous but younger students might find the sight of a bedraggled man wandering the halls frightening at best. I opened the door and asked, "Am I late?" to the room at large. Tonks was seated in one of the three chairs in front of Minerva's desk. She twisted around in her seat and wore a grin that almost stopped my heart. "Hello, Nymphadora," I said politely, trying to hide my jubilation at seeing her well and unharmed.

"It's Tonks," she said with a wink. "And you are late," she added before turning back to Miverva who was wearing a slightly reproachful look on her face. I recognized it all too well after not only having caused it and seen her cast it to many students. Taking the seat next to Tonks, I looked to Minerva and Filius for instruction while fighting to keep an even face.

"Glad you could make it, Remus," she said in a brisk but not unkind voice. "Dumbledore wants us to patrol the corridors and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. The two of you," she said pointed between Tonks and me, "are best suited as partners." I pretended that there wasn't a deeper subtext to that statement. "Filius and I will keep guard together."

I was in the middle of suggesting a general route for Tonks and me when Bill Weasley came into the office. The smile on his face suggested the utmost happiness and contentment in his life. "Hello, Professor McGonagall, Flitwick. Been a while since you called me into your office," he said with a grin. "Tonks, Remus," he added with a nod to each of us.

McGonagall let a smile flicker across her face before greeting Bill and telling him, "You should accompany Remus and Tonks - they might need a chaperone."

Tonks joked that she hadn't been caught snogging in the halls for quite a while. I felt a stirring in my stomach at the thought and was glad Bill responded with teasing. "Come on you two, let's get to patrolling," he said opening the office door for us to leave.

Striking up a conversation with Bill was less problematic than trying to thinking of something to say to Tonks. "Have you talked to Charlie lately?" I thought the wedding might lead to too much conversation and asking about work at the bank would be a bit dull.

Bill's response revealed more information than I had been expecting. "Heard from him last week. Turns out he started seeing some bloke." I let out a quiet hmm as we walked. Tonks' had a grin on her face that was either from knowing about this and wanting to say more or, perhaps, it was pleasant company making her face light up like that.

I recalled a cheeky statement she said to me once about my own unabashed grin at Grimmauld place but decided it wasn't an appropriate time to flirt with Tonks. Recalling myself to our purpose, I said, "Let's go this way," and pulled back a tapestry. Bill walked past me with a smirk then Tonks followed. She managed to brush against me, most likely on accident, but it was enough to make me want to have several hours alone with her in the dark corridor. Duty pulled my mind into the present as we ascended the staircase.

After a short time, Bill suggested we explore the west side of the floor and he'd sweep the east. I succumbed to my desire to speak with Tonks. "I'm relieved to see you're well," I said glancing at her as we walked.

Tonks thudded into me with her arms wrapping around me. "I was sick from worrying about you. Dawlish said there'd been an attack and I thought it might have been you." I had expected casual discussion, not a passionate embrace in the hallway.

Patting Tonks lightly on the back, I asked, "How did he know about that? I don't think the Ministry has a spy there – at least I didn't recognize anyone." The thought worried me and cast doubts on Whitmore. I broke the hug with Tonks and said, "At least we're both safe. And now you can appreciate why we can't-"

"Don't start with that," she said with a huff to her voice.

We met up with Bill and continued our watch without further mention of our feelings. The night was looking to be a dull affair until we heard shouting on the 7th floor. I ran ahead with my wand out and found Ron, Neville, and Ginny had the look of panic that did not bode well.

"Bill, Tonks, Professor Lupin!" Ron called out. "What are you doing here?"

Ginny gave him a harsh look and said, "Malfoy let a group of death eaters into the castle. They mentioned the Astronomy Tower but the way is… is obscured by darkness."

I saw a large silver animal shoot past me and turned to Tonks for a brief moment. "Just sent a message to Minerva," she said as if it had been the obvious thing to do in that moment.

"We should go after them," Neville said demonstrating the same pragmatic thinking Tonks often did. Bill led the way as we ran towards a different set of stairs. We were around the corner and halfway down the hall when Tonks could be heard catching up. I felt her hand close around mine for the smallest of moments before she let go and overtook me in our race to danger.

The death eaters weren't expecting us – I found it hard to believe they thought a few students had been the only protection in the hallways that night. Bill shot off the curse which alerted them to our presence. Fear, true fear, struck me on the chest when my eyes locked with Fenrir's and his growl, while not audible from my distance, was visible on his gruff face. Knowing the level of savagery he could reach made me want to send the students away but I knew we'd be overwhelmed without them. One of the black-robed figures, Gibbon perhaps, ran up the Astronomy Tower staircase while the rest of us fought on.

Minerva and Filius met us moments after the fight broke out and I was thankful for their help in the battle. I couldn't call any of the death eaters particularly skilled but we were greatly outnumbered. Ginny, Ron, and Neville all held their own remarkably well which relieved part of my worry for their safety. I had to be quite focused on my own survival as I barely dodged a killing curse. After it flew past my ear I heard a thud behind me. Turning for the briefest moment, I saw the same bloke who ran up the stairs minutes before dead behind me.

The next thing I saw was Filius making a break for the stairs shouting, "I'll get Severus!" The jinxes he sent over his shoulder temporarily slowed a few of the death eaters. In the briefest respite from jinxes hurling to and fro, Fenrir lunged toward Bill, finally entering the fray.

I heard his cry of "such a pretty face" before the yell Bill gave. Tonks, wonderful Tonks, had a clear enough mind to stun the ferocious beast off Bill. Even the death eaters looked as if they were hiding their disgust at the sight of Bill's attack.

Our fight continued with death eaters entering and leaving the skirmish. It wasn't until a small group of them had run up the stairs that Neville tried to follow and was thrown back. He did not stir after he hit the ground but I could see his chest rising and falling. Ron ran toward the staircase and tried his best to unblock the path. There wasn't a visible barrier but it was impossible for any of us to get through. Our attempts to make it up the stairs were interrupted by the remaining death eaters' earnest attempt to kill us.

The rest of the fight passed with a blur of hexes and confusion. Snape ran past us twice – once up the stairs and once out with Malfoy. Slowly the death eaters began to peel away from the fight. When they had all left, none of us were able to take flight after them. Harry had given them chase but those of us who remained needed to tend to the injured. I shepherded Bill's bloody body to the hospital wing feeling horribly responsible for the act of my kind.

Poppy was alerted to our arrival by Minerva's shout. With a slight scream of terror at so many injured being brought in, Madame Pomfrey went to work straight away. She had me lay Bill on a bed toward the middle of the room and directed others as we poured in. "It was a werewolf attack," I told her briefly making eye contact with the woman who cared for me after many transformations. "Greyback did this," I added almost defensively.

Summoning a half dozen potions and several bandages, she got to work on Bill. The others could wait as their injuries lacked the same amount of blood and damage. None of us were able to think, let alone talk, until Harry and Ginny entered the Hospital Wing. Harry's horror at Bill's appearance paled at the proclamation that Dumbledore was dead.

I couldn't help but shout out as I realized that our anchor was gone. Harry's proclamation that Snape was the one that finished Dumbledore cut deeper than I could have expected. This was what losing felt like.

Harry walked us through the night's events, pulling out every detail we could recall of the fight and of Snape's movement in and out of night's events. Ron, Tonks, and I tried our best to give a cohesive narrative but the details were confused and hard to string together.

Arthur and Molly burst into the now crowded hospital wing causing all eyes to go to them. Molly's cry and Arthur's look of non-comprehension were painful to watch but their pain seemed to dull what I felt. Sobs turning into arguing between Molly and Fleur as the two witches discussed Bill's future. Fleur, who had seemed rather shallow before, declared she and Bill would still be married and could have the life they wanted together.

Watching Fleur tend to Bill reminded me of Tonks and the care she gave me when I was ill. Nymphadora must have had the same thought because the next thing I was aware of was her shaking me by the front of my robes telling me that we could do the same - that we should be together. I felt suddenly naked and exposed as several pairs of eyes, belonging to people I did not want involved in my private affairs, turned towards the two of us.

The attempts I made to disengage from the topic and convince the intrusive crowd that we could not be together were in vain. Minerva, Molly, and Arthur were deaf to my words and only encourage Tonks down the path to pursue me further. I was grateful when Hagrid entered the room and reminded us that there were more important matters than my love life to tend to.

I sat in a chair not too far from Tonks while others left the room. Neither of us made eye contact for a few minutes. When I saw we were the only non-Weasleys in the room, I placed a hand on Tonks' shoulder and said, "Let's give them some privacy." Her eyes were red but I couldn't venture a guess whether the tears were for Dumbledore or me. I led Tonks out of the Hospital Wing but wasn't sure where we should go.

Her mind must have been on the same line of thought because the next words out of her mouth were, "Where are you staying tonight, Remus?"

Of course she must have guessed that I could not return to Leeds. Not after tonight, not after Fenrir saw me fighting with wizards. "May I stay with you?" I asked hoping that she would not hold a grudge after my latest denouncement of our relationship. She nodded and slipped her hand in mine. I only had the energy to say, "No… we can't." My heart wasn't in the argument anymore.

In our silent walk to Hogsmeade, I had to wrestle the emotions Tonks stirred in me. It wasn't just her words that were tugging at my heart but her persistence. Every time I rejected Tonks I expected to never have the opportunity to love her again. Yet each time she was back and even more insistent that she loved me. Never did I expect to find a love like hers.

When we got to the flat she had been sharing with her colleagues, it was empty and her room had been tossed. Tonks commented on the absence of the others as she let me into her room. Next to her bed I saw a photo of us and smiled. "You still have this," I said gesturing to the photo. "It feels like a lifetime ago."

Tonks got that blazing look she always did when about to plow into her love for me. "It's something I'd like to have again… I know that you're older than me and a bit dangerous," she smiled almost wickedly at the thought then continued, "I'd be thicker than a beater's bat if I didn't… the thing is, I love you and that won't go away. I love you with all your faults, all your mistakes, everything."

I let the words sink in. Surely she had proven it to me enough times for me to believe her love was true. I felt something in me break as I let go of fear, insecurity, and most of all I let go of the wolf. I decided to cling onto love and hope instead of the harsh barriers I had around my heart. In the morning, I would tell her in the morning.

I forestalled the moment by saying, "Let's talk about this in the morning. I can't right now." Tonks didn't argue the postponement, perhaps she saw the change in my eyes. Instead she offered me a pair of my own pajamas and my stuffed rabbit. Despite the loss we suffered that night, it was no small comfort to sleep next to Tonks.

We were forced awake by three men with wands pointed at us. Two I recognized: Dawlish with an ugly sneer on his broad face and the bloke Tonks was out with on New Year's. The third I did not know but assumed he was the fourth auror stationed there. The tattooed bloke made brief eye contact with me and I saw something more in the glance than recognition. Was it jealousy? Concern? Before I could work it out the third one said, "We have to bring you in for questioning."

Anger welled in my chest as I said, "What is she being questioned for?" I put a hand on Tonks' arm hoping to shield her from this unpleasantness.

"That is none of your business, wolf," Dawlish spat. His wand was directed at my chest as he said, "We're bringing you in too."

Agitation rang in Tonks' voice as she demanded, "What are you bringing him in for?"

I saw her eyes lock onto that man. "Tonks, it's best if you just come with us," he said in a gentle voice. I wondered how close they'd gotten over the months and if he was still involved with her. I knew I had less than no room to be jealous as I had repeatedly declared myself against having a relationship with her, but the thought of her and him living together as I yearned to live with her ate at me despite our perilous situation.

Tonks acquiesced to their demands and we slowly got out of bed. They led, half dragged, us to a building that had been converted, likely overnight, into a Ministry outpost. Dawlish had an iron grip on my arm while the other two led Tonks quite gently. Once we were in the building, Tonks was taken in a separate direction from me. I panicked and began to yell, "Where are you taking her? Where?"

My shouts were silenced by a blow to the head. "Quiet wolf or I'll get someone to take out that throat of yours," Dawlish said in a deathly voice. "In here," he added shoving me into a small room. There was a chair in the middle which I was promptly tied to. Dawlish shut the door with a flick of his wand and let a truly evil grin spread across his face as he said, "Let's get to know one another."